Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Tsunade's Heir ❯ A Story (chapters 1 - 4) ( Chapter 1 )

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 1

A Story

I'll tell you a story. The story of one Houou Naruto. For this story, you must take your mind back, back to the day of disaster unimaginable. When Kyuubi no Kitsune himself arose for unknown reasons and made to wipe Konoha off the face of the world as if wiping a stain off a window. But Kyuubi was both overconfident and presumptuous, and knowing that any living thing with those two faults could be defeated; Kazama Arashi: Fourth Hokage of Konoha sealed the fox away in a more than ludicrous move.

-

Jiraya, one of the great Sannins, looked upon his only student whom he could almost proudly call a son, the great “Yellow Flash” of Konoha. “Arashi… you've done it?” the old hermit asked, dreading either positive or negative response for separate reasons.

“Yes, ero-sensei” the mighty Hokage couldn't help but grin, referring to his teacher by his favourite nickname one-last-time. “It's done.”

Jiraya's eyes pooled with sadness as he caught glimpse of a shadowy figure hovering patiently behind his pupil, wretched face drawn back into an inhuman grin.

For Kazama Arashi's shadow was the shadow of death, the Shinigami.

“Arashi…” Jiraya started. There was so much to say, but the words froze in his throught, his pupil had made him proud beyond words every day. Did the cruelty of fate truly know no bounds?

Arashi reached for the bundle of cloth cradled in Jiraya's arms. “Is that him? My... son.” Arashi addressed the bundled child even as he felt the life draining away from him. How he had dreaded this moment. “I… I never wanted this for you. When you're born an orphan, the last thing you ever want is for your children to live that life. The pain of being alone and watching families—alive and whole—be happy, or angry, or sad together while you must suffer with no one to catch you when you fall... Above all I never, ever wanted this for you, please, please… believe me. And… forgive me… my one and only son, I'm so sorry.”

“Let's begin,” Jiraya suggested, eyes closed, for he couldn't bear to see the world right now. He would only see pain and a strong, proud man weeping for a bright future that he had worked all his life for about to be crushed by his own two hands, the personification of death hovering behind, more substantial than ever. He felt the rain, as if the sky were crying, as well on this darkest of dark nights.

Arashi, the indominable Fourth Hokage who never backed down, gave up, or lost, croaked out a “Hai” as if it had to be forcefully ripped from the depths of his soul. Life above happiness, justice above life, duty above justice. But coming from a cold and empty childhood, when Arashi found he would be a father, he had put family… family above all.

But he loved his village like family, the people who had been there to see him grow up. He was a child of Konoha, if not of anyone else that he knew. And it was for their lives, along with the life of son—which would all be forefeet if the demon was not sealed into a proper container—that he was about to seal the worst of the demons inside his not-a-day-old son and condemn him to a future of unknown dangers. Through the painful Irony, Kazama Arashi had never felt so ashamed.

-

x-Konoha General Hospital-x

The battle, if it could be called such, with Kyuubi no Kitsune had incurred many, many losses. An old, weary man pondered this as he walked down the somehow pristine corridors of Konoha's General Hospital. Responding to respectful, if subdued, bows and addresses of “Sarutobi-sama” with an empathetic look and kind smile… Sarutobi could not help but feel a deep sorrow. Many, many losses. And not all of them physical. Spirit was at an all time low. The crippling terror of the demon fox still lurked in the once bright eyes of men and women alike. Sarutobi sighed, but paused mid-stride as something caught his eye beyond the glass screen on his left. Tsunade?

“Hello Tsunade” The old man greeted, as he entered the dimly lit, empty room. Tsunade Houou was seen sitting on a chair, holding a bundle of cloth in her arms. She looked quite comfortable, and Sarutobi could only guess just how long she had been sitting there.

“Hello, Sarutobi-sensei. You're wearing that ugly hat again.” The patron medic-nin observed.

“Ah yes, well since Arashi's passing… it looks like I'll have to be Hokage again, for now.” Sarutobi grimaced. He would gladly take up the responsibility for his village, but Arashi had been the bright future of the next generation. Once again, he felt sorry for his village.

Tsunade only grunted in response, seemingly remembering to be intensely annoyed with something.

“Something the matter, Tsunade?”

“Damn right something's the matter!” The blond hissed, “I found one of your medic-nins trying to kill this infant with a scalpel. And… keep your voice down. I've only just gotten him to sleep…”

Sarutobi didn't miss how Tsunade sounded royally pissed and vaguely disgusted at the first part, and suddenly embarrassed at that last part. But there was an assassination attempt already? By… a medic no less.

Tsunade opted to carefully move the cloth from the sleeping bundle in her arms and show Sarutobi the damage. Six black lines stretched across the infant's cheeks, in a clear rendition of whiskers. Sarutobi flinched at the sight, but Tsunade pressed on. “She used a solution on the scalpel to stop the blood from clotting; and another to stain the skin, even when I heal it. It looks like a damn whisker tattoo, except I can't remove it like one. I'd be impressed if I weren't so disgusted.”

The re-instated Hokage, veteran of a hundred gruesome battles, felt suddenly ill. “Oh Arashi...” Sarutobi darkly lamented under his breath, “perhaps you are better off dead. It would have only killed you a thousand times to see your village act like this.”

“To do this to a child… Such a perversion of medical knowledge is disgusting.” Tsunade looked at Sarutobi pointedly.

Dully noting the dangerous look from his former-puil, Sarutobi reached into his bag of tricks and pulled out a technique he'd learned from an old friend of his who had become a successful lawyer. That is to say, he figuratively covered his ass with both hands and bent the truth until it looked like a pretzel. “Of course I'll investigate into it right away, Tsunade. I'm sure it's just an isolated incident; I can't imagine a citizen of Konoha doing such a spiteful thing. Though,” Sarutobi became gravely serious for a moment, “of course the culprit will be harshly dealt with.” There were no good excuses for attempting to assassinate one of Konoha's own children in Sarutobi's books.

That seemed to appease Tsunade, well enough. She returned to staring intently at the sleeping babe. “He involved in some sort of family feud?”

Sarutobi sighed. Truthfully, he didn't really know if this would just be an isolated incident at all. But he could hope. “No. He's an orphan, I'm afraid”

“An… orphan…” Tsunade seemed to hold the child closer while trying to look like she wasn't doing anything of the sort. A fact that wasn't lost on Sarutobi.

“Tsunade, are you…”

“What's his name?” Tsunade interrupted

Not missing a beat, Sarutobi replied. “Ah, there's a problem with his last name, but the first name is confirmed: Naruto.”

“Naruto” Tsunade mused, testing the name on her tongue, “the ramen topping?”

Sarutobi sweat-dropped. “More like `Maelstrom' than the ramen topping…”

“Houou Naruto… I like it,” she rocked the child slightly, “do you like it, Naru-chan?” In response, the infant yawned which—let's face it—was the closest Tsunade was going to get to any kind of confirmation. “Houou Naruto it is, then. I'll send Shizune to deal with the papers later.”

Mother and child. Seeing his former pupil smiling brightly down at her just adopted son, Sarutobi was suddenly overcome with an overwhelming sense of hope for the future. It was odd how, even in the aftermath of the bleakest days, he had found such a glowing sight. He didn't know what strange twist of fate had let these two to each other but he was grateful. “No,” Sarutobi shook his head, “that's not necessary. I'll handle it all. He's not just a normal child after all; I'll have to deal with the council. You see… he's the container.”

“The container…” Tsunade echoed. Then as realization struck, she pulled the cloth around Naruto's stomach away, revealing Arashi's seal. Tsunade frowned softly at it and did something a little unexpected. She didn't care at all. “My poor Naru-chan…” she caressed his hair consolingly. “Not even in Konoha for a day and your already in danger. I'm getting you out of here.” She'd lost her husband and brother in Konoha. She'd be damned if she'd lose her newly adopted son here to some vengeful villager with a sharp object.

Sarutobi flinched, acutely aware of Tsunade's current views on Konoha in respect to her loved ones. It was then that the old man came to a sudden realization. “Tsunade, did you say you healed the child's wounds?”

“I did heal him, but I didn't say anything about it.” Tsunade informed.

“But your hemophobia…” Sarutobi trailed off, referring to Tsunade's incapacitating fear of blood. Could it be?

Tsunade stiffened reflexively at the mention of her `condition'. “Well, I couldn't just let him bleed to death” It was true. Something about the kid made her want to viciously guard him from danger.

Sarutobi looked quite surprised. Then she was cured? She was cured! “I hear that the operation rooms are swamped...” he hinted hopefully. Being the Hokage was more than a job, it was a lifestyle.

Tsunade narrowed her eyes at her old sensei.

“For old time's sake?” Sarutobi hazarded

“I've been working all morning `for old time's sake'. I'm getting Naru-chan out of here. Now.”

Sarutobi didn't give up. “But this is still the place that Naruto's father built his legacy,” he reminded the headstrong woman, “He may want to visit here some day. And Konoha would forever be in your debt.”

Tsunade paused halfway out the door. That was true. If Naru-chan ever wanted something from Konoha, it might be good to have some swing here. She looked at the precious bundle in her arms, sighed, kissed him on the forehead, and gently handed him over to Sarutobi. “If he gets hurt at all, Sarutobi-sensei. I'll kick you where the sun doesn't shine.” She promised. Now what was scary was that, with Tsunade's legendary strength, she had been known to punt boulders over the Hokage monument.

Watching his former student stride down the hallways, Sarutobi felt the blood drain from his face. “W-Well, Naruto-kun. Why don't we just… stay… right here in this nice empty room until your mother returns?”

The baby, of course, only fidgeted in response.

-

x-Konoha: Outskirts-x

Shizune made a thoughtful sound as she looked over at the young Naruto in Tsunade's arms once again. Actually, she was glad for the change, not that she didn't completely respect Tsunade. But no matter how you slice it, traveling with only your gamble-maniac mentor could get so tedious. “His name means `malestrom' right, Tsunade-sama?”

“No,” Tsunade disagreed, “more like the ramen topping.”

“R-Ramen?”

“It's cuter” Tsunade explained

“I… see?” Shizune said, though really she didn't understand at all. “By the way, Tsunade-sama, if you're going to be Naruto-kun's mother then… um.”

“Not `going to',” Tsunade interrupted testily, “I've already adopted him. He's my Naru-chan, have you been listening at all?”

“Right, right,” Shizune placated her mentor, whose rage itself was legendary, “But, um…”

“Oh, spit it out already!” Tsunade sighed

“Can I be his sister?” Shizune blurted, surprising the sannin.

“Fine,” Tsunade said after a time, “but I'm going to hold you responsible if you turn him into a spoiled brat”

Shizune grinned widely. Oh, she'd always wanted a little brother! “Can I hold him?” she asked excitedly.

“Don't push your luck” Tsunade snapped

Omake

x-A few days later-x

“Shizune, did you bring it?” Tsunade asked, not diverting her intent gaze from the sleeping bundle that was Naruto.

“Hai, Tsunade-sama,” Shizune replied dutifully, “though, Naruto-kun isn't even awake to drink it and it's just going to cool down. Again…”

“You fool,” Tsunade berated, “he's asleep NOW. But when he wakes up, he'll be hungry.” The blond tested the milk's temperature by shaking some onto her wrist. “Shizune, get me a thermometer. I'm not sure this milk is properly lukewarm. And close that door! You're lowering the room temperature”

x-Weeks after that-x

“Thousands of ninjutsu in this god-damn world,” Tsunade groused, “and not even ONE diaper-change no jutsu. Alright Naru-chan, all clean now.”

“Tsunade-sama!” Shizune appeared out of no-where, “You can't use language like that in front of an impressionable infant! They learn how to speak by imitation!”

Tsunade waved off the complaint. “What are you talking about? He's a man, isn't he? He can swear at whoever he wants. Isn't that right, Naru-chan?” Tsunade cooed, “You're going to grow up and swear at all the assholes that deserve it, aren't you? Yes you are! Yes you are!” She finished, rubbing the infant's stomach affectionately, who giggled in response.

