Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ I Caught Myself A Ninja ❯ Situations ( Chapter 2 )

AN: Mitsugi Usagi is 22. Sasuke's 20. She has dark green eyes, dark green hair, and isn't a ninja. yay

RECAP: “You bastard!”

He merely swatted the lamp to the side with it breaking.

“Why are you looking at me like that? Did I take away your virginity or something?” I smirked when he looked away.

I hit the sweet spot. I'm a little surprised with him though. Don't guys usually lose it like in their teens, the peak of their hormones? Pretty strange if you ask me.

“But hey that's okay man. At least you did it with a hot chick right? We can do it again if you want to make sure,” I joked but he really is or I mean was a virgin. Can't wait to tell lazy man that I deflowered a man!

“We better figure out what happened,” he said seriously.

“Okay, I know I went out drinking.”

“I went to a bar and drunk some shots,” Uchiha the virgin said.

“Did you pick me up or did I do it?”

“You tried to pick me up,” he answered.

“Hmm, right. Anything else?”

“Just a bunch of scattered images.”

I nodded, “Me too. What are yours?”

“A leg coming up and then there's a blur. I see a wall, my hand, and I think your hair,” he looked at me.

“Well I guess I tried to knock you out but then you blocked my kicks. My legs hurt like hell. I can't stand up,” I laughed showing him my legs that I finally took a good look at them. They were all bruised up.

“Give me your arm,” I insisted.

He walked over and I took his arm to lie on one of the bruises. Exact fit. There was also a strong handprint that was also his at my ankle.

“Guess you resisted my attempts to take your money then,” I deducted.

“My money? I used it all last night.”

“You probably bought me some drinks then. Come on virgin princess,” he jerked his head at me.

“What did you say?” he glared at me.

“We gotta go to the pharmacy,” I said determinedly.

“`We'?”

“Yes, fucking `we' I know there ain't no mouse in my pocket,” his idiocy, you could tell by my cussing, was pissing me off again.

“Why?”

Again with the questions.

“So WE could get a pregnancy test. I don't want to have to come here four months later with swelling ankles and a bump on my stomach. We're going.”

He thought about it like it was an option! Grr! Prissy little…

“You mean you want children now?” I groaned, “Geez. We're at the peak of our lives and you want to blast it all away with kids. Hell no this isn't going to happen. Get married to someone else. I'm not going to have some illegitimate kid on my hands here. You wouldn't either, what with your damn, pride reputation clan shit. Not very proper for you, Uchiha.”

His mouth twitched. I got him. See? All it takes is a little threat here and there and you'll get what you want. He considered my words a moment and started putting on his ninja shoes. Thank you God for this small-minded fool! He looked back at me with a `Are you coming or what?' look.

“Uchiha my legs aren't moving or don't want to work. See?” I tried to push myself to stand and crumpled to the floor.

I was still lying on the floor, “Uh some help here?”

He regained some brain cells and put me back on the bed. He continued to stare at me. Wasn't too bright in the can, was he?

“Come on virgin slave. Carry me to the store."

"Again, why?" he didn't like slave I guess. Maybe virgin princess was better.

“You have three options mister. One, give me a piggyback ride. Two, carry me bridal style, which I know you won't choose. Or three, I stay here and invade your privacy some more until my legs get better.” And there weren't any other options.

"Maybe I'm that good after all," he rubbed his chin thoughtfully ignoring the options he had to choose. Smuggly. Damn, I wish my legs were working now.

"Virgins can't be great the first time. It's a fact of life. Unless you practice with a blow-me doll or with an expert non-virgin then you can't be good," I know what I was saying. I read about these things, "Hmm, maybe there was a third person."

He used his brain for once and squatted down in front of me. I took hold of his shoulders and slid forward. He started pulling my legs forward. A maddening pain entered.

“Ow ow,” I cringed, “Slowly please. My legs really hurt,” I choked up and squeezed his shoulders.

I felt him turn his head back, “Hospital?”

“No,” I counted to ten in my head, “I'm cool. Pharmacy...test, thenI'll think about Dr. Feel Up.”

I didn't need any shoes at the moment since he was going to carry me all the way there. Though I don't like people going barefoot outside so I took a pair of socks out of his drawers. I felt like a child. This picked up my spirits even though the pain was still ringing when my legs moved even an inch.

“Uchiha I think we're going to get along just fine,” I patted his shoulder.

He answered with an `hn.'

His house was a freaking mansion when I looked back on the outside. A rich perverted ninja, must be a good sign for me.

“So…we already introduced ourselves. What's with your name? Uchiha… Sounds like something you say when you attack someone. 'Uuu! Chee-yah!'"

He shifted my legs around making the pain triple. I nearly bit his shoulder from the pain. I should've bit him.

"And I was going to let you off for ripping my clothes but I hope you get diarrhea. Bastard," I cringed.

“Uchiha some ugly pink chick is following us,” I looked behind me.

He turned around. Two more popped up beside her. I heard him sigh.

“Sasuke-kun! Who is that girl?” the pink one pointed at me. Her voicewas annoying...so was her face.

Sasuke was taking longer than three seconds to answer. I answered for the virgin.

"We're going to buy some drinks and get ourselves drunk. Why do you ask?" I saw the three chicks with their mouths open.

"W-what! Sasuke-kun! Why would you do it with her?" the blonde one glared at me, "When I'm open and free."

"Apparently so are her legs," hey what can I say, I sometimes think out loud.

Uchiha coughed, think he was trying to cover up his laugh. The plump little red haired girl shouted at me.

"Why are you wearing his clothes! And you have no shoes either! Sasuke-kun you can do better than that! Come with us and we can show you a better time than her," the red head is clearly jumping to conclusions whatever she may be thinking. What a dirty little girl.

