Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Hidden Villages ❯ The Bad Joke of Life part 2 ( Chapter 18 )

“Sometimes in a battle there are no winners or losers; only soldiers and corpses.” –Mayusaki Saito, the second Inukage of Paradiseo


The Bad Joke of Life part 2: Welcome to Paradiseo


“Juubei was my mentor, he merely gave me the tools but he never said how to hold them.” Raisaku smiled as he walked down the Konoha hospital hallway, Tsunade’s assistant right next to him. He couldn’t for the life of him remember her name, and at the moment it really didn’t matter; there were people in dire need of medical attention. “Juubei was a monster, his research became nothing short of torture near the end.”

“And this has what to do with treating these wounds?” Shizune barked nervously at Raisaku; he was tall and of a decent build, but he looked like a raving lunatic. His hair was pulled back but he let the bangs on the right side of his face hang loose for reasons that only made sense to him and people who wrapped tin foil around their heads so aliens wouldn’t melt their brains. He wore what looked to be classic cowboy boots, complete with motherfucking spurs and his outfit looked like a gray sweater had sex with a wetsuit and he decided it looked cool so he wore it with a pair of leather chaps. He also wore costume make-up that made him look like a complete Orochimaru wannabe with too much green lipstick.

“Well, you see Juubei’s wires are special and they cut in a special way.” Raisaku put on a pair of surgical gloves as he spoke, “If you don’t know how he cuts it’s impossible to seal the wound properly and you’ll get lots of nasty infections for months afterwards. You have to realize his wires are comprised of his flesh and as such are nasty and extremely disease ridden so the patient must have a battery of antibiotics, vaccines and the wounds must be cleaned thoroughly as quickly as possible. I do mean quickly, they’re basically being sliced and diced with tightly woven flesh leaking puss and old blood.”


“Who was that man?” Tsunade asked impatiently, “Saito, who was that man who broke my fist with his face and shrugged off a Rasengan?”

“His name is Juubei Kentoko, the Jackal; he’s the ultimate hybrid of genius and insanity and not to mention one of the best ninja ever produced by Paradiseo.” Saito looked dully at the bandaged Hokage sitting behind her desk, seething with rage as she looked at the cost of the damage caused by the Akatsuki’s attack.

“Kentoko?” Tsunade frowned, “Isn’t that the last name of the orphan Momoko?”

“Yes, Juubei is her father.” Saito calmly said, “Momoko Kentoko is the biological daughter of Juubei Kentoko and his wife, Yuki Kentoko.”

“You son of a bitch!” Tsunade howled at the younger Kage, “You said her parents were dead! You lied to me, you rat!”

“Make no mistake lady Tsunade,” Saito sighed, “that thing is not the Juubei Kentoko I served with, that thing is nothing more than a pathetic shadow of the true Juubei Kentoko.”

“What?” Tsunade’s eyes widened. Her mind was racing as confused thoughts raced through her mind. What matter of nightmare world is the ‘Paradiseo’? They have a fucking werefox, a regular doctor Frankenstein who is his own damned monster, a phoenix, a lunatic researcher, a girl who can partially turn herself into a cat and a guy who uses his chakra as a shield! What in the name of God caused such monsters to be all born in one country; I’m certainly glad they’re my allies.

“Juubei Kentoko is dead, that beast you punched is dead.” Saito continued with his normal calm voice, “Medically speaking it has no heart beat, no breathing, no brain function and no blood flow. He doesn’t eat, sleep or feel pain at all either; Juubei is dead in every sense of the word. The creature you saw was none other than the twisted shadow, the forbidden fruit of a genius’s mind; he tore out his humanity and became undead.”

“I’m not sure I follow you,” Tsunade sat down, “it doesn’t seem possible, how could he be both dead and alive at once. How can he achieve this state of being?”

“No one is entirely sure how he did it but from what we learned at his laboratory after we raided it…” Saito slumped into a chair, “he perfected his already outstanding medical jutsu and is somehow sustaining his life with his chakra. The steps he took to get there should’ve been enough to stop any rational man from continuing with the research.”

