Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Mating Season ❯ To Succeed At Failing ( Chapter 7 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

-----Author’s note: I do not own Naruto, but any other characters and ideas are my own. Enjoy.....-----


Ow.....what was that? Ow.....it was a kind of pain he had never experienced before.....Ow! What the hell? He squirmed a little, but that only made it hurt more.

“Ow!” Naruto shouted, arching up to raise his back from the bed he was on, groaning in pain at the strange throbbing he was experiencing.

“Ow is right,” Kakashi muttered weakly from somewhere else in the room.

Naruto, keeping his back from touching the bed, looked around the unfamiliar room. Everything was white, and it reeked of sterile death. He was currently on a white bed with thin blue sheets.

“Are we.....in a hospital?” He asked softly, still looking around.

“Correct! Tell him what he’s won, Johnny!” Kakashi replied bitterly, veiled by a white curtain which separated the two.

“Johnny.....Johnson! Johnson & Johnson! Temari attacked me while I was in the shower! What happened?” Naruto grabbed the curtain beside him and jerked it aside to find that his white-haired sensei was covered in bandages and lying in a hospital bed, himself.

“You mean you don’t remember?” The jounin asked incredulously, leaning forward a little to stare into Naruto’s eyes. The blonde shook his head, eyes wide as he waited for the news to hit.

“I remember coming REAL close to going the whole way with Temari, but then something nailed me from behind, and I blacked out.....”

Kakashi folded his arms, letting his chin droop down to his chest as though he were going deep into thought, “Funny that you’d say that. ‘Nailed from behind’. So.....you were unconscious for everything that happened after that?”

Naruto nodded, eyes growing a little wider, “Why? Tell me what happened after that! Why is my butt sore?”

The copy ninja turned a very solemn look to Naruto, who cringed, even though he needed to hear the truth! He wasn’t going to have another Anko disaster, not able to remember what had happened during those 32 hours.

“I think it’s better.....if you never know what happened after you were thrown from the bathroom.”

“No! You have to tell me! I HAVE to know what I did! I need to know why you’re hurt, too!”
Kakashi opened his eyes again, casting the blonde a serious look through the corner of his eye, “Why I’m hurt? I’m hurt, Naruto, because I intervened and put a stop to the insanity. Getting you away from Gaara was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.....”

“G-Gaara? He found out about me and Temari? And.....he was the one who blasted me through the wall?”

“Yes. He was under the influence of the Shukaku, it turns out. He followed after you into the forests where you landed, and that was where he.....” The jounin trailed off, looking across the room to their window, which was letting in bright rays of sunlight. Yesterday afternoon had been the time of the two demons in the sky. A full day had gone by, since then.

“Where he what? Don’t tell me that my butt hurts because h-he.....” Naruto now trailed off like his sensei had, eyes growing just a little wider as recognition dawned on him.

“I’m sorry, Naruto. I’m sorry that I didn’t get there in time to stop him,” Kakashi apologized, a sincere look on his face, “But Gaara, he.....he sodom-”

“He kicked my ass, didn’t he?” Naruto burst out, “He got the wrong idea about Temari and me, and he kicked my ass while I was knocked out! That’s so pathetic of him, to beat me up while I’m passed out!”

Kakashi took a few seconds to stare at Naruto, who was still arched up over the bed to keep his backside from touching the bed. He had two immediate options. 1. Tell the teen the truth, which was that he had been abused as jail bait, or 2. Go along with the conclusion Naruto had come up with himself. Kakashi imagined what would happen if he chose the first option, and it wound up with Naruto plunging a kunai into his throat, and splattering the room with blood. He thought about it for a moment.....no, he didn’t want Naruto to die, even if he was a little upset with the guy. Besides, why make more room for the janitorial staff?

“U-Uh, yeah. Th-That’s what happened!”

“I knew it! And he must have literally kicked my ass, because my butt is so sore.....” Naruto tried to laugh a little, but found it to be tougher than he thought it would be. He wasn’t too mad at Gaara, because he was just trying to protect his sister, after all.

“Yeah. You could really say that he banged your ass all over the place.....” Kakashi muttered with a forced chuckle, laying back down all the way. He immediately wished he hadn’t said that, and clenched his eyes shut tight before hitting himself on the head.

“B-But Kakashi-sensei! We shouldn’t be here in a hospital! What if a girl gets too close?”

Kakashi waved off the worried comment, “Don’t worry about that. Gai, Lee, and Shikamru have removed all female personnel and patients from the hospital, and have set up a barricade which no woman may cross. Besides, I’ve got some good news, for a change.”
Naruto’s ears perked up as he twisted his neck to look at his sensei, without letting his back down.

