Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Immortal Bitches ❯ Thanks a Lot ( Chapter 1 )

Chapter 1: Thanks a Lot

 

 

It was around three in the afternoon and three girls were just leaving a movie theater.

“You know guys, the movie had a really good start but a crappy ending.” said a girl with long golden hair, hazel eyes, a glove that went over her right arm, and she was twirling a scythe.

“Alexandria, that is the last time you pick a movie. You know I hate horror movies!” yelled a girl with shiny, knee-length black hair and black wolf ears and tail, but no one could see them since she had an illusionary spell on. She also had a sword with a black hilt and a black metal sheath on her hip.

The last girl that came out was shaking really bad.

“A…A… Alex…” she stammered. The girl had short brown hair and was wearing a long black dress.

“Yes?” said Alex.

“I'm really scared.” She looked like she was about to cry.

“Oh Cassie, I've got candy” said Alex

“Ooh! Gimme!!” said Cassie, who grabbed it and began to munch on the candy.

Now as you can tell already these girls aren't human. Alex (the one with the scythe) is the daughter of the grim reaper (a.k.a. Death). The girl with the long black hair is called Rouyakan and she is a wolf youkai. And Cassie is a witch. And they were about to have the biggest adventure of their lives.

“Okay Cassie, conger a teleporting wind to take us to my house.” said Alex.

“Okay!” yelled a really hyper Cassie (because of the chocolate). “Sprites of the sky, spin and twirl us to a place unknown and do it now!” chanted Cassie, the wind began to pick up, and the girls were gone in a cascade of wind.

 

In Konoha

 

“Hey you, in the black pig suit!” yelled Naruto, a boy with tussled blonde hair. “Release him now and I'll go easy on you, baka!”

“You're really starting to annoy me!” said Kankuro, another boy who was clad in a black suit and pointed head cover. “First off, I'm allergic to `shrimp'! Bad enough that you're a short little kid and you're disrespecting you elders! You really piss me off!!”

“Nani?!” gasped Naruto and Sakura, a girl with short pink hair, at the same time.

“I will not be held responsible for this,” said the girl that was next to Kankuro; a leggy, platinum blonde named Temari.

`Who is he? This is so not good…' thought Sakura.

“You…!!” screamed Naruto, and he charged for Kankuro “You… You..!!”

Just then, screams were heard as three girls fell from the sky and two of them landed on Kankuro.

Alex landed on Kankuro's head with her panties pressing against his face, and Cassie landed on his stomach. Rouyakan did a back flip and landed on her feet, catching Alex's weapon as it fell from the sky. And she began to yell. “Cassie no baka, you preformed the spell wrong!”

“Naruto! I can't believe this, those two girls beat that guy, and they're not even shinobi's!” said Konohamaru, a small, brown-haired boy with an obscenely large scarf, pointing out that they didn't have any forehead protectors like they did. Well, everyone but Konohamaru, that is.

“Oh come on, it's not my fault! I could have beaten him if those girls didn't intervene!!” pouted Naruto.

Now since Kankuro had a girl's private with nothing but panties between him and you-know-where, he began to get a nosebleed. This did not go unnoticed by Alex, but being the decent girl she is, she thought it was something else.

“Hey Cassie, do you have a pad? I think I started my period.” laughed Alex, embarrassed. And she stood up and noticed that she landed on someone. And that it was a boy and he had a bloody nose. She was pissed off.

“Why, you little punk!” she screamed, and she picked Kankuro up and punched him square in the face. Kankuro got up and glared at her.

“You little bitch.” He got his puppet ready to attack.

“Tell me you're not using that against her.” said Temari. Alex readied her scythe (which she had retrieved from Rouyakan) and Kankuro got ready to unwrap his puppet, but a voice stopped them.

“Kankuro, don't.” said a boy with pale blue-green eyes, spiky red hair, a tattoo on his forehead that read `LOVE', and a gourd on his back.

“You're a disgrace to our entire village.” Everyone turned towards the boy.

Kankuro and Temari got really nervous. “G-Gaara…” stuttered Kankuro

“It annoys me that you lose control in a quarrel with children, and with a non-shinobi girl, of all people.” said Gaara, saying `children' like you would say `stupid'. “Have you forgotten why we came here?”

Alex couldn't keep her mouth shut. “Oh, getting dissed.” she said from behind her hand. Gaara just directed his cold gaze at her.

“But Gaara… they started it; the little one slammed into me and the other girl punched me.” explained Kankuro. Gaara's cold stare turned dangerous and he spat, “Shut up or I'll kill you.” At this a shiver went up Kankuro's spine. “You're right. I was out of line.”

Temari spoke “Gomen nasai… Okay, Gaara?” Gaara then looked at Alex. `So, this is the girl that landed a punch on Kankuro? That takes some skill.' thought Gaara. He then disappeared in a cloud of sand and landed in the middle of Kankuro and Temari.

“Let's go,” said Gaara and all three of them began to walk away.

“Matte!” yelled Sakura.

“… Hai?” said Gaara, not bothering to turn around, but giving her a half-stare over his shoulder.

“According to you forehead protectors, you three come from the Village Hidden in Sand.” She said. “Your country is one of Konoha's allies but according to our treaty, your shinobi are not permitted to cross the border without authorization.”

“Rouyakan, what the fuck are they talking about?' whispered Cassie.

“I don't know; it has something to do with those bands with the metal plaques on them. Just listen and find out.”

“As you guessed, we're Genin shinobis from Hiding-in-Sand; we're here to take the Chunin Exam.” explained Temari.

“What's the `Chunin Exam?'” asked Naruto.

“It's an exam that that tests shinobi's from other countries. It determines if they can move to the next shinobi rank, Chunin.” explained Temari.

The three outsider girls were even more confused then before.

