Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Mondays Suck ❯ Chapter 1

Mondays suck.

Stupid Genma and his stupid Raidou with their stupid faces and their endless supply of stupid sake.

Note to self: Sundays are not weekends no matter how much stupid people with stupid faces inist they are just so they can get you drunk off your butt on a school night. Iruka thought as he stumbled gracelessly around his apartment in search of his vest.

They better pray I'm not late to class. I'd kill them very dead for having stupid faces and stupid sake. They're very very lucky I woke up before classes started.

Crap on a stick! I work the missions room today… Is it terribly wrong to kill your friends?

Iruka picked up his jacket and jutsu-ed to class as quickly as he could, and as he could tell you, teaching with a hang over is highly in advisable, especially when it's test day and the brats actually expect you to be able to read their handwriting. Can you say headache?

And then of course there's the missions room where you get to read reports from jounins whose writing was somehow worse than his students. Iruka could have sworn they did it on purpose. And not only that but the `reports' are really just random bits of information that seemed to imply mission sex without really implying it. And these `reports' were written on stained, torn wet, and very smelly paper that one couldn't really even call paper anymore because it was so fucked… Iruka prayed that `fucked' wasn't literal. Can you say migrane-so-bad-you've-puked-five-times?

And just when poor `Ruka-chan's day couldn't get any worse, in walked a certain jounin with silver hair and only one eye. Make that six times with the puking… But being the profession he was, he wiped his mouth, plastered on that hideously fake smile and restrained himself from screaming and/or murdering the world.

“Yo.” Kakashi said dully, visible eye drooping, looking terribly bored as though he wasn't bleeding and his clothes weren't ripped, but Iruka ignored all of that hoping to Kami the jounin might just go away. He was in no mood to deal with this.

“Konichiwa Kakashi-san. Do you have your report?” Kakashi responded by reaching into his vest, pulling out the mangled report, and handing it to the chuunin. “Hai. That's all.” Iruka said, trying to hide his annoyance at the pathetic `report' he'd just received. Kakashi stood hovering over the younger man, and after a very long moment and a failed attempt to ignore the other man, Iruak looked up from the paper. “You can go.” He barely hid the edge in his voice.

“Not really.” Kakashi said in his usual dull tone before his eye rolled back and his body went limp. Iruka barely had enough time to react. He jumped up and caught Kakashi just before said jounin experienced a direct blow to the face via floor.

Yup, he was definitely in no mood to deal with this.

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When he finally got the stupid jounin to the hospital, he was quite ready to kill anything that moved. Thus, when Tsunade walked in, it took will power he didn't know he had not to try to gut her with a kunai.

“Umino-san, what brings you here?”

“I brought that here.” Iruka practically growled gesturing toward Kakashi.

“Ouch. His mission sucked.” Tsunade commented rather coldly.

“With all due respect Hokage-sama, I don't care.” Iruka turned to leave.

“Hold it Umino-san.” Iruka sighed heavily and turned to face Tsunade who had gone to work examining the unconscious man.

“Hai?”

“Why were you the one to bring him here?”

“He passed out in the missions room.” Iruka responded, only getting more impatient by the minute.

“And was he acting strangely before he dropped?”

“Not for him.”

“Hmm. That's weird.” Tsunade commented, more to herself than the Iruka.

“What?”

“I thought you didn't care.” Tsunade mocked. At this point Iruka seriously considered jumping out the window and landing on his neck. “He was poisoned, but he must have been in shock not to react to it. All well, he should be fine by morning… mostly.”

“Great. Bye.” And with that, Iruka left. When the chuunin was finally gone, Raidou slipped into the room.

“Hokage-sama?”

“You were in the missions room?”

“Hai.”

“Did you see what happened between Umino-san and Hatake-san?”

“Hai.”

“Good. Iruka-san was so hungover I almost wanted to puke. Did you notice anything?”

“Ano… Kakashi-san was…” Raidou trailed off clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

“Right. I figured as much.” Raidou sighed in relief that Tsunade seemed to get where he was going. “You'd better keep an eye on Iruka-san. I'm not exactly sure what Hatake-san will do when he wakes up.”

