Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ The Amorous Adventures of Ayame the Ramen Girl ❯ Transformation Trouble ( Chapter 9 )

PART 4

 

Chapter 9: Transformation Trouble

On another sunny afternoon in Konoha, Umino Iruka walked absent-mindedly from the Academy building, unaware of another dark cloud on the horizon. He was thinking seriously about his relationship with the ramen girl, right on the precipice of asking her to marry him. Iruka was now 99 percent sure that he loved Ayame and that she was the only one for him. But that single percentage point kept him from taking the leap. If only it were socially acceptable for a woman to make the proposal. But that would make him look like a wimp. He was supposed to be the fearless, strong shinobi, whose duty was to protect the civilians. How would it look if he weren't the one who proposed?

The cautious young man also thought about Ayame's feelings. Used to being analytical and teaching the physics of weaponry at the Academy, he tried to quantitate not only his love for her, but hers for him. He felt that she loved him about 95 percent though sometimes while cuddling in bed, he would increase that figure to about 98 percent, but it wasn't the 100 percent that he required.

That 2-5 percent, though he tried to deny it and ignore it, was still because of Kakashi. He had seen Ayame leave Kakashi's apartment building that time when Iruka sought to visit the gray haired jounin. Though it was over a month ago, it stuck in his mind and he wondered exactly why she was there. She had not mentioned it at all and he was too afraid to ask.

“Hey hey Iruka sensei!” Naruto called out after his pensive sensei, who walked right by him without saying hello.

“Huh? Oh, it's you, Naruto, hi.”

“That's probably the crappiest hello you've ever given me!” the blonde genin complained, not realizing that something was wrong with the usually chipper chuunin.

“Sorry, I just have something on my mind. Actually, do you have a minute?” Iruka asked distractedly.

“Sure, what's up? How about we talk about it over ramen, your treat?” Naruto suggested hopefully.

“No, no ramen.”

“What? Why not?!” Naruto asked in a panic.

“I need to talk about Ayame.”

“Ayame?”

“The ramen girl!”

“Oh, yeah, so how's that going? I thought you guys were getting along great. Hey, you're not thinking about Kakashi sensei again are you?” Naruto asked, thinking of the rumor from a month ago that implied Iruka had a crush on Kakashi.

“What the hell are you saying? No! This has nothing to do with Kakashi! Wait…it does, but it's not what you think!” responded Iruka defensively, blushing a deep shade of red.

“Uh, huh.” The boy gave Iruka a doubtful look.

“Look, I'm think about proposing to Ayame…”

“Proposing? Proposing what? Like a new menu item? I think twice cooked shredded pork would make a great ramen topping and…” Naruto interrupted, thinking desperately of lunch.

“No! I meant proposing marriage. Just be quiet and let me finish.”

Naruto shrugged and finally stopped interrupting.

“I've been thinking of asking her to marry me, but I can't help but think that deep down she still prefers Kakashi. I mean, I'm about 95 to 98 percent sure about us but I'd like to be 100 percent sure that she doesn't want Kakashi anymore.”

“So what? Who cares about the math? You're not like teaching a class or something. Kakashi sensei isn't interested in her,” Naruto pointed out.

“Not now but what if he changes his mind?”

“I doubt it. He's got his books to keep him happy, right? But…hey I've got a great idea!”

Iruka should have known better. He should have turned around right then and there and escaped from Naruto's annoying screechy voice. After all, Naruto's great ideas usually led to trouble.

-…-…-…-…-

“Okay, I'll transform to Kakashi-sensei and then hit on the ramen girl. You watch from here,” said Naruto. He and his favorite sensei hid behind a tree in order to observe the ramen stand.

“Wait, you don't have to do this. I can do this myself.” Iruka started to have serious reservations about Naruto's plan.

“Do you really think you can keep your cool if she shows she still likes Kakashi-sensei?”

“Well…no I guess not. But here, wear the radio transmitter so I can listen in.”

“I'll give you a full report. What's the matter? Don't you trust me?”

“No…I mean I do, but I want to hear it for myself. I don't want any misinterpretations,” Iruka said, thinking of how Naruto screwed things up the first time by telling him Ayame liked him when she really liked Kakashi.

