Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Naruto's Daily Life...mainly misfortunes! ❯ Random Bad Guy! ( Chapter 1 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Hitsugaya_Edo121 
Hehe VERY Random this one ^^ Hope you like, comment if you like (or if you dont) ^^
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 05.13.2006 | Updated On: 05.13.2006 | Pages: 5 | Words: 2.4K | Visits: 202 | Status: Completed
Hehe VERY Random this one ^^ Hope you like, comment if you like (or if you dont) ^^
Anime/Manga: Naruto Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 05.13.2006 | Updated On: 05.13.2006 | Pages: 5 | Words: 2.4K | Visits: 202 | Status: Completed
Naruto: *whistling, walking along a forest path*
Random Bad guy: *jumps out of tree* Heeee-ya! I am a ninja! I am also a bad guy! Fear me!
Naruto: Yo, I'm a ninja too!
RBG:…Yes but are you a BAD ninja?
Naruto:….no
RBG: Muhahaha!! Now you will pay the ultimate price!
Naruto: Christ! You don't mean I have to pay money do you?!
RBG:…no….NO! I mean you have to DIE!
Naruto:…Oooooh….then why didn't you just say that?
RBG: *twitching* Look - just stand still so I can crush you -….with my SWORD!
Naruto: *put up hands* Whoa-whoa-whoa. Ninja's do NOT use swords.
RBG:…yes they do
Naruto: Dude they don't!
RBG:….*holds chin*….riiiight, so then what do they use?
Naruto: You fail at being a ninja
RBG: I'M NEW OKAY?! JUST FUCKING TELL ME!
Naruto: Okay okay….um…you use Kunai…and…daggers….and…bombs n stuff
RBG: Bombs n stuff…
Naruto: Yup
RBG:…hmm intriguing…well anyway, I have none of those so they sword will have to do *charge*
Naruto: (heh heh heh, I'll wait for him to get close with that then I'll use the replacement technique. Muhaha, he's be SO confused!) *grin*
RBG: SHING! *swings sword*
Naruto: *does hand seals* Hah!
RBG:….um….why are you laughing?
Naruto: because! I've used the replacement technique and I'm actually somewhere else now
RBG:…um…no you're not?
Naruto: Dude, I so am.
RBG: you're so not! You're right here, I've stabbed you with my sword….You're bleeding!
Naruto: aaaah the replacement technique, heh, you think I'm actually here bleeding to death
RBG:….BUT YOU ARE!!!
Naruto: so you THINK!
Sasuke: *steps out from behind a tree* Um no he's right.
Naruto:….no…I'm right
Sasuke: Don't be an ass, it's so blatantly obvious that you've not done the seals right and now you're gunna die like an idiot *sigh*…I love this job
Naruto:….ah….i was wondering about that….so…a little help? I do have a sword in me.
RBG: *twitch* I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU THAT FOR THE PAST 5 MINUTES!!
Naruto: Well yes, but I'm still right, cause I'm a ninja
RBG: So am i!
Naruto: Yeah…but you fail
RBG: Okay that's IT you DIE now!! *twists sword*
Naruto: A THOUSAND PAINFUL AGONIES OF DEATH AND BLOOD!!
Sasuke: Oh crud…should I save him? Should I laugh? Should I do a tribal rain dance? I can't decide….so I'm just going to stand here and gawk…*gawks*
Naruto: PAIN AND AGONY…..AND PAIN!!
Lee: I will save you! *kicks ass*
Sasuke:….i want to know where he came from…and whose ass he's kicking
Naruto: He just generally kicks it
Lee: It is a hidden secret, you cannot know…or ever! Where's Gai-sensei? *Stares at Sasuke*
Sasuke:*twitch* THE EYEBROWS!! I CANT TAKE IT!! *runs off screaming like a girl*
Lee: Heh heh heh, I rock…like my name! Anyway, So now I've owned that Samurai guy-
RBG: I'm a ninja!
Lee:….but ninja's don't use swords
RBG: Not this again…fucking ninjas - THEY SHOULD….*stalks away mumbling*
Naruto:….weird guy…anyway, thanks for saving me (even though I didn't need it-god those eyebrows are piercing MY SOUL)
Lee: Well that's not a problem, I'm going now to find Gai-sensei and beseech my love to him. *jumps away*
Naruto:….*shudders* Where did Sasuke go?
RBG:…hmm intriguing…well anyway, I have none of those so they sword will have to do *charge*
Naruto: (heh heh heh, I'll wait for him to get close with that then I'll use the replacement technique. Muhaha, he's be SO confused!) *grin*
RBG: SHING! *swings sword*
Naruto: *does hand seals* Hah!
RBG:….um….why are you laughing?
