Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Regret Not A Thing ❯ Ch. 17: Growing Old in Winter ( Chapter 17 )

Regret Not A Thing

By Mizerable

 

 

 

Ch. 17: Growing Old in Winter

 

 

 

They weren't completely sure of even how long they'd been on the road anymore. All the three understood was the cold. Their fingers had long gone numb, their joints ached, any bit of skin exposed to the elements was chapped red. They were far too young to feel this old.

 

They paused only to double-check the map, confirming the best path to take. Sakura stared into the desolate white landscape that stretched out into the distance, mountain peaks looming on the horizon. The sun was bright in the clear sky and made it difficult to look at the snow-covered land. Pity it didn't offer any shred of warmth.

 

She adjusted the scarf covering her face and continued the trek onward.

 

Sasuke-kun.

 

There were many miles to go, but the road still led back home. That's what they all kept telling themselves.

 

* * *

 

Sasuke bolted up in bed, drenched in sweat and fear gnawing at his stomach. It was only mid-evening at best, yet he had been sleeping. But there were no messenger birds or surprise guests at his window rousing him. It was a deep, intrinsic sense of knowing there was trouble. An awful chakra seemed to flood his senses and he knew now he was out of time.

 

The Akatsuki were in this town.

 

He struggled to pull himself out of bed. Fear and pain and fatigue overwhelmed his being. He tumbled from the bed to the floor, hand gripping his side where the newest wound had opened. All he could do was grit his teeth and crawl towards the door. The image of a snake on its belly seized his mind and he reached for the doorknob, forcibly pulling himself to his feet.

 

Oh god...He couldn't do this anymore…He couldn't…

 

“Sasuke?” Anko stood at the other end of the hall, “You alright?”

 

He used the wall as his guide as he pushed himself along. His eye met hers, cloudy and unfocused.

 

“Sasuke…?” she came closer as he struggled with each step.

 

“Sorry,” he mumbled, “For all the trouble.”

 

Her feet shuffled to a halt, her shoulders sagging forward. She couldn't believe this.

 

“Leaving again?” she asked casually. Was he completely crazy?

 

“Unfinished business,” he replied grimly as he retrieved something from his pocket, “Give this to Naruto and Sakura, when she gets back.”

 

Anko took the letter from his shaking hand, trying to think of a way to talk him out of going.

 

“What am I supposed to tell them?” she finally asked.

 

“Everything's there. They'll understand,” he answered (hoped), before bowing as best he could, “Though I want you to know…I really am grateful for all you…Because of…”

 

Because you knew. And you understood. And that's all I needed to cope with what happened in that place.

 

“Get goin' already,” she grinned broadly, “I'll see you when you get back.”

 

Sasuke was so stunned he barely remembered to breathe, but he still managed to offer a hesitant nod. She never questioned him, not really, and she never stopped him. Anko knew him too well not to let him do as he needed. And she supported him through it all. Even she had to realize he wouldn't be coming back alive. She didn't know about his involvement with the Akatsuki, or the secrets he guarded, but it didn't take a genius to know he couldn't survive much more of anything. Yet she smiled and wished him well.

 

The woman was a fucking saint.

 

Sasuke wondered if Sakura could be so good as to offer her forgiveness one more time. He sent her and the others off to far and dangerous lands with the desperate wish that the Yakushi medic might have discovered a cure but had no way of really knowing for sure. But even when he was dead and gone, at least they might be able to return with a way to save Anko. It was the only way he could ever repay the woman's generosity. The Hokage was only keeping him alive to help a truly good Konoha ninja, anyway. He had no illusions about his situation, no matter the kindness his old team held for him.

 

Not that he worried about how Naruto would feel. That idiot would forgive him a thousand times over `til the day he was dead, too. It was just his nature. Sasuke could only hope the letter he left behind could offer some sense of closure. His life was already forfeit. There was nothing left to give.

 

* * *

 

The sun almost finished setting over the mountains of Water Country when the trio came across a tiny shack. They were halfway up a slope and the wind was fierce; they were so tired and so cold, they almost had trouble believing they had reached their destination.

 

Neji knocked at the door and the three tried to maintain an appearance of neutrality. The door opened a crack, just enough for them to see a shrouded woman with only her plum eyes visible.

 

“May I help you?” her words were loaded with suspicion.

 

“Well,” Shikamaru began, “We're here because—“

 

“Sasuke-kun told us to find you,” Sakura's desperation got the best of her.

 

The woman's eyes widened but she did not open the door any further.