“What?” Tsunade could only mumble dully as Saito tossed an open file onto her desk; it was the complete record of the seizure of Juubei’s laboratory. The images portrayed in the photographs were the stuff of nightmares; people suspended in vats of blood, people with animal limbs, and a woman with the skeleton of a canine instead of her own. Tsunade slammed the file closed as she fought back bile.

“Juubei’s experiments may seem to you to be chaotic and pointless but they all had a specific goal and the information gathered was absolutely valid in Juubei’s final equations for his own devilish transformation.”

“What of the one that the AZIC commander killed?”

“Anasake can explain better,” Saito motioned to Anasake who was standing in the corner of the room, “Take it away.”

“Kenji Akabane, the corpse bird, was a psychopath with an uncontrollable urge to kill. He was maliciously abused in every sense of the word by his family from the word ‘go’ and by his early teen years exhibited the classic signs of a serial killer, like nightly bedwetting. One of his trademarks that he never let go of was his insistent need to leave an origami animal at the scene of his murders, usually on top of the mangled victim’s corpse it was his calling card and ultimately led to his capture many years later because that’s a fucking stupid ass habit. Years later he developed the ‘Origami Death Dance’ series of jutsu and his extraordinary skill landed him the title of Sanin in our village.” Anasake explained as he shook his head, “But he was just a common dumb narcissistic impulse killer, certainly deranged but nothing too dangerous on his own; he actually had little control over his urges and was found by Paradiseo courts to be mentally insane. He wasn’t able to tell right from wrong at the times of his murders and had he stayed on his medication he’d likely have been able to control his violent outbreaks and live almost normally in society but instead he chose the world of madness and basically sacrificed himself to my flames like a moron.”

“Well at least we managed to kill two of their men, one being one of Paradiseo’s Big Three,” Tsunade smiled, trying to see the silver lining on the multi-million ryo bill sitting on her desk, “and we have a better grasp on their abilities.”

“Kisame isn’t dead,” Anasake said from the corner of the room, “what I fought was merely a puppet, a sham. And look at what we lost; Kankuro is still critical, Temari is unconscious and mumbling about ‘Momoko’ and ‘her baby’ or something, Momoko is stuck on bed rest for a week, Kuroudo is practically smashed to pieces; I’ve seen eggs go ten rounds with a hammer come out in better shape than he’s in, Kitty is in a coma, Ryujin has six broken ribs, Naruto is near death, Sakura will be lucky if she’s be able to digest food on her own within the next month, Kazuko is never going to be able to get pregnant and she’ll have a limp the rest of her life, Sasuke is still in surgery with half his guts shredded, Rock Lee is damned lucky he won’t be crippled, Kakashi won’t be able to fight for at least two months, Guy isn’t in much better shape, twelve ANBU died during the fighting, Miho is stuck in bed for two months, Gaara sustained only minor wounds and Lady Tsunade is sitting down at her desk with a broken hand, arm, pride and a massive bill in front of her. We lost, plain and simple.”

“Why you…” Tsunade growled; she was about ready to try and tear Anasake apart until she heard the door open and saw Kuroudo limp his way in, covered in bandages but still smiling. Kuroudo was using a rifle for a crutch, his M1 Garand and Tsunade could see his Luger’s holster on his belt. He had a dark green camouflage trench coat on but it was unbuttoned, overall he looked like he’d been through twelve rounds with a steroid-baby grizzly bear. He also had a pair of circular framed glasses on and for the first time Tsunade noticed his eyes were two different colors; his right eye was a dull brown and the left was a vibrant green.

“Hey,” Anasake chuckled as he pointed to Kuroudo, “you found your glasses finally?”

“Yes,” Kuroudo said cheerfully as he smiled at his friend, “I found them under the sink in my hotel room. But I came in here for a reason; to offer my analysis on the recent battle we were involved in.”

“I think it’s enough to know that they attacked us in response to Koga going insane and blowing their cover,” Tsunade scoffed, “the whole thing got out of hand.”

