Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Let's Get It On ❯ Green Spandex ... ( Chapter 6 )

`Thinking'

`Inner Whoever Thinking'

*Sound Effects*

**Flashback**

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto … BUT IF I DID ... I would have made Sakura's hair HOT pink! Cause that's HOT!

I don't own Britney Spears, Kevin Federline, Paris Hilton & co.

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Chap Six

 

“I can't believe you watch this crap.”

“What?”

“What do you mean `what'? I can't believe they got a second season. Like Chaotic wasn't bad enough, now it's Britney and Kevin: Dysfunctional.”

 

They were back at home after a successful mission in the Sand Country. Her house was a sprawling 200 acre estate on the upper east side of Konoha. Her small wing of the house was roughly the size of a football stadium. Her wing was so far away from her parent's that they hadn't seen each other in at least two weeks. In fact, her parents had no idea Neji was even in their house let alone that he had been for the last few days. He wanted to spend some “quality time” with Tenten, but she wouldn't let him anywhere near until her show was over. Yes, it was even more stupid than the original and yes, her IQ dropped steadily with each minute, but she couldn't help but watch. Celebrities, no matter how dirty, had a special “glamour” in her mind. With narrow eyes and a determined mind, he reached out a tentative hand towards her face. She didn't slap his hand away like she did the last eight times, but then again, he had been aiming lower. He used his thumb to softly stroke her cheek and she sighed, but refused to even glance at him. Instead, she was focused on a clip, which was playing on a loop, of Britney almost dropping her second child. His hand moved downward, massaging her neck a bit before it continued down. He barely reached the top of her cleavage before she smacked his hand away.

 

`She's harder to get into than ANBU …'

 

She was now intently watching an image of Britney's nasal cavity. In night vision! They were doing their remake of the Paris Hilton video … and it wasn't going too good. Thoroughly disgruntled, Neji came up with a plan. He stripped down to his boxers, showing off his magical abs that sparkled in the artificial lighting, flexing all his spectacularly orgasmic muscles in the process. He managed to make his own wind, like Fabio, that blew across his body, making his nipples tense and his luscious hair float through the air. In his trademark make-the-girls-melt voice, he said,

 

“I'm going to take a shower. Wanna join me?”

“Hmm … yeah … in a minute …”

 

She held up her index finger and turned up the volume, trying to catch a snippet of K-Fed's newest crap song.

 

`I give up. I just can't win.'

 

He plopped back down on the couch as a commercial about erectile dysfunction flashed across the screen.

 

*ding dong*

 

The sound of the doorbell resounded from hundreds of speakers hidden throughout the house, scaring them back to reality. Tenten realized that she was ignoring a very hot and very half-naked man in his boxers for a television show and Neji realized that he was sitting half naked on Tenten's couch. Even though he would probably never be seen by her parents, there was always a hardworking servant around one corner or another, looking for dirt. And just like that, one appeared in the doorway.

 

“Young Mistress. *bow* Rock Lee is here to see you, maam.”

“Really Jenkins, please stop bowing. It's freaky.”

“Can't maam. *bow* Good day. *bow*'

 

He was gone before she could say anything else.

 

T: `One day,*twitchy eyebrow* I'm going to pull out the frying pan and-”

L: “TENTEN! IT'S A TRAVESTY! IT'S A … IT'S A … NIGHTMARE!!”

*man tears*

T: “Geez, Lee Uh … what are you wearing?”

N: `He didn't … this is crazy … even for Lee …but then again, this IS Lee …'

 

The man in question was wearing custom made green pajamas with images of Gai in his good guy pose, teeth and hair gleaming, with speech bubbles spouting crap about the springtime of youth.

 

L: “That's not the problem. The problem is what I'm not wearing.”

T: “Lee, we don't need to know that you go commando.”

L: “Uh … well … the freedom does wonders to increase my … anyway, that's not why I'm here! ALL of my body suits are gone.”

T: `Damn, someone got to them before I did.'

N: “Did you try the washing machine or the hamper?”

L: “Yes!”

N: “Did you ask Gai-sensei about his?”

L: “His are gone too!”

N: “Are you sure you didn't leave them somewhere or give them away?”

L: “It's ME we're talking about!”

N: “Point.”

T: `Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT! I wanted to BURN them sooo badly! DAMMIT!'

N: “Fine. We'll help. Meet us at the barbeque place at noon.”

T: `I would have put them through the shredder! Then put those pieces through the shredder! MUHAHAHA!'

L: “It's 8:30! What are you going to be doing for three and a half hours?”

N: “*glances at Tenten* A little of this. A little of that. And a whole lot of other stuff.”

 

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So that's a little taste of what I'm cooking with.

PLEASE REVIEW!!