Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Unlikely Missions ❯ Double-Oh Ino ( Chapter 2 )

“Unlikely Missions”

By Trio Wing

Rating: PG

A spying gone wrong fix- I just got carried away.... What can I say? I wanted a title that rhymed with “Ino” and had something to do with spies, and all of a sudden I thought about `JAMES BOND!!!' Yeah. My family and I tend to watch James Bond often.... it's a little scary.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto- the characters, plot, etc, etc. And many apologies to all the spies in the world. Oh, I do love you so!

A/N: Umm, the explanation of Riisa and Saara.... See, they're two people, and they're kind of self-inserts? Sorry!!! I couldn't help it. =3 I know, stupid, but it IS amusing, no?

 

Part Two: Double-Oh Ino

 

“Ino, I'm entrusting this one to you, okay?” Asuma said. Ino just grinned and tossed her blonde hair over her shoulder. Asuma felt a little scared. “You remember that you have to be REALLY careful, right?”

 

“No problem!” Ino winked and skipped off to start the missions. Asuma sighed and shook his head. He took his cigarette and tossed it on the ground before walking to a liquor store to calm his nerves.

 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

“Ah, Ms. Ino. Glad you could make it.” a woman in her 50's said. She beckoned Ino into a back room and flicked on the light. The pleasant mannered woman suddenly had a mood swing- her facial features hardened and she scowled at nothing in particular.

 

“....so, ma'am, what would you like me to do?” Ino asked carefully. The woman turned to the girl.

 

“First of all, please call me Rainen. And.... I WANT YOU TO SPY ON THE GROCER ACROSS THE STREET!!!!” Rainen screeched. Ino nearly fell over in shock. This lady is NUTS! she though. And her name? Rainen?? THAT MEANS “NEXT YEAR,” FOR HOKAGE'S SAKE!!

 

“Sure! No problem.” Ino said, victory already in sight. “Just keep an eye on my body okay? Say I fainted.” Ino winked and dragged the older lady to the grocer Rainen hated.

 

Stepping into the store, Ino took stock of all the items for sale. Pretty nice selection. Perfect, to a degree. Next to her, Rainen was nearly having fits. She really hated this store!

 

“Hello, may I help you?” a store clerk asked Ino. The clerk, with her long brown hair and wire glasses, smiled. “My, you're pretty. And how nice of you to bring you grandmother with you!” Rainen started to breathe heavily. Ino looked enraged about being said that she was related to this kook and used her special technique: _______________.

 

“Eh-?” the clerk stumbled back, but Ino's mind still invaded the clerk's. Taking over, Ino/clerk grinned and gave the victory sign to Rainen.

 

“WHAT THE-?!” Rainen cried.

 

“Just take Ino home, let her rest.” Ino/clerk said. She shooed Rainen back to her own shop and took a look around. Ino delved into the clerk's mind- learned what to do, who people were, and discovered something highly disturbing: “I'M A BOY?!”

 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Ino-the-boy-that-looks-like-a-girl-clerk woke up in the storage room. She (he?) sat up warily.

 

“Oh, good, you're up.” The clerk's mind voice was calling out to the person for help. Of course, Ino's grip over the clerk was too strong- so, no help! “You okay? You took quite the tumble, Torihiko.” Ino/clerk blinked and looked at who was talking to her.

 

“Ah! Manager Kotoshi!” she (he?) said. Thank Hokage I remembered to get names.... Ino thought. “What happened?”

 

“You fainted. Right in the middle of an aisle!” Manager Kotoshi stepped into Ino's vision and felt her (his?) forehead. “Well, you don't seem to have a fever. Maybe it was just stress?”

 

`Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooohhhhhh,' went Ino's subconscious. It `ooh'ed and `aah'ed over how CUTE Manager Kotoshi was. The clerk, Torihiko, was still awake and mentally tried to beat down Ino's Boy-Sense. Um, much to the authoress's dismay, the subconscious won over and the clerk stayed quiet.

 

“M-maybe.” Ino said, liking this crazy-assed mission more and more by the minute. Manager Kotoshi leaned towards Ino and gave her a scrutinizing look. He looked like he was in his early 30's, and pinched Ino/clerk's cheek sharply.

 

“Get to work!! Boss Lady will castrate us BOTH if we start slacking, you know that!”

 

“Ye- I- Right on it!!” Ino/clerk cried, jumping up and scurrying out of the storeroom. CASTRATION?!?!? Ino's mind screamed. The clerk's mind voice just rolled his mind eyes in dismay. Ino/clerk stocked some shelves, since that's what Manager Kotoshi told her (him?) to do.

 

“TORIHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIKOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!&# 8221; came a shrill voice from somewhere in the store. Ino involuntarily twitched and strained a muscle in her neck.

 

“Owwwww!! It hurts!!” Ino/clerk cried. She (he?) clamped a hand on her (his?) sore neck and with the other hand, put down what she (he?) was holding. Immediately after Ino's cry of pain finished leaving her mouth, a mad patter of footsteps was heard headed in her (his?) direction.