“You’re asking the wrong questions and looking at the situation wrong,” Kuroudo said as he sat down in another chair in Tsunade’s office. “We lost a lot of men and suffered more wounds then what was expected, however, and this is key- the Akatsuki seemed to have gained nothing from the fight but broken and dead bodies. It has been confirmed that Kakuzu survived his battle against Toku, but we must also realize that overall this battle was pointless for the Akatsuki to start or continue with; it would’ve been much easier, and smarter for them to leave Koga to die.”

“What’s your point?” Tsunade leaned toward the obviously injured and suffering Kuroudo, who grinned much wider at the curiosity of the Hokage.

“My point is that they didn’t just leave Koga to his own devices; they came in full force to back him up in an ultimately pointless and costly battle.” Kuroudo said evenly as he stared into Tsunade’s eyes, “There’s only a few reasons why they’d do that; reason A: Koga is somehow important to them, however it would’ve been smarter to knock his ass out and leave before the battle escalated further. Reason B: they wanted to test our forces against theirs, however, this is again pointless as their forces are Guerilla style militants who rely on ambush tactics to seize their objectives and get out causing the least trouble necessary. Then there’s reason C: They had orders to engage us in an all out brawl to show us their superiority, however, this is basically reason B reworded and the same arguments against it apply. Reason D: they wanted to test how easily they could infiltrate Konoha and seize the two tailed beasts currently inside Konoha but due to their underestimation of Koga’s mental illness and how much control he had over his murderous urges the plan was set off and they were left with no other choice then to attack our forces head-on. And finally reason E: Koga just set off a chain of events that led down a path and the other Akatsuki members followed blindly along underestimating the skill of the forces that came to meet them.”

“Interesting theories,” Tsunade said absently as she scratched her chin, and then she saw Anasake’s eyes light up.

“Oh shit,” Anasake said as he looked at Kuroudo, “Reason F: the attack was a ruse to distract our attention while they carried out another goal; those weren’t all the members of the Akatsuki that came out to meet us in battle, were they?”

“Bingo,” Kuroudo said as a toothy smile spread across his face and everyone else’s eyes widened at the implications, “That’s exactly what I would do if I were to gamble that much of my force on an attack like that.”

“Lady Tsunade, with your permission I have AZIC trap masters who can sweep the village for explosives, I’d like to send them out.” Saito was already out of his seat and preparing a dispatch.

“Do it,” Tsunade looked at Kuroudo, “What else would they do?”

“Do a head count on your citizens and ninja, overlook no one; Juubei might be looking for candidates for more of his research or just plain information gathering.” Kuroudo stood up, “I’m having Momoko, Kazuko, Ryujin, myself and Temari moved to Paradiseo. I’d also recommend the Chunin exam be postponed for a few months and moved to Paradiseo.”

“Temari? Paradiseo?” Tsunade looked at Kuroudo with an air of indignation on her face, “Who the hell are you to boss me around?”

“Lady Tsunade, I back up his advice; its good advice and I would’ve made the same recommendations myself.” Saito said as he finished sending the message, “Paradiseo is a natural fortress, our southern shore is mostly brutal rocks, our northern shore leads only to a massive desert, all of our twenty million citizens are all militia members, our mountain ranges surround all our borders with the other nations and are treacherous to all but those who’ve lived in them their whole lives, our navy is small but strong, our artillery is legendary and we have over five hundred pieces near the capital alone, our winter is the most brutal in all the world and our Regulars are highly trained and battle hardened soldiers well over nine-hundred thousand strong. Paradiseo is a fortress brisling with loaded and bayoneted rifles that calls itself a country, believe me, even Juubei wouldn’t dare risk attacking it especially not after his recent defeat by Kuroudo.”

“Why Temari though?” Tsunade asked coldly, “she’s a Sand ninja so she has no reason to go to Paradiseo instead of her home.”

“That,” Saito said calmly as he looked into Kuroudo’s eyes coldly with that look that a father gives his son after he found out the boy did something wrong and was expecting an explanation for the child’s actions, “is something that Kuroudo needs to clarify for us, because I’m rather curious as to what the reasons could possibly be as well.”

“Temari has plenty reason to go to Paradiseo,” Kuroudo said flatly, “she’s pregnant and I’m the father of her child. Also she’s deeply in love with Momoko, the two are lovers.”

