Naruto Fan Fiction ❯ Yoai Fan Girls ❯ The battle begins ( Chapter 4 )

Yaoi Fan Girls

 

Chapter 3: The Porn Showdown part 1! ~ The Super Blatant Pervert vs. The Pervert Among Perverts!

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Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN NARUTO!

Moonlight Angel- Thank you for the review! I'm glad that you like the story so far, and I'll update as much as possible.

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Sasuke watched in annoyance while Naruto petted Akamaru behind the ears, while talking to him in an extra perky voice. He couldn't take it anymore!!! THE MUTT WAS RUINNING HIS CHANCES OF GETTING LAID!! He stomped off outside, and Naruto followed him shortly. “Sasuke-teme, what's wrong?” Sasuke looked down at him, noticing Akamaru wasn't around; he smirked while a chibi version of himself did the dance of a joyous pervert. He grabbed Naruto and pinned him against the side of the house, and feeling extra lecherous, he grabbed Naruto's ass, making him blush and squirm. “Not now that you're out here with me, dobe.” He said with a smirk, before kissing Naruto. After several minutes of really uh... “getting into it”, a shrill cry of “I'll SAVE YOU AKAMARU!!!” Interrupted them as a hysteric Kiba ran past them and into the house, effectively ruining the mood. Sasuke could feel several veins in his forehead twitch uncontrollably as Naruto restrained him from killing Kiba. Several minutes later, Kiba walked out with Akamaru at his side, only to discover a desperate Naruto trying to keep a livid Sasuke from killing him by ... sitting on him?! Kiba just looked and blinked, bug eyed. “KIBA, YOU LITTLE PRAT!!! I COULD SERIOUSLY KICK THE SNOT OUT OF YOU!!! JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT GETTING ANY, DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO RUIN EVERYONE ELSE'S CHANCES!!!” Sasuke raged while a scared Naruto tried with all his might to keep his seme pinned down. He smiled nervously at Kiba, laughing uneasily. “Uh.. You guys might want to consider running away, I don't know- ” He didn't get to finish his sentence as Sasuke got up and went after Kiba. The Inuzuka wasn't stupid enough to stick around and ran the other way. Naruto's heart felt calls of “RUN, KIBA, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!!!” following him as he raced out of the Uchiha district, Akamaru at his side, equally terrified. Man, today just not his day... -_-; After several hours of chasing the canine shinobi all around the village, he caught him. He was a bit startled when the Inuzuka thrust a scroll under his nose. “What is this, Inuzuka?” He asked menacingly, and Kiba laughed nervously. “Uh.. Jiraiya-sama asked me to pass these scrolls out, and I figured that you and Naruto might want to be involved.” Kiba silently patted himself on the back, the Uchiha would be off his back and hopefully forget his anger. He sat quiet as Sasuke read the scroll, and meeting the Uchiha's gaze when he looked up. “Why would Jiraiya challenge Hinata to a duel of perverseness, of all people?” Kiba looked put out, and started bawling - loudly he might add. “HINATA IS A PEEPING YAOI FAN GIRL!!” and “A PERVERT AMONG PERVERTS!!” Were the only coherent sentences that Sasuke got out of it, and he just blinked at Kiba. “Oi, Kiba, what the hell are you talking about?” Sasuke was confused, and he didn't like that, he just wanted to know what the heck was going on, he was not being “a shoulder to cry on”. No way in hell, would an Uchiha ever admit to that! Nope, he was simply curious, that was all! *Sasuke does the shifty eyes.* So, Kiba explained his dilemma to Sasuke, but left out who it was exactly that he had seen in the video, because he was fairly certain that would lead to certain death, a road he was not fond of. Sasuke decided to spare him his wrath because the poor guy had said that he saw `one of his male friends in convincing drag', and was a little startled by `how mother playing hot he was as a chick'. “Get over it, Baka, it's not like you don't have tons of porn and kinky shit yourself, so what's the problem with Hinata having any of that stuff? She has as much a right to as you.” Kiba looked at the Uchiha, a little embarrassed by what the other had implied. “Besides, that doesn't change who Hinata is, and you might find that you like Hinata more for who she really is.” Sasuke huffed at talking so much, and turned away in the direction of his home. “Next time you interrupt my `molest Naru-chan' time, I will beat you into a pulp, Inuzuka.” He growled then raised his hand in farewell while walking away with an indifferent “Ja.” Probably to have his `molest Naru-chan time' as he had called it. Kiba sighed as he started heading home with a quiet Akamaru at his side, these violent perverts would be the death of him. He couldn't help but think over the Uchiha's advice as he and his canine companion hopped tree to tree. He was starting to get really interested in Hinata now, and wondered what else she did with her free time and what she really thought and felt.

