Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Insanely Yours ❯ In Over My Head ( Chapter 16 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
Chapter Sixteen: In Over My Head
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While trying to control his gag reflex, Naruto forced down the remainder of his breakfast. He washed it down with a tall glass of orange juice, hoping that the liquid would wash the terrible taste out of his mouth. He swore to himself that on the day he left this place, he would tell Shizune that she needed to learn how to cook. Naruto looked over at Shikamaru who was slowly finishing his breakfast, and he wondered how he'd eaten the food for so many years.
Naruto stood up from the table. "Even I could cook better than this, jeez." He thought to himself as he went to throw his tray into the trash.
"...My God. What are you, pregnant?" Naruto heard Sakura's voice and the sound of her walking up behind him. The girl was smoking a cigarette and she hid her lighter as she approached Naruto. "You're fucking glowing, stop it." She teased.
An involuntary blush spread across Naruto's cheeks. "Sorry?" he laughed, albeit nervously. Sakura blew smoke out of her mouth and sighed.
"Why are you looking so happy, anyway?" she questioned, leaning forward as if she wanted to get a better look at Naruto. "What's there to be happy about here?" she asked him.
The boy only shrugged his shoulders, trying to seem calm and nonchalant. "Uh...I dunno, I'm just...having a good day is all." He lied. Sakura rolled her eyes at him and placed her hand on her hip, giving Naruto a disapproving look.
"Lying doesn't suit you, you know." She told him. Naruto rubbed the back of his head nervously; was he really that obvious? "You're a weird one."
Naruto laughed anxiously, hoping Sakura would drop the subject. "As if I haven't heard that before." He smiled. Sakura smiled weakly, shaking her head while she took a drag from her cigarette and walked away.
After she was gone, Naruto actually felt like he could breathe. Did he really look that happy? Was he honestly so transparent and easy to figure out? And why the hell was he glowing?! He wasn't some pregnant woman- men don't glow! The boy ran his fingers through his hair while he took a deep breath- he was letting his emotions get out of control.
But, the day before had been so amazing that Naruto hadn't been able to contain himself- he was just oozing with delight. He could remember every single detail of that day, and every time he thought about, it he'd get this goofy smile on his face and this dazed look, and he'd have to snap out of it and force himself to stop before someone noticed.
Yup, he was losing his mind. After being here for almost half a year, Naruto was definitely losing his mind. Well, at least he was in the place where they'd find it for him.
The dining room emptied quickly because all of the patients had been informed of the day's activities. Right after breakfast, they'd have group therapy and after dinner, there'd be art therapy. Kurenai had told them that she was now the head of the therapy department, and so she would handle everything that involved therapy with the groups in this unit.
Quickly, Naruto made his way towards the activities room. He noticed that he was the last person to arrive, and he also noticed that Sai was not in the room again. Naruto attempted to hold back the fretful feeling that tightened in his chest when he entered the room. Of course he was still worried about Sai, but he realized that Sai was trying to find his own way to cope with his problems, a way that didn't involve Naruto. Sai had been managing his own problems long before Naruto had come along, and so the blonde decided that he would let Sai deal with things by himself, and only intervene if Sai asked for his help.
When Naruto entered the room, he saw that none of the patients were sitting down- they were all gathered near Kurenai on the other side of the empty room. She seemed to have been talking to them as Naruto had walked over.
"...trust exercises. Meaning, everyone will get a partner. And after the exercise you will switch partners and repeat the process. Are we clear on things?" she asked. Everyone nodded their heads. "Good. Now, everyone grab a partner and we'll start the exercise- the trust fall. You will fall backward toward your partner, trusting that they will successfully catch you."
All of the patients stared around at eachother warily. It was obvious that there wasn't much trust in this room.
Kurenai suggested that Naruto and Sakura be the first pair to go up. Naruto had no problem trusting that Sakura would catch him, save for the fact that he was worried that she wouldn't be able to support his weight. In the shape that she was in, she wasn't the strongest of people. But, she managed to catch Naruto and push him right back up. When it was her time to fall, she gave Naruto a skeptical look.
"Are you sure you're going to catch me?" she questioned, staring at him suspiciously.
