Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Immortal Bitches ❯ The First Test ( Chapter 4 )

Chapter 4: The First Test

 

Everyone entered a big classroom with a ton of people.

 

“What the--?” exclaimed Naruto. The three were gawking at how many people were there. Then, out of nowhere, a girl with platinum blonde hair and dressed in a skimpy purple outfit jumped out and glomped Sasuke.

 

“It's kawaii Sasuke-kun!” the girl exclaimed, while Sasuke looked thoroughly annoyed.

 

“Can you say `uber bitch'?” said Rouyakan, looking at her.

 

“Oh my kami! Look at Sakura, she can't think of anything to say to that bitch!” said Alex, annoyed that Sakura wasn't doing anything.

 

“Alex, don't--” started Cassie, but it was too late. Alex was right next to Sakura and whispering.

 

“If you want to get her back call her a pig with cheap fashion sense!”

 

“It's worth a shot…” shrugged Sakura.

 

“Well Ino, at least I'm not a pig with cheap fashion sense!” snapped Sakura.

 

“Why you--!!” seethed Ino.

 

“Good one Alex!” clapped Rouyakan as she and Cassie went closer to Alex.

 

“Hey, Naruto!” whispered Cassie.

 

“Hai?” replied Naruto.

 

“Who are these three people?”

 

“Well that's Yamanaka Ino.” said Naruto, pointing to the girl in purple,

“She's Sakura's rival and another would-be Sasuke groupie.”

 

“Okay, who's he?” asked Rouyakan, pointing to the guy with a lazy expression.

 

“Oh, that's Nara Shikamaru,” stated Naruto, “A lazy, unmotivated good-for-nothing, full of nothing but complaints.”

 

“So he's a bum?” said Alex bluntly.

 

“Pretty much.” Naruto said casually.

 

“But he's a cute bum!” said Cassie. “Who's he?” she asked, pointing to a rather fat boy.

 

“That's Choji; he's always stuffing his face.”

 

“Hey there you are!” said a voice from behind everyone “Looks like the gang's all here.”

 

“Who the fuck is that and why does he have a dog on his head?” Alex asked Rouyakan.

“How the fuck should I know?” said Rouyakan.

 

“Including you… unfortunately.” Shikamaru said to a boy who looked very similar to the dog he carried on his head.

 

“So, I guess all three of this year's rookie teams decided to apply, huh? I wonder how far we'll all get. What do you think, Sasuke?”

 

“Trying to psyche us out by acting cool, Kiba?” said Sasuke smugly.

 

`So, guy-with-dog-on-head is named Kiba.' thought Rouyakan.

 

“Who's acting? The way we've trained, no way can you beat us!” laughed Kiba.

 

`Cocky son of a bitch.' thought Rouyakan.

 

“Oh, shut up!! You guys won't even beat me, much less Sasuke!” yelled Naruto.

 

“Simmer down, Naruto.” calmed Alex.

 

Just then a girl with short blue-black hair and a blush on her cheeks turned to Naruto and said, “I-I'm sorry, Naruto-kun, Kiba didn't mean that the way it sounded…” she stammered, blushing harder.

 

`Aw, she's adorable!' thought Alex, Cassie, and Rouyakan.

 

“Huh?” said Naruto, as he turned around to face her.

 

“Can you tell us who these three are?” asked Cassie.

 

“Sure.” whispered Naruto. “That's Kiba,” he said, pointing to Kiba. “A worse wild man than me! He makes me sick, draggin' that stupid mutt everywhere and trying to throw his weight around!”

 

“Okay.” said Rouyakan.

 

“That's Hinata.” whispered Naruto, pointing to the girl with the short hair,

“A world-class freak who won't even look me in the eye. A shy little brunette.” Alex took her scythe and hit him on top of the head.

 

“What was that for?!” whined Naruto.

 

“That's for dissing a nice girl like that!” snapped Alex.

 

“Ignore her,” said Rouyakan, “She's just upset about something.”

 

“Please continue.” said Cassie.

 

“Shino… I really don't know him.” Naruto shrugged, looking over at the spiky-haired boy with sunglasses and a coat that covered his mouth.

 

“Real help you are.” Rouyakan said scornfully.