Shizune was vaguely horrified. “Tsunade-sama! No, I won't allow it, you're corrupting him!” Shizune declared as she stole her young and impressionable little brother from her mentor. “You're intentionally swearing more than you do normally!”

“Of course I am!” Tsunade shot back, “My Naru-chan won't take crap from anyone. He's going to grow up and tell off all kinds of people: perverts, lawyers, political powers, old man Sarutobi…” she trailed off.

“No way! He's my precious ototou and I won't let you set such a bad example!”

“I'm his mother, and I'll teach him to swear like a fng sailor if I want to!”

“Nooo!” Shizune cried, covering Naruto's ears, “ototou, don't listen!”

End.

I don't know if it means anything, but Sannin can be broken into san(three) nin(abbreviation for ninja). And there are only three of them, so for instance Jiraya could be called “one of the three”

Additionally. Jiraya can also be called a Sennin, rather than a Sannin. Sannin is a rank, but a Sennin is basically a powerful hermit or something. Jiraya can go by the name Gama Sennin (Frog Hermit)

No one really knows the Yondime's last name, but Kazama is commonly used in the fan community.

Shinigami means death god, or something along those lines.

“Naruto” actually means “Malestrom”(pretty much a whirlpool). It's also the name of a fish-cake slice(I think) with a swirl on it used as a ramen topping, presumably because of the swirl which is vaguely like a whirlpool. It's also been used as a nickname for the sign, again because of the vaguely swirly nature.

Hemophobia is an actual condition. It's a fear of blood, like aracnaphobia is a fear of spiders. Tsunade had a traumatic past, which ties in to both the fear of blood and the `fear' of Konoha causing more misery for her. It is irrational, but sadly fear cannot always be banished by logic.

“Ototou” means “younger brother”

Please review.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Chapter 2

Life with the Houou's

And so it was that young Naruto came to be taken away from the village of Konoha and its villagers' festering resentment, not even being a day old. He grew up in a loving, if volatile, home. When it came down to it, what more did one really need? Many things happened, of course. Tsunade and Shizune were both medic-nins. Obviously, they looked up various books on child psychology. Naruto ended up having a fairly advanced vocabulary for his age, just from listening to his family talk, which included a fair knowledge of swear-words picked up from his mother, much to Sizune's horror. Growing up with family, ones parents naturally pass on what skills they have to their children. A father will gladly teach his children how to throw a ball or play a sport. A mother will teach her children, weather they like it or not, social etiquette and how to deal with people… and so on. Now when you're growing up with a mother and sister that that have constructed more than half modern medic-nin theory, well… you pick up some things, like how to take a noogie from you're freakishly strong mother. Of course it wasn't until shortly after little Naruto's second birthday that he actually learned what a medic-nin was and consequentially started to actively follow in his mother's footsteps.

-

“What's that?” asked a confused Houou Naruto, now two years old and still struggling with new or bigger words, “can I eat it?”

“No,” Tsunade explained sweetly, “you can't eat it, Naru-chan. It's like a job, No!” she suddenly exclaimed dramatically, “it's much more important, you save people, and they all look up to you!”

“You mean, like a super hero?” Naruto asked in awe.

“Yes, exactly!” Tsunade cheered, “Like a super hero! Superhero's are cool right?”

“Tsunade-sama!” came Shizune's voice as she barrelled into the room, years saving her otoutou from corruption having practically giving her a sixth sense, “stop trying to manipulate Naruto-kun like that!”

“You're talking non-sense Shizune, why don't you take the day off? You can have paid leave” Tsunade offered.

“You don't even pay me; I volunteered to be your assistant!” Shizune protested hotly, “and you can't bribe me, I'm not going to let you manipulate my otoutou!”

“Grr…” While Shizue was her assistant and differed to Tsunade on pretty much anything, when it came to her `otoutou' she could be so… “it's not manipulation, it's… a sales pitch”

“It's clearly manipulation!”

-

And of course, his first memorable meeting with Katsuya later that year.

“Kaa-chan, what's the surprise already? Can I eat it?” Naruto inquired

“For the last time, brat…” Tsunade dragged out, “no, you can't eat it. You glutton, stop caring about food so much”

“Fine! After you stop drinking sake so much!” Naruto shot back.

Of course, taking lip from her adopted son was pissing Tsunade off but she only grinned. Why? Hehe…

“Okay, Naru-chan I'll show you the surprise now! Ready?” Tsunade asked

“Yeah!”

Tsunade flipped though the hand seals quickly. Boar, Dog, Bird, Monkey, Sheep… bite the thumb, a bit of blood on the palm, slam it into the ground, and…

“Kuchiyose no jutsu!”

…Tsunade was treated to the sight of Naruto screaming like a little girl before hiding behind her legs and pointing fearfully. “It's a giant slug! It's going to eat us!”

Katsuyu, meanwhile, was decidedly put out. “Oh my, I won't eat you Naruto-san. Don't worry”

Sadly, Katsuyu's efforts had the opposite effect. Naruto screamed shrilly, “It knows my name! It's a mind reading, giant slug! Kaa-chan, run for it!”

“Tsunade-sama…” Shizune muttered, “maybe we should have told him about Katsuya-san before…”

“Um,” Tsunade cleared her throat, “y-yes, N-Naru-chan, don't w-worr…” she managed to get out before doubling over in laughter. Naruto was afraid of… Katsuya! Katsuya the vegetarian! He screamed like a girl!

“Naruto-san, I'm your mother's summon,” Katsuyu explained, trying to coax the child from behind his adopted sister's legs, now that his old cover spot had been compromised due to it… laughing uproariously. “You don't have to worry; she's told me all about you.”

“O-Oh, of course. I knew that.” Naruto claimed as he shakily came to stand before the giant slug, “I just… have an irrational fear of slugs,” Naruto provided weakly, “I've gotten over it now though.”

“I see.” Was the only response from Katsuyu, who was, honestly? A bit amused and somewhat enamoured with Naruto's `cute' antics. “Well I hope that means we can be friends, Naruto-san.”

“I'd be honoured, Katsuyu-san.” Naruto smartly replied and bowed smoothly, “please don't mind kaa-sama. We don't know why she's so strange sometimes, but she is.”

“Oh my, that must be terribly difficult for you,” Katsuyu offered her condolences, “but you're such a polite boy, she must be so pleased.”

“Naruto-kun…” Shizune interrupted, taking pity on her ototou. “Your manners are very impressive… when you use them…” which isn't often, she almost muttered aloud, “but you don't need to be so formal with Katsuyu-san. She's almost like a part of the family and of course you'll be able to summon her one day…”

“R-Really?” Naruto asked, “Oh… then Katsuyu-chan, can you do something about my really mean mother?” he pleaded.

“I'll do my best, Naruto-kun,” Katsuyu offered. And, amidst cries of “just who's summon are you?” she proceeded to lob a glue like substance at the venerable Tsunade-hime.

-

You could say that Tsunade was much better off for knowing her adopted son. He brought light and life to her previously unexceptional existence as a drifting gambler. You could even say she changed for the better as her sardonic side, despondancy and general hate of the world decreased. Though of course, some sacrifices had to be made.

Tsunade's eye twitched in irritation. “Impossible…” she was at the market, standing before an interesting shelf. “Sake…” she muttered, glancing to the right and finding large, glorious bottles of sake. “And… ramen” she muttered, glancing to the left: shelves stocked with the yummy instant noodle packets which Naruto was such a fan of. A big fan. “Damn! Why is ramen being put beside sake, anyway?” she yelled in frustration.

Shizune didn't miss mentor's dilemma. Ramen or sake, what would she buy? Suddenly, the assistant's face split into a somewhat meddlesome cheshire-cat grin. “Oh, Tsunade-sama, did I tell you?” she asked, sounding far too innocent. “Naruto-kun's been doing so well with his studies lately. And yesterday he found a pervert and threw him all the way to the top of a redwood tree.”

Tsunade's lips twitched, having seen the afore-mentioned man clinging to the top of a thirty meter tall redwood for dear life. “Naruto did that? That's pretty high…” she mused.

Tsunade seemed to struggle; she reached out vainly for her sake. Sweet glorious sake! But… “Damn. Stupid maternal pride…” she ground out, finally giving up and snatching some ramen from the shelf. “Come on Shizune, we're paying for this crap before I come back to my senses.”

Grinning insanely, Shizune followed. Oh, Tsunade-sama had chosen something over sake! She was so proud…

-

And though Tsunade now had a son, she did unfortunately retain her status of a wandering-gambler. In fact, it was while wandering through the small town of Rukodo that Naruto first encountered the last piece of what would be his family at the local onsen.

“Oy, kid, what's that you've got there?”

“Huh?” Naruto eyed the silver haired man, “what do you mean, old man?”

“That thing on your back” Jiraya insisted, indicating the intricately stylized lines covering the majority of Naruto's back.

“Oh, that? It's a tattoo. My kaa-chan got really mad when she found out…” Naruto trailed off evasively.

“That's no tattoo kid, it's a seal” Jiraya said shortly, causing Naruto to narrow his eyes at the stranger

“If you know what it is, then don't ask!” Naruto snapped. How the did this guy distinguish the seal kaa-chan put on his back from a tattoo?

“I meant,” Jiraya growled out slowly, “what's it for?” It wasn't a question.

“Who the hell is asking?” Naruto shot back. Obviously, he had picked up how to swear from his mother, to a point.

Hearing his cue, Jiraya amazingly managed to perform an impromptu introduction dance in the hot spring, splashing water everywhere. For emphasis, he held open a copy of Icha-Icha Paradise in one hand at the end for Naruto to see. Though why he would take that book into a hot spring is anyone's guess.

Naruto eyed the inside of the cover. “The world's greatest novelist and ninja,” he read flatly, “the wonderful Jiraya-sama.”

Naruto sighed at the evidence. “Tacky silver hair: check” he muttered aloud, “lame introduction dance: check. Picture in a perverted book… sigh: check. Yeah, it's him.”

Naruto suddenly turned his head to the wall separating the men's bath from the female's side. “Hey, kaa-chan! I found Uncle Jiraya!”. Though Naruto had never met the man, his mother had regretfully informed that: between Jiraya's history as part of her gennin team - which was almost like her second family growing up - and his status as the close mentor of Naruto's biological father… Jiraya was more than qualified for the position of `uncle' if he wanted it.

Tsunade swore. A lot. In fact, if Naruto hadn't been so used to it by now, he'd have been scarred for life. “Naru-chan! If that idiot starts peeking, beat the living hell out of him!”

-

Which brings us to our present scene. Some years, and much history, after Naruto's first encounter with his `uncle', our hero is found standing in a small clearing within the forest behind his `current' house one moonlit night.

Once again, Naruto's fist made contact with the unforgiving rock. The resounding `thwack' going unnoticed by the blond as he continued to pound away relentlessly at the boulder in front of him. His strength was steadily, if achingly slowly, approaching his mother's freakish level. The crescent shaped slab of rock he was pounding on - which had once been a boulder - was a testament to the fact. Chips and splinters of rock littered the ground around him, reminiscent of so much broken glass.

“Isn't it past your bedtime, brat?”

“Huh?” Naruto snapped around, spotting the familiar spiky silver hair. “Oh. Hi, Ero-Uncle” Naruto greeted. “Didn't the female population around here petition you to stay away?”

“Che! Little nephew, you have much to learn.” Jiraya lectured. “When a woman tells you to stay away, it means she likes you!”

Naruto stared at his unofficially adopted uncle. Was he serious? “Ero-Uncle…” Naruto sighed, “are you really an idiot, or just in denial?”

Jiraya merely grunted and opted for a change of topics as he sat down on a fallen tree-trunk. “And what about you brat? You're out late, sneak out of the house?” he asked, bringing the conversation - by some strange fluke - to a civil level as he threw a can of juice at Naruto.

