Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Life is Lovelier the Second Time Around ❯ Mummy Shark! ( Chapter 15 )

Disclaimer: Would you be reading this if I didn't own Naruto, yes…what? No, you wouldn't. I don't own the mummy either…you'll find out. Or the road runner. Yeah the chapter is slightly crackish…I don't even know if that makes sense. Or bleach…or inuyasha…I think that's it…

 

AN: I have proof! I have inconsequential…I mean indisputable proof that Shikamaru is in fact butter. Warning this involves a weird part of the anime but who cares you already saw it, right? It could work with the Manga too but it's less disturbing with the anime. Read chapter 208 of the manga for the creepified version that is less buttery…watch episode 122 (pretty sure but not positive…) for less creepified and you will see what I mean. SHIKAMARU IS BUTTER!!!!! I'M NOT CRAZY!!!!! THERE WAS A SECOND KNOLL ON THE GRASSY SHOOTER!!!!!!!!!! Oh and about the incest thing. Originally I was going to change it but I thought I'd leave it. Don't worry Itachi isn't going to do bad things to Sasuke…well he is, but not bad sexual things…anyway you'll see why I left it in in just a minute…in in…whoa…oh and sorry about the wait but I've been working on my Hinata and Naruto fic. It will be updated soon too. Also Kisame fought Gai's squad in a sandy area, right? That's what it looked like to me.

 

Daianta: I swear I didn't mean that at first. Uchihacest weirds me out. Trust me the world hasn't begun to change…well actual it has or I wouldn't be writing about how it hasn't…what? Where am I? Who are you people?! And it's alright I'm the same way about turkeys.

 

AnimePrincessInuLover: Well sorry I didn't update soon soon but my computer was going crazy. And about them saving Gaara…not yet…I'm sorry.

 

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Sasuke had finally regained consciousness and Naruto had almost recovered from the blow to his forbidden zone. “Are you alright Naruto?” Sasuke called teasingly.

 

“Shut up! I swear to god if you keep this up I will…” Naruto began angrily, his voice hadn't recovered yet. Sasuke sniggered but was careful not to laugh too hard.

 

“I'm coming back there!” Naruto yelled from the front of the formation. Unfortunately he turned when he yelled this he turned his head and didn't notice…

 

“Naruto tree! Tree!” Hinata yelled.

 

“Huh?” Naruto crashed right into a sapling…and guess what part of him hit it first. “EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Yup.

 

“Sasuke if that cost me kids I'm coming back there and taking Sakura's!” Hinata yelled as she ran over to catch her poor husband.

 

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!!! AHAHAA!!!!! AH!!!” Sasuke began cackling madly and suddenly fell silent. He had passed out again.

 

“Gaara I feel really sorry for you.” Kakash sighed as he watched his students behavior.

 

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“We have a job to do.” Itachi sighed as he tried to side step his partner.

 

“No, no way Itachi. We are going to explore this.” Kisame said blocking his colleague.

 

“You know that's not what I meant.” Itachi said trying to jump over the shark ninja. Kisame blocked him with Samehada (his sword right?)

 

“Ever hear of a Freudian slip. We mean everything that we say. So you were actually thinking horrible incest filled thoughts.” Kisame teased as he kept his partner from walking away.

 

“A Freudian Slip would have been me trying to say I was going to kill him in his sleep but instead I say I was going to sleep with him.” Itachio sighed again and suddenly dashed to his left.

 

Kisame was right in front of him before he could run. “So…you admit you want to sleep with him.”

 

“Kisame which direction was Asuma's squad coming from?” Itachi asked suddenly.

 

“Well, konoha's that was. Our hideout is around there so they probably be…that way.” Kisame said pointing. “Wait, don't change the subject. Why are you grabbing my shirt?” Itachi picked up Kisame and threw him in the direction he pointed. Needless to say but I'm saying it anyway, Kisame was flying through the air, several hundred feet off the ground. “Whoa I can see my house!”

 

Itachi sighed and made his way to intercept the leaf ninja.

 

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“Did we take a wrong turn?” Ino asked as her squad ran through a sandy area. “I think we already passed the land of rivers and made it all the way to Suna.”

 

“Even you're not that big of a ditz Ino. We still have at least a day and a half left before we get there.” Shikamaru sighed, she was getting annoying.

 

“This is gonna take forever.” She whined.

 

“Is, if you keeping bitching.” Shikamaru said under his breath.

