Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Yoai Fan Girls ❯ Jiraiya's advice ( Chapter 3 )

Yaoi Fan Girls

 

Chapter 2: Jiraiya's advise. ~ Girls who write porn are out of your league...

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Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN NARUTO!!

A/N: Ages (legal drinking age in Japan is 20, I'm pretty sure, and if it isn't, oh well.)

Hinata - 19

Kiba - 20

Naruto - 19

Sasuke - 20

Sakura - 20

Hanabi - 14

Gaki = kid/Brat (it's what Tsunade calls Naruto)

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Throughout the streets of Konoha that day a shocked and hopeless scream was heard, until it died around, oh let's say... five in the afternoon, when Kiba decided to mope at a bar. He ignored the patient woman who was waiting on him, kind as she was, he was depressed. Hinata was a pervert, not just a normal dirty minded young woman with a few dirty magazines, oh no! She was an all out yaoi fan girl who peeped and made her own porn! He would probably never look at Naruto or Sasuke the same way ever again! Especially Naruto, after the full on drag costume and fake boobs. Sighing, he ate some of the onigiri he had ordered. Today had just been too weird.

Jiraiya had just collected enough research to fill the remainder of his note book and decided to get sake and white onion at the nearest bar to celebrate. After placing his order and sitting down, he noticed the gloomy young man in the corner, eating onigiri and drinking sake down like it were water, and for some reason he looked familiar. “Oi, Gaki! Don't I know you?” The twenty year old looked at him, depressed and dazed from being distracted. “Uh... My name is Inuzaka Kiba, and you're the dude Naruto calls Ero-sannin.” He stated simply, he seemed to be a boring drunk, and what else did you expect from boring drunks?! Jiraiya raised his right hand to hold his chin while the left rested on the opposite arm's upper half, closing his eyes and smirking. “I am no ordinary pervert; I am a great pervert, the most perverted pervert of all time!” Kiba looked at him dead panned. “I think Hinata might have you beat in being the most perverted pervert, Ero-sannin.” He responded dully, swirling his little dish of sake before downing it, ignoring the outraged pervert. “WHAT?! NO ONE CAN BE MORE PERVERTED THAN I AM!! ALL OTHER PERVERTS HAIL ME!!! I PLEASE EVERYONE AROUND ME!!” (1) He stood and pointed bug eyed at Kiba, his pride as a pervert insulted. “Oh? Then why do most girls that you spy on slap you and run away, screaming `PERVERT'? That doesn't sound like you're pleasing them.” He refilled the little sake dish, downing it before losing composure. “WHY DOES SHE HAVE TO BE A WEIRDO PERVERT?!!” He cried and buried his head in his arms still wailing at the injustice of it all. Jiraiya blinked, and stared. “Oi, you really like that girl, don't you?” He asked blinking; this kid really was a weirdo when he was drunk. “Yes! And she's a perverted YAOI FAN GIRL!!” He wailed hopelessly. Jiraiya nodded in a wise fashion. “Tell me more about what happened I might be able to help.” So the slightly drunk Kiba told him about the would-have-been date, the passed out Hinata and her pocky, and lastly, with great deal, the clip of the video with it's ultra feminine Naruto. Jiraiya got a nose bleed from that and managed to squeeze some information about that into his notebook, all the while grinning perversely and chuckling. “Then I just ran away screaming, I couldn't help it, I mean it was HINATA!!! MY SHY, STUTTERING, CUTE, LITTLE HINATA-CHAN!!” He wailed, pounding on the bar in frustration, before just reaching for the little white bottle and was about to have some more of the strawberry flavored sake when Jiraiya took it away. “Oi, Gaki! Calm down, it's not like you could get her anyway, girls that write porn are out of your league, I mean WAY out of your league.” This just made Kiba even more depressed, and so he pouted at the counter, cursing. Jiraiya frowned; this girl seemed to be a worthy rival. However, no one was about to take the title of the most perverted pervert from him, not if he could help it!!! A wicked plot that would benefit both popped into his devious mind and he began to whisper his plan to the Inuzaka conspiratorially.