Naruto smiled and held out his arms. "C'mon Sakura-chan," he told her in an affectionate tone. "You can trust me!" The girl shook her head at his odd enthusiasm and turned around so that her back was facing him. Slowly, she took a deep breath and let herself fall into his arms. Naruto caught her without a single problem. She was so light that he probably could've held her and spun her around a couple times if he'd wanted to.
When he and Sakura had completed their turn, Kurenai brought Shikamaru and Haku up. The two of them were close friends, so they both caught eachother without fail. Next were Neji and Hinata. Surprisingly, Hinata caught her cousin without faltering even once, and Neji did the same for her. The two of them completed their turn in utter silence, neither of them speaking a word. The last pair to go was Gaara and Kiba.
"S-So you're g-gonna c-catch me, right?" Kiba asked, stuttering nervously as he looked over at Gaara. The redhead glowered at him menacingly, keeping his arms crossed.
"I have no intention of doing such a thing." He growled. "I'd let you fall and watch your brains splatter across the floor without even batting an eye-"
"-Sabaku." Kurenai glared at Gaara coldly. "I think that's enough. Please go and take your seat." She motioned over towards the circle. Everyone stared at the woman as if she'd gone crazy. Was she trying to get herself killed? Gaara was a loose cannon; no one ever told him what to do, lest they fancied dying a cruel and painful death. All the patients held their breath while they waited for Gaara to either walk away or pick up some inanimate object and chuck it at Kurenai's head.
He silently chose the former.
Thank goodness.
The patients switched partners and Naruto then found himself partnered with Neji...unfortunately. The two males stood in front of eachother, Neji's had his arms crossed over his broad chest, and Naruto was fidgeting frantically. He couldn't even keep eye contact with the Hyuga. Naruto felt that if he were to look at Neji the wrong way, he'd fly off the handle and attack him. Psh, and people thought Gaara was insane. At least you knew what to expect from him! Neji was unpredictable; one moment, he'd seem calm, and then the next, he'd be screaming at the top of his lungs and cursing anyone who was within two feet of him.
"Kurenai! Um, Help??" Everyone turned when they heard Haku call out in distress. He was kneeling on the floor with a very much unconscious Shikamaru in his arms. "I went to catch him and he- well look at him! He's out cold!"
Quickly, Kurenai left the room, but she was back before anyone could blink. With her, she brought two of the nurse's aids and they carried a snoring Shikamaru out of the room.
Naruto's next partner was Kiba. Frankly, Kiba had become one of Naruto's good friends here, and so he trusted him fully. More than anyone, Naruto trusted Kiba. And Kiba didn't even bother asking Naruto whether or not he'd catch him as he'd done with Gaara. Naruto could be trusted. Gaara obviously could not.
Afterwards, Naruto was partnered with Haku and Hinata. There'd been no problems with Haku, who didn't take the exercise seriously in the least, but it had been impossible to get Hinata to fall into his arms. The silent girl had just stood there, covering her mouth and staring at Naruto's outstretched arms. In the end, Naruto gave up because he saw Neji glaring at him from across the room. If Hinata didn't want to cooperate, that was fine...everything would be fine, just as long as Neji didn't attack anyone.
Last but not least, Naruto was paired up with Sasuke. The raven walked over to Naruto with a smirk on his face and he stopped a few feet in front of him. "Don't drop me, dobe." He said in a voice that obviously showed he was teasing Naruto. Said blond stuck his tongue out at Sasuke and held out his arms.
"I should let you fall, just for that." He rolled his eyes. "Just fall already, teme." And he did. Of course, Naruto caught him, and vice versa. "So he trusts me. I guess that's good to know." Naruto thought to himself. He couldn't help the dopey smile that spread over his face at the thought. He may as well have just swooned, sighed, and melted into a puddle of mush at that point.
The activity ended when everyone was finished, and Kurenai led the group over to the circle of chairs. They all took their seats quickly.
"As you all have probably noticed," Kurenai began, motioning towards the white board behind her. 'Trust' was written in red marker. "Today's session was all about trust. It's good for all of you to have a sense of trust within the group, because then it should be easier to speak freely and trust the group with the information that is shared." The woman clasped her hands together and smiled friendlily. "I'd like everyone to name the person, or people, that they trust the most, and why you trust them so much." She announced.
