Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Show Me Yours ❯ My Dick ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

A/N: I absolutely adore MediaMiner. End of story.

Playlist: Cartel, All Time Low, Say Anything

Show Me Yours

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My dick is like super size
Your dick look like two fries
My dick- more mass than the Earth
Your dick- half staff, it needs work

Sakura walked out of the Tsunade's office with the widest, happiest grin on her face. Sai, Sasuke, and Naruto stared at her, all three giving her the strangest of looks. She just kept smiling while hiding her arms behind her back. They thought to ask her what she had, but they knew she was about to tell them anyway. The girl was teetering back and forth from her heels to her toes, and a loud squeak erupted from the base of her throat.

"Guess what?"

"What?" they all asked in unison.

The pinkette brought her hands out from behind her back and showed the boys four slips of paper. "These are free passes into the onsen on the edge of Konoha! You know; the really famous one!" she exclaimed. "Tsunade-shishou gave us these because of the work we did on our last mission! Wasn't that nice of her?"

"Oh that's so cool!" Naruto shouted excitedly.

"I suppose that would be...enjoyable." Sai nodded, before glancing over at Sasuke.

The Uchiha shrugged his shoulders. "Hn."

Sakura handed each boy a pass and kept one for herself. "I want to go as soon as possible! I haven't been to an onsen in so long."

"Why not go today?" Naruto questioned. "I hear the baths there are amazing." He said. Sai snorted and laughed rudely. The blonde turned to him and glared. "The fuck are you laughing at?" he questioned, clenching his fist.

"I'm just imagining the disgusted faces of the people who have to see how little your penis is."

Naruto stood up and pointed at Sai angrily. "You haven't seen my penis, you pervert!"

"Yes, because it's microscopically tiny."

"Fuck you!"

"With whose cock?

"Can we not talk about cocks?" Sakura shrieked at them, cracking her knuckles threateningly. Both boys immediately silenced themselves; the two of them had been injured by Sakura multiple times. They knew not to make her angry, unless they wanted her to break their faces. "Listen," the girl took a deep breath. "We are all going to go to this onsen together and we are going toget along. Do I make myself clear?" she asked, making two fists and bringing them up close to Sai's and Naruto's faces.

"Yes, Sakura." They answered simultaneously.

Sasuke just scoffed and shook his head at all of them. "Idiots." He muttered. Sasuke stood up from his seat on the bench and carefully placed the pass in the front pocket of his vest. "What time are we meeting at the gates, Sakura?" he asked her, seeing as how she was the only sensible person on this team. Sasuke preferred to handle this whole situation as an adult, and not yell and argue like the other two idiots he called teammates.

"Well, since it'll take about an hour to get there on foot, we should meet at the gates at four. I'd like to get settled at the Inn before we go to the onsen." She sighed happily. "This is going to be so amazing."

"Four o'clock." Sasuke repeated to himself before pushing past his team mates. Naruto followed him, of course. Sakura and Sai left separately. "What do you want, dobe?" Sasuke asked the blonde who was now walking beside him.

Naruto shrugged. "I didn't want to walk with Sakura because I'd probably say something stupid and she'd hit me," he began. "And I didn't want to walk with Sai because he's such a bitch." Naruto explained. "I don't understand his retarded obsession with my cock."

"He wants you in the pants, obviously." Sasuke concluded. Naruto almost choked on air.

"No he doesn't! Sai isn't gay!"

"Yes he is. He wears a midriff and all he can talk about is your dick. He's absolutely gay for you." He deadpanned.

Shocked, but trying not to show it, Naruto crossed his arms over his chest and huffed. "Yeah, well I'm not gay for him."

"You were gay for me." Sasuke smirked, teasing his blonde partner. Naruto's eye twitched and he gritted his teeth.

"That was one time, bastard. One. And it'll never happen again." He argued. Sasuke kept on smirking and shrugged his shoulders with a smug expression on his face.

"Says you."

It was then that Naruto decided that he didn't want to walk with Sasuke either. He would just walk back to his apartment alone, and away from his perverted, sex-obsessed teammate. Naruto wondered why Sasuke had never let that go. Sure, they'd had sex, but only once! It'd been about two months ago, after of one of their more difficult missions. The both of them had been tired, seriously delirious, and well...things had sort of gotten out of hand. One thing led to another and the two of them were fucking like jackrabbits in the middle of the forest. Not one of Naruto's proudest moments.

