Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Mating Season ❯ The Hermit's Plot ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

-----Author’s note: Ok, to answer a couple of questions.....uh.....

1. I don’t know how I’m going to end this, or if anyone is actually going to come out with Naruto as the prize. I’m honestly making it up as I go, there’s no definite plot or ending. This entire chapter, right here? Written on the fly. Don’t know if there’s gonna be any ‘serious’ romantic stuff, either. This is, after all, my first shot at pure comedy.

2. I’m planning on each girl getting at least one chapter (though I might have some reader favorites get more than that). If anyone REALLY wants something to happen, gratuitous sex aside, I’ll probably give it a shot. Just let me know.....

I think I picked out a good one, for this chapter.....Good God, I hope my semi-perverted mind can keep up.....

I do not own Naruto, but any other characters and ideas are my own. Enjoy.....-----


Jiraiya, towel wrapped tightly around his waist, laughed at Kakashi’s accusation. Sure, it was true as all hell, but that didn’t make it any less funny. If anything, that added to the hilarity of it. But what was really funny, was how the copy ninja didn’t appear to want to put a stop to it.

Kakashi had his bare arms folded across his wet chest, towel around his waist. He had a washcloth wrapped around his head, from his nose hanging down over his mouth. His wet hair hung down over his Sharingan eye, leaving only the one eye exposed. It’s not like it was intentional, or anything, that’s just how everything had played out.....

The two men were alone in one of the several nearby hot springs, though this one had been targeted for a rather.....‘interesting’ encounter. The pieces of the game had been set, and soon the goddess of love would be smiling down on the whole resort. Jiraiya would be there, ready to gather all of the material he needed to complete his greatest masterpiece to date. Even the thought of what was coming sent his leg shaking, and his nose running red.

“Hey.....” Kakashi mumbled, slowly moving aside so that the streak of red in the water didn’t collide with him, “While this may be one of your greatest plots yet, I don’t know if you can count on Naruto to actually follow through.....unlike some people.....” He looked pointedly at the grinning man before him, “He still has a solid grip on his morals.”

“Ah, but that won’t be the only thing he’ll have a solid grip on! It’s what? 10 in the morning? I can guarantee you, he’ll be a man by this time tomorrow.....” Jiraiya snickered maliciously, knowing that one day, his pupil would thank him, if he ever found out who was behind today. He would thank him repeatedly, and beg for another opportunity to help with his writing. That was practically a given.

Kakashi grinned beneath the veil of his washcloth, “Sorry, but I can’t let him do anything to anyone. At least not while the fox is pulling the strings.”
“You mean ‘with’ anyone, right?”

“Sure, that’s what I meant,” He exchanged the same words he had with Naruto.

“But if he doesn’t play plumber with her, how am I supposed to get my material for the next volume of Icha Icha Paradise?” The perverted hermit grinned when he saw that this question tripped the copy ninja up.

“That IS a problem.....Can’t you just.....I don’t know, fill in the blanks from past experiences, or something?”

“Nope. That would ruin the authenticity of the whole experience, don’t you get it? As a faithful reader, I know that you, of all people, can appreciate the experience of my novels as though you were in them yourself! Because I derive them from real life experiences and images. That, my friend, is why I knew you’d help me.....”

“Hey, I never said I’d help. Actually, thinking about it, you won’t need my help at all. It’ll be impossible for you to convince Tsunade to let Naruto leave the village, even if it’s only for a single day. He can’t leave without her permission, either, or he’ll be labeled as a missing ninja. That wouldn’t end pretty.”

“Oh ho, ho, ho, you underestimate me!” Jiraiya laughed, swinging over to slap Kakashi on the back, “He’s already on his way.”

With a frown, he turned to look the legendary man in the eyes, “What did you do?” He asked, suspicion riddling his voice.

“Don’t be so worried! I had a nice sit down with our beloved Hokage, and after she tried to tear off my five most precious appendages, I-”

“You mean your arms, legs, and head, right?” Kakashi cut in.

“Well, not the head you’re thinking about,” He sighed when Kakashi lowered his head, fingers to the bridge of his nose, “She’s scary, we all know it. Anyway, she went a little psycho when I mentioned Naruto by name, but after a couple of minutes she settled back down, and I asked her in a more.....discreet way.”

“She doesn’t know he’s coming here, does she?”

“She thinks he’s going for some kind of training, but I’ve got the paperwork saying it’s alright for me to take a certain loudmouth with me for a day. Actually, Naruto doesn’t even know I’m going to be here. And he never will.....” Jiraiya pointed a stern finger to Kakashi, who moved away from the perverted hermit.

“If you say so. But why aren’t you going to let him know you’re here?”
“Couple of reasons. First off, he’ll want to waste time training or something, if he finds me. Second, he’ll think I’m ‘up’ to something.”

‘Well, you are,’ Kakashi thought, sighing.

“Plus, he thinks I’m out tracking Akatsuki’s movements, so I can’t let him know I’m actually right here!”

