Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ The Butterfly ❯ Beware the Answers to your Questions ( Chapter 15 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

A/N: Well…I'm not really sure how I feel about this chapter (suiting because none of the characters in it seem to know how they feel either but that's beside the point) It feels a bit awkward and a bit rushed to me…maybe I was just distracted while writing. I dunno…

Anyways, thank you again to everyone who has been reading and reviewing me, I really appreciate it. Please keep it up, I really would love some feedback on this one.

Oh a weird coincidence maybe but while I was writing, a reviewer suggested I do exactly what I was doing…it was a little odd…hmm *shrug*

~~~

The Butterfly: Chapter 15

By: Tea Leaf

~~~

He considered removing the sign on the door as they entered but decided against it. With any luck, people might take the hint this way.

He stepped into the dark hallway and she followed him in, making her way towards the stairs.

He went into the kitchen.

He stared at the contents of the fridge. He was stalling. He closed the door and looked up, she was leaning against the doorjamb. Wearing a black spaghetti strapped scrap of cloth that barely reached her thighs. He blinked at her.

She lifted an eyebrow.

He went over to the table, intending to sit down. Couldn't. But she was blocking the door and preventing him from leaving.

He stood in front of the window.

She frowned at his back.

"What's wrong?" she asked him.

He frowned at the window. It wasn't that something was wrong, it was…he sighed.

"I think we need to talk." He said eventually.

She closed her eyes briefly.

{Damn…}

She sat down at the table.

"So talk" she said.

"I don't know what to say." He answered honestly.

She nodded.

"About last night?" she questioned.

He didn't respond.

She took that as a yes. And bit her lip as she tried to collect her words.

"Look…about the sleeping thing…I just…I can't sleep by myself. And I'm sorry if I gave you any kind of misconceptions but I really needed sleep…" she said awkwardly.

He turned to look at her.

"How do you know that you need someone else there to be able to sleep?" he asked her. He didn't look angry or offended but she got the feeling that her answer would be important to him.

"Because the last time I was able to sleep properly there was someone else there and I haven't been able to sleep properly on every night I've been alone." She answered as she frowned in confusion.

What was he getting at?

"How did you start sleeping with other people?" he asked, still watching her, still calm and still she felt uneasy.

"I used to get really bad nightmares…" she started, she didn't want to talk about this with him, he wouldn't understand.

He sat down across from her, still watching her intently.

"Why does it matter?" she asked then, starting to get frustrated.

He held her gaze for a long moment then looked away.

"It doesn't really, I suppose." He responded evenly.

She debated on pursuing the matter, she decided she really didn't want to know why he was lying to her. She'd allow him his secrets as long as he allowed her hers.

"Why do you need another person?" he asked quietly, still not looking at her.

She looked away as well.

"I don't like being alone." She answered softly.

"Why not, what's wrong with being alone?" he asked her then as he turned to look at her again.

"Why are you asking me these questions?" she asked back as she met his eyes.

He frowned slightly, and his eyes dropped.

"I'm just…I don't know you anymore." He said finally.

She raised a hand to rub her temples as empathy stole into her. She sighed and looked out the window.

"I'm…I'm just not the type of person who copes well with being alone. It makes me feel isolated…and I just…I don't like it." She answered awkwardly.

He nodded and the silence stretched again.

"I'm sorry I never visited you in the hospital back then." He said eventually.

She frowned at the comment and looked at him questioningly. He didn't look at her.

"I forgive you." She answered.

He stood then and she did as well and they left the room.

"What are you wearing?" he asked eventually, a perplexed half smile on his lips.

"Its called a nightie." She answered with a tinge of sarcasm. "It's the next best thing to sleeping naked."

"You sleep naked?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Normally but I didn't think you would really go for that." She said innocently as she walked ahead of him to the bedroom.

~~~

Sakura sat stiffly on the examination table. She'd hated needles ever since she had seen the damage they had done to Sasuke all those years ago after the battle with Haku.

True, those had been acupuncture needles, but still. A needle was a needle. And now there was one jammed into the vein in her left elbow and sucking out her blood.

But what really churned her stomach about the affair was that poor little Mika was in the room next door suffering the same fate.

So she gritted her teeth as the bag filled. Though she still wasn't sure what Tsunade intended to do to her blood.

~~~

Tsunade frowned over the report Shikamaru and Ino had written for her.

According to their research, the butterfly poison didn't affect Sakura because of some anomaly in her blood. It was an anomaly that the butterflies responded to on a primitive level, which was why they were so protective and possessive of her.

Now Tsunade had two other cases where the poison had not proven fatal.

In the case of Mika, the gypsy tribe survivor, it was unclear whether or not she was immune to the butterfly poison and Tsunade had no intention of testing it. So she assumed that the little girl had. If she had, logically that meant she had the same anomaly Sakura had.

Then there was Kakashi who had obviously come into contact with the poison; it was found in a heavily diluted form all over his skin. So when you touched him, your skin didn't burn but it definitely felt warm. But then he was in this catatonic state.

Theoretically she would find a prominent anomaly in the samples provided by Sakura and Mika and find traces of a similar anomaly in the blood sample she had taken from Kakashi.

