Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Mating Season ❯ Coming To An End Pt. 4 ( Chapter 13 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

-----Author’s note: Sorry for the delay. I’m not sick anymore, but I got distracted with other things. One of these things is the creation of my own homepage, which I strongly encourage people to visit. Why? Because it kicks ass and I answer the many questions to life that people may have in intelligent and sarcastic ways. I even figured out how to get a guestbook, too. Say my name.

I do not own Naruto, but any other characters and ideas are my own. Enjoy.....-----


“No! They’ve all left the village!” The perverted hermit was so enraged by this, that a vein in his head was throbbing quite profusely, and was threatening to burst.

“Guess that means no more voyeurism for you. Too bad,” Genma grinned a little as he said this, not worried at all that Naruto was in one of the worst positions of his life, “Oh, we’re not counting Kakashi. .....Wait, where’d he go?”

Jiraiya swung his attention to the hundreds of women lying in the street, all sound asleep, “Did he.....”

“Do what you can’t, only hundreds of times. .....Without a break? He’s a......a god.....” The jounin’s eyes were wide.

Jiraiya dashed out to the tunnel which led to the surface world, but came skidding to a stop as someone dropped down through the hatch, landing on both feet and one hand.

“I-Impossible!” The perverted hermit gasped, taking an unsteady step backwards. A split second after the first form fell to the ground, a second followed. The first one stepped forward into just enough light to reveal who it was.

“I’ll bet you think you’re mighty clever to have set this whole thing up, huh?” Kakashi asked, folding his arms as he narrowed his eyes into a frown. He was fully clothed, and his mask was back on, luckily for everyone.

“H-How d-did you.....that’s impossible!” The older man was taking steps back, his finger pointed to the copy ninja’s face.

“Not for me, Jiraiya. For someone like you.....yes. Very impossible,” There was no way he was going to tell the secret to how he had done it. .....He was considering rewording that, but let it slide.

The second figure stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Kakashi from behind, resting her head against the side of his arm. Jiraiya instantly recognized her as the ramen stand’s owner’s daughter, Ayame Ichiraku! She giggled softly, “Kakashi-san, you’re so great.....”

“What’s so great about him? I could show you a good time, baby!” Jiraiya was feeling less and less like a man as the seconds ticked by and his plan continued to fall apart around him. Everyone pointing out his fatal fault wasn’t helping, either. In fact, if he heard one more comment about his ‘condition’, he was probably going to crack.

Ayame’s eyes went blank as she gawked at the aging man before her, who was flashing her a smile and trying to act like a hotshot, “Ugh.....Yeah, for what, four seconds? No thank you, grandpa.”

And crack Jiraiya did. That vein which had been throbbing in his head exploded, and he blacked out right there, on the spot. It was a good thing that he was such a renowned and powerful ninja, otherwise such a complication would have killed him. No lesser man could have survived such a blow. For you see, Jiraiya’s condition makes him no less of a man. It simply makes him less of a man that women want to associate with, or even acknowledge, but definitely not less of a man.

“Very good, Ayame-chan, you did your job perfectly,” Kakashi rubbed the top of the girl’s head.

“I did it just like you told me!” The girl replied, her eyes sparkling at the praise she was getting from such a dreamy man.

“Kakashi-san!” Genma ran into the tunnel to find Kakashi standing before a knocked out Jiraiya, “But how? How did you know we were here?”

“I followed one of the wires to a camera I found, and it led me down here. One of Anko’s little hideouts, it looks like.....” He looked past Genma and into the giant room filled with the static glow of television screens, “So you guys have been watching this whole thing?”

Genma swung down into a deep bow, “I’m sorry, Kakashi-san! I only did it because.....well.....”

“Blackmail? Don’t worry. He’s gotten a few people like that, lately. You’re definitely not to blame for all of this. But where’s Naruto? You’ve gotta know, with all of that surveillance equipment going.”

Genma, still down in his bow, shook his head, “Actually.....” He quickly explained how Naruto had split into five bodies, and ran off in different directions with different ninjas to guard him. He told him how they had left the village, and they had no idea where the blondes were, now, let alone which one was the real one.

