Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Mating Season ❯ Coming To An End Pt. 5 ( Chapter 14 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: Serac 
The final chapter in the closing arc. Good God.....
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 12.16.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 5.2K | Visits: 1.3K | Status: Work In Progress
The final chapter in the closing arc. Good God.....
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 12.16.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 5.2K | Visits: 1.3K | Status: Work In Progress
-----Author’s note: There will be no note at the end of this chapter, which is the end of the story. There will be a short epilogue chapter after to cover all the bases, but the story will be mostly done with. I want to personally thank everyone who’s read Mating Season, and would like to thank everyone who reviewed a lot more. For all of the good and bad things in here, all of the crap poor Naruto has had to go through, all of the parents I hope don’t catch you reading this and send me some form of hate mail telling me to stop polluting their kid’s mind.....you know who you are, stop reading this.....it’s all come down to this last bit. It should be noted, however, that by ‘bit’, I mean the biggest most bad-ass chapter I could muster together for the conclusion. I’m now actually glad that I didn’t put all of the ending arc into one chapter, because it would have been over twenty-thousand words long. That’s way too much, I don’t care what anyone else says. Plus, you would only just now be getting to read any of it, and that’s good for no one.
For everyone who’s called me pervert, genius, twisted, god, disgusting, sick, evil, bastard, or some other variation/combination of praise/contempt, this is for you! Thanks for making my first Naruto fic, and second overall fic, a success, it’s been fun.
I do not own Naruto, but any other characters and ideas are my own. Enjoy.....-----
“What the HELL?” The white eyed guardian of one of the five Narutos made sure to put extra emphasis on the last word as he bent over backwards to avoid the end of a broom as it was swung in a wide semicircle over him. He slapped his hands to the ground as he flipped over, kicking the head of the broom clean off and into the air as he continued to back away from his assailants. Which happened to be what appeared to be the entire village of Konoha.
Naruto ignored Neji’s complaining, a little too busy to care, at the moment. They had won a small victory just by escaping the village and getting a fair ways away from it. A little over two miles before an Anbu member had caught up to them, slowing them down enough for the rest of the villagers to catch up. Two miles, though, was pretty good. At some point, the four Naruto clones would vanish, and then the real Naruto would have to deal with a five mile aura range, again. The whole point of the plan was to get away from as many women as possible, so when that happened, he wouldn’t have to deal with legions upon legions of them. Everyone outside of the five miles wouldn’t be a threat anymore, and that was their only real goal at the moment.
The blonde dove between the legs of a young girl, rolling to a stop as a woman the size of Choji after a chip binge came flying at him through the air. Using all of his strength, he caught her while still kneeling on the ground, and managed to deflect her more than throw her. The big girl bowled down several oncoming girls as she went crashing to the ground. Naruto swung a hand out to the side to catch another girl by the face, holding her back as well as he could, “Neji! Help!” He shouted, his other hand now waving around wildly as he clutched yet another girl’s arm in desperation, trying to keep her away. He was rapidly lost under a wave, sinking to the depths below.
Neji slapped the broom’s head as it fell from the air, sending it upside the head of the woman attacking him. Seeing the mound of women growing ever larger on top of his charge, he dove in to assist, himself being absorbed into the mass of morally deplorable flesh.
As he sort of awkwardly swam his way through the women flailing around his friend, the Hyuuga couldn’t help but think that it was an awful lot like the concert that Tenten had dragged him to. When a bra slapped him in the face, followed by an elbow to the ribs and a kick to the chest, he was certain that it was exactly like the concert he had been to.
“Naruto!” He screamed over the squealing and moaning of the women, pulling the bra from his eyes as he took another kick, this time to the side.
“N-Neji! Where are you?” The Ninetailed Fox’s container called out. The ensuing wet noises and half-protests that followed told Neji that the blonde was currently being raped in a rather violent manner, or being gored. He hoped it was the latter, but that didn’t seem too likely.
“Don’t worry Naruto, I’m coming!”
“So am I!” A girl exclaimed right next to him, her face red and her eyes clenched shut. Neji caught a glimpse of her as he struggled by, and was kind of surprised to find a little tear welling up in the corner of her left eye.
“He’s not even touching you!” The Hyuuga shouted, leaving the girl to her moment.
“I hope that’s not her I’m touching! No, wait, don’t do that!” Naruto broke off into a long, comically drawn out ‘no’. After a few seconds of more wet noises, Naruto managed to push the girl away from his face and call back, “HURRY! It’s like a mosh pit in here! Only with more love!”
“I knew it was like a concert!” Neji couldn’t help but congratulate himself on being socially knowledgeable for a change. When he was certain that he had reached the center of the mess, he kicked off one of the innumerable bodies available, and managed to start spinning. The Eight Trigrams Palms Heavenly Spin started up, and he let out the required chakra.
Naruto, along with enough women to screw in a lightbulb, flew into the sky. The women who had been below Neji were pounded into the ground, and many were sent flying off to the sides, hitting trees and rolling to stops on the bumpy ground.
The Hyuuga teen, himself, fell to the ground now that he was no longer suspended by anything. He jumped up to his feet in the blink of eye, looking up to pick out Naruto before anything else happened. He found him, and for a brief second, he let himself smile. The blonde was plummeting through the air, his clothes practically ripped to shreds. He was doing his damned best to hold onto his pants, though, which were still keeping together. Then he heard something that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up on end.
“Get him, sister!”
He turned his terrified gaze to find Tenten standing beside Anko, her hand aimed up into the air to point out their target. The jounin was grinning in what may very well have been sadistic glee. The slight shimmer in her eyes was as good as a promise that she would very soon be taking part in sadistic actions, at the very least.
