Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Lessons in Shinobi Love ❯ Lesson 16: To Return ( Chapter 16 )

A/N: Well, here I am with yet another chapter. I'm glad that you all like this fanfic and it makes me happy to know that so many people review it. This chapter is Kakashi-psyche mixed with some fluffy KakaSaku moments. I probably owe it to you all for that recapping job.

 

Got a note:

 

MistressDragonFlame: Yes, Sakura does blush in the manga. (I had to look, lol) It's Volume 5, Chapter 38, page 45 to be exact. (Yeah, I went and looked)

 

Well, here's the chapter, complete with some KakaSaku.

 

 

 

 

::: Lessons in Shinobi Love:::

 

::: Lesson 16: To Return :::

 

 

 

She had returned to him.

 

Sakura was finally back, and she looked so much differently then he had remembered. Her long, flowing pink hair was now short and held a slightly more rugged appearance to it, and she was battle worn, as if she had fought many tough battles while he was absent.

 

She decided to come back to him when he least expected it. It was early in the morning and the sky was of a bright blue, a few white clouds loomed in the sky. They were sparsely about the heavens.

 

Kakashi stood at the old memorial, which held the names of those who had died in battle and were to be forever remembered, carved within the depths of the stone itself and immortalized. But to the silver haired jounin, some of them were immortalized in a much different matter, carved within the depths of his still bleeding heart.

 

It was a tradition of his, to walk down to the stone memorial, and stand alone in a few moments of silence, mourning for the loss of his fallen friend. He often thought “why was I spared too? I should not have been. I deserve to die.” It seemed to him, that every time he visited the cold, unfeeling stone, he was repenting for an everlasting sin, which was unforgivable by even the gods of heaven themselves.

 

The silver haired jounin looked down. His usual nonchalant façade being lifted momentarily as his lone eye set sight in the very spot in which Obito's name had been etched. Deep sorrow bled through the dark color of his uncovered eye, allowing it to shine in a sad brilliance against the sunlight. A gloved hand reached out and laid itself upon the engraved surface, feeling the cold texture.

 

From a distance, viridian eyes watched the figure, taking in his every movement. She noticed that his posture wasn't the usual relaxed one, but one of a deep sorrow. His figure was slumped down and his concentration was on the great memorial which stood before him. She blinked as the girl could recall something her sensei had said to her in the past.

 

“This is a memorial…It includes the names of my best friends…' That is what he had said before giving them another shot at the bell test. Sakura had recalled his expression towards that subject as well. It was that of someone who had looked annoyed or frustrated on the outside, but to Sakura it seemed as if he were fighting back some sort of sadness deep within himself. Perhaps he'd be angry at showing something such as sadness in the presence of his students. Not that she ever thought he was weak.

 

She thought quite the opposite. Deep down within her being, in a part that wasn't quite ready to admit it, she thought he was stronger then Sasuke and perhaps more an individual then Sasuke was as well. When she had thought about it, there were many qualities that Kakashi had shown her over the past several years that were better then what Sasuke had shown her.

 

The pink haired girl mulled these things over in her mind as she stared at the jounin at the memorial. After standing there with a hand to her chest and concerned look plastered to her face for ten minutes, she came to a conclusion…

 

Maybe he was right about Sasuke. Perhaps what he told her in survival training was true. She did learn from her battles with Dosu, Zaku and Kin that she couldn't rely on Naruto and Sasuke to protect her all of her life. That she didn't want to be left behind and she grew tired of feeling so useless to the team.

 

Green orbs looked up to the heavens, watching the occasional bird fly by. She wondered if Kakashi knew she was there, usually he'd be dead on about someone's entrance into an area by reading chakra, but a part of her thought that he had his guard down for the moment.

 

After all, he hadn't said anything to her, even if he did know that she was behind him.

 

Maybe she'd just walk up and…

 

No.

 

…

 

Why did she feel the urge to comfort him all of a sudden? He was her teacher! But he was sad…She barely knew him! Yet she's known him all of her life in a way. He had shown all qualities of a good shinobi, but it was much more then that…

 

He didn't lie. He truly did risk his life for her on several occasions. He was chivalrous and honorable. Maybe even too good for a weak kunoichi like herself. He had given her his guidance, understanding and teachings, and for that she seemed ungrateful. She cheered for Sasuke while he was the one taking on the hard parts of the mission. She worried when Sasuke was getting beaten, but Kakashi was keeping the enemy at bay. If it were just the two of them, she'd spend all her time worrying for Sasuke and get killed by the enemy.

