Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ The Fox and The Phoenix ❯ Vandalism ( Chapter 13 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

The Fox and The Phoenix
(Sono Kitsune Oyobi Sono Fenikusu)

Key

S.S = Sick Shit (is more than likely NC-17 and etc.)

*thinking*

"talking"

*thoughts progressing into speech"

'substitute for italics' (Kyuubi or Soriyu at times)

//telepathy//

::scene change:: (more for my reference than anything else)

~POV~
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Summary: Naruto's 6 years old, his caretaker, Iruka, was killed by bandits, and he was left orphaned. Well, until a mysterious wanderer appeared...


A/n: Lemme see...well, someone thought that they'd be attacked by hunter-nins since they have two missing-nins with them, so I'll explain it, but I don't think I plan on going into the fight details. In all honesty, I hated the last chappie, only b/c I don't like doing flashbacks really, but this makes up for it in it's entirety! Oh yeah, reviewers! Kudos you all, especially my frequenters, you know who you are I hope! Rock on guys, you rule!

Sadly, this is another filler chappie, not so much in the way of flashbacks, I just want him to meet a few people that I'll probably wanna use in the upcoming chapters. Oh yeah, and since I don't feel like going through the sequence, he already knows Kage Bunshin.


Chapter Thirteen: Vandalism


~Author~


::On the Road to Konoha::


Well, to put it bluntly, they were pissed. More like, Sasuke was slightly angry, the two jinchurikki were fuming, Haku was indifferent, Zabuza was ready to maim something, and Sakura/Inner Sakura was bitching again.


"I can't believe this! Fifteen hunter nin attacks in two hours! Are you guys really that evil?!" she asks, directing her question towards the two missing Kiri-nin. Haku shrugs and Zabuza glares. "Ugh!"


She throws her hands up in surrender, frowning and muttering. Sanziya soons gets annoyed at this and yells at her to shut up, before she 'makes' her shut up.


"Everyone's just as agitated as you are, but we're getting more agitated from your endless ranting! So be quiet goddamnit!" she yells, two veins throbbing on the side of her forehead as she eyes the girl with a glare of enough intensity to rival an Uchiha Death Glare ™. Sakura wisely shuts up.


Haku is poking carrots into his bag and cooing at some unseen thing.


"Aren't you cute? Yes you are! Who's the best pet in the world? You are!"


Naruto tries to peep over the boy's shoulder into the bag.


"What're you talking to Haku?"


A fluffy white head with two long ears pops out of the bag, carrot between it's paws.


"AIEEE! THEY'VE COME TO TAKE OVER!" the blonde screams, jumping onto Sasuke's head like a cat.


Haku looks at the innocent looking bunny in his bag, then to Naruto, and back again.


"What'd you do Mini Zaza?"


The bunny continues to munch it's carrot, a bunny like smirk appearing on it's face.


::Konoha Gates::


After about ten more attacks, a mishap with a duck as well as a deer, Sanziya putting a silencing jutsu on Sakura so she wouldn't be forced to decapitate the girl, and promises that 'Fuzzy Evil Bunnies' weren't coming to take over the world to get Naruto off Sasuke's head. They finally arrived back at Konoha.


"Halt! State your name, business, and country of origin." a guard yells down from the watchtower.


"So much fuzz..." Naruto murmurs, still looking suspiciously at Haku's bag where a Mini Zaza lie balled into cutesy fluff sleeping. Sanziya, however, glares up into the tower.


"It's me you shitheads, we just came back from a mission, we're tired, hungry, and irritable! We have two other people with us now, and need to see Sarutobi-sama! Now let us in before I make good on that threat from six years ago!"


The guards whisper among themselves, almost frightenedly, and the gates slowly roll open.


::Hokage Tower::


After much hassle, and one of the guards 'insisting' that they should let him escort him, they get to the Tower, greeting Sarutobi.


"Right, Team Leader, report please." he says, folding his hands and waiting for Sanziya to begin. The woman goes through the entire mission, leaving out nothing, and telling exactly why two missing Kiri-nin were with them as well as if he would allow them citizenship into Konoha.


Sarutobi looks to Sanziya, still seeing the disraught woman who appeared secretly before him almost three months after the Kyuubi attacks as he sighs, taking out two papers and stamping them in red.


"Here, you are both on a year's long probation however, so tread carefully. You are both in your respective rankings. (Jounin and Genin.) No active missions until your probation is alleiviated." he hands them both to Haku since Zabuza can't hold his. "Let's just hope that the Mist won't accuse us of betrayal."


