Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Weapon Encounters of the Third Kind ❯ Anvil ( Chapter 1 )

Summary: Tenten, Weapons Mistress. She uses weapons of all kinds, conventional and unconventional, ranging from anvils to stuffed teddy bears. And you'd better believe that she can. (Series of vignettes about the various weapons Tenten uses. XP)

 

Toboe LoneWolf: Because Tenten can use bombs like zomg. XP The sheer variety of weapons Tenten can use is just way too much fun to think about. This is fic is basically going to be one-shots/drabbles on weapons Tenten uses - but the reaaaaally unconventional kinds, like anvils. XP There may be pairings, because weapons bondage using whipped cream or other things is "teh awesome." XDXD Some may be humorous, some not. And some of them may be AU, because I have got to have Tenten using nuclear weapons ('nuff said). But they're all going to have really fun weapon pawnzoring, creative crazy Tenten-style.

 

That said, this particular chapter. Because I couldn't get the idea out after my fic Whipped. Because it's a classic cartoon gag. And because Tenten dropping Big Huge Heavy Whopping Things would be "teh awesome."

 

Disclaimer: Toboe LoneWolf does not own Naruto. The dude named Kishimoto does, and I'll bet he owns a kunai somewhere. Or maybe a katana. XP

 

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Weapon Encounters of the Third Kind

 

Weapon: Anvil

 

Anvil:
a sturdy piece of iron onto which heated metal is placed to be beaten into the required shape, especially by a blacksmith

 

A shinobi should be learned in the way of traps. How to recognize them, how to avoid them, how to get out of them if you didn't avoid them, and how to set them yourself. In the Academy, they learned the typical snares and nooses and foottraps, pitfalls and deadfalls, trip wires and hangings, genjutsu triggers and regular triggers, and how to use the surrounding landscape to create a trap.

 

Neji was fairly certain anvils were not on the list. Anywhere.

 

Nevertheless, Tenten was trying to convince her genius teammate that yes, using anvils was a feasible idea, and he should help her test such usage in practice today, to gauge its range and effects and…possibilities. And so forth.

 

"Come on, Neji! It'd be awesome! See, the guy trips the wire, and then boom! It crashes down on him!" Tenten waved her arms, demonstrating just how big a crater she expected to create.

 

Lee, of course, was all for it.

 

"Yes Tenten! Let us crush him with the supreme weight of youth!" Lee pumped his fist, turning to Neji to join in with the enthusiastic arm waving. "Come Neji! Show the power of youth!"

 

Neji twitched his eyebrow. "I'm fairly certain that using anvils will…render the person incapable of showing any 'youthful spirit.' Permanently."

 

Tenten rolled her eyes. "That's the point."

 

Neji closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead. "Let me get this straight. You want to try setting up a new trap. A deadfall trap. A deadfall trap using an…anvil. And your primary reason for doing so is because it would be 'awesome' and would create a very large crater."

 

"Yeah?"

 

"Do you just like big explosions?"

 

Tenten blinked. "Well, yeah." She tilted her head. "Not that I don't appreciate silent attacking, it has it's own thrill and all; but sometimes it's just fun to set off a great big 'boom.' "

 

"You do realize this has no practical use at all?"

 

Tenten grinned. "Oh come on, Neji. Anything can be a weapon in my hands."

 

x x x x x

 

Just three missions later, Neji was forced to reconsider the practical use of anvils. He looked at the last line of the report he needed to fill out.

 

Means of Elimination (if applicable):

 

He recalled the vision of Tenten standing proudly at the center of the blacksmith's shop, their target taken down.

 

Very down.

 

Very squished down.

 

"Hey, it went even deeper than when we tried it!" Tenten bent down and looked at the dent. Roughly she measured the depth with her hands. "About two hands width. Awesome!"

 

"Yes Tenten! You have stopped him with the weight of youth!" Lee cheered.

 

Neji just stared. They'd been chasing their target when he'd run into the blacksmith shop, and with its crowded surroundings their target had an unlimited supply of weapons. For some time their target had been able to avoid all of their attempts to bring him down, being disturbingly uncanny at avoiding their attacks, able to dodge even precision strikes.

 

Until Tenten dropped the anvil on him.

 

In slow-motion, as all such recollections are, the impending doom of the anvil had come down on the man with deliberate finality. Neji had still had his hand out in a Jyuuken strike as the man collapsed under the heavy weight. Tenten dropped down from the shop's rafters, grinning madly.

 

With a sigh, Neji finished his report.

 

Means of Elimination (if applicable): Death by falling anvil.