Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ I think I better leave right now ❯ My racing heart, is just the same ( Chapter 3 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. But if anyone wants to get me an early b-day gift...
Title: I think I better leave right now - chapter 3
Author: Purrfectly679 - e-mail purrfectly679@hotmail.com for comments and suggestions. Feedback highly appreciated.
Rating: PG-13, angst, bad language, slight AU. SakuSasu, hint of SasuNaru.
Notes: No spoilers. This is a revised repost.

Previously: Sasuke is still acting impassive. Naruto decides to avoid the happy couple before 'history could repeat itself.'

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The day of the party finally arrived.

Naruto was still sitting at home in a semi-daze when his doorbell rang for the first time. Rather reluctantly, he went to open the door, juggling the idea of faking an illness to miss the upcoming event.

It was Kakashi.

"Yo!" his former sensei chirped happily. A little too happy for 9am Sunday morning.

"What are you doing here?" Naruto groaned weakly, deciding to employ the sickness excuse after all. He grabbed his stomach for extra effect.

"What's wrong with you?" Kakashi inquired, ignoring Naruto's question and looking the blonde boy up and down in a somewhat fatherly fashion.

"I think I'm ill…" Naruto continued weakly, extremely pleased with himself for coming up with such a brilliant plan. He coughed painfully.

"Uh huh… I guess you should get some rest then…" Kakashi's voice dropped down a tone, disappointment evident in his voice. 'Woo hoo my sensei fell for it! That means everyone else will too!' Naruto thought happily to himself.

"Ugh…. Could you please tell Sakura I'm sorry… Ahh… And that I'll make it up to her…" Naruto emphasised the 'ughs' and 'ahhs' for realism.

"You can tell her yourself…. You Baka," came the unsympathetic reply.

"WHAT! I'm ill and you STILL call me a Baka?!" Naruto shouted incredulously, suddenly energetic, blowing his cover without even realising it. Naruto muttered a small 'epp' before covering his mouth with his hands.

Kakashi grinned. "You are a fool. That nine tails fox sealed inside of you has grown stronger. And since you've been able to control it, your two beings have somewhat fused. Your immune system has evolved and is now virtually indestructible. There's no way you can still get ill... Anyways," Kakashi smiled. "I've come to give you this."

Kakashi threw a small brown envelope into Naruto's hands.

"Well… See you there then. Oh… and dress properly. Bye!" Kakashi waved, and disappeared with a puff of smoke.

Naruto sighed, before looking at himself critically, wondering just what the hell the silver-haired jounin was on about when he said 'dress properly...'

He cringed as he noticed a big tear down the front of his boxers.

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Kakashi knew that Naruto was lying to Sakura. He hoped that his early morning visit might somehow change the blonde's mind - make him come to the party - make him realise just how much she really needed him…

After all, the poor girl must be bored witless having Sasuke as a constant companion!

But jokes aside, something definitely wasn't right… Naruto had been acting really strange ever since the 'happy' couple had returned... Fidgety, extra alertness and jumpiness… And he hadn't even been able to smile sincerely since then… Kakashi sighed in frustration. The idiot had probably thought that no one had noticed…

But they… They were friends right? What could have possibly happened between them all? For Naruto to act this way, for Sasuke to act this way…? Well, since Sakura seemed oblivious to the tension, what could've possibly happened between the other two? There had been enough electricity in the air that night to power the village for years to come! Maybe Naruto still had feelings for Sakura, and Sasuke somehow found out? But no, that couldn't be it… Naruto's too straightforward, too easy to read... He could never lie to the one he loved... So there had to be something else... Something else that was great enough to drive the blonde to evading his former companions...

But whatever the was avoiding, he couldn't avoid it forever right?

'Just what are you hiding Naruto-kun?" Kakashi murmured softly to himself. He didn't want to get involved. Not really. In fact, he hated busybodies. But somehow, he felt that this was somewhat important. Important enough for him to go against his values and get involved...

Important enough to become a hypocrite for...

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Naruto stared suspiciously at the small brown envelope held tightly within his hands. If Kakashi gave it to him, then it couldn't be a good thing, right? But it was rude not to accept - especially when said man had come specifically to deliver it...