“Naruto! Watch out!” Neji shouted to the blonde, who moved to make a seal.
“Not a chance, lover-boy!” Anko laughed, swinging her arms up, letting two massive snakes shoot out from her sleeves. Each snake took a bite out of one of Naruto’s arms as he fell, catching him, but keeping him from performing any kind of jutsu.
Neji watched in horror as the snakes lowered their captive to the ground, but refused to lift their fangs from his limbs, keeping him a little over a foot off of the ground. Kunai in hand, the genin rushed to save his friend. Cutting a snake in half shouldn’t be too tough, right?
Tenten leapt into the air, pulling out a scroll and letting loose a barrage of knives and weapons of all kinds down upon her teammate. Neji’s ultimate shield saved him, but he now found that his friend was in-between him and the snakes he needed to sever.
“Tenten, get out of my way! You don’t want to do this, trust me,” The Hyuuga prodigy growled, squaring into his fighting stance.
“You’re right, I’d rather do Naruto-kun. But I’ll let Anko play with him while I get you out of the way! We can take turns, after,” The genin promised, sending Anko a smile.
“Why take turns when we can go two player? It’s like a game! Games are best when you play them with friends, after all,” The jounin laughed, the snakes retracting back into her sleeves, pulling Naruto closer, “Don’t take too long.....”
Neji slung his knife at one of the snakes, but it was taken out of the air by one of Tenten’s.
“Neji, hurry! Anko’s scary! God, why did it have to be Anko? Anybody but her, again!” Naruto began to struggle against the snakes, but it was only causing more strain on his shoulders and his bleeding arms.
Two shuriken sped out from the trees, cutting the snakes clean in half. Naruto fell to his knees, his arms hanging loosely at his sides. Iruka jumped down from up above Naruto, casting him a quick glance over his shoulder, “What do you mean ‘again’?”
“I-Iruka-sensei! Th-Thank....” Naruto wobbled a little bit, then tipped over backwards, “I can’t.....m-move!”
“Not as fun as duct tape, but a little bit of paralysis is good to keep people still, too. Venom is fun, like that,” Anko laughed a little, slowly making her way over to Naruto. Tenten rushed Neji, and Iruka stood firm to protect his old student from his not-yet-girlfriend. He was wondering what his chances were gonna be, after this entire mess. It would be great if she just wouldn’t remember any of it. .....He still had no idea what was going on.
-
“Let’s hide in there!” Naruto whisper-yelled to Shino, pointing to the decrepit cottage they were rapidly approaching. It was sitting among the fallen trees of the forests, rotting along with the rest of the collapsed vegetation around it. The wooden planks which composed the deteriorating building were stained a dark brown, almost black on some spots.
“We should keep moving. We are supposed to put as much distance between us and the others as possible, remember?” Shino asked, wary to even slow down. Hinata and some Anbu had been after them, at the start. They had all stopped to fight each other, however, so he and Naruto had been able to break free and make some distance without interruption. They had easily made it five miles away from the village, going at their ninja pace.
“I need to go to the bathroom, ok?” The blonde replied, jumping down from the lofty trees to land several yards in front of the unimpressive building.
“Naruto.....” Shino sighed, landing beside his charge, “There might be a bed in there.....or worse, a desk.”
“I don’t see what that has to do with anything, but ok,” The stupid blonde opened the door to the building he assumed was abandoned, and found that it was, indeed, abandoned.
“Can’t you just do it out by a tree and we can keep moving? Heaven forbid you learn to hold it,” The bug-wielding ninja muttered, watching warily out through the door to make sure Hinata wasn’t still following them.
“Hey, we’re in the clear! Just relax, and we’ll wait it out here until everything fixes itself. I’ll be right back.....” Naruto opened the door to what he hoped would be a bathroom, wandering in.
Shino shook his head, mumbling to himself as he surveyed the old building’s interior. There was a crappy old table with a couple of wooden stools, some cabinets which he assumed were either empty or full of rotting goods, and several windows, only one of which was not broken in. A door led to what he assumed was the bathroom Naruto had chosen, and one other door which led to the bedroom, most likely.
He moved to sit on one of the stools, but it broke apart under his touch, termites spilling out. He looked down at the swarm of white bugs, wondering how they had all fit into the stool’s frame. He knelt down, picking one of the bugs up.
“Oh, that one? Sorry about that,” The genin mumbled, sitting on the other stool as the termite on his finger suggested. “So.....what’s your name? .....Al? Shino, nice to meet you. So how long have you been in this place? .....Wow, that’s pretty long. .....Hey, I know you’ve still got the golden years ahead of you, I was just saying. So, what, are you a worker? .....That’s cool. I’m a ninja. Just a genin, right now, but I hold my own. .....No, Al, I’m not trying to talk down to you. .....Of course I don’t think that I’m better than you because of my job. Hell, as far as I’m concerned, we’re one and the same. I just do what the queen tells me to.”
Shino listened intently as Al started to talk about how the king was a fat-ass who just laid around had sex with the queen every now and then, “Well, everyone has something they’ve just got to do. His job might seem a little better than yours, but.....well.....actually, his job IS better than yours. .....I know it’s bull. Sorry, Al. .....No, there’s no lady in my life, right now. .....No, of course I’m not! .....It’s ok, I’m not really offended. My dad’s starting to wonder, too. There IS this one girl that I like right now, though.”
Al, being the good-natured termite that he was, asked rather politely about this girl, and Shino felt obliged to answer, “She is.....the most kind-hearted, beautiful, elegant, and perfect girl I have ever met. .....Yes, she’s loaded, too. .....She really does sound like the perfect package, doesn’t she? But I think that she has a thing for..... .....yeah, the little blonde dipstick. Nice phrasing, Al. But it’s not like I can hold it against him, right? It’s not really his fault that she loves him, and it’s not like I haven’t had the chance. A lot of chances, actually. We’re on the same team.”
