Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Secret Love ❯ Normality ( Chapter 12 )

Disclaimer: All original Naruto characters, settings, plot etc. are the property of Masashi Kishimoto. No copyright infringement is intended and I make no profit from this story. …   　 Normality &nb sp;

“Oh, come on! You, like, know you want to. We’ll rattle you down eventually Sasoo~ Just you wait~” I could almost feel the annoyance whipping through my body. This subject was quickly getting on my nerves. Tessa was getting on my nerves, whispering in my ear about how a party would be ‘so coolicious’. No, a party for my birthday would not be ‘coolicious’ - that’s not even a word. I wanted to tell her so but I knew if I opened my mouth she’d take it as encouragement. Best to ignore her.

We were in my Language Studies class. Today we were sectioned off; half the class on a reading module while the other half - mine and Tessa’s - were to write lyrics. It was to be a companion module to everyone who had also taken Musical Studies. How I wished now that Tessa was not in both those classes. She couldn’t aggravate me from across the room - but then - no - actually she probably could.

“Sasuke~. Please, please, please let us throw you a party~” She sang in my ear and I shut my eyes, trying to block her out. How could one girl, especially one so small, be so irritating?

I tried to concentrate more on my writing. I had a few words dotted around the page, a few metaphors and a few rhymes but nothing was really calling to me. I had used symbolism in a few different ways, toying with ideas and trying to give myself inspiration. But it didn’t help that I knew I’d have to sing this. Of course I would. I hadn’t been told so but in Musical Studies I had now been officially dubbed as a Vocal. So of course I would be singing this. I wasn’t sure about Tessa - she was a Vocal too, but also played the piano so she would either have to sing or write the music to her song I guessed. I took a small glance at her page and noted that - to my further annoyance - her page was full of words, phrases and in the centre was quite clearly a well rounded lyrical. Great.

Of course, I did have an idea. It was this great idea that was stopping me from being able to move forward. If I could get the idea out of my head then it would be no problem for me to write something else. Except every time I looked at the page the only words that jumped out at me were ones I had not written - would not write. It was Sakura’s song - the one she sang in my dream. I knew it off by heart; I’d heard the lyrics so often that they were permanently drilled into my head. But I didn’t want to write them down. I didn’t want to have them in front of me: to see their meaning.

Besides, it wasn’t even finished. I couldn’t write half a song, no matter how good it was.

Tessa’s quirky voice began another round of begging and I cursed Naruto in my head. This was all his fault. He was the one who planted seeds of hope in everyone’s mind that I - me! - would want an eighteenth birthday party. Yeah, right, as if I’d ever let that happen. ‘But you’ll be eighteen’ had been his argument - not much of one in my opinion; I was older and more mature and well past the age of throwing parties. His second argument had been that we’d never had a party here. I had kept my mouth shut from telling him I’d never had a party in my life - that would only fuel his moronic logic.

“Sasuke~”

“No.”

She looked taken aback for a moment that I had answered her before - as I’d predicted - lapsing back into excuse after excuse, obviously thinking I was closer to giving in. I was not going to give in. Not at all.

I shuffled slightly in my seat, attempting to get into a comfier position for the last few minutes I was to sit here. It was sweltering hot. My face twisted into disgust as I moved; I was almost sticking to the seat. God, I hated this weather - why couldn’t we have at least one winter that lasted more than a measly three weeks? The transformation from icy cold into humid warm had taken mere days. I would never have thought it possible if I hadn’t seen it for myself.

Our first winter here I’d not seen the extent of Riera’s weather conditions. It had simply skipped winter that year, the temperature dropping to what would be considered normal for anyone from Konoha.

Speaking of Konoha, we’d received another letter a few weeks back, though it had only said that new information on Akatsuki was hard to come by but they knew the group was growing larger again. They were recruiting. The thought should have bothered me - it meant longer until they were no more. But it didn’t bother me, not at all, in fact I was almost glad.

Yes, I think I was glad.

But what I didn’t want was a birthday party. Why couldn’t we just do as we had done the year before? Okay, so I’d admit that our hill wasn’t as special now - since we’d visited it often since - but I’d rather just go there for a while than have a loud, busy party. It was unnecessary. Naruto should have known me better.

He hadn’t insisted on a party for his birthday. Why should I be forced into one? Oh yes, he’d said it was my eighteenth. What difference did it make - I was only one year older than last, what did being eighteen have to do with anything? I knew - technically - that I would be able to do more and buy more legally. But this village didn’t have much of a legal system. It was very trusting and everyone took care of themselves and others. I was able to sell alcohol, for goodness sake, and what did that say about lenience. And the Student complex had no rules either since it was run by the student body. I knew they were a little more unruly than the village but even then it was completely safe and comfortable.

