Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Gentle Lesson: The Restoration of the Hatake ❯ Hope: Memory Bridges Death ( Chapter 14 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

When tears are in your eyes


Why do you always sacrifice for me? What did I do to deserve this burden called life?


Kakashi, standing at the memorial, fell forward onto his knees rather painfully. Ignoring the throbbing pain in his calf and arm, he bowed his head in thought, memory, gratitude, bewilderment, guilt and pain.


Why did you have to leave me, mother? When I needed you most. No. When Father needed you most.


It was a new memorial – the old one had been blown up by a particularly psychotic ex-Leaf-turned-Sound-nin. The new one was larger, greyer – it loomed in the dusk like one of those crypt-like tombs. One side was filled with names. On it – Sensei. Rin. Obito. Hayate.


But not Father. Not Mother. But maybe…. Me….


Kakashi. You’re our hope. In you, lies the restoration of the Hatake!


He’s a gift, Hana-chan. But you’re the greatest gift of all.


Mother.


Naruto found comfort in a ramen bowl. And it was there – at the new Ichiraku Ramen shop – padded stools and a brand new counter and all – that Iruka found him – staring down into an empty bowl, while beside him sat an unopened stack of files.


“You seem upset,” Iruka noted in a soft voice, adopting the professional ‘tell-Mama-Iruka-all-about-it’ tone of voice.
“It’s Asuma. He said Kakashi-sensei sucked as a sensei.” Naruto’s blue eyes clouded over.
“You think that’s true?”“Of course not.”
“Hmmm…” Iruka scratched his scar thoughtfully.“You think so too, Iruka?”
“Well… Naruto… it takes many years of knowing how to deal with relationships to understand the intricacies of teaching – especially children. Jounin-sensei are no different. In a way, Asuma himself understands the difficulty of teaching. You know how tough he was on Chouji, how he coddled Shikamaru – and Ino was never really easy for him to connect with. But still… Kakashi-sensei did as well as he could with what he understood about humans.”“I guess.”
“Asuma and Kurenai would hang out with their teams on off days. Kakashi never seemed to be like that with you guys. Team 7 was really segmented off the battle field. I know that Kakashi saw you guys as a team during the missions – and you learned how to fight well with Sasuke and Sakura. But as soon as the mission was done, he would disappear. You remember complaining all those years about that, right?”
“Yeah…”
“Perhaps, when you guys research his past, you can find out what kind of relationship he had with his own team – that is most often an indicator of what he grew up to expect. And I don’t know much about his home life – only rumors that his parents died when he was really young – and in such a way as to scar him.”
“I never had parents – and I wasn’t like that!”
“That’s because you’re strong, Naruto-kun!”
“Strong? Of course I am! But that’s because you and Kakashi-sensei and Sakura-chan and even the idiot Sasuke and Jiraiya and Tsunade-baachan were all there for me!”
“True. But who was there for Kakashi-sensei?”
Naruto blinked and then nodded.
“Anyway,” Iruka smiled. “I brought four mission notes – the most legible ones – that he wrote on you guys as a team. I heard from Shizune about the research and I found these a couple of hours ago. Maybe you’re interested in scanning them?”
“Thanks, Iruka-sensei!” Naruto smiled, as he grabbed up the offered files and added them to his other pile. “I’ll take these and have a look at these. After all, I - eh?”
Naruto stopped at the look on Iruka’s face – and for the first time he noted how silent the shop had fallen. Iruka leaned silently back, revealing the dark uniform, white vest and the white mask of an ANBU.


“Two miso to go.”
A harsh whisper.


Nothing was said as the silent warrior waited for the boxes. Then, without a sound, with bag in hand, he disappeared.


“They always give me the chills,” Iruka breathed out as chatter slowly began again. “It’s the masks. I remember telling Genma that they reminded me of tree spirits.”
“Now, you’re scaring me,” Naruto shivered. “Just thinking that –“
His blue eyes fell on the files, and his shoulders straightened.
“I better get going – get started on these.”
“Good luck, Naruto. Do well. No. I know you will do well!”
“Have a good night, Iruka-sensei!”
“Sure, you too! Say hi to Shizune-san for me!”
Grinning – his eyes curved up in crescents, arm waving madly – Naruto dashed off. Iruka smiled.