Gaara was the first person on Kurenai's left and so he spoke first. "I trust no one." He stated, firmly. Neji was next.
"Pass."
Then there was Kiba. "I'd say...my best friend." He paused, biting back his stutter. "Shino. We've b-been...best friends since we were in kindergarten. He's always been th-there for me." He told them. The next person to speak was Sakura.
"My father...I trust him the most." She admitted, while fiddling with her hands in her lap. "He always, always, knew what was best for me- even when my mother and I didn't." Haku was up after Sakura.
He smiled as he spoke. "Zabuza, obviously." He grinned. "He's the one who...the one who decided that I should come here. If it weren't for him, I might be dead right now." Haku's statement shocked a few in the circle, the few being Naruto and Kiba.
"Dead?" Naruto gave him an odd look. "Dead why?" he repeated.
Haku clasped his hands together in his lap and took a deep breath before he spoke to Naruto. "Dead because...I would've very well killed myself- not intentionally, mind you." He paused, breathing again. "I was...we were on drugs, hard drugs. And Zabuza...well after he got clean, he sent me here, against my will of course. But had it not been for him I probably would've died from all the stuff I was taking." A small smile returned to Haku's face as he stared down at his hands. "I...I trust him with my life."
"Thank you for sharing, Haku." Kurenai smiled warmly at the boy. He nodded, acknowledging her words. Her eyes then darted to Hinata, who was next. The girl knew it was her turn but instead of speaking, she buried her face in Neji's shoulder. Kurenai didn't bother trying to get her to talk, and her attention then landed on Sasuke and Naruto. "Which of you would like to go next?" she asked.
Naruto glanced sideways at Sasuke who was just as silent as he. Neither of them spoke, and Kurenai sighed. "Naruto, why don't you go?" she suggested. Naruto rolled his eyes- trust her to pick the more talkative of the two.
The blond boy shrugged his shoulders and blew his fringe out of his eyes before talking. "I guess it'd have to be my stepsister, Aya. That girl is my total savior- she'd do virtually anything for me, honestly. There've been times that I've done some pretty dumb stuff, but she was always there to make everything good again. Like, we tell eachother almost everything, and without her I would've...lost me." Naruto smiled to himself. "I trust her the most."
Kurenai nodded and then looked over at Sasuke expectantly. The raven's arms were crossed over his chest and he had a scowl on his face- nothing new. "My brother, Itachi." He stated. "I don't need to give reasons why; I just trust him."
"Thank you Sasuke, and everyone." Kurenai told them. "It's nice to know that most of you have someone that you can fully put trust into. And I wonder," she paused. "If any of you notice how these relationships filled with trust differ from the others. When you put your trust in someone, you can feel secure and safe. You trust this person with everything, even your life. You know that no matter what happens, they'll be there for you without question. You trust this person to help you when you need it, yes?"
Most of the patients nodded. Kurenai continued. "So how would you expect someone, who had no one to trust, to recover? Mentally, having relationships keep us stimulated. How would any of us be normal if we had no one? Without trust, we would all constantly live in fear. We would live suppressed lives, unable to grow as people."
"Building trust isn't easy, Kurenai." Sakura spoke up. "Even when you think you can trust someone, you're still putting yourself at risk of getting hurt."
"And h-how can someone trust anyone after being hurt?" Kiba added.
"They just learn from it, and grow from it." She told them. "No one should let one incident dictate how they'll spend the rest of their lives, or how they'll react to others around them. Having trust in someone is...a beautiful thing."
The room stayed silent until Kurenai told everyone that they could leave. Most of them headed to the tv room, and Naruto would've gone as well if Sasuke wouldn't have grabbed him and dragged him the other way.
"Hey, teme, what's with the grabby-pully?" he questioned. "Where the hell are you taking me?"
"I want..." Sasuke paused, giving Naruto a look that the blonde had never seen before. He was...nervous? "Earlier this morning, my brother called to tell me that he was visiting today and I want...I want you to meet him." Naruto's eyebrows rose and his mouth formed an 'o'.
"Really? Like, for real?" he asked.
Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Are you deaf, dobe?" he raised an eyebrow. Naruto almost smiled.
"Um, okay," he said. "But you could've told me that before you started dragging me down the hallway."
