Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Path of No Regrets: Renewal ❯ Chapter 5

Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto then I would be writing stuff like this for profit, not slaving through the weekend and putting off finishing my research paper. Stupid college. (makes rude gesture)

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Well, it's too late tonight
To drag the past out into the light
We're one, but we're not the same
We get to carry each other

--U2, “One”

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Path of No Regrets

-Chapter 5-

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It wasn't what Jiraiya said so much as the look in his eyes when he said it, Naruto had thought later. Sad, reminiscent, pitying… like he'd already had this exact same discussion with someone else, a hundred times, and Naruto was no different—just another innocent fool too naïve in the ways of the world to see the truth that was right in front of him.

It had pissed Naruto off, that look.

He'd finally managed to get to sleep—it had been back when he was still in the hospital, during that first night after they'd retrieved Sasuke—when he'd been suddenly jolted awake by a loud thud. His first thought, only half-awake, had been that he must have accidentally dropped his bowl of ramen, and wasn't that odd, because ramen didn't usually make such a loud thud, that must have been some freaking heavy ramen. Then he'd woken up a little more and realized that of course ramen didn't make such a loud noise; he must have been dreaming. Having solved this peculiarity, he very nearly went right back to sleep, until it suddenly occurred to him that if not a bowl of ramen, something must have made that sound.

Muttering a bewildered curse, he sat up and crawled over to peer out his window. And there Jiraiya had been, perched casually atop the head of an enormous frog, waving a nonchalant hello as if people appeared out of nowhere atop enormous frogs in the middle of the night all the time. The old pervert had bid him a jaunty, “Yo,” before seating himself comfortably on the windowsill.

He'd then told Naruto three things. The first two Naruto had no issue with—if anything, they were good news. One, Jiraiya was going to train him from this point on, and make Naruto his official apprentice. And two, according to his information network, the Akatsuki weren't going to come after Naruto again for three years. Not only that, but Orochimaru wouldn't be able to take Sasuke's body as a vessel for his soul for three years either. This had elated Naruto, because it was at least one thing that he wouldn't have to worry about for the time being. He'd made a note to cross out the image of Orochimaru with Sasuke's face—or the other way around—from his list of bad dream images. One down, just a few dozen to go… but at least it was a start.

But then he'd noticed Jiraiya looking at him oddly, and he'd frowned. “What?”

And Jiraiya, with that look in his eyes, had said simply, “You probably don't want to hear this, but you should reconsider what you think about Sasuke.”

Naruto had stared, blinking in shock at first, and right before he could stammer out a response, Jiraiya had cut him off. “That kid… I know his type. He'll never stop seeking out power, no matter what the cost. You may have brought him back, but that doesn't mean anything will have changed.”

“You don't even know him!” Naruto had retaliated angrily.

“I've known enough shinobi like him to know what kind of person he is. Sasuke is the same type as Orochimaru.”

Naruto's eyes had narrowed. “You may not give a crap about him, but to me he's a friend!”

“Do friends injure their companions?” Jiraiya had turned on him suddenly, taking Naruto aback. “Do friends betray their comrades and then attack them?”

Naruto had looked away, hurt by the sudden reminder and angry that he couldn't think of a decent response to that.

“…Just think about it,” Jiraiya had said finally. “I know you think of him as a friend, but you wouldn't be the first to believe that about someone and be mistaken.”

And he'd met Naruto's eyes pointedly, and there had been the look. And Naruto wasn't an idiot; he'd known exactly who Jiraiya had really been referring to and exactly why Jiraiya was really having this talk with him.

And it pissed him off.

Because Sasuke wasn't Orochimaru, and Naruto wasn't Jiraiya, either, and just because all of that crap had happened with Jiraiya's old team didn't mean it was going to happen again. And Naruto didn't care whether Jiraiya believed that or not, because he did.

He did.

So that was why Jiraiya had made him angry, Naruto thought determinedly. It had been the way he'd said it, the look in his eyes. Not because everything he had said was what Naruto secretly feared most.

So he'd pushed it back in his mind after Jiraiya left, and had refused to think about it again. Because damn it, he'd only just gotten rid of the Sasuke-Orochimaru face in his dreams.

And damned if he was going to welcome it right back.