If it worked out that way, she hoped to derive a cure for the poison from Sakura's blood

What she couldn't explain though was the pattern that flared on Kakashi's skin every time Sakura touched him. She had experimented with Mika, having the little girl touch his hand, but nothing had happened. It either meant that Mika didn't have the anomaly or there was something specific about Sakura or she and Kakashi's past interaction that triggered it.

~~~

She felt light headed. But losing a liter of blood did tend to do that to people.

Gaara had offered to stay with her but she had wanted to visit with her old sensei for a bit. So Gaara and the sleeping Mika (she had been knocked out when she had started to freak out over the needle) had left, leaving her alone with him.

She sighed as she looked at him. She supposed most people thought he looked like he was asleep. His facial muscles were slack; his expression was calm.

She knew for a fact that he did not look like that when he was asleep. He always smiled in his sleep. His skin always flushed slightly.

She thought he looked like a corpse and that frightened her. She didn't want to believe that this cold, pale, expressionless body could be that same person she had known. The man she'd known had always had some secret passion driving his every movement.

She'd loved that about him, he'd always had enough passion to drive her movements as well.

She'd fallen into a funk after he'd disappeared. It had been like her emotions had been completely drained out of her, leaving her hollow.

All she could do was sit at the bridge and wait.

She must have been so pathetic; she had certainly felt pathetic. But she simply hadn't had the ability to do anything more. She'd never been any good at moving with her own momentum.

It had taken her until last month before she had been able to move on. And wasn't it perfect? She'd finally tried to move on from everything and everything had just come right back to the surface, holding her back once again.

She'd never thought that she would ever believe that Sasuke and Kakashi were holding her back from anything.

But what was she thinking? What were they holding her back from? Nothing, that's what. There simply was nothing else for her.

She pulled her knees up to her chin, resting her feet on her chair as her cheek rested on her knees.

She'd been happy with Kakashi. They'd had a good life. She'd almost been able to forget…she was sure she could have forgotten had he stayed with her.

But he had left and had left her behind. Just like Sasuke. Just like Naruto. Just like Ino. She was always left behind, trailing in the dust.

That's what she liked about Gaara. He was never in a hurry. He didn't really have anywhere to go either. He intentionally walked behind and he would always slow his pace so that she could keep up.

But now Kakashi had come to a standstill as well but this one hadn't been of his freed will.

"I'm stuck here"

It was her fault he was stuck here. It was her job to fix it. But how?

She continued to watch his calm face. He continued to stay still.

~~~

He was distracted. Very distracted. So distracted that Neji was going easy on him and he was still getting hit.

Finally Neji simply stopped all together.

"You're making for a very lousy sparring partner today." The Hyuuga member said emotionlessly.

"I know." He muttered dejectedly as he rubbed a pressure point Neji had hit in his chest.

Neji sighed in annoyance.

"To be continued then." He responded as he left.

Sasuke collapsed unto the long grass and stared up at the sky.

A small white butterfly landed on his nose. He stared cross-eyed at it.

This was the type of butterfly Sakura should be.

Small, perfect, innocent, pure, beautiful. That was how he'd always seen her.

{hmph, how could you have seen her when you never looked at her?} his conscience commented snidely.

He glared at the thought and the butterfly took off, flying away from him.

{And there goes your ideal}

He continued to glare and ignored the voice.

{Admit it, you're preoccupied with that ideal. I kept telling you to look at her. I kept telling you to see the real her. There's a reason I'm your conscience, its because I'm right. That's why you're supposed to listen to me}

He sighed.

"Stupid conscience…" he muttered.

But it was right.

He growled in frustration at himself. He was just so damn confused. He felt like he'd been left out of the loop of something important.

He didn't understand her. He didn't understand why it was important to him that he understand her.

He didn't know…he just didn't know…

He had to ask her.

~~~

Sakura sat on the couch in the living room, watching the sunset through the window. She was feeling numb again. She didn't like feeling numb.

She heard the door open and a few moments later Sasuke sat down on the couch beside her.

"How did you become accustomed to sleeping with other people?" he asked bluntly.

She sighed and closed her eyes. She didn't want to talk about this, not with him.

"Why does it matter?" she asked.

"I don't know, it just does." He answered her.

Her eyes snapped open and narrowed at him.

"I used to get really bad nightmares. When I was with someone else, I didn't get them. So I simply stayed with someone else all the time." She answered in an annoyed tone.

"Who?" he asked her then.

"None of your business." She snapped.

"Sakura, please tell me." He said softly as he looked at her.

"Don't do this." She answered as she looked away from him.

"Don't do what?" he asked frowning slightly.

"Ask questions to which you don't want to hear the answer." She answered softly.

"I do want the answers."

She sighed.

"Kakashi…the nightmares started after that fight…and Kakashi would comfort me…he kept me safe from them." She answered as she pulled her knees up to her chin and wrapped her arms around them.

"Yesterday you said you normally slept naked." He said then, his eyes narrowing.

"I do." She said as she closed her eyes and leaned her forehead into her knees.

"Why?" he asked brutally.

"Kakashi-sensei…Kakashi didn't like it when I would cut myself so I promised to stop…but then…then…and I…I just couldn't take it…I needed…I needed something to make me feel human…he was the only one who wasn't afraid to touch me…" she whispered brokenly as her hair fell and hid her face.

Sasuke sat back and clenched his teeth together. She was right; he hadn't wanted to know that. He stood up and calmly walked away from her. He went up the stairs and into his room and closed the door softly behind him. He got into bed and stared at the ceiling. His mind seemed to have gone numb…he simply couldn't process what she had and what she hadn't told him.

He heard the front door open and close. He remained and stared at the ceiling.

~~~

M/A/N (more author notes): Well, a good number of reviewers have suggested to me to get beta readers to keep track of conventions, etc. I really don't know. I have nothing against beta readers, I think they're great and really useful but as you all know, I write rather quickly and so getting beta readers for this particular story would slow down the updates but would improve the quality. And so I'm tossing it out there, if you think I should get beta readers for this story, let me know. If you would like to be one of the beta readers (which would commit you to about 2 chapters a day) once again, please let me know.

Alright, that's all for now. Please let me know how you feel about this chapter because I feel that there's something off about it but I just don't know what or how to fix it (I suppose now would be one of those moments where I really need a beta reader, eh?) So please review and I'll see you guys tomorrow.