I take his inner balance – his ability to make something good out nothing – for granted. It’s a gift to smile.


And with that, Naruto walked out into oncoming evening.


An hour later, after reading the 23 mission files, Naruto lay back on his sagging puke green couch and sighed.


The D-ranks:


“Show sincredible chakra manipulation.”
“Already knows how to master his chakra.”
“Advanced knowledge of kata.”
“Hard working.”“Standoffish.”
“Troubles in family life seem to cause issues of trust and teamwork.”
“Father failed to show for Chuunin exam.”


The C-ranks:


“5 broken ribs, and 1 broken wrist. Perfect healing. Father never came to visit.”
“Mission was a success, except for the real lack of teamwork on the part of Obito and Kakashi – they kept on nagging each other through the whole mission.”
“Rejected Rin’s administrations the other day. Must talk to him.”
“First kill on Kakashi’s part – a Chuunin kunoichi from Leaf. I always hated joint missions – now he’ll hate them too. You never know whom to trust. But then, he was never really trusting of anybody but himself.”
“Ever since Father’s death, an alarming dedication to nitpicky rules. Drives Obito crazy – teamwork has been deteriorating rapidly. Rin’s admonishments have no effect. Either they’ll get it together, or they’ll tear each other apart.”


The B, A and S-ranks were written by Kakashi himself. Objective and then not very. Even though the details – the wounds, the breaks and the losses were stated clearly (as much as bad handwriting could allow) – anything personal seemed to have been erased from the author.


“Elimination of the target, successful, despite complications due to teammate’s bad physical condition.”
“Retrieval of Princess a success. Snow Country has been taken entirely over by her Uncle – have placed her under the pre-arranged caregiver. No success in defeating the shinobi from Snow.”
“Protection of target: failed. Due to physical disabilities (concussion, sprained ankle, broken arm and 2 stab wounds) and teamwork disintegration (Hui’s treason). Suggest hunter-nin for Hui and an ANBU team to eliminate the four missing-nins.”


Naruto massaged his brow, casting his restless gaze around him. His apartment was a mess. Clothes were scattered everywhere, his bed in the corner still unmade – and piled high in the sink, a huge stash of unwashed dishes which smelled.


This is just too unnatural for me to be sitting here! Kakashi – when this is over and done with you’re going to owe me big time! And my apartment isn’t the nicest place to hang out in, either.


After getting some cup ramen heated up (no bowls necessary) – and several lettuce leaves torn up into a (hastily washed) bowl, Naruto sat down for a quick bite before attacking Iruka’s four files. He was still sitting there trying to decipher Kakashi (still) bad handwriting… (was that Sasuke or Sakura???)… when a knock sounded on his door.


Getting up slowly while trying to understand what Kakashi was implying when he wrote, “Sasuke is skilled, but Naruto more impassioned for Leaf. Hate vs. stupidity. Which is worse?” Naruto opened his door and blinked at the sight of Genma standing outside.


“Genma-san,” he said slowly. “What – what… hey… it better not be a mission – I’m busy right now. And you can tell that again to the old hag!”
“No, no!” Genma smiled. “I was thinking maybe a drink at the bar – and a little talk about something!”
His senbon quirked upwards.
“Unless you’re busy???”
“Welll….” Naruto hesitated. “I WAS busy reading…”
“Reading?”
“Yeah… hey! What are you looking so funny about?” The kitsune’s fists clenched.
“Nothing.”
“Nothing? Nothing???!!! Yeah right! I bet you thought I was too stupid to read, right?”
“You said it, I didn’t!”


Genma dodged Naruto’s quick punch.


“So what’s it gonna be?”
“Bar, of course. I think I’ve read enough tonight.” Naruto froze. “SHIT!!! I was supposed to meet Sasuke and Sakura tonight!!! Damn! Yeah! Let’s go to the regular!”
Genma shrugged.
“Hurry then… What were you reading anyway?” he called as Naruto turned away inside to prepare for his night out. The slick Special Jounin slid inside and picked up the topmost open file.