And sure, Sasuke was a good fuck, but Naruto wasn't looking for any sort of relationship with the Uchiha. They were best friends and Naruto intended to keep it that way. Their one-night-fling should've been all but forgotten by now.

Truly, Naruto didn't care if Sai was gay. It wasn't like he wanted to have sex with Sai, so who cares if he's gay. But in the words of Uchiha Sasuke, Sai 'wanted Naruto in the pants'. That was a little weird, but whatever. Naruto figured that there was something up ever since Sai had started making cracks at his dick. Naruto knew that he wasn't lacking, but the fact that Sai continuously cracked jokes about it was what made Naruto so mad. Maybe if he shoved his big cock into Sai's stupid mouth, he'd shut up.

"Okay...not a good mental image." The blonde told himself before entering his apartment. He looked at the pass to the onsen and saw that it was a pass for three days. So, their trip would last three days, and Naruto would need a couple changes of clothes. He wasted no time packing his bags and getting things together. He knew that if he was late to the gates, his teammates would have no problem leaving without him.

Naruto, whose wardrobe didn't consist of much, didn't have trouble finding things to pack. A couple shirts, some pants, some boxers, and since Naruto slept in the nude, he wouldn't exactly need any sleeping clothes. Then again, with Sai around, Naruto decided that he'd much rather sleep with something on. Who knows what that pervert would do to Naruto while he was sleeping...Naruto packed a pair of pajama pants, just for good measure.

Since he still had some time to kill, Naruto took a really quick shower, and after he got dressed, he went into his kitchen and fixed himself a cup of instant ramen. Silently, he prayed that the onsen would have decent ramen. He knew that it wouldn't compare to Ichiraku's, but he at least hoped it would be edible.

All of a sudden, while Naruto was stuffing his face, there was a sharp knock at his door. He groaned- who was it, what the hell did they want, and why were they interrupting his meal? The blonde stood up from the table and went to answer the door. Surprisingly, it was Sakura. She was giving him a motherly glare. "It's three forty-five, Naruto. I just had a feeling that you were going to be late." She tapped her foot against the ground. "We're walking together. Get your stuff, and let's go." She ordered. Naruto didn't argue with her.

The blond grabbed his bag and left his apartment with Sakura. "You think the others are there already, Sakura-chan?" he asked the girl. She scoffed and rolled her eyes.

"Of course not," she began. "They're men- males have no concept of time whatsoever. They'll be late."

"It's okay for them to be late and not me!" Naruto exclaimed. Sakura almost laughed.

"You're different. I'm sure you would've fallen asleep and forgotten about the whole thing or something. That's why I came to get you."

Naruto smiled and nudged Sakura with his elbow. "Aw, Sakura-chan, you just wanted to walk with me-" he was cut off completely when Sakura used her elbow to crush Naruto's ribcage.

"Can it, Naruto-baka." She told him. Naruto just grumbled under his breath and ignored the fiery pain in his chest. Sakura was an animal.

Not-so-surprisingly, Sai and Sasuke were both late to the gates. Sakura gave them a piece of her mind as they left the village, but she didn't hit either of them. Well...not until Sai called her ugly...she threw him headfirst into a tree. That'd leave a mark.

It seemed as if team seven couldn't go even five minutes without arguing and fighting with eachother, but then again, that's what made them team seven. After all they'd been through, if they all got along, it would scare people.

The walk to the onsen consisted of the following: arguing, fighting, screaming, and threatening of precious parts. What anyone would expect of them.

"Fuck, Sai! Shut up already! Why the hell are you so obsessed with my dick? Why don't you ever make cracks at Sasuke's dick?"

"Don't bring me into this, dobe."

"I'm sure that Sasuke has a nicely sized dick, that's why. He's not the one who acts like he's compensating for something."

"Oh piss off!" Naruto screamed. "How would you know, huh? You're such a dirty pervert! You're worse than Kakashi!"

There was silence.

"No one is worse than Kakashi." Sakura and Sasuke said in unison.

True.

In order to get to their destination quicker, and not waste anymore time arguing, the four shinobi decided that running would be better than walking. Sakura had suggested this because, truly, she just wanted to get to the onsen and relax. She'd only been to an onsen once in her life, and that'd been years ago, with Kakashi, Naruto, and Sasuke for that matter. They'd all been kids anyway, and trying to get under Kakashi's mask too, for that matter.

