Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Neji Over-Angsts Some More ❯ Angsty... Party? ( Chapter 5 )

Look up 'angst' on Google, and get an eBay ad saying 'great deals on everything angst'.

 

Angst for only $10?! :D

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Neji Over Angsts Some More

Ch5: Angsty... Party?

 

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"Gaara."

 

We turned our angsty tear filled eyes to the one and only sandy panda.

 

"Yo." He raised his hand in greeting.

 

Sasuke and I immediately flinched, thinking he would squish us with his sand attack. Then, we flinched again because we knew that first flinch had lowered our angsting status.

 

...Even so, Sasuke flinched more. HA HA!

 

After that, we stood there in silence. Not even an angsty silence, more like... a 'WTF?' silence. Sasuke and I looked at each other for a bit, and slowly, slooowly, backed away.

 

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Later; at Ichiraku's

 

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"This injustice cannot stand!" Sasuke slammed his fist down on the table, sending a shower of noodle bits and fish chunks onto his hair.

 

Yes, I know what you're thinking. Why is Neji, the King of Angst, at Ichiraku's with such an obviously inferior angst monger?

 

Because- hey! HEY! I know what you're thinking! I AM King of Angst!! Fie! Fie on you and your pie!!

 

...NOO!! Damn it! Just by rhyming that last sentence, I have lowered my angsting status by 24 points!!

 

I then bang my head on the table a few times, shouting out, "stupid! Stupid! I hate you!"

 

Okay... whew... now my angsting status has been raised back up 28 points.

 

...Heh heh...

 

Sasuke stares at me after my little episode, and he too starts banging his head on the table yelling, "stupid! Stupid! I hate you MORE!"

 

The bastard thinks he can also raise his angsting status, eh? I'll show you!

 

So, now Sasuke and I are BOTH banging our heads on the table and yelling things about self-hate and general not-good-feelings.

 

When my I lift my head to give it an extra hard slam on the table (an extra 3 points worth), I can see the owner of the Ichiraku freaking out and crying; freaking out because there are two kids half killing themselves in his restaurant (therefore raising his insurance rates 3 percent), and crying because of the sheer overload of angst in the room.

 

HAHA!! Fear the angst! Fear it in all of its... ANGSTINESS!!

 

But just then, we both heard a ruckus in the street.

 

Sasuke and I stopped mid-whack to go out and investigate the source of the disturbance.

 

Our angstified eyes narrowed immediately.

 

Gaara.

 

He was calmly walking down the street, and people bursting into tears at the mere sight of him. I also think the kid who came up to me before asking me to teach him to be angsty was begging at Gaara's feet now!

 

That bastard! He dares to come to our village and angst on OUR populace?!

 

Something must be done...

 

Something... something possibly involving... ANGST.

 

And all of a sudden, he speaks, "Hey guys, how's it going? You both ran off before I could-"

 

"NOOO!!" I yelled, interrupting him before he could finish his ever-so-angsty sentence, "this injustice will not, and cannot stand! I will fight it with every fiber of my angsty being! PH33R!" and yes, I even said 'ph33r' with the 3s in it. That makes it more threatening. Yes. It's true. Ask anybody.

 

I continued, "You... you stupid... SANDMAN!! You come here with your... your... fancy tattoo and your... your GOURD, and think you can just waltz around and angst like it's nobody's business, do you?!"

 

"I just... I just wanted to make frien-"

 

"YEAH, YOU WOULD KNOW!" I yelled.

 

We then all stood there looking awkwardly at each other for a few moments, trying to figure out exactly what that meant.

 

"...What?" Gaara finally said, 'WTF?'age vividly emoticized upon his emotionless face.

 

Sasuke then realized he had not said anything in the last few paragraphs, and said rather randomly, "well, I'm going to throw an angsty party, AND YOU'RE NOT INVITED!"

 

Sasuke then walked away, his angsteration done, and a smug look on his face.

 

Gaara and I then stood there for a while... being... angsty... and such (causing to random, less angstferior people to burst into tears as they walked by), until Sasuke came back, pointed at me, and said, "oh, yeah, Neji, you're invited too."

 

We then walked away, into the sunset, even though it was well into the night. But when you're angsty, there's ALWAYS a sunset for you to walk off into dramatically. Western music may or may not have been playing in the background.