“Yeah, I know. I’m surprised, too. Anyway, the nine-tailed fox seems to be letting the aura fade away, meaning that women are going to start being less attracted to you as time passes,” He assumed that the aura was fading because the fox had gotten some action with the raccoon, the other day, and that had sated its hunger for fun. “I’d say that within a couple of days, everything will be back to normal.”

Naruto thought he heard someone swearing outside his the window, but he ignored it, “R-Really? That’s great! Wait.....that IS great, right?”

“Well, you were the greatest babe magnet in existence for about a week, but you still managed to retain your virginity,” The copy ninja pointed out with a grin.

“.....That means we succeeded in the mission, though, right?”

“If you consider the past week of your life a success, than I don’t even want to know what you would call a failure. But you should still stay away from all girls until every last trace of the aura is gone. Just because you can see the light at the end of the tunnel doesn’t mean you’ll necessarily make it through.”

“.....I WANT to make it through, right?”

“Do you want to succeed?”

“Of course!”

“Then no. I consider your succeeding the mission the equivalent of your failing at life. I know what I would do if I were in your shoes. I would fail the mission spectacularly, that’s what I would do. But by failing, I would be succeeding in something much, much more gratifying than the ‘good job’ I would get for fulfilling the mission. Do you understand?” Kakashi was rubbing the back of his head, imagining how differently everything would have worked out had he been the one with the aura.

“.....No.”

“Ah, whatever. Forget it, let’s just relax.”

Perched out on the windowsill of the hospital room was Jiraiya, who had listened to the entire conversation, rather unhappily. It was time for his master plan.....he had to initiate it before too long, or else he would lose his chance forever.....

The perverted hermit jumped down to the ground, muttering to himself, “Time to visit the Akimichi family, and make good on a certain favor they owe me. I’m sure they remember chapter 11 very well.....” With that, the legendary ninja was off to blackmail the hell out of another ‘friend’, so he could get his devilish plan up into the air.

-

“WHAT?” Sakura thundered, slapping both hands down on the table, which rattled and threatened to cave under her strength.

“I kid you not,” Ino stated, folding her arms. She was calmly sitting on the other side of the table, completely unmoved by her friend’s outburst, “He tried to freaking rape her in his shower! I was there, and so was Shikamaru! You can ask him, if you don’t believe me!”

“Naruto might be a freaking retard, but even he isn’t that stupid!” The pink-haired genin stated, easing herself back down into her seat.

“Jealous because he never tried to rape you?” Ino asked slyly, lowering both elbows onto the table to leer at her friend, who was a little red from that question.

Sakura muttered some sort of pathetic response, letting her head droop a little.

The blonde leaned forward, intrigued and surprised, “What was that?”

Another mumbled reply, followed by leaning in a little closer, “Say it again?”

Sakura jumped back up, slamming a fist down on top of her ‘friend’s’ head, “I said he DID try to rape me, already!”

Ino, as though her head-splitting injury had never occurred, shot up to stand beside her friend, “WHAT?” She was the one to yell this time. She threw the girl back down into her seat, and dropped back into her own, “Tell me about it! When did that happen?”

Sakura continued to mumble in a low tone that Ino couldn’t really pick up on, so the blonde threw a spoon at her head.

Sakura took the spoon to the forehead, her head snapping back in surprise, “What the hell are you throwing things at my head, for?” She shouted, grabbing her fork.

Ino scooted to the side to avoid the eating utensil, which was now sticking into the back of the booth, “Because I can’t hear you! Besides, with such a big forehead to aim at, how could I resist?”

“Shut up, you stupid pig! You’re just bitter because no one cares about you enough to even WANT to rape you!”

“That’s not true! Shikamaru would, if I asked!”
“Well I didn’t have to ask Naruto! He just did it!”

“Oh, well, congratulations! That nightmare would doodle a potato if he could figure out how!”

“Doodle?”

“I don’t know, I’ve just been hearing it, lately. Look, forehead, just spill it and tell me about what happened!” Ino pointed at her sort of friend, hoping that their little argument was finished so they could get to the scoop beneath it all.

Sakura took a deep breath, sliding down her chair until all but her eyes (and forehead) were visible above the table, “Ok, this is what happened.....” She began, elaborating on her ‘encounter’ with Naruto.....

-

“And so you see, that little bondage rape scene goes a long way in ruining your life,” Jiraiya stated simply, wagging his finger at the elder Akimichi. He was currently sitting in the living room of the Akimichi family, speaking in a rather low tone with both of Choji’s parents.

“Y-You wouldn’t! There’s no way you would go public with that.....information! It was seventeen years ago! Choji’s only sixteen! It would kill him if he found out how he was.....conceived.....” Choji’s father exclaimed, jumping up from his seat and dropping to his knees before Jiraiya.

“You mean how you had her tied to a fire hydrant, and were screaming: ‘Bark for me! Bark for me!’ I’m sure Mrs. Inuzuka wouldn’t have appreciated that, very much.....not when you were saying it to your lovely wife, instead.....”

