Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Funky's Special Show - Naruto Addition ❯ Paradise Lost, Found, and Lost Again ( Chapter 4 )
[ A - All Readers ]
By: SuperPandaGirl 
Okay, Kakashi's turn! The legendary Kakashi, man of steel! Just wait and see what happens to him in this sad, sad chapter. And where's Sakura? Find out! Read! Read! Don't make me come after you! *pulls out shuriken*
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Action | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 11.21.2005 | Updated On: 11.21.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 400 | Status: Completed
Okay, Kakashi's turn! The legendary Kakashi, man of steel! Just wait and see what happens to him in this sad, sad chapter. And where's Sakura? Find out! Read! Read! Don't make me come after you! *pulls out shuriken*
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy / Action | Type: Self Insertion | Uploaded On: 11.21.2005 | Updated On: 11.21.2005 | Pages: 3 | Words: 1.7K | Visits: 400 | Status: Completed
Okay, thanks to reviews, I am now ready to do the Kakashi chapter. Depending on the reviews I get, this may or may not be the last chapter of this story. If you want to see it continue, please be sure to tell me, and I will comply with your requests. Wow, that sounded really weird!
But since I’m in such a good mood...*hugs reviewers*...I’m ready to do my worst! Kakashi, here I come!!!!!!!! Although...you’d think if I’m in a good mood, I wouldn’t want to be torturing people...but I’m scary that way.
************
3 months later, Viewer #1 turned on the TV. She was flipping through the channels, looking for something to come on.
“Hey,” said Viewer #2. “Turn it back.”
“Yeah,” agreed Viewer #3. “I think I saw something.” He had recently re-discovered his underwear hidden in the toaster when he tried to make toast.
“I haven’t even said anything yet!” said Viewer #1. “I always open!”
“Who cares,” said Viewer #2. “You have the remote.”
So Viewer #1 turned back about 50 channels, and all three stared in amazement. It was Funky’s Special Show! The show that, 3 months ago, had been postponed due to legal matters!
“Hi!” said Funky from the screen. “I’m your host, Funky Magnum, and I’m back!”
“Yes, and he has a new assistant!” said a voice from the side. Panda bounced out, wearing bunny ears. “Me! Funky’s super-cool sister, Panda!”
“IT’S HER!” cried Viewer #1, referring to the strange girl who had continuously showed up in the house with her weird friend, Quigley.
“My brother had troubling legal problems,” Rain continued, “but, for a price, I got him out of it, because the show must go on!”
“So,” said Funky, shoving Rain out of the way, “last time it was Sakura. I am sorry to say, Sakura had an unfortunate...‘accident’...”
(Flashback)
Sasuke walked up to Sakura wearing sunglasses. Sakura was standing on a dock, fishing with a mop.
“Oh, hi, Sasuke!” Sakura said.
“Uh, I’m not Sasuke. I’m...agent S.” Sasuke paused. “I’m here to...to...”
“To what?” Sakura asked, blinking.
Suddenly, Sasuke reached out and pushed Sakura over the side of the dock. Then he re-adjusted his sunglasses and walked off.
(End Flashback)
“I’m right here!” said Panda, walking out wearing a Sakura costume and a pink wig.
“Uh, no offense, but you look like a scary doll,” said Quigley, once again snacking on a candy-bar.
Panda shrugged. “It’s the best I could do on such short notice.”
“The scary thing is that you even HAVE a Sakura costume,” Quigley said.
“ANYWAY, once my sister stops being a pinhead-” started Funky.
“Hahaha...pinhead...Oh, sorry. Carry on,” said Panda.
“Right. Today, since we finally FOUND him, it’s Special Guest Kakashi!” Funky waved his arms.
“Huh?” said Kakashi, walking onto the screen from the right.
“Hi, Kakashi!” said Funky. “Can I have your autograph!”
Panda shoved Funky out of the way. “Sorry, my brother, but I think you are going to have to sit this one out.” She got out some rope and tied Funky to a tree.
“BUT YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!” whined Funky.
“Why do have a rope?” asked Quigley.
Panda looked at the rope. “What, this? I always carry a rope around with me.”
“Yeah, I have to be around Naruto all day, so I know what I’m talking about when I say you people are WEIRD.” Kakashi reached into his back pocket. “I think I’ll just...MY BOOK!”
Panda just smirked.
“All right, you little punk, what have you done with my book?”
“Ooh, what book?” Panda blinked innocently.
“NO!” cried Funky. “DON’T FALL INTO THAT EVIL-MASTERMINDED TRAP OF HERS!”
“My book,” said Kakashi, not quite irritated, but not completely calm, either.