 

“Sorry.” said Naruto. Then a voice from behind said, “Would you guys do us all a favor and just shut up?” Everyone turned around to see a guy with glasses and sliver hair like Kakashi's, dressed in purple-black clothes.

 

“Do you get a bad feeling about him?” asked Rouyakan.

 

“Yeah.” nodded Alex.

 

“I don't!” chirped Cassie. Rouyakan just slapped her on the back of her head.

 

“You don't get a bad feeling about anyone.”

 

“You three gangs of would-be hotshots are all Genin, right? Kids barely out of the local shinobi academy, all wet-behind-the-ears and runny nosed.” he sounded all high-and-mighty. “This isn't a school field trip, you know.”

 

“Who the hell do you think you are?” asked Ino, glaring at the newcomer.

 

“Name's Kabuto, so what? You kids need to open your eyes.” He said

and everyone turned around and saw murderous glares from a close by shinobi group.

 

`Damn, they look like they're about to kill us!' Rouyakan looked at the particularly vicious looking groups.

 

“Watch out for the group behind you. They're from the Hiding-in-Rain village and they've got very short tempers,” stated Kabuto, “Everyone's nerves are on edge, waiting to take the exam. I wanted to give you a heads-up before someone snaps and beats the crap out of you.”

 

“Okay you guys, are you bored listening to this asshole or what?” whispered Cassie.

 

“… Sorry, I didn't hear you; I fell asleep. What did you say?” Rouyakan looked at Cassie absently.

 

“Want to go screw with people's heads?” suggested Alex, eager for a little excitement.

 

“Why not?” Rouyakan and Cassie followed Alex, and they went around whispering to people about how they took the exam and died and how they stay on earth to warn upcoming competitors about the test. After they freaked a few people out, the girls began to grow restless again.

 

“Come on, Alex.” said Cassie and they flew (well, Rouyakan walked) over to where Naruto was. He looked discouraged and Sakura was about to cheer him up.

 

“It's all right, Naruto. Nothing to worry about…” Then Naruto took a pose and pointed to the crowd, taking a deep breath.

 

`Oh merciful kami, don't let him say anything stupid!' groaned Rouyakan, slapping a hand to her forehead.

 

“My name is Uzumaki Naruto!! And none of you are gonna beat me!” he yelled. “You got that?!”

 

`And of course he says something stupid…' thought Alex, while Rouyakan slapped her forehead again, mumbling, “Open mouth; insert foot. Why didn't he just put out a neon sign that says `Beat me up please'?”

 

“What's his problem?!” shouted Ino. Sakura just shook her head.

 

“Yeah, that felt great!” sighed Naruto. Then he turned and saw Rouyakan and Alex take their weapons out and advance on him. Naruto backed away. Then Cassie came to his rescue,

 

“Now, now don't kill him yet; he still has to compete.” said Cassie with a laugh. (E/N: She's always happy; what's up with that?)

 

“I guess, he can just get kill by everyone in here.” said Rouyakan.

 

`Didn't we meet him earlier?' thought Kankuro, then he noticed Gaara looking at the space were Naruto was backing away from.

 

“Hey Gaara, what are you looking at?” asked Kankuro.

 

“That girl that punched you…” said Gaara.

 

“Yeah don't remind me.” Kankuro chuckled humorlessly as he rubbed his bruised cheek. “It still hurts.”

 

“I don't need to remind you; she's here.” stated Gaara bluntly.

 

“She can't be here! I don't see her, and she's definitely not a shinobi, so she can't be hiding herself!” Sputtered Kankuro. Gaara just stared at Alex.

 

Back with Alex, she felt a sudden chill go up her spine and it freaked her out. She turned and saw Gaara looking right into her eyes. She just stuck her tongue out at him and turned back to everyone before she saw him scowl at her.

 

She saw Sakura strangling Naruto yelling, “What are you blathering about, baka?!”

 

“I'm just telling the truth!”

 

Sakura began to beat the crap out of Naruto.

 

“We have company.” said Rouyakan suddenly.

 

“Really?” said Cassie, looking around.

 

“Just look at the three blurs headed for the bastard (Kabuto).” Rouyakan pointed.

