Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ To Find Warmth In The Snow ❯ Chapter 16 ( Chapter 16 )

Chapter 16

Innocence

 

Authors note: I have no idea why this chapter is named innocence. Maybe I'll find a way to put it in there. It was just a pretty word that seemed good for the moment and I couldn't think of anything better. I think all the people who read my notes are frickin' AWESOME. And all of you who don't can go suck eggs!!! Plus all egg suckers belong on that side of the Internet, *points to right* so get going!! Anyway, to said awesome people you can go ahead and start reading. then send my and e-mail at chidori_nagashi15@yahoo.com that says ` egg suckers suck eggs' (yes I came up with that all by myself, genius I tell you, sheer genius) and I'll know you are an awesome friend of mine. And we will create ... the Anti-Egg-Suckers Club!!!!! xD

Thanks!

 

 

“Come on `Ruka-chan. I've got our new bed all set up.”

Iruka was sitting in the bath his eyes closed and he only barely cracked them open to look at me.

“I'm tired.” He responded.

So he automatically expected me to want to do *that* tonight.

Well I probably would have…

“We don't have to have sex. And if you're tired, that's what a beds for, to go to sleep.”

“Knowing you there'll be no sleeping tonight.” He muttered.

I knelt down and brought his lips to mine.

“I don't need instant gratification. I can wait. It'll be better when you're more energetic anyway. Come on.” I said pulling him up.

He groaned in protest but stepped out of the bath and dried off while I watched him with hungry eyes.

I wanted to drink in everything about him. I'd been so very close to loosing him. Now I realized what a great treasure he was.

I handed him a pair of boxers and his pajamas, which he silently slipped into.

He slipped his hand into mine as we went into our bedroom. I got into the bed, Iruka on the other side of me.

I pulled him to my chest so happy to have his warm body next to mine.

“Kakashi?” he whispered and I looked into his eyes. There was so much in them that I couldn't describe even if I wanted to. I'd never been too good with poetry and such. But the way his eyes seemed to go on and on. Not solid, though they obviously had to be. His eyes were so fluid so… profound and complex that there was nothing I could say to him except…

“Yes?”

 

*Damn, why am I such an idiot when it comes to these sorts of things….*

 

“I…do you really want to make love tonight?”

I sighed, his eyes, as multifaceted as they were, were not enough to lead me away from what he was getting at.

He was surreptitiously saying `Sasuke would have had the energy.'

I put one of my hands up and stroked his cheek before kissing his forehead.

“No, Iruka. I love you. You should rest.”

Feeling that he was still unsatisfied with this I pulled him even closer wrapping my arm around him.

“I enjoy just being close to you.”

He paused before nodding into my shoulder. I waited for him to sleep. Listening to the catches in his breathing.

He'd forgiven me for what I'd done, but he somehow blamed himself for letting me do it. He'd some how got it in his head that I'd slept with Sasuke because he wasn't enough to keep my attention sexually.

But I'd learned that growing up isn't just about getting taller and getting wrinkles. It teaches you stuff. I learned that what Iruka and I had was better than anything else in the world and no one could convince me different.

Now to make him believe it.

I still couldn't forgive myself for putting him through such desolation. I could only imagine what torment and misery he must have felt.

I ran my hand carelessly through his hair gently winding the soft strands around my fingers.

I lay there for an immeasurable amount of time just listening to his breathing and thinking of how grateful I was. My heart felt warm and my body followed its lead.

I occasionally let my lips touch his soft skin. I loved him so much.

I got up, careful not to disturb the sleeping brunette, before I stretched and walked into the kitchen.

My mind was blissfully blank as I sat in the kitchen chair looking at nothing in particular over my glass of water.

I was contemplating going out for a run to tire myself out but decided against it considering the torrent of rain. Instead I opted to bore myself to sleep. It was easy enough and the longer I sat thinking of nothing the drowsier I became. I was just about to go back to bed when I heard a knock on the door.

I stood cautiously knowing that there were only a few reasons why someone would knock on my door and not say anything. If it was an emergency mission they would announce it. I stared at the silent door while standing in my empty living room.

Three more stern and urgent knocks shook the door before I finally went over and answered it. I opened the door only a crack to see a soaking wet Sasuke in hospital clothes.

“It's not what you think.” He said raising his hands as if to surrender, “I'm not here for sex.”

I opened the door a little bit more. I was feeling wide-awake all over again.

He was shivering from the cold and took a longing step towards the door where the heat from inside was escaping.

“What do you want Sasuke?” I asked coldly.