“Oh and here I thought you were gonna make us guess, Kuroudo.” Anasake said as he smiled and shook his head, “Now I’m kind of disappointed.”

“Whatever,” Tsunade said absently to Anasake and then looked to Kuroudo with a wide smirk on her face, “How can you be so sure?”

“Momoko popped her cherry two nights ago and we had a night of nothing but sweaty sex, okay?” Kuroudo said as he stood up, “I fucked her silly and so did Momoko and now she believes she’s carrying a child in her womb so even if you sent her home she’d only try and get to Paradiseo anyway. And since our winter is looking like it might come early this year I’d like to get her squared away and getting ready for it as soon as possible.”

“You said ‘get ready for it’,” Tsunade tilted her head, she was enjoying the obviously uncomfortable conversation but Kuroudo was already heading back out the door, probably back to the hospital to await his transport back home. But Tsunade continued her questioning anyway, “What do you mean by that?”

“In Paradiseo it is common practice for the women to gain weight before winter to help stay warmer,” Anasake said coolly, “some people still do it, some don’t. Kuroudo and Momoko happen to believe in the practice so they’ll probably fatten Temari up pretty good. If anything it’ll give your ninja an advantage in the exam, plus even if you don’t help with this little transit error it’s gonna happen anyway because, my handwriting is real messy!”

“Strange tradition,” Tsunade said absently as she bit her lip. They’re protecting Kuroudo and still trying to keep Temari in the exam; they aren’t going to admit she’s pregnant because it’ll make too many waves in the land of wind. Even when the exam starts no one will question her larger belly because Kuroudo’s going to make sure she puts on a lot of weight. ‘Why does she have such a big belly, is she pregnant?’ answer; ‘No, she’s just a fat girl with a big fat belly.’ On the surface it all looks stupid and odd but it’ll probably work assuming I play along, which I really don’t have much choice about doing. Kuroudo did actually save me and Paradiseo is a much more valuable ally right now then the Sand is. Tsunade watched as the door shut, “Okay, Temari’s little secret doesn’t leave this room we’ll get her to Paradiseo but we’ll need a replacement ‘error’ to go to the Sand Village.”

“Miho, we’ll just send Miho.” Anasake smiled, “Kuroudo’s list left her out so we’ll send her, and Tsunade… Kuroudo is my best friend, we’re drinking and hunting buddies; I crash at his house all the time. You helping him out is you helping me out, it won’t be forgotten anytime soon.”


In an undisclosed location, far from Konoha, Shikamaru Nara woke up. He was bound and gagged with a tarp over his head, but he knew the room he was in was dark and damp; probably underground. He was scared, he didn’t know what was going on and the tarp made it so he couldn’t see.

Shikamaru sat trying to scream for two, long agonizing days wishing for water before he heard a heavy door open and heavy boot steps coming towards him. He knew it was over; he was going to die at the mercy of a madman.

“I’m so terribly sorry, I originally planned to get to you much sooner but you see several other things needed my undivided attention so I do apologize for my lateness.” A deep voice said and the tarp was removed from Shikamaru’s head and he saw that the person who’d captured him was none other than Juubei, “Oh, turn that frown upside down; you should be honored to be my new test subject, Nara-chan.”

“You creep,” Shikamaru scoffed at Juubei. Juubei was wearing a blue button-up dress shirt underneath a white lab-coat; he still wore his surgical mask, beige dress pants, butcher’s apron and his boots. To Shikamaru, Juubei looked like a madman and his one visible eye seemed to be a moon in a strange nightmare. Shikamaru weakly choked out, “who are you?”

“I am Juubei Kentoko, the Jackal.” Juubei said proudly as he walked over to a table and picked up a syringe filled with a strange green liquid and a clipboard. The lab that Shikamaru was in was filled with large equipment, beakers, large animal cages and strange large devices that looked to be torture devices. The room was obviously a basement and a poorly lit one at that and since a lot of the equipment was rusted the overall effect was one of a nightmarish looking dungeon. Juubei laughed as he turned back to Shikamaru, “I’m the foremost medical researcher in the world; my work is legendary, unfortunately I’ve been lacking good test subjects lately; you’re a smart boy aren’t you?”