 

The blurs attacked Kabuto, who jerked back to evade all three attacks. It seemed like he was in the clear, but suddenly, his glasses shattered and he threw up. Everyone was surprised because it had seemed like he had dodged every attack.

 

Naruto ran to Kabuto and was yelling, “Kabuto! Hey bro! Are you all right?”

 

“Yeah, I'm fine.” he replied, wiping his mouth.

 

One of the three `blurs' began to speak. “You're a pushover, aren't you? Pretty sad for someone who's been an applicant for four years now.”

 

Then a voice out of no where yelled, “Would everybody please just shut up?!” And everyone spased as a bunch of people appeared in a puff of smoke. A guy in a black trenchcoat appeared to be the leader. “Sorry to have kept you waiting. My name is Morino Ibiki. I'm the chief examiner for the first part of the exam” He turned to the Sound shinobis, threatening them with disqualification if they didn't settle down. Finally, he got down to saying how the first part was a written test. Naruto freaked out, seeing as written test were one of his worst talents. Ibiki gave out seats and the girls each followed one of the team members. Cassie went with Sakura, Rouyakan went with Sasuke, and Alex went with Naruto. Naruto took his seat, somewhat nervously. Someone whispered “Naruto!” and Alex, who was sitting between the two, and Naruto turned to see Hinata.

 

“Oh, I didn't even see you Hinata!” Naruto gave a nervous half-laugh.

 

“L-lets do our best, Naruto-kun!” she said, still with that blush.

 

“Papers face down until I give the signal, now listen up! I'll only say this once!” said Ibiki “Here's the rules: you start off with ten points. If you get a question wrong, you get a point off. And if you're caught cheating, you get two points subtracted from each member of your team.” There was and audible `gulp' from the Genin shinobis.

 

“One more thing,” he said, “if any individual loses all ten of his or her points, that person's entire team, regardless of how the other two members do, will be disqualified.” Said Ibiki, giving a hard stare around the room.

 

Sakura was now ready to get out of her seat and kill Naruto, who looked like he could die right about now, but Cassie held her back. Sasuke just looked a bit shocked, but he sat still in his seat next to Rouyakan, who was mirroring his stony expression. (She wasn't one for the whole `Life's just peachy! Let's go frolic in flowers' attitude.)

 

`I can feel them from here… both wanting to kill me already!' panicked Naruto.

 

“Better pray there's no math on this test, or you're fucked. I've failed my math semester five times now.” said Alex.

 

“Nani?!” whispered Naruto

 

“In my world I'm failing math, so best pray there's no math.” Grinned Alex.

 

“You have one hour starting…now.” Said Ibiki, and everyone got to work.

Naruto was laughing, the quiet, insane kind of laugh that says `I guess I'm really fucked now'.

 

“Okay Naruto, just calm down. Let me see your test.” Said Alex and she looked over it, mumbling, `Wow, this is college material here!' and `Oh shit, can't help you there…'

 

It eventually came down to this: Naruto was officially screwed.

 

“I thought you were supposed to help me not fail!” Naruto frantically whispered. Alex laughed like it was a big joke.

 

“What about question 10?” asked Naruto, whispering behind his hand.

 

“It says: `Question 10 will not be provided until forty-five minutes into the exam'.” Alex read.

 

Now Naruto began to panic. Question ten was his only hope, unless… he got an idea: copy. `I've got to be sly… sneaky.' he thought, looking out of the corner of his eye at Hinata's paper.

 

“Oh, don't worry Naruto!” said Alex. Unfortunately, Hinata heard her and was now looking for who had spoken.

 

“W-who said that?” whispered Hinata, a little paranoid.

 

“Kuso!” said Alex. “I screwed the `don't be seen or heard' plan. Might as well show myself.” and she appeared in front of Hinata (but no one in the room could see except of Sakura, Sasuke, Naruto, and now, Hinata.)

 

“W-w-who are you?” asked Hinata fearfully.

 

“Oh don't be scared, I'm not here to kill you!” said Alex cheerfully. “I'm just helping Naruto. Actually, make that trying to help.”

 

“R-really?” Hinata had forgotten her fear; it was now replaced by curiosity.

 

“Yep, but a lot of these questions are hard.” sighed Alex.