---

He'd kept right on refusing to think about it through the next day, when he was discharged from the hospital, and when they hadn't allowed him or Sakura to visit Sasuke. It was because Sasuke was still asleep, Naruto thought firmly. Not because they were keeping him a prisoner or anything. All he'd done was leave—that was it. Well that and fight Naruto, but he'd keep that part secret to his grave if he had to. It wasn't anyone else's business. So they had no reason to lock Sasuke up—he was worrying for nothing.

The following day, after being turned down once again, he'd gone to do a little halfhearted training. Eventually he'd wound up at Ichiraku. He had just been assuring the concerned owners that no, he wasn't going to try and drown himself in his bowl of miso ramen—apparently he hadn't been hiding his emotional distress as well as he'd hoped—when Sakura had suddenly come running up, out of breath, and told him that Sasuke was no longer in the hospital.

Naruto's mind, which had become increasingly mutinous over the past few days, had immediately responded by playing every one of his banned dream images on repeat, and he'd cursed vehemently as panic rose up inside him. He'd been telling himself repeatedly that Sasuke wouldn't try to leave the village again, and even if he did, someone would definitely stop him. But try as he might, the fear refused to abate. So he and Sakura had split up to search for him, with Naruto all the while telling his paranoia to shut it, which of course did nothing to help.

He'd found Sasuke sitting on an old dock, having decided to check there based on a flash of childhood memory and a feeling he didn't ignore. The sight of Sasuke sitting there had brought on a host of accompanying memories, some that he liked and some that he would be happy to never think about again, and before he knew it, he'd found himself walking over. It was only after doing so that he'd realized he had no idea at all of what to say.

Which Sasuke was it that he would be speaking to, he'd wondered with sudden apprehension: the old one, his rival and friend, or that one from the valley who had laughed coldly and tried to kill him? Was this the Sasuke he had tried to save, the one who was still in the darkness… or was this the one who had embraced the darkness and didn't even care?

What if we fight again, right here? he'd thought suddenly, and for a moment he almost wanted to turn and walk away again. In the end, it was Sakura's face that stopped him, accompanied by a flash of reminder about a promise he'd made, to both her and to himself.

We'll be a team again.

No, he'd realized, he couldn't leave. He still had that promise to keep, and if he ever wanted his best friend back, he couldn't run away from this, ever.

So he'd stayed, and at that exact moment his stomach had growled, reminding him of the ramen bowl he'd abandoned no more than half an hour ago. And so the first words that came out of his mouth had not been words of anger or concern or anything that had to do with what he felt about Sasuke at all, but were instead a simple bemoaning of his stomach's current state.

“…Dammit, I'm hungry.”

And just like that, they had talked. It had been awkward, but he guessed that was the best he could hope for right now, and at least Sasuke hadn't been like he was at the Valley of the End. He hadn't been cold or cruel; instead he'd just been quiet—really quiet, even for Sasuke—and… preoccupied, maybe. With something, or a lot of things… but Naruto supposed that Sasuke did have a lot to be preoccupied with now.

The important thing, though, was that Naruto had managed to get one thing out of him: a promise. That he wouldn't leave again. And even if he'd gotten nothing else, even if the air between them had been all wrong and heavy and uncomfortable in a way that somehow made it feel like nothing would ever be the same between them again… at least he'd gotten that promise. And as long as he had that, then at least he still had time.

Because in all honesty… he had no idea what to do now. He wasn't any good at this sort of thing, solving a problem that wasn't out in the open, that he couldn't deal with directly. He'd tried beating the shit out of Sasuke already, and that hadn't worked. Slowed things down, maybe, but that wasn't enough. He hadn't fixed anything, Sasuke was still… well, he wasn't trying to go to Orochimaru any longer, but he was still different. It was like a shadow was hanging over him that Naruto couldn't peel away no matter how he tried.

He could figure this out—he had to. But he needed the time. So for now, he would just have to trust Sasuke, and hope that he was better at keeping his promises than, it seemed, Naruto was.

---

It was Kakashi, of all people, who woke him up on the following day by knocking on his apartment door. Blinking in sleepy surprise, Naruto stumbled out of bed and opened the door to find his sensei standing there patiently, holding an old Icha Icha volume that looked as though it had seen better days.

“Good morning,” said Kakashi politely.

Naruto stared at him for a moment, vaguely wondering what time it was, and then whether he had ever seen Kakashi at this hour of the morning before. “…It's not even eight o'clock yet,” he said finally in a rather dumbfounded voice.

“I thought I'd seize the day today,” Kakashi answered with a shrug. “Get dressed.”

“Why?” Naruto asked, momentarily confused. They couldn't be doing a mission today, not so soon after… were they…?

