Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ If Only You Knew ❯ Waiting in the End ( Chapter 3 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Chapter 2 Waiting in the end

I didn't have long to wait. Iruka led me to the popular local ramen shop . I bit back a moan. Damn. One of the trademarks of my 'mask'-as I call it-is having an obsession of all things ramen. In truth I can barely stand the stuff.

The idea to create a cover personality had 'come' to me one night while I was having one of my 'chats' with Kyuubi.

Gaki?

What?

You do realize how important it is for these humans not to realize that we interact. Not to mention you being in ignorance about my presence right?

Psssh, I'd scoffed, if those fools didn't want me to know about you then maybe they shouldn't call demon or monster as they're beating me.

I realize the stupidity of humans, gaki. Trust me. But these imbeciles still expect you to have remained ignorant of my presence. Therefore, I suggest you use this to your advantage.

How exactly would I go about implementing this to my advantage? Suddenly it dawned on me exactly what Kyuubi meant. Wait you don't mean…

Very good, gaki. Yes, that's what I mean. Create an alternate personality, per se. This 'mask' should be almost the complete opposite of your true self. That way no one will suspect.

Not a bad idea, I conceded. (Okay so the idea was originally Kyuubi's but what the hell? In a way Kyuubi is me so, whatever) So I should go for an energetic, cheerful loudmouth, who is mostly an idiot. Would that suffice?

Yes.. Kyuubi chuckled as if amused by the picture. Add an obsession with ramen to go with it. That will make it just perfect. Kyuubi's laugh turned into an all out laugh.

I'm glad this is so amusing to you, I replied dryly. You're not the one who has to make a fool of yourself.

Allright, Allright. Kyuubi managed to settle down. Make sure you wear loud, obnoxious clothing as well. It started chuckling again. I think orange would be an appropriate color, don't you think.

There is no way, I protested. That is where I draw the line. It's bad enough I have to act like the polar opposite of myself but I absolutely positively refuse to yield to that.

In the end I ended up conceding defeat anyway.

At first it took effort on my part to play a convincing role so different from my real personality. Needless to say I tripped and fell a few paces along the way. Now it was second nature.

"Naruto?" Iruka's voice dispelled the memory. "Go ahead and order." The employee taking orders looked at me with clear distaste as he took prepared to write mine down. I ignored it and ordered a bowl of Pork ramen.

While we waited for our food, Iruka and I sat at the 'bar'. Just before our food was coming out I saw the server spit in my bowl, when she thought I wasn't looking. When order was brought out, the lady smiled at Iruka and looked distastefully at me. Suddenly she smiled incredibly eerily towards me and said.

"Enjoy your meal. Let me know how it was." As she walked away she cackled. Iruka frowned and looked from me to her and back again.

"What was that all about?" he asked, confused.

"It's nothing." I dismissed.

At my reluctance to talk about it Iruka started talking about my earlier prank.

"You know what the Hokage are right Naruto?" Oh Gods here we go, I have to play stupid again.

"Yeah they're the top ninjas in village, ne?"

"Then why did you do it?" Iruka asked, crossing his arms, expecting nothing less then a truthful answer. Shit, well I sure as hell wasn't going to tell him the truth so as usual I lied.

"Because I'm going to surpass them all! I'm going to be the greatest Hokage the world has ever seen." I blurted out.

Spur of the moment lying isn't really my thing. I usually need time to think of a master plan before I go forward. Unfortunately this case had called for spur the moment.

Then I realized my mistake.

Iruka didn't say anything at first, but his eyes said it all. What a dream. Nobody will ever accept you as Hokage because of the Kyuubi. Then he looked at me with something akin to sadness and pity in his gaze.

"That's an admirable goal."

Hmm, as if I wanted or needed his pity. It's not like I was actually going to attempt to become Hokage. That would truly be a waste of time.

The employees, who had overheard my statement, were laughing so hard they had tears running out of their eyes. At the laughter, Iruka eyes them strangely, but said nothing. Wanting to change the subject I asked the first thing that came to mind, once again, not really caring at this point what it was.

"Iruka sensei? I asked. "Can I try on your headband?"

"What this?" He fingered his hitai-ate. "No way. You don't get to wear this until you graduate. This is a sign that you've graduated and are no longer a child, but a full-fledged shinobi. Neither of which you are as of yet."

Acting affronted at this I yelled.

"I want more ramen!" (The previous bowl of which, I had made the contents of disappear with a simple youkai technique.)

