Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Returning ❯ Realization ( Chapter 10 )
[ P - Pre-Teen ]
returning
chapter 9
kougasmate- next chapter! please review...
As Jiraiya sat down opposite to her, sighing as though the weight of the world rested upon his shoulders, Aza couldn't help but feel some what worried. What if he was angry, hateful towards her for her weakness, her stupidity.
Her hands trembled as she poured him a cup of tea, which he took gratefully, watching her over the rim of the cup as he took a slow sip.
"I thought you had no taste for tea, Aza?" He said cooly, watching as she sipped hers.
Reddening, Aza coughed, "Yes, well, the gypsies had a great liking for it, and I learned to cope."
"Gypsies...?"
Aza straigtened in her chair, positioning herself comfortabley. "Yes Jiraiya, gypsies. I lived with gypsies..."
There was an awkward pause, during which Jiraiya had finished his tea.
After a moment, Aza spoke, "Jiraiya... Naruto...how is he?"
"Parentless." Words meant to hurt, words that stung. Aza understood his intention immeadiately, to show her the consequences her weakness had caused her child. Hanging her head, a tear pressed out of her eye, rolling down her chin and into her tea, causing ripples to distort her reflection, which she could see faintly over the greenish surface.
"Why did you leave?"
"I...I don't know-"
"That's no excuse Aza! Why did you leave?"
"I don't know!"
Jiraiya stood, and his chair toppled over, onto the floor with a clatter, glarring down at Aza. "Aza, why did you abandon him?"
Aza, looking lost and forlorn, suddenly looked up, looking for all the world like a child who'd just realized something new and disturbing.
Her mouth was dry...
It tasted bitter, the words she said. "Because..." She started, a tear rolling down her cheek, "...because I- I...I hated him..."
"But it was yondaime's action, the reason he died, it was not Naruto's fault."
Aza snarled fiercly, as though something inside of her had snapped, "But I saw Toku in him, every day! Every day, I was reminded of Toku, how he died, and how my child held the very thing that killed him, keeping it alive! It made me ill, to think that as I cared for my child, to keep him alive, I was also nurturing the beast responsible for the destruction!"
Blinking stoicly, Jiraiya saw that the Aza in front of him was not the one he'd helped so many years ago, the Aza who loved to tell stories and sit by the river, the Aza who could see no wrong in anyone, no matter the circumstances. No, this was not the same Aza, this was a woman so emotionally beaten that she barely had the motivation to keep herself alive.
"Aza..."
"No Jiraiya, I don't want to hear it!" She threw her cup against the wall, watching as it shattered into a million fragments of glass, just as her life had so many years ago. And just like the glass would cut her hands as she tried to pick it up, her life had caused a bleeding that would not stop, a hole in her heart calling out to be mended, a hole that grew heavier as time inched on.
"I'm not a saint! I am not perfect!" She stood angrily, stomping over to the glass and gathering it in her hands and causing her skin to tear.
"Neither am I! Neither is Naruto, but he is sure of a heck stronger willed than you!" Jiraiya glarred at Aza, before taking in her appearance for the first time, taking time to analyze her.
Her wrists were painfully thin, and she looked sunken, depleated as she began to cry, her shoulders shaking excruciatingly. Putting a bloodied fist to her eye, she wiped her tears, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry I yelled..."
Jiraiya walked over to Aza, putting a hand on her shoulder, and realizing he could feel every bone in her back, and said, "It's not me you should be apologizing to."
Aza sniffed, standing carefully to avoid the broken glass, "I know Jiraiya, but it's so hard." She paused and bit her lip before continuing, "What do I say?"
Jiraiya shrugged, "Heck if I know, I've never had a kid..." He blinked, "At least, not that I'm aware of."
Aza giggled a little, smiling through her tears, "Thanks Jiraiya, I needed a smile...."
Jiraiya sighed, "You're still a far cry from who you used to be..."
The gypsies shoulders slumped as she sighed, "I know... I know...But I don't hate him. I don't hate him anymore...I want things to be right between us..."
