Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Iruka's obsession ❯ Part 18 ( Chapter 18 )

A/N- I'm sorry for the delay. I just finished posting a 1x5 mpreg so yeah, I have an excuse.

 

Part 18

 

“It was not until you came on that mission with me that I realized just how much you were like him …my sensei, I mean,” Kakashi said, leaning back into his chair as if getting ready to continue with the topic.

 

Iruka opened his mouth to ask why Kakashi had said that after having just told Iruka he was nothing like the Fourth, when the sound of nails on wooden floorboards announced Pakkun's arrival.

 

“What's all the shouting about?” he demanded loudly, sounding more like an adult than either of them had a few minutes ago.

 

“Nothing,” Iruka answered hastily.

 

“Don't give me nothing,” Pakkun said clearly annoyed. “What's all the fuss about - is it the food?”

 

“No,” said Iruka who thought boxed miso-ramen one step below mission food; with mission food at least, you just put it in your mouth and chewed, you did not need to think about adding hot water.

 

“I knew it …” Pakkun continued warming up to his own topic. “I told him we should wait a little before giving a thank-you dinner, but nooooooo, he had to get it over with as soon as possible.”

 

“Pakkun,” Kakashi said in a warning tone, which the pug overlooked.

 

“I told him we didn't have real food, since our lord and master was out on a mission for a few weeks, and all the perishables…”

 

Iruka blinked; had the pug just referred to Kakashi as lord and master in a sarcastic tone which suggested just the opposite?

 

“I told you to stock up on food,” Kakashi interrupted. “And I did not mean liver.”

 

“Who was too mean to leave enough money to run this household properly?” Pakkun shot back.

 

“Who told you to go and buy chicken liver?; do you know how expensive that is?” Kakashi yelled back.

 

Iruka looked from one to the other, confirmed neither looked angry, and came to the conclusion that this was a regular occurrence. Still, why would Kakashi want the dinner with him over with as soon as possible? Didn't you get unpleasant things out of the way quickly - did that mean dinner with Iruka was a chore to get through as quickly as possible?. With a sigh, Iruka turned his head to listen to the rest of the argument, which sounded like a rattled-off expense sheet as the two debated the cost of each article …

 

“Why was it necessary for you to use conditioner? I never use conditioner,” Kakashi was shouting.

 

“Exactly,” Pakkun shouted back.

 

Iruka thought it an excellent time for him to sneak away, but the moment he got to his feet, Pakkun's attention was diverted to another household problem. He looked up, sniffed the air and then trotted out of the dining room yelling, “All right, who was the smart ass that peed on the doorpost. I want him here now; there's only one alpha dog here, and that's me. If there is any territory to be marked that's going to be done under supervision, so …”

 

“Sit down, sensei,” Kakashi said with a wave of the hand, running his other hand through his hair in a manner which indicated he was tired. “Butt-sniffing and all is going to keep Pakkun occupied for at least another half an hour. Don't let him scare you away.”

 

“I'm not …” Iruka started to say, then realized that if he was tired, then Kakashi must also be tired. The Copy-nin had been undercover a lot longer than Iruka had been, and he had come back from the mission and had to deal with fifteen dogs - neurotic dogs at that--on the top of everything. “We can continue this discussion later,” he said a little more calmly. “You must be tired; I know I am, and we've both got mission reports to hand over.” There, that sounded reasonable, didn't it?

 

“Come on,” said Kakashi getting up quickly. “While they're busy aroma-categorizing pee puddles, I want to show you something.”

 

“Oh?” Iruka asked slightly curious.

 

“It's in my bedroom,” Kakashi answered cryptically.

 

Iruka blushed slightly and wondered if it was good idea to follow the Icha-Icha-reading pervert into his bedroom. When Iruka had been small, his maternal grandmother, who for some reason had thought he was a girl (or was aware of his sexual preferences before he was), had taught him the dangers of following strange men into their bedrooms.

 

While Kakashi did not qualify as a stranger, he did qualify as a strange man. Oh, well, thought Iruka with a mental shrug, it wasn't as if he had not seen it all before, and it was just wishful thinking on his part if he thought Kakashi was going to ravish him. Ravish - did he really think “ravish” ? -- he must be tired if he was describing his life in Icha-Icha terms.

 

Kakashi's bedroom was rather nice, if a little on the bare side, green bedspread, a table with papers scattered on it and the side table. [2] On the far side was a walk-in closet and a few other odd items. The window opened to rooftops, and a rather nice view of the Hokage Mountain, but the view was offset by the fine netting of chakra wire that acted as a barrier keeping the outside world separate from the inside. The room was devoid of any personal touches apart from two photos, one of Kakashi with team seven and the other of Kakashi's own genin team with the Fourth. It was such a bitter reminder of all that was gone and lost that Iruka looked away grimacing. He hoped whatever Kakashi was going to show him was not anything as depressing as what he had already seen.