Shino watched as Al shook his minuscule head from side to side as if he just couldn’t get what he was saying, “.....It’s just.....hard, ok? I’m not good at opening up. Or talking. .....Well it’s easier to talk to you. .....No, I already told you I think we’re one and the same, I’m not discriminating against you. It’s just, you know, who are you going to tell? No one would understand you, anyway.....” He laughed at Al’s response, “Yeah, I guess that does make you like women. You’re alright, Al.”
Naruto, his ear pressed to the door, was thinking that Shino was talking to himself. Or an imaginary friend named Al. Either way was a little unsettling, and he was considering ditching the somber ninja and just heading out on his own. Then he thought of what would happen if he was found all by himself, and reconsidered. He was just opening the door when he heard a door open on the other side, and he froze up damn fast.
“Hinata!” Shino shouted, jumping to his feet, sending his stool crashing to the ground.
Naruto jumped away from the door so quick that the wind from his movement pulled the door completely shut with a click, which no doubt alerted her to his presence. .....How had she even found them? He thought for sure that they had gotten at least a mile in-between them! The sounds of a fight broke out in the cottage, but after a few short moments, it was over. Silence won the day, and the day was beginning to drag on.
He inched towards the door, terrified of what he might find on the other side. Well, it was a strange kind of terror, granted. A strange, half-hopeful, kind of terror. No! Not half-hopeful! He had come too far to fail the mission! After giving himself a quick mental pep talk on how it would be wrong to take advantage of Hinata, he set his ear against the door to try and guess who had come out on top.
After a few seconds of not hearing anything, he- BAM! A hand burst through the wooden door, fingers wrapping around his collar and pulling him through the door in an explosion of splintered wood.
Hinata stood there, Naruto in the air above her, gaping down at her like she were the undertaker, and Shino in the other hand, looking up at her with what little strength he had left. She had devastated him before he could even get help from his bugs, her gentle fist techniques proving to be less gentle and more bone crunching.
In a single motion, she tossed Shino into the now vacant bathroom, and swung Naruto and herself over to the other side of the room. She slammed Naruto down onto the table, and hopped up to take care of business.
‘Aw, hell nah!’ Al thought, sprinting across the floor from the bathroom to the table, ‘There ain’t no way I lettin’ that little biznatch take my boy Shino’s trick! Forget dat!’ The determined termite set to work on one of the table’s legs, calling out to some of the other termites to give him a hand.
Shino watched from his place on the floor in the bathroom as Hinata stripped Naruto of his shirt, and was rapidly working on the rest. He pushed himself up onto all fours, “Stop!” He let his head droop when that received no immediate response.
“Oh my God, you didn’t even knock him out? What the hell?” Naruto squeaked. With this new knowledge, he started to put up more of a fight, not something that was lost on Hinata.
She turned to look over her shoulder before speaking, “What is it? If I have to knock you out for this to happen, so be it!” She said that, but she knew better than to get up off of Naruto and give him the chance to escape. The chase was fun, but it had its limits.
“Don’t do this.....I.....I lo.....” The bug user was struggling with the words he knew he needed to say. It was crunch time, and he had to pull through with a win. This was more important than any mission he had ever had, “I love you!” He shouted, which was more than Naruto had ever gotten from Shino ever before.
The two stared at him for a second, Naruto having to lean over to the side to see his friend , and Hinata just sitting there, motionless. She shrugged, grabbing her shirt from the bottom and pulling it up over her head with both hands, “Then get those pants off and get over here!”
Before either one could suffer terminal complications from a major nosebleed, one of the table legs buckled under the weight, and the two went crashing to the ground. Naruto was behind Shino before Hinata even realized she had fallen. The bug user spotted Al speeding across the ground towards him to rejoin him, and wasn’t sure if he was grateful or not.
“.....She’s not a skanky-ass ho, Al! It’s the mating aura! .....I know I didn’t tell you anything about a mating aura, I didn’t think it was an issue, at the time!” Shino started to speak with the termite, but quickly cut it off by sending Naruto a worried look. The blonde helped him to his feet.
They both turned their attention to Hinata, who was back on her feet, and looking from one boy to the other, “So we gonna make a sandwich, or what?”
Shino sent another worried look to Naruto.
“Yeah, the whole ‘feelings’ thing makes it hard, doesn’t it?” The blonde asked, putting his hand on Shino’s shoulder.
“Speaking of making things hard,” Hinata had crossed the room and was now standing in front of the two with her hand clutching a fistful of man in both hands, “What do you say we start it off?”
“I think this has actually happened before,” Naruto admitted, vaguely recalling a.....hot springs? Oh, God..... “Yeah, this HAS happened before!”
“You son of a bitch!” Shino shouted, diving at Naruto and tackling him to the ground. The two started rolling around, arguing.
“Wait for me!” Hinata exclaimed, jumping in.
-
Lee stood tall among the plethora of fallen women strewn along the ground all around him. He was sporting some bruises and a beautiful shiner, but was otherwise no worse for wear, and was in his fighting stance as though he was waiting for the whole world to turn on him. The way he was feeling, he could have taken them all, too.
Naruto jumped up, pumping his fists into the air, “Lee! You’re awesome!”
The youthful genin turned to flash Naruto the nice guy pose. The lake they were beside reflected light off of its surface and onto the surface of Lee’s teeth, which created a light so dazzling that Naruto actually tanned a little bit, “I think we’ve stopped them all, Naruto! It was a little sloppier than I would have wanted, but our youthfulness shone through to the end! How great it is to be us!”
