Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Gentle Lesson: The Restoration of the Hatake ❯ Nothing To Return to ( Chapter 3 )

I don't own Naruto…. I wish I did… but I don't… considering this chapter… perhaps it's just as well…

 

To my reviewers: *hugs and kisses*………

 

dragoness5476 - hmmmmm……. Well keep reading - if you've read any of my previous stuff, you can know what to expect…. Iruka… Genma… Raidou… I like to have a bit for the whole gang… cheers!

 

Blackrose113 - thank you for reviewing! I like hearing from old reviewers and new reviewers!

 

Thanks very much for all the encouragement! Please review! It's such a small price to pay for something fun that's for free!

 

 

Nothing to Return To

 

Konoha lay dark - just beginning to lighten under the slowly rising sun. Finding his way, past his apartment, Kakashi noticed the extensive renovations on the headquarters.

 

And further on ahead, the complex which stood over the foundations of his old apartment building.

 

He passed by without pause.

 

All, all these were scars of war - of bombs - of loss.

 

Not that he had had much to lose anyway.

 

Item: Icha Icha series, an alarm clock, his mother's quilt and Mr. Ukki.

 

New books had been bought, a new bedspread found in a discount store.

 

But Mr. Ukki, irreplaceable (a gift from Rin), had not survived. And the photos remained behind cracked glass and bent frames - certainly fragile now.

 

And our old building… now a complex….

 

Kakashi chuckled mirthlessly behind his bone-white mask.

 

Funny.

Funny how what he cared for the least had been replaced the easiest.

 

Funny.

Or maybe not.

 

But now was not the time for the relaxation of his apartment's silence.

 

Making his way down to the underground world of ANBU, below the HQ, Kakashi mentally debriefed himself in preparation.

 

He had found the enemy nins in a demoralized state - easy prey - and he had taken no time to kill them - the heads brought back were proof enough.

 

I'll mention where I found them.

How I found them.

The plan of attack and the result….

 

But Kakashi knew he couldn't talk about - well, it couldn't be feelings - the hole in his chest that grew in time to the drip of wet leaves.

 

An hour later, Kakashi sighed as he found his way to the shower room.

 

For the most part, the debriefing had gone as planned. As Kakashi glibly reeled off the facts coldly.

 

But…. HE was there…..

 

It had been a shock. It had been a shock to see his long-time - acquaintance??? - sitting there - with his black great coat cloaking his imposing figure and grew uniform.

 

How long has it been since I've seen that familiar hitae ate skully cap?

 

A year?

 

They had seen each other off and on….

 

But I haven't worked under Ibiki since the old days - when I was young and just starting at ANBU.

 

Kakashi frowned as he pulled his dog mask away and stripped off his forearm protectors.

 

Although he is no longer my superior - I have worked solo so long now - I stand alone - his presence….

 

And Kakashi pondered his newest set of mission directives.

 

He had done it many times before - getting the new ANBU members settled.

 

Breaking them in.

 

Not only was it a chance for the new recruits to have hands on experience but also a chance for the lucky older ANBUs (only six of them left) to pass on their quirky knowledge and tips - and it kept the ANBU from going crazy due to the amount of solo missions many of them took.

 

Kakashi hated breaking in missions - he avoided them like the plague.

 

Babysitting juniors reminded him too much….

It was too close to the fragmented photos…

 

I want to be stronger!

I'll be Hokage one day! You watch!

Shut up, dobe.

My dream is -

 

The memories hit him with the lukewarm water of the showers, which cantankerously couldn't decide between cold or hot. And he was glad for the mask as it clung suffocatingly to his lips. At least no one could see his jolt of pain. He cursed the part that hat felt the pain at the thought.

 

I'm invulnerable, dammit! Even to Ibiki's glares.

 

But Ibiki's notoriously good at reading a man - that is his contribution to Konoha - that is what makes him so damn good in the torture and interrogation squad.