It was because of this equality and comfort in the village that their leader -and Headmaster of the Educational Establishment - Mr Okido, was able to leave for long stretches of time without having a worry about this place. When we had first come here it had been a slight shock to me that a village could work with such harmony but nevertheless it did. It did work.

Thankfully I had very little time left to spend in class and immediately I was up and out of the building and home as fast as I could be. Tessa didn’t follow, though I had expected her too - over confident girl that she was. No one was going to convince me to throw a party. And that’s exactly what I told Naruto as he attempted to change my mind while working.

“Would you just give up? I’m not going to have a party. There will be no party. No party.” I said as clearly as I could, pausing in polishing glasses in order to stress the finality of my words. “No. Party.”

Naruto’s cheeks puffed out as he sighed, but he did recede to serve a selection of customers who had been waiting for a while. I was relieved that he was gone, but it was short lived. From the other side of the counter Riki approached. I nearly groaned. I wished Riki wouldn’t talk to me when Naruto was around.

Since Christmas Naruto’s attitude towards Riki had become less of a dislike and more of an obvious resentment. Every time I spent time with Riki Naruto would be treat me as though I’d committed murder. He’d sulk around and throw smart remarks until he produced an argument. Why did he have to do that? What was wrong with acting his age? But nevertheless I’d rather avoid an argument with Naruto then speak with Riki so I had stopped contact.

I didn’t find it fair on him, but I didn’t want Naruto causing trouble. I still spoke to him when I had the chance. Now was not one of those chances. I could already feel Naruto’s big blue eyes fixed on me.

“Hey, Sass.” I felt my eyebrow twitched in reflex - I hated that nickname. And anyway, what was with everybody giving me nicknames? Was my name not good enough on it’s own? It’s not even that long.

“We’ve not been able to talk in ages. When are you next off work? Maybe we could catch up.” I have to say, I was tempted. I hadn’t been out much lately. It seemed we had an open flat - any plans arranged were always situated at ours. Why we couldn’t go to Mika and Lusca’s I had no idea; at least they had a house, all we had was a four roomed apartment above a bar-turned-restaurant.

I felt compelled to answer with a yes, but didn’t want the hassle that would bring from Naruto. I was a little torn - why did Naruto have to be so difficult in the first place? The thought made me want to accept even more, but in the end I shook my head and turned back to work.

“I’m sort of busy Riki.”

He snorted and turned around but I heard him mutter something about a bitch and string. Suddenly my mind changed. I didn’t have to do what Naruto wanted. I was my own person. I made my own decisions.

“Actually,” I said, “I’m free all day Sunday.” The look on Riki’s face made me glad I’d changed my mind. I had missed spending time with someone I could relate to. I got along well with Riki, better than I did anyone else I spent time with.

“I’ll see you then, then. Meet you at mine?” He said and I nodded and turned again back to polishing the glasses.

I was interrupted by a family of three coming to sit at the bar and I went to take their order. The Father stood and took out his wallet while the mother helped her small boy child onto a stool.

“Hello. What can I get you?” I asked, smiling slightly at the little boy when he gazed at me in awe.

“Emm, well I’ll just have some sake, please and…” he trailed off, looking at his wife.

“Oh, and just a coke for me please.”

“Okay. I’ll have that with you in just a second.” I said as I began fetching them their order. I used to hate that. Waiting on other people and interacting so much, but I was growing used to it. Over time it became less of a hassle and I was beginning to get more comfortable with the people who came here frequently. This family were one of the less frequent customers but I had seen them before.

I remembered them because their little boy had such bright hair. It was red and quite long, curling to his shoulders in tight little knots. He always stared at me like I was a god.

I went to hand them their drinks and I saw the father already had the money ready. It wasn’t correct, a little extra, but he told me to keep it.

“Oh! Can I get a straw with that coke please?” The wife asked and I knew I’d forgotten something. She always shared her drink with the kid and he got a straw. So I took a bunch of straws out from under the counter and asked him to pick a colour. He stared at me again like he’d never heard someone ask him a question before, but looking down briefly at the straws before snapping his attention back to my face and muttering ‘yellow’ to me. It was the first time I’d heard him speak and I felt another smile tug at my lips.

There was no yellow so I gave him orange. He didn’t look at it anyway, too busy studying me.

I was back to polishing - cutlery this time since I had finished the glasses - when Naruto approached me. He came up behind me and stopped short of my back. I didn’t stiffen, but I slowed in my task for a moment as I waited for the inevitable. For some reason it took him longer this time to move his arms around my waist and lean his head against my shoulder. I didn’t stop to ponder why. It’s not like it bothered me anyway.

