Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ The Shinobi and The Miko ❯ Doubt ( Chapter 19 )

 

Juugo pulled the hood of his cloak up over his head. The driving snow in this region was becoming bothersome indeed. Absently he wondered how the people here ever got used to it. Then again, perhaps it was easy when you had known it all your life.

 

Yes, he supposed a great many things were like that. Killing, for example. It was so much easier when you'd been doing it for so long. He closed his eyes slowly, and reopened them without haste. At least he was good at it. That had to count for something, he mused.

 

The others were trudging along behind him; he could barely make out the sound of their footsteps crunching in the snow over the wind that buffeted the flakes at him. At least he wasn't just a killer anymore. Sasuke's Sharingan had given him back full control over himself. Juugo knew how to be grateful; he'd follow the young shinobi wherever he went now, blizzards and killing or no.

 

Still, there was a part of him that wished that it didn't have to be like this. He well understood his leader's motives (at least as far as he knew them), but he sometimes wondered if they wouldn't all be better off just giving the whole thing up. These were thoughts he would never dare to speak aloud. Perhaps it was weakness that made him think so. Surely there had been no room in his former self for such musings. Then again, perhaps it was the fact that reason was once again in control of rage. Who could say?

 

A particularly vicious gust of wind kicked up, sending Juugo's cloak flying about him. He wrestled the ends to his sides using his enormous strength, and did not falter in his steps. That was the main thing, wasn't it? That he kept going? He glanced behind him to the others, considerably less bothered by the wind due to his bulk protecting them. He wondered in passing if any of them ever doubted what they were doing. It wasn't likely for Suigetsu; he had his own goals, and while he accepted Sasuke's leadership, it was obvious his other motives were what kept him in place. Karin was even more unlikely to do so. While her obsession with Sasuke was a bit disturbing at times, he didn't think it was all that deep. As for the work, she was just… used to it. Like him, she was someone who had lived one kind of life for so long they couldn't imagine anything else. It didn't make much of a difference who she was working for, he decided, she'd still be doing the same things.

 

Sasuke… perhaps he doubted, sometimes. As much as he tried to prove otherwise, he wasn't really as hard as the rest of them. He led because he was the strongest, in terms of both jutsu and purpose. But he wasn't a killer, not yet at least. Maybe this mission would change that, maybe it wouldn't. Sasuke, despite his horrid past, had known the love of others. Juugo could only assume that the reason a certain few Leaf ninja were still alive was because of a lingering nostalgia for this. And then there was the girl… that was just odd.

 

Juugo determined that they had reached the point where they could no longer travel openly, so he stopped and looked back at Sasuke. The teenager nodded once, and the party abruptly split off in different directions. It was time to infiltrate the Kages' council.

 

Juugo shook his head slowly. He wasn't all that skilled at stealth, and there wasn't much cover. Still, he supposed it was difficult to see much of anything in this weather. His own visibility was about six feet in front of him. Luckily, Karin was with him. Her chakra-sensing abilities would be useful if anyone got near.

 

He heard her suck in a breath sharply beside him, and raised an eyebrow mildly.

 

“Have they got ninja guarding the entrance to this place?” She asked pointedly.

 

“The intelligence we received said it would be samurai.”

 

Her eyebrows knit together; snowflakes were melting on her glasses, and then refreezing in the extreme cold. It must be even more difficult for her to see. “Samurai? That doesn't make any sense. These chakras…” she trailed off, evidently trying to work something out.

 

Juugo shrugged. Samurai, shinobi, what was the difference really? If they got in they way, they perished. Surely she knew that.

 

She noticed the gesture and seemed to relax a little, though for someone as tightly-wound as her, that wasn't saying much. Now all they had to do was wait for the signal from Sasuke.