 

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At Sasuke's House

 

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"Okay," said Sasuke, "who are we going to invite to our angsty party?"

 

"...Wait..." I said, "You're ACTUALLY going to throw an angsty party?"

 

I honestly thought it was just a ploy to get Gaara to leave.

 

...But then again, if Gaara wasn't invited... then that would make Gaara sad.... and sadness leads to angst... and angst leads to... DOOM.

 

Ha ha... you didn't think this out so well, did you, Sasuke...? You just blurted out the first Ramen MSG induced thing you thought of, didn't you? DIDN'T YOU!! ADMIT IT!! (Neji: 1000, Sasuke: 0)

 

And no, that `: 0)' thing is NOT a smiley face.

 

"Well, yeah," he said, as if it was his superior master plan all along, and as an angsty teenager, I should have known this.

 

I pretended I did.

 

"Oh, yeah... yeah, of course," I said, lying through my bright, straight, non-braced, yet supremely angsty teeth.

 

"So," continued Sasuke, "we should definitely invite Naruto."

 

"What?" I said, "why? He's happy. He wears orange for Kurt Cobain's sake. And orange is just... NOT angsty."

 

"Ah, but he's hurting on the INSIDE. And when you hurt on the inside and don't show it... that's.... seriously angsty."

 

"...Yeah, okay, I guess," I said nonchalantly, but I was secretly thinking, 'Nice going, Neji! Angst out in public! You should have just let it stir inside of you and then announce your angst at some appropriated time and then you would've been ten times as angsty! God! Sometimes I just want to smite you!'

 

Mentally, I smote myself.

 

I sat there trying to think of other angsty people while Sasuke wrote down, 'Naruto- angsty'

 

"I think... we should invite Kakashi..." Sasuke said.

 

"GASP?!" I gasped, "but he's an adult! With him around, we may possibly get into... ADULT SITUATIONS!"

 

"Nah..." said Sasuke, "he's Iruka's bitch. He won't do anything. And besides, he's always at Obito's grave, being... all... angsty. He just chooses not to monologue his angst.... unlike SOME people."

 

He coughed in my direction.

 

"Hey!" I said in a rather loud voice (but not so loud as to be unangstic), "you monologue too!"

 

He looks at me funnily.

 

"What?" he says, "When have I ever monologued?"

 

"Uh..." I said sarcastically, "how about those chapters where you retold you past? It was practically overflowing with, 'oh, Aniki! How could you do this?' and those damn, 'oh ha ha, Aniki. You hit me on the head, but I'll still smile stupidly as you walk away' moments! God! You had five whole chapters of that! I only got... what? HALF a chapter?! You sicken me..."

 

We sat there, in tense silence, glaring at each other, until Sasuke finally said, "so, Kakshi's invited..."

 

"Yeah." I said.

 

Okay, Neji, you HAVE to think of a good, angsty person, otherwise you'll LOSE. And you don't want to lose, do you? DO YOU?! YOU LOSER!

 

So I sat down in my best thinking/angsting a little on the side pose, and... well... thought.

 

I re-awakened form my 'deep thinking pose' (seriously... angsty) to say, "yes, I think Chouji should be invited."

 

"...What?" asked Sasuke.

 

"Think about it," I said, "Chouji's fat, and fat people are sad because they're fat, leading them into a downward spiral of depression and Burger Hut visits."

 

Oh yeah, go Neji, use those big words.

 

"Hm..." Sasuke thought for a moment, "No, I think that Chouji is one of those jolly fat people, like Santa..."

 

...Damn DAMN DAMNIT!!

 

Curse you Sasuke... I went through so much trouble with that thinking pose and you just shoot me down like that?!

 

Well, here's an idea that'll be so angsty that you won't know where, when, what, or HOW it hit you!

 

"WE SHALL INVITE..." I said, pausing dramatically, "SHINO!!"

 

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Yes. In my soul opinion, Shino is angsty. Yeah, you heard me. Shino is angsty. Shino is also very sexy. I love Shino. I wish he'd marry me. Read my story about Shino becoming a chuunin. It's t3h 0wn4g3.

 

(This story is by no means is meant to offend fat people)

 

Read? Ideas? Review!