Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Life is Lovelier the Second Time Around ❯ Drugs are bad ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I'm back but I still don't own Naruto!

 

AN: Well that didn't take long. I'm only up to where Sai is about to capture Sasuke in the Manga but…anyway I don't know how I came up with this but I hope you like it. May have borrowed something from cheech and chong…you'll find out.

 

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“Rasengan!” Naruto lunged at his sensei with the sphere of chakra.

 

The Sanin sidestepped him and threw him into a nearby rock. “You need to do more than just keep using Rasengan till you hit me. You should be attacking with clones, shuriken, kunai, use every tool at your…AH!” Jaraiya was suddenly launched through the air by one of Naruto's clones.

 

“Konoha's most sacred technique: one thousand years of death!” The clone yelled dramatically from his crouched position.

 

“I've been sodomized. Ok enough training for today Naruto.” Jaraiya whined as he hit the ground.

 

“Ok, I need to get home soon anyway.” Naruto said with a smile. He had grown a lot over these two and a half years. Still wore and orange jumpsuit though, just blacker.

 

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Hinata was also training. She and her father met for training once a week, and it was starting to help with some of the issues they had. Hinata had explained that as a father she still loved him, but as a person she would never respect or admire him. And that she didn't care about the clan in the least. He understood this but was glad that she was finally assertive enough to say it. “Hyah!” She landed a blow right to her fathers chest and he was knocked on his back.

 

“Good. You're improving.” He said slowly rising to his feet.

 

“Hoorah…” She said sarcastically. “Well I better head home. My husband should be done training for the day.” She loved rubbing it in to Hiashi that she married outside the clan.

 

“Hey, sis!” Hanabi ran up, and Hiashi sighed. It was time for their little exchange. “Can I see you're wedding ring?” Hinata held out her hand and raised an eyebrow. “Wow, I didn't know there were diamonds that small. I can barely see it.” She teased.

 

“Here, have a closer look.” Hinta said bonking her sister on the head.

 

“Ow, bitch!” Hanabi said rubbing her head. “Dad!”

 

“Tattle tail.” Hinata said sticking her tongue out. Her attitude had only gotten worse over the years. Her hair now came to her shoulders. She had also developed in some other ways. Ways she loved to show off in the most revealing outfits she could find. “Better go. Naruto gets cranky without an after lunch blow job.” She giggled as Hiashi covered his ears and Hanabi gagged.

 

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Sasuke leapt away from Kakashi as the older man swung a kunai. Sasuke dew the sword he wore on his back and ran at the man. Kakashi blocked the strike but Sasuke used his chidori current. Kakashi was frozen in place by the surge of electricity passing through him and Sasuke hit him between the eyes. Kakashi fell spread eagle on the ground. “That was cheating. Has to be, you take my technique, the only one that I've ever created and you start doing weird stuff with it.” Kakashi said as he sat up.

 

“What weird about what I did?” Sasuke asked sheathing his sword.

 

“Still working on that…so how's everything at home?” Kakashi said trying to take his mind off the embarrassing defeat.

 

“Not bad. Sakura's starting to act a little too much like Tsunade to be entirely comfortable with.”

 

“She starting to do kinky stuff in bed or something?”

 

“No…just more violent, laughs maniacally at other people's pain.”

 

“She comes at you with S&M gear, run.”

 

“Keep that in mind. I take it Tsunade did something to you that you want to spare me from?”

 

“Uh…hey look naked kunoichi!”

 

“Wha…” Sasuke looked over to see that Kakashi had vanished. “Well I guess that means training's over.”

 

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“Okay just finish that one and you're free to go.” Shizune said as Sakura was feverishly missing an antidote.

 

“…and done.” She said holding up a beaker.

 

“You're starting to get good at this.” Tsunade said snatching up the antidote. “And this cures?”

 

“Several of the poisons used by the puppeteer Chiyo of Sunagakure.” Sakura stated exactly as she had been told.

 

“Good girl. Okay run on home then. Don't want to keep Sasuke waiting.”

 

“No, sensei. I'll be back in the morning.”

 

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Naruto collapsed onto his bed with a groan. Hinata was already there waiting for him, and was concerned. “Are you alright?”

 

“I think a pulled something training.” Naruto whined.

 

“Awe, poor little guy.” Hinata soothed and began stroking his back. “Jaraiya is way to rough with you.”

 

“I'll be alright Believe…believe…lieve…me.” Naruto sighed at the back rub he was getting and fell asleep.

 

`Yeah but in the mean time I'm left sexually frustrated.' Hinata mentally groaned and fell back on the bed.

 

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“Sasuke I'm home.” Sakura called cheerily.