Naruto made a noncommittal grunt in response as he reached up to catch the cold beverage arcing through the air and…

“Shit!” Naruto suddenly swore as the can slapped into his open palm and unexpectedly sent laces of pain shooting throughout his open hand. A dead silence ensued, only broken by the `ding' of the dropped beverage bouncing off the floor.

Naruto looked at his palm in bewilderment. For the first time that night, he noticed the bloody mess that his knuckles had become.

“Need me to patch you up, kid?” Jiraya asked, only half joking.

“Nah, this is nothing.” Naruto explained and proceeded to form seals in jerky movements that were clearly interrupted by the insane pain his hands had to suffer through. A few agonizing seconds later - not that he showed just how much pain he was in - Naruto picked up the fallen beverage and joined the old man on the impromptu bench, completely healed. “So what's up, ero-Uncle? You come here to do `research' for that perverted book of yours?”

“Peeking? Nah,” Jiraya explained, “I actually came looking for you, kid. Haven't seen you for a while...”

Naruto felt the older man reach over and muss up his hair affectionately and asked “Really?”

“Sure,” the frog hermit grunted, “I even missed your fourth birthday, remember? Though I'm not saying I won't do some `sightseeing' before I go”

Naruto ignored his uncle's sudden perverted chuckle. “No, it's fine. You sent a card with Gamakochi.”

Jiraya sounded thoughtful. “You know, any normal kid would be complaining or demanding presents by now.”

Naruto merely scoffed at the thought. “Normal? What's that have to do with me?”

“True. You're a pretty weird kid. `Normal' isn't sneaking out at night to punch some rock until it gives up and crumbles into rubble.”

A silence stretched out to follow Jiraya's last statement. He held his tongue as he say the medic-nin in training frown at his can of apple juice. “You know how I never told you what that seal on my back was for?”

Indeed, Jiraya remembered the seal well. Frankly, he was impressed that Tsunade could pull something so complicated off. How many months or years had it taken her?

“Well,” Naruto continued, “it's not really for sealing anything. It just… alters this one” he mumbled, lifting up his shirt and exposing… nothing.

“You can't see it, but it's there. The Kyuubi's seal…” Naruto muttered. “You know, when seals are put on people they only show up when you mould some Chakra through them” Naruto informed

Jiraya's brow furrowed, that was true. Very true. “Kid, I've never seen the one on your back disappear.” He informed gravely

“Yeah,” Naruto's head lifted up, now contemplating the stars, “Chakra's always running through it.”

Jiraya was almost afraid of where this was going. “What is it?”

“A lock.” Naruto promptly answered him. “It's just a lock. It keeps the Kyuubi's chakra from touching mine.”

“But… why?” Jiraya asked in befuddlement.

“A medic-nin needs very high Chakra-control” he stated as if it were a simple and profound fact of life. “And even kaa-chan's battle techniques need a lot of control… and I can't,” Naruto sighed, “I can't reach the right level with Kyuubi's chakra mixing with mine.”

“I don't understand it much, but It's a lock” Naruto re-iterated “it cuts Kyuubi out of the loop. And it seals off a quarter of my chakra to stay active all the time”

“Twenty-five percent, huh? That's pretty steep.” Jiraya carefully informed, “Arashi's seal will grow with you, so you're mother's will have to grow to match it. That's twenty-five percent of your chakra that you'll never see for the rest of your life. Just to make it as if Kyuubi wasn't there.”

Naruto didn't seem phased; in fact the little boy seemed much older than he was. “There's more to pay than that. I was chosen as the container because I was born the closest to when Kyuubi was sealed. My body is the container. And to stay the container, kaa-chan's seal will fade once a month and adjust my body”

Jiraya grimaced. “So once a month as Kyuubi's chakra is open to you and your body is forced to alter itself… which day is it?”

Naruto nodded. “Nee-chan picked out the day. She said making it work once every new moon would be more convenient. It's not bad, but I can't fight or train very well. I feel sick and… cough up blood a lot”

Ah, Jiraya couldn't hold it anymore “I knew Tsunade was paranoid about Arashi's seal, but I hadn't even considered this… Listen Naruto, having the Kyuubi sealed in you shoots your chakra control to hell, but it's not all bad! Arashi's seal will let you heal faster and have more chakra converted slowly from Kyuubi. It balances out. You can't reach the ridiculous heights of control that Tsunade has, but-”

Naruto stood up and faced his uncle with a determined look. “I need chakra-control to be the heir to kaa-chan's techniques” he said firmly, his face taking on a more fierce tone as he continued. “And I don't need help from the Kyuubi for that or anything else!”

Jiraya looked surprised, but ended up chuckling wryly and conceding the point after a time. Once Naruto's made up his mind like this… well, you either agree or get out of the way. And Jiraya could very well understand the boy's sentiments regarding getting far under his own power. “Alright kid, I get it. Sit back down already.”

It was then that Jiraya made a wistful observation “All children have the desire to surpass their parents. Such a sweet little kid, aren't you, `Naru-chan'?”

Naruto smiled, bearing the brunt of Jiraya's jibe, just glad to see that his uncle understood his decision “Don't sound so laid back, old man,” Naruto countered cheekily, “I'll surpass you, too!”

“Hmph!” Jiraya snorted contemptuously as he made a show of flipping off the log dramatically. “A brat like you? Kyuubi already shot your chakra-control to hell! You have absolutely no natural talent for it at all! You can only use seventy-five percent of your chakra, and to top it off, you're an idiot!”

“WHAT DID YOU SAY?” Naruto demanded, lunging for the famed pervert's throat.

“And you're loud!” Jiraya yelled back as he dodged Naruto's lunges with ease, “you're the worst possible person to try and become a ninja!”

Naruto growled and charged again. This wasn't playful banter anymore, this was war!

“BUT!” Jiraya thundered, causing Naruto to pause in his tracks and listen interestedly. “… you got guts, kid.”

Jiraya smiled proudly as he continued. “You built your chakra control up from scratch to something damn impressive for your age. And you never let your twenty-five percent chakra handicap slow you down, you just worked harder. You really aren't a genius like some other kids: you're book-smarts isn't anything impressive. But you're always reading a scroll or book whenever you walk anywhere. You had me, Shizune, and your mother to teach you, but in the end you grew damn strong kid: under your own power.”

Naruto almost got teary-eyed. Almost. His uncle sure had a roundabout way of delivering praise, that was for sure. The boy walked up to the man and gave him a wide smile. “You forgot something” Naruto informed.

“Yeah?” Jiraya asked, amused.

“Yeah... I'm loud but,” Naruto cocked his fist back “I can trick idiots like you any day”

WHAM!

“Ugh” Jiraya groaned as he peeled himself off of the tree Naruto's punch had sent him sailing into. “Damn brat, I take back everything I said! You're useless!”

“Keh!” Naruto snorted, “you think you can insult me and then get away with it by saying some other stuff? You're the only idiot here!”

“Ungrateful brat!”

“Ero-Baka! Ero-Baka!” Naruto taunted, pointing an accusing finger at his uncle. “When they see him, all the women run away! He has to peek because no one will date him! He's been slapped by women in every country in the world!”

-

Well… no one ever said they had a normal relationship. Normal would be too boring for those guys. But at the end of their meeting, Naruto and Jiraya walked away with the underlying messages behind their scuffles and arguments engraved within their hearts forever. And that... that was all right.

“I understand your decision Naruto. I'm proud of you.”

“Thanks for understanding, Uncle.”

Omake

Naruto walked up a small hill and found his Uncle sitting atop a grassy knoll. For once, not doing anything perverted.

“Yo, Ero-Uncle. What's that thing?”

Jiraya just grunted and continued to twist the little multi-coloured cube in his hands.

“Hey, hey. What is it already?” Naruto pestered.

“It's called a Rubix-Cube, brat. A merchant sold it to me. It's a puzzle. See? You have to get each side to have only one colour on it.” Jiraya explained, giving it a decisive twist.

“Ahh, I see.”

-

x- thirty minuets later-x

“Gah! Piece of junk!” Jiraya yelled before suddenly throwing the cube away.

Only to have Naruto catch it in one hand. “Jeez! It's just a cube! What kind of Sannin are you, anywhays?”

“Let's see you try it!” Jiraya demanded.

“Fine, I'll solve this thing easily! Just watch carefully, Ero-Baka” Naruto instructed.

-

x-another thirty minuets later-x

Naruto sat, fuming at the little cube before him, taunting him mercilessly. Damnit.

“… It's a stupid thing, anywhays.” Naruto pouted

“Of course,” Jiraya agreed factually, “in fact, I have much more important things to do.”

“Me too,” Naruto quickly agreed, “I can't believe I've wasted this much time already. I mean, it's probably impossible to do it.”

“Do what?” Jiraya asked, “I don't know what you're talking about. And I definitely don't know anything about useless cubes that are beneath my notice.”

“Oh hey! A rubix-cube!”

The uncle-nephew pair turned in tandem to see the origination of the voice. A spectacled kid suddenly bent down and picked up the afore mentioned cube.

“Wow, I haven't had the pleasure of idly indulging my crazily-cranial-cracking intellect on three dimensional cubic entertainment of this magnitude since I was three.” The child, no older than four, observed.

-

x-thirty seconds later-x

“Ah!” The nameless boy exclaimed, “as extraneously easy as I recalled.”

Naruto and Jiraya's eyes twitched in irritation. Naruto didn't even know what every other word out of this guy's mouth meant, but a stranger had just shown him up. Badly. Without even knowing.

“Well, good day gentle-sir! I'll just return this delightful mind-teaser to you, my good peer, and be on my way. How good of you to leave it so unimaginably far from solved for me. I bid you, Adieu!”

An with that, the little spectacled boy went on his way. Naruto had to physically restrain himself from hurling the rubix-cube at the gifted child's retreating form with a vengeance.

However, Jiraya took the cube and threw it at the smarmy brat, himself.

“This never happened.” Jiraya insisted

Naruto could only nod fiercely in agreement

-

x-next week-x

“Yo, Tsunade” Jiraya greeted as he entered his old team-mate's current abode.

“Jiraya” Tsunade drawled from the kitchen. “How coincidental. You managed to somehow drop by just as dinner was prepared. Again. And I'm sure that you must be very hungry after travelling so far. Again. And I'm sure you won't leave me alone until I let your freeloading ass eat for free. Again!”

“Wow, Tsunade. You really are a remarkably astute woman!”

TWACK!

Jiraya was hit in the head by a flying projectile of the egg-timer nature. But hey, it was worth it. Free food! It didn't matter that he actually had loads of cash. Free-ness was bliss, plain and simple.

“Hm?” Jiraya sounded intrigued as he spotted an innocent looking cube perched on the counter. ”Tsunade, what's that?”

The Slug Sannin followed his gaze. “Oh that? Naru-chan kept bugging me to buy him this thing a while ago. Kid kept carrying it with him and fiddling with it when he wasn't training. I swear he wouldn't put the damn thing down, even though it pissed the hell out of him. And then…” She shook her head wonderingly, “when he finished it, he just put it on the windowsill and left it.”

Tsunade shot her old team-mate a look. “What do you know about it?”

Jiraya grinned madly. So, the brat didn't give up after all? He kept going for a week even after all that happened? For what? To gloat? For praise? No. To accomplish what he couldn't before. To not back down. “Kid's got guts” he informed, feeling somehow insurmountably impressed.

Tsunade's eyebrow delicately rose in that way that made people feel like they were idiots “What, are you just finding this out now? You really are slow, aren't you, `Ero-Baka'?”

Jiraya's pride stung painfully. Too painfully to reply. He felt like he'd been verbally punched in the gut!

Naruto suddenly strolled into the room, his pristine white clothes now covered in mud. He looked over and noticed the shocked and insulted look his uncle was sporting. “Ah? Ero-Baka is here again? I should call you Ero-Freeloader, but it's too long” he informed pointedly.