“Yeah, what of it?” Shikamaru frowned; he probably wasn’t going home anytime soon.

“I want to play a game,” Juubei laughed, “and you’re the game piece.”


Temari woke up confused, she was in a hospital bed that was very warm and comfortable but it felt as if it were on a ship because it kept pitching back and forth. Temari felt much better than she did during the battle, but she could only guess how much time had passed since then.

“Hi,” Momoko walked over to Temari’s bed and gently stroked the girl’s blonde hair. Momoko had some bandages wrapped around her ribs and she was smiling as she spoke to Temari, “You’re coming to Paradiseo with Kuroudo and me. We’re gonna get you nice and ready for the winter too; as a forewarning you’re gonna have to put on some weight, but don’t worry, it’ll help you out in the long run.”

“What?” Temari said, she was confused and disoriented, and now Momoko was talking about Paradiseo, weight gain and randomly winter. Temari rubbed her eyes, “What’s going on?”

“Oh, well…” Momoko said soothingly as she stroked Temari’s face gently, “I’ll explain; you’re on the transport ship to Paradiseo; the last one heading there before our early winter sets in and makes the sea too dangerous to sail on. You see, sometimes our winter will hit even as early as May, and it’s only hitting a few weeks after May this year. Now since you’re going to be stuck with us for several months, Kuroudo ‘volunteered’ our house as a ‘temporary’ place for you to stay. Now to help keep warm, because believe me it gets real cold during the winter, I’ve volunteered to make sure you get nice and fat.”

“What!?” Temari’s eyes widened as the realization set in; Momoko was going to make her fat. “Why, I mean how come I have to get fat?”

“Oh, I’m gonna be stuffing myself so I’ll be ballooning up here soon too.” Momoko said with a smile, “I’m actually usually a pretty chunky girl, but since the war keeping my weight up has been difficult.”

“You, like being fat?” Temari said with a shock to her voice as she watched as Momoko blushed slightly and flopped herself onto the bed, snuggling up next to Temari with a playful look in her eyes. Temari blushed and said, “I’ve never met a girl, let alone a ninja who liked being… fat.”

“I also like chubby girls too, I find fat on girls to be very attractive.” Momoko said as she placed her head on Temari’s shoulder. She yawned big and wrapped her arms around Temari’s waist; she looked tired but kept speaking to Temari. “I don’t know why but when Kirara called you fat I began to think of you as a girl who could get fat and sexy for me. I’ve also gathered from your reactions that the only reason you had sex with Kuroudo is because I got you so riled-up that you couldn’t resist; Temari, you’re a lesbian.”

“So, what of it?” Temari blushed and pulled away slightly from Momoko. It was true; as of late Temari found that she didn’t find anything sexually appealing about men anymore.

“I’m sorry,” Momoko said as she kissed Temari, “I shouldn’t have pulled you into that bed, had I just stayed asleep you wouldn’t be pregnant and being forced towards a world you won’t understand. So please, just bear with me and I’ll try my best to make it up to you. You’re just gonna have to do everything I say for a little while, okay?”

“What’s so bad about Paradiseo?” Temari smiled, “I mean the name is ‘Paradise’ isn’t it?”

“That’s a cruel joke,” Momoko said coldly, she had a distant look in her eyes; “Paradiseo is a land of nightmares, just do what I say and you’ll have a chance of surviving. First off; don’t wear your hair up, there’s still Kokaine snipers you tend to pick people off who wear their hair up; also grow it out, believe me they don’t go for girls who look like house-wives. Also, get fat and fast; the winter is very cold so you’ll want the extra layers and the more domestic you look the less likely you are to get shot.”

“Sounds like being pregnant is going to help me not die in Paradiseo,” Temari said calmly as she stroked Momoko’s head lovingly; she truly had fallen in love completely with Momoko, the girl was everything and more.