“Well.....uh.....I honestly didn’t see that one coming.....” The copy ninja admitted, completely dumbfounded.

“Is Naruto-kun going to be ok?” Ayame asked, a hint of worry in her voice.

“B-But since Ayame’s not sex-crazed, we know that there isn’t a Naruto within a mile of here! At least that’s a clue.....” Genma finally came out of his bow, and was surprised to find three outstretched hands, each with a different item for him. A pack of cigarettes, a pack of pills, and a pack of.....

“One of these is for before Naruto gets caught, and the other is for after. The third is to drug him, and the other five so that they don’t remember any of this. Make sure you get them to the real one, please,” Kakashi had such a big smile on that the jounin could make it out through the mask he now wore.

“B-But there’s no way I can.....”

“I suggest you hurry. Shizune, after all, is after him.”

Genma was gone before the name ‘Shizune’ had even finished echoing through the tunnel.

“Atta boy. I think we’ve done all we can do, this day. Naruto will fail the mission, but succeed at being a teenage guy. It’s beautiful.....and kind of sickening.”

“Kakashi-san.....” Ayame was giggling a little bit as she said his name, and he found her hands sliding up his chest and towards his mask, “What that other ninja said before.....”

“About being blackmailed?” Kakashi asked, playing dumb.

“No.....”

Through a chuckle, the ninja asked, “It wouldn’t happen to have something to do with you being.....?”

“Mm-hm.....”

And the mask was off.

-

Shikamaru swung his arm up, nearly buckling under the weight of the attack he had just barely managed to block. He lifted his left foot up just enough to come over the sweeping kick aimed at him, leaping back away from his final remaining assailant.

Naruto watched in terror as Shikamaru back-flipped over several unconscious women, flinging a handful of smoke bombs as he did. Temari was swallowed up in the smoke, and for a brief second it appeared they had a chance to resume running. The forest clearing they had been stopped in was now littered with women that the two had been forced to beat down. Of course, Temari had done most of the work, herself.

The two males turned to try and run, but Temari was standing in the way, causing both to flash a sickly pale of white before they wheeled around to try and run the other way.

Using her fan, the sand ninja kicked up a mighty wind, slamming both teens into different trees, both sliding to the ground with groans.

“Now, now, Naruto-kun. It isn’t nice to lead a girl on, like this.....” The beautiful blonde pointed out, flipping Naruto over before straddling his lap, “Time to make good.”

“B-But I didn’t offer anything.....”

As he had grown accustomed to over the course of the past week, he was expecting some form of innuendo laden response to come out of her. What he got, however, was something much different. He got nothing. Absolutely nothing. Temari was sitting on him, completely motionless, and nothing escaped her lips as she stared back at him, so sexually frustrated that he could see it.

Leaning a little to the side, our young friend saw that his savior was Shikamaru Nara, who had wasted no time in bouncing back from his run in with the tree. He was kneeling down, his shadow outstretched and attached to her’s.

“Naruto.....I’m going to hold this for as long as I can. I want you to get as far away as possible, and go sleep with someone else, quick!” The chuunin ordered, not moving as he spoke.

“WHAT?” The blonde genin yelled, hopping up from beneath Temari, who took on Shikamaru’s position, “Why the hell should I do that?” He was actually wondering why he should go only to sleep with someone else when Temari was right here.....No! Bad! Don’t think like that!

“Because the pill Jiraiya spiked you with was from Choji’s family! I know what it does, and you’ll die if you don’t let the fox get his mating jollies!” Temari was starting to tremble a little bit as he spoke, and Naruto could see from the frustration and focus in his eyes that Shikamaru wasn’t going to be able to hold her for too long.

“.....WHAT? THAT MAKES ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE! YOU’RE A FREAKING PERVERT!”

“You’ve gotta trust me, Naruto! That day you saw Temari.....when you wound up in the hospital.....Gaara.....” There was no easy way to tell someone that they had been someone else’s love cushion against their will, he knew that, but.....

“Ok, then let me ask you this: Why can’t I just do it with Temari and get it over with? Huh? You’re making everything up!” Naruto crossed his arms, looking away indignantly.

“You can’t do that with Temari because.....because.....to me, she is-” Before he could get the words out, a wave of sand crashed down over him, smothering out his final words and breaking the shadow bind.

