Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Life Sucks ❯ Intro ( Chapter -1 )

I don't own what is not mine…

Life Sucks

Prelude :

His day went from bad to worse. It was bad enough he had to play idiot for the first half of his life because of incompetent fools were too busy shoving their heads so far up their asses to see that they were abusing a child.

No, what really pissed him off was the fact that his supposedly dead "hero" of a father decided to come back from the grave because obviously he was so stupid that he couldn't even stay dead the right way.

That and duck-ass-for-hair-emo-king came to the conclusion that the Jolly Farm of Sound wasn't what he thought it would be. The moron got his angst filled arse the hell out of there when his pimp the Pedo-snake tried to sneak into his bed for the thirtieth time, but that time Snake man brought out the big guns which was a variety of…toys…and a tranquilizer.

This all of course was the reason why he was sitting in 'the office' shifting uncomfortably because of the intense stares from both emo-king who was to his right and his fresh out of the grave father on his left.

"-ing, so do you understand why you're here now Naruto?" Said the not-so-old-looking-but-still-old hag. His answer was a blank stare, which made her eyebrow twitch. She sighed and rubbed her temples while gazing mournfully at her empty sake cup. She then narrowed her eyes at the entrance.

" SHIZUNE! Where's my Sake!"

" Coming Tsunade-Sama!" Came the muffled reply through the door. Tsunade then turned her evil gaze at him.

" They're both staying with you, you little shit!" She snapped, which of course earned her a low warning growl from his father who, for the seventh time, grabbed his hand and started stroking it lovingly. Naruto quickly snatched his hand back and snarled. The older man just cooed and gave him an adoring smile.

It was official, his father was not only a stupid moron, he was an insane stupid moron. So, Naruto being the kind and gentle young man he was, decided to speak words of encouragement to his beloved 'papa'.

"I would call you an idiot but that would be an insult to the stupid people of the world."

"Naruto!" Tsunade hissed, but alas her reprimand was not needed, his father only crooned tenderly.

"He's insane." He deadpanned. He then admired the tic that he caused the older woman to have on her upper left forehead. Perhaps he should take a picture? That right there was art! Oh, the joy of being a nuisance to society!

"Brat," She growled, interrupting his inner musings," why don't you try spending seventeen years in the stomach of the shinigami? Then we'll see how sane you'll turn out." She looked at the older blonde man with a pitying expression. Of course the man didn't notice for he was still gazing at Naruto with a look of longing.

" It only makes sense that Minato would turn out the way he is."

Naruto only sighed then glanced at the emo bird that was still staring at him with an unnerving concentration.

" What about him?" He asked uncaringly while pointing at Sasuke. "Shouldn't he be in prison or something?"

Tsunade grimaced and shifted in her seat.

"As much as I hate to say this, he's only here because the fuckhead wants your man babies and will only stay calm in your presence…the fucker killed everyone else…" She grumbled. Naruto twitched.

Minato then grabbed Naruto's hand again but this time he gave Sasuke a suspicious glare. Sasuke, who finally stopped his Naru gazing, gave Minato a vicious glower in return. Minato tightened his grip on Naruto's hand and sneered at the dark haired man. Tsunade was amused, Sasuke was jealous, Minato was possessive, Shizune was having trouble finding the damn stash of sake she had purposely hidden from Tsunade, and Naruto was really, really pissed.

Well? ok? not so good? come on I need some feedback!