 

“Hey.” Sasuke said with a small smile. He was rubbing his temples and had his eyes closed.

 

“You alright?” She asked sitting on the bed next to him.

 

“Yeah, just a headache.” He said with a sigh.

 

“Ooh, I can fix this just a second.” She said running out of the room.

 

“Sakura what are you doing?” He asked as loud as he was able without making the pain worse.

 

“Here drink this.” Sakura said thrusting a glass of some green liquid under his nose.

 

“What is it?”

 

“Just a mild painkiller. Sorta like aspirin, but it works faster.” She said thrusting it forward.

 

“Umm…I'm not gonna die from it am I?”

 

“Oh, come on have a little faith.” She said with a pout.

 

“Alright.” He said finally accepting the glass. “I trust you. And I know you wouldn't give me anything you weren't one hundred percent sure of.” He held his nose and gulped down the liquid.

 

“There you go. It should take care of that headache in just a few minutes.”

 

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Tsunade suddenly froze in the middle of her paper work. “Something wrong lady Tsunade?” Shizune asked when she saw the scared look on her mentor/lover's face.

 

“Remember the bad feeling I got right before you gave that guy medicine and accidently put him in a coma?”

 

“Y-yes.” Shizune said nervously.

 

“I just got it again.” Tsunade said dropping the pen she was holding. “Has Sakura taken anything from out inventory?”

 

“Uh…let me see.” Shizune said scooting off to the store room.

 

“Yup, same bad feeling.”

 

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About five minute later Sasuke stopped complaining about the headache. In fact he said he felt a lot better till. “Sakura, don't move an inch.” He said suddenly staring at the foot of the bed with wide eyes.

 

“What is it?” She asked a little nervous.

 

“I'm about to fulfill my lifelong dream…OF CATCHING A SQUIRREL WITH MY BARE HANDS!!!!!!!!!” Sasuke screamed suddenly diving off the bed. “Hoohoo, he is a crafty little guy. But he has under estimated me and the element of…SURPRISE!!!!!!!!!!!” Sasuke began running through the house at full speed. He came to a stop by the door. “Aha, cornered!” He froze and got a very strange look on his face. Sakura was too stunned to do more than watch. “Whoa…did you see that…it just like…like…voom…and went through the door…it must be some kind of ninja squirrel…WELL I SHALL CATCH YOU NINJA SQUIRREL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Sasuke kicked down the door and ran out into the street laughing maniacally.

 

Sakura was still staring at the door way when Tsunade appeared. “Sakura? Why is Sasuke trying to catch invisible animals?”

 

“I…I…he had a headache so…I gave him some solar grass…then…” Sakura said as she began to tear up. “Is he going to…”

 

“Hush. Awe, it's okay sweetie.” Tsunade said hugging her. “Now show me what you gave him.” Sakura walked over to her desk and opened a drawer. She held up what looked like a blade of grass and showed the blonde. “Phew. Okay he'll live. But we should probably find him.” The pink haired girl looked up at her sensei, confused. “Solar grass is a pain killer…this is a powerful hallucinogen. So as long as he doesn't attack anyone we're okay.”

 

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Hinata and Naruto woke to the sound of splintering wood. They both sat bolt upright and saw Sasuke Uchiha running at them. “Sasuke?”

 

“Naruto you gotta hide me!” The raven haired boy yelled as he dove under the blanket. Hinata and Naruto exchanged shocked looks.

 

“What's wrong?” Hinata asked trying to ignore where Sasuke's head was. She just thanked god she was wearing pants.

 

“Well, there was this squirrel see…and I chased him…but them some chickens showed up…and the squirrels said something and now they're after me!” Hinata scooted out of bed and took several steps away. Naruto did the same. “Oh my god I'm blind! I'm blind!” Sasuke suddenly thrashed around and finally his head appeared from under the blanket. “I can see clearly now the rain…hahahahahaha! Hello there my friends! Hinaruto and Nata…oh my god the chickens are here!” Sasuke tried to untangle himself from the blanket but Hinata suddenly hit him with a lamp. “Prize check on prune juice, Bob. Price check on prune juice.” Sasuke fell unconscious on the bed.

 

“What the HELL was that?!” Hinata yelled whacking the Uchiha several more times. Naruto just shook his head and stared at his rival.

 

“Found him!” Tsunade suddenly called from the doorway. She walked up and grabbed the boy before turning to the stunned shinobi. “Uh…hi there.” She smiled and shuffled out of the room.

 

“I promise I'll explain later.” Sakura said waving at them before going after her sensei.

 

Naruto and Hinata both turned to each other, laughed nervously, and fainted.