 

Kakashi looked at Iruka directly then and smiled slightly, lopsidedly, as if mocking him. “Why do you think you're in love with me, sensei?” he asked seriously.

 

“Because…” Iruka tried to find the words to describe Kakashi. “Because you're you, I suppose.”

 

“That's a lame answer,” Kakashi said, looking away. He walked towards the closet, opened the door and started to root around at the bottom of it. While the sight of the pale-skinned man bending over, wearing shorts that rode down to reveal a distinct lack of underwear was tempting, Iruka did not feel anything apart from apprehension. Whatever Kakashi was going to show him, he did not want to see.

 

When the Copy-nin finally produced the object, it was a remarkably innocuous-looking, a wooden disk with a floral pattern on it. It also had a few letters, wavy, merged into the background so they was not readily obvious. Iruka looked at it for a moment, reached forward to take it then drew back his hand frowning. “What is it?” he asked wryly.

 

“A mistake of my youth,” Kakashi answered as he tossed it up and caught it as if it was of little significance, but Iruka could see that wood had been recently polished. It gleamed as if varnished, and if he squinted hard enough, he could see a small crack that had been filled carefully.

 

“And what was it called before it became known as the mistake of your youth?” Iruka asked tolerantly, having gotten used to evasive answers from his students. Plus, he had a hunch that Kakashi would tell him what it was eventually, since Iruka had been invited up here in the first place for that purpose.

 

“This is also known as the Family Crest of the Hatakes,” Kakashi said as he deposited it back into his closet, evading Iruka's fingers as if by accident.

 

Iruka waited patiently while Kakashi looked around and finally sighed. “A few years after my father killed himself, while I was going through his belongings, I found out that he had gotten a letter from the Hatake Clan head - dated two days before the end, informing him that he was disowned from the clan. They wanted his Hatake crest returned, since he was no longer fit to bear it.”

 

Kakashi broke off, and Iruka knew he was left to come to a conclusion on his own. Iruka wanted to tell Kakashi a lot of things, such as it might not have been what had led up to the suicide of the White Fang of Konoha. Or perhaps it had, but indirectly, since there had been a lot of factors against the senior Hatake and surely, it was like the straw that broke the camel's back. Still, he held his tongue and nodded, knowing, for one thing, that Kakashi was no fool and must have been aware of these things and secondly, it was years too late, and whatever mistake Kakashi had committed was long over.

 

“I decided to take it back,” Kakashi continued simply. “For my father.”

 

“I take it you did not go over and ask for it,” Iruka said a little dryly before he could help himself.

 

“I wish,” Kakashi said with a grimace. “I decided to break into the compound and steal it, only technically it wasn't stealing, since it was my birthright as well…”

 

Iruka decided to remain silent and let the story play out.

 

“It was rather stupid, I think when I look back, since the compound was guarded better than the Hokage mansion. Breaking in was easy; leaving with my prize was not -- there were all these people running after me …chasing me, so to speak,” Kakashi seemed to have jumped a couple of steps but Iruka did not want to tell him to go back and retell the story in detail. Whatever Kakashi had deemed important had happened afterward, and that was what he needed to know.

 

“Couldn't you have told them who you were?” Iruka asked, knowing it was a stupid question but wanting to know. “You were their blood kin, if nothing else.”

 

“Hatakes are a pack,” Kakashi answered firmly. “Whoever is not part of the pack is torn to bits and fed to the dogs.”

 

“I take it all the Hatakes have dogs,” Iruka quipped before sobering up. “So you ran,” he said. “I take it you got away successfully, because you are standing there with the Hatake crest in hand.” Would Kakashi just get to the point!

 

“The thing is, I didn't,” Kakashi replied. “I made a rookie mistake - I tripped over an ordinary wire and fell into a pit. Very basic trap - rather stupid.” He shook his head as if amused at his stupidity. “I landed awkwardly, dislocated my shoulder and cracked the crest in two.” That explained the crack Iruka had noticed earlier and also just how attached Kakashi was to the damn thing. He'd just equated its getting broken to a bodily injury.

 

“Then sensei appeared,” Kakashi said softly, almost as if he was dreaming. “He came out of nowhere, but I think he was behind me all the time. He probably knew I was about to do something stupid and had come to stop me - or maybe to see how far I could get. He fought those bloodhounds off -- “ Iruka assumed they were not really bloodhounds but people who were after Kakashi's blood, unless the Hatake clan bred bloodhounds, and did any of Kakashi's dogs have bloodhound in them, and he was so off-topic, because he did not want to hear about how the Fourth had saved Kakashi's life. Amazing how the most revered man in Konoha, the greatest hero Iruka had admired so much, had become his biggest competitor.