“I have a mission for you,” Kakashi said.

“What?” Naruto exclaimed, wondering if Kakashi was insane.

“I want you to help Sasuke move his things.”

“…What?” Naruto repeated. “Move? He's moving?”

“Yep. So are you, as a matter of fact,” Kakashi added as if this wasn't completely out of the blue. “But not just yet. In the meantime, though, Sasuke's going to be staying with you.”

Naruto gaped at him.

“…What?”

“So get dressed,” Kakashi continued. He paused. “You know where Sasuke lives, right?”

“Yeah, but—”

“Ah, good. I'll be along in a little while; I have to go and pick up something first. You two will be able to handle things until then, yes?”

“We… well, yeah, but—”

“Great.” Kakashi patted him on the head cheerfully. “Well then, I'll see you in a little bit. Nice hat, by the way.”

Naruto reached up to adjust the sleeping cap which Kakashi had tilted askew, and stared voicelessly as the jounin poofed away.

…Help Sasuke move. In. With him.

No, Kakashi wasn't insane… he was completely out of his mind.

The most you could say about him, Naruto thought in exasperation as he turned back inside, was that at least he used the door.

---

As Naruto stared at the entrance to the Uchiha mansion, however, he wondered if maybe Jiraiya didn't have a point. Maybe windows were the way to go after all. He could steal in and maybe sneak up and surprise Sasuke or something, and even if it pissed the other boy off (as it no doubt would), at least it would still be better than standing here awkwardly knocking on the door. He liked being in control of what happened better than he liked standing back. And for some reason, it was just really hard to muster up the will to knock and wait for Sasuke to let him in.

Then again, Sasuke was the type of person who probably set up traps on all of his windows, just because. And on the off chance that he did, and Naruto ended up stuck in—or skewered by—one of those and waiting for Sasuke to come… no. All things considered, the door was probably the lesser of two evils.

So…

Come on, damn it, knock!

He knocked. And waited. And hated it, but oh well.

Sasuke took his sweet time responding, and Naruto was just getting half a mind to go and climb in through a window anyway when the other boy finally slid the door open and stared at him. He had dark circles under his eyes, and he didn't look pleased to see Naruto. Naruto, who didn't much care since he wasn't too thrilled to see Sasuke right now either, ignored this. “Hi.”

“…Hi,” Sasuke replied, looking at him as if waiting for an explanation. Kakashi probably hadn't told him, Naruto thought suddenly. Probably he'd left it for Naruto to explain instead; that would explain why he'd disappeared afterward. Shit.

“I'm here to help you move, I guess,” he said finally, hoping Sasuke at least knew about the moving part. “Kakashi-sensei made me,” he added as a quick afterthought, not wanting to take the blame for any of this.

Sasuke said something vulgar-sounding under his breath that Naruto couldn't quite hear. “Great.”

At least he didn't sound too surprised, so Kakashi must have at least mentioned it in passing. Better than nothing. “…So can I come in?” Naruto said at last, shifting awkwardly on his feet.

Sasuke sighed, but reluctantly moved to allow Naruto to enter. “Take your shoes off,” he said after a moment.

“I know!” said Naruto, shooting him an indignant glare.

“Whatever.” Sasuke turned. “Come on, then; let's get this over with.”

Annoyed, Naruto followed him in to what he assumed was the living area. There was a low table in the middle of the room surrounded by seating cushions, and a TV sitting against one wall. Several other chairs and cabinets dotted the rest of the floor, and the walls were decorated with an assortment of scrolls and an inordinate number of red and white fans. Naruto was just wondering if the Uchihas had suffered from some obsessive-compulsive need to put their clan emblem on everything, when he realized Sasuke was pointing him toward a closet in the far corner of the room.

“There should be a few boxes in there. Just dump whatever's in them out on the floor there and bring the boxes over.” He gestured to a nearby chiffonier. “There're a few scrolls in here that I want to hang onto. You can start taking them out; I'll be back to sort through them in a few minutes.”

“Where are you going?” Naruto muttered as he headed toward the closet.

“Attic. See if I can't find a few more boxes there.”

“How much stuff are you bringing?” Naruto wondered aloud, glancing again at all of the furniture.

“Whatever I need. I am moving, Naruto,” Sasuke said with a frown.

“Yeah, but how much of this are you actually going to be able to fit?” said Naruto, thinking about what little space he had to begin with. “I mean, I wanna be able to still move around.”