Sighing a little in curiosity, the blonde ninja of Konoha slowly opened the envelope, only to find a small sheet of paper tucked inside. Naruto carefully slipped the piece of paper out, interested to what Kakashi had delivered and whom it was from. It should be important right? Especially for the lazy jounin to actually turn up at 9am Sunday morning...

'Don't let her down. You'll hurt her more than you think you could.'

It was a note - Kakashi's messy handwriting in black ink. Naruto frowned in confusion. What did this mean? How does he know? What does he know? Does he… know? Naruto's heart fluttered uncertainty in fear. No… he couldn't have found out. The only people that knew about that was him and Sasuke, and he was sure that Sasuke wouldn't have said anything…

And just what did he mean by hurting her? Her as in Sakura right? But Kakashi should've known that he would never hurt the pink-haired girl, no matter what happened...

Naruto felt anger and frustration building within him. Why was his former, emphasising the word former, sensei getting involved anyway? He didn't know anything! He was in no position to judge! When it all went bad, when it all went wrong, he would be the blamed one - not Kakashi, not anyone else... He was the one that would have to live with the guilt and the remorse...

He was the one that would have to live with the hate.

Naruto scrunched up the sheet of paper angrily. How could he possibly not hurt her, if he didn't get out of her life now? How could he hurt her more than he's already… already done…? Oh he'd love to stay in her life, stay with them all, laughing, joking, playing… Did they think that he didn't want that? Did they think that he WANTED to stay away? He would love NOTHING better than to be with them, be with the ones he loved…

Be with them all forever...

But he knew that it couldn't possibly happen. Not with Sasuke there - not with their past and their history... He couldn't risk it - he couldn't risk history repeating itself... Naruto's stomach fluttered uncomfortably and his heart clenched painfully. If only he hadn't been so stupid... If only he hadn't gotten himself involved…

Yet why was everyone making it so hard for him? He was trying his best… Trying his best to detach himself… The process itself was difficult enough, let alone having everyone else discourage him…

He had even considered moving away, moving out of the village away from the happy 'couple.' But where could he go? That was the downside to having no parents - you had absolutely nowhere to go, and no one to go to. Konoha was the only place that he had ever called home. Could he give that up for her? For them? … Oh how he wished he could. He really wished he could. But his heart wouldn't. Maybe he was just too selfish…

And he despised himself for that.

He sighed, feeling the initial anger slowly ebb away leaving nothing but a hollow void of despair. Kakashi didn't know anything. It wasn't his fault - it wasn't his fault everything had to turn out like this... He didn't know the consequences, the end results… The copycat ninja didn't know that the blonde's presence was deadly. It could kill anything, drive anyone away… It had even driven Sasuke the ice bitch away for God's sake!! Kakashi had just acted on impulse, not anything else... It showed that he cared... Naruto should be happy...

He should be happy that someone still cared…

The kitsune glanced at unravelling sheet of paper in his hands. The words jumped out at him… 'Don't let her down. You'll hurt her more than you think you could…'

Yes… Maybe… Maybe he was letting her down now. But it'll all turn out for the best.

It just had to.

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"Hi Sakura-chan!" Ino beamed as she met her ex-rival at the front door to the Uchiha house. "I haven't seen you in ages…" she leapt up to the pink-haired girl and encased her in a tight hug. "You look great!" Ino smiled, as tears pricked her eyes. God she had missed the big forehead girl. Much more than she was willing to admit.,,

Sakura laughed, a true laugh filled with happiness. "Looks like I got the man after all," she whispered smugly, hugging the blonde girl back with just as much passion. Ino hadn't changed a lot. She had grown taller, fairer, and more graceful. But she was still Ino. To Sakura, she'd always be the Ino-pig...

"Hehe… Yes you did. You've won…" Ino drawled, as she released herself from the embrace. "But I have to say… It was only a childhood crush… You know, if you actually open your eyes and look around you, you'd see that there are some people that rate much better than your Uchiha heir…" she added mischievously, eyes glinting to show that she was only teasing.