 

“Sensei stood in front of me, fighting them off one by one …” Iruka had not come to Kakashi's bedroom to hear exploits about his former lover. “He didn't need to; if I had been caught, the worst they could have done was taken the crest away from me. Well, roughed me up a bit as well but they wouldn't have killed me. But sensei not only defended me then, he successfully defended my actions to the council of elders later. He didn't have to; he was a busy man, and by then, the council was already considering him for the next Hokage and his standing up for me could have ruined his chances for good.”[3]

 

“So,” said Iruka, a little annoyed. “You wanted to tell me that your sen --“ Iruka had the scariest thought that perhaps Kakashi was so fond of calling him sensei because who'd have noticed a slip of the tongue if he mixed up the people. “The Fourth was the sort of person who went out of his way to help his student,” Iruka said. Then he paused. “That's sick - is that why you think I'm like him -- because I also help out my students? I don't sleep with Naruto; that's disgusting.”

 

“Of course, no one wants to sleep with Naruto -“ Kakashi said sounding shocked but grinning all the same. “Unless the no one is called Uchiha Sasuke.”

 

“That's not funny,” Iruka snapped. “And don't equate me to your sen - the Fourth because of one event… and for the record, Naruto and Sasuke love each other like brothers.”

 

“Then thank god they are orphans, because Konoha isn't ready to deal with another genocide,” Kakashi snapped back. “The reason I said you were like sensei was because you helped me out with the dogs.” When Iruka opened his mouth, Kakashi shushed him. “You did not judge me or tell me it was stupid - you …”

 

“I had my reasons,” Iruka said coldly. “And I could not have left those dogs to suffer…not everything is about you, you know.”

 

“Sometimes,” Kakashi said thoughtfully. “It's the person, not the actions,” he said. “You are strong; you were willing to die to protect me and the rest of the pack, and you do not back down from any challenge.”

 

“The same as the Fourth,” Iruka said dully.

 

“Those things in you made me aware that Minato was not the only person to have such qualities,” Kakashi said. “I always thought he might be the only person to be so selfless… but I also know you are different from him.”

 

“You mean I look nothing like him,” Iruka said blandly. “How could I have missed that?” He remembered Kakashi's comparison of the two of them, and it had not been flattering.

 

“He was beautiful, so bright, with his hair and his flashy moves. While you, sensei, I think are barely noticeable. You know, I never noticed you before the chuunin exam, though I must have been handing over mission reports to you for a long time before that.”

 

“You have a temper like he never did,” Kakashi said softly. “And you can be forceful when you want to. You don't look it, but you can hold your ground in an argument…”

 

“What's this,” Iruka said irritably, feeling a little pleased but unwilling to admit it. “List my attributes day? The bottom line is…”

 

“…is,” Kakashi interrupted. “I'm not mixing you up with someone else, never fear. But you do remind me of him sometimes ..” no need to ask who HE was. “…and maybe that's what attracted me to you in the first place. I wondered what I saw in you and now… I know.”

 

Iruka mentally tossed a coin to see if it was worth the effort to punch Kakashi in the jaw and discolor his perfect skin before he walked out. Or simply burst into tears. Or laugh. Kakashi had just told Iruka he liked him. Because he had the same qualities as the Fourth. Or because he had some of the qualities as the Fourth.

 

Or whatever.

 

“I love you,” Iruka blurted out. “That is the bottom line. I don't think there's any other person in the whole world like you, and to me that's just fine. I'm not mixing you up with long-dead father figures or the Third or the Fourth. You can have your crazy dogs and your weird need to wear a mask and … and everything. I don't care. I love you the way you are. Period.” He paused for breath, saw that Kakashi was staring at him wordlessly and decided to continue. “If I understand properly, you saw me, liked me and wanted to screw me. Now you know why. Because I have some qualities that remind you of your lover - who, I might remind you, has been dead for a little over a decade. That's obsession. Get over it.”

 

“Not everyone loves for the same reasons,” Kakashi replied calmly. “Some people go for a certain type. For me, it's the qualities. Don't get me wrong - se - Iruka,” At least Kakashi could see the error in referring to both Iruka and the Fourth as sensei “… you will always be you. You have to understand, I'll always love him. But also, I think I can love you.” Kakashi smiled wryly and continued. “Physically, I already find you attractive, but I have a feeling you need more than that.”

 

Iruka took a deep breath and looked down at his feet.

 

“I need time to think,” he said slowly. Wanting Kakashi was one thing ... having him under these conditions was another. But Iruka was not cruel enough to leave Kakashi hanging. He walked towards Kakashi and placed a kiss on his cheek. “Your bedroom isn't the best place for me to think this over so - tomorrow …breakfast. You and the dogs - at my place.”

 

Kakashi stepped back and nodded, his face blank. “We'll all be there, Iruka.”

 

 

[1] I noticed that in Naruto, ppl do eat sitting on chair and not on the floor as in the traditional Japanese style which is why I included chairs for the dinning room.

 

[2] Kakashi's bedroom image courtesy of Naruto shippuuden 6-7 (double episode)

 

[3] I'm taking liberties with the time line here, since I'm not sure exactly when the Fourth actually became the Hokage.

 

A/N- the next chapter should wrap up this story.