Iruka laughed and motioned towards the server.

I glared at them while Iruka's head was turned, daring them to spit in it again. Needless to say they got the message and this time around I got spit-free ramen.

After Iruka had paid for the meal I thanked him and headed for back to my 'sleeping place.'

Finally I could be myself. I could feel my face drop from its usual 'happy-go-lucky' mask. Into the stoic face I usually wore while alone.

Instantly my body went from its seemingly normal posture to a stance that let anyone who might want to mess with me know that they wouldn't be able to touch me without a fight.

Two years ago the beatings had stopped.

The reason?

I had beaten the villagers to the point of where now they would far rather hate me from a distance then attempt touching me again.

Finally back to where I slept, I sighed in mental frustration.

Long day, gaki?

You have no idea, well maybe you do. Let's just say after tomorrow's test I'll be more than glad to rid of this burden.

Which burden? The burden of keeping this secret, of pretending to be something your not, pretending that the Uchiha's kiss didn't stir you, or is it the warmth you feel towards Umino, Iruka?

I sighed. All of the above. To top it all off I kind of told Iruka that I want to become the next Hokage.

Kyuubi laughed outright. You what?

Well, the guy asked me why I 'defaced' Hokage Mountain. I couldn't tell him the truth could I?

Hmmm…I suppose not. But even if you had told him he wouldn't have believed you.

I know Kyuubi, but I wanted to be sure.

Well, Umino will definitely never guess now. Plus, you have an even more convincing cover story.

Whatever, I mumbled, I'm going to sleep now.

Goodnight gaki.

The Next Day

When I got to the Academy the next morning everyone seemed to be in high spirits. After all, today was the of the final exam. I wasn't stressing, after today I'd be done with the Ninja Academy forever. The reason being once you failed the third time you were done.

I couldn't wait, finally I could finally be myself again. Well as much as myself as I'd ever been. Not to mention actually do what I'm supposed to do, which did not include being a shinobi I was as close to excited as I ever get. I got in line with the other students I was last in line, big surprise there.

By the time it was my turn to go, almost everyone else had passed with flying colors.

Inwardly I smiled, this is going to be amusing.

When my name was called I approached the senseis' table.

Iruka and Mizuki, another teacher, were the ones handing out hitai-ates, when the student completed the exam jutsu successfully.

As I approached the table Iruka's eyes were full of hope and encouragement. Too bad I was about to disappoint him. Mizuki's face was the ideal shinobi mask, emotionless.

Getting into 'position' I prepared to make my move. Oh, I made the correct hand signs, but I didn't release enough chakra for the jutsu to be performed successfully.

The result was one doppelganger that resembled me, but had a vacant look in its eyes. It didn't move either, just lay on the ground with its tongue sticking out. Really it was the most miserable-looking doppelganger I had ever made. I was proud of myself, only I could manage to screw up this jutsu so horribly.

Iruka took one look at it, gave me a disgusted look and screamed

"YOU FAIL!"

I walked out without a word. Out to the yard behind the academy and sat on the swing as I watched everyone celebrate their graduation with their families. The swing was the equivalent of my safety net. Whenever I felt as though my mask might start slipping this is where I came. The gentle rocking motion of this old swing helped to somewhat calm my nerves and maintain my composure.

Suddenly I felt myself under the scrutiny of two older females. Judging by their age they were old enough to have been alive during the whole Fourth Hokage incident.

"Is that him?" one of them asked the other.

"Yes, I'd recognize him anywhere. That blonde hair, blue eyes, and whisker burns. That's him all right." the other replied disdainfully, the loathing practically oozing out of every pore in her body

"Thank the gods he didn't graduate. Could you imagine if they let someone like that become a shinobi?"

I just shrugged it off and left. I'd definitely been insulted worse than that. I found myself at a ledge overlooking the village and forest. Just as I was about to leave a somewhat-familiar voice stopped me.

"Naruto?" Turning I was surprised to see Mizuki standing behind me, a gentle smile filling his usually stoic features.

"What?" I didn't feel like acting happy at that moment. Luckily with the circumstances I didn't have to.

He took a seat right next to where I was standing. After a moment he finally spoke.

"You know the reason Iruka-sensei is so on you is because he cares."

Pshh, my mind scoffed, yeah right. I don't know what kind of drugs you're on but maybe you should cut back.

