Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Ice Picks and Hand Grenades ❯ The Number Three ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: Seriously, if I owned Naruto, I’d be rich. And I’M POOR, BITCHES! Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto, so the best I can do is try to pervert his mind until he turns my story into an OVA.
A/N: Like always, comments are welcome and appreciated. However flames will be used to roast those who leave them.
CHAPTER TWO: The Number Three
The beach really is a long way from Konohagakure… if you ask me, it’s far further than it’s worth. I lost track of the distance a while ago, and I don’t know if I’ll be in the mood for swimming. But my feet are still moving, that must mean something.
By the time we’ve arrived, my spirits aren’t quite so high anymore. I guess I’ve regressed to the Shikamaru everyone knows and expects. Well at least there’s no way I can disappoint. I’m not saying I’m not glad to have some time off, just that I’m tired and a little irritated we had to walk the entire way on foot. Err…so I suppose ‘walking’ isn’t exactly accurate, but… whatever. We had to hoof it-a total waste of energy. Gah, and there weren’t trees or rooftops the whole way. Awful. Annoying… yes, troublesome.
The hotel looks bigger than I imagined, perched atop a low cliff overlooking the ocean with its windows glittering in the high sunlight like the crystal clear eyes of a newborn deer...(err... why did I have to go thinking something like that? I feel like kicking myself...)The building itself seems to curl around the curve of the cliff, taking on a very elegant shape, even if it was not the original intention. Greenery lines the stone paved steps to the door, several types of flowers in pots atop pedestals, low shrubbery, thin trees with wispy leaves... it's very nice, actually. Almost ritzy looking. How in the hell I was able to afford a room here, I'll never know. I don't make half as much as the rest of my friends.
We make our way up the steps, slowly, not bothered by the distance after our previous trek. The sliding glass doors hint nothing of our arrival, but despite this, right when the three of us step foot in the hotel lobby, we’re nearly crushed by a stampeding herd of squealing girls.
Not really.
But that’s how I tend to describe it when Ino, Sakura, and Tenten decide to get too enthusiastic at our arrival. Well, most of it’s Ino and Sakura, but Tenten seems to get more than her fair share of the giggles whenever Neji is around. Oh, I forget to mention, Hinata’s here too… but I overlook her sometimes. Not because she doesn’t matter, more because she’s so damn quiet, especially when compared with the rest of these squawking harpies we so gently call women.
When the chatting starts I casually excuse myself, taking it as my cue to leave. I know I’d rather find a nice grassy spot to do some sunbathing, or something of the sort. Exchanging words has never really been my thing. I figure Neji will tire of it soon enough and join me when he’s ready. And as for Lee… well, who knows with Lee. All I know is he’d better not come out in a speedo or I’m going to pop a blood vessel. And I don’t mean that in a good way.
Waving a hand, I make my way up to the desk, get my key and head up the stairs. My room number is 303. Okay, simple enough. Third floor third room.
There sure are a lot of stairs, but I’m used to stairs. My apartment back at the Leaf is on the third floor, too. At least that means it will be a nice familiar height. I toss my bag into the corner carelessly, after removing my swimtrunks from the whole mess. Black and green, of course. I don’t look very good in anything but earth tones, anyway. I change quickly, leaving my discarded clothes on the floor in a heap. I figure I’ll pick them up later, but who knows. That’s why my apartment is such a hellhole.
I take my time back down the steps, contemplating where the others will most likely congregate. Odds are, they’ll be either as close to the hotel as the shoreline will allow, or maybe by some cliffs and trees. It really depends on whether Naruto or Kiba was the first one out the door.
o.oo.o.o.o.o.o.o.
Less than half a second after I set foot out he door my ears are drawn by the all too familiar squabbling of everyone's favorite 'in the closet' couple. They're not hard to find when I have the 'luxury' of following the sound of Naruto’s voice. As I guessed, there are some tall rocks, and a high structure of silt and grass that looks as if it were slowly carved by the caress of the water until it is as it stands now-slightly concave and leaning out at the expanse of the ocean as if in deep thought. I’ll have to remember this spot for stargazing. I take a quick mental picture of the site before approaching the others.
