Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Rebound ❯ Chapter 11 ( Chapter 11 )

Rebound

 

 

By Mija

 

 

Disclaimer~I do NOT own Naruto and company tyvm. So no suing k? Anyhow heres the next installment, wow, two new chapters in a short span of time..go me. lol. Regular warnings apply from previous chapters.

 

 

Chapter 11

 

 

They reached their destination and ordered a bottle of sake, as well as a plate of an assortment of appeatizers. Kakashi raised his visable eyebrow as Iruka slammed down two cups of sake in less than five minutes. They had just settled in at thier table. Iruka looked at Kakashi and saw the face he made and rolled his eyes.

 

"Shut up and don't look at me like that, I am a grown man of legal drinking age and if I want to get hammered then I will, I don't need your permission. S'ides, I don't have any classes tomorrow so I can get as smashed as I please, thank you very much." Iruka stated without remorse and Kakashi seemed to smile.

 

"I wasn't going to say a thing sensei." Kakashi replied with amusement in his tone. Iruka just narrowed his eyes and glared at the white haired nin sitting across from him.

 

"Ya whatever you say Kakashi SENSEI." Iruka replied, stressing the sensei part, even if Kakashi wasn't exactly a teacher at the moment. Sasuke was gone, Naruto was gone and Sakura was training with the Godaime. So Kakashi wasn't really anyones teacher right now was he?

 

"So why did you insist on coming with me Kakashi?" Iruka added after a look from Kakashi, it hadn't past him that Iruka had first stressed upon the sensei and then left it out entirely the next minute.

 

"Cause we need to talk." replied Kakashi and Iruka groaned.

 

"No we don't, I already told you that we don't have ANYTHING to talk about, and that I really would preffer we just drop it entirely." stated Iruka.

 

"But you see thats where it gets complicated you see..In my opinion I think we have ALOT of things we need to discuss and I preferr we get them over with already..after all, we have 3 very important things in common, and one of them is coming back tomorrow." Kakashi replied, Iruka knowing he meant team 7 and more specifically Naruto.

 

"What do you care? You didn't care enough about team 7 to NOT nominate them for the chuunin exams. After all, if you hadn't of nominated them then Sasuke would not have been given the cursed seal from Orochimaru, he wouldn't have defected and tried to kill Naruto to boot. Naruto would still be here, safe and sound, if still loud and brash, and Sakura would not be hurting so much over the loss of both her team mates." Iruka responded, surprised that he had said all that to begin with. Yes it was what he thought inside but he had never intended to actually say it to Kakashi's face. The look Kakashi gave him, gave Iruka the impression that Kakashi hadn't thought he would say that to him either. Oh well, it was out, he couldn't take it back, now could he?

 

"Do you honestly think I KNEW all that shit was going to happen? How the hell do you think I could of forseen all of that occuring Iruka SENSEI?" Kakashi replied, anger and a bite to his voice.

 

"You were thier sensei..you should of known." Iruka replied, ok he realized that was stupid. No one knew the future and Kakashi would never have let it happen if he had been able to predict it, but Iruka didn't care, he blamed Kakashi for what happened. Again, irrational he knew, but he needed to blame SOMEONE damn it, and Kakashi was the obvious one to blame, at least in Iruka's opinion. Things were quiet for what seemed an overly long time and Iruka looked up and stared at Kakashi. Was the man so pissed off at him that he was contemplating killing him? Iruka new that Kakashi could kill him if he wanted to, but Iruka was not one for letting someones skills and higher ranking intimidate him.

 

"Don't you think I blame MYSELF all the time for what happened?" Kakashi finally spoke which actually made Iruka jump in his seat slightly. He had not expected the sad sort of tone in Kakashi's voice, a hint of self loathing. And of course after the silence he defenitly did NOT expect those words to come from the Jonins mouth.

 