 

“Um- what are you?” asked Hinata “I know you can't be human by the way you appeared, and you don't have a forehead protector, so you're not a shinobi.”

 

“Smart girl! I'm the daughter of Death.” Said Alex. Hinata's already pale face was becoming even more pale, and she was about to back away in fear `til Naruto said, “Don't sweat it Hinata. She won't hurt you; she's really nice.”

 

“Really?” said Hinata.

 

“Yep!” said Alex “I'm not a bitch who's going to kill you. Oh, by the way, don't tell anyone you saw me, okay?”

 

“Why?”

 

“Because my friends are here, and one of them wouldn't hesitate to beat me to within an inch of my life—er, death, or… whatever.” Smiled Alex. Then suddenly, a kunai flew by them and went straight through Alex.

 

“Yeow, that smarts.” said Alex as she began to bleed a bit.

 

“Oh my, are you all right?” exclaimed Hinata worriedly, as an examiner told a team to get out.

 

“It's fine. I've had worse from my fights with Rouyakan, see; it's already healed.” Alex pointed to her stomach. “Oh hey, could you do something nice for Naruto? He's shaking, the poor kid.”

 

“Sure.” said Hinata. Alex then turned to Naruto and said, “I'm going. I can't help you anymore!”

 

“No, stay!” pleaded Naruto.

 

“Fine…” said Alex, and she stayed put in her seat. Naruto began to sweat again, so Hinata turned to him and said, “Hey, N-Naruto-kun, you can look at my paper if you want to...”

 

Naruto now had on a confused face on. “Huh?”

 

“Naruto-kun, y-you can look at my answers, i-if you want, that is…” she stuttered.

 

Naruto got a doubtful look on his face.

“Level with me! What's in it for you if you help me?!”

“It's …It's just--” started Hinata. Then she saw Alex get up and smack Naruto with her scythe and say, “You baka! She's too pure to do something like that, now let her explain herself!”

 

“Naruto-kun, are you all right?” asked Hinata.

 

“He's just fine.” said Alex. “Now continue.”

 

She then fidgeted a bit and then began to speak. “I don't want you… to leave so soon, Naruto-kun…”

 

“Aw, how sweet!” Alex sighed dreamily as she looked at Naruto, but he still had a doubtful look. Hinata began to get really nervous.

 

“W-well you know,” she said as she shook a bit. “there are only nine of us rookies and we don't know what we're facing… the odds will be better for all of us… if we stick together… at least for now.” Then Naruto's suspicion left and he got a smile on his face, saying happily, “Oh… okay! Heh. I guess that makes sense… sorry for doubting you.” Hinata began to slide her paper over to Naruto to show him her answers. Naruto was humming when he was about to look at her answers. And then looked and saw one of the examiners writing on a clipboard, and then he looked up and smiled at Naruto, but unbeknownst to the examiner, Alex was flicking him off, just for the hell of it. Naruto looked at Hinata and said, “Hinata, don't you get it?”

 

“Huh?” Hinata questioningly asked.

 

“A world-class shinobi like myself just isn't the kind of guy who cheats!” he exclaimed, “Or gets help from others.” he said, looking at Alex.

 

“Fine, I'll go.” she said, getting on her scythe and flying around the room, but stayed close so she could here the rest of the conversation.

 

“B-but Naruto-kun…” Hinata began.

 

“Besides if I get busted… I don't want you to pay for having helped me!” exclaimed Naruto.

 

“I-I'm sorry I bothered you…” said Hinata, looking down and blushing.

 

“Hey, no problem.” Said Naruto. He turned around, and began to regret what he did, after all, he was failing!

 

Now Alex was bored beyond belief and was now flying around just doing nothing. She had told Cassie and Rouyakan that Naruto told her that he didn't need any help. Sakura nearly fell out of her seat when she saw Alex just hovering around and Sasuke glared at her and shook his head. Alex, surveying the room, noticed Gaara and something forming in his hand. She looked a little harder and saw that it was an eye. He then squished it and sand went everywhere. Interested, she followed it, and she saw that it was forming over someone's paper so he could copy off them. She then smirked, for she had a wicked idea, and she pulled out a fly swatter. Rouyakan, who was with Sasuke, saw this and knew something was going to go wrong.

