Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Naruto & the Idiot Brigade ❯ Haku's room ( Chapter 15 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Midori was sitting in Sasuke's living room with Haku, Naruto, Sakura, Tenten, Neji, Sasuke, and Dolly. If you're wondering where Gaara and Roxn went, they are probably at the movies watching a movie. They were studying for the French test they were going to take for school on Second Language Learner class. Otherwise known as SLL.

Dolly was showing off her amazing French skills. "Now, say it with me. Bon-jure!"

"Bor-ing..." Everyone responded lazily. It was very boring and Dolly was making it worse by showing of her 'mad' French skills.

"Why can't you say it! It's so simple! the b-o-n makes the 'bon' sound, and the j-u-r makes the 'jur' sound and the e in 'bonjure' is always silent!" Dolly said feeling very mortified. "It's as easy as that! Why can't you understand?"

"Maybe it's because we're stupid?" Naruto yawned. "Maybe that's why we're known as The Idiot Brigade!"

"Just say it! Bon-jure!" Dolly groaned trying one more time to teach her friends French. "Why can't you say it? Can't you people talk like the people from France and speak French?"

"Bitch, hear me out first," Midori was fed up with Dolly's lectures. "Why can't the people from France speak English? Can't they just say 'Hello'?"

"Yeah!" Haku said backing up Midori. "The h-e-l-l makes the 'hell' sound!"

Midori walked next to Haku and added. "And the o makes the 'o' sound! It's as simple as that!"

"Hey guys!" Itachi walked in. "Are you all studying French?"

"Ummm..." Sasuke paused. "You could say that."

"I hate the French language!" Itachi shuddered. "But I love the French girls and the way they kiss!" He smirked.

"Wait!" Dolly made Itachi come to a halt. "French people talk AND kiss different too?!"

"yup!" Itachi smirked and pushed back his hair with his hand.

"How?" Naruto was eager to know and he moved closer to Itachi.

"Let me put it this way, my friend," Itachi put a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "The tongue ain't silent!" And with that comment he walked up the Uchiha mansion stairs.

"AHHHHH!!!" The members of the Idiot Brigade covered their ears and ran around screaming like crazy... at least not the girls. The boys, however, acted immature and ran across the living room screaming.

"Will you guys stop it!" Sakura rolled her eyes and flipped her hair aside out of irritation. "You are all so annoying!"
"Screw you!" Naruto stopped running and turned to Sakura. "We can stop whenever we want!"

"oh, I'm just gonna stop now..." Sasuke walked back to the couch and almost immediently Naruto followed. "Oh yeah, yeah, me too..."

"Do you guys remember the 'special day' on Friday?" Haku wiggled his eyebrows.

"Of course!" Neji scoffed and flipped his hair.

"Great!" Haku grinned widely and opened his text book.

"You don't know what the special day on Friday is, Do you?" Dolly said wisely to Neji.

"not a clue..." Neji shook his head and whispered back to her.

"Idiot!" Midori joined in on the conversation. "We're going to Haku's house on Friday!" Midori smacked Neji on the head with her bag and rolled her eyes.

"I have to go home now." Midori stood up and grabbed her bag and other things and headed for the door. "My mom says I have to be home at seven, so I'll see you guys tomorrow."

"Yeah. Me to." Sakura got up. "I have to eat dinner." She opened the door and walked home with Midori.

RIIING

"oh!" Haku searched through his bag. "It's my phone!" He found his phone and answered it. "Hello? yes. yes mother! allright! Please don't be angry at me! Okay. Yes mother! In a few minutes. I hate-LOVE... you too... bye." Haku hanged up. "Dammit!"

"What?" Sasuke looked up. "You gotta go potty?" Sasuke seemed to be serious about this.

"no." Haku groaned. "My evil cow of a mother said I have to go home!" he said throwing his stuff (and make-up) in his bag and he put on his shoes and carried his bag and opened the door and walked out and slammed it.

A few minutes passed and a car horn honked outside. "That's for me!" Dolly grinned widely. "My mom's picking me up, anyone up for a free ride back home?" she offered.

"Me!" Tenten and Neji said in unity and they got thier things and ran into the car.

"Bye Sasuke!" The three middle school students left inside the car and on their way home.

"So let me remind you guys one more time," Dolly began once they were all inside the car. "How do you say 'frog' in french?"

"Will you shut up!" Tenten rolled her eyes. "Can't the French people say 'frog' like any other normal person?"

"Yeah!" Neji took sides against Dolly. "In the english dub, the F-R-O makes the 'fro' sound."

