Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ If Only You Knew ❯ Irritating Situations ( Chapter 2 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 1 Irritating Situations

Three Years Later

Having pulled my usual prank of the day, I ran from the men who were chasing me.

"Naruto!" they shouted. "This is the final straw!"

The 'final straw' as they put it was my defacing Hokage Mountain by painting graffiti on the Hokages' faces. The Fourth had received an especially interesting array of symbols.

The symbols were actually youkai. The ones that I'd painted onto the Fourth's face meant "murderer." The villagers, blissfully ignorant fools that they were, had no clue. They figured it was just childish scrawls from a demon-possessed—or murderous, as they secretly commented—child's mind.

Finally losing sight of them, I sensed Umino Iruka's chakra signature ahead of me. He is the sensei for Konoha's Shinobi Academy and one of the few people who willingly deal with me. Still, feigning stupidity on his behalf is really getting tedious. Really.

When he jumped out at me, I shouted aloud in false surprise, slapping that stupid-astonished look on my face. After all of this time, after all of these years, I take some pride in knowing that it's perfectly convincing, at least.

"Caught you, Naruto!" he snarled, incensed.

"Iruka-sensei!" I cried, pretending to be nothing less than awe-struck. "What are you doing here?"

"Catching you!" he growled, and dragged me back to the Academy by the scruff of my neck like a recalcitrant dog, mumbling under his breath about wayward students the whole way there.

When we arrived, Iruka dumped me onto the floor and gave me a thorough chewing out, complete with arms crossed over his chest and aggravated pacing. The pacing was the only interesting thing about an otherwise yawn-worthy ass-chewing, made worse by the fact that he has bad breath. Lacking any other escape at the moment, I chose to ignore him.

Snorting at me with disdain, Iruka called everyone up to the front of the class as punishment for my actions.

"Everyone will perform the transformation jutsu. The target transformation is me. Haruno Sakura you're up first."

While we all waited in line, I could hear them muttering about me, saying it was my fault, that they all had to suffer for my screw up. If I cared about any of them, it might have mattered, but their petty and stupid lives—comfortable and placid and full of loving families—didn't interest me in the least. I tuned out their complaints and turned my attention to something that wasn't an utter waste of my time—observing those classmates of mine who weren't mentally challenged and perfect little imitations of mindless villagers.

Unfortunately, that did not include the vast majority of my class, it only allowed for the observation of Ino, Shikamaru, Kiba, Lee, Sakura, Chojji, Ten Ten, Hinata, and Sasuke. They were the only ones with the slightest hint of being interesting, the most promising of them all being Uchiha Sasuke

Everyone knows his tragic story of woe—and please notice that this statement is heavy on the sarcasm. He came from the beloved Uchiha clan and carries a deep and abiding hatred for his brother, Itachi. Itachi, of course, in the way of all dramatic tales, is rumored to have murdered his entire clan…save for Sasuke. Oh irony. Itachi, apparently, encouraged Sasuke to hate until it has festered to the point to no return…and then try to kill him. So, basically, Sasuke lives for revenge and the revival of his clan. Which begs the question—does he kill his brother first and risk dying himself, or does he go knock someone up? You decide. I don't think he has, yet.

Personally, I think there is more to the story, but I have more important things to worry about than that idiot Uchiha who allows hate to epitomize his reason for living. Still—and I would never admit this out loud—he's not bad-looking.

"Uzumaki, Naruto," Iruka's voice brought me out of my reverie. Inwardly, I smirked. Guess it's my turn, huh? Taking my place at the front of the class, I made the proper signs…but instead of the Transformation Jutsu I performed my Sexy Jutsu.

Iruka got a nosebleed, recovered, and proceeded to yell at me nonstop for ten minutes. Once he was done, he gave me a look of utter disgust.

I pushed back a twinge of disappointment. People have always treated me like dirt and that I can handle. Iruka, however, has been nice to me on several occasions, with nothing more prompting it than a good heart. Having him look at me the same way as everyone else made me wish he'd only ever been cruel, because then it wouldn't bother me that he turned out to be just like them when it came down to it. Worse than them, even, because at least they never pretended to care.

I told myself it didn't matter, I clung to my apathy in desperation.

But I knew it was a lie.

I've always tried to understand how I could be this way, and I've always held the cautious hope that Iruka—my sensei—might be able to help me feel. I mean, I could feel things, but not like other people. I never learned how. I never had a mother and father to teach me, friends to share with me, anyone to learn from. I could feel curiosity, disappointment, hurt, confusion, but anything that remotely resembled love, caring, even giving a shit about life…I just came up with a cold void. I knew, having lived without it, that such emotions weren't a necessity, but just once I wanted to feel something that went deep, that went all the way to the bone. In the end, I guess, it doesn't really matter.

Avoiding my disappointment, I turned my thoughts to other things and observed Haruno Sakura out of the corner of one eye. She was one of the brightest people in our class. Unfortunately, she was also one of Sasuke's fan-girls, so most of the time she acted like an imbecile. For instance, she was currently fighting with another girl to sit next to Sasuke, who looked like he couldn't give less of a damn.

