Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Random Randomness ❯ Chapter 1

S.A.: Hi.

 

Title: Random Randomness

 

Summery: I'm bored so I'm just gonna type and see what happens… You've been warned. Randomness. Lots of it.

 

Warnings: Uhh… Me. Pandas. OOC-ness. Penguins. Bunnies. My cat(s). Randomness. Paperclips. Bad writing. Plot or lack there of. My birds, Lemon (I named her) and Petie (my sister named him). My weird sense of humor. Cupcakes. Anything else I can think of. I didn't take my meds this morning.

 

Type: Totally Random

 

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto but if I did, I'd dance. Ohhh, I'd dance. I'd dance like Neji and Shino do!

 

S.A.: Here we go!

 

 

 

 

The Rookie Nine and Gai's team were sitting in the park. Suddenly, there was a big explosion. In the crater left by the explosion stood two cats. One was on a skateboard. Two birds flew over head; one yellow and one green. No one except the Rookie Nine and Team Gai seamed to notice the explosion or the animals that appeared out of no where. Suddenly, the cat that wasn't on the skateboard became human, with clothes and everything.

“Who are you?” Tenten asked the Cat-turned-Human.

“My name is Tiger and I'm SilentAngel1291's cat. Since this is her fanfiction, she can do whatever she wants with me, so I can suddenly become human.” He pointed to the other cat. “That's Princess, S.A.'s other cat. She could transform, too, but she's too lazy.”

“Okay.” Sasuke said.

“You're cute. Even cuter than Sasuke.” Sakura said with hearts in her eyes.

“Okay then…” Tiger said, looking a little freaked out. “… STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT OR S.A. WILL SICK HER PAPERCLIPS OF DOOM ON YOU AND THEN MAKE YOU MARRY A PANDA FROM SOUTH AFRICA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOT THE PAPERCLIPS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!... Wait do they even have panda's in South Africa?” Sakura asked.

“Probably not, but S.A. will find one!”

“Lalalalalalalalalalalalalala…” Said a girl with long yellow hair said beside a man with green hair that's cut like your dad's. And if your dad is bald, then it's cut like you neighbor's dad's. If he's bald, then it's cut like SOMEBODY'S, I don't care whose, DAD'S HAIR IS CUT. Okay, back to the randomness.

“Who are you?”

“I'm Lemon, S.A.'s bird and this is Petie, her other bird and he's also my boyfriend. I like to yell at him, but if I do, S.A.'s dad yells at me.”

For no apparent reason, Kiba pulled out a pencil.

“NOOOOOOOOO!!! IT'S A PENCIL!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Both Lemon and Petie screamed.

Then, Sasuke jumped off a cliff.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HE'S TOO HOT TO DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Ino and the fan girls screamed. Sakura was to busy staring at Tiger to notice that the “Love of Her Life” had just jumped off a cliff.

Then Ino noticed something. “Wait. Shika's hot, too. I wonder why I never noticed before.” So, she totally forgot about Sasuke and glomped Shika.

Then Neji jumped up and started dancing.

O.O Everyone except Sasuke (`cause he's dead) stared.

Then, Michael Jackson came out of the woods.

“Look!!! It's my boyfriend!!!” Somebody yelled. Everyone turned to see Orochimaru pointing at Michael Jackson.

“Nu-uh!!! He's my boyfriend!!!!” Everyone turned to see Itachi.

So Orochimaru and Itachi started a fight to the death to see who Michael Jackson's boyfriend really was, but the said man had already run off to find little boys and invite them to Neverland. In the fight, Itachi and Orochimaru accidentally rolled off the cliff that Sasuke jumped off.

So, everyone shrugged and Neji started dancing again and everyone returned to staring.

And Shino joined in.

“We're gonna bogie-ogie-ogie till we just can't bogie no more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” They sang out.

Everybody's eyes got bigger and Kiba's eyes fell out of his head. Literally.

“Hinata, help me find my eyes!!” Kiba said, on his hands and knees. His eyes were rolling away and Hinata started to chase them. Two bunnies hopped out of the bushes.

“Oh. H…hello, little bunnies.” Hinata said. Then, the bunnies ate Kiba's eyes and ran away.

Because he couldn't see, Kiba walked into a lake and drowned.

“Neji… why are you dancing?” Tenten asked.

“I… Don't… Know…But…I…Can't…Stop!” Neji said, through gritted teeth.

“We know why!!” Everyone turned and saw Lemon and Petie dancing like Shino and Neji were. “We're controlling their minds and making them dance. And sing.”

Everyone shrugged and the teachers walked up with a radio and while they DJ-ed, their students danced. Kuranai picked out a song and, do to Lemon and Petie, Shino and Neji were forced to dance to it.

Put you left foot in.

Take your left foot out.

Put your left foot in.

And shake it all about.

Do the hokey pokey.

And you turn yourself around.

That's what it's all about!!

“Kuranai-sensei, I'm gonna kill you.” Shino thought.

Put your right foot in…

After the Hokey Pokey finished, Gai put in his second favorite song. Which, of course, Shino and Neji had to dance to and Neji was going to kill him for.

I don't wanna be a chicken.

I don't wanna be a duck.

So, I'll shake my butt.

Then, came Gai's all time favorite song, meaning it was Lee's as well.

Ooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting!

And break-dancing penguins eating cupcakes fell out of the sky and started to dance.

Then, a meteor fell on Gai.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GAI-SENSEI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Lee cried.

Lemon released Neji from her mind control and together, he and Tenten pushed Lee off the cliff. Then, they started making-out.

Asuma had a stroke because he smoked too much and died.

Hinata finally snapped and started laughing evilly.

O.o Everyone stared. Petie released Shino from his mind control.

“Hinata…” Shino said slowly. “Are you okay…?”

“Okay? I'M BETTER THAN OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Hinata pulled out a machine gun from nowhere and started shooting Sakura. “Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now Naruto will love ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

“I still don't love you…” Naruto said. So, Hinata killed him.

“Well, everyone else is going insane; I MIGHT AS WELL, TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Kuranai said. She pushed Kakashi off the cliff but, he grabbed her ankle and pulled her off, too.

Hinata killed Ino's sanity so; Ino killed Chouji because he wouldn't give her a potato chip.

And then she accidentally shoved Shika off the cliff.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Ino jumped after Shika.

While she was shooting random people, Hinata accidentally killed Shino and, for the good of the community, Neji and Tenten shoved Hinata off the cliff, went to get ice-cream and eloped on their way to Mexico (even though they live in Japan O.o). However, as they crossed the border, a panda from South Africa fell out of the sky and landed on them and all three exploded.

 

The End… or is it? O.o

 

S.A.: …Whoa… Oh, wait. That's right; I didn't take my meds this morning. Review, if you want. I don't care. I'll update this whenever I'm felling random. `Till then… sorry. Buh-bye.

 

It's all fun and games until someone gets hit with a panda and explodes.