 

“What was that?” Ino growled.

 

“Nothing.”

 

“If you two are done perhaps you can take into account that there is something coming at us.” Asume said smacking both students in the back of the head. Something was kicking up a lot of dust.

 

“What do you think it is?” Chouji asked squinting at it. It was quite far away.

 

“Maybe it's the road runner.” Asuma said assuming that if it were an enemy they'd be here by now. Or at least be stealthier.

 

“No, he's right there.” Ino said pointing at a large bird.

 

“Meep, meep!” The bird suddenly shot off leaving a trail of dust.

 

As the four shinobi watched this spectacle a Coyote walked up and held up and sign saying “Hi.” Then it took out a pair of roller skates and a jetpack…I don't know from where. And another sign. “Watch this.” It took off and crashed into a nearby boulder. “Ouch.” Yeah another sign. It pried itself off the rock and dusted itself off when it noticed a shadow. Wiley Coyote looked up and saw an anvil falling from the sky. “How the hell did that get up there…and by the way…” The coyote was crushed, but one arm reached out from under the anvil. “Ouch 2.0 in stores now!”

 

“Uh.” The shinobi blinked and turned away in time to see something wrapped in bandages sticking out of the sand.

 

“AH! It's the mummy shark! It's going to steal your organs and suck you dry, then when it's all none corpsafied it will take me and then it will bring back it's girlfriend, and she will take my organs…and…and…then there will be a sequel where it will return but I've never really known how even after watching it like ten times…” Ino screamed waving her arms like a crazy person.

 

“No, it is not the mummy shark! It is I Kisame!” Kisame yelled popping out of the sand. He stopped in the middle of his speech and turned when he realized he was facing away from his opponents. “And now Asuma Sarutobi your ass is mine!” Kisame suddenly froze and blinked. `Now I'm saying gay stuff…' He stopped and resumed his pose. “You feel for my genjutsu, and now you…”

 

“Genjutsu?” Shikamaru asked raising an eyebrow.

 

“The roadrunner.” Kisame said drooping slightly. “Come on I was really proud of that.”

 

“Oh, so we're not nuts.”

 

“…anyway…and now you shall fall before the great Kisame…”

 

“Wait, hold it let me see if I remember you. Kisame…Hoshikaze…Hoshi-sama…Hoshigaki…” Asuma said thinking. “Right?”

 

“Uh…yes…” Kisame said blinking at the man in confusion.

 

“And your sword…Zangetsu…Zabimaru…doesn't even start with a “Z” does it?”

 

“…no…it's…”

 

“No, no don't tell me. Sode no Shiraiyuki…Benihime…Tetsaiga…Tensaiga…Tokijin… ;Sounga?” Asuma pulling out a pad with various sword names on it.

 

“It's Samehada! Samehada! Do you get it now, you pointy haired loony?!” Kisame yelled hefting his sword.

 

“Oh, I get it. Oh, and while we're on the subject of your genjutsu.” Asuma said looking up.

 

Kisame looked down and saw a shadow. He looked up ad saw a huge ball in the air. “Human Boulder!”

 

Kisame dove out of the way and smiled. “I take it we're both looking for a fight then?”

 

“You could say that.” Asuma said with a smile.

 

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Once again Naruto had recovered and Sasuke was awake. “Everybody stop!” Kakashi suddenly called. The shinobi came to a stop in a clearing…and were face to face with Itachi Uchiha.

 

“Well, Sasuke, Sakura, Naruto, Hinata, and Kakashi. It's been awhile. The raven haired ninja said with a smirk.

 

“Hey there bro…” Sasuke began before.

 

“What am I chopped liver?! And further more, who are you?! And on that subject, why should I care?!” Chiyo snapped waving her fist at him.

 

“It's Itachi Uchiha.” Kakashi explained, rolling hi eyes.

 

“My brother.” Sasuke said drawing a kunai.

 

“The boy who slaughtered his whole clan?” Chiyo asked raising an eyebrow.

 

“YES! THAT ONE!! NOW SHUT UP!!! YOU'RE RUINING MY DRAMATIC DIALOGUE!!!!!” Sasuke yelled.

 

“What's his problem?” Chiyo asked looking confused.

 

“Brothers…killed whole clan but me…” Sasuke sighed.

 

“Oh…yeah I guess that would cause some issues.”

 

“You could say that.”