 

As he rinsed his soapy hair, Kakashi wondered - what did the scarred Jounin see?

 

He pulled off his wet mask, donned a dry one and stood staring at the wall of the adjacent dressing room.

 

What if -?

 

His mind was jolted out of its train of thought as a hand slid familiarly down between his thighs. Without thought, the silver-haired nin turned and slugged -

 

Yukio.

 

Fuck.

 

Yukio peeled himself off of the wall with a feral grin - hair, wet, flopped in long black strands over his flawless face.

 

“What, Kakashi, don't remember me?”

 

He turned to two young shinobi - one of them not much older than nineteen - who stood there, scared stiff.

“This is your new captain, boys,” Yukio leered. “The tensai ninja. Hatake Kakashi. You know - Sharingan no Kakashi.”

The young men stared wide-eyed. Kakashi cursed Yukio softly, while leisurely swiping his towel to cover himself.

 

He could already see their thoughts.

Written in their eyes.

He hated it.

He hated what they saw.

 

The long, slim, muscle-toned body graced with scars which lay almost invisibly over his pale skin. And even worse, they had caught him off guard, when he liked to meet the newbies on his own terms - three hours late.

 

Not that I'm a hypocrite - but most seem to think treating me as an old drinking buddy is fine. Which it is not. Well, it wasn't like it was their fault. Yukio is mainly to blame. And full justice will have to be meted out for that…. A black eye wouldn't be enough…. Hmmm…. Well… thank Kami at least I had my mask on… it isn't like -

 

He pulled his pants on with much thought, while his team waited and watched.

 

The boys wanted reassurance.

He could see that

 

Maaaa… my first impression of you guys - I hate you -

 

It hit him hard as he pulled down his shirt - and he pulled it down viciously, wishing it wasn't so skin tight.

 

Yukio backed away as a wave of killer intent hit him from the vicinity of Kakashi. The two junior ANBU tensed. Kakashi gave a soundless sigh and turned around once he donned his white vest and his gloves.

 

“What're your names?” he asked, stuffing his gear away.

“Makoto.”

“Ichiro.”

“Fine. We'll meet tomorrow at five in the morning and go on from there.”

The boys looked at each other.

 

Those boys -

No.

They aren't really boys.

But their eyes are so young.

Not like Yukio's.

Not like his.

 

So -

 

- a chestnut ponytail, warm brown eyes, a horizontal scar -

 

Kakashi mentally flinched.

 

“I thought you were - um - orphaned. Like Naruto.”

“What made you think that?” asked Kakashi curiously.

“Well… there's that look in your eyes….. eye…..”

“Look?”

“Lost and lonely.”

 

But the lamps would dim as they would be sucked dry - by bastards like Yukio.

 

Their youth will disappear like mine under disillusionment. To know that life is worthy only what a daimyo is willing to hire you for.

 

He should have told them.

He should have told them - along with his wise words on misusing jutsus or the importance of teamwork - that disillusionment was the work of time.

 

And time was the inevitable turning of the wheel of life.

 

You shouldn't be here.

Go home.

Go back home to your lovers.

Stay with them while you can.

You won't lose them.

But they will lose you.

 

They parted at the entrance, unsure. Yukio had spent most of the short trip up trying to stir Kakashi with sexual innuendoes and cynical jabs.

 

“Be careful, boys! He likes it rough!”

“Don't look him in the eye - who knows where he'll put you!”

 

Kakashi satisfied himself with the thought of wiping him out during a practice session.

 

That will serve the bastard right.

 

 

Against my better judgement, I wrote something that could be termed as very, very rough, which won't be posted on fanfiction but most likely either on my livejournal - I go under `senbonbongenma' or at mediaminer.org, where I am also `Kakashidiot'….

 

So if you want to read something rather sad and partially explanatory concerning Kakashi's problems, read `Dirt'. Otherwise, next time, I'll be posting something up next time about Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke, with a little bit of Tsunade, Jiraiya and Iruka!!!