“Shouldn’t that be what you’re doing? Trailing Akatsuki?”

“Ah, don’t worry about them. Their activity has dropped off to practically nothing, so it’ll be fine. Besides, I didn’t call in the favors I’d been saving just to let the chance slip me by,” Jiraiya chuckled slyly.

“Favors? You mean blackmail, right?”

“Let’s just say.....I know some things about the Hyuuga family that they can’t afford to let out into the open. Some.....interesting.....things.”

“You mean.....”

“I do.”

“How interesting?”

“Very interesting.”

“Like.....chapter 22, interesting?”

“Like chapter 22 interesting. But you can’t tell a soul!”

“Wow.....that chapter changed my life,” Kakashi admitted, his eyes a little wide from the surprise.

“You never looked at a kunai the same way again, did you?”

Kakashi shook his head no, “Or a ladder. What a scene.....”

“And then he brought out the cuffs?” Both men inhaled sharply, letting the air come out slow and long, “Yep. Then, nine months later, Hinata showed up and put a cramp on that area of my research. But it’s ok, ‘cause I’m sure she’ll make up for it today.....and tonight.....and a little bit in the morning.....”

‘So, what? Is this a revenge thing?’ Kakashi wasn’t sure what he should do. They didn’t know for certain if anything bad would happen if Naruto made doodles.....and he certainly had a good reason to let the teen explore his desires, now! Ugh, such a difficult decision to make..... “Ok, so I know how you’re getting the Hyuuga half of the party here, but what about Naruto? You know Lee won’t leave his side. Not after Gai told him not to.”

“Actually, Gai was how I got to Naruto, without my pupil ever knowing.....” Jiraiya snickered darkly, making Kakashi a little nervous.

“Wait.....don’t tell me that Gai.....”

“How else do you think he stayed in such good shape? Jogging? Chapter 18 was the high point in his life.....”

The perverted author had to wait for about ten minutes before Kakashi got back from the restroom, which now reeked faintly of vomit, “Please don’t ever tell me where you get your inspirations from, ever again. After several hours with a therapist, maybe I’ll be able to forget what you just told me,” The copy ninja groaned, rubbing his head.

“Well, they’ll both be here, at any rate. So? You in, or what?” Jiraiya ventured for a definitive answer.

“.....What do you need me to do?”

-

“You sure this is a good idea? I’ve read a little manga, I know what goes on at these kinds of places.....” Naruto asked, constantly looking around in fear of being ambushed. He kept imagining Ino on top of him, and it was making it hard to walk.....

He and Lee were making their way towards a private hot springs, owned by a prestigious family, though Gai hadn’t said which family. The dirt path they traveled across rose up and down with the gentle slope of the land, a few trees dotted the scenery around them, but other than that there was practically nothing around.

“Why are you walking all funny like that, Naruto?” Lee asked, worried. When all he got was an angry glare in response, he simply assumed that the exploding lady’s restroom had left it’s mark on his leg, yesterday, “All the more reason for a day of rest and healing! Of course this is a good idea! Gai-sensei said so himself!”

“But what if there are.....no, there will definitely be girls there! They love stuff like hot springs, and spas, and mud baths, and all that crap! But when I get in the mud, I’m all dirty and immature.....damned hypocrites.”

“I think it’s different when you put it all in a tub. I think. But, Naruto, speaking of different, you seem a lot more.....‘youthful’, than normal!” Lee pointed out, raising a hand to his chin and glancing at his friend through the corner of his eyes.
“What do you mean? Being the ultimate girl magnet aside, I don’t think anything’s different.....”

“I’m not sure.....you don’t have a single trace of acne on your face, your shirt’s looking a little tighter than normal, your skin looks like it’s glowing in the sunlight! If you struck the ‘nice guy’ pose with all of your heart, the heavens would open up and rain down praise for you!” Lee stopped walking, near shouting in joy for his friend.

“Uh oh, you don’t think that maybe.....” Naruto, himself, stopped walking.

“That maybe.....my youthfulness is rubbing off on you?”

After punching his odd friend in the arm, Naruto spoke, “What if the mating aura is making me look better? I mean, animals do that kind of stuff, right? Like with smells, and stuff!”

“Oh! You might be right!” Lee smacked his fist into his hand, his circular eyes lighting up as though he had just discovered something, “Naruto! Remember yesterday, before we got back to your home?”

“When that mob of housewives from the market started to chase us down?”

“Yes,” The two continued to walk, their destination drawing ever closer. To break the bland scenery around them, a few little houses came into sight in the distance, “Did you notice how some of them started to give up the chase when we were pulling away?”

“Yeah. Guess we were just too fast. But what do you expect? We ARE ninjas,” Naruto replied casually, hands behind his head as he turned his gaze up to the clouds.

“But what you said about animals.....that made me think! What if the aura is like a dog’s scent, when they want to mate? You know, what if it only goes so far?”

“What are you talking about?”