“I'm going to take a shower, Kaa-chan!” Naruto yelled over his shoulder as walked past the stunned form of his uncle. “Make sure Ero-Freeloader doesn't eat all the food before I'm done!”

Tsunade smiled proudly. That's her Naru-chan! Putting idiots in their place and throwing insults at perverts with pin-point accuracy. Ah, she was so proud.

End

I'm sorry; I tend to use a lot of commas. I can't help it, it's an addiction. I'll try to cut back.

Boar, Dog, Bird, Monkey, and Sheep are the hand seals for the summoning technique as described by Jiraya. I'm not sure that the hand seals are the same for every summon race, but this is what I have.

Katsuyu, for those that don't know, is Tsunade's greatest slug summon. She's very `tame' and polite. Gentle, too.

Icha-Icha Paradise is that orange book Kakashi is always reading. It's a popular perverted book that Jiraya writes.

“Ero-” is a prefix that Naruto uses in the anime to describe perverts. Hence: ero-sannin (perverted Sannin). It's not a far jump to get Ero-Uncle (perverted uncle) and Ero-Baka (perverted idiot)

About Ero-Uncle. Strictly speaking, it should be something like Ero-Ojisan. But that can get confused with a lot of things too easily. Ex. Ojisan is uncle. Ojiisan is grandfather.

Please Review.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter 3

Several Subjects

For the Houous, days passed by in more of the same fashion. Neither the Houous nor Jiraiya were known for staying in one place for very long. The Houous wandered fire country, occasionally stopping for months at a time in any one village, renting apartments. Jiraiya spent most of his time around fire country as well, though he wandered the world. It was never a great surprise to see him making short visits to wherever his nephew happened to be, staying just a bit longer than he normally did in a particular city. It was even less of a surprise for him to sit in for some free-food with the barest of excuses -and absolutely no invitation. Naruto continued to make steady progress with his studies. Despite Shizune's always-ready praise, he could not help but feel inadequate. He hadn't his mother's nor his sister's natural affinity for manipulating chakra, still being leagues behind the ability they had displayed during their first years of general academy training. It would only be natural, if sad, for an adopted child like him to gain the concept within his subconscious that he was simply a damaged child. Kyuubi's existence had done nothing if not been a damage to his natural stats, after all. He had no natural affinity for chakra manipulation to speak of. Where she had started off already gifted in the chakra control field and advance by leaps and bounds, Naruto staggered forwards. As it was, he seemed determined to pay off the difference with raw effort. If Naruto was seen building sandcastles or catching bugs, it was because he was out of chakra. If he was seen lying on the ground, it was because he was out of physical energy as well. One would think that the issues of Naruto's apparent inability compared to his mother, though he was supposedly her heir, might have caused a rift or awkwardness. And perhaps it might have, if only Naruto and Tsunade hadn't known such things from day one; and all parties concerned weren't dealing with the reality of his situation with only minimal concern or effort. As it was, the issue just never came up. They were just those kinds of people. You could say that when Tsunade adopted him, Naruto became her child for life. Shizune was of a similar disposition, as evident by her fierce guarding of her precious otoutou from her mentor's attempts at `corruption' and general manipulation, though he seemed more independent by now. Perhaps it was due to these strong family bonds of love that drove Naruto to join his sister in the ongoing war to get his mother to diminish her much cherished Sake and Gambling habits. Then again, perhaps Naruto was just a brash kid that had absolutely no problems with letting someone know when they were being stupid. Either way is plausible. However: the immediately relevant point is simply that during the year several subjects were touched upon. And in fact, it was half way through the year that the subject of Jiraiya's ability as a teacher came into question.

On this particular day, a now five year old Naruto was found squatting down on the ground, hunched over some object of interest. He seemed to be absorbed in whatever it was that he was doing, and so Jiraiya had no problems sneaking up to him.

Jiraiya had just made it into town. It had been a month since he'd last seen his adopted nephew, and he was wondering how the brat was doing. So here he was. “Oy, Naruto!” he prompted, startling the boy out of his revere.

“Huh? Oh, it's just Ero-Uncle” Naruto observed, standing up and dusting off his pants with one hand. “We already ate lunch, so you can't invite yourself to eat all our food today.” He held up the other hand to the sky. In it was a small blue-bird, wing finaly healed and once again ready to soar into the sky. It did so with great joy and thanks.

“Really? Damn.” Jiraiya muttered. Shizune was one hell of a cook. “I mean,” he coughed into his fist, “do you really think so little of me, Naruto?”

“It's not just me” Naruto pointed out factually. “Everyone thinks about you like that.”

Needless to say, that elicited a response. “Ungrateful brat!” Jiraiya shouted. It was one of his favourite phrases of all time.

“What are you talking about? I have nothing to be grateful for!” Naruto shouted back. “You're only good for practicing how to heal slap marks!” Well, that wasn't completely true. He also made a good test-subject for week poisons and subsequent antidotes whenever he was in particular need of divine retribution for something which usually involved him using Naruto as a scapegoat. Sure, the old man might summon some frogs to help his nephew train before running off to be perverted - but the way Naruto saw it, that was mostly the frogs being useful.

“Fine!” Jiraiya “humph”-ed. “I was going to teach you a super-cool jutsu, but I guess I'll just go research instead…” Jiraiya recited, it was another of his favourite phrases.

“Old man,” Naruto growled, “the day you actually teach me a super-cool jutsu is the day I read that perverted book of yours!” Naruto argued, pointing his finger accusingly at his uncle.

Jiraiya's eyes widened and suddenly filled with a terrible gleam. “Deal!” he shouted, grabbing Naruto's outstretched hand and giving it a vigorous hand-shake.

“Wait. What?” Naruto said dumbly. “No way, I take it back! I don't want to read your stupid perverted book!”

“Too late, brat! I may be old, but I can still trick idiots like you any day!” he gleefully proclaimed, reversing a line Naruto had used on him before.

“Whah? Buh?” Naruto mumbled incoherently. The old man had tricked him? Him? Naruto? He'd just been roped into reading a perverted book. He was in shock.

-

x-later-x

Naruto sighed. He couldn't believe this was happening. If his mother ever found out, he was dead. He sat cross-legged on the ground, watching his `teacher' take up a lecturing pose.

“Okay, kid” Jiraiya began, looking like he was actually going to take this seriously. “You know how you're always doing chakra control exercises?”

“Yeah…”

“Yet, despite your constant efforts,” Jiraiya continued, “you're still a complete failure compared to your mother and sister.”

“Shut up!” Naruto snapped.

Jiraiya internally admitted that perhaps he hadn't made the fairest comparison. Tsunade and Shizune were like gods when it came to chakra control and the brat had actually gotten pretty damn good. Of course, Jiraiya wasn't going to be the one to tell him that more than once or twice a year. “Anyway, the point is that you're always burning out your chakra” Jiraiya concluded. “It's unexpected... but because of that, you have some massive reserves for a kid your age, even with your Kyuubi suppression thing taking twenty-five percent. You could say chakra is like a muscle. The more you use it, the greater it becomes.”

“Yeah? Well, I guess so…” Naruto mused.

“So you see, you're useless attempts at getting better are good for something after all.”

“Enough already!” Naruto shouted, shaking his fist angrily. “And it's not useless, I am getting better! You said so, too!” he defended. “Just teach me, you idiot!”

Ah, sweet revenge. Jiraiya was basking in the fact that he was getting back at his nephew for all of the brat's disrespect. Which mostly centered Jiraiya's perverted work, which was very important to the frog hermit. But back to work. “Did you know that in Konoha, the Uchiha clan used to teach its kids the C-Rank technique Katon: Gokyaku no jutsu? It was some sort of rite of passage.”

Naruto blinked. Gokakyu no jutsu? Great fireball technique? “I'm going to learn to shoot a fireball?” he asked, excitedly. Oh, the first thing he'd do was toast that Ero-Baka.

“No.” Jiraiya said pointedly. “You already have the chakra for it, so we're just going to skip Housenka, Gokakyu, and all that low-rank, kiddie stuff.”

“Wait. Skip?” Naruto asked sceptically. He was getting a bad feeling about this.

“The useful B-Rank jutsu: Katon: Karyuu Endan! Here, stand like this” he said, spreading his feet apart. Naruto followed suit. “The seals are rat, horse, tiger, dog, ox, dragon, horse, hare, and tiger. Mold the chakra so that it ends up flowing into your lungs and then blow it out. Think of a `Fire Dragon' when you do.”

Naruto eventually managed to remember all the instructions. “That's a lot of hand seals, but it doesn't sound so hard. Just tiring. Okay…” he closed his eyes and began concentrating on how his chakra was molding as he slowly moved through the handseals.

“Actually, you'll probably…” Jiraiya trailed off.

“Katon: Karyuu End-Ack!” A small flame issued forth, and Naruto fell to his knees clutching his burnt lips while utilizing a few of his adopted mother's more choice swear-words. He began to flip through a more familiar set of handseals.

Jiraya watched amusedly as Naruto held up a glowing yellow palm of chakra to his mouth. “Hey,” Jiraya observed that the brat's lips were still burned, “can't you just heal it?”

Naruto shot his uncle a look as he quickly rifled through his inside coat pockets. He developed a kind of lisp from having his lips burned. “I don't know that one yet!” he defended. “I just numbed the pain a little.”

Naruto proceeded to pull out a vial of clear blue liquid and apply it to his lips. Hare, horse, bird, monkey, dog… “Kashou-nankou-fukasu no jutsu.” Another palm of yellow chakra later, Naruto was in good health.

Jiraiya's eyebrows rose.

Oddly, Naruto didn't really blame his uncle for the burn. Not that he'd let the pervert know that. In an attempt to knock his temporary teacher out of his stupor he opted to explain himself. “Since I don't know the `first degree burn heal', I have to combine an ointment of east-fire-root and the `burn ointment accelerator technique'.”

Jiraiya's eyebrows remained up. Brat was full of surprises. He actually sounded like he knew what he was talking about. With the way the kid normally talked, it was easy to forget that he actually studied.

Naruto shot his uncle a flat look. “Yeah, I didn't think you'd understand. Listen Ero-Baka, I can only heal burns if I have this bottle of stuff right now, okay? Back to work!” he snapped.

-

x-nightfall-x

The vial of ointment lay on its side - empty. The whole day had gone by with Naruto practicing, arguing with his uncle while he recovered, and then practicing again. He knew he was going to catch hell when he went home with his cloths singed as they were, and there was also the looming promise of having to read Ero-Baka's book of extreme perversion.

Naruto panted. “D-Damn thing… won't work!” he groused.

Jiraiya made a distinctly fed up sound. “It's getting late, brat. Let's call it a day. We'll start again tomorrow” Jiraiya proposed. “For the record, you're not doing well.”

“Pompous ass” Naruto muttered. “It's fine, you already taught me the damn super-cool jutsu. I'll read your stupid book, but…” he paused “I'll never become perverted like you!”

Jiraiya shook his head sadly. “Your loss.” He then handed Naruto a few sheets of paper. “You're obviously not mature enough to care about adult things, so I'll only make you read the non perverted parts.”

Relief dawned on Naruto's face. “Really? Cool…” Naruto mumbled. “Hey wait, you only gave me three pages!” Naruto protested.

“…So?”

There was utter silence for a time. Even the local animals of nature fell into silence: perhaps in shock.

“Ugh” the medic-nin in training sounded in disgust, the implications sinking in. Why did he suddenly feel a headache coming on? “Out of an entire novel…” he emphasised each word, “you only have three pages of non-perverted stuff!”