“I-I just need somewhere to stay for a while. I escaped the hospital and the first place Tsunade will go is to my house so I th-thought that-”

“I'm sorry Sasuke.” I cut him off, “You're not welcome here.”

“B-B-but I just…I'm not here for sex. I didn't mean it. I won't do it again. I…” His shivering was so bad it looked on the verge of convulsions. And he was stuttering. I could hear the desperation in his voice and feel the pity in me began to rise but I suppressed it.

“Sasuke, you've made a lot of bad decisions. And you've ruined a lot of relationships with people. I tried to put up with it for a while. But when I almost lost what was most important to me I realized something.”

His jaw was shivering and I could see the hopeless lost look in his eyes as he whispered his final plea, “Please.”

I took a deep breath steeling myself, “Consider this final bridge burned.” I said firmly before I shut the door and locked it.

I turned and leaned my back against the door for support as I tried to process what I'd just done. I could very well have signed Sasuke's death certificate. I knew that he could be volatile when angry and dramatic when depressed.

He might very well kill himself.

I was contemplating going out to look for him when I saw my Iruka through our open bedroom door.

I smiled halfheartedly before I went into our bedroom and laid down next to him. I did feel tired now.

I nestled my face into his shoulder and he turned half awake to look at me and kiss my cheek before falling back asleep.

I wrapped my arms around him my thoughts no longer with Sasuke.

I had what was most important right here. This was all I needed.

 

Xx--XxX--xX

 

My eyes opened to the brightness of the sun shining through the window above our new bed. I was happy. Things had been pretty rough since… but there was no reason to dwell on things that hurt to think about. It was better to just let them pass.

I was feeling better and better with every day that went by though I still found myself checking under he bed hoping to god I didn't find anything.

I sat up and saw that Kakashi was still in a deep sleep and probably wouldn't be waking up for a while.

I carefully disentangled myself from his limbs so as not to wake him, and went to my closet to get dressed. I had just pulled my shirt over my head when I heard a knock at the door.

I walked down the hall closing the door to our bedroom first. There was no reason Kakashi should have to wake up for this.

I didn't have the slightest clue who it could be but I assumed that if it was someone dangerous they most likely wouldn't have knocked on the door.

I opened the door to be faced with the Kazekage. My breath caught in my throat.

*What the hell*

“Good Morning, Kazekage-sama.”

“Iruka, we need to talk. It's about Naruto,” he said pulling a small crumpled piece of paper from his pocket.

 

Xx--XxX--xX

 

I was pacing. Chewing nervously at my thumbnail. I hadn't once bit my nails since I was a very young child but…

How could this happen?

Even worse, how could *I* let this happen.

If I'd had a stronger hold on him... If I'd been strong enough to find him, before…

I stared briefly down at the note in my hand my feet pausing for a moment.

 

Thanks for everything

 

-Uchiha Itachi

 

So few words that meant so very, very much.

They meant everything.

Innocence lost.

Hope never regained.

I could only hope one of my favorite students would not let this change him permanently. That he would find a way to get through it.

Kazekage-Sama explained everything to me. How he'd found Naruto and… what condition he was in.

Both mentally and physically.

There had been something strange about Kazekage-Sama as he told me this news. When I asked if he had seen any improvement in him while he was staying there he kind of clammed up. Something the famous Sabaku No Gaara would never do. I wasn't quite sure what he was keeping from me but he became instantly solemn. Almost sad looking.

I shivered remembering.

Creepy.

But as he explained to me more about Naruto and what he guessed Itachi had done his sadness quickly turned to an anger just barely contained.

I was pacing again.

I'd have to find Naruto and quickly. I'd never known him to be suicidal. He had never been so rash. But after his running away, who knows what he's-

My thoughts quickly cut off as there was suddenly a kunai held to my throat.

Obviously it was Itachi though how he'd gotten into Konoha undetected I couldn't guess.

There was no dramatic rustling in the distance so that I had time to react.

I had been walking north and as I turned to walk south in my worried pacing he was suddenly there.

I could immediately see that he was not interested in playing games or making bargains. And I wasn't prepared for a fight.

My choices were comply or loose my life.

At the thought of death my mind instantly flickered to the sleeping Shinobi just a little ways away from here.

I blinked and reassessed my situation.

“Iruka, I have a proposition for you.”

His kunai pushed a little more urgently into my neck.

But I had to stay calm. I had to stay collected. Never let them see you sweat is the saying I think. But I think that works a lot better when you're prepared for a fight.

Looking into his red eyes there was no way I could resist.

“I'd be happy to hear it.”

 

 

 

Please review!!1 it's important!