They’re tied up in something. Something loud and obnoxious. I step up with a strain to my brow, not at all surprised when I find that Naruto and Sasuke are already fighting. I should have figured they’d already be at it. Naruto's always at his loudest around the Uchiha heir.
Shino notices me before the others, but says nothing as I step up behind them. “Who’s winning, Shino?” Much to my surprise, Kiba lurches forward and nearly loses his balance. I can tell my face is contorting irritably as I watch him. I furrow my brow and shove my hands in my pockets. “Someone needs to tighten his guard.”
The brunet turns offensively, jutting out his lip as he shoots me an accusing look. “You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?”
“Hardly. But if I wanted to it’d be simple with reflexes like that.” I know it sounds cold, but I really don’t mean it like that.
“I’m on vacation, Shikamaru!”
Anyway, he’s just getting defensive, so I decide it’s a good time to drop the subject with a blunt ‘troublesome.’ He hates getting told off like that, but it’s really his own fault for being so stand offish… though I guess Chouji snorting in the background doesn’t help much either.
“Kiba…” Shino pronunciates sharply, his head not even turned our direction. “Ignore him.”
Ouuu… I hate it when Shino does that. It gives me a powerful-almost-consuming urge to jam my foot up his ass to the ankle… but of course I simply flatten my eyes to my usual ‘I don’t care what you say’ expression. I’m not stupid. In one on one combat I truly believe Shino is the only one out of our respective group who could beat me every time. And I mean downright kick my ass, no questions asked. I’ve contemplated time and time again what strategy I would use in case I ever did have to fight him. And in every plan I find one gruesome hole. No matter what I do, there’s no way I’d be able to keep track of every single one of those damned bugs of his. Not even Shadow Restraint can keep them from crawling out of his skin, as creepy as it is. Not that I’m going to open up and admit I’m scared of the guy. As lazy as I am, I still have a little pride.
But I’ve got to shake the image. Every time I think of those bugs crawling from his various orifices, it gives me the creeps. I’m just glad I don’t dream often… it’s like somebody walked on my grave.
Flicking my eyes from side to side, I try to keep myself from shuddering visibly. It’s bad enough I completely lost track of reality for a moment or two. Drifting like a cloud isn’t really a good thing when others are around. Sometimes I wish I could control my tendency to randomly wander off to my own little world... like now. I guess I was drifting pretty badly, too, because now that I look around, Neji and the others are already here, standing about three feet to my right.
I shouldn’t have cornered Kiba on that whole lack of defense thing. I really don’t like being hypocritical, it depletes my self-imposed image of a good ninja. I focus my eyes down to the ground. The weird thing is how it feels I'll find salvation there.
“Itai! Itai! Itai! Sakura-chaaaan, that hurts!”
Yanking my eyes from their position on the ground, I glance over to catch a rather funny scenario. Naruto and Sasuke rubbing their ears in unison as Sakura-chan looms over them, rather menacingly I might add, her face chiseled and her features as sharp as a freshly stoned kunai. Now she really reminds me of my mother…only… I doubt my mother would look as hot in a rose pink bikini. It compliments her hair. Very nice. She has good taste in fashion… I’m not a fashion buff or anything, but I’m very keen when it comes to color and I do know that certain styles definitely work with some people and not with others… not that anyone but Chouji ever bothered to learn those kind of things about me.
“Here I go!” My head snaps toward the shout just in time to catch Naruto in mid leap as he cannonballs off the top of a particularly tall rock. I must have done it again…and I was probably staring into one spot, as I tend to. Sakura probably thinks I’m some sort of pervert now. Oh, well, I’m a guy… odds are she’s not surprised.
The pink haired girl beside me shifts visibly, her body language projecting her anger a little more than she probably intended. “I can’t believe they’re going to jump off that! They’re gonna break their legs!” I smirk to myself. Sakura was a born medical-nin.
