Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Ice Picks and Hand Grenades ❯ Temari ( Chapter 10 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: If it looks like shit and smells like shit, I’m sure as hell not eating it.

CHAPTER TEN: Temari

I’m awake… at least, I think so.

I can’t fucking tell with the shades drawn, cold sterile air wafting about me like the doors have never opened. The sheets feel almost waxy, the hospital issued clothes stiff and unyielding. Ugh. It feels so fake, all of it.

But my chest is pounding like hell, and it’s burning so fiercely… I can only hope this means I’m awake, lucid and that it’s just dark. I would just get it over with and kill myself if I found out I’m hurting in my dreams. I take a moment to rub my eyes, instantly regretting it when the muscles in my arms recoil and a searing, shredding pain rips up past my shoulders.

I can make out shapes, now… I guess that’s an improvement. Table. Door. Beds. But no fucking clock.

That’s it. I’m getting up.

I didn’t think it was possible, but the moment my bare feet touch the floor I come to realize the pain in my legs is five times worse than that in my arms. Not that it will stop me from opening a damn window. The window’s ten feet from my bed, but I only make it a good seven feet before my legs threaten to fall out beneath me. I push my body forward as I fall, managing just barely to catch myself on the windowsill. That’s good enough. I pull up one hand and rip the curtains to each side.

Ah, it’s worth it. The sun cascades onto my face like a parted lover and suddenly the room’s bleak interior is graced with even the slightest inkling of color. It’s warm against my eyelids, and for a few moments I’m able to forget all about the way my legs are shuddering in pain.

It must be partially from disuse. I have a feeling if I force myself to walk around for a bit it will hurt exponentially less.

I stand up straight and make my way back to my bed at a reasonable rate. I was right. This time my legs don’t give out and I’m able to sit down on my own accord. A personal victory, I suppose.

Until someone busts through the door and forces me back into bed, I figure this will give me something to do. It’s better than being forced into traction. What kind of ninja can’t get over a little leg pain, ne?

o.o.o.o.o.o.o..o.o.o.o.o.o.

A good ten minutes pass before anyone shows up to check on me. And to my luck, my doctor ends up being the old hag herself. She lectures me for a few minutes after forcing me to sit down on the bed to check on my physicals. Fortunately, she makes no move to close the drapes.

Very matter-of-factly she pushes various points on my legs arms, and chest, carefully avoiding anything that would get too personal. In a way, I’m thankful, but it irks me at the same time. She’s a medic, she might as well do her damn job to the fullest. I don’t say a word. I guess she’s the doctor, not me. “Good, everything seems to have straightened out… your chakra has returned, at least a little… muscles are staying attached this time…”

Attached… this time? That can’t be good. “What?”

Tsunade glances up, her eyes wide like saucers for just a moment as my question registers. “The insects were burrowing in your muscle tissues and I had to bind them back together with chakra. Why do you think it hurts so much, genius?” Okay, that was uncalled for. However, I don’t press the matter further. “You’re just lucky I purged your system before they put any holes in your heart or lungs.”

I laugh, cynically. “He really was trying to kill me.” It’s only a whisper, but being she’s one of the sennin, it wouldn’t surprise me to find she heard every word of it.

“When you get out of here, you should really thank Neji and Hinata, without their Byakugan there’s no way I could have cleared out your chakra lines in time.” She smiles, a warm, soft smile that betrays her age just a little. “But you’re looking far better than I expected, so I think it’s safe to say the endeavor was a success.”

“So when can I get out of here?”

She furrows her brow. “If you stop being lippy I can get you out of here say... today, by the look of you. I’ll have you put on medicines for about two months, and you'll have to stay on crutches for a few days, just to be safe, but I think you’ll be fine.”

I let my head droop, releasing a grunt of understanding as I do so. “Thanks, Tsunade-sama.”

A beaming smile appears on her face, probably from my ‘courteous’ thanks. “Your temporary guardian will be here in an hour or so, so if you can hang tight until-“

“Tsunade-sama, I don’t need a babysitter.” I’m not a kid anymore.

“She’s not going to be with you twenty four seven, brat. I’m just having her keep an eye on you while you’re out and about for a little bit. If your condition deteriorates I don’t want to have to revive your sorry ass a second time!” Her face has turned sour, though I can only catch glimpse of it by angling my eyes in her direction. I feel too lazy to turn my head. “I’m not asking her to sleep in your house or hand feed you! Give me a break, Nara.”

“Thank you, Tsunade-sama.” Sarcasm. My best friend, closer to me than even Chouji and his charmingly disgusting eating habits. I take a deep breath and mentally roll my eyes. This is stupid. The crutches, okay. I’ll give her that, even if I’m just humoring her in doing so, but a caretaker? I think the old witch has finally crossed the line of violating my personal bubble.