He started dragging him again. "Hn, whatever."
The two boys went straight to the lobby and, already, Sasuke's brother was there. There was also another man standing there with him. He had blonde hair that was pulled back into a sophisticated ponytail, and he smiled when he saw Sasuke.
"Hello, Sasuke-san." He greeted. His eyes landed on Naruto. "Naruto-san." He nodded.
"Uh, hi?" Naruto didn't know whether or not he should be freaked out that a random stranger knew his name. Of course, Sasuke took it upon himself to introduce everyone.
"This is my brother's...caretaker, Deidara." Sasuke told Naruto. Naruto wondered why Sasuke's brother would need a caretaker, but then when he actually looked at his brother, he realized why. The man was ridiculously thin; his weight could probably rival Sakura's. He had profound bags under his eyes, which were pale ghosts of the shade that they used to be. It was then that Naruto noticed the walking stick in Sasuke's brother's hand. He was blind.
"So you're the boy that my brother's taken a liking to?" he questioned, extending his hand toward Naruto.
The blond blushed, shaking hands with Sasuke's brother. "Yeah, I guess." He said nervously. The older man nodded his head and his sightless eyes met Naruto's.
"Uchiha Itachi, it's a pleasure."
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The longer he watched him sit there, the more useless Naruto felt.
They were friends, right? So why wouldn't he just let Naruto in?
Naruto watched helplessly as Sai sat at the farthest end of the table, picking and staring at his dinner disinterestedly. Somehow, he'd been either coaxed or forced out of his room, and now he was sitting at the table looking more miserable than Naruto had ever seen him. Sai's skin looked paler than normal, his hair was all over his head, and there were purple bags under his eyes. Either he'd been crying, not sleeping, or both.
Earlier, Naruto had tried to go up to Sai and talk to him. When Naruto had asked how he was, Sai replied 'Fine'. When Naruto asked if Sai wanted to talk about it, he promptly told him no. And before Naruto walked away he asked Sai if he was okay. The boy closed his eyes and sighed before saying 'No.'
Okay, Naruto knew that he'd told himself that he wouldn't interfere, but Sai was his friend. He couldn't just sit back and watch him suffer! He wanted to do something, anything, but what was there that he could do? Sai obviously wished to shut him out, so what was there that Naruto could do to break past all of those barriers.
"I should learn to mind my business, that's what." Naruto wished he could slap his conscience in the face.
Before dinner, Naruto had gone to sit in the tv room. But he hadn't even been able to sit comfortably without Sai being there; the room just wasn't the same without him. Naruto never noticed how much time he actually spent with Sai until they'd stopped.
Since there wasn't much else that he could do, Naruto just hoped that his friend would get better soon. Naruto had to keep reminding himself that Sai was an adult, and that he could most definitely handle himself.
"If you keep worrying so much," Naruto looked up to see Haku's face hovering in front of his. The boy touched the place between Naruto's eyebrows. "You're gonna get wrinkles, right here."
"I'm not worrying." Naruto swatted Haku's hand away.
Haku placed a hand on his hip and smiled. "You're a terrible liar." He laughed. Naruto only sighed.
"So I've been told." He mumbled. Haku grabbed Naruto's arm while laughing and pulling him from his seat.
"Come on emo-kid, get up!" he urged.
Naruto gave him an odd look. "What's got you so excited, huh?" he asked while complying to Haku's wishes and standing up. Haku only smiled and pressed a finger to his lips.
"Sorry, can't tell you. It's a secret!"
The boy didn't even give Naruto time to ask any more questions because he was pushing him down the hallway, telling him that he needed to cheer up. Naruto tried to tell Haku that he was cheery enough, but the boy didn't buy it. He pushed Naruto down the long corridor and then turned right, into the art room. Not many of the patients were here yet; only Sasuke, Shikamaru and Kiba were there. Haku pushed Naruto towards the table where Sasuke was sitting.