Sakura knocked on Naruto's door, "Ah c'mon Naruto, open up!" She begged when he didn't answer, slightly miffed. Casting a glance at Iruka, she held out her hand, smiling as he handed her the ramen they'd brought to lure Naruto out. "I've got ramen!" She sang cheerily, knocking again.
She heard a rustle on the otherside of the door, and waited eagerly for the blond to open it.
A few minutes ticked by, and no one opened the door.
'No way is he gonna ignore us!' Inner-Sakura shouted, waving an angry fist to the sky.
Sakura, however, took the time to think things through. Two seconds later, her fist was through the door as she groped for the handle, kindly letting herself in.
Iruka looked towards the sky, praying that his former students didn't end up inadvertantly killing themselves during a temper-tanturm...or anyone else.
He could hear Naruto's angry voice protesting the damage to his door, and watched as Sakura located the handle. Turning it, she thrust the door open, stomping in.
Her mouth was open, ready to rant, but all anger stopped as she spied the blond before her. His hair had not yet been combed, and looked even more out of place then usual. His eyes were dim, and he hadn't even taken the time to put on the riddiculous night cap he loved so much. A cold bowel of ramen sat on the counter, probably prepared when Naruto had felt that he should eat, but could not bring himself to do so. A dozen kunai hung embedded in the walls, some fallen to the floor, and random objects were strewn about, no doubt thrown during a fight of rage.
Iruka stepped passed Sakura, who eyed the apartment in sorrow.
Setting the ramen on the counter, probably to cool as the other had, she joined Iruka, who sat next to Naruto on his bed. "Naruto..." She put a hand on his shoulder. She almost wished that she had misinterpretted the dull, dar off look in his eyes, like she had missinterpretted the shaking of his shoulders during the exams. She wished he would turn to her grinning the self-assured grin he always wore, betraying what she thought he felt. Iruka brought Naruto into a warm embrace, much like the one he had brought Konohamaru into during Sarutobi's funeral. But this time, a comforting embrace meant as much as a penny when one needed thousands. It made no difference, and did nothing...
kougasmate- aint Aza insane? yes she is!
chapter 9
kougasmate- next chapter! please review...
As Jiraiya sat down opposite to her, sighing as though the weight of the world rested upon his shoulders, Aza couldn't help but feel some what worried. What if he was angry, hateful towards her for her weakness, her stupidity.
Her hands trembled as she poured him a cup of tea, which he took gratefully, watching her over the rim of the cup as he took a slow sip.
"I thought you had no taste for tea, Aza?" He said cooly, watching as she sipped hers.
Reddening, Aza coughed, "Yes, well, the gypsies had a great liking for it, and I learned to cope."
"Gypsies...?"
Aza straigtened in her chair, positioning herself comfortabley. "Yes Jiraiya, gypsies. I lived with gypsies..."
There was an awkward pause, during which Jiraiya had finished his tea.
After a moment, Aza spoke, "Jiraiya... Naruto...how is he?"
"Parentless." Words meant to hurt, words that stung. Aza understood his intention immeadiately, to show her the consequences her weakness had caused her child. Hanging her head, a tear pressed out of her eye, rolling down her chin and into her tea, causing ripples to distort her reflection, which she could see faintly over the greenish surface.
"Why did you leave?"
"I...I don't know-"
"That's no excuse Aza! Why did you leave?"
"I don't know!"
Jiraiya stood, and his chair toppled over, onto the floor with a clatter, glarring down at Aza. "Aza, why did you abandon him?"
Aza, looking lost and forlorn, suddenly looked up, looking for all the world like a child who'd just realized something new and disturbing.
Her mouth was dry...
It tasted bitter, the words she said. "Because..." She started, a tear rolling down her cheek, "...because I- I...I hated him..."
"But it was yondaime's action, the reason he died, it was not Naruto's fault."
Aza snarled fiercly, as though something inside of her had snapped, "But I saw Toku in him, every day! Every day, I was reminded of Toku, how he died, and how my child held the very thing that killed him, keeping it alive! It made me ill, to think that as I cared for my child, to keep him alive, I was also nurturing the beast responsible for the destruction!"
