Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Fan Fiction ❯ My Guardian of Bloody eyes ❯ How Do I Make Everything All Wiggly? ( Chapter 7 )

Authors notes: OIY! Man it has been a while. (Konous' readers throw fruits at him for taking so long.) I'm sorry with how long this chapter took me; people have been demanding that I continue Watcher in the Dark, well now it's time for me to catch up on lost time.

My Guardian of Bloody eyes chapter 6-Wait! How do I make every thing all wiggly?

Ramiel was a well known Angel in heaven. When he walked (or floated) down the street people screamed his name, begging for his autograph. However he had trouble giving them the autograph, due to the fact that he lacked hands.

Yes few could deny his greatness; he had past angel school just 2 years after receiving his soul (the same one he was currently in possession of.). And here in the mortal plan, his AT-field could protect him from any form of bombardment that the puny lilum could throw at him. And even if they some how found a way past his AT-field, his skin was harder, and tougher than any material on the planet. The proton energy cannons located at every corner of his body could obliterate any form of matter in just seconds!

No one could deny it:

Ramiel was strong!

Ramiel was powerful!

Ramiel was great!

Ramiel……………………& #8230;………………………… ;….was lost!

"Man I am so lost."

Indeed, the great Ramiel had found himself in some what of sticky wicket. He was currently in Canada, Quebec to be exact. Now you may be wondering "Why isn't he going to Japan?" Well there are three reasons:

1. Due to him having Ryoga's soul; he was now getting lost on whole new scale. Every time he seemed to turn around, or move a simple inch, he'd end up in someplace completely different to where he intended to go.

2. He felt angry at the time so he decided to take his frustrations from being lost out on the city and cause some wonton destruction.

3. A new video game store was having a sale, "All video games 60% percent off."

So naturally Ramiel decided to stay in Quebec; however he quickly realized he had a problem. You see the store with the games is about 1 story tall, and he is 40m tall diamond. This also added to the fact that he would have trouble playing the games, I mean after all, if tried to press a button on the controller he'd likely crush the damn thing.

But while Ramiel was pondering he failed to notice that the clouds over head were turning a bit dark, and the air was becoming humid and dense. He also failed to notice that his soul was screaming at him to get out of there, but due to the fact that souls lack voices Ramiel did not hear it.

He'd wish he could have. The reason being that not only did the S2 organs replicate characteristics of those whose souls are powering them, they also take on any curses that the soul acquired

For as the rain fell upon him, Ramiel noticed something odd. He was getting smaller, and at an alarming rate. First 35m, then 23m, 12m, 1m, 2.5ft, and then the shrinking ended, leaving him no more than 6 inches tall. Confused and frightened, Ramiel waddled over to a newly formed puddle, which was big enough now to show his reflection.

He gazed into the muddy water, which had mixed with the sand and gravel, which allowed him to get a good look at himself. Gone was silver steel skin armor which had protected him in many a battle. Gone was his bodies diamond shape, which although it served almost no purpose, it was a part of who he was, and therefore valuable to him. Replacing his silver skin was a charcoal grey leather skin. No longer did he fly, but he waddled on the ground via four tiny hooves that seemed too small to support his mass. Strutting out from his face was a tiny flat snout in the shape of an upside down heart. His eyes were large and round, though the pupils were tiny and actually seemed to merge with his irises. Ramiel nearly feinted as he realized what he had become.

He'd turned into a black piglet!

This didn't really bother him; after all, he changed forms all the time when ever he wanted to sate his lust with one of his many concubines, so why should changing now affect him at all?

And there was a plus to this; he was now small enough to enter the store. Taking this fact into effect he slowly waddled his way out of the street, and into the video game store. The door having been torn off in his vendetta of destruction of the city, posed no problem to him. Entering the store Ramiel began surveying the goods stacked up on the shelves when he suddenly realized he had a whole new problem.

He was too short to reach the shelves.

Tears slowly made their way down his piggy face deprived of one his few joys in life. Was he never again to experience the joys of pressing tiny controller buttons ever again? Would he never experience the thrill of defeating the final Boss enemy after nearly 12 hours of constant struggle and strife of zombie hoards and demons?

Would he never again play Dance Dance Revolution?

From the recesses of his soul a single name and phrase came to be that felt perfectly appropriate in this situation.

"CURSE YOU RANMA! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!"

**********************************

Shinji awoke, feeling grimy, musty and dirty. That was to be expected; after all he'd just slept in ventilation shaft. Stretching out his legs, trying to get the stiffness out of them, he accidentally scared away some mice, which been approaching him to see if he could be eaten or not. Dust was scattered as he flailed his limbs, trying to get the white air borne dirt off of him. His eyes opened revealing him to be where he had been last.

Right over the women's shower!

Realizing his stupidity, Shinji looked down through the grates to see if any of the women had left.