The other two nodded.

“Someone threw up on me and they stole my wheelchair away. Sasuke's bringing me to the store so I can buy some clothes. That's why I'm borrowing his for awhile,” well it was almost the truth. Butdidn't their attitudes turn a 180.

Now they looked uncomfortable. That's great just what I wanted! Uchiha just turned around. He barely said anything.

“Sasuke-kun! We'll help you!” the pink one offered.

“Leave us alone, Sakura,” he said coldly.

Did I hear correct? He said `us' ooh must not like her. We left them in our dust.

I looked back, “You know that crazed woman?”

“She's my teammate.”

“I feel your pain Uchiha. And your welcome.”

"Hn?"

"Well I did help you back there. I mean what would've happened if I told them the truth? They probably would've attacked me like rabid dogs and carried you away so that they could rape you or something. I wouldn't want to get raped by those wierdos."

----

Finally entering the pharmacy, he walked us into the aisle of our destiny. There was a shelf full of pregnancy tests and under that was the condom shelf. Isn't that quite convenient?

“Well doesn't this make you nervous eh?” I tried to lighten up the mood.

I had two tests in mind. Two of my friends took them and it was accurate seeing how I went to the store to buy it for them. `Now or Never' test or the `First Response,' everyone trusted the latter.

I reached out for the pink box but Uchiha grabbed it first. He read the back.

“Only women get pregnant,” I said matter of factly.

“Checking the average of it being exact.”

“It's more exact than the others are,” I took the box out of his hands.

We stood there for a couple more seconds.

“Uchiha…are we going or you need something else?” Ilooked where he was looking, “Uchiha get some condoms too,” I ordered him.

He finally got out of his trance, “What?” and turned his head to me.

“Get some condoms. You should carry one with you just in case something like this happens again. Either that or get it for me just in case I run into another ninja. We can each take half.” I wasn't paying anyways.

He looked back at the different boxes. Like being born again, he had no clue as to what to do. I pointed at the one I would buy sometimes.

Now don't go spreading this around town but I put sex on hold now. I've been focused on my goal and I just want to make it to the top at least once. Sex would just throw off my game. Enough about this I need to help the deflowered man.

He already paid for items. The cashier was blushing, don't know why, and I was hanging all over him first. He was having trouble putting his money back in his pocket what with him also holding my legs. I grabbed the bag for him and he was able to slip in the change.

A summer breeze swept through once he stepped outside. I shivered and lied my head on his shoulder.

“Uchiha isn't a cold person after all," I rubbed my cheek against his neck.

Just what I expected he froze in his place.

"What's the matter now Uchiha? Never been touched?" I whispered in his ear.

He shivered. Yes, he's never been touched until now. Oh imagine the possibilties with this one. I pinched his cheek.

"Uchiha you seriously need to get laid again. Keep walking. Burning daylight and the stores are waiting for us!"

Shopping. It's a great experience for a guy. I showed him the way to the lingerie place. He hesitated before putting his foot inside the store.

"Oh what a lovely couple," a lady worker said to us, "Need any help? Anniversary? Birthday? There's many choose for every occaison," and a little too cheery for my tastes so I waved her off.

"So Uchiha. Here's where you're going to have to pay attention. When you have a girlfriend you gotta know her likes and dislikes. Especially in the field of lingerie if you're daring to come back here. Ask what her tastes are, take a quick peek at her body. Small? Medium? Or a double? Things like these are important." He interrupted.

"Why are you telling me this?"

"Just in case you wanna do it," I grinned, "I'm trying to give you some pointers and give myself some good karma at the same time. Ooh, pick those up for me."

He slowly but surely picked up those nice looking undies I've been eyeing for forever. I sighed when I felt the fabric.

"Get this one. Easy to clean, doesn't ride up on you, and form fitting. This is nice. Women like this stuff. If you pick the one that likes to dress up then lace is the best way to go. The tomboy type, then the boys underwear. A funny girl, give her something with cartoons on them," I waved him over to the bras.

"But I can't help you in the bra department though too complicated to explain all in one day. You use my advice, young grasshopper and snag yourself a competent girl!" I laughed.

Shopping and free,completed and under $50. Being treated like princess, minus those chicks, the nails driving in my legs and his attitude, a check off my wishlist. Getting a guy to carry me all day, priceless.

I kept putting him off with the testing until we got to his house. That pink haired girl was at his doorstep.

"Sasuke-kun."

Determined little flamingo wasn't she?

"What do you want?"

"I just wanted to ask if you wanted to have lunch with me," she was looking at me with dagger eyes.

One more enemy on my list, I bet that's what she was thinking.

"I'm busy. Leave."

He walked past her and closed the door in her face. Wow, what a nice guy. Soon he was standing in the bathroom with me sitting on the tub edge. He read the box and glanced at me.Uchiha handed me one.

"And this is the part where you leave and I do my thing."

"But you can't walk," he reminded me how kind of him.

"Damn right I can't. Everything is reachable now get the hell out of here."

He muttered something about women and closed the door behind him. The test was easy. I wrapped it in toilet paper and washed my hands.

I looked at it again for the results.

"FUCK!"

Uchiha opened the door quickly. He almost hit me.

"The results..." he looks pretty pale.

"It...it...god damn it. Pregnant."

I saw him looking at the happy face on the screen. He looked at the side of the box and glared at me.

He was still glaring. You should laugh a little during a stressful situation like this.

Heh he.

"Just kidding! And now we should celebrate our close encounter!" I pushed it into the trash can.

there we go. Time to eat a late night snack. Girl power. R&R