The two spent a few seconds laughing, complimenting each other, slapping high fives, and giving each other thumbs ups. Morale was high for the Uzumaki/Lee coalition. Victory was their’s. They could only hope that the other four were experiencing similar success. They had no idea, however, that they were the only pair so far to be able to celebrate any kind of success, as Shikamaru had called for.
“Wait! Do you feel it?” Naruto asked, stopping mid high five to look around.
“Yes, it’s just like that time in your apartment! Someone’s close.....” Rock Lee affirmed that he, too, was feeling the heavy feeling known as ‘lust’ filling the air. A sound from the lake caused both to whip around. The two male’s eyes glazed over a little bit as they saw the scene developing before them.
Sakura and Ino were rising from the water, both arching their bodies back as they did so that their hair came up from below, and then swung up over onto their backs, sending shimmering flecks of water into the air. It was all happening in slow motion, and Naruto would have sworn that he could hear the introduction to ‘Bittersweet Symphony’ playing. The tiny orbs of water were struck by the golden rays of the sun, creating a diamond speckled rainbow above the two beautiful girls in the crystalline water just a stone’s throw away. The entire scene was the most picturesque, wonderful, glorious thing either teen had ever seen. It wasn’t even totally suggestive, but they both still had a little trickle of red working its way over their upper lips.
The two stood there, watching in incomprehensible fascination as the water coursed over the girl’s bodies, their clothes clinging to them like plastic wrap. The kind that is impossible to use without having taken a cooking class. The two girls knew that their mission was almost accomplished, they only needed the one more push before neither their target nor Lee would be able to escape. They probably wouldn’t even want to. The two girls, still facing each other after having come up from the water, both knew what they had to do, and slowly leaned closer.
“Nu uh.....” Naruto’s mouth dropped open.
“N-Not possible.....” Lee, too, found his mouth gaping wide.
Moving so slow that it must have been a sin of epic proportions, the two girls came closer and closer to each other as the milliseconds crawled by. Time must have broken, because there was no way that anything should have ever moved like this was moving. A dead turtle stuck in molasses that was found on a tree stuck in a chunk of immobile ice moved faster than time, right then.
Ino raised her hand, brushing a strand of Sakura’s hair aside as her lips gently brushed her friend’s. She pulled back at the last second, her face going red as she grinned softly. Sakura took the initiative, pulling her blonde friend into her softly, wrapping her arms around her before pressing her lips against Ino’s.
“There IS a god.....” Naruto whispered, watching in awe as the two girls kissed deeply in the shallow banks of the clear lake. The water they had thrown into the air with their hair came cascading down around them in a soft rain.
“My youthfulness just got messy,” Lee admitted, bending over a little bit, but careful not to take his eyes off of the glory before him.
The two girls slowly, of course, backed out of the kiss, each taking a good long look into the other’s eyes, knowing they had just succeeded. Neither boy would be able to move for the next few minutes, they guessed, which meant that they had plenty of time to take care of the loose ends. As they slowly, yes, slowly, walked through the water and towards the two paralyzed ninjas, an unwelcome guest appeared between them.
“Don’t take another step my youthful, mating crazy, kunoichi friends! That’s enough, for today!” It was none other than Might Gai!
“Kakashi-sensei held his breath under water for seven hours yesterday,” Sakura lied, walking right by the jounin. Ino passed on the other side.
“I’ll be back in eight hours, Lee! Wait for me!” Gai shouted, running out into the shallow waters and then diving into the deeper parts of the lake.
Ino chopped Lee in the crook of his neck with an open hand, knocking the youthful teen clean out.
The paralyzed Naruto could do nothing but watch as the two girls rushed him.
-
Gaara hit the ground hard, the sand’s armor unable to protect him while he was wearing so many seals. He had taken the brunt of that hit, and how the world was spinning stood testament to that. Kankuro had already had his ass handed to him on a silver platter with all of the trimmings. He was lying unconscious somewhere a few hundred yards away, probably a ditch. Temari swung her folded fan into Gaara’s head a second time, and this time he made no indication he was gonna be getting up for awhile. She turned a smile to Naruto, who was still sitting there, unable to believe what Temari had told her own brother what she was going to make him watch. The sand goddess, eye gouging aside, planned to make good on every last word, too. She jumped at the motionless Naruto.
-
Kiba exhaled loudly as Tsunade’s foot found its way into his stomach, sending him flying up into the air. Kurenai lobbed Choji to the ground where he lay, defeated. A few seconds later, Kiba landed on him, both unable to do anymore. Shizune and Kiba’s two family members lunged at the battered and worn Naruto, who closed his eyes and crossed his arms into an ‘x’ before him.
-
Iruka flew through the air, busting through a tree like it was a window and he was a rock. He broke through a second tree, and that slowed him down enough that the third tree he hit only caused him to bounce off harmlessly. Satisfied that her friend wasn’t going to pose a problem any longer, Anko looked to see how her ‘little sister’ was faring.
Neji was hanging from a tree branch by his hair, which was tied into a rather untie-able looking knot. His face was emotionless, albeit bruised and battered. He was clearly unconscious, and would be so for awhile. Tenten swaggered over to Anko’s side. They both cast hungry looks to Naruto, who couldn’t move to save his life. The venom in his veins was making sure of that.
“Time to play, Naruto-kun.....” The two girls purred, pouncing.
-
Shino spiraled through the air, breaking through the wall and hitting the ground outside. He was down, his vision slowly fading to black as consciousness eluded him.
Naruto, who had taken a rather nasty palm to the stomach, was leaning against the remaining portion of the wall Shino had just been sent through. He was breathing hard, and Hinata was, too. Well, it looked like Naruto was about to find out what it was like to fail a mission, but succeed at life. The opal-eyed beauty dove for him.