 

“Excuse me, Sasuke I have to go stop Alex from doing something more stupid than she's capable of under normal circumstances.” Rouyakan whispered, leaving to go see what Alex was up to.

 

Meanwhile Alex was saw the eye and she readied her flyswatter, smacked it down, and yelled out, “Fly Swatter Of Doom!” with an insanely happy look on her face. Gaara, surprised that the girl could break his Third-Eye spell, (remember, he can see her) growled in frustration. Everyone else was surprised that someone had yelled out loud. Rouyakan, finally reaching Alex, tackled her to the ground and put her hands over her mouth. A mini scuffle broke out between the two, as Rouyakan struggled with holding Alex down. Finally, Rouyakan prevailed, pinning Alex to the ground with one hand and keeping her mouth covered with the other, lest Alex tried to say something stupid again.

 

“Okay, who the fuck yelled that?!” yelled Ibiki. No one answered him, afraid of the consequences. He then turned to the examiners and barked out, “Which one of these brats yelled that?”

 

“We didn't see anyone, sir.” said one of the examiners.

 

“What the hell--?!” Ibiki was confused. “Okay, stop the test!”

 

“Uh, sir, we can't stop it.” said another examiner.

 

“Damn, I guess I have to let this go…” said Ibiki. Kankuro raised his hand.

 

“Excuse me!” He said.

 

“Huh?” one of the examiners looked towards him.

 

“I've got to go the bathroom.”

 

The examiner stood up. “Of course, one of the examiners will accompany you.”

 

“Why not?” Kankuro shrugged.

 

Cassie had to go the bathroom as well and thought she should leave when they left. So she told Sakura that she was going to the bathroom and left the room, running down the hall and found the first available bathroom, not bothering to read the sign. Running in, she heard voices.

 

“They think they're so slick!” the voice exclaimed as the bathroom door opened, and Cassie rushed in, stopping when she saw Kankuro. Kankuro turned and saw Cassie (she had taken the spell off herself).

 

“What the hell?!” he started.

 

“Oh shit, wrong bathroom!” said Cassie.

 

“Get out!” yelled Kankuro, embarrassed.

 

“No way, Jose.” And with that said, she ran for a stall. When she was done she saw Kankuro just staring at her.

 

“What?” Cassie shrugged innocently, and she was about to leave when she turned and said, “Oh, by the way, nice penis.” Kankuro just looked down and saw that his penis was out, and he roared, “Get out!!”

 

Back in the classroom Ibiki then said that he was going to hand out the tenth question.

 

“Before we get to the question itself… I'm adding one more new rule.” said Ibiki. The door opened, and Kankuro and Cassie came in.

“Heh… looks like you're in luck, the time you've spent playing with dolls hasn't been completely wasted.” said Ibiki jokingly, then the three girls couldn't contain themselves any longer. They burst out laughing. Ibiki just rolled his eyes.

 

“Great, we have ghosts,” mumbled Ibiki. “Or something else.” He then looked directly at Rouyakan and Alex. (They were still on the ground, and Rouyakan was still pinning Alex.)

 

`Does he see us?' wondered Rouyakan. `No, he probably just senses us.'

 

`Heh heh, that red-headed jerk got what he deserved!' thought Alex. `…Hey, it's Panty-Ruiner!' (a.k.a Kankuro)

 

“Okay, let's get back to business. Let me explain. This rule is absolute.”

 

Naruto was now looking worried

 

“First, you must choose whether to accept or reject this tenth question!” said Ibiki.

 

Suddenly, Temari yelled, “Ch-chose? What happens if someone doesn't accept the question?”

 

“If you reject the question and don't even try to answer it, you'll lose all you points immediately… and fail! And both of your teammates will fail right along with you.” Answered Ibiki. Lots of people began to question why they would have to choose.

 

Ibiki answered, “Because of the other rule.”

 

Sakura looked shocked. “Are you okay?” asked Cassie as she sat down next to Sakura.

 

“Yeah, I'm fine. It's Naruto I'm worried about.” Said Sakura, glancing over at Naruto.