“I think we should really just let him do… whatever he's going to do.” Raidou remarked purposely.

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, but mangaged to look amused. “Are you saying our dear chuunin—“

“I really think so.”

Tsunade grinned almost devilishly. “This certainly will be interesting.

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Iruka slammed his hand on the screaming alarm clock, effectively silencing it. He let out a long sigh. He'd gotten almost no sleep. He couldn't shake the feeling that he'd missed something important detail about Kakashi the day before. Not that he was particularly fond of the jounin or anything, but he certainly didn't want to be the one everyone blamed for the imfamous copy-nin's demise. (And yes, he was quite sure that Kakashi was going to die, and that it was going to be he fault because that's what happens when you stay up all night thinking about such things.) Poisons worked discretely. It was important to take in every detail, and since Iruka was the last one to see Kakashi conscious, it was his duty to report any oddities about the porn-lover's behaviour. Iruka had gone over the scene countless times in his head, but couldn't pinpoint anything particularly odd about the jounin.

He slid lazily out of bed and prepared for class, but his mind remained elsewhere. He didn't have to work the missions room, so he could always visit the stupid man after class.

Tsunade-sama said he should be alright today, but surely they'll keep him for observation… that is unless he doesn't he doesn't want to stay. I don't know if anyone can make that man do something he doesn't want to do. I'd drop dead if he was ever on time. Iruka smiled at the thought before he stopped dead in his tracks. His missions report was on time yesterday… is that what I've been missing? Is there some kind of punctuality poison out there. Iruka mental slapped himself for even thinking that… hard.

That has to be the dumbest thing I have ever come up with. Think Umino. He was on time and he was badly injured. Why would he actually come hand a missions report in on time for the first time in his life when he obviously should have gone to the hospital? The report wouldn't have even been considered late… come to think of it, he must've passed the hospital to get to the missions room, so it's not even like he was dropping it off on the way. What was he thinking. Iruka sighed and resigned himself to just asking the jounin himself.

Iruka's thoughts were plagued by worry and confusion for the rest of the day. He had a hard time teaching he was so preoccupied, and he ended up snapping at his students more than was necessary. When classes finally ended, he packed up almost as quickly as his students, ready to head for the hospital, but when he turned for the door, he found a very smug looking Genma.

“What do you want?” Iruka asked annoyed, clearly he was in a hurry.

“I heard about Kakashi-san.”

“Figures. Look, I really need to go, you can torment me later.”

“Where are you off to in such a hurry?”

“To see Kakashi-san. You just said you knew.”

Genma looked lightly shocked. “ I know about Kakashi-san. I didn't figure… I guess I just never thought…”

“That I liked him?”

“Well, yeah. You seem to hate him in fact.”

“Yeah, well, we can discuss this later. I really should get going.”

“You know what, I'll leave. Clearly you two have some things to discuss.” Genma commented staring out over Iruka's shoulder and out the window.

“What?” Iruka asked confused.

Genma gestured toward the window. When Iruka looked to where he was pointing, he saw a Kakashi in a tree. Now what would a Kakashi that's supposed to be dead be doing in a tree? Upon seeing the very not dead jounin practically stalking him, Iruka grew angry and stormed out of the classroom to give the Kakashi a well deserved scolding… for being alive and effectively solving his problem. Lack of sleep apparently leads to lack of logic.

In the hall just outside his classroom, Iruka ran into Raidou, quite literally. And while the scarred man had planned on inquiring about the whereabouts of a certain senbon-sucker, he was busy practically getting run over. Raidou saw Genma standing in the chuunin's classroom, and wanted to rip him in half.

“What the hell did you do to him?!?!” Raidou yelled, quite naturally assuming Genma had been the cause of Iruka's foul mood. It wouldn't be the first time…

Genma put his arms up defensively and slowly backed away explaining, “It wasn't me! It was the one eyed man!”

A/N: There will be smex in the next chapter, I promise! Please read and review folks!