But it was true. Since her obsession with Sasuke had ended, the blonde haired girl had turned to other people - other people who she hadn't looked at in a certain light before... Sure Shikamaru was lazy, and he got annoyed easily… But he had a good heart. And he could talk about pretty interesting things… Unlike Sasuke. She cringed inwardly, as she imagined spending her whole life with the impassive and unresponsive dark haired boy. Sure he was cute… In fact, he was very very cute, but he probably couldn't hold a conversation if it had come up to him in a bucket with big handles...

Anyway, looks were only skin deep. And they didn't last forever.

"Oh my god, I cant believe you're actually getting married to him!" Ino squealed, rather exaggeratedly. Sure she didn't have feelings for the Uchiha heir anymore, but that didn't mean she wouldn't support her former rival. After all, that's what friends did for each other.

"I know…" Sakura's voice went soft. "I… I always thought that it was too good to be real… Know what I mean? That I might someday wake up and see him gone all over again…" her voiced trailed off, as her expression instantly saddened.

'She's got it bad… After all these years, she still has it bad for him…' Ino thought to herself.

"Hey why get upset?!" the blonde girl became irritated. "It's your engagement party remember! Geez, the fact that there's a ring on your finger means that he can't just run away! And why the hell would he run away from you anyway?" Ino demanded, successfully wringing out a reluctant smile from the pink-haired girl. "Anyways, you going to show me that ring or not? Go ahead and make me more jealous!"

Sakura blushed as Ino winked teasingly, and shyly held out her hand. Today had been the first time that she had worn the ring since they had purchased it from the jewellers. And so what if she had been the one to propose? They were living in a modern society - girls could propose if they had wanted to.

And she had wanted to.

The ring was a small silver band, simple but endearing to her. That was mainly because Sasuke had actually given his opinion on it! She had originally opted for the gold ring with the fancy swirls upon it, but the raven-haired boy had chosen the plain band. "This one's better…" he had murmured. So she had immediately bought the plain, but more expensive band...

She had promised herself to only to wear it from the day they announced their engagement. It was the day where everyone was told, the day that it became official. Then there was no way that Sasuke would run off again. She smiled to herself. After today, she had no reason to ever feel insecure again... It was real... It was really happening....

She didn't have to fear waking up anymore.

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Meanwhile, Naruto had somehow managed to get dressed. His black t-shirt clung to his torso, showing off his toned arms and toned stomach, product of many days training. Naruto grimaced. He hadn't been shopping in ages, and his clothes were getting just a little too uncomfortably tight. He wore light khaki pants, the waistband resting just slightly below his belly button. His seal was still there, but the colouring had become less and less visible - almost fading entirely to the naked eye. Anyway, since everyone now knew who he was, and what he was… There was no longer any need nor desire to hide it...

With a frustrated sigh, the blonde ran his fingers through his messy hair. He needed to get out of the house before anyone else came to find him... He had suffered enough guilt for one day...

His stomach growled.

But before he did that, just one more bowl of ramen…

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Naruto wandered to the edge of Konoha village, to the dense forest that he had frequently trained within. He began his work out furiously, needing to burn away his excess energy, his pent up frustration, and his overwhelming guilt…

"Kage bushin no jutsu!" he yelled, and immediately a shadow clone was produced for him to spar with.

He punched, jumped and kicked to his heart's content, while turbulent thoughts surged frantically through his mind.

'You'll just end up hurting her… Them…'

'She won't hate you if you're out of her life…'

'Everyone will hate you. Sooner or later, everyone will hate you.'

'Stay away! You monster! Stay away from us!'

'Don't talk to him son. You'll ruin your reputation…'

2 hours later, Naruto slumped heavily to the ground, exhausted as his clone finally disappeared with a puff of smoke.

'Don't let her down. You'll hurt her more than you think you could.'

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Sakura looked at her watch. It was already 3pm, and still no sign of Naruto. It was nice seeing everyone again - Ino, Shikamaru, Hinata, Neji, Shino, Kiba… But the gang seemed down, seemed incomplete without the hyperactive blonde. Sasuke was just grunting and 'hmphing' to everyone, which wasn't really all that out of the ordinary. Not really. Anyway, after the experience that they had been through together, it was probably normal for the usually stoic boy to become even more introverted...

Probably.