Because I constantly observe Sakura and her ridiculous crush on Sasuke, people have mistakenly taken that to mean that I, of course, have a crush on her myself. I think they all need hobbies and to stay out of my business, but that's just my opinion. Personally, I shudder at the thought of myself with that pink-haired monstrosity. Yet, I couldn't not observe her—watching her make over Sasuke was like watching an accident, I just couldn't look away. Morbidly, I wondered what on earth could be so fascinating about someone who couldn't give two shits and a fart about her that would keep Sakura so devotedly determined to get his attention.

To get a better look at this situation, I leapt up onto Sasuke's desk to peer down at him.

Before I could do much more than cock my head, I was rudely interrupted by an elbow that sent me crashing to the ground on top of Sasuke.

Everything else just blanked out as his lips met mine.

I didn't move from where I lay sprawled on top of him, I was just…there. I had never been touched by another human being in any significant way outside of beatings or punishment, so kissing was definitely a foreign concept and just a bit of sensory overload. Sasuke, however, seemed to know exactly what to do. His tongue parted my lax lips and snaked into my mouth. It was such an odd, alien feeling that I didn't move or even respond.

The kiss only lasted a heartbeat before I was bodily pulled off of Sasuke and beaten by an angry bunch of hormone-driven teenage girls.

When they were done, I pulled myself off of the floor and went back to my seat, but I could still hear the whispers.

"Did you see that?"

"The Uchiha will be traumatized for life!"

"That freak kissed him!"

Okay, this I could deal with. People have always thought that I'm a freak and now they think I'm a gay freak—but I wouldn't really argue that. I didn't have enough experience in the matter to really know anything beyond the fact that Sasuke's lips were really soft, and Sakura grossed me out.

By the time class was over, I was a little less bewildered. The classroom was empty by the time I was ready to leave. As I walked towards the door, a voice that I really wasn't in the mood to hear called after me, "Where are you going? Dobe?"

Uchiha, Sasuke—a.k.a. Teme.

Not in any mood to play cheerful, energetic Naruto, I was blunt with him. "None of your business." And, just for good measure, "Teme."

He looked slightly taken aback, as if he didn't expect me to call him that. Recovering quickly, he replied, "Tsch! As if I really cared, Uzumaki."

"Then why did you ask?" I pointed out, forgetting for a moment that I was supposed to be a brainless baka* with nothing intelligent to say.

"I…I…" Uchiha, Sasuke—prodigy of the Uchiha clan—was actually stuttering because of something the Kyuubi no Kitsune Vessel had said. Would wonders never cease?

Before I could stop it, I was smirking. Mockingly, I asked, "What's wrong, Sasuke-kun? At a loss for words? Well, now you know how your fan-girls feel…"

Sasuke's cheeks took on a reddish tint.

I sighed. As much fun as it was to tease Sasuke, who took like way too seriously, I had more important things to tend to.

Without another word, I started to leave, but the bastard was blocking the exit.

"What are you trying to pull, Uchiha?" I coldly asked. "You're not cool and collected, but that's your problem—not mine. Now get out of the damned way!"

"No."

One word, but the tone said so much more—I like a challenge.

I realized at once that his momentary discomfit had passed and he was once again his usual bastard self.

I started to respond but the Uchiha came closer, invading my personal space so that I had to back up. Without realizing it, I found my back against a wall.

Sasuke then leaned towards me, bracing his hands on either side of my head, his face looming to fill my vision.

This was beyond weird! I was actually letting some person I cannot stand back me into a wall? Hell, no!

"Uchiha," I said through gritted teeth. "You have five seconds to get out of my face!"

In my head I counted to five. Looking at the bastard's face he was showing no inclination of moving. Instead he seemed amused, which only made me angrier. He must've been counting down the five seconds, because when I hit zero, he did something entirely unexpected.

He kissed me.

Once again, I found myself too shocked to kick his ass or make him back off, I just held still for the gentle pressure of his lips. It was…vibrant, warm, it made me feel. I felt it clear down to my toes and back up again—I've never felt more alive in my life!

He made a low, frustrated, growling sound as he tried to part my lips with his tongue. Even though I liked his embrace so far, I wasn't about to make it easy for him—no amount of ambush-kissing could get me that far gone.

Oddly enough, my body didn't seem to mind Sasuke's touch. I got hot in places I didn't think were possible—my cock, for one, twitched and began to rise.

I gasped in surprise and Sasuke pressed his advantage—his tongue slid into my mouth in eager exploration.

I tried holding back the moan that threatened but I couldn't. The noise I made caused his eyes to flare with triumph, but I was too wrapped up in what was happening to care about his petty power-trips. Feeling—that was more important to me, and I felt so much!

Just when I thought it couldn't get any better, Sasuke pressed flush against me, pushing me hard into the wall. His hands drifted over me while his lips held mine. One of his tense thighs worked its way between mine, brushing against my straining erection.

I slowly lifted my hands, unsure of what to do but wanting to encourage more of this feeling. I twined my arms around his neck in invitation and he didn't disappoint. He twisted a little against me and dropped his hands to my hips, pulling me hard against him as he rocked his own hips forward.