“Oh, well, I sure didn’t...SWIPE...it, if that’s what you’re saying. I’m just a little girl! I can’t do that...” Panda blinked her eyes.
Quigley just looked at her. Then he opened a can of pop with his mittened hands.
“Quigley,” Panda said, turning, “why in the world do you still have mittens on?”
Quigley shrugged. “...’Cause...”
“Well, anyway, I do have this really interesting book I found...it’s called something like...Cha Cha Mice?”
“That’s...what?” Kakashi squinted.
“SHE’S DOING THAT STUPID WORD GAME!!!” yelled Funky from his tree.
“Shut up, Funky!” yelled Panda, throwing a camera at Funky.
“Ouch!” said Funky.
“Anyway,” said Panda, dragging out the word, “I don’t need it anymore, so I was just going to throw it away.” She dangled the book over a pond. Shadow the white fish stuck it’s weird mouth out of the water.
“Where did that pond come from?” said Quigley. “And why is it called Shadow if it’s white?”
“Don’t ask me, I saw it at the pet store.” Panda blinked. “Now, where was I?”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” cried Kakashi. “Please, not my Icha Icha Paradise! I’ll do ANYTHING!”
“Oh, but Kakashi, you are already doing what you are supposed to be doing!” said Panda. “Getting annoyed and or emotionally scarred!”
Kakashi blinked. “Well, then, I’m not falling for it. Thanks for telling me.” He started to walk off.
Panda dropped the book in the water. “Oops, how CLUMSY of me!”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” yelled Kakashi, jumping in after his precious book.
“Panda-” Quigley started.
“I’m SAKURA,” said Panda.
“No idiot’s gonna fall for that,” said Sasuke, walking onto the screen, holding a cricket bat.
“What’s with you and the weird sports?” asked Panda.
“Hey, Sakura!” called Naruto, running up to Panda.
“He fell for it,” Panda said to Sasuke.
“No kidding,” muttered Sasuke, walking off.
“So, Sakura, I was wondering if I could show you how high I can get with my chakra!” said Naruto, still being dumb.
“Uh, sure,” said Panda.
“That’s not Sakura!” yelled Kakashi, trying to fight off the killer koi.
“Yeah, right, I’m not stupid,” said Naruto, not realizing that in most aspects he WAS stupid.
“Ah, my book!” cried Kakashi happily.
Panda turned to see him cooking Shadow over a fire while drying out his book. “Yeah, that’s great, but you’re paying me back for that fish.”
Suddenly someone walked onto the screen. “Kakashi! Kakashi!”
Kakashi turned around. “What? Can’t you see I’m busy?”
Panda walked over to Kakashi, grabbed Icha Icha Paradise, and casually tossed it into the fire. “Now you’re not.”
“AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Kakashi screamed. Then he jumped into the fire, trying to grab his book.
“AHAHAHAHAHA! Look, Sakura!” Naruto said to Panda. “Kakashi’s on fire!”
“HELP!!!” yelled Kakashi. “I’m on fire! Don’t just stand there like idiots! DO SOMETHING!”
“Uh, I was just going to tell you that-” started the person, then looked down at writing on their arm.
“Oh, it’s Jiraiya!” said Funky from his tree.
“Jiraiya!” yelled Kakashi. “My book! Will you give me another one? I’m too cheap to spend money.” He was still on fire.
“I, uh...” Jiraiya read more writing. “I...cancelled...”
Panda gave Jiraiya a thumbs-up.
“...the series.” Jiraiya then walked off the set after being slipped a twenty.
“What?” Kakashi had completely forgotten he was burning. “WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO MY STUDENTS!?!?”
“Why’s he on fire?” asked Sasuke, walking up to Panda.
“Nooooooo!” wailed Funky from his tree. “How could you do this? He’s the coolest person!”
“Sakura, that was way cool!” said Naruto to Panda.
“That’s not...who cares,” said Sasuke.
“And that’s today’s show!” said Panda, waltzing off the screen.
Everyone else left, except for Funky, being tied to the tree, and Kakashi, who was crying on the ground.
“Wow,” said Viewer #1.
“They pulled it off!” exclaimed Viewer #3.
“STOP MIXING UP OUR NUMBERS!!!” yelled Viewer #2.
************
Jiraiya: Some of you may have heard that I cancelled the series ‘Icha Icha Paradise’.
Kid: Yeah, what’s up with that?
Jiraiya: Well, I didn’t. I’ll do anything to make a twenty.
Kid: Huh?
Jiraiya: Yeah, Sakura paid me off.
Kid: But...that wasn’t Sakura.
Jiraiya: Sure, it was! Anyway, this has been a paid commercial...not paid for by me.
Kid: Cheapo.
