Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Life is Lovelier the Second Time Around ❯ THE WRONG FISH!!! ( Chapter 20 )

Disclaimer: You know what I'm about to say right I don't own Naru…to…GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!! Or american dad, or v for vendetta.

 

AN: Well, here we are again. We are inchworming our way to the Sasori fight. Well, this is the last catfight…maybe. And I don't think Naruto will get injured again…okay he might but…hey look a diversion! Sorry it's a little short. But on the other hand it's been two days since I updated last so…we're about even.

 

Vospader21: Yeah I like cliff hangers. But you probably already know that from LLK. I can try to write some Sasuke/Sakura stuff…but I'm not sure how much. Glad that you're making progress with your fic. Can't wait to read it.

 

Animeprincessinulover: Yes poor Naruto…I wonder if he'll be hit again in this chapter. Can't really feel as sorry for Sasuke somehow…hold it yay another catfight? *raises eyebrow* Who's the proverbial toad sage now? And I will also hold you to the Gin Ichimaru thing.

 

Dainta: Yay your back. It's no problem. I know you busy. Everyone but me is. I have waaaaaaaaay too much free time…even in the school year.

 

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Hinata nodded after a moment. “There's four other seals.”

 

“Kakashi, my team ought to get the other four seals. They'll fight less if they split up.” Asuma said nodding at his team.

 

“We'll use radio, on the count of three we'll pull.” Kakashi said jumping onto the boulder.

 

“Where are they Hinata?” Shikamaru asked turning to the girl. “If they're too far off this whole radio thing isn't going to work. And before you answer that…where the hell are your clothes?”

 

“Sakura's husband started it!” Hinata whined.

 

“Did not you lying little bitch!” Sakura yelled threateningly.

 

“BITCH?! Yeah well…BIPOLAR, HERMAPHRODITIC, PSCHO, SLUTTY…PMSING, UGLY, BITCH!!!” Hinata yelled back.

 

“DIE!!!” Sakura screamed and jumped at the brunette.

 

“PREPARE YOURSELF!!!” Hinata did the same but Sasuke and Naruto stopped them. Hinata glared at Sakura and decided they couldn't stop her from threatening Sakura. “Allow me to impress upon you the severe mistake you have made. For years my conduct has been largely benign. And yet, without provocation, you have severed our detente and forced me to unleash upon you the vengeful flames of a thousand suns. You shall curse your mother for the day of your birth. For now, go, GO! And begin your life of fear, knowing that when you least expect it, the looming sword of Damocles will crash down upon you, cleaving you in twain and as you gaze upon the smoking wreckage that was once your life, you will regret the day you crossed the WRONG FISH!!!”

 

`What?' Went through every head but Sakura's who was trying to find a speech that was just as impressive.

 

“Yeah well…Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished as the once vital voice of the verisimilitude venerates what it once vilified. However, this valorous visitation of a bygone vexation stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin vanguarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition! The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous. Heeheehee. Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me “V”.” Sakura stopped when she realized that had nothing to do with anything. “Vitch!”

 

“Grrr!!!” Hinata snarled and flailed at Sakura but Naruto held her in place.

 

“Seals now, dead Sakura later.” He said hugging her.

 

“…hmph!…alright.” Hinata seemed to calm down and Naruto let her go, only to have to grab her again as she tried to run at Sakura.

 

“No no no no no…no…no.” Naruto said scooping her back up.

 

“Alright!” Hinata snapped before being sat down. “Byakugan!” She paused and held out her arms. “75 meters, 50, 100, and…” She said indicating each one in turn. “80!” She swung her arm back and punched Naruto right in the face trying to point to the last one.

 

“AH!!!” Naruto grabbed his nose and yelled.

 

“Oh, Naruto. Oh, poor baby. I'm so sorry.” She said kissing him repeatedly. “I didn't mean it.”

 

“It's okay. I don't think I'm bleeding.” He said removing his hand.

 

“I'm sooooo sorry. I'm too violent. I'm a horrible wife!” Hinata wrapped herself around Naruto and sobbed.

 

“No you're a great wife Hinata.” Naruto soothed.

 

“Really?” Naruto nodded. “And I'm cute?” He nodded again. “And you love me?” And again. “And I can go attack Sakura?” He nodded then stopped suddenly.

 

“…wait, what?!”

 

“Too late! Yah!!!” Hinata launched herself at Sakura and knocked both the pink haired girl and Sasuke to the ground. And so another catfight begins…this is the last for a while.

 

“Well okay, let's go. I'll take the furthest.” Asuma offered. “Hinata you direct us from there…”

 

“Can do!” Hinata said giving him a thumbs up. “I can multi task.”

 

“Alright then, uh…team Asuma away…” Asuma said running off.

 

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“Okay Hinata. Am I close?” Choji asked as he walked through a group of trees.

 

“Yeah you…ah!!!!! Sakura! I hate having my hair pulled…and that's literally below the belt!” Hinata screamed.

 

`Uh…' Choji blinked rapidly when he heard this followed by sounds of a struggle.

 

“Sorry, it's right in front of you. About ten feet up that tree. Ouch!”

 

Choji just turned his radio volume down and contemplated the therapy he'd need after this. “Bubun Baika no Jutsu!” Choji's arms grew huge and he grabbed the seal. “This is Choji. I'm ready.”

 

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“Shikamaru, here. Where is it Hinata?” Shikamru asked as he surveyed the grassy area he'd been lead to.

 

“Ow! No biting Sakura!”

 

“Uh…didn't catch that. Repeat this is Shikamaru requesting help in locating seal, over.” Shikamaru said clearing his throat.

 

“Oh…it's about three steps to your left.” Shikamaru shuffled over and felt around till he felt paper.

 

“This is Shikamaru. Ready when y'all are.”

 

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“WHERE THE HELL IS IT?!!!” Ino screamed from the river. “Hinata, help!”

 

“Little busy here.” Hinata said grunting from what Ino hoped was effort.

 

“HINATA!!!”

 

“Okay left.” Ino moved to her left. “No my left.”

 

“I don't know where your left is!”

 

“Okay right.” Ino did so. “Now turn. Stop. Turn back. Stop.”

 

“How far do you want me to turn?!”

 

“Uh…two o'clock.” Ino rotated slightly. “Now look down.”

 

“THERE'S NOTHING THERE!!!”

 

“Wait I wasn't finished. Bunny hop backwards three times.”

 

“Wait check if anything's behind her. If she backs up she could destroy a village with her ginormous…”

 

“SHIKAMARU SHUT UP!!!!!”

 

“Yes ma'am.”

 

Ino hopped backwards and found the seal. “This is Ino. I found it. NO THANKS TOO HINATA!!!”

 

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“This is Asuma on the cliff. Am I close Hinata?”

 

“Revenge shall be sweet. But it shall not be slow. I am going to take my time and slowly…”

 

“AHEM!!!”

 

“Oh, uh…right below you.”

 

Asuma grabbed the seal and smiled. “Asuma, just found it. Whenever you're ready Kakashi.”

 

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“What's taking them so long?! Can't we just go out there?!” Deidara growled. He had bee making small bombs and using them like firecrackers to pass the time.

 

“Not yet.” Sasori said simply.

 

“…” Deidara reached for more clay when Sasori grabbed his arm.

 

“That's getting really annoying. If you keep it up I'm gonna be the one to rip your arm off.” Sasori said grabbing the blondes wrist.

 

“Who else was going to rip my arm off?”

 

“…any way. They'll be done soon.”

 

“Okay then.”