Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Ice Picks and Hand Grenades ❯ The Path Less Traveled ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: Naruto and all characters are… blah blah blah…

A/N: Comments: Good. Flames: A hockey team (Go Avs).

CHAPTER THREE: The Path Less Traveled

I climb the stairs to my hotel room in a hurry, closing the door sharply behind me. This is why I don’t take initiative. I don’t want to deal with troublesome messes like this. Sure, rejection’s no fun, and once something like this happens nothing is quite the same anymore, but worse than that is cleaning up the aftermath. No. Not now. No more thinking. Just relax. You’re on vacation, Shikamaru. Act like it. Drink some sake and forget about it. That’s what Kiba will probably do. And when we get back to the Leaf, we can keep it to ourselves and blame it on the atmosphere. Everything will be fine.

Dammit, where’d I put my sake? I know I brought some, and I’m sure as hell not going back to the store to buy more…

Why is it that whenever you lose something it’s in the most annoying place? After finally untangling the bottle from a couple of unruly articles of clothing, I unbutton my shirt and head for the balcony. It’s too early to sleep, and I’m too lazy to unpack my clothes beyond the pile dislodged in the search for my liquor.

My sake bottle in one hand, an unlit cigarette in the other, I nudge open the sliding doors with the better part of my shoulder. The warm greeting of the setting sun is welcome as I step outside, the wind tugging gently at my hair and clothes, not quite cold though I can tell it soon will be. I comply with the wind’s gesture and pull the tie free of my hair, letting it fall for the wind to do with what it will before I finally light the cigarette hanging from the corner of my mouth.

I could revel in this forever.The beauty of nature is awe inspiring, really. All the shades of oranges and reds that grace the skies, placed so skillfully that not even the most gifted artist’s rendition can accurately depict them... nature is marvelous. I envy her.

Gah, my whole day ruined… I know I told myself not to think about it, but…

Normally I don’t mind nothing happening in my days. In fact, I live for pointless days, lolling my time away without a care, without decisions and consequences. No goals to reach or deadlines to meet. But today… today was anything but one of those days. I hate it. I want something else. Something simple. Why does life have to be so complicated all the damn time?

Ah, to live as the wind or float as the cloud. Now that would be magnificent…heaven even, if such a place exists. The wind pushes my hair away from my face, as if it had fingers of its own. Is it trying to grant my wish, I wonder? If this is as close as I can get...

The view from here really is far better than that from my apartment. The sky in all it’s untouchable brilliance and bold color unblemished by buildings and chimney smoke… if I could, I would live in a place this peaceful forever. Maybe, if I outlive my years as a ninja I’ll move to the beach where days are peaceful and the weight of the world is powerless to hold me down. Nothing against the hustle bustle city life of a place like Konoha, but really, too much happens there. Just last week when I was on a mission, my apartment was nearly burnt down. Apparently the woman living below me decided it was a good idea to leave her stove on while she went to the gambling house. And people call me lazy. Well, maybe I am, but at least I’m not STUPID and lazy.

I still can’t get the smell of smoke out of my carpet.

o.o.o.o.o..o.o.o.o.o

I watch, moment by moment as the sky darkens, enveloping the visual like a coffin, bringing with it bitter memories and making more than the tips of my fingers feel cold. One more thing has died before my eyes. I hate the coming of night. I didn’t used to. Night, for me, is when the loneliness of life sinks in… it makes me think of death… and emptiness. As a ninja, you see too many things, but it never affects you when it happens. No. It hurts in your alone hours, when some simple comfort has been stripped from you. This is when it finds me, in this slim hour after darkness steals the sun.

I have to get out of here… I have to find Chouji, or Ino, or Neji… someone who’s used to me showing up at this hour.

…I can’t find my hair tie, but that’s all right. I close the door behind me quietly and start making my way down the steps to the lobby. I’m kind of surprised at how empty it feels, especially considering the rowdy bunch I tag along with. I can hear only two voices from down below, and I know if I strained enough I could make out what they’re saying.