"Look," I said rather curtly "I failed the test three times and that's all there is to it. Three strikes and you're out, and that's all ther-"

"Naruto there is a way you can pass." He paused, I suppose, for dramatic emphasis. I rolled my eyes and waited for him to continue. "If you can show Iruka-sensei that you can produce at least three doppelgangers."

I didn't like the tone of his voice. Something was definitely up. Mizuki crept closer, and I discreetly moved back as he moved forward. Nobody invaded my personal space. No one. But he didn't seem to notice as he went on.

"There is a forbidden scroll with forbidden jutsus, and other things contained within it."

I added a curious note to my voice as I asked

"Other things?" Worry filled me. What if something fatal to Kyuubi was written in these scrolls? I had to read it to find out. I left Mizuki sitting there, on the ledge, but not before I caught the look on his face when he thought I wasn't looking.

A triumphant smile had made its way across his face.

I knew where the scrolls were kept, Hokage headquarters.

Once I had arrived I scanned my surroundings. The Hokage was the only one there.

Huh, unusual. You would think the humans would protect their prized leader much better than that.

The third Hokage's name was Sarutobi. Unlike the Fourth Hokage, the third actually cared about Konoha and its inhabitants. True, I was the bane of the old man's existence, but I held a modicum of respect for him. Though my 'cover' would never admit it. I would have to take care of the Third before I acquired the scrolls. So I sexy jutsued him which left him laying there with a nosebleed. I didn't want to think about the implications of a man of his age still being able to have an erection. There were just some places the mind shouldn't wander.

I proceeded to the archives and after some fumbling around, found the scroll Mizuki had described.

I decided to go to my usual spot in the forest where I trained. This 'spot' was next to an abandoned shed in the forest.

I knew I didn't have long. The Hokage would have recovered by now and sent his pet shinobi to recover the scroll.

As I read the scrolls all I found was 'forbidden' jutsus and the sealing ceremony that had been used to seal away Kyuubi. I destroyed that part of the scroll. Or rather, I made it disappear and put nonsensical writing that not even the best scholar would ever be able to decipher. As for the forbidden jutsus, I left them as they were. They were special techniques that had been developed in Konoha.

Even though I hold no love for it, it is not my place to destroy the work of people before me. Unfortunately I have a photographic memory, which means I now know the hand signs and practical application to all of these jutsus. Rolling the scroll back up, I immediately sense Iruka rapidly approaching. I make myself look disheveled and sweaty as if I'd been practicing one of the forbidden jutsus. As he approached I made an effort to look surprised.

"Found you Naruto!"

I laughed a seemingly nervous sound and made sure Iruka took note of my appearance. At that moment I'm pretty sure he was thinking I'd been practicing one of the jutsus.

I realized I may have some explaining to do.

"Iruka-sensei you'll have to let me graduate now!" I shouted out at him.

Looking bemused he replied.

"How's that?"

"Mizuki-sensei told me about the scroll and this place!" I replied enthusiastically, jumping up and down for emphasis, and then pointing to the scroll. "He said if I learned just one jutsu from this scroll you would have to let me graduate.

Before he could reply Iruka suddenly pushed me out of the way and got hit by several kunai in the process.

It appeared he had sensed Mizuki's presence before he'd seen him.

Hmmm, who knew? I guess there is a reason Iruka is a chunin.

The force of the attack threw Iruka against the wall of the shed. Basically he was pinned to the wall like a skewered pig.

Still, what the hell had he been thinking? I had sensed Mizuki's chakra signature way before he had and had been fully prepared to throw a kunai when he'd pushed me.

Mizuki appeared a moment later, apparently not too happy that his kunai hadn't hit his intended mark.

"Naruto." he said to me in falsely sweet voice. "Give me the scroll."

There was not way that was going to happen.

But my 'mask' would have been torn between his two teachers in this situation.

So I put on what I hoped was a confused face and looked back and forth between the two.

"Naruto." Iruka ordered, pulling the kunai from his body as he did so. "Don't give Mizuki the scrolls. He just wants them to serve his own purpose. He lied to you."

"I lied to him?" Mizuki laughed incredulously "That's a laugh considering the village has been lying to him his entire life."

"Be quiet Mizuki!" Iruka growled at him. "It's forbidden."

"Don't I know it." Mizuki drawled. "However, seeing as how I don't really care about such things anymore I think I'll tell Naruto about the decree that was put forth twelve years ago."

Even though I knew all about it my 'cover' didn't. So I asked.