 

“Oh? Still alive, is he?” she spoke in cool, bland tones, “And what of that brother of his?”

 

“Itachi's dead,” Neji replied flatly, ever the controlled Anbu.

 

Her hand twitched as she kept her hold on the door. It did not go unmissed by the trio, but they maintained their silence. The woman lowered her eyes, expression otherwise unreadable.

 

“…I see.”

 

* * *

 

Shops were just beginning to close as Sasuke snuck through the shadows. Breath ragged, arm heavy, side sore. He stumbled across the village he once knew so well feeling like a ghost. Even familiar faces and places were hard to recognize. He'd been gone too long and soon he'd be gone forever. Fucking figured.

 

He stopped short and pressed himself against a wall to conceal himself when a shop owner stepped out to lock up for the night. He forced himself to remain still and silent despite the burning pain from the wound in his side. It grew even more difficult when he realized it was Ino closing her family's store. She seemed like a completely different person. Her hair had gotten long again, concealing half of her face. She was much taller than he remembered her being, body well-defined from countless hours of training.

 

It never really hit him until now. This whole village had grown and changed without him. And it wouldn't be long before he would die, leaving the village to carry on just as it had been. Aside from a small handful, would anyone even care if he was gone? Did it even matter?

 

No.

 

One life to protect the lives of many. Not just Naruto and Sakura, whom he cared for immensely. Or Anko, whom he owed an immeasurable debt. Or Kakashi, whom he would always respect. Or even Neji and Shikamaru, Hinata—Damn it all.

 

He cared about this village and its people all too much. It wouldn't be home without all of them here.

 

Suddenly the pain, the sickness, none of it mattered. He had reclaimed that sense of calm he'd found in that cell a year ago. He was not afraid. He could die for this place.

 

He understood his brother a little better now.

 

The dark of night settled in when Sasuke at last reached the banks of the Nagano River. Fireflies blinked and flickered out in a deathly shade of green.

 

“It seems you learned from the err of your brother's ways, I trust?”

 

Firefly light gleamed against his blood-colored eyes.

 

“I know what you came here for,” Sasuke spit out a mouthful of blood, no shyness about his ailment, “And I'm in no shape to run or fend you off. So just get it over with, already.”

 

Shisui's laugh was not an altogether unpleasant sound. It sent chills down Sasuke's spine.

 

“If I wanted you dead, I'd just let that curse of yours do you in,” Shisui's teeth were a terrifying splash of bone in the dark, “After all, you've been so helpful while alive. Itachi finally showed where his loyalties really lied, and now you were so kind as to send three poor souls into the mountains of Water Country. It's always so nice to know where my enemies keep their spies.”

 

Sasuke's blood froze in his veins. This just couldn't be happening. He'd played right into the Akatsuki's hand all over again. How could he still be so stupidly naïve? He just sent them all to their deaths…He'd sent Sakura…

 

Sakura!

 

“Did you honestly think we hadn't been keeping an eye on you?” Shisui's voice was light and teasing, “And even though you're sure to die soon anyway, I doubt that would keep that jinchuuriki boy you're so friendly with from coming to look for you. Wouldn't you agree?”

 

It was so clear. It was all so fucking clear now! They never intended to hunt him down just to kill him. Dead or alive, he was going to be used as bait to capture Naruto.

 

Naruto, Sakura, Neji, Shikamaru, Miss Yakushi…

His brother…

 

Just as the blackness swallowed him, he regretted giving that note to Anko.

 

* * *

 

“And why did you feel the need to come here on Sasuke's behalf?”

 

They were inside the woman's home now, craving the warmth of the fireplace.

 

“He's very sick,” Sakura felt strangely intimidated by this woman and couldn't look her in the eye, “He said you were the only one who could help.”

 

“You still haven't told me who you are,” Yakushi crossed her arms.

 

“Friends,” Sakura held out her Konoha headband. She could feel Neji and Shikamaru grow tense behind her. She was taking a major risk by declaring where her allegiance lied, especially to a complete stranger.

 

The woman stared hard at the object, trying to calculate every implication Sasuke's return to Konoha might entail.

 

“We even lied to the Hokage just to come here,” Shikamaru added. He wasn't going to leave Sakura hanging due to her admission.

 

“So he made it home…” Yakushi grew distant as she leaned against the wall, “That's good to hear.”

 

“Will you help us?” Sakura pleaded. How quick we fall back into our old ways, she thought to herself, reducing herself to an emotional fool whenever Sasuke was concerned. Could she dare say she'd become a stronger person?