 

Crouched behind a large stone, Juugo once more allowed his thoughts to wander, and they found their way back to their previous train. Why did that Akatsuki let the girl stay around, anyway? She seemed to have a rather pacifying effect on Sasuke, and that couldn't be good for his plans, could it? Perhaps he shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth. As far as Juugo was concerned, it was calming to know someone so openly friendly. It wasn't something he was used to, but rather nice all the same. Briefly, he wondered what it would be like to have such a person waiting for him after he returned from his ventures. Kaguya was kind enough to all of them, but it was a simple thing to tell it was Sasuke she welcomed back each time. He dismissed the thought out of hand. What use had a killer for friends?

 

****

 

Sasuke grimaced. The place was well-guarded, which he had expected, but also geographically defended on two sides, which he had not. That significantly narrowed their options for entry. He willed his turning stomach to be still. Strange, that he would have a case of nerves. Such things had never bothered him before. He had always moved forward not with Naruto's recklessness, but without the self-preservation instincts of Kakashi or Sakura. He had simply known he wouldn't die until he killed Itachi.

 

Perhaps that was it. But then, he had a new mission, and a revenge just as potent. Why then, did he feel differently this time? Was he… afraid to die?

 

He shook his head, trying to chase the thoughts out of his mind. Ignoring a pointed look from Suigetsu, who had resorted to mocking facial expressions now that silence was necessary, and crept closer to the target. Patience was key here; just a little bit longer and he'd have Danzo in his sights. And then… what? He'd have his revenge? Kill again? For what? Satisfaction? The sake of the avenged? They were dead already.

 

Sasuke blinked rapidly. Why was he having these thoughts now? His answer had been easy just a few days ago…

 

Kaguya's shoulders slumped, and the vitality seemed to be slowly creeping out of her.

 

“You're leaving now, then?” She asked tonelessly, assembling her features into the mask she wore all too often these days. “I don't suppose you'll tell me where?”

 

“It's far,” he said noncommittally. “ I may not be back for a few weeks if…” Sasuke realized it was probably unwise to finish the sentence. But she had caught on.

 

“If you come back at all.” Her voice was barely above a whisper, and she shook her head empathetically. “Why? Why is this so important to you?”

 

He squared his shoulders, a flinty edge entering his eyes. Though she was unaware of either action, she caught a sudden shift in his mood and bit her lower lip. “I am an avenger,” he said simply. “I always have been, always will be.”

 

“And when there is nothing left to avenge? What will you do then, Sasuke?” Her voice carried a rare undertone of bitterness.

 

“There will never be a time like that. You haven't seen what I have. You don't understand.”

 

“Oh, I understand. More than you think.” The bitterness had vanished, replaced by a barely-repressed sorrow. She had turned away from him then, but could not allow herself to leave before bidding him farewell.

 

“Be careful. And don't for a minute think that no one will mind if you die. I... come back safely, Sasuke.”

 

He had found himself at a loss for a way to reply to this, so he had merely nodded uselessly at her back as she left.

 

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Kiku's Corner:

 

Gomenasai, mina-san! For those who don't know Japanese, that means sorry, everyone! I realize that this update took forever compared to what I usually manage, and sorry if I let down the people who wanted me to update soon. Gah, I feel terrible.

 

Worse news, it probably won't get a ton better. My beta and I are both insanely busy these days, which makes for a long process. Plus, I'm actively and equitably working on two projects at the moment, so that doesn't help either. But I will try to make it a little sooner next time.

 

Okay, I'm done making excuses now lol. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. The last manga chapter is going to make this almost-canon line really hard to stick to, so forgive me if I diverge a bit more than usual for a while. Kishimoto-sensei, why must Sasuke still be obsessed with revenge?! Waah!

 

Sorry. That was weird. Anyway, thanks to livstar235 and xoxoklim, in case I forgot to send you messages. Reviews are awesome, so thanks to all the other reviewers as well. This chapter is dedicated to my awesome beta, Beth, for all her amazing help and feedback. So if you actually read these when they gut published, thanks again!

 

Other than that, please continue to read and I hope you enjoy. Reviews always welcome, even if it is a criticism. As long as you don't just outright flame me lol. Because flames are mean.

 

Love,

~Kiku~