“It looks a little frightening.” Hinata cowers behind us, one hand clinging desperately onto Sakura’s arm as if it were the pillar holding up the sky.
I shake my head. Only the three of us didn’t run over there after Naruto’s little stunt. Even Shino seemed up for it. Of course, I just think it’s troublesome. And besides… now is the perfect chance to talk to Sakura alone.
After all, I promised.
“Sakura-san!” Speak of the devil. Lee’s up there, flailing his arms like an idiot…in a speedo. Eeerrgh… I should have known. That dumbass… the heel of my hand feels like a crutch when it hits my forehead. He just has to make it SO HARD TO HELP HIM!
From the corner of my eye I notice Sakura turning away, probably more out of fear for his safety than spite.
Removing my hand from my vision, my eyes wander over to Hinata, politely motioning for her to leave in the subtlest way I can muster. Hinata’s not stupid, and she catches on right away. After a quick bow and a meager smile, she moves away. I straighten my posture and fake a cough, successfully catching the pink haired nin’s attention.
“Sakura-san?” it takes me only a moment to decide on phrasing. She looks up at me, wide eyed like a scared little kitten… am I frightening? Hmm… curious. “Can I have a moment?”
“S-sure, what’s the matter, Shika-kun?”
“What would you do if... it turns out there is no possible future between you and Sasuke?”
A look of shock overtakes her face momentarily, before fading to the obvious droop of defeat…”I-I already gave up on Sasuke…”
Really? And here, I thought she was more stubborn than that.
Her eyes shift to the ground, as if she is ashamed of her words. “Though… I didn’t tell anybody. Then for a while I was in love with Naruto, but…”
“-But you knew they were meant for each other, didn’t you?” Her head drops even lower. Poor kid. Her answer is obvious. “So what are you going to do now?”
She gives me those puppy eyes again, the ones that make even someone like me want to comfort her. “Why do you care? You, of all people…why do you…” Whoa. I wasn’t expecting the waterworks… one tear escapes her eye, a saddened smile creasing her barely visible lips.
“Hey now, Sakura-san, I was just trying to-“
“DOGPILE!”
There are arms around my neck and I can’t seem to keep my balance and-shit! I dig my heel into the ground to attempt a flip move, but all I can manage is to turn around…and hit the ground, hard. My eyes open abruptly and… Kiba? Of course, who else would shout ‘dogpile’ before leaping on someone? He grins at me, that toothy, almost crooked grin, obviously unaware of the dangerously close proximity of his knee to my groin. Before I can say anything, urgh… more bodies, I don’t know who but… ow. I can’t see a damn thing for a good five seconds before a little spot of sun breaks through and I can start to make out some shadows. Kiba’s forehead was pressed down against my chin in the mess… and I can feel the warm trickle of blood from a throbbing crack in my lower lip. One of the worst sensations in the world, that. Burning, throbbing, itching, swelling, all in one minute and insignificant package. Sometimes I’d rather plant a shuriken in my leg.
“Shikama-“ Kiba hacks, freeing loose locks of hair from the tussle of limbs above us. I can shift my eyes downtoward him, but not much else.“You’re…”
A tongue darts from between slack lips, catching me by surprise as it gently traces the path of blood on my chin, tingling deliciously with every centimeter to my lip. There the tongue disappears, and the trailing lips capture my own between themselves, sucking gently and chastely before pulling away, leaving me even more confused than I already was!
My head’s a fog, have to think of something, something logical… and that’s it, I’ll analyze the situation. Kiba, licking my face… I get it now. Kiba’s mannerisms are influenced by canines, which are extensively protective of their companions to the point where they will… clean an injured dog’s wounds… gah! Disappointing! I was kind of hoping I’d become an instant Casanova and everybody wanted me. Right. And it doesn’t help that it turned me on…
The weight above me slowly begins to shift, and I come to a quick conclusion that my attackers are starting to withdraw-especially since I can breathe again.