Naruto: because! I've used the replacement technique and I'm actually somewhere else now
RBG:…um…no you're not?
Naruto: Dude, I so am.
RBG: you're so not! You're right here, I've stabbed you with my sword….You're bleeding!
Naruto: aaaah the replacement technique, heh, you think I'm actually here bleeding to death
RBG:….BUT YOU ARE!!!
Naruto: so you THINK!
Sasuke: *steps out from behind a tree* Um no he's right.
Naruto:….no…I'm right
Sasuke: Don't be an ass, it's so blatantly obvious that you've not done the seals right and now you're gunna die like an idiot *sigh*…I love this job
Naruto:….ah….i was wondering about that….so…a little help? I do have a sword in me.
RBG: *twitch* I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU THAT FOR THE PAST 5 MINUTES!!
Naruto: Well yes, but I'm still right, cause I'm a ninja
RBG: So am i!
Naruto: Yeah…but you fail
RBG: Okay that's IT you DIE now!! *twists sword*
Naruto: A THOUSAND PAINFUL AGONIES OF DEATH AND BLOOD!!
Sasuke: Oh crud…should I save him? Should I laugh? Should I do a tribal rain dance? I can't decide….so I'm just going to stand here and gawk…*gawks*
Naruto: PAIN AND AGONY…..AND PAIN!!
Lee: I will save you! *kicks ass*
Sasuke:….i want to know where he came from…and whose ass he's kicking
Naruto: He just generally kicks it
Lee: It is a hidden secret, you cannot know…or ever! Where's Gai-sensei? *Stares at Sasuke*
Sasuke:*twitch* THE EYEBROWS!! I CANT TAKE IT!! *runs off screaming like a girl*
Lee: Heh heh heh, I rock…like my name! Anyway, So now I've owned that Samurai guy-
RBG: I'm a ninja!
Lee:….but ninja's don't use swords
RBG: Not this again…fucking ninjas - THEY SHOULD….*stalks away mumbling*
Naruto:….weird guy…anyway, thanks for saving me (even though I didn't need it-god those eyebrows are piercing MY SOUL)
Lee: Well that's not a problem, I'm going now to find Gai-sensei and beseech my love to him. *jumps away*
Naruto:….*shudders* Where did Sasuke go?
**Elsewhere**
Sasuke: *rocking back and forth in a corner*...eyebrows…like leeches…like fucking hairy leeches….*shudder*
**Back to Naruto**
Naruto:…I have a hole in me….*pokes wound*….ow…okay I think I'd better go back to the village…better be crying like a sissy too *clears throat*….WAAAAAAHHH I HAVE A CUT!! *running down the path to the village*
Kiba: *falls out of tree in front of him*….ow….STUPID SQURREL!! I DON'T LOVE YOU, I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU!!
Squirrel:…*tear*
**Somewhere…else**
Sasuke: *rocking back and forth in a corner*...eyebrows…like leeches…like fucking hairy leeches….*shudder*
**Back to Naruto**
Naruto:…I have a hole in me….*pokes wound*….ow…okay I think I'd better go back to the village…better be crying like a sissy too *clears throat*….WAAAAAAHHH I HAVE A CUT!! *running down the path to the village*
Kiba: *falls out of tree in front of him*….ow….STUPID SQURREL!! I DON'T LOVE YOU, I DON'T EVEN LIKE YOU!!
Squirrel:…*tear*
**Somewhere…else**
Lee: *zing* My girlfriend! I feel that she is unhappy! What could be upsetting her…I MUST GO BACK! Sorry Gai-sensei, my love parade must be delayed!
Gai:…it's okay…go back to your GIRLFRIEND *starts crying*
**Yo! It's Na-ru-to!**
Gai:…it's okay…go back to your GIRLFRIEND *starts crying*
**Yo! It's Na-ru-to!**
Kiba: Anyway…ahem! Muahaha! You have stumbled into my trap!
Naruto:…you fell out of a tree
Kiba:…yeah…well THAT was the first stage of my plan!
Naruto: The fuck it was! That squirrel bit you!
Kiba: oh shut up you spiky-haired, monkey-faced…um….freak!
Naruto: Oh you're one to talk! You furry-hooded, dog-loving…um…bum!
Kiba: *gasp* You heathen! Now you shall have to pay the price! The ultimate pr-
Akamaru: Rarf! (Price!)
Kiba: No - bad puppy! I get to say the cool stuff, you can only talk if I direct a question at you.
Akamaru:…rawreroo….(I'm sorry…)
Naruto:…riiiight whatever, so what do you want?
Kiba: Buh? Oh yeah that's right! Now you will pay the ultimate price!
Naruto: Oh yeah? So what is it?
Kiba: I'm going to KILL you!
Naruto: Been there, done that
Kiba:…okay I'm going to EAT you!