"And the G make the 'guh' sound." Tenten added and leaned foward pointing a finger at Dolly. "Thus, resulting in the word frog." Tenten and Neji said in unity.

"Hmphf!" Dolly huffed. "Never mind already!" She crossed her arms and leaned back hard on her seat causing Neji and Tenten (who were sitting in the back) to jump slightly.

"Geez!" Tenten put on a smug look. "Don't start to get all bitchy on us!" and with that she closed her eyes and fell asleep.

---next morning---

"Tenten... Tenten!" Dolly whispered in Tenten's ear. "Wake up!"

"huh what?" Tenten woke up and looked around. "This isn't my room!" oh... so she finally notices. "Where am I?" She turned to Dolly.

"Your in my house." Dolly rolled her eyes. "You fell asleep and my mom told me not to wake you up so she called your mom and said that you were sleeping over at my house."

"What?!" Tenten had a shocked expression on her face and she looked around for a bit. "I don't have my school uniform with me! What am I going to wear?"
"Here." Dolly handed Tenten a school uniform. "It's mines. I got a medium just in case I out grow my small sized uniform."

"Thanks." Tenten looked at the uniform in her lap. "mmm..." Tenten sniffed the air with her nose. "I smell something good, Is your mom cooking something?"

"yup." Dolly responded. "So get dressed and let's go downstairs to eat!" Dolly put on her socks and shoes. Tenten scanned Dolly and realized that she was already in her school uniform and Tenten got into her own school uniform and when she was done she met Dolly downstairs in the kitchen.

"Hey!" Dolly grinned and shoved a poptart in her face. "Eat. We're going to go to school now. Come on!" Dolly opened the door for Tenten. "Let's go!"
"Thanks for the breakfast, Dolly!" Tenten thanked her and walked outside heading for school with Dolly.

"Don't mention it!" Dolly shrugged and swung her bag over her shoulders and caught up with Tenten.

At school, Naruto and the rest of the gang were making another scene yet again. Naruto pushed a small, wooden stool in the center of school campus where mostly everyone could see him. "Hello ladies and the other guys!" Naruto spoke into a microphone and waved his hand around like crazy. "I am going to annouce America's number ones!" Naruto explained. "If I announce your name, come up to the stage or er- stool and claim your trophy!" He held up small trophys he got from thin air and showed them around. "Okay then, Let's get started!" He began.

Everyone seemed to be intrested in this 'thing' this time. They seemed quite amused. "What has the Idiot Brigade got in store for us this time?" A student thought aloud to his friends. Just then Dolly and Tenten walked in. "Hey!" They waved a hand at Midori and the others. It looks like The Idiot Brigade is going to have fun with this scheme and mostly everyone in the Idiot Brigade was going to participate.

"Okay people!" Naruto spoke into the mic to gain everyone's attention once more. "America's number one gay is!" There was a dramatic pause among the students. Naruto grinned. "Haku Matsumoto!"

Haku was overjoyed. "Yes!!!" He ran to the stage er-stool and claimed his trophy and spoke into the mic. "Being gay for all these years has finally payed off!" He wiped a tear from his eye.

"Okay, Drama Queen!" Naruto rolled his eyes and snatched the microphone from Haku and pushed him off the stage-er stool and continued with the announcements. "America's number one Idiot is!" Everyone held thier breath for a moment. It's obvious who the number one idiot is!

"Naruto Uzumaki!" Naruto clapped his hands. "Come up here Naruto! Oh my gosh! That's me!" Naruto gasped and snatched the trophy from his other hand. "Gimme that! Thank you!" He blew kisses towards everyone.

"Get on with it already!" A anonymous student shouted.

"Allright!" Naruto pushed back his hair hastily. "America's number one beautiful is!" There was a frightning silence. All the tension in the air was building up higher and higher. The thumping in thier hearts acted like a drumroll.

"Nobody!" Naruto grinned widely. "Cause beautiful people have breast implants, face lifts, or some other medical condition!"

Everyone groaned but Roxn of the famous Idiot Brigade had something to say about that. "Hello?" Roxn huffed and pointed at Tsunade. "Breast implants!" she pointed at Tsunade's breasts because they were huge!

Tsunade looked down at her breasts and looked at Roxn. "Hey!" She looked offended.

Midori stood up and rolled her eyes. "Hello?" She pointed at Orochimaru. "Face lift!" she she pointed at Orochimaru's face. He had really tight skin! It looked as if he had a dozen face lifts!

Orochimaru touched his face and rubbed his bony cheeks. "Hey!" He hissed and glared at Midori.