“Ech! It stinks in here! Air the room out! Or better yet – get a woman into your life. You’re going to kill yourself with your own hygiene issues! Ah-Ah! What do you have here??? Kakashi’s reports on Team 7. Fun. Fun. Getting nostalgic are we?”
“Stop touching that! That’s classified information!”
“If it’s about you, it should be… but no… this is a file from Iruka’s stash. Hn…
Hate or Stupidity. What is worse?... I’d say… Hate… You can always correct stupidity.”
“You can always correct hate, too.”
“Sure.”
“I mean it… Look at Sasuke.”
“Oh. Yeah.”
“Stop being an idiot – and get AWAY from there! It’s a secret. Seriously.”
“Okay, okay! Mum’s the word!”
“Sure it is,” Naruto muttered. “You’ll tell Raido tonight and then all of Konoha will know.”
“Should I beat you up for that?” frowned Genma. “Raido-kun knows how to keep his tongue. Don’t worry…. You’re still not ready?... Geez… what a slowpoke… What – what are you getting all fancy for? Are you still hot on Sakura?”
“Just shut up. You don’t know anything.”
“Whatever… I’ll just spend my time… hey! Check this out! It says… Sakura in love with Sasuke, Naruto in love with Sakura. If Sasuke loved Naruto we’d have a perfect love triangle. What’s with kids nowadays? They’re worse than Icha Icha characters... hahaha!!! That’d be his take on it – still, it’d be hard to NOT be sweet on Sakura. She’s one lovely cherry blossom if you get my meaning…”“Genma. Don’t you even THINK about it…”
“I’m happy. I’ve got Raido.”
“Yeah… and that thing with Hana was – what… a myth?”
“Oooh! The big boy knows complex words!”


For a moment there was silence, then Genma laughed.
“He says here… Teamwork has been falling apart lately. The mission was nearly endangered when Naruto led his dog into the mine field. Sadly, not even mines can create common sense. Seriously jeopardizing my Icha Icha reading times…. And over here he writes… Team acting funny. I think it’s the whole mask thing. Again. When will they learn? Have decided to wear two just in case. You never know. I love messing with their heads!... I guess you guys did alright in the end.”
“Of course we did – else I wouldn’t be here talking to you – I’d be dead due to overuse of the Kyuubi. Sasuke would be Orochimaru and Sakura would’ve died of a broken heart!”
“Good point. I guess, because you guys weren’t the chummiest off mission, it’s kind of hard to see that.”
“Well… don’t go by impressions then. You’re just like Asuma.”
“Asuma?”
“Yeah, he said Kakashi was a useless sensei.”
“Hmmm… sounds like he’s worried.”
“Worried?”
“He’s the harshest on the people he cares about the most. His team is a case in point.”
“I guess.”“Are you still NOT done? That’s it. I’m gone!”
“No! Wait! Coming, coming!”


Grabbing his scroll of notes, Naruto darted out the door after Genma.


It was seven o’clock and his two teammates hadn’t showed. Sitting in the dark corner of the tavern, Naruto waited for Genma to return from the bar.


Ah well… I’m guessing that they’re really caught up in their stuff. Meh. It’s a good night to have a drink and relax, though.


There seemed to be a dearth of Jounin this evening. Most of the time, when they weren’t called away on overnight or week-long missions, the Jounin gathered at this bar for chatting, serious drinking and gossip exchange. Even though the younger Jounin enjoyed the superior drinks of the establishment and the sense of ancient tradition as seen by the inscribed carvings and graffiti in the wooden beams, they only came around every so often. On the other side of town, there was a flashy club where dancing could be had – and the girls loved to dance. And, as Shika noted, the boys were content to watch.


Sometimes.


Naruto looked up and wondered if he took the time he would find Kakashi’s mark somewhere in the eaves of the building. If there was some sort of sign of his sensei’s existence.


Or maybe not. He doesn’t seem to be the prankster type.