Hinata was grumbling to her self as she walked the streets of Konoha, determined to find Kiba and make things right, after dropping off the twenty new homemade yaoi films at Tsunade's office. Shizune and Tsunade were sure to get their kicks out of it, as always, however that didn't seem to matter as much today. She couldn't help but feel slightly guilty that she had scared Kiba away, especially after she found the lilacs he had left behind. Sighing, she walked past a bar and was about to keep walking on, when she heard Kiba start screaming. “Then I just ran away screaming, I couldn't help it, I mean it was HINATA!!! MY SHY, STUTTERING, CUTE, LITTLE HINATA-CHAN!!” She continued walking and hid around the side of the building, listening in on the conversation. “Oi, Gaki! Calm down, it's not like you could get her anyway, girls that write porn are out of your league, I mean WAY out of your league.” Hearing Kiba curse his rotten luck, Hinata looked down and started walking away, leaping up onto the closet building's roof and taking off towards Sakura's house. The girl had claimed herself to be the queen of romantic relationships, and had become friends with Hinata over the years and also one of her best customers. The pink haired girl would probably kill her if that ever got out however. That thought lightened her mood, as she set out to ask Sakura's advice. She was pleased with herself for bring a spare copy of the master video as a peace offering for the girl and a bribe for help. Porn made everyone happy, gosh, if everyone spent more time getting off rather than fighting, the world would be a very happy place indeed. Snickering, she rang the door bell of the Haruno residence and was greeted by Sakura herself wearing a bandana and apron over her normal clothes. She smiled at the silver eyed girl, inviting her in. “Hey, Hinata! So what's going on?” Hinata smiled softly back, removing her shoes before following Sakura into the kitchen area. “I need your advice, and I have a new video for you. It's like nothing we've seen from them before, when I first saw it, it shocked me and got me into an umm... awkward situation, well, to be more accurate, the situation that I need your help on.” Sakura sat a small mug of hot chocolate in front of her friend and leaned on the counter top. “So what happened?” Hinata sighed and rolled the mug between her palms. “Well, earlier this afternoon, I was making the final touches to the latest films before I went and delivered them, and well....” She coughed uneasily. “I-it was REALLY good footage, let's just say that, and I well... passed-out-from-a-nose-bleed.” She finished quickly, making Sakura laugh her ass off, rolling around comically on the ground. “I wouldn't be ashamed to admit it, I'm a pervert among perverts, and everyone's better off now that I have realized it. However, Kiba walked in on me after I had passed out and accidentally left the video going, and my door unlocked.” Sakura froze mid roll. “Shit.” Hinata nodded and took a small sip from her mug, very sad. “He passed out from shock and when I woke him up, he just jumped up and pointed at me all bug eyed and ran out.” She pouted. “He even brought me a little bunch of lilacs.” Sakura smiled and gave her stressed out friend a large loud slap on the back. “AW! Come on now Hinata! It's obvious he really likes you! He's never tried this hard with anyone else!” Hinata sighed and slumped. “That's the point, Sakura; he likes shy, stuttering, cute, little Hinata-chan. I don't think he really cares for Hinata - the pervert among perverts, and Yaoi fan girl extraordinaire.” Sakura nodded, still beaming. “Well, if he really loves you he'll get over it and just accept you for who you are.” Hinata smiled, Sakura always knew exactly what to say to get her friend happy and confident again. “The movie's on me, Sakura, remind me later and I'll get you master copies for the rest of the month too.” Sakura got an evil fan girl smile and began to laugh evilly, blooding dripping from her nose. “Uh... Sorry to chat and run, Sakura, but I should probably go straighten things out with Kiba-kun.” She said smiling nervously while backing away towards the door. She abandoned any trace of caution, however, when Sakura got an evil look in her eyes, and ran out the door, shoes in her hands as she ran down the street, almost running over several people in her haste. Among those who had avoided being in her path were Naruto and Sasuke who stared after her. “Huh, I wonder what's wrong with her?” Naruto asked curiously while the Uchiha gave his `hn' in response before continuing to drag Naruto back home for yet another ... uh.. “romp” together, as fast as he could because he was horny dammit! ^_^

Kiba nodded in agreement as Jiraiya finished outlining his brilliant scheme to him. “Why, Jiraiya-sama, I must say, you are a pervy genius!” Kiba stated evilly as he fought the urge to cackle evilly. Jiraiya nodded, and patted Kiba on the back. “Well, I have my status as the greatest Hentai ever to uphold after all.” Kiba suddenly couldn't sit still, and jumped up into a heroic pose. “Come on, ya pervert, I have a fan girl to tempt!” Jiraiya gave him a dirty look. “Tskh, stupid little brats think they know everything anymore.” Kiba stopped, mid rant. “Huh? What was that?” Jiraiya waved it aside. “Just go get your part of the plan done, Inuzaka.” He replied impatiently, he didn't really care for the kid too much, but might as well help him out if it was so convenient for him. Plus, it had been a long time since anyone and presented such a challenge to his peeping skills and level of perverseness. Chuckling evilly he decided to start preparing for the upcoming challenge.

Kiba delivered scrolls all around town, asking ninjas that were interested and had the time off to please judge a contest of who was indeed the most perverted ninja of all. The last house he came to was Hinata's, and he knocked on the door. Hanabi answered looking extremely annoyed. “What do you want? Hinata's out in her little garden if you want her, otherwise, leave now.” Kiba frowned. `Jezz, what a little bitch! No wonder Hinata doesn't really like being around her family.' Instead of voicing his opinion of the little wench, he forced a twitching smile. “Oh really and where is her garden, Hanabi-san?” He asked through clenched teeth. Hanabi simply pointed to the right side of the house hold and spat out “around the back” before slamming the door shut in his face.

He sighed and walked around the corner to see Hinata sitting by a koi pond, holding the bouquet of lilacs he had meant to give her. His heart pounded as she looked up at him and all he could think about was what Jiraiya had said earlier. `Oi, Gaki! Calm down, it's not like you could get her anyway, girls that write porn are out of your league, I mean WAY out of your league.' His brain short circuited. “HEY-HINATA-I-WAS-ASKED-TO-GIVE-YOU-THIS! I-HOPE-YOU-LIKED-THE-FLOWERS-I-GOT-YOU!” He stopped to catch his breath and she smiled softly at him. “Kiba-kun, I was wondering-” she started as she stood up. “I-GOT-TO-GO-SORRY-HINATA-SEE-YOU-LATER!!” He shouted, trusting the scroll into her hands before running away, back home where he was safe from all these damned perverts. He felt like he was forgetting something important though... “ACK@!! AKUMARU!!! I'LL SAVE YOU AKAMARU!!” He shouted, veryying towards the Uchiha household where he had left Akamaru when he thought that he would be taking Hinata out on a date. “DON'T CORUPT MY PUPPY, YOU PERVERY PERVERTS!!!!” He screeched as he left poor Hinata sitting in confusion with the challenge scroll in her hands.

 

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All those who attended C.N. Anime 2004's Masquerade remember when the host said the bolded line and people stood up and hailed him for a good ... 5 minutes? ... Yeah, good times, good times... ^_^

Also, I know, not too much Yaoi yet, this is mostly about the Yaoi fan girls that actually make Konoha's vast hardcore yaoi porn supply via peeping and the honor battle of perverts. I know I should put more yaoi in here, however that will have to wait till the competition begins. Bwahahahahahahaha.... ^_^