Dolly grinned. "Hello?" She pointed at Jiraiya. "Other medical condition!" She just pointed at Jiraiya because he was a complete idiot! It seemed as if he had to take medication which makes it a medical condition.

"Heh!" Jiraiya laughed and then came to a halt. "Hey!" he put his hands on his hips and his grin twisted into a frown.

Sasuke huffed. "Hello? HELLO? Dammit!" Sasuke closed his flip phone. "Another dropped call!"

Everyone laughed thier asses off! When it's boring, everyone knows that the Idiot Brigade will make things a lot more fun.

"Hey Haku!" Sasuke took something out of his bag. "I think you forgot your pantyhose at my house yesterday." he handed Haku a pantyhose.

"Wait a minute!" Midori made Sasuke come to a halt. "Why would Haku take off his pantyhose at your house in the first place?"

"uhh..." Sasuke held his breath until...

"I have a question!" Naruto raised his hand.

"What is it, Naruto?" Sasuke groaned. "I swear, if it's a stupid question i'm gonna-"

"What's a pantyhose?" Sasuke was interrupted by Naruto's question.

"Idiot!" Sasuke snorted but in the inside, we ALL know that Sasuke was relieved that Naruto asked that stupid question. "pantyhoses are panties that are shaped like hoes!" Sasuke made a woman's body shape in the air with his hand. (A/N: I don't mean to spell hose I meant to spell HOES! HOES people, HOES! As in whores and bitches and hookers and stuff. HOES!)

"You both are idiots!" Sakura stared awkwardly at Sasuke and Naruto. "Pantyhoses are used by woman... and possibly Haku," Sakura added when she saw the look of disappointment on Haku's face and continued talking "to protect thier legs."
"You guys!" Haku ran to the Idiot Brigade screaming joyfully and waving his hands in the air like crazy. "I have the biggest, super, ultimate, tremendous, gigantic news ever!" Haku was very excited about this... and his chest seemed to show it too.

"What? What?" They all gathered around Haku. Did Haku get a boyfriend? Having Haku spend time with his boyfriend could do the Idiot Brigade wonders.

"I..." Haku began. "HAVE BREAST IMPLANTS!" Haku was waiting for everyone to smile and give Haku a pat of approval on the back. But instead there was a frightning silence among the green hills.

"um... did you guys hear me?" Haku had a look of concern on his face and he looked at his friends with a strange expression on his face.

"..." The Idiot Brigade merely nodded thier heads completely frozen with shock and continued staring off into space.

"um... you guys? Are you guys all right? If you don't like the idea of me having breast implants I can always ask to have them removed." Haku explained.

"No. It's not that." Midori was the first to speak. "It just... It just that... I mean, woah... Haku," She turned to Haku with a look of worry on her face. "It's far too fast! take it steady first. Then when you know you're ready, I mean REALLY ready, you get yourself some boobs." Midori patted Haku on the back. "You don't need to remove your breasts. But I think it's going to take us some time to get used to you."

"I only got A cup boobs though." Haku looked down at his 'boobs'.

Everyone smiled. "Yes!!!" They seemed to be excited about this.

"Haku!" Dolly patted his back. "Your boobs won't be that noticable so nothing will change about you!"

"Yay!" Haku cheered. "High five!" Haku lifted a hand in the air and turned to Midori for a high five.

Midori shook her head and mouthed out a 'nah'. Then Haku turned to Sasuke. But again, Haku was rejected. Haku sighed and turned to Neji then Dolly and Tenten. But Haku was turned down... again. Then he turned hopefully towards Sakura But before he could fully turn to Sakura, Sakura backed away behind Naruto. Haku rolled his eyes and turned to Gaara. But Gaara merely crossed his arms and stared at Haku's hand. Haku turned to Roxn with high hopes but as we all know it, Haku was rejected yet again. "Come on, Roxn!" Haku didn't give up. "You're leaving me hangin'!" He still kept his hand in the air waiting for someone to high five it.

"Okay!" Naruto sighed happily and gave Haku a big hug... for quite a long time... Then Naruto stopped and looked at Haku still holding his arms. "Haku! Did you know you have soft skin?"

There was a frightning silence and Haku just froze in mid-air.
"Naruto, I think you should just leave Haku alone... for a bit." Midori pulled Naruto away from Haku.

"So anyways..." Haku snapped out of his 'frozen' stage. "Didn't you guys hear? Rumor has it that a bunch of idiots got the principal so drunk that they got her to cancel school for the rest of the week!"

"Haku!" Roxn rolled her eyes. "Those 'bunch of idiots' were US!"

"Really?" Haku looked confused and cocked his head to a side.

"You should know!" Midori put her hands on her hips. "You were there!"