“W.T.F.?” said Rouyakan. Then the three girls turned their attention to Naruto, who was yelling about if he should take the Chunin Exams to `long scarf' kid.

Just then Gaara turned his attention to Alex, who was twirling her scythe.

“You, girl, what's your name?” said Gaara.

“Why should I tell you?” said Alex with a wicked smile. She stuck her tongue out at him.

“You best tell me or I'll kill you.” seethed Gaara.

“Ha! Like you could ever kill me.” snapped Alex.

“Tell me now! Or you will die!” growled Gaara, his sand wrapping around him.

“Little boys shouldn't threaten girls!” mocked Alex.

“Jeebus Christmas, just tell him your name!” yelled Rouyakan, growing impatient. “I don't want to have to drag off another victim's body and explain to your dad why this boy came to him before he was scheduled to!”

“Not `til he tells me his first!” snapped Alex, pouting like a young child.

“Gaara of the Sand.” Was the simple reply.

“Alexandria Sarachson.” said Alex. Just then, Naruto jumped in front of Alex and yelled, “Oi! Oi!! Don't you want to know my name too?”

“No.” said Gaara “Lets go.” and the three of them left.

As Rouyakan saw him go, she knew something was wrong with him, but then all three of the girl's turned to face the people behind them.

“Ohayo!!” yelled Cassie cheerily. They all just stared at her.

“Konnichiwa, minna-san.” said Rouyakan, crossing her arms.

“Hiya!” said Alex “What are all your names?”

Then they saw a boy with spiky blond hair and wearing a lot of orange come forward and say,

“I'm Umazuki Naruto and I'm going to be the next Hokage!” He stated proudly.

“What the fuck is that?” asked Alex.

Everyone looked dumbfounded, but then they got back to introducing themselves and they explained what the Hokage was.

“I'm Hanaro Sakura,” Said the girl with bright green eyes and long pink hair.

“And I'm Uchiha Sasuke,” said a boy with semi-short black hair and black eyes as he jumped out of a tree.

“Well I'm Cassandra Herosike,” said Cassie “but you can call me Cassie, `kay?”

“I'm Rouyakan. No need for my last name.” said Rouyakan cooly.

“I'm Alexandria Sharhson, but call me Alex.” said Alex. “So can you tell us were we are?”

“You're in Konoha.” said Sasuke unemotionally.

“… Where?” said Rouyakan.

“Well sorry for disrupting you, we'll just be on our way.” Said Alex.

Rouyakan took Cassie aside and whispered “Do the spell right this time so we can go home!”

“Okay.” Said Cassie and she began to chant. But the winds didn't pick up.

“I can't do it!” said Cassie a bit worriedly. “Oh no. What if we lost our powers girls?!”

“Powers?” echoed Naruto.

“Well we might as well tell you that we aren't really human,” sighed Rouyakan, rubbing her temple.

“Then what are you?” asked Sakura.

“I'm a witch.” said Cassie.

“Prove it.” said Sasuke.

“Okay…” And with that she summoned her broom with a velvet bag that contained her tarot cards.

“Wow, you really are a witch!” exclaimed Naruto in amazement.

“And what are you?” Asked Sasuke.

“Me? I'm a wolf youkai,” said Rouyakan as she took of her illusion spell, revealing her wolf ears and tail, claws, fangs and slitted gold eyes. Sakura then paled drastically. She asked, timidly, “You're not going to… kill us, are you?”

“Nah, if I wanted that you'd all be dead.” said Rouyakan, giving a nonchalant half-smile.

“Can I touch you ears?” asked Sakura.

“No.” said Rouyakan bluntly. She suddenly found her stomach getting acquainted with Alex's elbow. “Uh, I mean, No, later.”

Then Naruto turned his attention to Alex.

“What are you, a fairy, an angel? What, what?” Naruto bounced up and down. The trio chuckled at his energy.

“I'm the daughter of Death.” said Alex. Sasuke then began to choke.

“Sasuke-kun, are you alright?” Asked Sakura. Sasuke then looked at Alex.

“Prove it.” He sputtered, clearing his throat.

“Okay…” said Alex, and she to the glove that went up her arm and began to lower it. They saw that her arm was made of bone. Sakura threw up a little, Naruto's stomach lurched, and Sasuke just stared. He now had hatred in his eyes, all directed at her. (E/N: Ooh, lucky Alex! *snickers*)

“You bitch, you took my parents!” Sasuke hissed through clenched teeth as he balled his fist to throw a punch at her. But Cassie stepped in front of Sasuke.

“Now, now, it was her father who took your parents, not her!” laughed Cassie. Alex whispered, “That's not helping, Cassie.”

“Gomen… but it's true.” Said Cassie with a laugh.

“Yes, I know there are other dimensions that my father goes to do his job in, but you don't have to mention it.” whispered Alex.

“Sasuke-kun, stop it. She didn't do anything and she obviously doesn't mean us any harm.” said Sakura, grabbing a hold of Sasuke's arm.

“Fine.” Muttered Sasuke as he backed away, turning his head towards her, and said bitterly. “I hate you, bitch.” and he walked about 20 feet away from Alex to a man with silver hair, a black mask that covered most of his face, and a black forehead protector that went over his right eye.

“Yo.” he said, giving a very relaxed one-hand salute.

 

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Wai!! ^^ Hey there, everyone! I'm Chibi Rouyakan (my mm.org s.n., of course), the editor/beta of this story! I hope you all are enjoying it, `cause beta-ing for Luna is hard. I mean, Luna-kun practically whips me to do her bidding!! *looks around* And she can't spell, either.

Luna: I HEARD THAT!!

o.O; Uh-oh, she heard me!! I'm in big kuso now! Remember, look around for my little editors notes (E/N), and look forward to the next chapter! I've gotta run!!

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