Sanziya nods, prepared to defend her friends, (and the ungrateful village as a whole) if it came to that.


"Where will they stay? Have you given thought to that Sanziya?" Sarutobi asks, blowing out smoke from his pipe and smiling.


Sanziya nods.


"They shall stay with Naruto and myself, we have more than enough room." she replies, turning to go down and get their team's payment, when Sarutobi stops her. She sighs, ready to listen to foreboding news by the tone in the old man's voice.


He folds his hands, looking at them all grimly. Sakura grabs onto a stoic Sasuke's shirt in fear, Naruto clenches his fists, and the two Kiri-nin don't dare break the tense silence.


"Hatake Kakashi went to spy on Otokagure on behalf of Konohagakure no Sato, and didn't return for three days, but when he finally did...it was in a body bag. It is now confirmed that Orochimaru captured him, tortured him for information, and when he got none, removed his Sharingan eye." he tells them all, closing his eyes as he removes his pipe and blows out a long stream of smoke. Sanziya growls at this new information, throughly pissed at Orochimaru and his sick minded ways, and saddened for Kakashi. "It is for this reason, that Sanziya shall be designated as your permanent Jounin sensei from now on. Kakashi's furneral shall be held 2 days from now, and his name carved on the memorial stone. "


The genin of Team Seven nod, stiffly following the two jounin and Haku as they exit the room.


They come out of the tower a few minutes later, Sasuke and Sakura sweatdropping as Naruto rubs his cheek against a bulging frog purse.


"You're so kawaii(cute) when you're this fat Gama-chan!" he exclaims, bidding the raven haired boy and pink haired girl a goodbye as they go off towards their respective homes.


~Naruto~


::Sanzi and Naru's House, 12:00pm::


Okay, this wasn't as bad as most things done to us in this past.


*I'm not going to get angry, I'm not going to get angry, I'm not going to get angry.*


It was like a mantra in my head as we walked through some rooms of the house, red paint or maybe blood splashed across the walls, and hateful messsages scrawled in red as well.


'Demon.'


'Whore.'


'Go back to hell!'


'Get out of our village!'


Those were just some of the insults across the walls, all our furniture was smashed to pieces, Kaa-san's clothes...well...more like ashes now I suppose, were drifting in the closet. The beds were smashed, and the futons had their stuffing torn out of them. I wasn't going to go in my own room until later, but I could only imagine the damage. The kitchen was trashed, all our ramen was crushed to bits on the floor, as well as our other food. Windows were broken, glass littered the floor, but the most hurtful message was painted solely on the ceiling of the hallway.


'They got you first, but this time 'we'll' get you, we'll hide you, and we'll kill you.'


I looked away.


~Sanziya~


What could I do? Nothing, I didn't have as much power as I thought I did anymore. Maybe it was the stress of the mission, or maybe seeing Naruto deflate like that, I don't know, I just didn't have anymore energy to be pissed. I go over to the broom closet in the very back of our pantry, luckily it was painted over to look like the wall so they didn't know it was there, and take out cleaning supplies, mops and buckets.


"Come on guys, we have a lot to clean up." I say with a bright smile, masking the hurt I felt inside.


~Haku~


Who would do something like this? Was there hatred so severe that they would go so far as to threaten our friends? And what did that message on the ceiling mean?


I shake my head in mild confusion as I accept a bucket of soapy lye water and a green sponge from nee-chan, starting to scrub away at the walls.


*Can't this villagers see the truth? Naruto-kun and Sanzi nee-chan may contain demons, but they aren't demons themselves.*


~Zabuza~


It irked me to see Sanzi act like nothing was wrong, she was good at hiding her emotions when she really tried, and this was one of those times. I asked her what I could do, despite having two broken arms of course, and she eyed me with a look that said exactly what I thought a moment ago.


"Zabu? Well, I suppose if you really want to do something I'll give you a broom to sweep away the glass and dirt, although I fail to see how you'll accomplish that." she tells me, smiling wryly.


I get the broom from her.


"Haha, very funny Sanzi. I'm a ninja, we adapt."


::10 minutes later::


Okay, this wasn't going well. It was damn near impossible to sweep while holding the broom in your mouth and the dustpan with your foot. What a pain in the ass, not to mention everytime I dropped the broom I could hear quiet snickers from everyone in the room at the moment, even Haku was laughing at me, his idol! The little twerp...what was the world coming to?