“Yeah as soon as you start to show it will but that won’t help keep you in the exams.” Momoko said as she smiled, the mood was lightening, “That’s why you can’t lose weight after winter; if the exam proctors see that you’re pregnant they’ll toss you out right quick but they won’t if you’re fat and if you’re fat with a big belly, how’s that weird?”

“Hey at least I picked a great guy to knock me up!” Temari chuckled, “I mean; Kuroudo is almost invincible isn’t he?”

“No, he’s far from it.” Momoko said sternly as she looked into Temari’s eyes. “He might act like those wounds and the pain doesn’t affect him but they do; he just soldiers through it and agonizes in silence. I know the truth, I’ve seen how truly wounded and destroyed that body of his has become; I’ve heard his true screams. He’s also nowhere near perfect as a warrior; he is unbelievably weak to genjutsu and lightning based attacks and his moves may be big and powerful but they take a terrible toll on his body themselves. Kuroudo doesn’t fight and survive, he kills himself to fight so others may survive; he doesn’t defend himself because everything he’s ever wanted to protect was outside of himself. ‘In cutting my foes to save my friends I feel as if a blade is being thrust ever deeper into my own heart.’ Kuroudo has a short life ahead of him; a difficult and violent one at that, so long as he can swing his sword he’ll fight with the same mad determination as a rabid wolf; I merely am content to stand by his side for as long as I can to bear witness to his life. I owe him that, the world owes him all the happiness he can milk from it before his body finally gives out beneath him and he returns to the dust that spawns us all.”

“He’s…” Temari gulped, “dying?”

“Little by little he slowly chips away at his own life using that eye and his true 100%.” Momoko buried her face into Temari’s chest, “I’ve forbade him from using his true power unless he is left with no other choice; especially his only genjutsu technique… he’s used it once before and now he wears glasses but his opponent was destroyed from his mind outward. He is never allowed to unleash that technique unless the opponent truly deserves it. He only knows how to fight forward and struggle through his pain, to him retreat is unthinkable and he’ll soldier on through his pain and agony simply because he can. Kuroudo at his core is a perfect killing machine more likened to a Mako Shark than a human; he just keeps killing, and killing until the bodies bury him.”

“A shark?” Temari asked as she placed her left hand on Momoko’s hip and she snuggled closer in response, lightly purring. “Why a shark, I thought you all called him the Fox?”

“He is the Fox; I liken him to the Mako because of his speed and unbelievable killing power.” Momoko said as she smiled again and Temari gently stroked along her side. “In nature, the Mako will run down and kill swordfish and marlin, but they have an animalistic intelligence. Mako, like all sharks are built only to kill, swim and fuck; pretty much like Kuroudo. Did you know that the shark tooth on Kuroudo’s dog tag chain is one I pulled out of the jaw of the Mako he caught last summer? Big Mako too, it weighed six hundred pounds and he got it mounted on our wall.”

“I didn’t even notice his dog tags,” Temari chuckled at Momoko who also laughed slightly.

“Now that I think about it I don’t think he wore them the last couple of days,” Momoko said as she adjusted herself so she was more comfortable on the small bed as she continued to talk to Temari. “He wears three dog tags; his two new ID tags and one of his older ones, it has a bullet hole through it from an enemy sniper’s .303 Enfield rifle; Siege of Oh-Ka Castle.”

“.303, the Mauser uses a .323 right?” Temari asked; she’d gotten quite interested in the new guns as soon as they hit the Sand Village. They got a ton of surplus Paradiseo Mausers just like Konoha had, but the .303 Enfield SMLE was the service rifle used by the Hidden Darkness. The Enfield and Mauser stacked next to each other as far as Temari knew; the Mauser was at a disadvantage to the Enfield, at least on paper.

“I think about, yeah.” Momoko smiled, “I’m not much for rifles; magnum revolver and a good scatter gun are more my choosing and I just got informed my request was finally approved for my new Winchester 1887, be a big improvement over my old Whitney side-by-side. Plus the Whitney got blown up during the battle with Pain, so I need a new shotgun anyway.”

“I want to get a gun,” Temari said playfully and Momoko chuckled slightly. Temari smiled and asked, “Where is Kuroudo anyway?”

“Oh, he’s probably sitting on the deck drawing some stuff or just taking a nap somewhere.”