That was very true. But rather than becoming defensive, Jiraiya seemed to brighten up at this and his chest puffed out in pride. “Icha-Icha Paradise is the most super-perverted series in the world” he said severely, as if the title were of some life-altering significance. Sadly, there were probably people out there whose lives really were altered drastically by the perverted book. “Those pages aren't eve double-sided. And the books after that one have even more perverted content!” He shouted triumphantly, and with much vigour. “You should understand: Its power… is so great that I am required by law to sell a pair of nose plugs with each copy, lest first time readers suffer extreme blood loss.”

Naruto gaped. Two words: Throbbing-headache. Did people really get nosebleeds from perverted thoughts? Why, then did his uncle not always have a nosebleed? Was he so adapted to being perverted that he was immune under normal conditions? “I'll read these small pieces of you not being perverted later.”

Naruto began to slowly trudge home. Jiraiya followed suit, unsurprisingly.

Jiraiya coughed into his fist for the second time that day when he saw Naruto's raised eyebrow. “Well… I have a hotel but all the good restaurants are closed by now… You know how it is.” He said conversationally

Naruto smiled tiredly; yeah he knew how it was. His uncle was a cheap freeloader, that's how it was. “Well, since you actually weren't useless for a change, I guess I won't complain. Come on Ero-Freeloader, I'll try and keep Kaa-chan from attacking you with the egg-timer again.”

As they trudged along, there was one thing Naruto couldn't stop thinking about. “I still think it's weird that you didn't try to make me read the whole perverted book.”

“Are you kidding?” Jiraiya asked scandalously. “Your mother would beat me to death, and your sister would just kill me in my sleep!”

“Ah. That makes sense.”

-

And this closed the subject of Jiraiya's uselessness. In regards to the Karyuu Endan: after more than a week of practice and empty bottles of east-fire-root… Naruto still couldn't do it. Not ready to give up completely, Naruto nonetheless put it lower on his list of priorities. He considered it good training, but hopes of actually using the technique itself seemed slim for the near future. There was clearly something wrong. Regardless, more subjects would be addressed this year. The subject of Konoha was a bit of a touchy one for the Houous. Or rather, it was to Tsunade. Due to the scars of her past, Konoha for Tsunade was both a nest of painful memories and a place which she distrusted greatly. Unfortunately for her, at that time in the shinobi world: the country one was born in dictated the village they could become a ninja of, meaning Naruto would have to go to Konoha. It was a fact. An eventuality. And it was this eventuality that saw the Houous visiting Konoha shortly before Naruto's sixth birthday. The exact purpose itself for the visit was somehow foggy. But Konoha was something that the Houous would have to face sooner or later.

The Grand Gates of Konoha are one of the most widely known landmarks in the current shinobi world. It's not that hard to believe. The daunting sight was certainly something that one would remember and bring tales of back to his or her own village. The twin gates were constructed from trees that the First Hokage himself had called forth. With a height that easily equated to at least three stories and a density that made the wood all but diamond hard, the Grand Gates of Kohoha were - like many of the world's widely known landmarks - completely and utterly useless. They were just too damn heavy. It was impractical. In fact, due to the daunting need of at least several hardy taijutsu specialists to open and close the gate each-and-every time such an act was required, the Grand Gates of Konoha were practically never used. Still, it was a sight to behold. To a merchant that frequented Konoha, it might only warrant a small pause and short look of awe. To an assaulting enemy force, it would look like an impenetrable barrier that would strip away all hope and fighting spirit. To Shizune, it looked like something mildly interesting that she was considering sounding very exited about, for her otoutou's benefit. The fact was: Katsuyu was bigger. To Tsunade, it just looked like a big door. This most likely stemmed from the fact that she could open and close it regularly without a team of taijutsu specialists breaking into dry heaves - as if it really were nothing more than a large door.

No. It was what lay beyond that door which intimidated her. For beyond that door was fear. Uncertainty. Danger. Not for her of course.

No, damnable Konoha wouldn't take her. It struck at who she loved most in the whole world. The dearest lights of her life had been swallowed up and taken away. Because death was a release and life without your light was a living hell. Dieing heroically or whatever, dead was dead. And Nawaki and Dan didn't deserve to die, not like that. And now - Tsunade took a deep breath - she was about to walk the third and dearest light of her life straight into the village that had claimed the other two.

The sannin growled. She didn't like this, she definitely didn't like this. She was a gambler; hell the kanji on her coat meant “gamble”. But she didn't gamble with her child's life. Not ever. This was just so wrong. She wasn't an idiot, she knew that her views of Konoha were skewered at best, but when you're little brother dies on a supposedly safe and simple mission; and your significant other dies bleeding to death in your arms before you can even have your honeymoon, just as you're starting to regain hope in life not being a twisted tunnel of emotional pain and hell, well…you start to see a trend. And it's not a good trend.

This was just so wrong.

-

Little Naruto looked up at the mega sized gates before him. Of course, his head had to be craned back like crazy so that he could actually see the size of it rather than just a solid expanse of wood. As an aspiring medic-nin, he was aware that craning your neck back this much and this long was actually pretty bad for you - but wow. Those were some big doors. And on the other side of them… home?

He wasn't sure. He hadn't even ever been inside of Konoha, except for the day he spent their as an infant. Did just being born there let him call it home? If not, then where was home? Rudoku, where he'd first met his adopted uncle? Hitoro, where his mother had worked an all-time record of two weeks in a row at the local apothecary to pay off at least some of their debt for a change? Kaseigo, where his wandering family had stayed the longest?

“Kaa-chan…” Naruto finally spoke, “are we home?”

Tsunade's paternal heart endured a stab of pain at the odd question. Just what did that mean? Was all the traveling getting to him? To her, home was wherever her Naruto was. But if Naruto wanted to stay here… could she call it home? “We'll see, Naru-chan.” Tsunade promised, “We'll see.”

And now: apparently done with the sightseeing, Tsunade calmly placed her right palm onto one of the monolithic doors - and pushed.

-

Shizune watched as her mentor calmly proceeded to force open the monolithic Grand Gates of Konoha with one hand. Shizune would be the first to tell you that Tsunade was the one that worried over Naruto the most, yet she looked so calm at this point. It was an odd trait that Tsunade and Naruto were prone to exhibiting. When the moment of truth arrived, they would become suddenly calm - if fiercely determined or some such other emotion. All fretting and `what if's and `if only's were thrown out the window. Problems were quickly ascertained: then dealt with in much the same manner. The past was left behind and assumptions were prone to being discarded in an instant. Where someone else would widen their eyes in shock and lose their footing, her mentor and otoutou would narrow their eyes and decimate what obstacles stood ahead. Naruto had even coined a phrase off of that by accident one morning during breakfast conversation: “When you have nowhere to move but forwards: don't look back”.

Shizune thought it was adorable, how he'd look as if he was lecturing her when he said it.

-

Tsunade kneeled, the Grand Gates now opened. “Naru-chan… do you remember where you got your whisker marks?” Tsunade had hated to tell her son that a medic-nin had spitefully tried to assassinate him on the day he was born, but she trusted her son to be strong enough to handle the information and wasn't willing to lie about it. Her trust hadn't been misplaced.

“Yes, Kaa-chan…” Naruto mumbled, “I remember.”

Tsunade's eyes softened. “Good. Hold my hand and stay beside me, okay?”

Naruto nodded resolutely, “I promise”. And as Tsunade took his hand in hers and smoothly entered Konoha with her son by her side and her attendant trailing behind her, Tsunade wondered: what did “home” mean to Naruto?

-

x-Konoha: Interior-x

It was a generic day at the crowded outskirts of Konoha's market district. Menain it was sunny, with a few clouds drifting lazily in the sky. Tetsou, a sixteen year old local - old enough to be tall, but not old enough to look old - with brown hair and unremarkable features was taking his little sister of four years for a walk. Why? Mostly because he was sick of hearing her complain about being bored; to the point where hearing her complain about her feet being tired had become a tempting prospect he couldn't ignore. Just for a change of pace. But he also cared about her - when she wasn't looking. He prided himself in acting like a `good elder brother that really should be too mature to hang out with kids' aught to act.

A low rumbling and the sound of long unmentioned hinges creaking prompted the normal din of the market crowd to take on a new direction.

“Look! It's the Grand Gates of Konoha! They're… they're opening!”

Of course, by this point the crowd was staring in shock at the sight of the monolithic gate actually being opened. What type of terrible force was being exerted on the other side? What did this mean for Konoha? Immediately, the general public broke into hysterics.

“Oh my god!” one villager shouted. “We're being invaded!”

“No!” another disagreed, not able to imagine any human gathering able to open the three story gates. “It's a gigantic summon creature here to kill us all!”

Tetsou couldn't look away from the impossible sight. “It's some kind of horrific monster with freakish strength!”

The door finally stopped moving, and it was then that people began to recognize the figure of a blond, big-chested woman kneeling to speak confidentially with a child. It was Tsunade-sama! Of course, she was famous and widely known in Konoha, even amongst the non-ninja villager community. One could say that it was due to her being a sannin, the single greatest contributor to medicine in history, and the savoir of multitude of sick or injured. But really, it was just that she was damn impressive and looked cool. Basically, the village wanted to be proud of her. It was a morale thing. One could even say it might have been a `we're better than you are' sort of thing.

Whispers of Tsunade's name and general murmuring were heard as the newly arrived group smoothly strode up to the busy streets of Konoha. Tsunade didn't walk as if she were hurried, but she seemed to be mildly annoyed with something.

“So,” The sannin stopped uncomfortably close to Tetsou, “Now I'm a `Horrific monster with freakish strength', huh?'” She asked, eyebrow faintly twitching.

Tetsou gulped in fear. Another reason for people's knowledge of Tsunade's name may have something to do with her legendary temper which was known to cow the Hokage on occasion. Her willingness to extract said temper in impressive displays of otherworldly strength may have had something to do with it as well.

Regardless, Tetsou knew he and his sister wer toast. “Imoutou!” he shouted as he spread his arms wide in the classic `human shield' pose. “Run away and don't look back!” he screamed, “I'll distract her!”

Tsunade's left eyebrow developed a sporadic twitch. Did this brat really think she was going to grind his bones and make soup with it or something? The twitch got even worse as the brat's little sister ran into the crowd yelling “I won't forget you, Tetsou-niichan!”

That did it.

Tetsou reflexively closed his eyes as the fist came sailing at him at impossible speeds. But the force halted centimetres away from his face, and as the wind that was dragged along with the fist blew past him and he found that yes, he was still alive, Tetsou dared to open his eyes.

“Dumb brat” Tsunade muttered. From her fist which was halted inches from Tetsou's face, Tsunade's index finger rose in a swift, decisive act.

flick!

Naruto winced as he saw the poor villager go sailing into a wooden fence. His mother's mighty finger flick of death was something to be feared indeed. He was still a ways from pulling that particular move off. “Kaa-chan,” he said as he peered at the post-flicked boy, “I think you dislocated his arm.”

Shizune peered as well. “No Naruto-kun, he's just seems unconscious.”

“Halt!” A masked ANBU demanded as he appeared out of nowhere. “Welcome back Tusnade-sama. But I'll need to see some ID…”

“ID?” Tsunade asked, not quite believing that she: sannin of Konoha and summoner of five story slugs needed to present ID. “Are you telling me that there is someone else that can open those huge excuses for doors with one hand and knock a person across the street with one finger?”

“W-Well…” the ANBU floundered. “I wasn't really here to personally see either case and…” The ANBU trailed off. Oh, that had `bad move' written all over it. Just what had he done to himself?

“You should have just said so” Tsunade informed. In an instant her right hand was centimetres from the ANBU's face, ready to flick. “Here's my proof of ID.”

“No!” the ANBU shouted in an embarrassingly high-pitched panicky voice. No one blame him. “That's okay, there are enough witnesses, you see!”

“Well,” Tsunade drawled, “if you're sure.”

“I'm very sure” the ANBU whimpered.