"There's your lover-boy, maybe he can cheer you up." Haku waggled his eyebrows in a suggestive manner, but Naruto just blushed and tried to ignore him. Haku forced Naruto to sit down next to Sasuke, who ignored the both of them. "Why don't you draw something happy? Like flowers, or smiley faces, or rainbows-"
"-Haku-"
"-Or bunnies, or puppies, or kitties-
"-Haku-"
"-Or maybe a cool sun wearing sunglasses...that'd make you happy, right?-"
"-If you don't get the hell away from this table," Sasuke began, shooting Haku the coldest, iciest glare. "I am going to stab you with a paint brush. Have you already forgotten the incident with Gaara? Because I can surely remind you."
Haku was gone before Sasuke even finished his last sentence.
Naruto turned to Sasuke with an expression of pure bewilderment on his face. "Harsh much?" He watched Sasuke shrug his shoulders carelessly.
"He was annoying me." He stated. "If you ever started running off at the mouth like that, I'd threaten you too." Naruto smiled goofily and laughed.
"Yeah, but you'd never go through with it." He told him. Sasuke raised an eyebrow.
"Wanna bet?"
...No, Naruto did not want to bet.
For a while, Naruto sat with Sasuke at their table while he drew. Naruto didn't know what he wanted to draw. This time, Kurenai hadn't given them a topic at all; she'd just brought them in here to draw. Naruto had to draw something, or else they'd think something was wrong with him. Well...okay, there were plenty of things wrong with him, but that's besides the point...
In the middle of the session, Iruka came into the room, asking for Sasuke. The Uchiha obediently got up and left the room with the Aid, leaving Naruto all alone. Since Naruto didn't want to be at the table by himself, he chose to find someone else to sit with. Had Sai have been there, Naruto would've sat with him. But since he wasn't, Naruto would have to find somewhere else to go. He didn't want to sit with Haku, who was being particularly annoying today, nor with Sakura, who'd been being nosy. Kiba was sitting with Neji, and Shikamaru was asleep. So, the only person left to sit with was Hinata.
Naruto glanced sideways at Neji, who was at the opposite side of the room, and then at Hinata, who was only two tables in front of him. If Neji tried to kill Naruto, someone would stop him before he got there, right? Sure...
Quickly, Naruto went straight over to sit down at Hinata's table. When he sat down next to her, a surprised expression came over her face. He smiled kindly at her. "You don't mind if I sit with you, huh Hinata-chan?" he asked. The girl only blinked at him twice before turning back to her drawing. Naruto laid his paper out onto the table and sighed.
He sat there for ages, just staring at his blank paper. The only thing that snapped him out of his stupor was the feeling of Hinata's fingers curling around his hand. He looked up at her, surprised, and she pointed to her drawing paper.
"What is it, Hina-" Naruto stopped short when he took a look at her drawing. The entire background of her paper was colored purple and there were lines spiraling out from the middle of the paper. The middle of the spiral couldn't be seen because they were covered by a red sun. Naruto looked up at the girl and smiled at her again. "This is so cool! You're really good!" he praised her. Her cold fingers gripped his hand tighter and it almost looked like she wanted to smile at Naruto.
The blonde leaned over to her and whispered. "You know something, Hinata?" he began, "I think we'll be good friends...just don't tell Neji."
And she almost laughed.
Naruto would've hugged her too, if Neji wouldn't have been in the room.
Art therapy only lasted for a few more minutes. Naruto had been forced, by Haku, to draw an enormous sun wearing sunglasses. When Naruto handed the picture to Kurenai at the end of the session, she stared at it with a rather confused expression on her face. Naruto had to hide his amusement.
When Naruto left the art room, he decided to head to his room because there wasn't anything better to do. He hadn't known where Sasuke had gone until he passed the phone booths and saw the raven getting off of the phone. When he saw Naruto, a tiny smirk crossed his lips. Naruto had to fight back the blush that threatened to spread across his cheeks- he knew what that smirk meant. And when Sasuke stood up from the booth and walked over to Naruto, the same old dopey smile came forth.
Sasuke didn't bother asking where they were going, since they were heading in the direction of Naruto's room. But before they could get there, they were stopped dead in the middle of the hallway by none other than Shizune. The woman stared at them suspiciously, placing a hand on her hip.
"And where are you two going?" she asked.
While Sasuke remained silent, Naruto started lying. "We uh...going to my room to...look at a couple of my photo albums." He fibbed.