"Hi…Hi Sa-Sakura… Have… Have you seen N-N-Naruto-kun?" Hinata stuttered, and blushed furiously as she looked at the floor.

The pink-haired girl frowned. Just where was he? He was coming, wasn't he?

"Yo!" Kakashi suddenly appeared out of nowhere, scaring the two girls half to death. "Naruto still not here?" he asked, face still buried in his perverted 'Icha icha paradise' novel.

Sakura gave him a exasperated look. "Just where do you come from?! And why are you always late?!"

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Naruto felt a presence behind him. He immediately sat up, heart beating furiously, wondering who the hell managed to get so close to him without him noticing until now.

"It's only me."

Naruto relaxed, recognising the voice of his former sensei, Kakashi… KAKASHI?! What the hell was HE doing here?!

"How did you find me?" the blonde blurted out, forgetting the fact that he was meant to be hiding the fact that he was hiding...

"You always come here to train or when you're trying to avoid something. So I put two and two together... I didn't become a Jounin for nothing you know…" Kakashi rolled his one eye as he sat down beside the unusually subdued ninja. "So, you gonna tell me why you're here and not there?"

"No," Naruto answered stubbornly. He didn't feel like having company. He wanted to be alone - just wanted to be left alone to think… Was that too much to ask?

Kakashi sighed. "I… Normally I don't like to get involved, you know…" the copycat ninja trailed off, before going completely silent.

A few minutes passed, with the two sitting in companionable silence, bar the sound of the wind and the birds in the trees. When Naruto realised that the older jounin wasn't going to continue, curiosity got the better of him.

"So why are you? Getting involved that is..."

Kakashi held back a grin. So this wasn't completely hopeless. "Because you're acting like a twat."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN I'M ACTING LIKE A TWAT?!?!" Naruto shouted, his fists clenched in defiant outrage. The birds squawked haughtily, before flying away from the direction of the irate blonde. It was hard to believe that only a moment ago, the blonde was on the edge of exhaustion, slumped almost motionless upon the ground…

'His stamina never ceases to amaze me…' Kakashi thought to himself with an amused smile.

"Well then tell me why you're here and not at the party like you're supposed to be… Like you promised?"

Naruto remained silent. He couldn't tell his sensei. He just couldn't. He couldn't let his mask slip... And most importantly he couldn't let the silver-haired man find out about 'the secret'...

The secret reason why Sasuke left...

"What happened Naruto?" Kakashi sighed, extremely wearily. "What happened for you to break promises like that? For you to turn your back on your 'way of the ninja'?"

'Way of the ninja…' Naruto was in shock. He hadn't thought about the situation like that before... Breaking promises was one thing that he never did. Never ever did...

But… But it was all for the best right? Kakashi didn't know the consequences. He didn't know. Sometimes promises had to be broken. To protect the ones he loved, certain sacrifices had to be made…

No matter how much it hurt.

"Do you really think that avoiding them is for the best?" Kakashi's words bit into him slowly and painfully… Naruto couldn't say anything, couldn't even react. But his insides were screaming for his former sensei to stop - he didn't want to hear it, he didn't want to feel the guilt... It was so hard - so hard to convince himself that it was all for the best... Why was Kakashi ruining everything? He didn't want to be hated, not by her, not by them… He couldn't…

He couldn't be hated by them!

"Did you ever think about how they'd feel?" the silver-haired man continued his verbal assault upon the blonde Shinobi. "Did you ever think about how your actions would affect her?" His voice dropped down a tone and became slightly gentler as he realised they were having the desired affect. The kitsune appeared to be cracking under the pressure. Cracking slowly, but cracking nevertheless.

"You don't understand," Naruto's voice was raspy, as if it took a great deal of strength on his behalf to keep it cool, keep it steady.

"Why don't you tell me?" Kakashi reached out a hand and carefully touched Naruto's arm. He didn't want to alarm the boy, but he knew that the blonde probably craved physical contact at that very moment in time. Although he wasn't very good at it, the older man was still determined to try his very best at the art of comforting... After all, a teacher was a teacher for life... It was a responsibility that he couldn't escape...

And it was a responsibility that he didn't want to escape.