Naruto took this time to observe his surroundings. So this was Konoha. They were on the street that led directly from the Grand Gates, obviously. The path then split up ahead. Down the right street, he could glimpse the starts of a market area. Over the left, whatever was on the street was immediately ignored in favour of staring at the hill side which had a bunch of guys faces carved into it. Directly ahead, a giant circular tower rose above the roofline. He also caught sight of a banner advertising his uncle's perverted books above a building. As well as an impressively big house to his left that was surrounded by trees. All in all, it seemed like a good place. But slowly he felt the gazes of the villagers shift away from his mother and towards himself. He wondered, would they see Houou Naruto: Tsunade's son or would they see Naruto: Kyuubi no Kitsune's container.

“We've come back” Shizune said wistfully to the wind. “It's been a long time.”

Seeing his adopted sister's apparent relief or joy at returning to her village of birth, Naruto wondered if he dared share his concerns with her. She worried too much as it was.

“Yes” Tsunade agreed, voice lined with a vague concern. “But if we say `I'm back', will Konoha say `Welcome back'?”

Naruto looked at his mother, questioningly.

The woman shot her son a smile. “Naruto…” Tsunade began softly. “Home is where someone you care about is waiting to say `welcome back'.”

Naruto's shot wide in awe at this concept, the words burning into his memory forever. Slowly, he nodded to his mother and -after a time- smoothly lifted his gaze skywards. “I'm back… Konoha”

Omake

The subject of Tsunade's gambling came to a head one morning. The roar of the argument had long since scared all the wildlife away from the Houou's current house of residence.

“I thought it was just a hobby that you spent money on!” Naruto proclaimed.

“It IS my hobby, you idiot!” Tsunade shouted back, clearly beyond ticked off at this point.

“No it's not! It's a competition -and you suck at it!” Naruto accused

“What!” Tsunade exclaimed in shock. The sting was extreme. That was a sensitive subject for her. “No more Ramen, brat!” she vengefully commanded

No more Ramen! Naruto felt like he'd suffered a terrible blow. But he regrouped alarmingly quickly. He'd have to endure, all this time he hadn't understood the true nature of this “gamble”, but now he knew. And things had gone on long enough. “It's the truth! They call you the `Legendary Sucker' Kaa-chan! You suck so much, it's legendary!”

Shizune hadn't really thought of this aspect, she'd always been more concerned about the monetary side. The whole: "we're in debt and it's both shameful and hazerdous to our livelihoods" aspect. Though her otoutou's concerns somehow fit his personality to a “T”. And of course, she was glad that Naruto was finally taking a position against her mentor's gambling. At least… she thought he was?

“Th-That…” Tsunade floundered.

“You're not even wasting our money doing something interesting; you're wasting it playing a game you suck at!” Naruto insisted. “At least waste it on something cool!”

Tsunade glared down at her adopted son. “That will change! Statistically, I have to some kind of jackpot!”

“No,” Naruto disagreed, “Statistically, you suck!”

It was at this point that a rage-filled punch sent Naruto crashing through the front door, which was thankfully open. But as he was used to being on the painful end of his mother's temper and was perhaps too fired up for his own good, Naruto was up and back in the argument in a flash. “Give up, Kaa-chan! Find something you're good at, or at least something you're not really, really bad at!”

“No” Tsunade glared stubbornly, she should have punched the brat harder. “Damnit, I want to gamble!”

“Fine!” Naruto threw up his hands in frustration. “But can't you not suck so much? Get training or something!” he demanded. “Work harder, damnit!”

Suddenly, Shizune didn't like the way this conversation was going.

“Work harder?” Tsunade asked, shocked. “Work harder? I've been gambling for thirteen !#)+-#($)+( years straight! That's training for longer than you've been alive!”

“And…,” Naruto glared, “you still suck!”

“NARUTOOOO!” Tsunade lunged. Shizune did her best to physically restrain her mentor, but wasn't going to last very long if Tsunade started to utilize her monstrous strength. “You think it's easy? I'd like to see you try!”

“Fine!” Naruto shot back. “If I completely fail, then at least you won't be lonely!”

-

It took a little effort, but Tsunade eventually managed to get the local casino to agree to let little Naruto in to gamble - but just for a day.

Tsunade, calmed down a little from yesterday, led Naruto and Shizune to her place of gamble. The establishment was quite large, but was somewhat lacking in decoration. “This is it, brat” Tsunade announced, “are you ready for this?” she challenged.

“Bring it on!” Naruto yelled back. “Nee-chan, I need my pouch.”

Shizune sighed. “Naruto-kun, I really don't think this is a good idea…”

“I have to do this, Nee-chan” Naruto insisted.

Sighing, Shizune regretfully handed over the small pouch that contained every yen of allowance Naruto had ever gotten. Ruefully, she noted that he seemed so determined and dead-set on this. She supposed he must feel strongly about the subject.

Well, as long as Naruto didn't get hurt or addicted to gambling, she supposed it was okay…

Bravely, the trio entered the building.

-

x-Casino: Interior-x

“Alright, brat,” Tsunade began, “it's a game of skill, strategy and…”

“Yeah, yeah. Let's start!” Naruto shouted bravely.

“What!” Tsunade shouted in disbelief.

“Hm, so I get five cards” Naruto observed. “And they have stuff on them. Do I win?”

Tsunade peered at her son's hand. “Four of a kind! Keep those cards and get rid of that king!” she whispered loudly. Of course, the dealer heard her.

“Okay” Naruto said as he proceeded to throw away three cards.

“What are you doing?” Tsunade demanded.

“Well,” Naruto reasoned, “I figured that since you suck so much, Everything you say must be really bad. So I got rid of some other stuff.”

“You…. You…” Tsunade mumbled, not able to express her rage.

The dealer laughed. Partially because the kid had guts. Partially because this win would be so painfully easy. He gave Naruto three cards to replace the ones he'd lost.

“Hmm, now I have a bunch of funny stuff. I think this is good.” Naruto deduced.

“You idiot!” Tsunade shouted from her spot at the side of the table. “Don't bet anything!”

“I'm going to bet all this stuff!” Naruto proclaimed, indicating his betting chips, going for broke with his theory.

Tsunade ground her teeth. For the first time in her life, she seriously considered slamming her head on a table in frustration.

The dealer grinned widely. “I'll match you” he informed. “Full house, kid” he smugly explained, putting down his cards.

Naruto made a “hmmm” sound and proceeded to look at his cards at great length, shuffling them around.

“Well,” the impatient dealer finally said, “What do you have?”

“How should I know!” Naruto snapped, “I'm just a kid. I don't play poker. I have a bunch of red guys, a ten, and an A.” he said, putting down his cards. “That's good, right?”

Tsunade stared at the Royal Flush. Of Hearts. The fact that she hadn't gotten one of those in thirteen years of gambling was not lost on her.

-

Shizune watched, torn between being upset that her Otoutou was gambling, and being pleased that he was so good at it.

“How are you doing that?” Tsunade demanded.

“How should I know!” Naruto protested. “I'm just a kid! I don't know what I'm doing. I just pull the handle. Try pushing those buttons, I think they're good.”

Immediately, Tsunade as well as every person in the casino that had been sitting at a slot machine and listen in on Naruto's conversation for some kind of miracle tip began to push random red buttons.

-

It was the end of the day, and the Houous were sadly forced to leave the Casino. Tsunade exited the main doors first, wondering just what the hell had happened. Naruto slowly followed after her, dragging a criminally large green bag of cash. Shizune followed after, pushing the other end with her shoulder.

“This is…” Naruto panted, “good training.”

“Naruto-kun,” Shizune grunted out, under the strain of pushing such a ridiculously sized bag. “We can pay off a lot of debts with this.”

“Well… okay Nee-chan. I know you worry about that stuff” Naruto consented amongst strenuous gasps for air. “But I want to use most of it for Ramen” he insisted.

“M-Most of it?”

“Yeah,” Naruto grunted, “let's go to the store first. Then it won't weigh much the rest of the way, right?”

“Otoutou…” Shizune mumbled tough her breath was short from exertion, “I don't think you could spend much of this to buy the whole shelf of Ramen.”

“Really?” Naruto asked.

“You might get it lighter if… you buy the whole store.”

“Oh.” Naruto said. He would be more excited, but he'd had a very strenuous day of shocking people by consistently winning money at impossible odds that left them so stunned, they'd been effectively robbed blind before they knew what was going on. “Well Kaa-chan, I was right. I didn't even know what I was doing, and I still won all this stuff.” Naruto lectured. “So you must really, really suck at gambling.”

“Yeah” Tsunade mumbled, having just seen several general rules of probability decimated by her own son. “You're probably right, Naru-chan. I think I'll just gamble for fun from now on.”

“Well…” Naruto muttered, still straining with the bag he was pulling. “I'm still confused about how it works. It's not really a good game” he observed. “I don't think training helps, so it's not really your fault.”

That was a surprise. “You think so, Naru-chan?” She asked. That may have been one of the nicest things she'd ever heard about her gambling addiction and unnatural ability to lose repeatedly.

“Yeah. Hey Kaa-chan?”

“Hm?”

“Were you… serious about that `no Ramen' thing?”

“That? Well… not really”

“Oh. Just checking.”

End.

I was very pleased at the apparent success that this story enjoyed. Everyone's input was quite helpful. As the reviews came in and the stats piled up: I eventually broke down and started giggling uncontrollably for quite a few minuets. Right at the breakfast table. This also got into a c2, which I thought was quite neat.

Unfortunately, I have a job working at a summer-camp for the next six days. I will not be able to type, but may have time to do a rough copy of sorts of the next chapter. I also haven't had the time to go over this chapter very thoroughly. The idea was to get this out before I left. I've just managed to finish it in time.

Rat, tiger, dog, ox, rabbit, and tiger are the handseals for Katon: Housenka, I expanded on that by putting in other handseals to get what I used for Katon: Karyuu Endan. So sadly, those are not Karyuu Endan's real seals. I will continue to do this sort of thing.

Katon means Fire Art or Fire Style, but there is no Medic Art that's mentioned in all of Naruto. All medic jutsu are just used without claiming any art, much like the Kage Bunshin. Personally, I wish I could think of something that meant Medic Art.

Kashou-nankou-fukasu no jutsu literally means burn-ointment-accelerate.

Dan is not mentioned as Tsunade's husband in the anime: only as her boyfriend. That was my intervention, so obviously the timing of the wedding was mine to make up as well.

Otoutou means little brother

Imoutou means little sister

Oniichan means elder brother

ANBU stands for Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai, which roughly comes out to "Special Assassination and Tactical Squad". Though by all accounts, they seem fairly all-purpose.

Please review.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter 4

Konoha

The Hidden Villiage of Leaves: Konoha. Its existence was both feared and respected by many throughout the Shinobi world. At one point, it was commonly believed that it was the single most powerful hidden village in the world, despite being one of the youngest. This was commonly believed to be largely due to Konoha's startling number of `Heroes'. Ninja's that rose far above the average level and transcended into another league all together. It began, of course, with the first Hokage. Tthe founder of Konoha himself: Houou Hananoki was more commonly just called Shodaime out of respect. He was known for having a unique and interesting talent: the use of Mokuton Jutsu. An entire new branch of techniques that was reserved specifically for the Shodaime. According to legend: he used his gift to construct the basic structure for Konoha in a single day. During warfare, his ability to create ramparts and drastically alter the landscape turned the tides of many battles. Then there was the Shodaime's brother, the Nidaime: Houou Idomizu, whose raw combat ability struck fear and awe into armies, and who's mastery of Suiton jutsu was acknowledged even in Mist Country. The Sandaime: Sarutobi Fuuyou was called the professor. He was known to be fair and diplomatic, but he was equally known for his near-encyclopaedic knowledge of jutsu and seemingly endless list of abilities for any given situation. The Yondaime: Kazama Arashi, also called Konoha's Yellow Flash, was a name that was borderline taboo in certain countries. After a time, he was universally deemed to be completely invincible in straight combat. Entire battalions were instructed to cut there losses and just run for their lives if they met him on the battlefield. There was Konoha's White fang: Hakate Sakumo, who was known as the ultimate assassin before his choice to neglect the rules in favor of saving his friends and his subsequent forced seppuku. Konoha, to be blunt, had consistently produced select people that were just too powerful. No one knew exactly why that was, but it was sometimes thought to have something to do with the social values of the general populace and both their accepting and their encouraging nature. As Houou Naruto trailed beside his mother through the whispering and increasingly unfriendly streets of Konoha, he found that particular explanation a little difficult to agree with.