"What is this decree? Why does everyone but me know about it?"

"The decree is-." Mizuki stated.

"Mizuki-!" Iruka interrupted. "Shutup!"

Of course Mizuki went on anyway.

"The decree is that no one is to speak of is that the demon fox that tried to destroy out village twelve years ago lives inside you! You are the demon fox!"

My 'mask' didn't take this news well.

"No!" I shouted dramatically, making my chakra appear out of control. "No! No! No! No! No!"

"Naruto..." I heard Iruka groan in sympathy.

Then I did what anyone would more-than-likely do in that kind of situation. I ran away.

Mizuki of course took off after me in hot pursuit. But I had gained quite a head start. So I used a doppelganger and had it take my place. I hid in the tree and watched in amusement as Mizuki the idiot took off after it.

Much to my surprise I hadn't needed to do even that.

Iruka appeared near my doppelganger and grabbed it, of course thinking it was me. He quickly told 'me' to go hide while he performed a henge of me with the scroll.

Mizuki, meanwhile had seen Iruka grab what he thought was me and waited for me to escape. He hadn't seen Iruka grab my clone, so he decided to henge into Iruka, thinking that would be the perfect way to trap 'me.'

"Naruto!" I heard the fake Iruka shout. "Give me the scrolls. Mizuki was just using you to get them."

'I' rammed into Mizuki headfirst sending him careening back to the ground.

Gasping for air he panted at the disguised Iruka thinking it was me.

"How did you know...Naruto..." Mizuki's henge of Iruka dropped. "How did you know I wasn't Iruka?"

"Because," Iruka panting himself stated, dropping his own henge, "I'm Iruka."

"Why do you persist on defending that demon brat?" Mizuki snarled at Iruka. "He killed your parents."

"You can say whatever you want." Iruka stated coldly. "But you're not getting your hands on that scroll."

"Not only will I get my hands on that scroll but Naruto will hand them to me himself." Mizuki stated calmly. "After he gets revenge on the village. He is just like me after all."

Iruka arched an eyebrow at his, ironically at that moment so did I, from my cover behind a nearby tree. I was like that moron? What a laugh.

"How's that?" Iruka asked dryly.

"That's just how beasts are."

Okay at this point I had had enough of this idiot.

I jumped in front of Iruka.

"Naruto!" he screamed at me. "You idiot what are you thinking?"

I stayed silent, ignoring his questions.

"So you finally decided to come out and play, huh demon fox?" Mizuki said challengingly. Thinking he was being slick, he nonchalantly unclipped one of two shuriken from their position on his back.

"Try dodging this!" he shouted at me and flung it at me.

Shit, if I dodged the stupid thing at this angle Iruka would get suspicious.

Luckily I didn't need to come up with a plan. Iruka did all the work for me.

"Naruto!" He screamed "Get down!"

Once again knocking me out of the way he took the shuriken directly in the back.

Once I'd brought my hand from behind my head, like the good little coward my 'mask' was I looked up at Iruka and saw the extent of his injury.

"Why did you do that?" I screamed at him. All my life I've known the reason behind why things were the way they were. But this action seemingly had no logic.

Especially considering this was the second time he had done it.

"Because…" he managed to gasp out. "We're the same." I stared at him like he was some foreign creature.

"I used to pretend like everything was okay and I became the class clown during my Academy years. I did it all to mask the pain."

Then to my horror he began to cry.

"I'm so sorry Naruto. I could have been there for you, but I wasn't. Could you forgive me?"

Sarcastic laughter filled the air. Then a voice filled with loathing took its place.

"Don't make me laugh!" Mizuki chortled, quite an annoying sound too. "Iruka always hated you, it was the nine-tailed fox that killed his parents!"

I, of course, already knew this. What I knew was the way it had really happened. Kyuubi had killed several people in order to avenge its kind. Iruka's parents, had unfortunately been there.

At this I decided to make a tactical exit by appearing to be hurt.

Iruka of course assumed this was the case.

"NARUTO!" he shouted as I once again took off using the cover of the bushes.

"Did you see his eyes?"

Mizuki stated in more of a sentence than a question. No waiting for a reply he said.

"Those are the eyes of a monster! Now Naruto will take his revenge out on the village and everyone in it."

Inwardly I scoffed at that. Yeah I'm the monster, yet you are trying to kill not only me, but Iruka as well. And for what? A stupid piece of paper.