"Yeah but," Haku protested. "It makes a pretty good rumor dosen't it?"

"Yeah, true..." Everyone nodded thier heads in agreement.

"So what's your point?" Sakura put her hands on her hips.

"I was thinking..." Haku scratched his head slightly. "You know... If you guys wanted to come over to my house... let's say... today after school?"

"Yes!" Everyone crowded around Haku. Knowing Haku, he would probably have had a nice, clean house and a gay, girly room filled with posters of boy bands and guy models.

"Allright then!" Haku grinned and flipped his hair before he walked away.

---Walking to Haku's house---

The Idiot Brigade members were walking to Haku's house still wondering how Haku's house would look like.

Naruto rubbed his chin to help him think. "hmmm..." Naruto scratched his head trying to imagine Haku's home. "Aha!" Naruto snapped his fingers. So the idea lightbulb above Naruto's head does work! "Haku!" Naruto grinned sheepishly to the gay man with the 'perfect hair' "Do you have furniture with the dalmation designs on them?" Naruto went beyond with his thinking this time.

Haku twitched. "No, Naruto. I don't have dalmation furniture."

"Shoot!" Naruto snapped his fingers. Neji laughed and pointed at Naruto. "Heh heh! Naruto almost said the bad word!"

"Fuck you!" Naruto pushed Neji's hand away. "I didn't swear! You fuckin' bitch!"

"Hey!" Dolly smacked both of them. "We're almost at Haku's house so be quiet and behave yourselves!"

"We're here!" Haku opened the door to his house and with that Dolly ran inside with her hands in the air screaming. "WOO HOO!!!"

"Dolly!" Haku covered her mouth with his hand. "My step mom will hear you and she'll get bitchy on us!"

"Isn't your mom always bitchy?" Midori sat down on the couch.

"How would you know that?" Roxn pointed accusingly at Midori.

Midori shrugged and responded casually. "Haku's mom called my house and said she wanted to talk to Haku. She yelled in my ear and nearly deafened me! She was all 'Where the hell is Haku?! He's supposed to be here at seven thirty! It's seven thirty-ONE! He's late! I want to talk to him! Tell him I want his gay ass home NOW! NO! I want to tell him! give the phone to him, NOW!' And I was so scared I hanged up..." Midori shuddered.

"It's okay..." Haku patted Midori's back.

"Wow!" Neji gasped as he walked to the second floor. "It's almost as beautiful as Sasuke's house!"

"ALMOST!" Sasuke repeated for everyone to hear.

"Neji!" Haku half whispered half yelled. "get down here, now!"

"okay..." Neji took one look at the second floor and started down the stair when... "AHH!" Neji tripped on his own foot and stumbled clumsily down the stairs.

"Oh my god!" Haku ran to him and gasped. Everyone gathered around the man with the white eyes trying to see if he was seriously hurt.

"What happened?" Chouji suddenly appeared from nowhere.

"Neji fell!" Sasuke exclaimed still staring at Neji.

"AHHH!" Neji grasped his knee. "My knee cap!"
"Oh my God!" Haku paniked and looked at Chouji then back at Neji and then turned to Chouji again. "Chouji! Get down! We need to get Neji on a table!"

"I'm not fat!" Chouji detested.

"I didn't say you were fat! You FATTY!" Haku huffed.

"Being fat is not a crime!" Chouji gritted his teeth.
"I told you!" Haku put his hands on his hips. "I didn't call you fat! you fat ass!

"I'm NOT fat!" Chouji growled and shook his stomach in front of Haku's face. "heh!" Chouji snorted Haku's suffering pleasured Chouji.

Haku tried desperately to push Chouji away but, failed miserably. "AHHH!" He shrieked. "Help! I'm trapped!"

"Oh no!" Gaara gasped and put a hand over his mouth. "Haku's stuck in between the layers of fat! It'll be impossible to get him out! He's stuck in there for good!" Gaara shook his head.

"Gaara!" Haku's echo reached out to the Idiot Brigade from the inside of Chouji's fat. "I swear! If I make it out here alive I'm gonna-"

"Haku!" Midori interrupted him and she put her ear on Chouji's stomach. "Can you hear me?"

"Yeah! Just a little bit!" Haku shouted back. "Are you getting me out?" he asked with a tint of relief in his voice.

"Of course, Haku! We would never ever forget you!" Midori grinned and she tapped on Chouji's stomach at different places. "Can you feel this, Haku?" She shouted as she tapped Chouji's southern section of Chouji's stomach.

"Nope!" Haku replied.