-
Asuma groaned, wondering just how long he was going to have to swing from the Hokage’s ceiling before someone found him. .....He really wished he had a cigarette. Something was telling him, though, that a certain blonde he knew was going to need them a lot more, though. In fact, at this exact moment.....
-
Four of the five Narutos disappeared, leaving only one. This Naruto failed the mission spectacularly, and repeatedly. The explosions of chakra alerted Genma as to the true Naruto’s direction, and he dashed off to find him. He had a certain drug to administer, after all.
For everyone who’s called me pervert, genius, twisted, god, disgusting, sick, evil, bastard, or some other variation/combination of praise/contempt, this is for you! Thanks for making my first Naruto fic, and second overall fic, a success, it’s been fun.
I do not own Naruto, but any other characters and ideas are my own. Enjoy.....-----
“What the HELL?” The white eyed guardian of one of the five Narutos made sure to put extra emphasis on the last word as he bent over backwards to avoid the end of a broom as it was swung in a wide semicircle over him. He slapped his hands to the ground as he flipped over, kicking the head of the broom clean off and into the air as he continued to back away from his assailants. Which happened to be what appeared to be the entire village of Konoha.
Naruto ignored Neji’s complaining, a little too busy to care, at the moment. They had won a small victory just by escaping the village and getting a fair ways away from it. A little over two miles before an Anbu member had caught up to them, slowing them down enough for the rest of the villagers to catch up. Two miles, though, was pretty good. At some point, the four Naruto clones would vanish, and then the real Naruto would have to deal with a five mile aura range, again. The whole point of the plan was to get away from as many women as possible, so when that happened, he wouldn’t have to deal with legions upon legions of them. Everyone outside of the five miles wouldn’t be a threat anymore, and that was their only real goal at the moment.
The blonde dove between the legs of a young girl, rolling to a stop as a woman the size of Choji after a chip binge came flying at him through the air. Using all of his strength, he caught her while still kneeling on the ground, and managed to deflect her more than throw her. The big girl bowled down several oncoming girls as she went crashing to the ground. Naruto swung a hand out to the side to catch another girl by the face, holding her back as well as he could, “Neji! Help!” He shouted, his other hand now waving around wildly as he clutched yet another girl’s arm in desperation, trying to keep her away. He was rapidly lost under a wave, sinking to the depths below.
Neji slapped the broom’s head as it fell from the air, sending it upside the head of the woman attacking him. Seeing the mound of women growing ever larger on top of his charge, he dove in to assist, himself being absorbed into the mass of morally deplorable flesh.
As he sort of awkwardly swam his way through the women flailing around his friend, the Hyuuga couldn’t help but think that it was an awful lot like the concert that Tenten had dragged him to. When a bra slapped him in the face, followed by an elbow to the ribs and a kick to the chest, he was certain that it was exactly like the concert he had been to.
“Naruto!” He screamed over the squealing and moaning of the women, pulling the bra from his eyes as he took another kick, this time to the side.
“N-Neji! Where are you?” The Ninetailed Fox’s container called out. The ensuing wet noises and half-protests that followed told Neji that the blonde was currently being raped in a rather violent manner, or being gored. He hoped it was the latter, but that didn’t seem too likely.
“Don’t worry Naruto, I’m coming!”
“So am I!” A girl exclaimed right next to him, her face red and her eyes clenched shut. Neji caught a glimpse of her as he struggled by, and was kind of surprised to find a little tear welling up in the corner of her left eye.
“He’s not even touching you!” The Hyuuga shouted, leaving the girl to her moment.
“I hope that’s not her I’m touching! No, wait, don’t do that!” Naruto broke off into a long, comically drawn out ‘no’. After a few seconds of more wet noises, Naruto managed to push the girl away from his face and call back, “HURRY! It’s like a mosh pit in here! Only with more love!”
“I knew it was like a concert!” Neji couldn’t help but congratulate himself on being socially knowledgeable for a change. When he was certain that he had reached the center of the mess, he kicked off one of the innumerable bodies available, and managed to start spinning. The Eight Trigrams Palms Heavenly Spin started up, and he let out the required chakra.
Naruto, along with enough women to screw in a lightbulb, flew into the sky. The women who had been below Neji were pounded into the ground, and many were sent flying off to the sides, hitting trees and rolling to stops on the bumpy ground.
The Hyuuga teen, himself, fell to the ground now that he was no longer suspended by anything. He jumped up to his feet in the blink of eye, looking up to pick out Naruto before anything else happened. He found him, and for a brief second, he let himself smile. The blonde was plummeting through the air, his clothes practically ripped to shreds. He was doing his damned best to hold onto his pants, though, which were still keeping together. Then he heard something that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up on end.
“Get him, sister!”
He turned his terrified gaze to find Tenten standing beside Anko, her hand aimed up into the air to point out their target. The jounin was grinning in what may very well have been sadistic glee. The slight shimmer in her eyes was as good as a promise that she would very soon be taking part in sadistic actions, at the very least.
“Naruto! Watch out!” Neji shouted to the blonde, who moved to make a seal.
“Not a chance, lover-boy!” Anko laughed, swinging her arms up, letting two massive snakes shoot out from her sleeves. Each snake took a bite out of one of Naruto’s arms as he fell, catching him, but keeping him from performing any kind of jutsu.
Neji watched in horror as the snakes lowered their captive to the ground, but refused to lift their fangs from his limbs, keeping him a little over a foot off of the ground. Kunai in hand, the genin rushed to save his friend. Cutting a snake in half shouldn’t be too tough, right?