“Praying to kami – or your ancestors?” Genma’s husky voice asked mockingly.
“Neither,” Naruto laughed. “I don’t know them.”
Genma shrugged.
“Yeah – well – it’s not like they’d be interested all that much in what we have to say, anyway – lucky bastards.”
“So,” Naruto asked, eyes burning as he smacked his hand down on the table and loomed over Genma. “What’s with this whole trip?”
“We need to talk.”
“I thought we just did,” Naruto blinked. “You have an ulterior motive?”
“Well… Those files on your team – you’re not reading them to find out about Team 7, am I right? After all – it’s about YOU.”
Naruto hesitated.
“It’s alright,” continued Genma. “I understand. You’re looking for your sensei.”
Naruto blinked.
“How did you-“
“Iruka was concerned enough to come to us.”
“What…”
“Yeah. Apparently Sakura’s been off her feed lately.”“And why you?”


Then Naruto remembered what Asuma said.


Genma was the one who really helped me understand, come to think of it. If it hadn’t been for him, I wouldn’t have been more sympathetic. I found out that that day had been his first time in the mission room in EIGHT years – for EIGHT years he had been in ANBU!


“Genma. You’re close with Kakashi. You were his friend, right?”
“Well… friend is a little too strong of a word. I was no more important to him than Gai, who was his rival – or Asuma, who was his drinking buddy and butt of his jokes.”
“And what were you to Kakashi?”
“I don’t know. But we are connected through knowledge…”


Lightning’s Howl raised his voice in the falling dusk – and the glory of the Hatake was revealed. The dying sun was suddenly drowned in flaring white chakra.


For a moment, he thought that Kakashi would be goo at the bottom of the lizard’s foot – but the force of explosive chakra broke outwards – blasting trees, rocks and reptile away.


His hair stood on end. His eyes were slitted and steel grey. His teeth were bared in a growl and across his cheeks lay stripes – three long grey ones on either side.


“Oh.”
“I’m sorry that I can’t say. But… I do care what happened to him. So I went to check it out.”
“I understand if you can’t talk about him in the present – nobody seems to have a clue about that – but how you met him might even be important.”


Genma smiled sadly at that thought.


A kid he had bumped into when he was six – Kakashi-kun had been three. Genma sniffed. It was the weird kid they all laughed at. For a moment, they sized each other up and then, Genma smiled. That was the immediate bonding in mischief. Unfortunately, Shiranui-san and Sakumo-san had to tear the two brats apart in the end.


“We’re okay!” Genma had laughed, massaging a massive bump on his head.
“We’re just playing!” Kakashi had grinned around a split lip.


But time parted them, Kakashi went ahead everybody into the Academy and wasn’t too social after the death of his father.


And then, there I was - just a new Jounin on a mission gone wrong. ANBU came for full retrieval. And I recognized the shock of white hair on what looked to be a young teen. Kakashi had only been sixteen years old, I found out years later. Then, he had been a killing machine – now… he’s probably not much different.


“Genma? Genma?” Naruto prodded the still Jounin.
“Oh! Sorry! Just thinking.”
“Well?”
“The past doesn’t matter – much. He’s gone through changes – but, the way he is now isn’t really different from the past. No. The past can wait – I got something for you. Top secret. Tell only Sakura and Sasuke. You got it?”
“Sure, sure!”
“No one else?”
“I promise!”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m sure! I haven’t even got a koibito like you do! Nobody to gossip with!”
“Okay. Here.”


Genma, glancing around, placed a small scroll in front of Naruto.


Naruto stared at it.
“WHHHAATTT!!! Another file??? GEEZZZ!!”
“SHHHH!!!!!!! This is important! And VERY, VERY classified! If you’re caught with this… you’re dead. ANBU stuff!” Genma ended in a whisper.
“Oh.”


Carefully opening the scroll, Naruto looked down and began to read.


It was a complex infiltration with three operatives. One being Kakashi.


He couldn’t understand everything – but it seemed as if…


“It had gone wrong.”
“Terribly wrong.”“This happened… a year or so ago?”
“Yeah.”
Even Genma looked frighteningly serious.


“I see…”


Naruto sorted out the words, trying to piece together what happened. It hadn’t been written by Kakashi – some other guy… Yukio….