"How bout this?" Roxn kicked Chouji from the eastern section. When she kicked Chouji, long hair flew out from the western part of Chouji's stomach then a head. "ahhh..." Haku gasped for air. "I can finally breath!" Haku grinnned and was about to throw his arms in the air when he found out that his head was the only thing free from Chouji's 'cave' "I'm only a head out from Chouji's fat!" Haku shrieked then groaned. "This is so humiliating! I don't even know how he got here! He obviously can't fit through the door!"

"Hey!" Chouji looked down on Haku. "You know that I can just suck you back in my stomach by will, right?" Chouji snorted.

"Shut the hell up, Chouji!" Tenten smacked him across the stomach. Chouji seemed displeased. "Hey!" He frowned. "Belly's have feelings too, you know!"

"Just shut up!" Sakura attempted to pull Haku out by tugging on Haku's hair. "Neji, Gaara, Naruto and I will have to pull you out on this end," Sakura looked at the girls and Sasuke. " And Since Sasuke, Midori, Tenten, Dolly, and Roxn are all on the soccer team, they will have to kick on the other side so it make it easier for us to pull you out, Haku!" Sakura hardened her grip on Haku's hair. "Ready you guys?" Sakura asked. And everyone got prepared Midori, Sasuke, Tenten, Roxn, and Dolly got ready for thier biggest kicks and Sakura, Naruto, Neji and Gaara held onto Haku's head.
+
"KICK and PULL!" Haku winced of the pain and gritted his teeth and closed his eyes shut. "AHHHH!" He let out a shrill scream. "It huuuuuuuurts, Dammit!" Haku wimpered. Just then footsteps we're heard. "Hey!" Haku's evil cow of a step mother came down the stairs. "What the hell is going on?"

"oh no!" Everyone whispered. and huddled in the corner leaving Chouji in the middle of the living room and Haku in the middle of Chouji's stomach. "Haku!" his step mom yelled with frustration and anger. "Tell your friends to shut up!" and with that she stormed back to her room doing God knows what.

"You guys!" Haku whispered frightfully. "Shut up! My bitchy step mom's gonna get mad!"

Sasuke walked to Chouji's stomach and kicked it and out plopped Haku. "There. I got you out so what do we do now?"

"Allright Chouji, Go home." Haku fixed his hair and pointed the way out. "Aww..." Chouji muttered.

"So where do we go now?" Roxn asked still frightened by Haku's step mom. It seems that Haku's step mom really is a total bitch.

Haku made wierd gestures with his hands and pointed to the stairs. "Go up to my room!" he whispered.

Everyone ran up the stairs quietly to Haku's room and they all stopped at Haku's door. The sign on Haku's door read: DO NOT ENTER! OR ELSE!!!!!!!. "um..." Naruto pointed at the sign. "What do we do now?" he looked at Midori.

Midori shrugged. "How should I know! I don't live here! This isn't my room." Midori exclaimed. Footsteps were heard coming from the hall.

"oh no!" Everyone mouthed out silently. The Idiot Brigade held eachother to protect themselves from 'It'. They were all huddled in a small ball of shivers and fear.

The footsteps were coming closer and closer until... "AHHHHHHH!!!" Sakura, Sasuke, Gaara, Roxn, Tenten, Midori, Dolly and Neji screamed in a whisper.

Haku spooked by thier screams jumped back and screamed too. "AHHHH!" He screamed in a whisper.

Naruto looked around curiously at the idiots that surrounded him. After all, Naruto was all cuddled up in the middle of the ball. He looked from face to face and finally at Haku. "Ahhhhhh!" Naruto joined in on the screaming except he didn't whisper. Everyone's screaming died down after Naruto screamed. Soon Naruto was the only one left screaming.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Naruto continued screaming. "ahhhhhh..." Naruto ran out of breath and started to pant heavily. "God! Why didn't you guys stop me?" Naruto looked up. His face was completely flushed.

Sasuke snorted. "You could've stopped yourself!" He crossed his arms.

"No. I don't think I can..." Naruto shook his head and got up. Sasuke shook his head. "Yes I think you can!"
Naruto shook his head. "Yes, I don't think I can."

Sasuke cocked a brow. "How is that even supposed to make sense?"

Naruto shrugged and replied casually. "Honestly, I don't know. Heck! I don't even think!"

"Hello?" Haku butted in. "Do you guys remember that you're supposed to be in my room-"

"HEY!" Haku's step mom stormed to Haku. "I'm going grocery shopping! Do you want anything?"

Haku thought about it for a minute "uh. Well yeah actually-"

"What did you say?" Haku's mother cracked her knuckles.

"uh... I mean I don't want anything!" Haku squeaked frightfully.