Mrs. Akimichi paled, and fell back out of her seat, unconscious.

“Baby, baby, that’s all in the past!” Choza exclaimed, stumbling back to his feet and over to his wife, fanning her with his open hand, “You know it was just a one time thing! I wanted you to bark for me, not that floozy!”

“Uh, dad? What are you guys talking about?”

The two men in the room nearly snapped their necks in turning to look to the door, which was hanging open. Choji and Kiba were standing there, looking very confused.

“N-N-Nothing! Your mom’s just taking a nap, that’s all! Go train, or.....eat! Yes! Go eat, buy whatever you want and just tell them to put it on my tab, it’s fine!”

Choji was gone, dragging Kiba with him. The dust had to settle before anyone could tell that the two were gone.
Choza turned very serious eyes to Jiraiya, who grinned a little in return.

“I wonder what Kiba would have to say if he found out that YOU were his-”

“Whatever you want. I’ll give you whatever you want, you just keep quiet. Ok?”

“That’s what I wanted to hear.....” Jiraiya chuckled to himself.

-

Ino blinked a couple of times. Most of her major cognitive functions had shut down, so she was mostly a pretty shell with functioning organs. What she had just heard did several things to her, but the one thing about it that may as well have ripped out her spinal cord was that she was.....jealous? Of Sakura? For her slight encounter with Naruto?

“Yeah,” Sakura mumbled, still a pretty crimson.

“Wow,” Ino replied quietly.

Both girls sat there for a few minutes, both getting redder as the moments ticked by. Finally, the blonde girl mustered up the courage to ask a very important question, “How big was it?”

Sakura looked at her friend like she was insane, “Excuse me?”

“How big was it? You’ve gotta tell me at least that.”

“I’m not going to tell you how big it was! That’s private!”

“I know it’s private, or I would already know! Come on, seriously.”

Sakura looked away, hiding her face behind her hands as she covered up the embarrassing blush.

Ino grabbed her friend by the arm and pulled her around to look her in the eye, only one of which was currently exposed from her concealing grasp, “If you don’t tell me how big it was, then I’m going to tell everyone!”

“No! You damned porker, I should have known you’d pull some crap like this!”

“Don’t call me porker, dammit! Your forehead might as well be a beached whale, but you don’t hear me calling you whale-girl, now do you? So confess, now, or I go public!”

-

“God, blackmail’s a bitch,” Choza muttered, opening the drawer to get the most forbidden item of the Akimichi clan. It had taken him almost twenty minutes to break the chakra seals locking the drawer up, but he had done it, and he was about to do something he knew he probably shouldn’t do.....

-

Sakura took her hands before her to give a visualization of the size. Ino’s eyes went wide as she saw the length Sakura settled upon, “That’s, like, a foot and a half! You’re freaking kidding me!”

“N-No, that looks about right. I know.....it was so huge, I didn’t really know what to do.....” The pinked-haired genin admitted weakly, as though the simple memory of it made her lightheaded.

“I know what you do with it! You stick it in your mouth! The rest usually takes care of itself!”

“I-I know, that, but it was just so sudden.....”

“Girl, when someone gets you a banana split that size, you don’t question it! I know you guys were just sharing, but that’s still a lot!”

“But don’t you think that it was too much? What if to Naruto, sharing ice cream is, like, an engagement or something?” Sakura asked sheepishly, praying to God it wasn’t. The thought had her long gone red, though.

“Don’t worry about it. So he treated you to ice cream. Big flipping deal,” She still was wondering why the hell she wanted it to have been her, though. Maybe she just couldn’t stand the thought of Sakura getting someone without any competition. Sasuke had always been a pretty nice battlefield.....

“I guess you’re right.....”

“Um, you DO know that your definition of ‘rape’ is a little bit off, right?” The blonde asked, tilting her head to the side a little.

“It is? I thought that an unwanted advance was a pretty accurate definition.....then, what did he do to Temari in the shower?”

Ino leaned across the table, and Sakura did as well. They met halfway, and the blonde whispered what she had meant by ‘rape’, earlier.

Sakura’s eyes went so wide that her pupils practically disappeared, “I’M GONNA KILL HIM!” She screamed, rushing out the door and towards the hospital where he was currently being held. Naruto had some hurt coming his way, and it was some bad hurt.

-----Author’s other note: I decided to split Sakura’s chapter into two chapters, like I did for Hinata’s. That way, she can get a lot of game time. Let’s face it. Of all Naruto female characters, those two are the two that most people want to see, right? So this was mostly a setup chapter for the next one, like Hinata had. So the next chapter will NOT be the final chapter, like I originally thought. Chapter count will hit nine, unless something goes wrong and I die, or something. Well, thanks for reading.....-----