"Im so fucking tired of you hating me for something I had no control over. It was not MY fault that Orochimaru decided to set his eyes upon Sasuke. I did everything within my power to keep that snake bastards hands off of him. And do you think I don't relive the quilt of having taught Sasuke the chidori? The very thing he used to shove his hand into Naruto's chest and almost kill him? What the hell do you want from me Iruka SENSEI? If truth be told, no one WANTED to take on the responsiblity of training the stoic, moody Uchiha heir, or the vessel of the nine tailed fox demon. I was the only one who accepted it, even gladly took the job. I thought I could help them in some way. I don't know, maybe I was to over confident, too cocky or what the fuck ever, but I TRIED my damdest Iruka. I gave those kids my all. My methods may have not been what one would call orthadox but I think it made them stronger. They got threw the chuunin exams and survived because of the training I taught them. So I must have done at least SOMETHING right, don't you think? But the absolutly worst part of it all? Is that no matter how hard I tried I still fucked up didn't I? I lost Sasuke to Orochimaru cause I wasn't strong enough to abate some of the hate he harbored in his soul, vengence for his brother and the massacre, I lost Naruto to Jiraiya because I was so fucking focused on Sasuke that I thought I needed to focus on him the most..almost costing Naruto's life in the process, Naruto is better off with Jiraiya. As for Sakura? Hell she is FAR better off training with Tsunade-sama. There at least she is getting the training and the attention I never had the time to give her, since my attention focused to much on the boys I neglected the last but not least of our group. It's pathetic really when you think about it..all of my students have now become the students of the legendary Sannin, and its totally all my fault. So you see Iruka I don't need YOU to blame me for what happened..I blame myself enough as it is." Kakashi stated with sorrow, regret and anger in his tone. And Iruka was totally speechless. Who knew the bastard Copy Nin actually HAD a heart and actually felt guilt about something. But knowing this and having heard it from the perverbial horses mouth, Iruka had nothing to say, he actually felt ashamed of the way he had acted to the man. Ya, he had wanted Kakashi to suffer, to feel some sort of pain, take the blame. But wanting it and actually seeing it was totally two diffrent things. Now he was not so sure anymore. Who the hell would of thought that the lazy bastard had a heart after all?

 

Again things were silent between them. Iruka didn't even bother to try to cop a peek of what was underneath Kakashi's mask whenever he pulled it down to gulp cup after cup of sake. Iruka had slowed his need to gulp everything in sight in under five minutes. But he did drink his sake, but in sips. The silence was awkward and very uncomfortable. Things had been said that could NOT be unsaid. For Iruka he felt cheated a bit. All this time he felt that Kakashi had not felt any remorse or blame for what had occured, making it soooo easy for Iruka to hate him. Now knowing that he did, well it was like letting air out of a balloon. He was left deflated and empty. He wasn't quite sure HOW to feel anymore. But one thing was certain, his whole outlook on Kakashi had changed drasticly in just a very very short time, and this was going to take some getting used to.

 

"Why did you have to tell me all this Kakashi sensei? I was happy blaming you for what happened, as long as I felt you didn't really feel any remorse over what happened I was content to blame you for it, to hate you for what happened.....but you went and ruined that for me didn't you? It's hard to blame someone for something they had no control over, even if I did a good job of doing it anyway...but you see Kakashi...I NEEDED somone to blame. Sure it was easy to blame Orochima, but he wasn't here for me to see and detest, to see his face daily and hate him for what he had done. You were easy for me to blame..I NEEDED to have SOMEONE to blame, because I needed some sort of outlet for what I felt. But now? Now its no longer a real option for me is it? How can I hate a man who already hates himself? How can I blame a man who blames himself for things way out of his control? Yes, agreed, I blamd you when I had no right, I hated you with out real cause, but I needed a scape goat and you were the most likely canidate for it, but you took that way from me didn't you? Can't blame you anymore, or hate you for that matter...and you shouldn't blame yourself or hate yourself either...as you said...how could you have forseen what was about to happen? How could you know?" Iruka finally replied and Kakashi looked at him as if he had grown an extra head.

 

"Ironic those words coming from you...Im entitled to blame and hate myself for what happened to my team..they were my resposiblity...now your telling me that I shouldn't? When all this time you were doing to same thing? Blaming me? Hating me? Your a very confussed man Iruka sesei." Kakashi responded with annoyance lacing his tone.

 

"Look Im sorry that I blamed you, that I took out all my frustrations out on you for something you had no control over..I apologize for this, truelly I do, but you don't have to be a bastard about it you know."

 

"Actually I think im entitled to be a bastard about it..for almost three years you've harbored this grudge against me falsly, you hated me when I did nothing to YOU to deserve it, but I'll tell you what Iruka sensei...Im actually glad we had this conversation...now I know more about your reasons for hating me, and I can deal with that...I've said my peace and all that jazz so I won't bother you anymore sensei..thanks for the drinks." Kakashi replied as he stood up and gave Iruka a two finger salute from behind as he walked out of the establishment, leaving Iruka feeling oddly empty. Iruka was soo confussed and now he felt like shit. He had treated the man like crap and now? Well fuck, he didn't know what to think or feel. He needed another drink. He didn't want to think anymore, it hurt to much and confussed the shit outta him.

 

 

 

A/N~Okies another chapter yay me!..yes its short but this part needed to be done. Hope it didnt sound to rushed. Iruka has not so much forgiven him, but more like realized how stupid it was to blame kakashi for what happened when it wasn't Kakashi fault. And Iruka being Iruka, he felt like shit for making kakashi feel like shit and wishing pain on him...hope that came across. But now how is Iruka supposed to act around Kakashi, and how will this change the way he acts around him? I actually dunno, Im just going along and typing what is in my head, so not even I know whats gonna happen till I type it out..but I have a fairly good clue as to how i want it to end so lets hope it gets to that point huh? Thank you all again for your patience and for sticking with me on this, huggles and smiles Mija...:-)