Wait…one of the voices…that’s Ino… “…yeah, Naruto and some of the others went out drinking.”

“So we have time to talk?” It’s a male voice… I can’t yet place it, but-“Ino…I-I…”

Every step I take brings the voice closer. “Ssh, ssh, it’s okay, you can talk to me.” A brief silence. “Here, have some sake. It’ll calm you down. Now, tell me what’s wrong.”

I decide to mask my presence. Maybe I can sneak by without getting noticed. “Ino! Shikamaru kissed me!”

Kiba? Fuck.

“What? Shikamaru kissed you?” I hear a laugh.

“It’s not funny!”

She coughs. “Sorry, it’s just… Shikamaru always seemed so disinterested in things like that, even during puberty…” That’s not true. During puberty I was fucking like mad. I just never brought it up. “ To think he’d just up and kiss you is, well, odd.”

“Oh, god, Ino! I-he-you don’t understand! His tongue was in my mouth, touching things and feeling really good and… and…”

“So he’s a good kisser?”

I can hear Kiba’s voice rumbling, almost like a growl. “Ino! A fucking man kissed me! And not just a man, fucking Shikamaru! Shikamaru!”

Fuck. I don’t wanna hear it anymore. A burning sort of shock rips through me, from the pit of my stomach, elevating at the chest, then dissipating in my throat. I don't remember walking... but I step right past them to the sink, I don’t know what I was supposed to do. Whatever it was, I can’t remember now.

Now they know I heard part of their conversation. And why not? Damn it. My fingers grip the cold porcelain like a vice, leaving my hands white knuckled, not to mention my ego crushed.

And I keep getting those shocks. I don’t like it. I knew Kiba was upset… but I didn’t want to hear it…

“Shika-kun?” The tone in Ino’s voice is very inappropriate, almost teasing. I’d punch her if she weren’t a girl. I let my head slide just enough to glare at her through strands of hair. She’s coming towards me now. I want to push her away, tell her to back the fuck up and give her a good violent shove. Why can’t she ever be fucking serious?…

I feel her standing beside me-looking-at me. I turn away. People don’t ‘look’ at me.

“Oh my gosh, it is you!” What? I look down at her, raising one inquisitive eyebrow. “I’ve never seen you with your hair down before!” Really? That’s odd. Not that I hide it or anything… she laughs lightly, placing her hand in front of her mouth. “And the outfit-my, my. Aren’t we turning into a perfect little Sasuke.” I can feel her eyes, sizing me up-but what did she mean by that Sasuke comment, anyway? If I could glare any harder, gods help me I would.

“Ino…” My eyes dart to the table where Kiba still sits. He looks strangely distraught-or maybe that’s not the word for it…hmm… not really mad or upset, just very… unsettled. Yes, I suppose that’s more accurate.

“Shika… my god, I could just eat you up.” Okay, now that’s weird. Especially when paired with that sugar sweet smile that makes my teeth feel like rotting. Her hand reaches up, gently taking a lock of my hair between her slim fingers. Reflexively I shove her away, turning back to the sink.

Dammit. What’s her problem? “Shouldn’t you be comforting Kiba, you heartless harpy?” I didn’t know my voice could growl so low. The feeling I catch from her as she slowly backs away is much like defeat, but quickly switches over to a brewing sort of anger. She’ll be fine in the morning. Of that I have no doubts. But the woman needs to get priority.

I give the air a second to still.

Kiba…he sure does look like an abused puppy right now. I think he’s avoiding looking at me altogether. Damn. I hate this. I’m not good in awkward situations. I step up to him slowly, careful not to induce any more shock than I already have. “Kiba… I can’t apologize.” Dammit, my throat is catching. This is really hard for me. “I wasn’t expecting to kiss you… you made me… or should I say… my body just acted as it thought you wanted it to.”