“Fine, I'll wear the transmitter. I can't believe you don't trust me after all this time!”

“And by the way, no touching!” Iruka warned.

Naruto attached the transmitter to the inside collar of his orange jacket, then transformed into Kakashi, complete with the little red book in hand. Iruka watched from behind the tree as Naruto approached the ramen stand, and fidgeted with the radio receiver in his ear. He heard Naruto mutter something about Iruka-sensei owing him ten bowls of ramen for this effort.

It was already mid-afternoon when Naruto-Kakashi sauntered over to Ichiraku. There were no customers around so he was free to say and do whatever he planned. “Hello there Ayame-chan,” Naruto-Kakashi said smoothly in Kakashi's low luscious lulling voice.

“Good afternoon Kakashi sensei!” Ayame greeted him brightly.

“I see you're not busy right now, mind if I keep you company?”

“Oh please do!”

“You're looking quite beautiful today, as always of course,” said Naruto-Kakashi using lines Iruka had suggested.

“And so do you!”

“Me? That's very sweet of you.” Naruto-Kakashi walked behind the counter and up to the ramen girl.

“Would you like something to drink? I have some sake here. It's the cheap stuff but it'll still give you a buzz,” she offered with a smile and a wink.

“Sake? At this time of day? No I don't think so,” Naruto-Kakashi responded while thinking, `I didn't realize she's a lush like old lady Tsunade!'

“Come on! What are you afraid of? `Fraid someone might see you without your mask? What's the big deal? Let's have a look.”

Ayame came really, really close to Naruto-Kakashi, so close he could smell the alcohol on her breath. “Hey, how about we go to the back and…work on your noodle,” she said seductively.

“Huh?” Naruto-Kakashi did not understand the double entendre of noodle terminology, but it seemed like something inappropriate. “Where's your father? What about the customers?” he asked in desperation.

“Who cares? It's just you and me and a kage bunshin will make three…” Ayame said in a low husky voice much unlike her usual girlie one.

Iruka, who had been listening in, was horrified! `What the hell?! Naruto didn't make a move on her and she's already all over him!'

“Well…er…thanks for the offer but what about Iruka-sensei?”

“Iruka who?” she blinked her rather bloodshot eyes in confusion.

“Your boyfriend!”

“Him? That loser? He's just a chuunin. I want a real man and only jounin qualify!”

“That's a terrible thing to say! He really loves you!”

“Whatever, why talk about him? We should talk about us, or rather, forget the talking,” Ayame said as she reached out toward Naruto-Kakashi. He expected her to go for the mask, but she suddenly switched gears and went for the lower region. Naruto-Kakashi almost lost his concentration and transformation and knew it was time to get out of there, fast. He had seen enough and poor Iruka-sensei had probably heard way too much.

“S…sorry…gotta go!” Naruto-Kakashi said as he quickly turned, concentrated chakra to his feet, and ran off.

“Damn! He got away again!” muttered Ayame crossly.

-…-…-…-

Iruka was shocked, more than shocked, he was near catatonic when Naruto returned.

“Sorry Iruka-sensei, but it's better to know now, isn't it?” his little friend said sympathetically.

“I…I wish I never knew,” Iruka managed to say. He was near tears but resolved not to cry again in front of Naruto (the first time, in the incident involving Mizuki, was embarrassing enough), yet his eyes were red and the edges were wet. “I guess this is it. I finally know the truth. So that's what she really thinks of me, a loser,” he sighed sadly.

“You're not a loser! You're the greatest guy I know! I'm sure any woman would want you!” Naruto said encouragingly. `What is wrong with that ramen girl?' Naruto thought angrily to himself. `What woman in her right mind would prefer Kakashi-sensei to Iruka-sensei? I just don't get it. It's like Sakura and Sasuke. He treats her like crap and she still wants him. Hmm…maybe that's it.'

“Apparently not,” Iruka replied. “I mean, for her to call me a loser - she's just a ramen waitress!”

“That's right, you could do better!” Naruto readily agreed.

“Yeah, you're right!” Iruka started to feel a bit better, but then thought, `To be dissed by someone as lowly as a ramen waitress…that's just too much to bear.'