“What’s taking you so long?” Ino growls. If I didn’t know better I’d think she’s rearing to beat the snot out of me, especially when she narrows her eyes and sourly puckers her lips like that.
“Whatever. So I can’t have a civilized conversation without you guys knocking me senseless.” I brush the sand off my shorts briskly, and turn my eyes back toward my assailants. “If you guys wanted me to join you so badly you could’ve just said something.”
“But it was so much more fun this way!” Kiba grins again, but I refuse to respond one way or the other.
“Come on, Shikamaru, Naruto and Sasuke are waiting for us!”
“Then let them make out. We can do something else.” I cross my arms, a little bitterly.
“Something less dangerous!” Sakura cuts in, peeping out from behind my shoulder. Of course no one moves. They’re probably expecting me to know what to do. Really my only thought so far was getting the two ‘rivals’ some alone time.
Damn am I being generous today.
“I know!” Ino blurts. “I’m gonna get a tan!”
“Me too!” I just about cringe when it sinks in how bubbly Sakura tends to sound when she gets excited. I could only imagine what she’d sound like in bed… and by that I mean a squeaky toy. Heheh, it’s actually a rather amusing visual. But of course it goes no farther than that.
And neither do I. If I get a tan, I get a tan. I don’t really care. Maybe I’ll take a walk, or watch the clouds… whatever, I guess.
Then again, they’ll probably talk me into doing something stupid. They always do.
o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
I don’t know why the hell I always fall right into their damn hands. First it was ‘Shika, play beach volleyball with us,’ and of course I said no. Then it was ‘Shika, we don’t have enough players,’ and on and on until they managed to finally guilt trip me into the game. I wish I were cold hearted enough to just say ‘no’ no matter what, and smart enough not to listen when they start whining. Especially Ino, who can get me to do just about anything when she pulls my strings the right way. I think she knows me better than I do. It’s scary. And it’s not just her… Tenten, Sakura, even Kurenai… I don’t know what it is about women. They’re all evil masterminds if you ask me. They know what makes a man’s head tick and, like the vile witches they are, they make him do all sorts of things he doesn’t want to. Like beach volleyball. Ugh… a waste of energy.
And especially not worth it when you get knocked out halfway through the game.
I’m not completely sure how it happened. I think maybe my team was just cursed. I was standing right next to Shino when a stray spike nailed him right in the face… and I vaguely recall Kiba pointing and laughing hysterically… but after that… all I remember was opening my eyes to find myself surrounded by faces bleached by the sunlight and realizing I was laying flat on the ground with sand in some very uncomfortable places. I felt a little warm, slightly dizzy, and my face was still streaked with blood from a very massive nosebleed. At first I thought maybe someone had lost their swimtrunks/bikini, but that doesn’t make sense. People don’t really get nosebleeds from stuff like that… do they?
It turns out not to be that interesting at all. Kiba spiked the ball (as if he doesn’t know any other way to hit the thing except as hard as he can), Hinata reached out to hit it and WHAP! Lights out. I don’t know how I missed it. I’m a goddamned ninja, for crying out loud! At least I was only out for a couple of seconds and probably didn’t suffer a concussion. But still, me… I’m supposed to be the smart one!
I’ve had enough of the whole beach experience for the day. I don’t get embarrassed. No way… but damn am I embarrassed. I know it’ll be a pivotal conversation point when we go back, and I am not meant to be the center of a conversation involving vacation bloopers.
I don’t like this. I feel jittery and agitated. I think I need to take a soak in the Hot Springs. But even there I’m not safe. Someone will probably show up just to invade my space. Someone always invades my space. At least I know if I tell them where I’m off to, I’m less likely to get mauled for a third time… because apparently three is my unlucky number.