Shizune shot him a skeptical glare. "Is that so?" she questioned. Naruto nodded. "Well, I expect to see the both of you in the tv room in ten minutes. Is that clear?" she ordered. Naruto only nodded again and when she started walking away, he practically piss-bolted down the rest of the hallway.
And as soon as they got into his room and closed the door, Sasuke slammed him up against the wall and started kissing him as if he hadn't seen him in years. Naruto couldn't stop the wave of butterflies fluttering in his stomach. "You act like you haven't seen me in forever." He muttered between kisses. Then he laughed. "Maybe you just missed me that much-"
"-shut up."
Somehow, the two of them managed to make their way over to Naruto's bed. Naruto made Sasuke sit down on the edge of it and then he knelt down on the floor, between Sasuke's legs. Sasuke leaned down to kiss Naruto. "What do you think you're doing?" he asked in a low voice.
A mischievous smirk came onto Naruto's lips. "What do you think I'm doing?"
Sasuke's hand gripped the back of Naruto's neck, forcing the blonde into a rough kiss. While Naruto let Sasuke leave all types of new marks across his neck, he made it a point to reach forward and begin unbuckling Sasuke's jeans. He was more eager than ever before, probably because he'd been deprived of all intimate activities for months.
When Sasuke bit down on a particularly sensitive part of Naruto's neck, the blonde's entire body trembled. "Stop doing that, prick." He mumbled. Sasuke let out a low, dark laugh, and did it again.
"Sasuke-"
"-Naruto! Guess what...I'm...here...you..."
Awkward Silence.
Naruto's eyes grew as large as saucers as he stared at his sister, who was standing in his doorway with her jaw hanging, her eyes wide, and her arms hanging listlessly at her sides. Naruto was frozen on the spot- his words were caught in his throat.
Fuck-fuck-fuckity-fuck
"Shit, Aya I-" he couldn't even finish his sentence before Aya stepped out of the room, slamming the door behind her. Naruto stood up from the floor and straightened his shirt, smoothed down his hair and thought about the most mood-killing image to get rid of the ever hardening boner he was sporting. He glanced from the door, to Sasuke, to the door and then back at Sasuke. Naruto felt like a kid who'd just gotten caught stealing candy...only ten times worse. "I'm so stupid...sooooo stupid."
"Tell me something I don't know." Sasuke muttered under his breath. Naruto glared at him angrily.
"You're not helping, asshole!" he yelled. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders and Naruto let out a ragged, frustrated breath. "She didn't know!" he confessed. Sasuke stared at him perplexedly.
"Your sister didn't know..." he paused "How the hell did you get away with that one?"
Naruto put his face in his hands and sighed, obviously aggravated. "I need to talk to her," he began. "You...should probably go." He told Sasuke. The raven nodded and stood up from the bed as he buckled his pants. "I'm sorry."
Sasuke shook his head and walked to the door. "Don't be."
Once he'd left the room, Naruto was free to have his mini-meltdown. He grabbed a pillow, bit into it and screamed. "Why the hell did this have to happen?!" he shouted "I kept it a secret for years, and to have her find out at the worst of times!! Great! Fucking great!" he yelled at himself and tossed the pillow onto the bed before grabbing his hair and releasing a mangled scream. "Why-why-fucking-why?!"
Suddenly, there was a knock at the door. Naruto instantly stopped freaking out, took a deep breath, and answered. "...come in." he said. The door opened and in walked Shizune, followed by Aya, who was as white as a sheet.
The elder woman was glaring at Naruto menacingly- she knew. Shizune coaxed Aya into the room, while still managing to glare at Naruto, and when Aya was inside the room, Shizune left. Aya didn't even bother to look at her brother. She just stared down at her feet silently, twiddling her thumbs and biting her lip. It wasn't hard to see where Naruto had learned all of his nervous habits. Soon, Naruto noticed that he hadn't truly been breathing. And when he let out a breath, words came with it.
"I like guys." He blurted out.
Aya kept her eyes on the ground. "I came here to...sign you out until tomorrow. You should probably pack your things-"
"-Aya I just confessed to being gay and you're acting like I didn't say anything." He accused. The girl remained quiet. "Aya!-"
"-Can we just talk about this another time?!?" she screeched, rendering Naruto silent. He didn't even bother trying to stop her when she walked out the door.
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Peace & Love: DizziKatz