~Author~


Well it was now three o'clock, and three of the four nin were tuckered out, they had scoured every bit of the house except Naruto's room, the boy saying that he'd get that himself once he'd finished cleaning all the guest rooms so Haku and Zabuza could have places to sleep.


True to his word, as soon as he was done, he went to his own room. Upon sliding opening the door, he is pleasantly shocked to see that it is as he left it. Well mostly, his clothes were most likely in that pile of ashes with Sanziya's, but everything else was fine. He let his eyes roam the expanse of the room. Walls not defiled? Check. Nothing on ceiling? Check.


Door to bathroom broken in two on floor? Check.


Okay, so they had gotten some damage in, it had to have been getting morning by the time they got down here presumably. He steps over the remnants of the door, going into an untainted bathroom.


"Well this is odd, they haven't done anything except break down the door." he says, looking around as Kyuubi forms her spirit like form to look around as well. She gasps at what she sees, having formed where she was behind Naruto. "What's wrong Kyuu-san?"


"Nothing, just...just don't turn around, go back out, and go take a nap or something." she tells him shakily.


He's confused, but listens to her. It turned out everyone else was in thier respective rooms sleeping as well, so after a good two hour long nap, the four go up to go do more shopping for their house.


::Konoha streets::


"And they didn't destroy anything but the bathroom door?" Haku asks, puzzled. Maybe the villagers had something planned?


"That's it, and my clothes, everything else was intact. It's weird, I went in there and was looking around, but before I could finish K-san got all shaky and told me to get out."


Haku nods in agreement with the blonde, pondering what could possibly be in there that Kyuubi didn't want the blonde to see as the two go into a clothing store. It was decided that they would do the clothes shopping for the group, each knew what they wanted as well as what their older guardians wanted as well.


"Let's see, 10 oddly colored shirts? Check. 10 oddly colored pairs of pants? Check." Naruto continues to read down the list. "Undergarments?!"


The people in the shop glare at the boy for such an outburst, as if he wasn't red 'enough' from embarrassment.


"Heh-heh, sorry." he apologizes, face burning as he picks out bras and panties for Sanziya. Haku grins, trying to stifle his laughter as he picks up things for Zabuza and himself. As they go up to the counter, they look at each others purchases.


"What's with all the dresses Haku?" Naruto asks, raising an eyebrow. Haku retorts back by asking what happened to his multicoloredness. He frowns, pouting. "K-san wouldn't let me get anything red or green for myself. She made me get blue and black outfits and two cloaks, a black one with white flames on the bottom, and a blue one with the symbol for 'Fear' on the back."


Haku nods, admitting that he likes to wear dresses and kimonos, it was a habit.


Naruto 'hm's' in understanding, while Kyuubi growls.


'Perverted Transvestite.'


*So mean, nee-chan.*


Kyuubi just growls more, not particularly liking perverts that went that far.


Soon everyone was done shopping, food was put away, clothing was hung, and futons as well as beds were assembled and made up. Naruto decided to go bug old man Hokage while Sanziya and Zabuza play Go, Haku was going to wander around the village to get accustomed to it.


"Hey old man!" he says, having slipped past the ANBU guards and now knocking on Sarutobi's door. Sarutobi looks at the door with a start, whose voice was that?


"Come in." he tells the boy, looking up to see exactly who it is. To say the least, he is surprised to see Naruto. "So you're speaking now, hm?"


Naruto nods, explaining, but getting cut off as a new voice rings out from behind a shogi door.


"Fight me, old geezer!" a boy in a helmet with a frowning smiley face on the side and a long blue scarf yells to Sarutobi, coming at the man with a shuriken. "The title of Godaime Hokage belongs to me, Konoham-!"


He trips before he can finish his sentence however, getting up as a black clothed man with sunglasses enters the room.


"Young master!" the man exclaims, apologizing to a sighing Hokage, his eyes stopping on Naruto as he looks around. He mouths a word.


"Demon."


Naruto ignores him, looking pointedly at Konohamaru.


"Is this a trap?" Konohamaru asks, looking around, his eyes alighting on Naruto. "You set up a trap didn't you?!"


Naruto leans back on his chair, yawning as he eyes the boy with askance.


"You tripped over your own feet,..." he tells the boy, then, as if adding it as an afterthought, "Chibi."