 

“I will say you have good timing,” Yakushi gestured to a canvas bag in the corner, “My source had only been by recently with the necessary data, as well as the rest of Sasuke's personal affects.”

 

“Your `source'?” Neji inquired, doubt beginning to mount.

 

“I had a person planted in the Sound,” she half-lied, “Said person was forced into hiding after the village collapsed, so it took time for the research to make its way here.”

 

“A spy in the Sound,” Shikamaru grew suspicious, memories of that horrid place still fresh in his mind, “That's the first I've heard about it.”

 

And just what village was this person spying for?

 

“I imagine there is a lot you've yet to learn,” she sighed, “But such things are kept secret for a reason.”

 

Yakushi moved to the corner of the room to retrieve the bag, knowingly placing it in Sakura's hands.

 

“So this is what will save Sasuke-kun…”

 

“I won't make any guarantees. It's a rather complex procedure, one based mostly on theory.”

 

“It doesn't matter,” Sakura smiled, an odd mix of hope and cool determination, “I will save him.”

 

Yakushi, too, smiled softly beneath that concealing wrap of hers.

 

“Hmm, yes. Perhaps you will.”

 

That was when the first explosion hit.

 

The poor little house tilted on its foundation and the group hit the floor, shielding themselves from the shower of glass from blown-out windows. Yakushi was the first to rise, quickly setting herself in a defensive crouch.

 

“Did you set me up?” bewildered, then accusing, “I don't believe this. You set me up!”

 

“No!” Sakura cried out, clutching the bundle to her chest, “It's not us!”

 

“They've got to be further up the mountain,” Shikamaru assessed, calculating the current tactical situation.

 

“Wrong,” Neji spoke quietly, Byakugan activated, “They're above us.”

 

“The roof?” Shikamaru stared up at the ceiling, eyes wide and mind racing.

 

“The air,” Neji replied grimly, “They're flying…We have to evacuate.”

 

Yakushi doused the fire still burning at the hearth, casting the room into darkness.

 

“Sakura,” Shikamaru called out in a hushed tone. She nodded in the dark and took the lead, spreading her illusion to conceal them as she opened the door.

 

Deidara circled overhead, staring down into a blinding snowstorm.

 

“What convenient timing for a storm to start up. Must have a genjutsu user with them, un,” his smirk grew, “As if such a trick would be any match for me.”

 

He adjusted the scanner over his eye and studied the four heat signatures it registered.

 

“Kaboom.”

 

Another bomb dropped into their midst. They barely had time to cry out as they were thrown by the blast, separated, and sent tumbling down through ice and rock.

 

Sakura tried to right herself, disoriented and head ringing. She put a hand over her ear and pulled back to see the blood now covering her palm.

 

My eardrum's ruptured…

 

She contemplated taking the time to heal it, but feared staying still for long enough to do so. It was apparent the enemy had some way to see through her genjutsu. As she gained her bearings, it slowly sunk in that something wasn't right. Something was missing from her empty arms.

 

“The cure!”

 

She spotted the bag further down the slope, near the opening of a crevice. And instinctively she dove towards it.

 

Let me make it. Please!

 

Deidara was giddy watching the scene below. All the confusion, the blood, utter chaos. Clearly a great work of art.

 

“This will be a masterpiece,” his hand-mouth shaped the clay, “An exercise in minimalism.”

 

Sakura lost her footing after the precision blast struck just behind her. She extended herself to protect her precious package with her body, though there was nothing put a halt to her downward skid. That horrible sense of weightlessness overwhelmed her and she stared down into the abyss below for an eternal moment.

 

“I won't fail you, Sasuke-kun.”

 

The memory of her promise fluttered through her mind as she caught the edge of the cliff with one hand, as she felt the jar of her shoulder dislocate. Despite the pain, she kept a death grip as the rough stone bit into her skin and she dangled over the chasm with the cure secured in her other hand. She grit her teeth and sought purchase for her fingers twitching and slipping from the frozen stone. She forced chakra into that hand, determined to keep her hold.

 

She had trained all these years just to grow stronger. It couldn't end here, so far from home. She couldn't fail Sasuke. She couldn't fail herself.

 

Tsunade-shishou.

 

With a cry, she forced every bit of strength she could into her wounded arm and vaulted her body up. She collapsed and curled up panting in the snow, holding the bag so tightly.

 

“Sakura!”