“Remember. An hour.”

“Yes, ma’am!”

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

More like an hour and forty minutes.

Right before I simply stood up and walked out the door Temari appears in my line of vision, looking mildly frazzled with a half bottle of sake tucked conspicuously in the fold of her navy blue jacket. I try not to grimace at the sight, but I fear my body is giving me little choice. I mean, to the point where I might have an aneurysm if I don’t look away for a minute or two.

“Shi-ka-ma-ru-kun!” She nearly stumbles, catching herself on the doorframe and glaring at it fiercely.

“Temari, you’re shitfaced.” I cross my arms, letting my scowl become even more obvious, if at all possible.

“Oh-ho! Mister state-the-obvious!” This isn’t a good sign. Not only is she supposed to make sure I don’t fall dead in the street, but she’s swaying from side to side dangerously as she steps. I’m going to end up killing myself saving her! I hate my luck. I hate my life. Where’s some rope? I might as well get it over with now. When I look back there’s an awkward smile on her face. “I brought you some medicine.”

She shakes the half empty bottle back and forth as she approaches me. I’m so very tempted to just pick up one of my crutches and give her a good thump on the forehead. But I know if I do that she’ll start yelling at me, and I’m really not in the mood.

“C’mon now, stand up just once and tell me you don’t want it!” She sets a hand on her hip and tilts her head back, smugly. I would laugh really hard right now if she just lost her balance and landed flat on her ass. "I heard what the old hag said."

"Yeah, she said I couldn't leave this damn place until you showed up. Now you're here. Get me out of here so I can dump you off at the bar and go home."

Her lower lip juts forward in an attempt... to look cute? Well whatever. It's not working. "That's not nice, Shikamaru-kun. I hate drinking at bars... makes me feel like a stumbling drunk."

Well, you ARE a stumbling drunk... Damn. I should just say it, but I know Temari's not past hitting a guy on crutches, so I keep my mouth shut... pretty much. "Troublesome." I push myself up without too much resistence from my body and start heading toward the door. I guess that'll have to do for now.

o.o.o.o.o.o

"Oi, Temari, you're heavy." Twenty minutes and ten meters later... This is starting to wear down on my fuse. "Oi! Temari-teme! Get off my arm, that hurts!"

"Saa! I need to sit down, Shikamaru-kun..." The blonde girl mercilessly tugging on my arm recedes for a moment, settling herself down on the grass at the edge of the road before once again pulling at my hand and dragging me down with her. I don't think she really understands the severity of the pain I'm feeling right now... "I'm... sobering... up... gah-aaah! I hate sobering up, fucking headaches and shit..."

"You drink too much." I sigh, heavily. The grass against my skin feels rather nice,I'll admit. I had no idea I was burning up so badly.

"Not too much..." She says in a lecturing tone. "Just too fast."

"Whatever." I set my crutches aside, carefully before leaning back into the cool grass. "Too much, too fast... at this point I don't think it really makes much of a difference."

Temari shoots upward suddenly, throwing herself into an awkward sitting position. "Of course it does. If you take it too fast you don't get to savor it."

"Eh... I don't agree." Temari starts off laughing. I can ignore it. "I never drink unless I'm stressed out or on special occasions."

"Pfffft! Liar!" She rolls onto her side, her cheeks tinged red from her laughing fit. "You always took your time... it's niiiiice...""Temari--did you even hear the end of my sentence?""Who cares?" She leans her cheek against the palm of her hand, gazing at me with eyes still a little too fuzzy to be sober. "We should do it again.""Eh? What are you talking about?""We should fuck."I sit up a little too quickly and nearly collapse from the searing pains that shred through my body. "Te-temari! You--Ino said you have a girlfriend!"

Temari grins up at me, devilishly. Dammit. Why the fuck did she have to go and say something like that for? "Heh. I never said she wouldn't be joining in, ne?" My mouth snaps shut and the clacking sound of my teeth colliding is more than enough to disconcert anyone withing a good thirty meters. Yeah... pretty loud.

"Temari! I--like I'd be comfortable with that!"

"Li---ar!" She rolls onto her back, flashing me a toothy grin. "It's every guy's fantasy to be with two gorgeous chicks at once. Besides, I asked her right when I got into town, and she's totally up for it. She was sold as soon as I told her about the thing you--"

"Temari!"

"Sheesh! A snippy little bitch today, aren't we?" She lowers her brow at me, not quite a glare... but very nearly. "You never took this long to convince before. It makes me wonder if you think you've grown up or... if maybe you have someone else. Ne, Shikamaru-kun?"

I lock my eyes on her indifferently, blinking once before handing her a reply. "No, I'm just tired of drama." Very tired.