“We have new plans, Sasuke.” He says and I can sense his irrational irritation at my previous encounter with Riki. I wondered again why he needed to be such a child.

“Me and the guys are planning to go to the beach again and I know you’d just love to come.” I couldn’t help but arch an eyebrow; Tessa certainly would not be pleased with being referred to as ‘one of the guys’, and I certainly would not mind missing a day at the beach. Naruto knew this - it had always been made clear that I despised the weather here and beaches flaunted said hot weather.

Nevertheless I would go. I’m not sure why but I knew I would even as I tried to sound averse. “When is it?” I sighed.

I could feel his grin on my neck. “Sunday.” I groaned and pushed my elbows back at him, successfully dislocating him from me.

“Get off me.” I snapped, though I could tell it lacked any anger.

“Aww, why?” He whined and his hands pressed to my hips, I slapped them away.

“Because this is a family establishment and I’m sure our customers do not want to see you holding your brother in such a way.” This time it was a snap. A real snap. Because why the hell did he go and tell everyone we were brothers anyway? The point? None, absolutely none at all - just him being a regular dobe.

He paused a moment and I started polishing again. “So you’re coming this Sunday?”

I frowned “Why not another time? Why not Wednesday? I have half classes on Wednesday and we’re not working.” I tried, reluctant to go back on my word to Riki.

I could feel him grow tense behind me. “No. Sunday. That’s the only time for ages that we can all get time off at the same time.” I gripped the cutlery in my hands tighter, my eyes narrowed. I would not let him talk to me like that.

“No. I’m busy.”

His breath hitched in anger before he whispered furiously in my ear “Fine! You just go choose Him over Me!” And he stormed away upstairs. I saw movement in the corner of my eye and turned to see Riki circling his finger in the air and mouthing the word ‘wrapped‘. I sneered at him. They were both as bad as each other; petty, immature children. I would go with neither one of them on Sunday. I would not follow Naruto upstairs. I would stay there and finish my job like an adult.

When I did eventually rise to the first floor after closing the bar, I expected Naruto to jump down my throat, to moan and complain about how I cared so little about him. Well, perhaps I was expecting a bit much - he’d never reacted quite like that but I was in a state of pessimism; if I hoped for the worst I would never be disappointed.

But still! To think that the dobe would retaliate by ignoring me. I had a mind to tell him I was glad of the peace. I would have too, if I had wanted to start an argument. As it was arguments were best avoided - especially when living with somebody. It was far easier to avoid an argument with Naruto than to start one.

But then again I supposed it did give me peace. And it wasn’t an argument so I shouldn’t have complained.

However despite all rational and logical thinking it took me barely half an hour to seek him out. He had been sitting in the kitchen reading something, I cared not for what it was, when I sat down in front of him. I’ll admit how irritated I felt when I sat there being promptly ignored, but I won’t admit that this whole affair, for me, really had nothing to do with Naruto’s attitude towards Riki.

His behaviour was despicable, yes. And I would have been more disgusted by it had another problem not been plaguing my mind…and sleep…and it wasn’t my recurring dream either, for these ‘dreams’ were different each time, different and most certainly uncalled for. But it didn’t change the undeniable truth that I wanted to do it again.

Insane, I was aware, but it was a bother to me that I was itching more and more to resolve. The method - argument. So that was most likely the truth behind my illogical decision to engage in a verbal fight with Naruto against my better judgement. Sexual frustration, I suppose it would be called. I was only eighteen after all, it was normal to finally experience hormones.

And normal had become my way of life. After spending two and a half years in such a ‘normal’ place, it did things to you. It adapted you. And I was on my way to adapting to normality. If you could call it that. And in all honesty I liked it that way. I could now admit things like that - liking things.

I could admit my feelings now; I could allow myself to breathe without closing my senses off; I could listen to people and take an interest without forcing thoughts to the back of my mind; constantly denying any form of curiosity; I could admit that things in life are never simple; that my place in the world was not fixed; I could admit that I had the ability to choose my own path; and most of all, I could build that path myself.

But the one thing that really got me was the acceptance. We weren’t forced to be what we’d always been. We didn’t need to fit roles we’d been given. I had never asked for my family to be murdered, I had never expected, never wanted, and of course never prepared. And now I didn’t have to. I was not expected to be a mourning shameful little creature, a sign of strength and the only symbol of my family‘s heritage. I could be anyone I wanted; I was not the one who had survived; I was not the one who got away; the one who was spared; the one sole survivor. I wasn’t and I didn’t need to be. Nobody wanted me to be different - they accepted me as I was, took me at face value and didn’t judge me by my history.