Since they'd run, they arrived at the Inn in no time. The sun was just beginning to set, and they wasted no time going into the Inn and checking into their rooms. Sadly, though, their passes only allowed two rooms, not four. It meant that they would have to somehow pair off and share rooms. They were all pissed off, to say the least.

"So...how're we gonna do this?" she asked the boys. "I don't have a problem rooming with either of you but," she glared at Naruto and Sai. "I have a feeling that you two need to be separated."

"So what, then? Are you going to room with Sasuke? Because that's what you wanted anyway, right Sakura?" Sai told her with a fake smile plastered onto his face. She refrained from killing him.

"Naruto, you're rooming with me. Sasuke, I'm sorry, but you're rooming with Sai. Maybe you could kill him in his sleep."

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe."

They all walked through the Inn and up to the second floor where their rooms were located. The rooms they'd been given were located directly across from eachother. Sakura and Naruto went into their room while Sasuke and Sai retreated into theirs.

"Make sure you don't go peeking at me while I'm changing, Sakura-chan." Naruto teased as he stripped off his shirt. He was all too eager to get into the hot springs.

Sakura rolled her eyes and smacked her lips. "Like I haven't seen you before." She told him. "You have a knack for indecent exposure."

Naruto smirked and laughed. "You love it." Sakura turned her nose to the air and walked straight into the bathroom.

"As if." She slammed the door behind her. Naruto shook his head. Women.

The blonde proceeded to take off all of his clothes. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around his waist before Sakura could come out and accuse him of 'indecent exposure'. When the pinkette came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around her frame, Naruto whistled at her, and she punched him in the face, sending him crashing into the wall on the opposite side of the room.

Of course, Naruto recovered fast, and he ran down the hallway to catch up to Sakura, who'd totally left him. She told him that if he ever whistled at her again, she would rip off his balls and feed them to him. Naruto vowed to never whistle within five yards of Sakura.

The two of them came to a stop at the hot springs when they saw the entrances that read "Men" and "Women". Naruto groaned. "I have to be alone with Sasuke-bastard and fucking Sai. Great." He grumbled, obviously annoyed. Sakura shrugged her shoulders and smiled.

"Try to have a nice time." She told him. With that said, she was gone, disappearing into her own side. Naruto grudgingly went into the men's entrance. Before getting into the hot springs, of course, he went to the baths to wash off any trace of dirt or anything else. After he'd done that, he made his way to the hot springs. Thankfully, there was no one else inside, so Naruto removed his towel and eased into the hot water. It was absolutely heavenly.

But as soon as Naruto had started to relax, he heard the sound of footsteps coming close. Through the smoke and fog he saw a figure walking towards him and when he saw who it was, he wanted to drown himself in the hot water. The male sat down in the water next to Naruto. "Where's Sasuke?" Naruto asked.

"He didn't feel like coming down." Sai answered. "What? Were you looking forward to seeing him naked or something?" he asked, teasingly. Naruto grit his teeth and inhaled through his nose.

"Nope," he ground out. "Were you?"

Sai shrugged his shoulders. "I've already seen him naked."

"WHAT?" Naruto yelled, immediately slapping his hand over his mouth. He didn't want to disturb anyone on the other side of the hot spring. He stared at Sai in awe and repeated his outburst in a quieter voice. "What?"

"He didn't tell you?" Sai asked, pretending to be surprised. "Few weeks ago, we fucked." He smiled. "And I know that his dick is bigger than yours."

Ugh, Sasuke was such a man-whore.

Naruto nearly reached over and strangled Sai. But, he took a deep breath, kept calm, and placed his arms behind his head while he leaned back. "You've never seen my dick." He stated in the calmest voice he could muster. Naruto closed his eyes and awaited the perverted, annoying comment that was about to come out of Sai's mouth.

"No, I guess I haven't," he shrugged. "I suppose you'd have to show me, then."

...What?

Naruto's eyes snapped open. Had he just heard Sai correctly? Suddenly, Sasuke's words echoed in his mind.

"He wants you in the pants, obviously."

The blonde calmly turned to Sai and stared at him. "You want to see my dick?" he asked, trying to keep a straight face.

"...If there's anything there to see."

"Maybe I should shove my cock down your throat and you'd shut up for once in your life."

"I suppose that would shut me up." Sai smirked, slowly moving closer to his team mate. "So, show me."

Naruto crossed his arms over his chest. "And then what?" he questioned. The blonde watched a slow, lustful smile slide over Sai's face before he answered him.

"You'll see."

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