Tenten leapt into the air, pulling out a scroll and letting loose a barrage of knives and weapons of all kinds down upon her teammate. Neji’s ultimate shield saved him, but he now found that his friend was in-between him and the snakes he needed to sever.
“Tenten, get out of my way! You don’t want to do this, trust me,” The Hyuuga prodigy growled, squaring into his fighting stance.
“You’re right, I’d rather do Naruto-kun. But I’ll let Anko play with him while I get you out of the way! We can take turns, after,” The genin promised, sending Anko a smile.
“Why take turns when we can go two player? It’s like a game! Games are best when you play them with friends, after all,” The jounin laughed, the snakes retracting back into her sleeves, pulling Naruto closer, “Don’t take too long.....”
Neji slung his knife at one of the snakes, but it was taken out of the air by one of Tenten’s.
“Neji, hurry! Anko’s scary! God, why did it have to be Anko? Anybody but her, again!” Naruto began to struggle against the snakes, but it was only causing more strain on his shoulders and his bleeding arms.
Two shuriken sped out from the trees, cutting the snakes clean in half. Naruto fell to his knees, his arms hanging loosely at his sides. Iruka jumped down from up above Naruto, casting him a quick glance over his shoulder, “What do you mean ‘again’?”
“I-Iruka-sensei! Th-Thank....” Naruto wobbled a little bit, then tipped over backwards, “I can’t.....m-move!”
“Not as fun as duct tape, but a little bit of paralysis is good to keep people still, too. Venom is fun, like that,” Anko laughed a little, slowly making her way over to Naruto. Tenten rushed Neji, and Iruka stood firm to protect his old student from his not-yet-girlfriend. He was wondering what his chances were gonna be, after this entire mess. It would be great if she just wouldn’t remember any of it. .....He still had no idea what was going on.
-
“Let’s hide in there!” Naruto whisper-yelled to Shino, pointing to the decrepit cottage they were rapidly approaching. It was sitting among the fallen trees of the forests, rotting along with the rest of the collapsed vegetation around it. The wooden planks which composed the deteriorating building were stained a dark brown, almost black on some spots.
“We should keep moving. We are supposed to put as much distance between us and the others as possible, remember?” Shino asked, wary to even slow down. Hinata and some Anbu had been after them, at the start. They had all stopped to fight each other, however, so he and Naruto had been able to break free and make some distance without interruption. They had easily made it five miles away from the village, going at their ninja pace.
“I need to go to the bathroom, ok?” The blonde replied, jumping down from the lofty trees to land several yards in front of the unimpressive building.
“Naruto.....” Shino sighed, landing beside his charge, “There might be a bed in there.....or worse, a desk.”
“I don’t see what that has to do with anything, but ok,” The stupid blonde opened the door to the building he assumed was abandoned, and found that it was, indeed, abandoned.
“Can’t you just do it out by a tree and we can keep moving? Heaven forbid you learn to hold it,” The bug-wielding ninja muttered, watching warily out through the door to make sure Hinata wasn’t still following them.
“Hey, we’re in the clear! Just relax, and we’ll wait it out here until everything fixes itself. I’ll be right back.....” Naruto opened the door to what he hoped would be a bathroom, wandering in.
Shino shook his head, mumbling to himself as he surveyed the old building’s interior. There was a crappy old table with a couple of wooden stools, some cabinets which he assumed were either empty or full of rotting goods, and several windows, only one of which was not broken in. A door led to what he assumed was the bathroom Naruto had chosen, and one other door which led to the bedroom, most likely.
He moved to sit on one of the stools, but it broke apart under his touch, termites spilling out. He looked down at the swarm of white bugs, wondering how they had all fit into the stool’s frame. He knelt down, picking one of the bugs up.
“Oh, that one? Sorry about that,” The genin mumbled, sitting on the other stool as the termite on his finger suggested. “So.....what’s your name? .....Al? Shino, nice to meet you. So how long have you been in this place? .....Wow, that’s pretty long. .....Hey, I know you’ve still got the golden years ahead of you, I was just saying. So, what, are you a worker? .....That’s cool. I’m a ninja. Just a genin, right now, but I hold my own. .....No, Al, I’m not trying to talk down to you. .....Of course I don’t think that I’m better than you because of my job. Hell, as far as I’m concerned, we’re one and the same. I just do what the queen tells me to.”
Shino listened intently as Al started to talk about how the king was a fat-ass who just laid around had sex with the queen every now and then, “Well, everyone has something they’ve just got to do. His job might seem a little better than yours, but.....well.....actually, his job IS better than yours. .....I know it’s bull. Sorry, Al. .....No, there’s no lady in my life, right now. .....No, of course I’m not! .....It’s ok, I’m not really offended. My dad’s starting to wonder, too. There IS this one girl that I like right now, though.”
Al, being the good-natured termite that he was, asked rather politely about this girl, and Shino felt obliged to answer, “She is.....the most kind-hearted, beautiful, elegant, and perfect girl I have ever met. .....Yes, she’s loaded, too. .....She really does sound like the perfect package, doesn’t she? But I think that she has a thing for..... .....yeah, the little blonde dipstick. Nice phrasing, Al. But it’s not like I can hold it against him, right? It’s not really his fault that she loves him, and it’s not like I haven’t had the chance. A lot of chances, actually. We’re on the same team.”
Shino watched as Al shook his minuscule head from side to side as if he just couldn’t get what he was saying, “.....It’s just.....hard, ok? I’m not good at opening up. Or talking. .....Well it’s easier to talk to you. .....No, I already told you I think we’re one and the same, I’m not discriminating against you. It’s just, you know, who are you going to tell? No one would understand you, anyway.....” He laughed at Al’s response, “Yeah, I guess that does make you like women. You’re alright, Al.”