“Go for one of the kunoichi sensei.” Naruto suggested.

“I should, shouldn't I? We'd have a lot more in common.”

“That's right! There's Suzume-sensei, Kurenai-sensei, Anko-sensei, and even old lady Tsunade…”

“But they're all such bitches!”

“Well, yeah, that's true, but…Shizune nee-chan is really nice!”

“You're right, she is. Hmm, I should consider her.” But then Iruka thought how Shizune was a jounin and he was just a lowly chuunin. How would it look to have a wife who could kick his ass? And who made more money and…

Then Naruto added, “But you should know, I've been hearing rumors about her, so forget all that, I have a better idea! The reason why that ramen girl wants Kakashi-sensei is because he doesn't want her!”

At first, Iruka was about to scoff at that idea, but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense. After all, he had dumped Ayame twice already and each time she wanted him back more badly than before. Maybe what she really wanted was a guy who didn't want her. That made sense in a bizarre twisted way. But he didn't want someone that contrary or crazy. “If she wants Kakashi more than she wants me, then just forget it,” he said resignedly.

“You're not going to fight for her?”

“I'm tired of having all these doubts. Now that they've been confirmed, what's the point? I mind as well save face and save myself some heartache,” Iruka said, but he added to himself, `And some money. All those flowers and non-ramen dinners really eat into a chuunin's savings!' He sighed again and said, “I just want someone who just wants me.” `And who doesn't know Kakashi exists!'

“So you're gonna dump her again?”

“I'm going to end our relationship equitably.”

“But she might want you more after that.”

“It'll be final. Final. Absolutely final!” Iruka resolved.

-…-…-…-

Hours later, after Iruka had plenty of time to angst about his life, he dropped by the ramen stand near closing time. Ayame smiled broadly and waved to him as he approached, but he just nodded mutely and stood by the counter, eyeing her coldly.

“What's the matter Iruka?” she asked, concerned.

“It's over,” he said, turning his head, refusing to look at her.

“What's over?”

“We are.”

“What are you talking about?” She double blinked in confusion.

“Our relationship, which was built on lies to start with, is over, absolutely final,” Iruka said while meeting her beautiful soft brown eyes. He had spoken more bitterly than he had originally intended.

“Huh? What the hell? Why? Again?” she asked in disbelief. Things were going very well since that time when Iruka thought he was in love with Kakashi. That was over a month ago, and since then, they had been very close. So close, she was sure he was about to advance to the next stage.

“You know why. Why don't you just hook up with Kakashi again. He's the one you really want!” Iruka accused angrily. He had resolved to maintain his composure, but for some reason, just looking at her confused, guileless face made him really angry. That such an innocent face was capable of such deception…it was unforgivable!

“That again? Why are you so obsessed with him?” she asked in annoyance. “You're the one who obsesses about him! Not me! You're the one who brings him up all the time! You're the one who wants him! If you're playing me, if you've really decided this is over, this better be the last over! I'm not taking you back after you dumped me three times! I have some dignity! No backsies!” Ayame shouted.

“Backsies? What adult talks like that?” Iruka said rather cruelly.

“So you're making fun of my intelligence now? I'm just a dumb civilian, right? Not a smart classy kunoichi? Don't think a poor ramen waitress is good enough for you? Well, take this!” Ayame dumped the remnants of a ramen bowl over Iruka's head. She ran off to the back room crying loudly.

Her father came out from the back to see what the hell was going on this time between his daughter and her suitor. One look at Iruka's guilty face, and the bowl on his head, told him everything. “You dumped her again didn't you?” he accused.

Iruka nodded mutely and blushed in shame over his poor treatment of Ayame. The soup dripped into his eyes, but he ignored the discomfort and made no move to clean himself up. Breaking up this time was much, much harder.

“A bad relationship is like a bowl of cold leftover ramen. Sometimes it's better off in the trash. But you know, I really thought you were a good guy. Good enough for my daughter. Guess I was wrong. You know, she may not be the fanciest of toppings, but she really loves you. Don't show your face around here again, unless you want something with extra legs in your ramen,” her father threatened.

Poor Iruka gave him a slight nod of acknowledgement before he returned to his empty apartment to wash off all the ramen.

-…-…-…-