Blinking stoicly, Jiraiya saw that the Aza in front of him was not the one he'd helped so many years ago, the Aza who loved to tell stories and sit by the river, the Aza who could see no wrong in anyone, no matter the circumstances. No, this was not the same Aza, this was a woman so emotionally beaten that she barely had the motivation to keep herself alive.
"Aza..."
"No Jiraiya, I don't want to hear it!" She threw her cup against the wall, watching as it shattered into a million fragments of glass, just as her life had so many years ago. And just like the glass would cut her hands as she tried to pick it up, her life had caused a bleeding that would not stop, a hole in her heart calling out to be mended, a hole that grew heavier as time inched on.
"I'm not a saint! I am not perfect!" She stood angrily, stomping over to the glass and gathering it in her hands and causing her skin to tear.
"Neither am I! Neither is Naruto, but he is sure of a heck stronger willed than you!" Jiraiya glarred at Aza, before taking in her appearance for the first time, taking time to analyze her.
Her wrists were painfully thin, and she looked sunken, depleated as she began to cry, her shoulders shaking excruciatingly. Putting a bloodied fist to her eye, she wiped her tears, "I'm sorry...I'm sorry I yelled..."
Jiraiya walked over to Aza, putting a hand on her shoulder, and realizing he could feel every bone in her back, and said, "It's not me you should be apologizing to."
Aza sniffed, standing carefully to avoid the broken glass, "I know Jiraiya, but it's so hard." She paused and bit her lip before continuing, "What do I say?"
Jiraiya shrugged, "Heck if I know, I've never had a kid..." He blinked, "At least, not that I'm aware of."
Aza giggled a little, smiling through her tears, "Thanks Jiraiya, I needed a smile...."
Jiraiya sighed, "You're still a far cry from who you used to be..."
The gypsies shoulders slumped as she sighed, "I know... I know...But I don't hate him. I don't hate him anymore...I want things to be right between us..."
Sakura knocked on Naruto's door, "Ah c'mon Naruto, open up!" She begged when he didn't answer, slightly miffed. Casting a glance at Iruka, she held out her hand, smiling as he handed her the ramen they'd brought to lure Naruto out. "I've got ramen!" She sang cheerily, knocking again.
She heard a rustle on the otherside of the door, and waited eagerly for the blond to open it.
A few minutes ticked by, and no one opened the door.
'No way is he gonna ignore us!' Inner-Sakura shouted, waving an angry fist to the sky.
Sakura, however, took the time to think things through. Two seconds later, her fist was through the door as she groped for the handle, kindly letting herself in.
Iruka looked towards the sky, praying that his former students didn't end up inadvertantly killing themselves during a temper-tanturm...or anyone else.
He could hear Naruto's angry voice protesting the damage to his door, and watched as Sakura located the handle. Turning it, she thrust the door open, stomping in.
Her mouth was open, ready to rant, but all anger stopped as she spied the blond before her. His hair had not yet been combed, and looked even more out of place then usual. His eyes were dim, and he hadn't even taken the time to put on the riddiculous night cap he loved so much. A cold bowel of ramen sat on the counter, probably prepared when Naruto had felt that he should eat, but could not bring himself to do so. A dozen kunai hung embedded in the walls, some fallen to the floor, and random objects were strewn about, no doubt thrown during a fight of rage.
Iruka stepped passed Sakura, who eyed the apartment in sorrow.
Setting the ramen on the counter, probably to cool as the other had, she joined Iruka, who sat next to Naruto on his bed. "Naruto..." She put a hand on his shoulder. She almost wished that she had misinterpretted the dull, dar off look in his eyes, like she had missinterpretted the shaking of his shoulders during the exams. She wished he would turn to her grinning the self-assured grin he always wore, betraying what she thought he felt. Iruka brought Naruto into a warm embrace, much like the one he had brought Konohamaru into during Sarutobi's funeral. But this time, a comforting embrace meant as much as a penny when one needed thousands. It made no difference, and did nothing...
kougasmate- aint Aza insane? yes she is!