Naruto: That's a knew one, prey, continue.
Kiba: Yeah. Me `n Akamaru are gunna bite you! That's right! I'm gunna bite you too! In the ASS!
Naruto: NOT THE ASS!!
Kiba: oh yeah! That's right! *folds arms smiling smugly (with his eyes closed, yup, a smart one isn't he?), while in his mind thinking* (do you even realise what you're saying? Do you WANT to bite his ass? You do don't you? You fag-ish little weirdo whose best friend is a dog! You suck!) DAMMIT SHUT UP!!
Naruto: *swish…dust settling*
Kiba:…..shit.…he ran away….well-THANK YOU Akamaru! Now what are we gonna have for dinner?!
Akamaru: Rararwarrear!? (What the fuck did I do?!)
Naruto:…you fell out of a tree
Kiba:…yeah…well THAT was the first stage of my plan!
Naruto: The fuck it was! That squirrel bit you!
Kiba: oh shut up you spiky-haired, monkey-faced…um….freak!
Naruto: Oh you're one to talk! You furry-hooded, dog-loving…um…bum!
Kiba: *gasp* You heathen! Now you shall have to pay the price! The ultimate pr-
Akamaru: Rarf! (Price!)
Kiba: No - bad puppy! I get to say the cool stuff, you can only talk if I direct a question at you.
Akamaru:…rawreroo….(I'm sorry…)
Naruto:…riiiight whatever, so what do you want?
Kiba: Buh? Oh yeah that's right! Now you will pay the ultimate price!
Naruto: Oh yeah? So what is it?
Kiba: I'm going to KILL you!
Naruto: Been there, done that
Kiba:…okay I'm going to EAT you!
Naruto: That's a knew one, prey, continue.
Kiba: Yeah. Me `n Akamaru are gunna bite you! That's right! I'm gunna bite you too! In the ASS!
Naruto: NOT THE ASS!!
Kiba: oh yeah! That's right! *folds arms smiling smugly (with his eyes closed, yup, a smart one isn't he?), while in his mind thinking* (do you even realise what you're saying? Do you WANT to bite his ass? You do don't you? You fag-ish little weirdo whose best friend is a dog! You suck!) DAMMIT SHUT UP!!
Naruto: *swish…dust settling*
Kiba:…..shit.…he ran away….well-THANK YOU Akamaru! Now what are we gonna have for dinner?!
Akamaru: Rararwarrear!? (What the fuck did I do?!)
**Back in normal-vile**
Naruto: phew…my ass is safe for now…
Kakashi: Yes…but HOW safe?
Naruto: GAHH!! *squeal* DON'T DO THAT! JESUS! YOU'RE LIKE A FUCKING PERVERT!
Kakashi: well…it was my dream to become one…but Jiraiya got one over on me. *Stalks out from behind tree* So what's up?
Naruto: Well; I'm trying to escape from a confused samurai, avoid Lee's fuzzy eyebrows, and keep my ass safe from Kiba. Oh, and look for Sasuke.
Kakashi: Yes…but HOW safe?
Naruto: GAHH!! *squeal* DON'T DO THAT! JESUS! YOU'RE LIKE A FUCKING PERVERT!
Kakashi: well…it was my dream to become one…but Jiraiya got one over on me. *Stalks out from behind tree* So what's up?
Naruto: Well; I'm trying to escape from a confused samurai, avoid Lee's fuzzy eyebrows, and keep my ass safe from Kiba. Oh, and look for Sasuke.
Kakashi: I see, you've had an interesting morning at least
Naruto:..it's the afternoon
Kakashi: I know
Naruto:….riiiight…so anyway, will you help me look for Sasuke?
Kakashi: Sure thing…where is he?
Naruto:…okay this is just flat out retardedness, there's no way you're kakashi! You must be someone in disguise! Take THIS imposter! *pokes with stick*
Kakashi:….ow…
Naruto:…oops… ;my bad *throws away stick* so why are you here anyway?
Kakashi: I got lost…yeah…
Naruto:…yah hah…lost eh…how long have you lived here?
Kakashi: most of my life, possibly all
Naruto: yup, and you get lost
Kakashi:…Kakashi has a bad memory, now lets find this Sasuke boy you speak of.
Kakashi: I know
Naruto:….riiiight…so anyway, will you help me look for Sasuke?
Kakashi: Sure thing…where is he?
Naruto:…okay this is just flat out retardedness, there's no way you're kakashi! You must be someone in disguise! Take THIS imposter! *pokes with stick*
Kakashi:….ow…
Naruto:…oops… ;my bad *throws away stick* so why are you here anyway?
Kakashi: I got lost…yeah…
Naruto:…yah hah…lost eh…how long have you lived here?