"They'll… She'll hate me…" the blonde whispered, eyes lowered, avoiding Kakashi's gaze. Why was he breaking? He promised himself not to break, especially in front of someone he admired, someone he cared about... He had already broken countless promises to himself, why was he going to break another one? Why was he showing his weak side?

...But the older Shinobi's words, those words have started some sort of chemical reaction within the him. It made him feel desperate - made him feel as if he didn't talk, he'd regret it for the rest of his life...

Kakashi patted Naruto on the back awkwardly. He wasn't very good at this, but he was glad that his words were somehow getting through. He made a murmur of acknowledgement, encouraging the kitsune to continue.

"I… If I go now, she… They… They can't hate me…" Naruto's breath hitched, as he desperately tried to keep his tears back.

"Why would they hate you?" Kakashi's voice was soft, soothing… The blonde wanted to trust him... Wanted to tell him everything...

"Everyone hates me…" Naruto whispered, as sharp pain tore at his heart. "She'll… they'll end up hating me… All of them… Like…" Sasuke. Naruto became rigid with shock. He didn't just tell Kakashi about the Uchiha... Did he?

Kakashi felt the boy tense. Although he didn't finish his sentence, the older ninja knew whom the blonde boy was referring to. Uchiha Sasuke... But just what had happened between them two? They were such good friends… Ok maybe not normal friends… More like friends in the dysfunctional sense, to be honest… But friends in their own bizarre way nevertheless…

After all - hadn't Sasuke risked his life to save the blonde on more than one occasion? Surely such a strong bond wouldn't have been broken so easily...

So just what could've happened between them?

"Naruto…" Kakashi's voice was gentle but firm. "Don't you trust them? Your friends…?"

"Of course I do!" Naruto exclaimed, visibly annoyed at being asked such a stupid question. He loved them. He was even willing to give up his own happiness for them.

"Then why do you think that they'll hate you? You haven't even given them the chance… How would you feel if you were in her place? In their place? How would you feel if she just abandoned you, and started to ignore you for no apparent reason?"

Naruto remained silent. God sometimes his former sensei just had to be so infuriatingly right.

"So you want me to go back and tell her that you want nothing to do with her ever again? Just because you think she's gonna hate you, like you think everyone else does?"

"I…" Naruto didn't know what to say. His sensei was right… Wasn't he? Well... He did made sense... He shouldn't prejudge her… There was a chance that she wouldn't hate him, right? She wasn't like the rest of the villagers… She was too special to be like the rest of them…

But… Sasuke… Naruto had thought he was special too. And now the raven-haired boy hated him, just like everyone else did… But maybe he shouldn't judge Sakura on the basis of the Uchiha… Right? Conflicting thoughts ran through the blonde's mind. What was he supposed to do?…

Regrettably, he felt his initial thoughts and promises slowly slip away from him… again.

Kakashi stood up. "So you coming or not?"

Naruto nodded uncertainly. Whether he would admit it or not, the copycat ninja had actually made a lot of sense. He wouldn't let her down. Not again. And he wouldn't hurt her. Ever... She wouldn't hate him if he didn't do anything wrong... So he'll just have to be extra careful and do nothing wrong... He'll be there for her when she needed him. And when she didn't need him, he'd be waiting on the sidelines…

Just in case.

And Sasuke? Well he could just piss off for all he cared. There was no way that history would repeat itself - no way. He wouldn't let it happen. Too much was at stake, too much at risk... Naruto felt his confidence slowly return to him, as he stumbled steadily onto his feet.

"I'm coming," Naruto replied to the grinning jounin. He was coming to fulfill his promise.

Because that was his way of the ninja.

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End of chapter 2

Wahey thanks for the lovely reviews! *grins* and I guess I have Sasuke to thank for most of them o.O;;
So...er... Saskue... dear... A-Are you going to strip like... l-l-like you promised? *nervously twiddles thumbs*
Sasuke: *glares* Go. Away.
(TRANSLATION: I'll only *censored* and *censored* then *double censored* if Naruto *censored* me!)
(Naruto happens to be walking past at that exact moment)
Naruto: *gasp* Sasuke! I would never, ever... Arghhhh... *runs away screaming*

Thanks for reading, and take care x