“What do you mean?” Sasuke asked, pausing suddenly.

Naruto froze. Surely Kakashi had told him about that part… right…?

“You know… in my apartment.”

Sasuke stared at him, and Naruto fought the sudden urge to run, or possibly find Kakashi-sensei, wherever the hell he was, and drag him back over all the while pointing and shouting, `He did it! He did it!'

“…Your apartment!”

“It wasn't my idea!” said Naruto immediately. “Kakashi-sensei just came and told me—he only did it just this morning!”

“He never said I was moving with you!” Sasuke said, sounding outraged.

“Well, it's not my fault!” Naruto replied in indignation. “Look, he just said it and disappeared, okay? I can't do anything about it so stop barking at me!”

“Well, what else am—!” Sasuke started before breaking off furiously and turning away. There was a long pause. Finally, Sasuke exhaled very slowly before speaking again. “I can't believe he's… of all the things…”

“Yeah, well…” Naruto shrugged uncomfortably, thinking that Sasuke wasn't the only one unhappy with this turn of events. “It's not like I asked for this to happen either, so take it up with him.”

Sasuke glanced back at him for a moment, then looked away uneasily. “It wouldn't have been my choice… you don't have anything to do with this.”

“Well, I guess they just decided that since I'm your fucking teammate, maybe I do,” Naruto retorted, feeling a rush of anger and not quite certain why.

Guilt struck him almost as soon as he'd said it, and he winced as Sasuke grit his teeth but didn't reply. “…Look, I don't mind,” Naruto amended finally. “Not really. It's… it'll take some getting used to, I guess, but… it's all right.”

There was a long silence. Finally Sasuke shrugged and offered a reluctant nod. “All right. I guess there's no choice, so…”

He looked around the room for a moment, then finally sighed and nodded toward the chiffonier. “Just get the scrolls out, then. I'll get a few bags and take what I can fit with my clothes and everything else.”

With that, he disappeared down the hall, leaving Naruto alone in the room. He stood there for a moment, then finally moved to open the doors of the cabinet. Inside were a number of old scrolls, piled up in some disarray. He started taking them out and lining them up on the nearby table. When he was through, he hesitated for a moment, then picked one up and opened it. It was too dark in the room, however, for him to make much out; the curtains had been drawn, blocking out most of the natural light. He glanced around for a light switch, and finally spotted it near the door. As he moved to turn it on, however, he paused as an odd marking on the opposite wall caught his eye.

He looked at it a moment, then flipped on the light for a better look. A number of short, straight lines had been etched along the wall at varying heights, coming up to about his shoulder at their highest point. Beside each line were a few scrawled-out numbers—dates. A smile curved up one end of Naruto's mouth before he could stop himself—he knew what this was.

“What are you looking at, usuratonkachi?”

Doing his best to hide his sudden grin, Naruto shrugged. “Nothing.”

Sasuke glared at him, then dumped an empty duffel bag on the floor. “Fine. Help me pack some of these up.”

---

It took them the better part of an hour to sort through everything Sasuke wanted to consider bringing, and by the time they were finally through, it was almost mid-day. Naruto managed to spot three Anbu during the walk to his apartment laden with Sasuke's bags, and wondered if his teammate's new living arrangements meant that he would be seeing a lot more of the elite shinobi from now on. He suppressed a sigh; odds were he'd better get used to it.

Kakashi was waiting for them outside Naruto's door, and both Naruto and Sasuke met him with glares that he cheerfully ignored. “Ah, there you two are. I was beginning to think you'd somehow gotten lost.”

“When the hell were you going to tell me you were moving me in with him?” Sasuke demanded before Naruto could even start his own angry tirade.

“Hmm?” said Kakashi thoughtfully, feigning confusion. “…Oh, that? Sorry, guess it slipped my mind.” He waved a pacifying hand.

“Tell me straight, right now, what exactly are we doing here?” Sasuke continued angrily. “Am I staying with him, or am I moving out again to someplace else?”

“You're both moving out,” said Kakashi calmly. “Naruto's apartment is too small for both of you, and no offense, but the higher-ups don't trust you to stay on your own, so you're moving with Naruto as soon as we can find an adequate place. This is just a temporary arrangement.”

“Wait a minute!” Naruto cut in suddenly as that hit home. “What do you mean, we're moving out? You didn't say we had to leave here!”

“I told you this morning that you were moving as well,” Kakashi reminded him.