Before heading to the springs, I return to my room and gather up some civilian clothes and my hitai-ate. Not that I want to flaunt the fact that I’m a ninja… but I don’t own any belts, as it turns out, and just my luck I was out of clean pants when I packed this morning, so I borrowed some from my dad. I thought we were about the same size, but I guess not. He blamed it on ‘filling out with age.’ Feh. I guess I look a lot like my dad, but I’m built more like the men on mother’s side. Wide shoulders, thin waist as opposed to the more squared off and muscular build of my father’s side. In other words, dad would probably beat me in a wrestling match. But then again, so would Naruto, and Kiba, and Neji, and Lee… and probably Shino. I’m not ashamed to admit that. Their fighting styles are more suited to the physical anyway… except maybe Shino, but he’s just a big guy.
I’m not planning on wrestling any of them anytime soon. Or even seeing their faces, as a matter of fact. Right now all I care about is relaxing and shaking off this horrible lingering feeling of sand on my back. I can’t get rid of it, and if I didn’t know better I’d swear some of it was alive and fusing with my skin cells for optimum annoyance.
o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.
When I step out from the showers, I am relieved beyond all measure of words that the hotel’s springs are empty. No old fat men or giggling boys, no macaques or rodent type creatures… quiet. Finally.
I fold my towel neatly on a rock and slide into the warm water, my body shivering from the sudden change in temperature. This is nice. Very nice. I almost never visit the springs back in Konoha… it’s a good change in routine, a seldomly enjoyed form of relaxation I was barely aware I’d been deprived.
I think at this point it’s okay to let myself just drift away. There’s no one here to bother me. Not one. I can almost forget that the rest of my day has been a stone’s throw from enjoyable.
The telltale thwap of a bamboo door closing draws me back to reality. Through the fog I hear the slapping of bare feet on stone, the shuffle of a towel coming off. Oh well. But as long as the spring stays thinly populated, I’ll still be able to relax. I let my body return to its slack position against the edge of the pool.
“Shikamaru?” I recognize that baritone… sharp, raw, a little on the husky side. Kiba. I open one eye to confirm my hypothesis. Yeah, Kiba. My eyelid falls back down and I release an affirming grunt. “Are you mad or something?”
I feel the water at my waist ripple as the dog boy lowers himself into the spring. “No.”
His retort is a melodramatic sigh. “You sure seem mad.”
I should have guessed something like this would happen. Kiba’s as stubborn as a log and has trouble keeping what’s on his mind in there. I let out my lung capacity in one quick exhale. “I’m not mad. You’ve seen me when I’m mad.”
“Yeah, and that’s how you look now.” I open my right eye and direct it toward my accuser. He looks serious about this. Serious doesn’t suit Kiba very well… makes him look angry, even when he’s not. “We weren’t trying to piss you off… we just wanted to include you. You’re always such a freakin’ hermit.”
“If I’m pissed off, it’s because you’re invading my space with melodramatic bullshit.”
“Damn it! Shikamaru, quit being a prick!”
Fine. You want prick. I’ll give you prick! “If you really want to know so badly, I’m not having the greatest day, Inuzuka. I was trying to play matchmaker for Lee and Sakura, but you had to tackle me and mess everything up. And then, next thing I know, some brown haired dog boy spikes the ball right at my face, triggers Hinata’s reflexes and knocks me flat unconscious!” I-I can’t stop shaking and I… I don’t want to snap…I don’t know when he hit that nerve…
My body stiffens as I stand, turning and pulling myself from the water. Blindly, I grope for my towel, not on the rock… dammit! Where the hell did it go?
“Shika!” I’m just gonna ignore him. Finally getting a handful of familiar cloth, I wrap my towel around my waist once. Before I can tuck the edge of my towel in, his hand is firmly latched to my wrist, pulling and-oh shit!
There’s a flash of white behind my eyes as I land. My face stings, and oh shit my knee feels messed up… what the fuck was he thinking? Shit, my lip…again! Same fucking split! I open my eyes slowly and…a collarbone? I smashed my lip on a collarbone. Wait… my eyes inch upward… and… oh gods I’m on top of him! Our bodies are completely pressed together and… he’s gonna kill me as soon as he opens his eyes.