"Yeah, you're right." Iruka confirmed.

I'd felt a pain I'd never felt before blossom in my chest. It only lasted for a brief moment, but it was there. So he does hate me after all… and I was beginning to think…I went back to my usual indifferent zone. The one one I was comfortable in.

I continued to listen.

"That is the behavior of a monster..." Iruka went on to say, " ...but that's not who Naruto is. Naruto…there's so much more to him than people think."

I froze at that. There is no possible way he could know.

My worry was short-lived, though.

"Naruto is one-of-a-kind. He works hard. Sure he messes up sometimes and everyone jumps on him for it, but that just makes him even more determined to rise above everyone's opinion."

Feeling a surge of admiration for him I immediately squelched it.

He was wrong, yes, horrible so, but no one had ever said anything good about me before. Ever. Well except Kyuubi, but that didn't count.

Mizuki took Iruka's praise of me in a different matter all together.

He had a look of utter disgust on his face, then it melted into what I guess he considered his 'angry' face and unclipped his remaining shuriken which he'd kept secured at his back.

"Iruka, I was going to save you for later, but I've changed my mind." He started spinning the shuriken and advanced toward Iruka.

Iruka, being the self-sacrificing fool he is, had closed his eyes and seemingly, accepted his fate.

Stupid humans! Always ready to throw their lives away for such stupid things!

It took me a split second to make a decision, a decision I knew I would grow to regret.

I jumped out of my hiding spot and easily kicked Mizuki back several feet just as he was about to release his attack, throwing his shuriken way off course.

He sat up dazed, bleeding from the mouth.

More of my true nature was present at this moment.

"If you every lay a hand on Iruka again I will kill you." I stated this in a clear, cold voice, which could not be mistaken for anything other than what it was.

Deadly intent.

Mizuki actually paled for a second or two. T

hen he recovered his attempted arrogant look, wiped the blood from his lip, and snarled.

"Not bad for a little runt! Show me what you can really do, demon fox!"

Really human beings are so very predictable. I easily created a thousand doppelgangers using one of the 'forbidden jutsus'. (anything more elaborate might cause Iruka to get suspicious). The doppelgangers were really just a ruse.

Although beating him to a pulp would have been one solution I chose to enter the fool's mind instead.

His consciousness screamed in fear when he realized who it was.

Get away from me! his mind screamed in fear.

"Hey Mizuki." I said emotionlessly "Boo!" I felt him He shrink from me at that moment. Deciding I had done enough damage I withdrew and had the buushins kick his ass anyway.

I walked over to Iruka, removed the shuriken from his back, ignoring his cries of pain, and helped him up.

I could see him staring at me as if he couldn't believe it was me.

"Hey Naruto." he gasped, using a nearby tree as crutch. "Close your eyes."

I gave him a puzzled look but obliged him. Feeling him tie something around my head, my dread started to grow.

My suspicions were confirmed when I opened my eyes his hitai-ate was no longer attached to his forehead.

Oh hell no!

I'd just ensure my way out of this ninja shit!

Now I was stuck. It looks as though this was going to be a bigger problem than I had anticicapted.

"Ugh…thanks." was all I managed to sputter out to Iruka, who must have taken it as being emotionally shocked. Then he proceeded to tickle me.

I myself was not ticklish, but the other me was. I pretended to laugh hysterically and tickle him back.

By the time I got home I was more than ready for bed, but before I drifted off I thought about the brief sense of pain and then warmth I'd felt. Was this emotion? Was this what I'd been missing out on?

It's a brief taste, gaki, Kyuubi explained. But you will known when you feel emotion, true emotion, for the first time. Love will make you feel like you can do anything (even more than you already can), and hate will make you feel like you have a gaping hole where your chest once was.

Kyuubi, will I ever feel emotion?

You will gaki, you will. You may not know it yet, but you have a huge capacity for emotion.

Thanks Kyuubi, and goodnight.

Goodnight, gaki.

Before I drift off I thought to myself

Iruka is the one I owe my thanks to. He is the one who gave me, if even for a moment, a brief burst of emotion. For that I will make sure no one ever harms him.

Meanwhile I wait for the day when I will fully feel emotions.

Love or hate. Joy or sorrow.

Any and all these are an emotion.

I don't care which I feel first. I just want something to feel the void. To make me feel alive. Not these flashes I've had with the Uchiha and Iruka, but full fledged emotion.

So I continue to wait.