“But—I thought that you meant—you were talking about him!” Naruto exclaimed, upset. “You didn't say that I had to move!”

“Naruto, I'm not going to say it again,” said Kakashi, looking more serious now. “Your apartment is too small for two people.”

“But this is…!” Naruto swallowed, feeling as if someone had suddenly tried to cut out a vital part of his insides without warning. “This is my place!” he said urgently. “I don't want to… I've lived here since… I don't want to just leave!”

Kakashi was quiet for a bit. When he replied at last it was not without sympathy, but his tone was firm. “I'm sorry, Naruto, but as much as this is asking, it would be even more unfair to force you and Sasuke to crowd in together after everything that's happened.”

Naruto bit his lip, but before he could respond, Sasuke spoke up quietly.

“It's all right.”

Naruto and Kakashi both looked at him questioningly. “Sasuke?” Kakashi asked.

Sasuke didn't meet either of their eyes, but he continued. “If he doesn't want to move, then whatever. It's all right. I… there's no point in forcing him just because of me.”

He shifted awkwardly, determinedly eyeing the wall, but concluded, “If he's okay with that, I don't mind.”

Naruto stared at him for a second, then turned a hopeful glance to Kakashi. For a moment their sensei looked as if he was going to protest, but then he finally relented with a sigh.

“Well, all right. If you're both satisfied with that, there's no harm in trying it out for now.”

Naruto grinned in relief and bounded over to unlock the door. Sasuke moved to follow him in, but Kakashi held him back for a second. “Hold on.”

Naruto slowed as Sasuke raised an eyebrow at Kakashi. “I've got something for you,” the jounin said as he reached into his pocket. He pulled out something that Naruto from his position couldn't see, and offered it out to Sasuke.

Sasuke hesitated before finally reaching to take it. Then Kakashi stepped back, and Naruto finally saw what it was that Sasuke was now holding in his hands: a hitai-ate. His hitai-ate, the one that Naruto had scratched during their last battle. The mark had been freshly buffed out and repaired, but it was still slightly visible, enough so that anyone who was looking for it or saw it in the right light could see.

It was quiet for a moment. Finally Sasuke said, so faintly that Naruto only just heard it, “You could have just gotten a new one.”

“I could have,” Kakashi replied. “…But there's nothing wrong with this. It's flawed, but it's still good.”

Sasuke looked downward for a very long moment, then finally nodded. Kakashi stepped forward, putting a hand on his shoulder.

“…I'll be coming by to start training tomorrow morning, so be ready.” He turned back to Naruto, adding, “And Jiraiya plans to start training you shortly if I'm not mistaken, so you should be ready too.”

When Naruto nodded, Kakashi smiled under his mask, patted Sasuke's shoulder once, and then disappeared.

Sasuke remained just standing and looking at his forehead protector for so long that finally Naruto said, “Oi, coming in anytime soon, or what?”

Sasuke started, then picked up the remaining two bags and hoisted them in. Naruto shut the door behind them, then gestured shortly to his right and left. “This is the kitchen; that way's the bedroom. And bathroom's down this way too. Uh… that's pretty much the grand tour.” He picked up a bag and started to carry it toward his room, then paused as he realized Sasuke was looking at the wall by the refrigerator. He grinned.

“That one's mine,” he said by way of explanation. Sasuke blinked and looked at him, then back at the height chart scrawled in pencil on the cheap wallpaper. He shrugged, then finally picked up his bags again and brushed past Naruto into the bedroom.

As Naruto stared at Sasuke's back, he wondered for a moment what he would do if he kept on dreaming about the Valley of the End now that Sasuke was sharing a room with him.

Pushing the thought out of his mind, he followed him in.

---

-to be continued-

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Author's Notes:

First of all, holdover note from the last chapter—the 25th shinobi saying is the one about not showing emotion (quoted somewhat more eloquently by Sakura in episode 18). Sorry, forgot to mention that for those who didn't know. (sweatdrop)

Also, to clarify about the living arrangements now that they're finally sorted out—Naruto and Sasuke will be sharing Naruto's apartment (yes, despite all of my nitpicking about its size, I intended this all along XD), and Jiraiya and Kakashi will be staying wherever they normally stay (i.e. not going anywhere), but will be training the boys on a daily basis. As for the Anbu, they'll be guarding them as well for the time being, but once Sasuke proves himself a little more trustworthy, they'll be called off too. (So Sasuke really got off easy, all things considered. XD)