“There you are,” Gaara of the Desert spoke quietly, stepping into view through the forest.

Kankuro was a step behind, “And with our sister again, no less. You make me sick, you perverted bastard!”

Naruto opened his mouth to try and defend himself, but Gaara cut him off, “No. For what that demon inside you made me do, I’m going to kill you. It’s nothing personal, but more than being paired with someone I don’t even know or like, I hate being paired with another guy!”

The older brother looked down at the younger brother, a little grimace curling across his face. It was starting to sound like he as gonna spin off into one of his rare talking fits.....

“Just because I have the word ‘love’ tattooed on my forehead doesn’t mean I’m gonna look for it from anyone, you manipulative son of a bitch!”

“What are you talking about? I have no idea what’s going on!” Naruto shouted, throwing both hands before him in protest.

“I’m a little lost, too,” Kankuro admitted under his breath.

Temari jumped in front of Naruto, “Look, you little red-headed psycho, you’re not gonna touch a hair on Naruto-kun’s head! If you don’t get the hell out of here right now, I’m gonna gouge out your creepy sunken eyes and set them beside us on the ground so you can watch while I-”

“It’s ok,” Kankuro patted Gaara on the shoulder, “She doesn’t really think you’re a psycho. And the sunken eye thing? When you catch up on sleep, that’ll go away.....”

Gaara sniffed a little bit, keeping his lips from quivering as he spoke, “If she didn’t mean it, why did she say it?”

“Well, when women get hormonal, they say things they don’t mean. Like, ‘I love you’, or ‘I want to have a baby’. They don’t ever mean it.....She’s just sex crazy.”

Gaara nodded a little, turning his attention back to his sister, who was just finishing up whatever it was that she had been saying.

“-Him! Sound good?” She asked menacingly, eyeing her short brother like he was a total stranger.

Naruto, who was now on the ground behind her, sat there, motionless. He was so stunned by what she had just said she would make Gaara watch, that he couldn’t even move. Aside from his face being what promised to be an eternal scarlet, the rest of him was shocked white.

“Sorry, Temari. I’m gonna kill him, and then we’re gonna go home,” Gaara swung up a hand, the sand from his gourd filling up the sky as he prepared to attack.

-
“Come on, move!” Kiba shouted to the Naruto under his watch. It was taking all of his will and focus not to panic and soil himself. Could you blame him? No. He had Tsunade, Shizune, and Kurenai hot on his tail. Not to mention the swaths of Anbu.....

“You don’t have to tell me that!” Naruto replied, jumping up after Kiba who had just dove up into the treetops, “Get Akamaru to stall them, or something!”

“Akamaru’s at home!”

“Why the hell did you leave him at home at a time like this?”

“He was busy, ok? I-”

Tsunade swung down from above them, thrusting a kick down into Kiba’s back so hard that the genin rocketed through a tree before digging himself a crater to lie in the dirt below. Naruto dove down after his friend, but was tackled from behind by a giggling woman who he believed to be Shizune. When the two collided with the ground and rolled to a stop, he, of course, on the bottom, he found that he was correct.

Using a scalpel to slice through his jacket and black shirt with frightening precision, Shizune pulled the ruined clothing apart to expose his stomach and chest, which she starting kissing like there was no tomorrow.

The Hokage, along with Kurenai, dropped from the canopy above to either side of the two. A few seconds later their little foursome, a word to be taken quite literally, was surrounded by the female members of Anbu.

“DO SOMETHING!” Naruto screamed to the women around him, who were currently watching in interest at his current situation. Kurenai was lying on the ground with a tight hold on his pants down near the ankles, while Tsunade had him by the arms and was trying to pull him away, successfully removing his pants. The teen was holding on to the waist of his pants, however, and wasn’t about to let go. The part that was making this the hardest was how Shizune was still on top of him, arms and legs wrapped around tight as she continued to kiss him. Yes, the Anbu had quite an interesting thing to watch, indeed.

A vortex of wind and power came crashing down from above them, causing the group of four to pop apart in different directions. Well, Shizune was still stuck on Naruto, but otherwise the group split apart. In the aftermath of the surprise attack, Naruto found himself being pulled away so fast that he was literally trailing after his savior in the air.