 

She weakly raised her head and saw Shikamaru approaching. His face was bloody, his clothes torn, but he was still standing. Another blast rang out in the distance and Neji tumbled away to safety before charging towards them.

 

“We've got to get him out of the sky,” Neji's breath was ragged. He and Sakura looked to Shikamaru expectantly. He, in turn, had the good grace to look put upon. It was a nostalgic expression, one that reminded the others of days long past. Days, secretly, they worked towards living once more.

 

“I've got a plan.”

 

Deidara circled overhead, wondering what possessed that little group to huddle together like vermin. As if the vulture wasn't stalking from above. Well, he thought with a grin, you are what you are. He zoomed in with his scanner, watching them as through a telescope. A microscope. He honed in on the little girl just as she turned sharply to throw a kunai. Deidara laughed as it whizzed by a good few feet from his head.

 

“Ha!” full bravado, “As if such an attack had any chance of working on me, un.”

 

Sakura merely let her lips curl into a surprisingly wicked smirk as the explosion tag went off. Deidara had been caught unawares and had to take a moment to stabilize his position in the air. Sneaky little brats…

 

And it was a perfect distraction, not to mention an adequate source of light. Shikamaru's shadow threads leapt from point to point across the ground, capturing Deidara's clay owl in its grasp. The light lasted just long enough for him to turn the bird upside down.

 

Deidara had not anticipated this trick in the slightest and was left grasping at air as he tried to reach for his bird. He dropped like a stone before crashing, rolling, down the mountainside.

 

“Fuckin' kids,” he growled, stumbling to his feet in a daze. One arm hung limply at his side while he pressed his working hand against the gash bleeding from his temple. His scanner was busted from the fall and he knocked it to the ground irritably, then resumed covering his head wound. He had just enough warning by the sound of crunching snow to look up and see Neji coming at him full speed.

 

“Two points!”

 

“Four points!”

 

“Eight, sixteen, thirty-two!”

 

“Sixty-four points!”

 

Deidara reeled backwards, numbed and weakened from having his chakra points sealed. He bitterly mused that he should have paid more attention to the fact that there was a Hyuuga among this group, kid or not. Still on his feet, still staggering backwards, he tried to plan his next attack. Wondered what he could do now that he couldn't use his chakra to convert the clay into explosives.

 

That's when he saw her, saw Sakura jumping over Neji's head, saw her fist pulled back and ready to strike. Chakra rolled in waves from that hand and Deidara could do nothing but stare up at her as she came down towards him. With a bemused expression, he decided this turned out to be an ugly picture after all.

 

Sakura's fist struck Deidara's face full force, a spray of blood, bone, and brain matter splattering across the snow.

 

Her feet dug into the snow as she skidded to a stop, turning to survey the damage with a cold expression. Both Neji and Shikamaru stared at her with raised eyebrows. They both heard she was strong after training under the Hokage, but…

 

“Sakura?” Shikamaru felt uncharacteristically awkward as he held the bag out to her. She shouldered it with her good arm, the other still hanging lamely.

 

“The woman!” she suddenly exclaimed, seemingly returning to the girl they remembered, “Have either of you seen her?”

 

“Don't you mind me,” Yakushi called from up the slope. Her head wrap had evidently been destroyed in the fight but it was still hard to make out her features in the dark.

 

“What will you do?” Sakura answered back, “Your home was—”

 

“It was just a house. Those things can be rebuilt,” her tone was firm, but not unkind, “But you three still have a long journey home. At least take some courage from knowing you just took out an Akatsuki agent.”

 

“Akatsuki?” Neji sounded as disbelieving as he was capable.

 

“Why were they out here?!” Sakura exclaimed.

 

“Like I said,” Yakushi almost sounded amused, “You still have a lot to learn. Well, godspeed and all that.”

 

Shikamaru was busy examining Deidara's corpse to see if there was anything useful left behind. There were no documents or any other kind of information. Though he did take Deidara's ring. He had a hunch this was going to come in handy later.

 

The three began their trek down the mountain, Sakura the last to reluctantly leave as she stared into the distance at Yakushi. In the weak sliver of moonlight, the woman's hair seemed almost the color of wine. Across her face, she seemed to have distinct markings or face paint of some kind. The clouds overtook the moon and Sakura never got another chance to try and learn the woman's features. When the sky cleared again, she was gone and Sakura turned to follow her teammates home.

 

Home.

