Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Unlikely Missions ❯ Kagemane no Yoga ( Chapter 1 )

“Unlikely Missions”

By Trio Wing

Rating: PG

A yoga bashing fic- a little Shikamaru and Naruto torture. ^__~ and it displays some of my disapproval of yoga. RODNEY YEE!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto- the characters, plot, etc, etc. And the Speedo-guy mentioned later is Rodney Yee. We watch his video every morning in Zero Period and do yoga with him. Well… kind of. It hurts. V___v

 

Part One: Kagemane no Yoga

 

“Are. You. KIDDING ME?!?” Asuma blinked non-chalantly at his student.

 

“What? You wanted a mission, and this is the only one you can handle- we've got enough A-class missions to keep the jounins and ANBU buys this month. This D-rank should keep things under control.” Asuma grinned, and put out his cigarette.

 

“ASUMA-SENSEI, I WILL NOT TEACH YOGA!!!” Shikamaru roared. Funny: Riisa and Saara thought he'd say, “Tch. So troublesome.”

 

n_n n_n n_n n_n

 

Two days later found Shikamaru grumbling in the Konoha fitness center. He had on his uniform for the day: sweatpants and a T-shirt. Shikamaru rolled out his mat and set up the yoga video they'd use for the day.

 

His first “pupil” walked in.

 

“Oh, ho! Nara Shikamaru-kun! I didn't know you took toga! Ho ho! Where's the teacher, my boy?” laughed someone's mother. `Must be a family friend', Shikamaru thought.

 

“I'm the teacher, ma'am.” Shikamaru said pointing to himself. The older woman glowered and her lips pursed disapprovingly.

 

“Now, how can that be? You're not even 18, Nara-kun!” she exclaimed with a wary-evil-but-wary look in her eyes.

 

“Uh.... Oh, look, more people…!” he said quickly. Sure enough, Riisa, Saara, Sasuke, Naruto, Gaara and Hinata walked in. “W.T.F? The authoress and her sister-that-isn't?”

 

“Shikamaru! I didn't know you took this mission!” Riisa said. Saara rolled her eyes and wrote on a piece of paper: `This fic is all yours, Shika.' Sasuke and Naruto started to argue who would sit where. Gaara sat in the back, Saara moved him over a spot, Riisa beat Saara over the head, and Hinata stood in the middle of the room, bored.

 

“I guess we should start now.” Shikamaru said to no one in particular. He played the yoga video and grimaced as a tanned guy with black hair in a pony tail and wearing an awfully small Speedo came onto the screen. Everyone settled down and followed the video's instructions.

 

Until Naruto started to whine that he couldn't do a Forward Bend, and Saara kept falling when they did a Downward Dog, that is. Gaara was fine- like an expert? Riisa was having problems with the Leg Stretches, and Sasuke wouldn't do anything. Hinata had sat against a wall and watched.

 

“AAAH! WHY DO WE HAVE TO DO FORWARD BENDS?!? I CAN'T EVEN TOUCH MY TOES!!!” Naruto cried angrily. Shikamaru was losing his temper. Quickly.

 

“Naruto, stop being so troublesome!” Shikamaru said. Sasuke snickered as Naruto glared at Shikamaru.

 

Five minutes later found Naruto whining again. And Shikamaru losing it.

 

“NARUTO, IF YOU WANT TO TOUCH YOUR TOES, FINE!!!” Shikamaru used his Kagemane no Jutsu to make Naruto touch his toes- since Shikamaru could easily do that.

 

A snapping sound emitted from Naruto's back. Saara had trouble stifling her laughter, and Sasuke looked intrigued at the howling Uzumaki. The older woman looked mortified and passed out. Gaara and Riisa ignored everyone and followed the Speedo-man on the TV's instructions.

 

“OWW!! SHIKAMARU, YOU MAY BE A CHUUNIN, BUT YOU SUCK!!!” Naruto cried, still unable to straighten his back because of Kagemane no Jutsu. Shikamaru looked at ease, bent over like that.

 

n_n n_n n_n n_n

 

“Shikamaru....” Asuma said slowly. Shikamaru looked at the ground and muttered something that sounded oddly like, “Yoga is so fxxxin' troublesome....” Asuma glared at his student out of annoyance. “I'll ask to make you a genin again if you keep behaving this way.” Shikamaru immediately shut up. Asuma cleared his throat and took a thoughtful drag from his cigarette. “So.... Why did you end up putting in the hospital, when all you had to do was push the `play' button and keep everyone under control?”

 

“...” Shikamaru looked to the side. “I was helping Naruto succeed in yoga.” he said relatively innocently.

 

n_n n_n n_n n_n

 

AT THE KONOHA HOSPITAL....

 

“AAAHH!!! DAMN YOU, SHIKAM—YAAAHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Naruto screamed as a chiropractor-shinobi fixed his back.

 

THE END.

A/N: Hahaaa. Wrote this during school. XD This was easy and fun to write, because I have to do yoga—AGAINST MY WILL. :growls: R & R, please!

 

Part Two, coming soon!: Double-Oh Ino! X____x