Much to my surprise, Temari remains silent. A few moments slip by, and before I know it, my eyes have locked on the wisps of clouds floating by through the wind ruffled leaves of a tree. It's been awhile, hasn't it? Since I had the chance to just stare up at the clouds and let all the problems in the world pass me by... it seems wrong now. Almost as if the magic is gone.

The obvious slosh of liquid against glass pulls me back. My eyes shift over only to find Temari's sake bottle waving back and forth in front of me in an awkwardly hypnotic sort of way. There's that pleased-half-plastered look still hovering over her eyes and lips, silently urging me to go ahead and take it. I pause for a moment, have a second thought...snatching away the bottle, I throw back one long swig. Apparently, I've changed my mind.

"Don't care. I like foursomes, too."

I grimace and take another, less extravagant swig. "I told you there's nobody."

"Hmm? I can't hear you. Nobody? So you were fighting with Shino over a bowl of ramen, ne?" A light chuckle wafts over from her direction.

We were fighting... "not for somebody. More like something. I don't know, pride? Or maybe it was all arrogance. Fighting over an idea like it was something we could touch... something we could win. Stupid, ya know?" I take hold of my crutches, carefully pulling myself to my feet. "Troublesome. I'm losing my goddamned mind."

She rolls onto her stomach, tucking her arms under her chin, lazily. "You're not crazy. You're just a man. That means you fight for stupid reasons, get pissed off easily and bottle up your emotions. You're normal as hell. In fact, it's irritating."

"Maa, don't forget lazy."

Temari furrows her brow, snapping her eyes toward me as if attempting a potentially fatal genjutsu. "Pfft... fuckin' smartass prick."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Every once in a while, a little sake is good for you. It warms up the blood, calms the nerves... dulls physical pain ever so slightly. Personally, I don't like getting straight out wasted--I'm not the kind of person who feels comfortable in a state devoid of coherent thought. Even the thought of losing control over my body makes my stomach turn. I don't understand how any level headed shinobi could think differently. Inebriation is definitely a state of helplessness.

But apparently not all ninjas are level headed, like my friends for example. Take this scenario, Naruto, loud mouth ninja number one, staggering across a fairly crowded street, tripping over shoelaces he doesn't even have. And by some weird ass sixth sense, apparently... coming right for us. It's like he's on a mission or something. Gah. I wish he'd just fall over and pass out. Why am I surrounded by freaks? Why can't anyone be normal... or at least sober? Is that too much to ask?

"Aha! Shi-shishamar-" Hah... Naruto never should have been allowed to drink, of age or not. "Dammit, your name's hard to say... Shisha--shishi--shimaru? Err..."

"Go sit down before you fall over." Temari smirks, earning a heated scowl from the kyuubi boy.

"Eh-eh, it's old lady Temari. Whaddya want, ya old hag?" Naruto's alchohol slitted eyes open ever so slightly, revealing the hazy gray rings under his eyes even more than I thought was possible. "I'm tryin' to talk to Shishi-kun, go away!" That is so very not cute! I face the blonde with my best glower in place, but say nothing.

"Hey, I'm not that much older than you, moron!" Temari fists her hands, defensively. If I don't stop it all now...

My hand flies forward without my command, shredding pain throughout my body, but otherwise getting the point across. Temari and Naruto stop there, both turning their gazes intently toward me... well, as intently as their current states of mind will allow.

Naruto suddenly catches a stray thought, bouncing his fist on his open palm once. "Oh, oh! I remember now! It's a... a... I was s'posed to find you and uh... yeah!" Much to my dismay, the slobbering drunk grabs hold of the fabric of my sleeve and tugs stiffly. "Inside, here."

I've given up any thought of struggling. The guy's so determined even my Kage Mane no Jutsu wouldn't be able to hold him back for long.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"Yeeeouch!"

"Sempai !!!"

My eyes widen, pushing past the door. There's a sudden wind by my left ear and half a dozen dull thuds. Several stray kunai and part of a broken shotglass? I have a feeling the assault wasn't intentional... which can only mean one thing.

They're playing drinking games again.

Not to mention that shout I heard. Taking a quick overlook of the room, it appears the victim was none other than Chouji, who's now shooting death glares at the shiruken jutting halfway from his palm, though he's making no attempts to remove the thing... definitely drinking games... and worse than that, Lee's the one with weapons in hand, blindfolded by his hitai-ate and turned away from his target. We're just lucky he's learned to handle his alchohol over the past year...who in the hell knows what could have happened if he still flew off the handle after alcohol even touched his lips. Granted... he's still not aloud to have more than three drinks.

Neji and Sakura are off in the corner, still looking fairly sober, but under enough alchoholic influence to be taken in by the game, Hinata is smiling innocently from the bar, swaying ever so slightly, Shino and Kiba are in line for the shiruken toss, and apparently Sasuke is the next victim in line, as odd as it may seem. There are several others in attendence as well, some I know well, others I don't know at all... a few I only know by name or face... mostly jounin with a few chuunin peppered here and there. I think that's even Kiba's sister Hana and Konohanmaru, too, even if the latter isn't technically old enough to be drinking at a bar...