“Relax, Naru-chan…” Tsunade mumbled, as she swept her hawk-like gaze over the whispering crowd. “We're almost there. Don't worry.”

Naruto absorbed his mother's words silently. His usually upbeat attitude subdued for a change by the speculative and gradually more hateful gazes that were beginning to surround him on each side.

Naruto did not know it, but news traveled faster than his own walking speed in Konoha, and news of the Kyuubi container's return was apparently at least twice so quickly spread. Apparently, the medic-nin that had scarred Naruto's cheeks had spread the word of her accomplishment to the villagers. Giving them the knowledge to easily identify the Kyuubi container on sight. Nearly six years away did little to dissipate Konoha's hatred towards Kyuubi.

x-Recap-x
“She used a solution on the scalpel to stop the blood from clotting; and another to stain the skin, even when I heal it. It looks like a damn whisker tattoo, except I can't remove it like one. I'd be impressed if I weren't so disgusted.”
x-end Recap-x

“Relax, Naru-chan…” Tsunade repeated. “If anyone tries to hurt you, I can kick their asses, easy.” Spying the obvious tension in the balled fist his adopted mother kept at her right side, Naruto was not sure whether she was trying to address his feelings, or her own. While there wasn't much that scared a woman like Tsunade; there was a lot that pissed her off. And seeing the villagers of Konoha gossip and glare was one of those things that just seemed to really, really pissed her off.

Shizune trailed behind her obviously annoyed mentor silently. Disgust and concern were welling up slowly inside her, though her face tried to remain carefully neutral. That was her precious otoutou those villagers were glaring at, but it was her childhood home that was doing the glaring. What should she feel at a time like this?

“I knew this was a bad idea.” Tsunade muttered spitefully under her breath. “… At least we're here.”

Naruto looked at the building of their destination. No, make that `buildings'. Before them, there was a large wooden fence, clearly cutting off the district within from the surrounding one. Two white eyed, pupil-less guards stood rigidly straight and at attention to each side of the arch that signalled the main entrance to Konoha's own Hyuuga District.

A man, standing straighter than the guards, came walking out through that arch to meet them just as the Houous reached the entrance. The event seemed as if he had taken practiced care to arrive at exactly that time.

“Ah, Tsunade-hime. How good to see you grace Konoha once again with your prescience” the rigid man greeted. Though his sentence was genial enough, not a ghost of a smile filtered across his stony set face. “Please, come in for some tea. The Houous are, of course, always welcome at the Hyuuga District Could I ask if you'll be staying long?”

If the Hyuuga's stony expression affected Tsunade at all, she didn't show it. “Tea sounds good about now, Hiashi.” She sighed, while leading the group through the wooden arch that signalled the start of Hyuuga territory. “Depending on certain things, I may be back for good.”

By the surprisingly easy exchange between Tsunade and Hiashi, it could indeed be surmised that news of the Houous arrival had stretched beyond them. The question that was brought up in Naruto's mind was that of why the Hyuugas, knowing of their arrival, had basically put out the welcoming mat as if it were a given. His adopted mother seemed to assume that she'd be welcomed by the Hyuugas as well. He pondered this as he walked slowly past traditional houses kept immaculately clean and proper on each side, still holding his mother's hand. The one story structures bespoke of either pride, wealth, or a healthy mix of both. His speculation didn't last long, as he halted it in favour of gawking at the large building that they were being led to enter.

-
x-Inside-x

Naruto sat uneasily at the low table, legs folded underneath him. His mother sat beside him. The stony faced man and who Naruto guessed was his daughter sat on the opposite side. “Kaa-chan…” he whispered to the side, “why did Nee-chan have to wait outside?”

“She's not a Houou…” Tsunade answered, as if that explained anything at all. She didn't seem to particularly care that she was carrying on a private conversation in front of their hosts, which were being ignored.

“So?” Naruto prompted. His face screwed up in confusion. “Are we some high-class family or something?” he asked sarcastically.

Tsunade's eyebrow rose delicately as if to mock such a question. “I've adopted you as my son, you know. That means your great-grand-father was the first Hokage and founder of Konoha.” She reminded. “Your great-grand-uncle was the second Hokage.” Tsunade continued listing flatly “Your grandfather was the most successful apothecary in history, and your beloved Kaa-chan is the patron of modern medical theory that doubles as a ninja on the Kage level”

Leaning closer, Tsunade peered at her son as she spoke flatly. “So what do you think? Are we a prestigious family?”

Oh shit! Naruto hadn't thought of it like that. Everyone knew that his adopted mother was the first Hokage's grand-daughter, but he'd never paid it any mind… Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit! His great-grandfather founded the damn village! His mother's work had saved thousands of important lives! He had a damn legacy to uphold! Were his clothes straight enough? Were they white enough? Did he comb his hair today? Did he ever comb his hair? Crap, he didn't! Quick: look noble!

Seeing her poor adopted son sweat bullets and give Hiashi a run for his money in the rigid posture department, Tsunade spoke up. “Relax, Naru-chan, your great-grandfather made sure we wouldn't become a clan. The Houous are just a little famous to some people… it's not like you'll have clan head responsibilities or anything” Looking at Naruto, she sighed seeing her words having little effect. Different tactic. “Besides, your great-grandfather would have already been proud of how you've lived your life until now. You don't have to worry” she informed, ruffling Naruto's oddly fluffy hair.

“Really?” he asked dubiously.

“Yes: really” Tsunade grinned, seeing the tension ease out of Naruto's posture as he seemed come to terms with the revelation. “Now get back to being the annoying brat I love so much.”

Naruto, fears abated, now bristled at the tease. Shooting his mother an annoyed look, he scolded her. “I'd insult you back Kaa-chan, but our ancestors up in heaven would be disappointed if I sunk to your level” he informed factually. Then pointedly ignored his mother's prescience all-together and turning to his host. “Could I please have a cup of tea as well, Hiashi-sama?”

Hiashi, similarly ignoring Tsunade's insulted expression, motioned for his daughter to begin pouring the tea. “Of course, Naruto-sama.”

“WAIT!” Tsunade interrupted, having recovered from Naruto's backhanded insult. “You brat, what did you say about `sinking to my level'?”

With his mother's arm suddenly wrapped around his neck, Naruto's head was pulled in closely chest in a headlock. It was a position many men dreamed of, but Naruto only knew fear. “Let go of me, you barbarian!”

All right, that did it. “Vengeful Mother's Secret Technique: Noogie of Instant Humiliation!”

“GAH! There were even handseals this time!” Naruto cried in disbelief before the Noogie session began with vengeful force.

x-later-x

Hiashi had quickly gotten used to tea with the Houous, which was decidedly different from tea with anyone else. They would be the picture of quiet nobility one moment, but were prone to short bursts of rancorous insults or general tussling. Once whatever argument they suddenly had was just as abruptly resolved, they instantly returned to their polite and dignified veneers. Seeing this, Hiashi didn't have any major problems with the odd behaviour. It was even mildly entertaining. “You may not be a clan,” Hiashi lectured, “but you are a family of greatness. The nobility, ability and intelligence shown by your forefathers are something that the Hyuugas have always respected. They accomplished great things.”

“I see…” Naruto mumbled, “then you don't mind me being the Kyuubi's container, just because I'm also a Houou?”

Hiashi took a moment to get over his surprise. The boy revealed his secret status as the Kyuubi container quite easily. “Yes. Whatever would be subtracted from you in our eyes is more than made up for in your dignified family name.”

“I understand…” Naruto nodded slowly.

“The Hyuuga have a long history with the Houous” Hiashi continued. He felt the need to ease the mind of this child, though he knew not why. “I'll say it again: the Houous will always be welcome at the Hyuuga compound. Though for now at least, you two are the last remaining Houous in this life.”

Naruto was silent. It was a kind offer: to always be welcomed somewhere. A great promise. But whether the rest of the Hyuugas would abide by that promise -and if so: to what extent- would have to be seen later.

“Hiashi-sama,” Tsunade prompted over her tea cup, “I'm going to need to talk to Sarutobi-sensie today. Please look after Naruto for me.”

“Of course” Hiashi responded as if it were a given. “Though that raises a question: where are you planning to take up residence, Tsunade-hime?”

Good question. Her old house would be a wreck from over a century of neglect. For the moment, she'd been planning to stay at a hotel.

“Because…” Hiashi led in, “the Houous will always be welcome at the Hyuuga complex” He informed once again: with a new undertone this time.

Tsunade's eyebrow quirked upwards as if to say “you're serious?” “Thank you Hiashi-sama. I'll tell Shizune to unpack.” An offer without an offer. Nothing new from the Hyuugas. She didn't really mind the game of words. The game of putting up fronts to show one's strengths while strategically hiding one's weaknesses. Listening to what is said, and what is not said. Speaking in curves and implications, instead of direct statements, all the while watching your opponent like a hawk. Trying to wheedle inside their brains with a wedge of polite inquiry. It was like riding a bike for her: it was easy to play that game even after all this time.

But hell, that didn't mean she wanted to get used to it.

Didn't mean she wanted Naruto to get used to it either.

“I'm off kid” Tsunade informed, standing up. “I'll be back later.”

“Yeah, right” Naruto said, sarcastically. He stood up as well. “I'm coming too!”

Tsunade made a disgruntled sound. “Just sit tight, brat. This is between Sarutobi-sensei and me. I'm leaving Shizune behind too. Just play with Hiashi's daughter or something. Or hell, help your sister unpack.”

Tsunade breezed past her son. She was halfway through the door when his voice paused her movement. She glanced at him over her sholder.

Naruto's deep cerulean eyes met hers, looking like wells of deep understanding. And why not? He was her precious son, after all: No book-smart genius perhaps, but certainly no-one's fool if he could help it. “Just… tell me the important stuff later, okay?”. If there's going to be news that concerns me, I want to know about it.

Tsunade's eyes flickered to the door and back to her son. Hiashi spied this as a sign of quick consideration and forethought. Tsunade let out a breath: not quite a sigh. “Fine, brat. If you're sure you can stay awake through it all”. I'd like to protect you forever, but that's impossible even for me. I still think you're too young to be protecting yourself, even a little. But you're too young for a lot of the things you've done and dealt with so far. You'll manage: I know. But any mother would worry about what that would do to you as a person.

Naruto watched Haishi follow through the door after his mother; presumably to `show her to the door'. He turned to Hiashi's daughter, who was still kneeling dutifully at the tea table. “Hey…” he began, but stopped short. Blinking, he realized that throughout one solid hour of polite conversation with side orders of tea and arguments, he hadn't ever gotten her name.

He shook the oddity off. “Hi, my name's Houou Naruto” he proclaimed. Whatever, he'd just re-introduce himself.

“U-Um…” the little girl stuttered. She was being put on the spotlight? She was deathly afraid of being the centre of attention. She had quickly learned that when she was the centre of any attention: she inevitably did something to drive her audience to hidden disgust. Steeling herself, she spoke for one of the few times since Naruto had met her. “H-Hyuuga Hinata”

“Cool, let's go play!”

“E-Eh?” Hinata was startled by the sudden outburst.

Naruto, in turn, shot her a flat look. What was there to be confused about? Did this girl not know how to play? Looking at her, she was pretty small. And dressed in that kimono: she reminded him of a doll. In fact, could she even run in that kimono? Whatever. He continued to drag the Hyuuga heiress into the garden area. “Let's play hide and seek!”