"Good." Haku's step mom grinned a wicked evil grin and with that she walked down the stairs. The idiot brigade all waited for signs that Haku's step mom has gone to the store. They heard the door open then shut. They heard the sound of high heels tapping on the pavement and then they heard a car drove away.

"Phew!" Haku wiped the sweat of his forehead. "That was close! I thought mother was going to whack me with the broom again!"

"This is physical abuse!" Midori was concerned. "Let's report her to the police!"

"NO!" Haku shouted. "She'll whack me with the vacume if I do that!"

"She can't, idiot! she'll be in jail!" Roxn rolled her eyes.

"No, no. Haku's right." Midori rubbed her chin. "The vacume can do much more damage to the human ass. It can suck you up." Midori exclaimed. "Maybe we should poison her into having some sort of disease!"

"No..." Haku shook is head. "What shall we do?" he scratched his head.

"We could always... kill her. In her sleep..." Gaara spoke up.

"You're not planning on murder are you?" Naruto took a step away from Gaara.

"Of course not!" Gaara laughed nervously. "Now I have to throw away my knife!" Gaara muttered to himself and left his knife on the table near Haku's room.

"Okay everyone!" Haku turned the knob. "Don't scream!"

Everyone nodded an excited 'yes' and walked into Haku's room. "Oh my God!" Everyone whispered and looked around in awe. "Wow!" Dolly looked at the huge mirror on the wall. "It's everything in a gay guy's room I've always imagined!" She touched the shelf and sat on the bean bag chair. Haku opened his mini 'personal' refridgerator, took a drink, grabbed the remote and layed down on his bed. "Oh. and the last one who comes in, could you please close the door?" Haku asked and took a sip from his bottle.

Sasuke was the last to come into Haku's room. "Wow!" Sasuke looked around curiously and realized that he was the last to come in so he leaned on the backside of the door and closed it with his back. "This is so-AHHHH!!!" Sasuke turned around and saw something in front of him. He was so surprised that he jumped back and fell on Neji. "Hey!" Neji pushed Sasuke off and rubbed his head. "What's the big ideAHHH!" Neji saw what Sasuke was afraid of and screamed as well.

"Why are you guys screaming?" Midori rolled her eyes at the Uchiha and the Hyuuga then looked up at the back of Haku's door. "um... Haku?" Midori asked still staring at the door.

"Yup?" Haku replied taking abother sip from his bottle and flipped the channel with his remote trying to find something interesting. "What is it?"
"um..." Midori didn't know how to explain it. "Is that... is that a Brad Pitt poster... on the back of your door?" Midori pointed at the life-size poster of Brad Pitt with his shirt off posing for the people looking at him.

"Yup." Haku replied casually and took gulped down the liquid from the bottle.

"My gosh!" Sakura gasped as she saw what was drawing everyone's attention. "Is that Brad-"

"yeah..." Naruto answered Sakura.

"Okay... so I'm just gonna explore the balcony..." Tenten walked to the lower part of Haku's room. He has three steps of stairs in his room! It must be great to be Haku... "You have a nice view of the city!" Tenten sighed at the sight of the busy streets. "I wonder what else is in his room..." Tenten thought aloud and looked at his closet. "Is this your closet?"

Haku nodded lazily as Tenten opened the doors of the closet. "And your closet is filled with-" Tenten stopped when she saw what was in Haku's closet. "BRAS AND DRESSES?!"

"WHAT?!" Everyone spun thier head to Tenten's direction and they all gathered at Haku's closet. Tenten opened the door wider so everyone could see. "So it IS true!" Naruto pointed at Haku accusingly. "You really are a cross dresser!"

Haku mumbled something about Gackt and continued to sleep. Wow! Haku must really be tired. (A/N: Gackt is some famous singer in Japan. Roxn claims to have met him at Ala's and got his autograph. She's LYING! Nah! just playing! but Gackt is a singer at Japan...)

"He... he's sleeping..." Gaara blinked and turned to Midori for instructions. Midori turned back to the closet and shrugged. "I guess... we explore!" she walked into Haku's HUGE closet. She dug deep in through Haku's clothes and bras. "wow.... it's deep..." Midori had trouble moving the clothes. The rest of the Idiot Brigade had to help her. They were far from Haku's bedroom now. They happened to be seventeen meters away from Haku's bed to be exact. Haku has such a big closet! "Hey..." Neji felt something under his foot and picked it up. "What's this?" Hey lifted it for everyone to see. "Is this... A COCONUT BRA?!" Neji put on a disgusted face and pretended to barf. "Ew!" he dropped it.