I moaned again, shuddering in his grasp at the delicious friction of it, the hard heat of his own cock pushing and rubbing against mine. Even through our clothing it was electric, amazing, and I didn't bother to contain my moans. It seemed to affect him—he pushed against me with greater insistence, almost frantic, almost hard enough to cause pain. I realized that it was getting out of control but I couldn't force myself to break away, to push him, to stop this intense and amazing pleasure.

But suddenly, it hit me.

Why is he doing this?

My body tried to shut down this train of thought because what Sasuke was doing felt good, and he was actually touching me as no one ever had before—and that was the problem. That very lack of human contact made me suspicious of his reasoning, and my naturally mistrustful nature overrode the foreign and delightful sensations that the Uchiha was provoking in me. With a strength born of long years of neglect and abuse, I pulled away completely.

For a moment we just stared at each other, panting, trying to catch our breath.

I knew I looked as disheveled as I felt, but Sasuke looked tousled. Believe me when I say this only makes him look that much more fuckable.

When I'd finally recovered enough to speak I snarled at him, "What the hell are you trying to pull Uchiha!"

He still seemed to be a little dazed, and when I yelled at him he just seemed confused. Hmmph! I wasn't about to fall for that act!

"Listen you bast—"

"What on earth!"

Iruka. Great, just what I needed.

Iruka came bustling into the room and squinted at us for a moment, trying to identify who we were.

"Naruto? Sasuke? What are both still doing here?"

I decided to lie. What, like I could tell him the truth?

"Nothing," I replied, glaring at Sasuke and daring him to disagree. "Right, Uchiha?"

Sasuke glared right back. He clearly considered me a coward for my lie, but I didn't see him taking the plunge. He just scowled and tightly said, "Right."

"In fact, we were just leaving," I added.

Iruka looked suspicious, but he didn't question either of us further.

"Sasuke go home," he said, never taking his eyes off me.

Sasuke's eyes slid over me and then back up to my face.

The message in them was clear—this wasn't finished, not by a long shot.

After he left I waited impatiently for Iruka to begin his lecture; however, all he said was, "Naruto come with me."

Curious and with no other recourse, I decided to humor him and follow.

He led me to Hokage Mountain where the evidence of my earlier artwork still remained.

"Clean off the paint," he said, and motioned towards a bucket full of suds with a green sponge laying next to it.

I looked at him incredulously and asked, "What makes you think I'm going to listen to anything you tell me to do?"

Iruka flinched as though I'd hit him. I almost felt bad for him. Almost.

"Please," he asked. "Just do it."

Grumbling to myself, I grabbed the bucket and sponge and started scrubbing off the symbols I'd written. The entire time I cleaned, Iruka chattered at me like a monkey. I should have found it annoying, but it was comforting somehow.

By the time I was finished Iruka was talking about tomorrow's final test before graduation.

I was more than familiar with this particular test. After all I've failed it twice before. Of course I'd failed on purpose. Being a shinobi held no appeal from me. It's not as though my future lay in being Konoha's bitch. There is no way I would ever die for this village. I could pass the stupid test easily enough. All that was required was to make a doppelganger, which I could do in my sleep.

No, I would never sacrifice myself for a village that so selfishly demanded its people be willing to give up their body and soul for its continued existence. This village that was so close-minded to anything beyond its own limited knowledge—that, in fact, killed what it didn't understand. How could I ever willingly give my life for such a place?

A lot of people might ask why I would stay here when it's obvious I'm not treated as a human being. The answer is simple—Kyuubi told me to stay here, and here I will stay until it decides it wants me elsewhere. I might not be willing to follow Konoha's orders but Kyuubi is a whole different story.

"So Naruto…" Iruka's voice brought me out of my musings.

"Hn," I grunted.

He giggled.

He actually giggled. Like a teenage girl!

"What is so damned funny?" I demanded to know.

"You sound just like Uchiha Sasuke."

Now that brought a scowl to my face. At my look of distaste Iruka started giggling again.

I shuddered at the sound and quickly asked, "What did you want to know?"

He scratched his head, as if trying to recover his train of thought.

"Oh yeah. Will you try really hard to pass the test tomorrow?"

I arched an eyebrow at his choice of words. Really, at times Iruka could be such a child. I really didn't even know how to respond to that—this was the first time anyone had asked me such a question.

"Ugh…sure," is what managed to stumble its way out of my mouth.

Iruka's face lit up and he said, "Great! I'm sure you'll do it this time!"

Inwardly I shook my head. How could a man who'd achieved the rank of chuunin still have such a naïve belief in people? It was truly mind-boggling.

He stood up from where he'd been sitting so comfortably the whole time I'd been scrubbing. He stretched his spine for a moment and looked at Hokage Mountain, surveying my work.

"Good job! If I didn't know better, I'd say that nothing had been done to it in the first place," he said, stretching again. In a far too cheerful voice, he said, "Let's go."

I watched him walk away.

For about the millionth time today, I shook my head but followed anyway.

Don't ask me why