Jiraiya: And you, kid, shouldn’t be rotting your brain reading my books.
Kid: Fine, I’ll keep my money.
Jiraiya: Wait! I didn’t mean that!
************
Well, that’s all four I was originally going to do. I was considering continuing next with some anger managment classes, because these people seem like they need them. Or maybe some psychological therapy. Review and tell me what you think! Or, I could broadcast more episodes...feel free to give me ideas, or tell me if it stinks and to quit the story and write a new one. And thanks to all the reviewers so far! *pulls out shuriken* Now to go pay Joe back for 8th grade!
************
But since I’m in such a good mood...*hugs reviewers*...I’m ready to do my worst! Kakashi, here I come!!!!!!!! Although...you’d think if I’m in a good mood, I wouldn’t want to be torturing people...but I’m scary that way.
************
3 months later, Viewer #1 turned on the TV. She was flipping through the channels, looking for something to come on.
“Hey,” said Viewer #2. “Turn it back.”
“Yeah,” agreed Viewer #3. “I think I saw something.” He had recently re-discovered his underwear hidden in the toaster when he tried to make toast.
“I haven’t even said anything yet!” said Viewer #1. “I always open!”
“Who cares,” said Viewer #2. “You have the remote.”
So Viewer #1 turned back about 50 channels, and all three stared in amazement. It was Funky’s Special Show! The show that, 3 months ago, had been postponed due to legal matters!
“Hi!” said Funky from the screen. “I’m your host, Funky Magnum, and I’m back!”
“Yes, and he has a new assistant!” said a voice from the side. Panda bounced out, wearing bunny ears. “Me! Funky’s super-cool sister, Panda!”
“IT’S HER!” cried Viewer #1, referring to the strange girl who had continuously showed up in the house with her weird friend, Quigley.
“My brother had troubling legal problems,” Rain continued, “but, for a price, I got him out of it, because the show must go on!”
“So,” said Funky, shoving Rain out of the way, “last time it was Sakura. I am sorry to say, Sakura had an unfortunate...‘accident’...”
(Flashback)
Sasuke walked up to Sakura wearing sunglasses. Sakura was standing on a dock, fishing with a mop.
“Oh, hi, Sasuke!” Sakura said.
“Uh, I’m not Sasuke. I’m...agent S.” Sasuke paused. “I’m here to...to...”
“To what?” Sakura asked, blinking.
Suddenly, Sasuke reached out and pushed Sakura over the side of the dock. Then he re-adjusted his sunglasses and walked off.
(End Flashback)
“I’m right here!” said Panda, walking out wearing a Sakura costume and a pink wig.
“Uh, no offense, but you look like a scary doll,” said Quigley, once again snacking on a candy-bar.
Panda shrugged. “It’s the best I could do on such short notice.”
“The scary thing is that you even HAVE a Sakura costume,” Quigley said.
“ANYWAY, once my sister stops being a pinhead-” started Funky.
“Hahaha...pinhead...Oh, sorry. Carry on,” said Panda.
“Right. Today, since we finally FOUND him, it’s Special Guest Kakashi!” Funky waved his arms.
“Huh?” said Kakashi, walking onto the screen from the right.
“Hi, Kakashi!” said Funky. “Can I have your autograph!”
Panda shoved Funky out of the way. “Sorry, my brother, but I think you are going to have to sit this one out.” She got out some rope and tied Funky to a tree.
“BUT YOU CAN’T DO THIS TO ME!” whined Funky.
“Why do have a rope?” asked Quigley.
Panda looked at the rope. “What, this? I always carry a rope around with me.”
“Yeah, I have to be around Naruto all day, so I know what I’m talking about when I say you people are WEIRD.” Kakashi reached into his back pocket. “I think I’ll just...MY BOOK!”
Panda just smirked.
“All right, you little punk, what have you done with my book?”
“Ooh, what book?” Panda blinked innocently.
“NO!” cried Funky. “DON’T FALL INTO THAT EVIL-MASTERMINDED TRAP OF HERS!”
“My book,” said Kakashi, not quite irritated, but not completely calm, either.
“Oh, well, I sure didn’t...SWIPE...it, if that’s what you’re saying. I’m just a little girl! I can’t do that...” Panda blinked her eyes.
Quigley just looked at her. Then he opened a can of pop with his mittened hands.
“Quigley,” Panda said, turning, “why in the world do you still have mittens on?”
Quigley shrugged. “...’Cause...”
“Well, anyway, I do have this really interesting book I found...it’s called something like...Cha Cha Mice?”
“That’s...what?” Kakashi squinted.
“SHE’S DOING THAT STUPID WORD GAME!!!” yelled Funky from his tree.
“Shut up, Funky!” yelled Panda, throwing a camera at Funky.