"Hey you guys!" Naruto called out to them. "I think I found... something!" He tapped againts what seemed to be a wall. "It sounds like a door..." he tapped again. The Idiot Brigade joined him. "Feel for the knob!" Roxn was excited from all the adventure.

Naruto felt for the knob and when he finally felt it, he turned the knob and the door quickly opened reaveling... "GACKT?!" Everyone was extremely shocked; Roxn especially. "My dears!" Gackt looked up. He was chained to the wall wearing only a lacy thong. "I-is... is Haku there?" Gackt sounded frightened while he tried as hard as he could to see if Haku was there.

"No. He's sleeping in his room." Sasuke pointed at Haku's bedroom. Sasuke rubbed his chin and smirked at the younger man beside Gackt. "Your friend's kinda hot too..." Sasuke eyed the guy beside Gackt.

Gackt had a puzzled look and looked to his right. "Do you mean Jae Joong?" he asked Sasuke. (A/N: Jae Joong is a Korean singer...)

"uh huh..." Sasuke walked up to Jae Joong and lifted a hand. "My name's Sasuke, what's yours?" he waited for Jae Joong to shake his hand. Jae Joong cocked a brow. 'Didn't Gackt tell you my name already?' he thought. Jae Joong just stared at Sasuke's hand. "um..." Jae Joong said slowly. "I would shake your hand... but, as you can see, My hands and feet are chained to the wall." he exclaimed.

Sasuke scratched his head and then grinned widely. "Okay then! If you insist!" He grinned and hugged Jae Joong.

"um..." Jae Joong said awkwardly and looked at Sasuke as if he were some sort of idiot. "Why are you hugging me?"

Sasuke grinned sheepishly. "You said that you can't shake my hand. So I thought you wanted me to hug you!"

Jae Joong was confused and sighed. Yun Ho was outraged. "Hey!" he yelled at Sasuke. "Leave Jae Joong alone! Only I can hold him like that!" he gritted his teeth. (A/N: Yun Ho is also a Korean singer.)

YunHo snapped his head towards Jae Joong. "Jae Joong! What is the meaning of this?!" he seemed pissed.

Jae Joong was frightened by YunHo's tone. "I uh, This isn't what it looks like! HE came to ME first!" Jae Joong tried to explain.

"no, no." YunHo turned away. "It's too late. Game over for you, man! game over!"

"Hey now, guys. we don't want to have another 'BF' again, now do we?" Yamapi tried to settle this in the most gentle way as possible.(A/N: BF is Bitch Fit.) "We all love eachother, right?" Yamapi grinned.

YunHo couldn't help but smile and looked back at Jae Joong. "I'm sorry for being so bitchy and mean..."

"I'm sorry too..." Jae Joong apologized and smiled widely at YunHo. Yamapi, who was so touched by the scene of the two Korean boys making up, cheered. "AIR HUG!" he grinned widely. Yamapi, Gackt, Jae Joong, and YunHo gave eachother little air hugs with their hands.

Naruto seemed to be staring at a top corner on the wall. He was staring at the same spot for quite some time now. Gaara was the first to notice. "Naruto! What are you looking at?" Gaara asked trying to see what Naruto was seeing.

"There's a cool looking spider web on the wall!" Naruto pointed to the spot he was looking at. Gackt turned his head to where Naruto pointed. "That's an authentic spider web..." he said dryly. "Master Haku bought one at the store. He said it gave this chamber a 'chamber' look." he rolled his eyes. Roxn noticed Gackt refer Haku as 'Master Haku' and her eyes widened. "Why'd did you say 'Master' Haku?" she pointed an accusing finger at him

Gackt was about to answer but footsteps were heard coming to the chamber. "Quick!" Dolly signaled for them to hide. "hide!'
The door opened and in came... Haku?! "oh no!" Jae Joong whimpered. "heheh!" Haku laughed. "I brought you guys a new sex mate!" Haku pulled a guy in. "Everyone, meet Hyde!" He grinned evily.

Gackt looked up. "Hyde?! Is that you my dear? Master Haku's gotten to you too!?" he looked shocked. A tear fell from Hyde's eye. "He just popped up out of nowhere while I was taking my bubble bath! Then he dragged me all the way here!" he cried. Gackt seemed to understand. "Don't worry my dear. We've all been throught that..." Gackt, Jae Joong, YunHo, and Yamapi nodded in agreement.

Haku rolled his eyes and looked evily at Hyde. "Allright, now get up on that wall, bitch!" he pushed the poor, innocent singer to the wall and smacked his ass.