 

Ibiki continued his lecture. “If you try to answer the question and you get it wrong you will never be permitted to apply for the Chunin exam again. Not ever!”

 

The guy with the dog on his head shouted, “You can't be serious! That's ridiculous! There are shinobi here who've come for the Chunin exams more that once already!! We know there are!”

 

“Just your rotten luck. I wasn't making the rules in past years. I am now.” Damn, that Ibiki was getting smug.

 

“That's harsh.” said Rouyakan as she released Alex (after hissing a warning that promised much pain if Alex did something idiotic again) and sat back down next to Sasuke. Alex sat down next to Naruto, her recent fun being spoiled.

 

“Ready? Then let's begin.” said Ibiki. “Those who choose not to accept should raise their hands. Once their cell number has been confirmed, they will leave the room.” Alex noticed that Naruto seemed to be having a mental breakdown.

 

“Calm down, and don't think about it. Just do what you think is right.” said Alex as another team left. Naruto started to raise his hand. He was shaking. Sasuke and Sakura looked on with a mixture of shock and horror written on their faces.

 

`Baka! Don't give up!' Alex screamed in her head.

 

“Never underestimate me!!! I don't quit and I don't run!!” yelled Naruto, slamming his hand back down forcefully on the table. “I'll accept your stupid question!! Even if I risk ending up a Genin for the rest of my life, I'll still become Hokage, even if I have to make it by pure stubbornness! I don't care!!”

 

Alex smacked her forehead. “Naruto, you're a baka, you could've just stopped after `I don't quit and I won't run'!” said Alex.

 

“I'll ask you one last time” said Ibiki. “This is a decision that could affect the rest of your life. Quit now while you still have a chance.”

 

“I never go back on my word because it's part of my shinobi law!” exclaimed Naruto.

 

“Nice save!” whispered Alex, giving him a thumbs-up.

 

“Good call. Everyone who is still here, you've just passed the first exam.” said Ibiki and the entire room went into shock. Ibiki continued his speech. “So, all seventy-eight of you left, you've just passed the first exam.”

 

Sakura said “What do you mean `passed? When did that happen?”

 

“I think when he said we passed.” said Cassie. Sakura just looked at Cassie, and then continued asking questions, “What about the tenth question?” Ibiki got a big smile on his face and said, “There is not tenth question beyond the whole accept-or-reject thing.” Temari shouted out, “Why did you give us the other nine questions?”

 

Ibiki began to explain, “ We were testing your spying skills. There were two other people, both Chunins, who were test-takers. We wanted to see if you could figure out that they were here, and if you could copy from them without being caught.”

 

Naruto said, “Huh. It was obvious they were there.” Alex just rolled her eyes.

 

Ibiki then told them about how it was good practice for collecting information. He showed everyone his head, which was govered in scars and holes from nails. Everyone got disgusted, except for the girls who had seen worse. “There are people who will do anything to get information form you.” Ibiki explained.

 

As he was finishing his speech and putting his forehead protector back on, a zooming black figure came whirling into the room, tacking up a black curtain with kunai, struck a dramatic pose and yelled, “None of you are in any position to celebrate yet! I am the second chief examination officer… Mitarashi Anko!!” The woman looked mighty confident of herself.

 

“Damn, this bitch is cool!” said Rouyakan, earning a rather confused look from Sasuke.

 

“She's so cool!” said Cassie to Sakura.

 

“That bitch must be kick-ass!!” said Alex to Naruto, who nodded.

 

“Time's a-wastin' people! Lets go!!” said Anko. “Follow me!!”

 

“Anko, I wasn't finished yet.” Ibiki glared at her, while she blushed, embarrassed.

 

“Well, whatever, I'll cut down this number by half before the next test is done.” she said. This earned a small, surprised gasp from the people remaining.

 

“Oh great, another hot-headed one. Her personality matches perfectly with Naruto's.' thought Rouyakan, getting up and beginning to leave.

 

The class exited out along with the girls, and Anko lead them to a big fenced-in forest. “This is the arena for the second exam: Training Ground 44.” she explained, “Also know as the `Forest of Death'.” She emphasized on the `death' part.

`Oh please, this is less scary than hell itself.' thought Alex as she rolled her eyes.