Kakashi: most of my life, possibly all
Naruto: yup, and you get lost
Kakashi:…Kakashi has a bad memory, now lets find this Sasuke boy you speak of.
Naruto: *sigh* Okay…*trudges along beside him*
Sasuke: Yo *hand goes up*
Naruto:…where did you come from?
Sasuke: Yo *hand goes up*
Naruto:…where did you come from?
Sasuke: EVERYWHERE!!
Naruto: *eyebrow*
Sasuke:….that tree over there *points*
Naruto: *eyebrow*
Sasuke:….that tree over there *points*
Naruto: I thought so…so where have you been all this time?
Lee: *jumps in* NUTMEG! WHERE ART THOU NUTMEG!?
Sasuke: ITS HAPPENING AGAIN!!! *runs away screaming*
Lee: it's strange how I have that effect on people. So anyway, has anyone seen nutmeg?
Naruto: and thar he goes….oh? Nutmeg? No…I think…
Lee: She's a squirrel
Naruto:….riiight…oh yeah! A squirrel was molesting Kiba ealier.
Lee: *jumps in* NUTMEG! WHERE ART THOU NUTMEG!?
Sasuke: ITS HAPPENING AGAIN!!! *runs away screaming*
Lee: it's strange how I have that effect on people. So anyway, has anyone seen nutmeg?
Naruto: and thar he goes….oh? Nutmeg? No…I think…
Lee: She's a squirrel
Naruto:….riiight…oh yeah! A squirrel was molesting Kiba ealier.
**Meanwhile in the land of ew**
Kiba: Mm-M! I didn't know squirrels could be so filling!
Akamaru: Rarar! (you said it!)
Sasuke: AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!! *running past*
Akamaru: Rarar! (you said it!)
Sasuke: AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEE!! *running past*
Kiba:….odd….
**Naruto a-go-go**
**Naruto a-go-go**
Naruto: well anyway, before I lose ALL of my blood, I'll be going ho-
Kiba: NOT SO FAST!
Naruto: oh goddamit- you just had your part!
Kiba: I do not care! I have come to…um…
Akamaru: Rarwara? (eat him?)
Kiba: What? No no, I'm full now. I'll just kill him for the fun of it!
Naruto: No chance! I'm going to use my new technique! BEEPING-NO-JUTSU!! *ping!*
Kiba: Beeping-no-jutsu….that's a *beep*ing retarded technique…wait what? What the *beep* happened there?! *beep* There it is again!! WHAT THE *beep*ING *beep* IS *beep*ING GOING ON!?
Naruto: Heh heh, it wont be long before he goes crazy…I love this job
(Sasuke: *zing* Someone just stole my thing!)
Naruto: oh goddamit- you just had your part!
Kiba: I do not care! I have come to…um…
Akamaru: Rarwara? (eat him?)
Kiba: What? No no, I'm full now. I'll just kill him for the fun of it!
Naruto: No chance! I'm going to use my new technique! BEEPING-NO-JUTSU!! *ping!*
Kiba: Beeping-no-jutsu….that's a *beep*ing retarded technique…wait what? What the *beep* happened there?! *beep* There it is again!! WHAT THE *beep*ING *beep* IS *beep*ING GOING ON!?
Naruto: Heh heh, it wont be long before he goes crazy…I love this job
(Sasuke: *zing* Someone just stole my thing!)
Kiba: ITS *beep*ING STOPPING ME FROM SWEARING!!
Kiba's mother: You shouldn't be swearing anyway!
Kiba: Sorry mother….
Naruto: Okay, my work is done…now, if someone isn't going to carry me to the village I'm gunna go die over here in the shade
Kakashi: I would…but I can't remember where it is….*wanders away into bushes*
Lee: I WILL SAVE YOU!
Naruto:…oh god…please don't
Lee: I will carry you in my arms to the hospital! Then I will hold your hand until-
Naruto: DEAD!
Lee:…what?
Naruto: I'm DEAD, stop talking and go away
Lee:….*walks away…..comes back* I MUST BURY YOU!
Naruto: Oh for *beep*s sake…
Kiba's mother: You shouldn't be swearing anyway!
Kiba: Sorry mother….
Naruto: Okay, my work is done…now, if someone isn't going to carry me to the village I'm gunna go die over here in the shade
Kakashi: I would…but I can't remember where it is….*wanders away into bushes*
Lee: I WILL SAVE YOU!
Naruto:…oh god…please don't
Lee: I will carry you in my arms to the hospital! Then I will hold your hand until-
Naruto: DEAD!
Lee:…what?
Naruto: I'm DEAD, stop talking and go away
Lee:….*walks away…..comes back* I MUST BURY YOU!
Naruto: Oh for *beep*s sake…