 

* * *

 

It was a calm day when the three made it back to Konoha, the crisp scent of autumn dominating the air. Sunny, with some clouds. A bit cool but it was a merciful temperature compared to the Water Country mountains. Kotetsu and Izumo eyed them with somber expressions from the checkpoint as they passed through the gates. They were ragged, tired, weathered. The three looked much older than when they left. Considering Neji and Shikamaru were Anbu, it said a lot about what their mission must have entailed.

 

Sakura was quick to note the compassionate looks everyone seemed to offer them as they passed by. Shinobi came and went from hard missions all the time; these looks seemed different somehow. And that was when Ino came into view, eyes red-rimmed. She must have been crying for what looked like days. Sakura wanted to say something, anything, to her but her mouth wouldn't open. Her throat seemed to close in on itself.

 

“Ino…?” Shikamaru approached hesitantly. Internally he was kicking himself for not saying anything to her before he left. He briefly reflected on the old adage about how you always hurt the ones you love.

 

“Shikamaru,” her chin wobbled as she tried to get everything out before breaking down again, “Asuma-sensei—Asuma-sensei—”

 

Shikamaru swallowed thickly. There was no way anything she was going to tell him would be good news. He tried to steady his trembling hand as he nervously reached out and touched her shoulder. With a wail, she threw her arms around him, clutching desperately to keep herself on her feet.

 

“Asuma-sensei's dead!”

 

“Wha—How?” his voice was cracking, his eyes burned, as he held her tightly, “Oh god…oh god…Asuma…”

 

Sakura hid her gasp behind her hands, tears already spilling down her cheeks. Neji shifted uncomfortably, caught somewhere between helplessness and blinding anger. Around the corner, Temari leaned against the building with arms crossed and expression drawn. She would bring herself no closer to the scene than this. Naruto chose that moment to speed by her and round the corner at breakneck speed.

 

“Sakura-chan!”

 

She felt frozen in place with her tear-stained face as she watched Naruto come to a halt, panting. His skin looked ashen, as if he hadn't slept since she left. Knowing him, it was a likely possibility.

 

It felt entirely impossible to feel any sense of happiness considering the news they just received, but she wanted very much to tell Naruto that the mission had been a success. Things weren't completely hopeless. Or so she wanted to believe. But judging from Naruto's expression, perhaps that wasn't the case at all.

 

“Sakura-chan,” had Naruto ever sounded so vulnerable? “…Sasuke's gone.”

 

“`Gone'?” she echoed, as if she had never heard the word before, “Wait—! You mean, he's—that he—”

 

Don't tell me this, Naruto. Please don't say it!

 

“He's gone. Disappeared,” Naruto nervously wrung his hands together, “They had the Anbu searching everywhere…But then, I mean, with Asuma-sensei…”

 

He trailed off, extremely conscious of Ino and Shikamaru standing a few mere feet away. He kept his eyes trained on the ground. He couldn't look at them. And he certainly couldn't look at Sakura. Once again, he'd failed at keeping Sasuke home. Sakura had gone out and risked her life to try and find a cure. While he just let Sasuke slip through his fingers once more. He knew if he looked at Sakura's face right now, heartbreak undoubtedly in plain sight, it would absolutely kill him.

 

“Naruto,” Shikamaru's voice came out as a rasp. He pulled back from Ino but didn't let go completely. “I need to know. Asuma-sensei…who did it?”

 

The cold steel in his tone made Naruto shuffle his feet anxiously, never once raising his eyes.

 

“Akatsuki,” he mumbled, “They said the Akatsuki got `em.”

 

* * *

 

“Had you been close?” he asked, “Your old team.”

 

“No,” the other answered calmly, no hint of regret, “I'd been five years younger than them, so I imagine I made them uncomfortable.”

 

“Because you were stronger than them?”

 

“…Perhaps.”

 

“Did you even get along with your teacher?”

 

“There was nothing he could teach me that I wasn't already aware of on some level. Once again, a rather unnatural situation.”

 

“Hnn, I guess you really are as much of a genius as everyone always said.”

 

“Hardly,” his tone bordered on self-defeat. There were memories attached to that voice. “It was wartime. You either learned very fast or you died. I was fortunate enough to have a shortcut.”

 

He gestured to his eyes.

 

“Your team…they didn't survive very long, did they.”

 

“If you take anything away from this life, short as it might end up, be grateful for those few days you enjoyed with yours.”

 

A typical answer from him. He could never come out and say his team died in the war. Or that it bothered him still. Or that he wished he'd known that sense of unity the other once shared with his own team.

 

But it would seem they understood one another perfectly well. No matter how brief their time together may be.

 

 

 

To be continued…