Konohamaru glares at the blonde boy, pointing at him.


"I am not a chibi! Take that back or fight me right now!"


Naruto yawns, digging a pinky finger in his ear, and flicking away whatever was on it.


"No thanks, niether of those options fit my fancy. Bye old man, I'll talk to you later." he replies, nodding to the Hokage in goodbye as he walks through the double doors.


::Training grounds::


Naruto gets to Team Seven's training grounds, noticing the square rock behind him, and sighing.


"Chibi, rocks aren't square."


A poof of smoke destroys the 'rock' and Konohamaru appears.


"I'm not a chibi!"


Naruto starts going through katas, nodding.


"Sure you aren't, what do you want chibi?"


The boy pokes his fingers together, much like Hinata would do, and mumbles something.


"Didn't hear you chibi." Naruto replies, not ceasing his training.


"I said teach me a technique that'll defeat Grandpa! And I'm not a chibi!"


Naruto sighs, plopping back down onto his log and taking out a bottle of water.


"What makes you think I can defeat your grandfather, chibi?"


"I dunno, you just seem powerful, more than Ebisu-sensei anyways!"


"Why do you want to be Hokage?"


"I was named after the village, but no one recognizes me for that. I'm just 'young master' or 'the Sandaime's grandson. I want to be recognized for myself, not just because he's my grandpa."


Naruto guzzles down the water, one eye shut, the other staring interestedly at the small boy. He polishes off the bottle, crushing it against his forehead, and leans back across the log.


"Alright chibi, but you have to do something for me first."


::Sanzi and Naru's house::


A mini-ninja in black snuck into the house where three nin lie slumped over various objects, asleep, the sleep bomb had worked perfectly. He hovered over the one with broken arms, figuring him to be an easier target if he should awaken, and took out a long, black stick-like thing, presumably some kind of weapon. However, that notion is erased as he giggles, uncapping the 'stick', drawing doodles, and writing jargon on the man's face.


'Haku and I are exhibitionist lovers, and I am a sadist.' is on his forehead, and he repeats the same thing with the others.


'I am a closet perverted transvestite, and a masochist.' decorates Haku's forehead, and he just tacks random paint bombs all over Sanziya, as well as a pastel plaid in her hair. They'd go off when she moved. Of course, as odd as she was, she'd probably dye her hair that color. Ugh...


::Training grounds::


"Good job Konohamaru!" Naruto congratulates, clapping the mini-ninja on the shoulder as he takes off his mask.


"So will you teach me a new technique Boss?!" he asks, hopping up and down excitedly.


"I suppose so."


"One that'll defeat Ebisu and Grandpa?"


"By all means it should." the blonde replies, making seals, and then pulling his hands apart. "Oiroke(Sexy) no Jutsu!"


He changes into a busty blonde with very little on in the way of clothing. Konohamaru's jaw drops.


"Whoa, cool Boss, teach me, teach me!"


Naruto nods, and a few hours later, after trial, error, and a few more bumps than he would've liked, Konohamaru succeeds in the Oiroke Skill...just as Ebisu jumps out of a nearby tree.


"Young Master! You shouldn't be here, slinking around with this demon trash! Come now, we have to get you some real training in before nightfall." he tells the boy, glaring hard at Naruto, who ignores him, staring off sullenly into the fading blue of the sky. Ebisu grabs Konohamaru's arm, trying to pull him along with him. "Come on, young master."


"No!" the small boy replies, going through quick handseals. "Oiroke no Jutsu!"


He transforms in a busty brown haired woman, much to Ebisu's shock, who starts ranting as soon as the henge wears off.


"What a vulgar skill! To think that you could even come up with something like this is appalling! You must've learned it from that demon spawn!" the man yells, Konohamaru looking slightly sad.


"It's not working Boss."


Naruto flicks away something else from his ear as he gets up off the log, forming seals.


"Tajyuu Oiroke Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." (Multi Sexy Shadow Clone Skill.)


Many bustly blonde women appear, some in short schoolgirl skirts, clinging to a steadily blushing Ebisu.


"Ebisu-sensei! Oooh!" they coo, some flashing the man a peek underneath their skirts, under which they had no underwear of course. Ebisu 'erks', his nosebleed sending him flying halfway across Konoha, and off a cliff. The clones disappear and Naruto goes back to his normal self.


"Sugoi, Boss! So cool!" Konohamaru exclaims, Naruto nodding and yawning, deciding to escort the boy back to his home.