Meanwhile in Purgatoire; the Hidden Darkness Village’s capital city in the East castle’s keep a man sat holding a bullet in a high chair that looked like an Emperor’s. This man was tall with shoulder length black hair and dark brown eyes; he wore a simple ninja outfit with an unzipped vest and his headband was tied around his head. This man was one of the four elite ANBU warriors of the Darkness; he was Seiryuu, the Azure Dragon of the East. Seiryuu was the commander of the Su-shin elite ANBU; the Darkness’s best warriors and answered to only Jangchi Akuramma and his older brother, the Akukage. Seiryuu was also second in command of the Castle ANBU elite unit which consisted of the village elite, each one tailored to be more than a match for an elite ninja in Paradiseo and each of the Su-Shin and Castle ANBU have one certain Paradiseo ninja to kill on their ‘objectives’ if and when the Darkness invades the light.

Seiryuu was reading the after action report written by his subordinate, Doruma Tora aka Toku Akuramma’s teammate who wore the headband over his eyes (see chapter 1, his name was not mentioned). Seiryuu was impressed with Doruma, despite being blind the boy could write very detailed reports and he was an excellent spear fighter; as he’d had better have been because Seiryuu had trained the boy himself. Seiryuu was disinterested in anything else but the parts dealing with Kuroudo, Seiryuu was, in a way Kuroudo’s ultimate opponent as Kuroudo was the ninja Seiryuu had to knock off when the attack on Paradiseo comes. Seiryuu was an avid genjutsu user, having been born with the Sharingan it was to be expected and since Seiryuu specialized in lightning based, long range attacks he was more than a match for the Fox. On paper that is… Seiryuu’s mind snapped back at him just as Suzaku had done at their last meeting.

“We’ll see what happens won’t we?” Seiryuu held his bullet up to the dull light of his dark chamber. The bullet was the new one he’d designed, a 5.56x45mm for the rifle he designed after seeing some of the prototype Paradiseo rifles recovered from the siege of Oh-Ka castle by his special troops, it was a costly operation that had cost the Darkness its best sniper; Tao Wei Zheng, he’d deserved a better death than being snuck up on by Kazuko, a communications technician and shot to death with a Peacemaker revolver. But do to his sacrifice and that of five thousand other specially trained soldiers, they had gotten their hands on Kuroudo’s prototype assault rifle, called an StG-44 and since seeing and improving it Seiryuu had designed a weapon he called the AR-15 or as the fighting variation was called by the military, the XM16E1 which used the new round he designed; the 5.56 which he believed would be far superior to Kuroudo’s new, finished product; the AK47.

Seiryuu smiled, his day would come and he’d be sure to rape as many Paradiseo women as possible, assuming he could find some who weren’t fat. He hated fat girls and because of the stupid traditions in Paradiseo most of their babes ballooned up and just stayed that way. But no matter what size she was, Seiryuu was going to rape Momoko Kentoko and any other girl Kuroudo has any sort of relationship with. Temari was definitely on the top of his list to horribly mistreat; in Doruma’s report it stated that she was in fact pregnant according to Menos.

“I’ve never raped a pregnant lady before,” Seiryuu said absently, searching through his rather large memories of all the women he’d raped over the years. Seiryuu had, much to his pleasure, an eidetic aka photographic memory so he could recall almost every moment of his life in perfect detail and hence he could recall the faces of all forty-six women he’d raped and impregnated, sixty-four women he’d raped and hadn’t impregnated and all one-hundred and seventeen women he’d raped and killed in his forty-four years of life. Upon realizing this fact Seiryuu smiled and said to himself, “I’ll rape Temari and pull her unborn child out of her womb with a coat hanger, and maybe I’ll make Momoko lick up the mess after I rape her. I can’t think of a better way to show Kuroudo how much I truly care for what he has that I don’t, foolish bastard. I’ll rape his lovers in his own blood and leave them, defeated and violated by his corpse. I can’t wait for our war to come… I’ll be waiting to have some fun; please don’t disappoint me, Kuroudo.”

To be continued…

-Kazuki Ferret