Naruto, his ear pressed to the door, was thinking that Shino was talking to himself. Or an imaginary friend named Al. Either way was a little unsettling, and he was considering ditching the somber ninja and just heading out on his own. Then he thought of what would happen if he was found all by himself, and reconsidered. He was just opening the door when he heard a door open on the other side, and he froze up damn fast.
“Hinata!” Shino shouted, jumping to his feet, sending his stool crashing to the ground.
Naruto jumped away from the door so quick that the wind from his movement pulled the door completely shut with a click, which no doubt alerted her to his presence. .....How had she even found them? He thought for sure that they had gotten at least a mile in-between them! The sounds of a fight broke out in the cottage, but after a few short moments, it was over. Silence won the day, and the day was beginning to drag on.
He inched towards the door, terrified of what he might find on the other side. Well, it was a strange kind of terror, granted. A strange, half-hopeful, kind of terror. No! Not half-hopeful! He had come too far to fail the mission! After giving himself a quick mental pep talk on how it would be wrong to take advantage of Hinata, he set his ear against the door to try and guess who had come out on top.
After a few seconds of not hearing anything, he- BAM! A hand burst through the wooden door, fingers wrapping around his collar and pulling him through the door in an explosion of splintered wood.
Hinata stood there, Naruto in the air above her, gaping down at her like she were the undertaker, and Shino in the other hand, looking up at her with what little strength he had left. She had devastated him before he could even get help from his bugs, her gentle fist techniques proving to be less gentle and more bone crunching.
In a single motion, she tossed Shino into the now vacant bathroom, and swung Naruto and herself over to the other side of the room. She slammed Naruto down onto the table, and hopped up to take care of business.
‘Aw, hell nah!’ Al thought, sprinting across the floor from the bathroom to the table, ‘There ain’t no way I lettin’ that little biznatch take my boy Shino’s trick! Forget dat!’ The determined termite set to work on one of the table’s legs, calling out to some of the other termites to give him a hand.
Shino watched from his place on the floor in the bathroom as Hinata stripped Naruto of his shirt, and was rapidly working on the rest. He pushed himself up onto all fours, “Stop!” He let his head droop when that received no immediate response.
“Oh my God, you didn’t even knock him out? What the hell?” Naruto squeaked. With this new knowledge, he started to put up more of a fight, not something that was lost on Hinata.
She turned to look over her shoulder before speaking, “What is it? If I have to knock you out for this to happen, so be it!” She said that, but she knew better than to get up off of Naruto and give him the chance to escape. The chase was fun, but it had its limits.
“Don’t do this.....I.....I lo.....” The bug user was struggling with the words he knew he needed to say. It was crunch time, and he had to pull through with a win. This was more important than any mission he had ever had, “I love you!” He shouted, which was more than Naruto had ever gotten from Shino ever before.
The two stared at him for a second, Naruto having to lean over to the side to see his friend , and Hinata just sitting there, motionless. She shrugged, grabbing her shirt from the bottom and pulling it up over her head with both hands, “Then get those pants off and get over here!”
Before either one could suffer terminal complications from a major nosebleed, one of the table legs buckled under the weight, and the two went crashing to the ground. Naruto was behind Shino before Hinata even realized she had fallen. The bug user spotted Al speeding across the ground towards him to rejoin him, and wasn’t sure if he was grateful or not.
“.....She’s not a skanky-ass ho, Al! It’s the mating aura! .....I know I didn’t tell you anything about a mating aura, I didn’t think it was an issue, at the time!” Shino started to speak with the termite, but quickly cut it off by sending Naruto a worried look. The blonde helped him to his feet.
They both turned their attention to Hinata, who was back on her feet, and looking from one boy to the other, “So we gonna make a sandwich, or what?”
Shino sent another worried look to Naruto.
“Yeah, the whole ‘feelings’ thing makes it hard, doesn’t it?” The blonde asked, putting his hand on Shino’s shoulder.
“Speaking of making things hard,” Hinata had crossed the room and was now standing in front of the two with her hand clutching a fistful of man in both hands, “What do you say we start it off?”
“I think this has actually happened before,” Naruto admitted, vaguely recalling a.....hot springs? Oh, God..... “Yeah, this HAS happened before!”
“You son of a bitch!” Shino shouted, diving at Naruto and tackling him to the ground. The two started rolling around, arguing.
“Wait for me!” Hinata exclaimed, jumping in.
-
Lee stood tall among the plethora of fallen women strewn along the ground all around him. He was sporting some bruises and a beautiful shiner, but was otherwise no worse for wear, and was in his fighting stance as though he was waiting for the whole world to turn on him. The way he was feeling, he could have taken them all, too.
Naruto jumped up, pumping his fists into the air, “Lee! You’re awesome!”
The youthful genin turned to flash Naruto the nice guy pose. The lake they were beside reflected light off of its surface and onto the surface of Lee’s teeth, which created a light so dazzling that Naruto actually tanned a little bit, “I think we’ve stopped them all, Naruto! It was a little sloppier than I would have wanted, but our youthfulness shone through to the end! How great it is to be us!”
The two spent a few seconds laughing, complimenting each other, slapping high fives, and giving each other thumbs ups. Morale was high for the Uzumaki/Lee coalition. Victory was their’s. They could only hope that the other four were experiencing similar success. They had no idea, however, that they were the only pair so far to be able to celebrate any kind of success, as Shikamaru had called for.
“Wait! Do you feel it?” Naruto asked, stopping mid high five to look around.
“Yes, it’s just like that time in your apartment! Someone’s close.....” Rock Lee affirmed that he, too, was feeling the heavy feeling known as ‘lust’ filling the air. A sound from the lake caused both to whip around. The two male’s eyes glazed over a little bit as they saw the scene developing before them.