 

“IS MY WITTLE TOWIHIKO OKAYYYYY?!??!?!?” came the shrill voice again, this time from around the corner of the aisle. Not even a second later, a small body came flying around the corner and ran straight at Ino. She balked, and took a step back. The body kept going, and ended up glomping Ino/clerk rather tightly.

 

“U-uh... I... I can't br-breathe...” Ino gasped as the arms around her squeezed tightly. Her light headed vision focused on what had grabbed her, and saw a rather short woman in her 30's or so there. A very bright smile flashed in Ino's face, nearly blinding her. Why does that smile look so familiar? Ino thought.

 

“TORIHIKO!! What's wrong? What can Gaare-chan do for you???” Ino gulped in fear. This woman was SCARY!

 

“O-oh, no, I'm fine, uh, Gaare-chan.” Ino said as the woman's grip on her relaxed. The woman let Ino/Torihiko-the-clerk go, and peered at Ino with awfully familiar squinty-ish eyes. And.... Those thick eyebrows!! THOSE LOOK LIKE GAI-SENSEI'S EYEBROWS!!!! Ino's mind screeched. The clerk told Ino as she was having her mental fit that Gaare-chan is Gai's older sister.

 

“Ho ho! Well, you tell your Aunty Gaare-chan if you need anything!” the creepy lady said. But before Gaare left to tend to the cash registers and scare the paying customers, she turned to Ino/Torihiko with a squinty glare. “If that crazy kook Rainen comes by, call the medi-nins!! She's been trying to kill me for so many years!!! I'm still not so sure why.... We go waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay back, we do!” and this is where Gaare-chan went into the infamous RANT OF YOUTH!!!!!!!! as repeated and edited by Gai-sensei.

 

Ino shuffled slowly away from the short woman and left Torihiko's body. Her spirit returned to her proper body across the street at Rainen's shop, and silently apologized to Torihiko profusely as she regained her senses.

 

Blinking her kunoichi-regulated-big eyes slowly, she tried to guess where she was. Bed... Window... Dresser... Book case full of spells instead of jutsus... Massive toad staring at me like I'm dinner... Curtain—WAIT! MASSIVE TOAD STARING AT ME LIKE I'M DINNER?!?!? Ino's mind panicked. She sat up suddenly and ran out of the room screaming at the top of her lungs. She left Rainen's house and kept running down the streets as if she was racing Sakura to see who would meet Sasuke first, like they used to do.

 

Back in the room, the massive toad did a POOFing thing and Rainen sat on a rocking chair with a green quilt over her lap. She looked quizzically at the door that was now hanging by one hinge and occasionally squeaking due to the pain Ino inflicted by gripping the door handle too hard.

 

“Hmmmmm? What was that about, I suppose?”

 

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

KONOHA HOSPITAL....

 

“THOSE PEOPLE ARE CRAZY! NOT ME, I SWEAR!!!” Ino cried, trying to get free of the orderlies that decided that Ino was becoming a danger to her surroundings. “Please! Let go! I- I'll give up loving Uchiha Sasuke if you let me gooooooooooooooooo!!” The doctor in charge of Ino quirked a bushy eyebrow worriedly. He fidgeted with his white medi-nin coat and told the orderlies to bring Ino to the psychiatric ward for the moment.

 

Unfortunately for Ino and her Sasuke Obsession, Uchiha Sasuke was just checking out of the hospital for getting in ANOTHER fist fight with Naruto. Over petty stuff, as usual, nothing to worry about- except maybe seeing Gaare-chan in the hallway making poses that were WAY too similar to Gai-sensei's very own infamous ones.

 

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! I SWEAR I WILL NEVER USE ________ EVER AGAIN!!!!!!!! LET ME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

 

From a distance outside of Konoha, Torihiko, the clerk Ino took over, was running for his life. Konoha is scary!!!!!!!! he thought as he kept stumbling over roots. He just kept running, and running, and running, just like the Energizer Bunny ©!!!!

 

THE END.

 

A/N: This chapter is longer than the previous one. I don't know what came over me. Really!! Actually, I almost thought of making this chapter longer, but I decided not to, since it's past 11 P.M. here on the East Coast. :sigh: Read and review, please!!!!!!!! I will love you FOREVER if you do!!

 

Sasuke: I thought you loved ME?

Shikamaru: ...no, I'm pretty sure it was me, Mr. Troublesome.

Sasuke: You've got to be kidding yourself. It's me, Deer-Boy.

Shikamaru: ...do you find girls so troublesome that now you're gay?

Saara: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Sasuke: LOOK WHAT YOU DID!!!

Shikamaru: Tch. How troublesome.

 

06/01/06

 

A/N: about 10 minutes later, I just realized that the title does not pertain to this chapter AT ALL. ^.^;; sorry!!!!! XD Forgive the insane. Nyahahahaha!