-

-

"AHHHHHHH!!!" Haku woke up and screamed. Midori jumped back in surprise and backed away from the screaming homosexual. "Why'd you scream?" She seemed worried. (A/N: For all you slow people, Haku fell asleep when Tenten looked in the closet and dreamed all of this thing up.)

Haku pointed a finger at his friends. "Why'd you guys search through my closet!" he asked angrily.

"We didn't..." Neji cocked a brow. "You invited us over. We came. You let us in your room. We saw a really disturbing poster of Brad Pitt behind your door. You fell asleep on your bed. We watched you sleep for the past twenty minutes. We got bored and watched TV." Neji explained.

"So wait..." Haku paused. "So... all this... was just a dream?" he looked up.

"What dream?" Dolly came closer to Haku. "Did you have a sex dream about Gaara again?"

"No!" Haku pouted. "I had a dream that you guys were having some sort of adventure inside my closet and there was this secret chamber filled with Gackt, Jae Joong, YunHo, and Yamapi." he rubbed his head. "It seemed so real too! I mean, When I smacked Hyde's ass, It felt so real!"

"Sorry Haku." Sasuke coughed. "I played with your hand while you were asleep."

Sakura rolled her eyes and scratched her head. "What if Gackt, Jae Joong, YunHo, and Yamapi WERE inside Haku's closet?"

"Let me check!" Naruto walked to the closet and opened it. "nope. It's just Gackt in here."

Haku stood up; shocked expression and everything. "Really?!" he ran to the closet. Haku eyed everything in his closet. After a few minutes he found out that Naruto was only kidding. "Hey!" Haku turned to Naruto angrily. Naruto laughed. "HAHA!"

Haku slapped Naruto's face. "That wasn't funny!" Haku turned away. Neji was busy digging in Haku's closet and pulled something from the floor. "Hey Haku!" Neji lifted it for everyone to see. "Why do you have a coconut bra?" he cocked a brow.

Haku lifted his head when he heard the word 'bra'. "I went to Hawaii for a vacation and there was a sale in the souvenir shop so I just HAD to buy it!" Haku exclaimed with a girly squeal.

There was a frightning silence among the ten Konohagakure students. Haku rolled his eyes. "It was either the coconut bras or the used aloha g-string." he added.

"oh..." Neji nodded his head but Naruto seemed to disagree. "I would've bought the g-string!"

"But it was used!" Haku exclaimed with a shudder. Naruto shook his head. "So what if it's used?"

"I don't like to buy used items!" Haku frowned. "It makes me feel... poor..." he whispered at the end.

"Have you ever worn them?" Sasuke asked as he lifted Haku's coconut bra. Haku waved him off with his hand. "That's beside the point!"

"What point? You and Naruto were argueing about an aloha g-string!" Roxn rolled her eyes. "There was never a point!" she rubbed her head as if she had a headache. Gaara rushed to her side and rubbed her back. "There's ALWAYS no point." he comforted her. (A/N: For some weird reason, I think Roxn hates me now... I don't think we're in good terms anymore.)

"Geez! You don't need to get all stressed out, Roxn! Don't be such a bitchy slut whore bitchyMcbitchbitch!" Naruto rolled his eyes and walked away. (A/N: If you read this, Roxn. It's because you piss me off a lot. But you don't seem to notice cause I just laugh it off when really, I just want to scream)

"Okay..." Roxn said slowly but Gaara hated it when someone called Roxn a bitch. "Ew Naruto!" Gaara pointed at Naruto's stomach. "You have a weird mark on your stomach!" Gaara put on a disgusted face. Naruto looked at his stomach and then looked up with much anger at Gaara. "So! Your one to talk! You're left butt cheek is bigger than your right!" he pointed at Gaara's ass.

Gaara looked at his ass and rubbed it with his hand. "It's that noticable?" Gaara frowned.

"Yeah!" Naruto responded with a smirk. "It's so noticable a blind man could see it miles away!" he made weird gestures with his hands.

"Can you all just shut up?" Haku huffed and walked to Neji. "Hi Neji..." Haku twirled his hair as if he were flirting with Neji. This caught Sasuke's attention. "Neji, do you wanna stay over tonight? Come on, It'll be fun!" he grinned.

Sasuke got in between them. "I think it's time for all of us to go home now." he suggested.

Tenten wailed. "B-b-but I wanted to see more of Haku's room!" she frowned.

"Well too bad sister!" Dolly pulled Tenten's arm to the door.

Everybody gathehered their bags and shoes and met by the door to say goodbye to Haku. "Bye Haku!" They waved their hands and went home. As for Sasuke...well... let's just say he's going to have an important talk with Neji some time soon.