::2 weeks later::


Naruto had recently purchased a weapon from Tenten's family weapon shop, and had been working with it to fit his Taijutsu style. The weapon was a CHH, or Chakra Heavy Hitter, meaning you didn't need chakra to activate it, but it'd do you better in the long run if you did. In this small amount of time he had also picked up a few more weights to go in his coat and shirt, per Kyuubi's instruction. He now had about 300lbs on him in all.


You'll find out exactly 'what' the weapon is later.


He had just finished going through a long sparring match with Sasuke to get used to the added weight of the weapon and his new weights, when a nearby square box starts to follow him as he goes to sit down and eat lunch with the Uchiha. The blonde boy sighs, wrapping his weapon in purple silk and standing it upright beside him, this was really annoying.


"Chibis, what part of 'rocks aren't square', don't you get?"


The box explodes in a poof of pink and the smell of gunpowder.


"The genius of the group, Konohamaru!"


"The kunoichi with more sex appeal than any adult, Moegi!"


"The one who loves numbers, Udon!"


All three of them go into some odd stance, stating this last part in unison.


"We are...the Konohamaru Corps!"


Sasuke looks at the three children, who dress like Naruto had before Kyuubi made him burn that hideous jumpsuit a week ago, and bursts out laughing. Naruto sweatdrops, the K. Corps crowding around him to pester the boy with questions.


"Nii-san, will you play 'ninja' with us?!"


Naruto frowns, popping a piece of egg from his bento box into his mouth via chopstick and chewing. He swallows, looking at the trio of chibis, and nodding.


"Just let me finish my lunch, and we can even get Sasuke-teme to play today."


The children cheer, they had warmed up to Sasuke too since he hung around Naruto so much. Sasuke glares at the blonde, who shrugs as he finishes up the last of his bento, and the children run off to hide.


Konohamaru, the other two behind him, runs into a guy clad in black with cat ears on his head and a mop-topped bundle on his back.


"Hey gaki, watch where you're going!" the guy yells, hauling the brown haired boy up by his collar, the four pony-tailed girl with the fan on her back behind him smirking. "Didn't even apologize eh? I'm gonna have to teach you some manners!"


Naruto comes running up a few seconds later, Sasuke behind him, both glaring daggers at the man.


"Put him down." he tells him, in a voice that no less promises pain if the guy failed to comply.


"Or you'll do what?"


Naruto sighs, dropping himself into his chosen Taijutsu stance. Sasuke doing the same beside him.


"Or I'll make you."


*This is bad I haven't gotten used to my new weights yet, if he calls me on my bluff I'm screwed."


Unfortunately for our blonde demon carrier, the cat eared boy heard him. Sasuke slaps his head at his friend's mental capabilities.


"Dobe." he hisses through his teeth as the guy smirks.


"Is that so?" he asks, reaching his free hand to the bundle on his back as sand starts to curl around the one holding Konohamaru. He stiffens and visibly pales, dropping the boy who sticks out his tongue and runs to hide behind Sasuke's leg.


"Stop it Kankurou." a cold voice says, resonating from behind a tree, the two Konoha genin shift their gaze to see a red haired boy hanging upside down on the tree branch.


"G-Gaara, I was just..."


Gaara narrows his eyes at Kankurou.


"Shut up,...or I'll kill you." he says, sand whirling around him as he appears beside the puppet master. The red head bows to the children and two Genin. "Sorry for the trouble, I am Gaara, this is Kankurou..." he looks to the boy. "...and Temari." he looks to the girl. "We are from Sunagakure, we've come here for the Chunin Exams."


'Kit, be wary, he has Shukaku partially sealed within him.'


*Right Kyuu-san.*


Naruto doesn't relax from his stance, but introduces himself and Sasuke. Gaara looks at him, his eyes seeming to blank out for a few minutes before him comes back.


"I hope to see you at the exams." is all he says before the Suna siblings take their leave.


Naruto 'hm's', nodding at the siblings retreating backs.


*This is gonna be fun.*


'Oh yes.'
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Anaki: My fingers hurt...


RC16: Well you have been typing since 2 this morning


Anaki: I know, but still, owie!


RC17: -hands ice pack- Chunin exams are next, I'll type and you dictate, it's gonna be a long chappie!


Anaki: Yay! -clutches pack- Oooh, feels better.


RC16: Review ppls, she's been at this chappie for a while!