Operative captured. Disappeared for a month. ANBU team sent out to search and destroy if necessary. Operative recovered. Evidence of heavy physical and sexual assault. No estimate for mental trauma. Medical file attached.


Injuries: Broken right arm – in three places. Broken left hand – two places. Abrasions over body. Multiple bruising. Concussion. Rectal and internal hemorrhaging. First and second degree burns. Subject is catatonic.


“Sakura would understand this better,” he muttered. “I don’t understand.”
“Perhaps it is better that you don’t.”
“And what do they mean by – sexual assault – exactly?”
“There are terms down below… I think…”


Lacerations across torso.
Evidence of chemical burning on skin, soap in the stomach, electric shock.
Impalement.
Heavy bruising –


His eyes fell on a word and then slid sideways in disgust and fell on the next word – penetration.


Naruto turned away, horrified and sick to his stomach.
“I don’t think –“
“Yeah.”
“He’s done this before?”
“Not often,” Genma said carefully. “But more than he ought to be… It took him about two months to recover from that one. I don’t think he was the same after that. Especially since this whole fiasco started with Kakashi having to kill a traitorous teammate.”
“Damn.”
“Yeah.”
“ ;Gai was right. Iruka was right. So was Asuma.”
“What did they say?”
“That it would be better if he were dead.”
“I hope you don’t actually believe that.”
“I don’t know what to believe.”


With that, Naruto left the inn.


“You think that was too much for him?” asked Genma.
“I don’t know,” a soft husky voice said, behind him – from the adjoining booth. “We’ll just have to see. But it’s for Kakashi’s best.”“Hn. Let’s hope it works out, Ibiki. Or else…”
“There is no other option.”


There was a pause.


“Why are you doing this?”
“Because…” Ibiki paused, unsure.


A young ANBU with dark eyes full of secrets – and deep down – pain. His broken body a couple of years back, lying still – looking vulnerable and small on a bed in a silent, windowless ANBU hospital room.


“He’s given so much – this is our gratitude.”


Naruto found himself at the Memorial before he knew what he was doing. Looking up in the dim light, he could just make out a dark uniformed ANBU. Suddenly he remembered the shinobi he had seen at the Ramen Shop. But this one was different – this one looked like hell.


His arm had a tourniquet around it and a rather dirty bandage. The clothes were torn – and from the tense way he stood – it seemed as if he were nursing other injuries. Everything was muddy and bloody.


The dark side of ANBU.


And then, the ANBU turned – and froze.
Naruto just stood there, jaw dropped open, gaping like a goldfish.


He noted – as if from a distance – that there was no bone-white mask covering the face. The face of the Hound hung at his hip.


No mask.


That’s why – that’s why I know – why I see.


The mud and blood didn’t disguise the rather greasy, matted hair, the black mask and two differently colored eyes – one red, one black with fatigue.


“Kakashi-“
Naruto’s voice broke the spell and without another word, the operative – no, his sensei – was it even his sensei anymore? – jumped away into the trees.


Naruto didn’t know what to think. Gathering his chakra to his feet, he was about to follow his sensei – he could detect the weak, white faint blur of chakra, when fingers on his elbow stopped him.