“Are you ok?” It was Kiba, he was thankful as all hell to discover. He still couldn’t see him in the dust and confusion, but he recognized the voice and smell. It sounded as though the kick to the back had shaken him up a little bit, as his voice was just slightly hoarse.

“Shizune.....won’t let.....go!” The blonde replied, having to speak in-between kisses with said jounin.

The three burst out of the clouds of dust, though the sudden direct sunlight they found themselves in was just as blinding. They were in a forest clearing filled with tiny yellow flowers, and a scent that Naruto found he rather enjoyed. He didn’t have time to appreciate any of that, however, as he realized that it was not Kiba who was pulling him to ‘safety’, but rather, Kiba’s mother. He was also somewhat surprised to find that he wasn’t being ravaged by Shizune, but Hana, Kiba’s sister. How she had managed to pull the switch during the confusion was lost on him, but it had apparently happened.

The older woman flung Naruto to the ground, Hana hanging on for the ride. She jumped into the air right after him, but was forced off course by a flying tackle from her own son.

“Kiba! Thank God, hurry!” The blonde shouted to his friend, who was currently rolling around trying to keep his mother down, “I can’t keep them up forever!” At the moment, he was holding onto his pants, again, while Hana tried to pry them off.

“NARUTO! If you do anything to Hana, I’ll kill you!” Kiba roared, putting all of his strength into pressing his mother’s head to the ground to keep her from getting out from under him, “And if you do anything to my mom, I’ll make it my life’s mission to find your family, so I can kill them, too! I swear to God, you keep your pants on!”

But it wasn’t working out that way. With a mighty tug, Naruto’s fingers finally slipped, and he was left in his black boxers and split shirt. Hana, only encouraged by this victory, lunged at him with more energy. The blonde clenched his eyes shut, waiting for something inescapable. Following an alarmingly close crashing sound, the blonde jumped back and opened his eyes. Standing before him was Choji, currently inflated to the size of a small blimp. Hana was flying across the little meadow, skimming the ground and flowers as she did.

With a pop, the Akamichi teen returned to his normal size, turning to look at Naruto over his shoulder, “You ok?” He asked, tossing his friend the pair of orange pants he was missing.

Kiba was flung from his mother, but Choji caught him before he hit the ground. With a forced grin to welcome a little help, he joined the round teen’s side in front of Naruto, who was looking around as the members of Anbu began to appear around the clearing. Tsunade, Kurenai, and Shizune were among their ranks, as well.

“This looks bad. Wanna fill me in?” Choji asked, wishing he had a bag of chips to snack on. He then paused a moment to wonder how he could possibly be thinking about potato chips when he was smack in the middle of what appeared to be an all female assassination attempt on Naruto. Maybe Ino was right. Maybe he did need some sort of help.....

“You have no idea how bad it is. These flowers we’re standing in? Damiana,” Kiba stated, squaring his feet as the ring of women began to close in on them.

“What’re those?” Naruto asked, his own back against Choji’s and Kiba’s, fists raised as though he were gonna fistfight his way through sexually charged Anbu members.

“They’re aphrodisiacs, Naruto,” The boy with the incredible sense of smell stated, “They help get your motor running.”

“A flower does that? But.....I don’t feel any different, so it must not be that strong, right?”

“Your sense of smell isn’t like my family’s. So.....”

The blonde cringed when he heard the sound of ripping clothes not too far away, followed shortly after by Choji speaking, “Ooh, Ms. Inuzuka!”

After punching his friend in the face, Kiba made his last stand to protect Naruto.


-----Author’s other note: Yeah, two cliffhangers in one chapter. One with Temari, her brothers, and Naruto, and one with Kiba, Tsunade, Shizune, Kurenai, Kiba’s mom and sister, Naruto, and Choji’s in there, too. Guess what? I’m NOT going to resolve these conflicts next chapter. Nope, next chapter will be about Hinata, Sakura and Ino, and Tenten and Anko. Just so you know what to expect. Oh, I forgot to say that I finally gave Jiraiya a punch to the ego which he sorely needed. Good job, Ayame. Thanks for reading.....-----