 

She owed him for his selfless deeds in the past, and the least she could do would be to offer him a little comfort. The look on her face turned into one of determination as she slowly approached him. It seemed that he took no notice as she stood beside of him.

 

Before saying anything, her viridian eyes slowly traveled over to his form. He stood in place, with a hand on an etched part of the stone. His lone eye filled with sorrow and dejection as his gaze was set upon the stone. A sadness of her own shot across fields of green, turning them a shade darker. After thinking for a few minutes, she decided to take action.

 

Kakashi noticed that a small hand was placed atop of his. The hand was memorable, lightly colored and feminine in structure. It seemed so familiar. After staring at it for a few minutes, allowing himself to shroud his feelings in a cloak of façade, he looked up to meet with green eyes.

 

There was a moment of silence as the two gazed at each other, frozen in position. As green orbs burnt into a lone dark one, she could see that he hadn't managed to pull on all of the façade and that his lone eye was still filled with a deep-set sorrow.

 

“Sakura…”

 

“Hi, Kakashi-sensei. Did you miss me?” Sakura asked, giving him a concerned look and asking the question in a warm-hearted tone that still held an air of sadness about it.

 

She noticed the jounin pull off a false happiness by producing his usual happy anime eye and responding. “Of course I did, Sakura. Where are Naruto and Sasuke?”

 

“Oh, them.” The pink haired girl replied. “Probably goofing off, well Naruto anyway. I don't know where Sasuke is.”

 

“You must've gotten turned down by him again.”

 

“What?” Sakura asked, a little outraged that he'd say that when she didn't even ask Sasuke anything yet. She was concerned about him not Sasuke.

 

“Did I offend you?” He asked.

 

“Look,” She replied in annoyance. “I came down here to see you, not Sasuke. So you can get that off of your mind right now, pal. I've seen Sasuke all through the missions, but I haven't seen you in a long time. You act like Sasuke is all I care about!”

 

“Perhaps it is.” He said nonchalantly.

 

She knew that she deserved that remark, but felt as if she had to defend herself. He was insulting her pride, after all. “Well, Sasuke isn't sitting here, crying at a memorial.” She huffed, and then as soon as she uttered the phrase, she wanted to take it back as she saw the masked man look down.

 

He pulled his hand away from hers, but it didn't get far, seeing as she caught it firmly, making her sensei jolt to a stop and snap his head up with a “hm?”

 

“Sorry, you didn't deserve that, but I did. I guess some people just don't like hearing the truth. “She looked down. “On second thought.” She let go of his hand. “You can go. But before you do, I want to say that I've saw you the whole time. Is that what you always do, hide your feelings from your students?”

 

“…” He gave no response, but he didn't leave, rather he stood there silently. He could feel green orbs piercing his soul and felt like a child who'd been caught in the candy jar. He had let his guard down, and that caused him to tense as he felt and impulse to turn cold and get defensive, but repressed it as he reminded himself that he had to be nonchalant and give answers that would let way to mystery.

 

After the short silence, he answered the question without really answering it. “Perhaps…”

 

“Okay, those answers really make me mad.” Sakura put her hands on her hips. “Let me tell you something about you that you didn't know.”

 

Kakashi sighed to himself in exasperation after hearing another one of Sakura's lectures. At times he felt like her student.

 

“How can you expect to have any friends when you go around giving people answers like that! You're so annoying! I swear, some of the things you do, you do them just to tick me off! You always act so nonchalantly! It really ticks me off that every time we're ready to go, you're late! Come on, sensei! If someone were dying and you came late, they'd be dead already!

 

The distance you put between yourself and other people is really scary. You seem to untouchable! What are you hiding anyway! Admit it!” She pointed in anger. “You never wanted to depend on anyone, even those who cared about you the most. Like when we fought Zabuza, you told us to run away, like we didn't even care about you! What was that about? Why would we just leave you there…Now that I think about it, you contradict yourself! You said that if someone left their team mates to die, that they would be worse then scum! So what the hell, Kakashi-sensei? That was like a double edged sword and either way we'd get stabbed! Is your god-forsaken life so worthless that you'd think that I think it too!? DENSE! Dense, dense, dense! That's what you are!” She yelled at the top of her lungs, and then panted heavily.