“What if the women who stopped chasing, only stopped because they were outside of the aura’s range? Think about it. Why hasn’t Hokage-sama hunted you down, yet? She just let you go! I’ll bet that there’s a certain range.....Wait right here, let’s test it!”

Naruto watched as Lee made a mad dash for the houses before them, and could barely make out his friend as he knocked on one of the doors. A woman answered, and Lee pointed Naruto out to her. At first, the blonde ninja cringed, and was ready to run, but nothing happened. Then, to his surprise, Lee picked the woman up, and began to carry her over to him.

“This will only take a second, ma’am, I’m sorry!” Lee apologized, but he wasn’t sure if the woman heard him over her struggling to get free. After he had moved about ten yards closer to his friend, he stopped and asked the girl over his shoulder, “Do you want him, now?” When the woman screamed, no, he smiled, said ‘good’, And continued to advance towards his ally.
After repeating this process many times, the woman seemed to shiver under his hold, and then she felt really hot. He thought he heard a slight moan escape her lips, but he ignored it, “Do you want him now?” He asked, now about fifty yards away from Naruto.

The woman, still shaking a little, burst free from Lee’s grasp, and began sprinting towards the terrified blonde in front of her, “Yes!” She screamed, “Yes! I want him!”

Forming the seal, Naruto called a shadow clone to his aid. The clone rushed for the woman, diving into her chest and knocking her clean off of the path.

“Naruto, come on!” Lee yelled, running away from the woman, back on track to the hot springs.

Once the two were a substantial distance from the houses, and the woman who had tried to jump him, they slowed down their running to a complete stop.

“What the hell was that all about?” Naruto shouted, breathing heavily and pointing angrily at Lee.

“About fifty yards.....” Lee stated, nodding in self-approval, “That’s how far the aura reaches!”

“That’s what you were doing? Oh.....not too bad, then!”

“Of course! With youth on my side, there’s no way I can lose!” Lee exclaimed, flashing a thumbs up.

“Alright! Now that we have a solid defense, let’s head to the-” Naruto whipped around, walking face first into a big sign that read ‘Hyuuga family hot springs’.

“Looks like we’re already here,” Lee commented, not paying attention to his sprawled-out-on-the-ground friend.

-

“Neji, I’m asking this of you with the deepest of earnest. You must not let anyone touch Hinata! In the name of both the Head and Branch family, you must protect her innocence with all of your being!”

Neji Hyuuga looked into the eyes of the man before him, Hinata’s father. The guy looked like he was ready to keel over, the emotions on his face were all distraught, and his voice was a little quivery.

“If you’re so worried, why don’t you just cancel the trip? Hinata doesn’t even seem all that excited about it, anyway,” The teen pointed out, sliding a hand down into his pocket.

“N-No!” The elder Hyuuga nearly shouted, “I-I mean.....no. She has been training very hard as of late, and I feel that she must go and relax for a day.....and a night.....and some of the next morning.....” As he said these words, he paled in shades until he was as white as Lee’s teeth.

“.....Are you sure? She could just.....rest here, if you’d prefer. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind at all. This ‘reservation’ you made so long ago only just got brought up, so she had to cancel plans of her own to make it. She could just do what she had planned on doing, before.....”

“Don’t be foolish, Neji! But more importantly, don’t let Hinata be foolish!” As he said this, he clasped both hands on Neji’s shoulders, bringing his face up close to the teen’s, “Swear to me on your life! Swear to me that you will not leave Hinata alone with anyone!”

“O-OK, I won’t.....I gotta go, now.....she’s waiting out front.....” With those words, Neji hurried out to meet with Hinata.

With a sigh, the elder Hyuuga watched his only hope leave, “Damn you, Jiraiya.....I don’t know what you’re up to, but if anything happens to Hinata.....”

“I wonder what that was all about?” Neji whispered to himself, sitting at the end of a redwood bedframe. The room he and Hinata were sharing was like all of the other rooms the springs had to offer. Dark blue carpeting and bed linens, exotic looking potted plants, classy white love seat in front of a cozy fireplace, this place was good to go.

“Did you say something, Neji-kun?” Hinata asked quietly, stepping into the room with nothing but her towel on.

“Just wondering what you’d like to do first, Hinata-sama. Let me change, I’ll be ready in a second,” With that, he entered the bathroom she had just exited to get undressed.

‘Neji-kun wants to do things with me? I-I hope everything’s alright.....’ She thought, sitting where he had been a moment ago. She gasped a little as she felt an explosion of heat, and arced her back a little as she exhaled deeply. She had no idea what had caused that feeling, but she wanted to find out more than anything. Completely forgetting about Neji, she left the room, following her gut to the source of that incredible feeling.....


-----Author’s other note: Sorry, no fun sexual tension this time. This wound up being a bigger chapter than I thought it would, what with the plot holes I was filling up, so the comedy was kept to a minimum too, I know. But the next chapter will be all about Hinata and her attempts at Naruto’s ‘innocence’, so look forward to that. Thanks for reading.....-----