“Ouch!” said Funky.
“Anyway,” said Panda, dragging out the word, “I don’t need it anymore, so I was just going to throw it away.” She dangled the book over a pond. Shadow the white fish stuck it’s weird mouth out of the water.
“Where did that pond come from?” said Quigley. “And why is it called Shadow if it’s white?”
“Don’t ask me, I saw it at the pet store.” Panda blinked. “Now, where was I?”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” cried Kakashi. “Please, not my Icha Icha Paradise! I’ll do ANYTHING!”
“Oh, but Kakashi, you are already doing what you are supposed to be doing!” said Panda. “Getting annoyed and or emotionally scarred!”
Kakashi blinked. “Well, then, I’m not falling for it. Thanks for telling me.” He started to walk off.
Panda dropped the book in the water. “Oops, how CLUMSY of me!”
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!” yelled Kakashi, jumping in after his precious book.
“Panda-” Quigley started.
“I’m SAKURA,” said Panda.
“No idiot’s gonna fall for that,” said Sasuke, walking onto the screen, holding a cricket bat.
“What’s with you and the weird sports?” asked Panda.
“Hey, Sakura!” called Naruto, running up to Panda.
“He fell for it,” Panda said to Sasuke.
“No kidding,” muttered Sasuke, walking off.
“So, Sakura, I was wondering if I could show you how high I can get with my chakra!” said Naruto, still being dumb.
“Uh, sure,” said Panda.
“That’s not Sakura!” yelled Kakashi, trying to fight off the killer koi.
“Yeah, right, I’m not stupid,” said Naruto, not realizing that in most aspects he WAS stupid.
“Ah, my book!” cried Kakashi happily.
Panda turned to see him cooking Shadow over a fire while drying out his book. “Yeah, that’s great, but you’re paying me back for that fish.”
Suddenly someone walked onto the screen. “Kakashi! Kakashi!”
Kakashi turned around. “What? Can’t you see I’m busy?”
Panda walked over to Kakashi, grabbed Icha Icha Paradise, and casually tossed it into the fire. “Now you’re not.”
“AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Kakashi screamed. Then he jumped into the fire, trying to grab his book.
“AHAHAHAHAHA! Look, Sakura!” Naruto said to Panda. “Kakashi’s on fire!”
“HELP!!!” yelled Kakashi. “I’m on fire! Don’t just stand there like idiots! DO SOMETHING!”
“Uh, I was just going to tell you that-” started the person, then looked down at writing on their arm.
“Oh, it’s Jiraiya!” said Funky from his tree.
“Jiraiya!” yelled Kakashi. “My book! Will you give me another one? I’m too cheap to spend money.” He was still on fire.
“I, uh...” Jiraiya read more writing. “I...cancelled...”
Panda gave Jiraiya a thumbs-up.
“...the series.” Jiraiya then walked off the set after being slipped a twenty.
“What?” Kakashi had completely forgotten he was burning. “WHAT? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO INSTEAD OF LISTENING TO MY STUDENTS!?!?”
“Why’s he on fire?” asked Sasuke, walking up to Panda.
“Nooooooo!” wailed Funky from his tree. “How could you do this? He’s the coolest person!”
“Sakura, that was way cool!” said Naruto to Panda.
“That’s not...who cares,” said Sasuke.
“And that’s today’s show!” said Panda, waltzing off the screen.
Everyone else left, except for Funky, being tied to the tree, and Kakashi, who was crying on the ground.
“Wow,” said Viewer #1.
“They pulled it off!” exclaimed Viewer #3.
“STOP MIXING UP OUR NUMBERS!!!” yelled Viewer #2.
************
Jiraiya: Some of you may have heard that I cancelled the series ‘Icha Icha Paradise’.
Kid: Yeah, what’s up with that?
Jiraiya: Well, I didn’t. I’ll do anything to make a twenty.
Kid: Huh?
Jiraiya: Yeah, Sakura paid me off.
Kid: But...that wasn’t Sakura.
Jiraiya: Sure, it was! Anyway, this has been a paid commercial...not paid for by me.
Kid: Cheapo.
Jiraiya: And you, kid, shouldn’t be rotting your brain reading my books.
Kid: Fine, I’ll keep my money.
Jiraiya: Wait! I didn’t mean that!
************
Well, that’s all four I was originally going to do. I was considering continuing next with some anger managment classes, because these people seem like they need them. Or maybe some psychological therapy. Review and tell me what you think! Or, I could broadcast more episodes...feel free to give me ideas, or tell me if it stinks and to quit the story and write a new one. And thanks to all the reviewers so far! *pulls out shuriken* Now to go pay Joe back for 8th grade!
************