 

Kakashi blinked and looked a little surprised that a student would tell him those things, but knew he had no retort that was constitute the flaws that she pointed out to him. He knew it was true, even though he had reasons behind it. He didn't turn to face her, and at that moment in time, didn't feel as if she should see his face—any of it.

 

“I bet you didn't even hear me!” Sakura huffed, “Are you going to say “perhaps” to that? Are you?”

 

“…”

 

“What's wrong, Kakashi-sensei? “

 

“Maybe it is true…” He admitted after a considerable silence.

 

“Huh?” She blinked,

 

“But you must understand, Sakura…I carry many burdens, and there are things that I regret.” Kakashi said monotonely.

 

“Is that why you're here?” The pink haired girl asked, her voice toning down into a concerned and even motherly tone. “Do you think it's your fault that your friends died?”

 

The silver haired man offered no answer for that, but his gesture was all that was required to give Sakura her answer.

 

The girl's features twisted into those of angst as her eyes shone with sadness. “Kakashi-sensei…” She said her voice sympathetic in tone.

 

“Look, I'm really sorry. You just made me angry because you thought I wouldn't care about you.” A clear hurt shone in her eyes.

 

“My opinions never effected you this much before. What's the occasion?” Kakashi looked over his shoulder at the girl.

 

“Because maybe you were right about some things in the past. I feel bad and guilty for the things that I said. I shouldn't treat you like that…Not after everything you did for me. You're a great person…A lot better then I am.” She walked up to him and got in front of him. A contemplative look crossed her face before she took his hand again.

 

“Sakura…”

 

“It's okay.” She gave his hand a gentle and reassuring squeeze. “I'm back and I'm here for you, just like you were here for me.”

 

A fleeting moment ran through Kakashi's head. He wanted to pull away and run. The jounin knew that any sort of close relationship was supposed to be avoided. Nothing good was to come of something that was emotionally beneficial. He didn't deserve to be happy for the sins he had committed in the past.

 

Kakashi couldn't find the words to say to push her away. It was as if his heart were telling him that classic line, the line he so hated to hear: “Obito wouldn't want you to be sad. He'd like you to be happy. He'd probably smack you if he saw you acting like this.” But his mind argued that he'd think he deserved everything he got for being so immature and arrogant in the past.

 

Being clouded in confusion, the jounin was unable to move, as if he was paralyzed.

 

He could hear the deflating of his jacket and the sound of textile ruffling as an arm was wrapped about his waist and a head was nestled into his form.

 

“You can be mad at me all you want, Kakashi-sensei, but I think that you deserve to have someone care about you. It was wrong of me to cheer for Sasuke when it was you who had the hard fight. Everyone needs someone to encourage them, even if they are a jounin.” She said, as she bent up her arm, to look at their hands. “So what if you're annoying and late and contradictory? You're a lot of good things too. You're loyal, chivalrous and honorable. You're like a hero to me, and I was just too dumb to see it. You saved my life and you taught me what it meant to work in a team. So, thank you.”

 

At this point in time, Kakashi knew he should get out of the situation, and he had hoped that Naruto or Sasuke would walk up and interrupt. He felt his chest tingle a little and the feeling sent a sense of omen and paranoia through him. Kakashi couldn't allow himself to be close. It would get someone killed again, and that was a burden he didn't want on anyone's shoulders.

 

But before he could say anything, he felt fingers intertwine with his own. He knew his defenses were turning on as his body tensed up. The girl looked up and saw the look on her sensei's face. “Something wrong?” She asked.

 

“Hmm…”

 

“Am I annoying you like Naruto does?” She asked, a bit of worry on her face. The only thing that mattered to her at the moment was that Kakashi felt happy. She couldn't resist the urge to knock out the sadness from his eye.

 

“No…You're not…”

 

“Oh.” She sighed. “That's good. “

 

“I'm not like Sasuke. I don't think you're annoying.”

 

Emotion shot through viridian eyes and her features lightened up as she smiled at her sensei. For once, she felt peaceful and the thought of him being so much older then her didn't even cross her mind.

 

 

TBC

 

 

 

A/N: Sorry this is late, but it's also two pages over the limit. I have other fanfics to work on, so I have to take turns working on them. Please be patient, and I thank you all for being as patient as you have been on this and my other works. I've been working on Mission: Freak Out Kakashi because it has more reviews then this, but this is my second major project and I thank you all for your fandom and support.

 

Please review and tell me what you think!