Sakura and Ino were rising from the water, both arching their bodies back as they did so that their hair came up from below, and then swung up over onto their backs, sending shimmering flecks of water into the air. It was all happening in slow motion, and Naruto would have sworn that he could hear the introduction to ‘Bittersweet Symphony’ playing. The tiny orbs of water were struck by the golden rays of the sun, creating a diamond speckled rainbow above the two beautiful girls in the crystalline water just a stone’s throw away. The entire scene was the most picturesque, wonderful, glorious thing either teen had ever seen. It wasn’t even totally suggestive, but they both still had a little trickle of red working its way over their upper lips.
The two stood there, watching in incomprehensible fascination as the water coursed over the girl’s bodies, their clothes clinging to them like plastic wrap. The kind that is impossible to use without having taken a cooking class. The two girls knew that their mission was almost accomplished, they only needed the one more push before neither their target nor Lee would be able to escape. They probably wouldn’t even want to. The two girls, still facing each other after having come up from the water, both knew what they had to do, and slowly leaned closer.
“Nu uh.....” Naruto’s mouth dropped open.
“N-Not possible.....” Lee, too, found his mouth gaping wide.
Moving so slow that it must have been a sin of epic proportions, the two girls came closer and closer to each other as the milliseconds crawled by. Time must have broken, because there was no way that anything should have ever moved like this was moving. A dead turtle stuck in molasses that was found on a tree stuck in a chunk of immobile ice moved faster than time, right then.
Ino raised her hand, brushing a strand of Sakura’s hair aside as her lips gently brushed her friend’s. She pulled back at the last second, her face going red as she grinned softly. Sakura took the initiative, pulling her blonde friend into her softly, wrapping her arms around her before pressing her lips against Ino’s.
“There IS a god.....” Naruto whispered, watching in awe as the two girls kissed deeply in the shallow banks of the clear lake. The water they had thrown into the air with their hair came cascading down around them in a soft rain.
“My youthfulness just got messy,” Lee admitted, bending over a little bit, but careful not to take his eyes off of the glory before him.
The two girls slowly, of course, backed out of the kiss, each taking a good long look into the other’s eyes, knowing they had just succeeded. Neither boy would be able to move for the next few minutes, they guessed, which meant that they had plenty of time to take care of the loose ends. As they slowly, yes, slowly, walked through the water and towards the two paralyzed ninjas, an unwelcome guest appeared between them.
“Don’t take another step my youthful, mating crazy, kunoichi friends! That’s enough, for today!” It was none other than Might Gai!
“Kakashi-sensei held his breath under water for seven hours yesterday,” Sakura lied, walking right by the jounin. Ino passed on the other side.
“I’ll be back in eight hours, Lee! Wait for me!” Gai shouted, running out into the shallow waters and then diving into the deeper parts of the lake.
Ino chopped Lee in the crook of his neck with an open hand, knocking the youthful teen clean out.
The paralyzed Naruto could do nothing but watch as the two girls rushed him.
-
Gaara hit the ground hard, the sand’s armor unable to protect him while he was wearing so many seals. He had taken the brunt of that hit, and how the world was spinning stood testament to that. Kankuro had already had his ass handed to him on a silver platter with all of the trimmings. He was lying unconscious somewhere a few hundred yards away, probably a ditch. Temari swung her folded fan into Gaara’s head a second time, and this time he made no indication he was gonna be getting up for awhile. She turned a smile to Naruto, who was still sitting there, unable to believe what Temari had told her own brother what she was going to make him watch. The sand goddess, eye gouging aside, planned to make good on every last word, too. She jumped at the motionless Naruto.
-
Kiba exhaled loudly as Tsunade’s foot found its way into his stomach, sending him flying up into the air. Kurenai lobbed Choji to the ground where he lay, defeated. A few seconds later, Kiba landed on him, both unable to do anymore. Shizune and Kiba’s two family members lunged at the battered and worn Naruto, who closed his eyes and crossed his arms into an ‘x’ before him.
-
Iruka flew through the air, busting through a tree like it was a window and he was a rock. He broke through a second tree, and that slowed him down enough that the third tree he hit only caused him to bounce off harmlessly. Satisfied that her friend wasn’t going to pose a problem any longer, Anko looked to see how her ‘little sister’ was faring.
Neji was hanging from a tree branch by his hair, which was tied into a rather untie-able looking knot. His face was emotionless, albeit bruised and battered. He was clearly unconscious, and would be so for awhile. Tenten swaggered over to Anko’s side. They both cast hungry looks to Naruto, who couldn’t move to save his life. The venom in his veins was making sure of that.
“Time to play, Naruto-kun.....” The two girls purred, pouncing.
-
Shino spiraled through the air, breaking through the wall and hitting the ground outside. He was down, his vision slowly fading to black as consciousness eluded him.
Naruto, who had taken a rather nasty palm to the stomach, was leaning against the remaining portion of the wall Shino had just been sent through. He was breathing hard, and Hinata was, too. Well, it looked like Naruto was about to find out what it was like to fail a mission, but succeed at life. The opal-eyed beauty dove for him.
-
Asuma groaned, wondering just how long he was going to have to swing from the Hokage’s ceiling before someone found him. .....He really wished he had a cigarette. Something was telling him, though, that a certain blonde he knew was going to need them a lot more, though. In fact, at this exact moment.....
-
Four of the five Narutos disappeared, leaving only one. This Naruto failed the mission spectacularly, and repeatedly. The explosions of chakra alerted Genma as to the true Naruto’s direction, and he dashed off to find him. He had a certain drug to administer, after all.