“Neji! Let me go!” He snapped, trying to pull away as he realized who it was.
“Forget it,” the older Jounin said calmly. “Forget him for now. You can’t help him like this.”
Naruto subsided, his eyes full of uncertainty.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Then don’t blunder in when you have no battle plan.”
“What are you doing here?”
“A visit to remember a second cousin.”
“Ah.”
“And you?”
“I – I – I came here to think. Being here – seems to calm me.”
“I know what you mean.”
“You’ve got times when you need to think too?”
“All the time,” Neji said grimly. “Today, I met Sasuke… and what he said… what he’s doing – it made me realize that the bonds of team are deep. More deep than one can fathom.”
“Team,” sighed Naruto, obviously downcast. “Do you think we are a team?”
“Of course.”
“Are you sure?”“How could you not be?”
“Well… people seem to think that Kakashi-sensei is somehow – not with us anymore. As if he were a different person. No. That’s not it. They seem to think we never WERE a team. I thought we were. Did you see him? He doesn’t even respond… Was I wrong?”
“What does your heart tell you?”
“That we were.”
“Only you know the truth of the matter. And seriously, hindsight is always 20/20.”
“Huh?”
“Tch. Don’t be an idiot. It means, looking at the past, it’s always obvious. But you know… people who say, ‘He wasn’t a good sensei’ or things like that, are only trying to give ideas as to why things happened the way they did. They’re scared – so they blame it on people or circumstances or actions. Like I did.”
“You did?”
“Of course. When I was angry at everybody, I was really just scared about a future I thought I couldn’t control. I needed to realize that I had gotten bitter and stuck in a rut. But you taught me that you can change everything – as long as you care enough. Love enough. Fight enough.”
“Neji! You’re so cool!”
“No. It’s you, Naruto. You shouldn’t give up faith, just because some people have labeled your sensei as mistake. Besides. Everybody makes mistakes. It’s a given. Deal with it and move on.”
“Wow. You’ve been thinking about this a lot.”
“Well… Sasuke’s visit – brought up memories of the Chuunin exam. I couldn’t help but wonder if we would have gone all out for each other back then – like you guys did. And you don’t know how tough Kakashi-sensei got with Iruka in order to get you guys in the Exam to start with.”
“Yeah. I heard they fought in public. But Kaka-sensei won. He always does.”
“Then you can do it,” Neji paused. “Are you done here?”
“I guess.”
“Then come with me to drop by the Club. I could swear Hinata and Hanabi and the rest of the gang were going to be hanging there tonight.”
“Really?” Naruto grinned. “Sure thing! Let’s go! What are we waiting for? We don’t want Hinata to wait.”


Following the blonde, Neji smirked.


Hinata, eh? Does he even realize that Hinata is still waiting for him? Waiting for him to come to his senses and realize what he holds in his heart – what her heart holds for him?


I’ll take your part


It was around eight (after the shopping trip, where he ended up with groceries as well and then a dinner) that Sasuke headed out to his self-appointed mission. Taking a back route, Sasuke surreptitiously hopped up onto the Hatake residence wall – and found his way through the garden to the Shrine in the middle.


He stopped, confused. The ground had been hastily cleared away, the ivy pulled off. And then, he stiffened. Mixed in with the fragrance of flowers, there hung the smell of fresh blood. New prints of boots also showed up in the mud – on top of his older ones from earlier in the day.


Somebody’s been here.


Blood.


Somebody’s injured.


Whipping around, Sasuke scanned the large garden, the broken shed and the empty training grounds. Nothing.


Nobody. But still…


Concentrating silently, Sasuke extended his senses to include the house.


Somebody’s been here to clear the Shrine. It’s small – which means they could have cleaned it under twenty minutes… they could still be here.


Ah…


He found a faint chakra signature on the roof of the house. Sasuke glanced up – but not seeing anything, charged chakra to his feet and jumped to the edge. Carefully creeping forward, he attempted to look as non-offensive as possible.


Sure enough, standing there, poised to flee – tall and silent – Kakashi-sensei in full ANBU regalia. Kakashi-sensei – looking as though he’d just been involved in a brawl.


More like a mission gone wrong.


Watching his sensei carefully, Sasuke moved forward. ANBU were dangerous but Sasuke had grown a lot since his early Genin years – and it looked as if Kakashi was badly injured. The ANBU jumped at the sound of Sasuke’s sandals grating on the roof tiles.


Okay. He’s twitchy. Nervous. Scared. Upset. Why? How bad was his mission? How injured is he? What do I say?


“Kakashi-sensei,” he whispered in as soft of a voice as he knew how.


Bad move.


Before he knew it, the grey-haired shinobi had jumped back, fallen off the roof awkwardly to his feet, coughing wetly.


He’s bleeding internally. Fuck. Where’s Sakura when you need her? Touching him right now is NOT an option, I guess.


Without moving, Sasuke watched Kakashi jump away into the obscuring night.


There’s nothing I can do. Nothing now that I can do, is there?


Then he turned back to his satchel. Pulling out three candles, he lit them carefully with the match and watched the incense disappear into the night – mingling with the scent of the flowers.


Kakashi-sensei. I’ll remember for you.