Ino and Tenten don't seem to be in attendance, at least not in my line of sight, and Temari's already disappeared from behind me, probably off to seek her girlfriend or get some more booze in her veins.

"C'mon Shishi-kun! It's a celerbration!" Naruto lands a heavy hand on the center of my back, reverberating pain into both arms, respectively. Not like I can get too mad at the guy, though. He's so plastered he can't even pronounce everyday words correctly. Then again, that could've been two drinks for Naruto. What a lightweight.

Cheers erupt through the room as the sharp thunk of three kunai hitting nothing but wood enters my ears. Drinks are thrust into the air, and for a moment, Naruto seems to have completely forgotten my existence. "Yeah, Sasukeee!" Naruto wails, his voice cracking like a pubescent boy. I grimace sternly and walk away without saying another word.

Maybe a good stiff drink is in order, afterall. The fairly shaken bartender smiles as I sit down at the bar, my crutches leaning up against my leg to keep drunken idiots from tripping over them and trying to start a fight... more than likely with the crutches than me.

"Shikamaru!" The stool to my left is pulled out by a feminine hand.

"Ino..."

"Where've you been all day? I thought you got released from the hospital this morning..." Her usual scary smile passes over her face and I turn away.

"I've been taking care of a troublesome drunken idiot all day. And you?" I glance back at her.

"Same." She points a thumb behind her at an obviously intoxicated Chouji, who simply smiles and waves at me with a freshly bandaged hand. "Sakura ditched me and now I've got to play doctor for these idiots all by myself."

"So what's this all about?" I lean my elbow up against the bar for a moment, but the pain makes me think better of it and my hand ends up back in my lap.

She looks surprised for a split second. "This? Oh, didn't you know? Today the Hokage selected Jounin Instructors for the new Genin teams..."

"Hmm... heard about it a few weeks ago, but didn't care seeing as I'm not a Jounin and none of my kids are good enough to be Genin yet." I let out a silent sigh at the thought that I can't rest my chin on my hand. How troublesome.

A brighter smile graces Ino's lips. "Well guess what? One of our very own made the cut! Already! Can you believe it?"

"Yeah."

Her face twists to a mock-upset scowl. "C'mon, Shikamaru-kun."

"Fine, fine. I'll bite. Who?" I can feel the bottom corner of my lip pulling downward in irritation.

"Your boyfriend."

Okay, full blown grimace, now. "So nobody, then."

"Shikamaru, you know I'm talking about Kiba, you lazy asshole!" She stands up and leaves without warning. I don't know what kind of weird bug crawled up her butt. She didn't seem that upset. But I'm shitty at reading people, so whatever. Let her do what she wants. It's none of my concern anyway.

"She's mad 'cause she can't drink." Chouji chides, pointing across the room, though if Ino's there, I sure as hell can't see her. "Desig-designated mother hen..." Chouji laughs, almost choking on his own throat as he does so.

"The role doesn't suit her." I breathe heavily.

"I think it's cute."

Another sigh. "You would. She's your girlfriend, Chouji. It's really just a pain in the ass."

"Hey, kid. Need a drink or anything?" The bartender interrupts... "Shinobi drinks are all on Hokage-sama tonight."

"Ah, sure. Whatever's fine."

Chouji resumes his giggling, apparently unphased by the interruption as if it were still the normal flow of conversation. "She lost a bet to Naruto again."

I shake my head, taking the drink offered to me. "She needs to stop doing that. If there's one thing Naruto has that she doesn't, it's luck."

"Mm, mm!" Chouji nods enthusiastically. He seems pretty stable, maybe he's not as hammered as I thought... nah. He's hammered. "I hope she never learns."

"Here!" Taken a little by surprise, Chouji and I both whip our heads toward the intrusive blonde girl making her way toward us. What is she--? Oh. Temari and Tenten are with her. Though... I couldn't tell you why. "You deal with it! I'm sick and fucking tired of caring for everyone else's idiots, so you take care of yours!"

Wow. What a bitch. I think Chouji was a little confused with that whole mother hen thing.

I need another drink. This is going to be one long fucking night.

sxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxk

A/N: Well, ah, nothing much happened in this chapter. Dunno what to say. It's a filler episode! BWAHAHAHAHA!!

NEXT TIME:

Each change in the wind or turn of the tide brings with it a new tale. New places, new experiences... as we hope to forget those gone past. A change in the wind can be necessary. A change in the wind can be welcome. But things are never more than what one takes from it.

Run! Run into the wind and see if you can fly!