 

------------------------------- Next morning at the Hokage's tower -------------------------------

 

Jiraiya smirked confidently at Tsunade as he leaned against the wall. “So this girl has never so much as been kissed before, and you are certain that she is at least my rival if not my better at perverseness, Tsunade-hime?! You have to be kidding me!” He laughed stupidly, while Tsunade and Shizune frowned, and Tsunade gave Shizune a solemn nod that got Jiraiya to stop laughing. Shizune stepped up to the large walk-in closet of the room and opened it. Hentai yaoi videos and boxes of still frame shots literally poured out from it. “Hinata-sama's work from the past year, when she first began, her uh... `exploits', as you would say.” Jiraiya blinked at the huge supply of porn. “Please tell that she didn't-” Tsunade picked up on where he was going, and stopped him dead in his tracks. “No, you pervert, these aren't directed pornos, these are all peeping on real couples that actually love each other, you weirdo perv, did you think Hinata would be as demeaning as to treat sex like a film business?” Jiraiya knew that to answer that question with either truthful words or silence meant certain death and castration, so he chose to change the subject, thus saving his life and his equipment. “No, you know me, just curious, but don't you think peeping is unfair for the contest? It's obvious that we're both pros and other people's intimate moments don't really show which one of us is truly the most perverted.” Tsunade looked to Shizune. “We will let you two pick ONE video each and make you watch the other's video, the one that can't take it or is too mentally damaged from it will lose that round.” Jiraiya looked almost too smug at that, so Tsunade continued with a smirk. “HOWEVER, since you summoned your judges to come here today of all days, you shall have to wait until after the first two tasks to do that.” Jiraiya grumbled and left the room to get some coffee, it was just too damn early! Hinata walked into the office a few minutes later and bowed to her Hokage. “Good morning, Hokage Tsunade-sama, and to you too, Shizune-sama.” She said politely and Tsunade smiled warmly at her in return, she liked the Hyuga, she was a good kid with a good heart, not to mention she enjoyed Hinata's yaoi works, especially her manga, yep her manga was the best of her works. “Good morning, Hinata, let's go over the rules of the competition, shall we?” Hinata nodded and listened carefully. “First we shall pass out copies of one of your typed works, then one copy of one of your manga works, and volunteer judges will judge your works and vote to see who wins. Then later each of you will pick your worst, I mean your favorite homemade video and have the other watch it, the most disturbed one will lose that round.” Tsunade smiled and ushered her out into the hall while she and her apprentice followed. Out in the hall were several ninjas, the most painfully obvious one was Kakashi as he dancing about, unable to hold still for even a nanosecond, giddily muttering `porn' repeatedly. Shizune clapped her hands together and pulled a giant box out of no where. “Welcome, judges to the battle of perverseness! Now if you will all line up, we shall pass out supplies!” Yep, Shizune was a morning person, well, rather a `morning pervert'. As Shinobi and Kunoichi passed her on their way through the door of the room, she handed the metal pail which contained a copy of each of the contestants' written works and a rather large box of tissues. Tsunade started a stop watch as the door closed after the last judge entered. “So, how long do you think they will last, Tsunade-sama?” Her Hokage smirked and held up her hand, slowly pulling one finger after the other to meet her palm, she only got to four before blood from nose bleeds smattered on the door's window. “DAMN!!! HINATA- SAMA, YOU WRITE DAMN GOOD PORN!” Was heard from Kakashi, followed by Naruto's squeaky protests of “Sasuke you bastard! WE CAN'T DO IT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT NOW!!!” Several yaoi fan girls cheered them on, and shoved Naruto into a French maid outfit before handing him over to Sasuke. “THANKS GIRLS!!” He shouted as he ran from the room with Naru-chan over his shoulder. “SADISTS!!! I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!!!” Tsunade and her apprentice were on the floor in hysterics. “You know what Tsunade-sama?” The Hokage took a deep breath, trying to get calm again. “What, Shizune?” Her apprentice snickered. “I don't think Naruto will be able to walk properly for awhile after Sasuke's done with him.” Both went into hysterics while vast amounts over tissues became bloody in the next room as the battle of perverseness began.

 

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I hope anyone reading this likes it, I certainly get a kick, but I would like to know who you guys think should win, so please review and tell me. ^_^ Later!