-
x-Hyuuga Complex: Central Garden-x

Naruto had someone to play with, as well as a place that would let him stay indefinitely in a village that might just end up being his home for a long time. Taking care to keep an eye out for signs of un-acceptance from the Hyuugas, he found none. Could he really stay here and not be glared at? Very cool. Things were looking up!

“Okay, I'll be `it' first! You just go hide and I'll count to twenty over by that big tree, okay? Go!”

-
x-Hyuuga Complex: Interior-x

From an overlooking window at her bedside, Hyuuga Hiatari gazed upon her daughter happily. It was both unprecedented that she would have a new friend; and that she would be playing in the main garden with that new friend. Slowly, she felt her heart bubble with a relieved happiness that rose through her chest and -upon reaching her eyes- brought tears thereof. She let them fall. And the happiness remained with her, even as the scene gradually disappeared behind a descending curtain of darkness. She would be afraid that the world was fading away from her view so unstoppably, but for now there was a very clear image of her daughter running around for a place to hide, and with that warm thought to cloak her mind with, fear could not touch her - for now.

-
x-Hyuuga Complex: Central Garden-x

“Ha! Found you!” Naruto declared victoriously. He pointed a finger at the Hyuuga heiress and grinned. “It's your turn to be it now.” He hadn't played this game in a while. It was a good game.

“Did…” Hinata started hesitantly, still crouched behind her bush. “Did I fail?”

“What?” Naruto blinked. “Fail? What are you talking about?” He seemed to take a while to seriously muse this over. “Is it possible to fail `hide and seek'? I don't think so…” he mused briefly. “No” he concluded. “It's not possible to fail `hide and seek'. I'm pretty sure it's just a game.”

“I didn't… fail?” Hinata asked, almost hesitantly.

Naruto just shot her a look. “Stop asking silly questions, already! You can fail to play well, but you can't fail `hide and seek'. You play it for fun. You're having fun right?”

After a brief period of consideration: hesitantly, Hinata shook her head.

“The hell?” Naruto exclaimed loudly. “You're not having fun?” he asked incredulously. The concept itself took a while to sink in. “YOU FAIL! Completely! Put more effort into it!”

Hinata `eep-ed' and scurried over to the tree Naruto had been at earlier.

“Now COUNT!” Naruto demanded, reminiscent of a drill sergeant.

“O-One… T-Two…” Hinata stuttered, diligently covering her eyes with both hands.

“No...” Naruto ground out. “COUNT LIKE YOU MEAN IT!”

“O-One!” Hinata cried. “T-Two!”

-
From a carefully unnoticeable location off to the side, Hiashi watched the exchange with a piqued interest.

x-sixteen `counts' later-x

“Nineteen! Twenty!” Hinata finished. She looked around. It was her turn to find Naruto.

Tentatively beginning her search, Hinata sheepishly checked several bushes only to find nothing. But wait! A gleeful snicker alerted her to what was probably Naruto's location.

Behind her?

Hinata's mouth fell slightly open in a show of surprise.

Naruto's eyes were gleaming victoriously as he clung harshly onto the one tiny, lone branch he'd managed to get up to. Odd thing was: the branch was on the big tree that was being used as the `counting spot'. He'd hid behind the very tree Hinata had started counting at. He'd hid where no sane person would ever expect him to be. He was so clever! Devious, in fact! He could not contain his glee, and cackled out loud.

“U-Um, Naruto-sama… I found you” Hinata informed.

“What?” Naruto paused his cackling. “How?” He demanded, still hanging from the tree-branch with both hands.

“Um, you s-snickered…” Hinata mumbled, embarrassed and hesitant. “And then you… c-cackled evilly…”

“Damn” Naruto swore. “It's always the cackle.”

CRACK!

Naruto needn't have concerned himself. If his snicker hadn't alerted Hinata to his presence, the much abused tree branch - which he'd been hanging from for some five minuets. Quite a feat.

“Ow…” Naruto rubbed his sore posterior. “My super-sly, devious plan of great sneakiness… ruined!” He lamented openly and with great enthusiasm. If only he could walk up the tree with chakra like his adopted mother and sister. Not for the first time, he cursed his inability to do so. The chakra control exercise somehow managed to elude him to this day.

Hinata, frankly, didn't know what to say…

“Oh well,” Naruto perked up. “Moving along…”

“Wh-What?”

“It's my turn to be `it' now!” Naruto informed.

“You're not m-mad?” Hinata asked timidly.

“Huh?”

“I f-found you…” Hinata stuttered. Would he be angry?

“…” Naruto looked at her. Really looked at her, and Hinata suddenly felt as if those blue eyes were far deeper than she'd ever remembered them being. “Did you have fun?” Naruto asked softly.

“…Y-Yes?” Hinata blinked, having been surprised by her own words. When had she started having fun? She didn't know. Somewhere between counting from the number sixteen to seventeen, she'd stopped stuttering. Somewhere between seeing Naruto snicker and then cackle, she'd learned to trust him. He really did only want to have fun. And he only wanted her to have fun, too. She could trust him… not to look down at her with disappointed eyes. She somehow felt very, very sure of that.

“Well, as long as you're having fun… then no, I'm not mad” he grinned, eyes glinting. Hinata had to squeeze her eyes shut because at that moment, the sun had seemed kiss his hair, seeming to make him shine in it's golden light - just for a second. “Okay, I'm going to count! Be ready for it! One, Two…”

Hinata broke out of her daze and `eep-ed' before scurrying off to find somewhere to hide. She did not know it, but a small, childish smile slipped onto her lips.

“… Nineteen, Twenty! Ready or not, Hinata-sama, here I come!”

Omake

Shizune's nose twitched. Instantly, she dropped the insanely large scroll that contained her mentor's backup supply of sake. Her eyes crossed comically as she peered at the twitching nose intently. It was her secret weapon against the forces of evil. Over the years, she'd found that whenever her precious otoutou was being corrupted or swearing more than was forgivable, her nose would twitch. It was her equivalent of a sixth-sense, but oh, so much more reliable. Now how she always managed to get from wherever she was to wherever Naruto quickly enough to stop the proceedings… well, that was just a damn mystery.

ZOOM!

“#)+-#$)!” Naruto swore openly, causing his playmate to blanch and cover her mouth in shock. “-#$($)!” He continued. He'd fallen from the damn tree for the sixth time! And this time he fell on a large rock! He was going to have to numb the pain with a jutsu, how ridiculous was that? Taking a deep breath, he was on the verge of beginning another lengthily list of swear words he'd picked up from his adopted mother.

It was then that the temperature plummeted. Oh - Shit. He spun just in time to see Shizune tower above him and Naruto could swear he could almost see the outline of either an undertaker or an incensed legal-court judge.

“O-TOU-TOU!” She bellowed darkly.

Oh boy, Shizune was pissed. It was all that damn rock's fault! Angrily, he glared at the offending object, which only sat there innocently, of course. In his mind, he cursed it and promised to haunt it from beyond the grave.

“I can't believe that you-!”

The horror! Naruto's mind screamed out in suffering as he had no choice but to sit through what must have been his adopted sisters own personal version of hell. For two solid hours, he was lectured angrily. How she could even keep yelling at him for that amount of time was yet another mystery that would remain unsolved for all time.

But alas his weak heart. He could not run. His love for his sister added a dull sting to her words and kept him chained firmly in place: the bond stronger than steel. Damn that rock! Even now it still sat there, playing the innocent. Its blank surface mocked him, his numbed mind insisted. It mocked him!

x-two hours later-x

Naruto kneeled, panting. His mind was numb and his energy was somehow exhausted just from living through that hell. Such... terrifying power. His adopted sister's rant was something that should be classified as an S-Rank technique. Nothing could stop its terrible might.

Shizune let loose a long, resigned sigh. “I'm sorry, Naruto-kun” she admitted. She looked it, too. “I was too hard on you, forgive me?”

Having just lived through hell, Naruto was tempted not to forgive her so easily. Alas, his weak heart. “It's okay, Nee-chan. I'm sorry too. I just fell on this rock and…” and where normal kinds might say “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!” or make hissing, pained noises without consciously wanting to, Naruto had been exposed to large amounts of swearing -on purpose. And so “Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!” was replaced by colourful expletives of varying degrees of inappropriateness.

Naruto proceeded to reiterate his tale. And afterwards, Shizune nodded emphatically, she knew where the true blame lay. She felt slightly ashamed for exploding on her precious otoutou like that, though she knew it wasn't really his fault. She couldn't help herself; the true culprit was not somewhere that she could currently scold her at. But of course, it was only a matter of time until Tsunade returned home to commence with the `real' scolding.

“I'll make it up to you, Naruto-kun, I promise. How about you two take a break for some Ramen?”

Ah, wonderful, sweet Shizune. Was it any wonder he could not have run away? “Come on, Hinata-chan, we'll have a Ramen-eating contest!” he proclaimed.

“Ch-Chan?” Hinata stuttered, voice small. It had just gone from “-sama” to “-chan”!

“Well…” Naruto scratched the back of his head. “We already play together, right? I can't keep calling you Hinata-sama…”

Hinata rolled over this idea in her head. It didn't necessarily seem normal, but Naruto clearly had his own way of seeing things. “Th-Then… N-Naruto…-kun?”

“Yeah?”

“N-Nothing, I just wanted to say your name…” Hinata mumbled, overcome with a blush. That hadn't sounded right at all! “I-Is “-kun” okay?”

“Of course! I already told you to stop asking silly questions, didn't I?”

End

It is possible for rumour to travel faster than a person can walk, especially if the rumor were treated more like critical information. It would still be very unusual, though.

I made mistakes concerning Kakashi's dad. The correction has been plugged in, but there is more information that needs to be put out there: Due to his abandonement of his mission, many lives were lost during the war that was waging at that time.

The forced Seppuku was to regain his honor.

Seppuku is a Japanese ritual form of suicide. It has actually been preformed and been commanded to be preformed.

I'm fairly sure that the Hyuuga clan members live in thier own little area of Konoha.

"-hime" is added to a name much like "-san" and "-chan", ect. It's used for princesses. Though Tsunade is not a princess, she is still called this sometimes, perhaps because of her relations, or perhaps because some people were so afraid of her and didn't want to take any chances in not grovelling enough.

The Sho-daime or Shodaime is the same as the First Hokage.

The Ni-daime or Nidaime is the same as the First Hokage.

The San-daime or Sandaime is the same as the First Hokage.

The Yon-daime or Yondaime is the same as the First Hokage.

Counting to four in Japanese: Ichi/Sho, Ni, San, Shi/Yon.

I made a mistake with the Shodaime's name. "Sho" is the formal form of "One", and is used at the start of a long list of things. I used to have Ichidaime, but Shodaime is correct.

Tsunade really is the Shodaime's granddaughter.

The Nidaime was the Shodaime's brother, if I'm not mistaken. Thus, Tsunade's grand-uncle.

Tsunade's father's history was made up by me. He isn't really mentioned in the show to my knowledge.

The name Hiatari was also constructed by youre's trully. She's Hinata's mother and once again, I don't think she's mentioned in the show. Hiashi means "position of the sun" or "daytime", Hinata means "in the sun" or "sunny place". So I picked the name of Hinata's mother as Hiatari, which means "exposure to the sun" or "sunny place".

"Hide and Seek" is a game that's sometimes played by children, for any that don't know it. It's about what you'd think it is

How Naruto will be paired is yet a mystery. If I knew -and I'm not saying that I don't- I still wouldn't tell you.

I felt horrible about the mistakes with Shodaime and Kakashi's father. Thanks for the information, as always, guys.

Working at summer camp was painful for several reasons, but I survived.

"Thank you" to all those that have showed interest in my story up until now. I've come to be proud of my story and myself just a little more than before.

This was a bit rushed. Not by much, but I wanted to get something out. We are all just fortunate that I couldn't stay for the second week of camp chef duty.

Please Review.