I try to step away, but he grabs hold of the loose fabric of my sleeve. Not really enough to do anything but catch my attention. “Don’t call Ino a heartless harpy.” He doesn’t sound mad or offended, but either way I jerk my arm violently out of his fingers. That’s the last thing I need to hear. “Just answer me one thing, Shikamaru… why did you kiss me?”

Great. Now it’s confrontation time. Just another thing I adamantly hate. I look down, letting out an annoyed sigh. And it doesn’t help that now his eyes are intently fixed on me. “Because everything about you… everything you did today, just turned me on. I don’t really know any other way to say it without bending the truth.”

I don’t think he expected such a straightforward answer. “Turned you on?”

I shrug. “Yeah, I’m still a man, aren’t I? Last time I checked it was still attached.”

He seems unnecessarily nervous. “But…guys are supposed to like girls.”

“I do like girls.”

His eyes shoot up at me, some unseen emotion boiling over and burning away all of his nerves. “Then I look like a girl to you?”

I cross my arms. “No. Not a bit. Can’t you just drop it already?”

“No! I want an explanation, dammit!”

“How troublesome.” That sure riled him up. He’s gonna fall apart, shaking that hard. I don’t know why he keeps it up. It’s not like I wanted to be here, I already said I hate arguing. “Look, if I’d known how badly you were going to overreact to this… I would have handled myself better.”

Damn this guy… all I want to do is go back to my room and forget this. Grr… he makes me want to tear my hair out.

“Fuck, Shika! Why would you love-“

“-I never said anything about love. Truth be told, I just want to fuck you.” Part of me, a big part actually, can’t believe I just up and said that.

“You wanna wha?!” I don’t bother opening my eyes. I can picture his expression clear as day.

“-fuck you. You’re hot and I want to fuck you. Or fool around, if that’s too much…” I can picture him shaking…it’s like nobody has ever said things like this to him before… well, okay. I am being aggressively straightforward. He’s probably just feeling intimidated. As little as I like to admit it, I’d probably feel like jumping out of my skin and hiding in a corner, too.

I hear him shuffle, the sound of wood grating against the floor. “Fool around…I could do that…”

What did he just-my eyes snap open and focus on the slightly taller man standing like a pillar right in front of me. Gods, I think he actually liked my aggressive manner… “What? I thought you didn’t like guys.”

Kiba looks down at the floor, thoughtfully touching his chin… and still shaking. “I…never thought about it. I guess if we fool around and I don’t like it… then it’s okay and won’t hurt anybody.”

He still looks scared to me. “Whatever. Just don’t force yourself.” I brush my hair back, casually. “I don’t want you to go and do something you’ll regret in the morning.” Because my ass is the one on the line if you do. I’ve seen one night stands go awry far too many times. After all, I am close friends with Ino, who’s had her fair share of one-nighters and make out buddies. It amazes me, even now, how many of them come back and try to blackmail her… or maybe Ino just has bad taste. Actually, that’s probably it, but I don’t want to take that chance. “Besides, you’re shaking like you just saw a ghost. Come back when you’re more confident. Like I said, I don’t want you to do something you’ll regret.”

I step past, casually. At least now he’ll probably take a moment to collect himself. Besides, if he really wants me he can sniff me out…wait…

Shit! What am I saying!? I just had consent to feel up Kiba, from his own mouth and I threw it out the window! STUPID! Why do these things always take so long to sink in? Stupid! If I played my cards right, I probably could have gotten some, tonight! But now… gah! I’m a total, complete and utter moron!! And now I can’t take it back without seeming desperate…

“Wait, Shika!” A hand on my sleeve again. “Don’t make me think about this, Shika-kun! If I think about this, I’m not gonna have the balls to do it, anymore! I-want-you-now!”

Hallelujah.

sxkxsxkxsxkxsxk

A/N: Huzzah for boy/boy goodness!

NEXT TIME:

There is no point in hesitation. To hesitate in battle is to come face to face with death. However, one who rushes in blindfolded often comes to the same fate. The trick is recognizing where one starts and the other begins.

That however, is another lesson all in itself.
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