Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Kiite Kudasai ❯ Chapter 1

A/N: Yeah, wellcbeen watching Naruto and had this idea in my headcjust a warning, serious hints of Naruto being attracted to Sasuke.

Naruto and everyone belongs to Kishimoto Masahi.

~*~ Kikimasu Kudasai ~*~

The betrayal shouldnft have been anything. I should have seen it coming, should have known how to react.

It hurts.

A lot.

So I hate you. I hate you because you were supposed to be there beside me. Supposed to be the one who pushed me and pushed me and never let me quite reach you. I wasnft supposed to be alone anymore.

Maybe it was me. Something in me I could never be, something you wanted but I couldnft do. You know I tried. I tried to become the illusion people wanted to see. Tried to get rid of the glares and whispers. I just wanted people to look at me, not stare with hate. Mostly I wanted you to see me. I hated the way you looked at me. The way your hard eyes would bare into me, look through me as if you could see everything I was and that made you hate me.

Lonely, I tried to fix myself so you wouldnft hate me. And it made me hate myself. That I would change for someone elsefs satisfaction. But I hated myself before then, too. Sitting in the schoolyard, watching the others play, running and laughing. The ones with parents who loved them, parents who came to get them every day after class. I was never so lucky. I was never loved.

Then the world moved in fast forward, and I find myself here, betrayed.

It hurts.

It hurts so much I want to cry.

You are the one who makes me cry on the inside. Who makes the pain so intense. And I canft share this pain with you. Because you look at me and hate me the same way everyone else does. Well, perhaps maybe a little differently from everyone else, but itfs still not the kind of emotion I want you to have. I want to be someone important to you.

I chase you as you chase a ghost. You chase the revenge that I think you can never reach. Just as I can never reach you. Maybe itfs all just a big circle. This huge chain, where no one can ever get what they want.

Well, screw it all, then.

The world is full of hate and I can never get what I want. So screw this all. You, my unobtainable goal, Ifll tell you now. I hate you so muchcso so muchcthat I love you.

You never joined in the laughter, but you still hurt me. And yet, I would easily give my life for you. And I will. I will. You wonft understand, but itfs all for you. Your smile, that rare thing, Ifm glad I got to see it. I think that every time you smile, I give you more of me. Itfs like I leave it at your door, and donft care if you donft accept it. I canft see it anymore, so I donft know if youfve even looked at it, thrown it out or kept it. But you have all of itctherefs nothing more to give.

Except this.

And it burns.

And Ifll burn in hell for these thoughts. The images I see, what I picture with you. Long, dark nights, soft words and actions. They leave me feeling dirty, and yetcyet notc

Ifm sorry.

I know youfll never really want to know. But here are the words for youcjust in casec

Because you were always my firstcmy only.

My best friend.

~~@~~

Shaking hands set the paper on the kitchen table, folded and sealed, the name of the person it was for scrawled in slightly shaky handwriting. A blonde head bowed, hands rose, and untied the cloth buried in his hair. Metal made a eclunkf as it touched the table, Kohanafs symbol glittered in the dim light.

The shaking died, and a smile graced the thin lips. Dead blue eyes turned away.

A door closed somewhere.

And all fell silent.

~*~*~*~

So? Mind leaving me a review about it? Itfs been ages since Ifve written anything other than poetry, much less fanfiction. Ifm curious on if I should add on to it, or maybe Ifll just kill it after this.

Kikimasu Kudasai = Please listen to me