We hadn’t discussed this, not in detail, but I knew Naruto must feel the same as I did. He must, because wasn’t he born to fit a worse position than even I? Hadn’t he been punished over the years for something he didn’t ask for, for something he didn’t know about? Naruto had not been a ‘sole survivor’ he had been a monster. He had been a demon and a threat. I had been treated kindly, treated with respect and doted upon. I had hated the treatment but I could now admit that it was vastly better than what Naruto had received.

But now he didn’t have to be that kid - the demon kid. He didn’t have to be what everyone expected, what everyone wanted. He was taken for what he was and I knew he must have felt it. Nobody knew our history and nobody could judge us for it. I suspected Mai knew - she probably knew my history too, but I didn’t really mind. She and Naruto were close now and I suspected that was due to Naruto telling her his secrets, probably in return for hers though they would never match ours.

But even if she knew his history, she knew it because of him. He had chosen to tell her, he wanted her to know. It wasn’t forced upon her, it wasn’t already in the back of her mind. Naruto didn’t have to tell her, he could have gone on as it was, with her in ignorance. But because he didn’t want to he didn’t have to. He could choose his own purpose in life, just as I could now. We were truly free. And I could now admit that I liked that.

“So do you plan to ignore me the rest of the night?” I asked him with as little emotion as I could manage.

He didn’t look up from what he was reading, but I saw his eyes stop moving. I had his attention.

“I hope you realise just how petty you’re being.” Again, I received no indication that he was listening except for the fact that he was no longer reading. He turned the page to make it look as though he was still interested in that magazine. I smirked, nothing got past my eyes. He was a fool for thinking he could trick me.

“I know you’re listening. Why can’t you admit your childish ways and put this behind us?”

“My childish ways?!” He exploded, standing up and slamming his hands down on the table. “You’re the one who’d rather go spend the day with that guy instead of your real friends!”

“Who are you to tell me who my friends are? I’m sick of you thinking you dictate my decisions.

“I don’t think that! I don’t think that at all, Sasuke! But he’s a dick! You need to stay away from him!”

“No, I don’t need to do anything, Naruto! You need to control your jealousy!”

“Jealousy! Why the hell would I be jealous of him?! He has nothing I want!”

“No! But maybe you think he’s getting something you want! Isn’t that why you’re so determined to-?!”

“No! That’s not why at all! I just think he’s bad news and-!”

“And nothing Naruto-!”

“Just look what happened last time-!”

“Yeah!” I snapped, “look what happened!”

For a minute or so neither one of us spoke and I felt pride swell in my chest. I’d won, clearly. He had nothing to say to that.

“Naruto, I’m just tired of you being like this-”

“Like what?” I clenched my fists, if he interrupted me one more time.

“Like you own me! I’ve been tolerant and lenient with you because I didn’t want you to feel any unnecessary guilt but I think it’s going to your head!” He stared at me a moment and I wondered if I’d said something wrong. But then he sat down and closed the magazine on the table, staring at his hands with a sullen expression.

“So that’s what it was? You trying to make me feel better?”

I frowned. “Yes.”

“So you’ve just been pretending to be nice.” Well, I didn’t think that was true…it had started that way but…

He gave me no time to speak. “Well then I’m sorry. I guess if that’s the case then I’m in the wrong. It’ll stop.” And with the he got up and crossed the room to the door, I was there before he could leave. I was sure he’d gotten the wrong impression.

“Wait.” I said, but then wasn’t sure what else to say. “It’s not that I’m pretending, I just…wanted you to be comfortable around me again.” I paused and looked at him, but he was staring at the door. “You were being so distant and weird around me and I wanted things back to normal.”

“But not like this?” He said.

“No, not like this…” His face scrunched up and he closed his eyes. “I mean not you telling me what to do all the time. Just that. Everything else is fine.”

This got me the attention I desired and I was finally confronted by large blue eyes. “Just that?” I nodded. “Only that? Everything else’s fine?” I nodded. “So you don’t mind…anything else?” I felt my eyebrow twitch, how many times did he intend to ask me the same question? Again I nodded. This seemed to please him because when he looked away this time he smiled.

“Then…do you…” He stopped and I noticed his face colour slightly. I waited for him to finish but he never did.

“Do I?” I tried to look at his face but he turned away from me.

He snapped back around and I nearly jumped at the suddenness of it. “Do you want to do it again?” He said. Blunt. Just like that.

I stared at him. How could he say it like that? I wanted to retaliate against him for some unknown, angry reason. Because how could he just come out and say it? I wanted to ask him what he meant but knew better than to push the boundaries. We did not need to discuss this.

There would be no discussing this…

　 …  

Hmm…y eah it’s a bit shorter than normal but I wanted to finish it there…

Hope you liked ^.^

Xx..xX