“He-ey! It’s like a storyline from Icha Icha Paradise!” My head snaps toward the voice. There, propped against a rock are Sasuke and Naruto, both flashing sly looks in my direction. I fear my eyes have never been wider… nor have my cheeks ever been redder.
Gods… how did I not notice they were here?
“You need to get a new hobby, dobe, those plotless pornos on paper are going to rot your brain out.”
I can’t think. Oh, hell.
“Hey, Shika-kun! You might wanna take it inside, if you fuck him out here you’re gonna get arrested!”
I feel a squirm underneath me. “Go back to sword fighting behind your little rock, you fuckin’ voyeurs!” Wow. I didn’t know Kiba knew words like ‘voyeur’.
My eyes refocus on the man underneath me (and boy is he a man! His chest and stomach are solid as marble). He isn’t even struggling to remove himself from under me, but I’m afraid if I don’t get off him first, he’s gonna get more than he bargained for. I already feel that familiar heat gathering down low. If he squirms one more time…
“Hey, Shika, get off me, you’re heavy, man!” Thank the gods… or should I be saying dammit? Nah. I don’t like people watching. Tried that. My mind wanders too much with other people around. “Come on, you’re crushing me!”
I stand up sharply, snatching up my towel with one quick and tactful swoop. My knee is still protesting a little, but it’s not as bad as I initially feared. Probably bruised.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I should NEVER take vacations. I think it turns me into a total moron, comparable to Naruto. Well, maybe not by brain capacity, but nobody else I know can get taken out on three separate occasions without counteracting even once.
But I’m still not going to go to those meetings. Gah, I’d rather be trapped in a small room with a rabid badger.
That being said, I’m spending the rest of my day indoors-lounging in the lobby or standing out on the balcony, the salty winds blowing through my hair… mm… that sounds nice… after I take a cold shower of course.
o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o..o.o.o.
I’m back in the dressing room before I know it, relieved beyond the worth of words for the chance to finally calm myself. It’s completely out of character for me to lose my composure like that.
“Shikamaru?”
I felt him behind me, but I was hoping he’d stay quiet. I hoped in vain. I turn towards him. He looks… ashamed… dammit I have no idea what’s going on. “Kiba…”
“I’m sorry… but… don’t make anything of it, okay?” I don’t know what to say… he’s apologizing? For what?
“Sure, whatever.” I divert my gaze.
“Your lip, it’s…” I look up just in time to see the concern on his face before he puts a hand on my cheek, closes his eyes and gives me a perfect rerun… his soft tongue on my chin, taking my lip between his and…oh god I don’t think he knows how sensual it feels, how it makes my entire body shiver. My hand instinctively touches hisneck and I push my tongue between his lips, probing every centimeter of his mouth. Especially his tongue. His tongue feels very strong, very soft… and very sensitive. I can feel him shiver gently as I trace a trail up the part of his tongue, very slowly teasing everything he so generously bares for me. His mouth opens wide, letting me in as deeply as I want… but his fist says something different as it curls against my shoulder. I take one last moment to nip on his lower lip before pulling away and taking a single step back. His hand gropes for the wall, absently.
Geez… I know I shouldn’t have done that… but he asked for it.
I turn to get myself dressed, tying my hitai-ate around my waist at the very last. Kiba is still propped against the wall, staring holes into the floorboards. I guess it really was a mistake to kiss him like that. Like maybe I’ve scarred the guy for life.
And come to think-I’d thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning.
sxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxk
A/N: Hmm… I think Shikamaru has adult ADD (which, by the way, doesn’t necessarily mean he’s hyperactive, just that his mind wanders way too often.) Or maybe he’s part kitty cat. I dunno…
NEXT TIME:
When faced with a choice, it isn’t always obvious which path one should take. No matter which way one turns there will be adversity, and there’s no telling where a path will lead. The most obvious choice may but lead to ruin, whereas taking a risk may spell great fortune. There is no guarantee, often the end of the road is not chosen by us, but by those around us and things that no one can control.
But the important thing to remember is: no matter which choice is made, what really matters is that you realize, once it’s done… it’s too late to regret.