"Thank God." No one was in the locker room, which meant that this was his perfect chance of to escape. Rather than take his time with the screws, Shinji opted for the direct approach, and punched the grate right off. The grate fell to the ground with CLUNK.

Stealthily as a ninja, Shinji fell down to the floor, landing without a sound. Shinji stood, pausing a moment to hear if the locker room door would open. It did not. Making his way to the door, making sure to minimalize the amount of sound that he produced from walking, Shinji slithered up to the door frame.

Shinji opened the door to the hall, checking to see if any one was nearby. After all, he couldn't have someone think he'd been in the girl's locker room, perhaps trying to steal something. After all, he'd remembered the last time he'd been caught in the girl's locker room (Though not for any under wear he would assure you). Shinji shivered when he remembered how the dominatrix clad female student, tried to introduce him to the ways of S&M. Not one of his better memories.

He shook that memory off. `That was then, this is now, there's no one like that now so stop thinking about it!'

With the determination in mind Shinji took his first out into the hallway.

Yes nothing would happen.

He was in the clear.

He was home free.

He was-

"There you are Shinji!"

He was in deep shit.

Slowly turning around Shinji came face to face with the smile of Misato Katsuragi. But it wasn't your average smile; it was a smile reminiscent of the cat that ate the canary.

"Shinji, what were you doing in the women's locker room?" All Shinji could do was stutter as the grin on Misato told him that he was in trouble. Oh yeah big trouble.

"Hand them over Shinji." Shinji looked at Misato, confusion etched over his face.

"Hand what over Misato?" The lavender beauty chuckled a little at the boys attempt at avoiding what both she and he knew.

"Yeah good one Shinji, now look, if you just put them back where you found them I won't tell a soul that you were here."

Shinji had absolutely no idea what Misato was talking about. "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about Misato."

See told you so.

Now Misato was beginning to suspect that she might have jumped to conclusions. But she still had to be sure. She began tapping her foot in impatience, folding her arms across her chest, if Shinji could almost swear she was trying to show off her breasts. "Shinji, please don't make me frisk you." The look in her eye revealed that she did not mean what she said.

"Misato, I have no idea what you are talking about!"

`Time to get frisky!' Misato thought to her self with a grin. She spun Shinji around and pushed him against the wall, slowly making her way down his body, looking for what ever it was that she was searching for. Shinji noticed that as she made her way down to his buttocks, that her hands seemed to linger there for longer than was needed.

After finishing her *very* thorough search, Misato confirmed that Shinji did not have any thing belonging to any female on his personage. Though she did find out that she would have to perform these frisk operations more often.

"Misato, what were you looking for?" Shinji said with both eye brows raised.

"Nothing you need to worry about Shinji. Now come on Shinji, let's sign you out and go home, I'm sorry I frisked you (You know she's lying). I'll cook dinner tonight to repay you."

*****************

"Dinner is served."

After the ride home, which had been rather smooth in comparison to one of Misato's usual romps through the city, Misato and Shinji came home to a starving Pen-pen, whom had refused to eat anything Misato would make him, and almost demanded that Shinji make dinner.

Finally a compromise was occurred. Misato would cook the dinner for her and Shinji, then Shinji would make Pen-pen's fish. Pep-pen had instantly agreed, since he wasn't going to be the one receiving the foul poison that was the toxic waste that Misato would make.

And so Shinji stared at he plate of…………..something, that Misato thought passed as `curry', unless of course curry was acidic enough to eat through his plate, and now seemed to be moving on its own and growing a tentacle. Needless to say Shinji was a little reluctant to eat the `gourmet' food before him.

Shinji looked to his right at Pen-pen, whom was now sitting in the chair next to him, was wrapping his bib around his neck, readying his fork and knife, and began to gorge himself on the meal before him. Shinji looked over to Misato, who was now trying to catch her meal, which had crawled off her plate and had sprouted a hundred tiny centipede like legs and was now doing it's best to avoid Misato's hands.

"Um, miss Misato?" Misato's head turned away from her food for just a moment to look at Shinji; thusly the food slipped between her fingers and dived through one of the apartment windows. It cackled in victory as it fell down the 4 story building and on to the ground below.

"Damn lost it!" Misato cursed while snapping her fingers. Turning over to Shinji she gave him a warm smile that would turn normal men into goop.

Luckily for Shinji he was not one who was familiar with the powers that females had over men and so was unaffected. "Yes Shinji? Is something wrong?"

A very large sweat drop made its way down Shinji's head. `The fact that our food grows tentacles and legs; just escaped out the window and is probably now road kill doesn't seem a little strange to you?' He thought to himself. Some how he was beginning to wonder if agreeing to Misato's idea to cook, dinner was such a good idea after all. In fact, ever since he'd come to live with this woman she'd managed to shrug off some of the most odd things he'd ever seen as `normal'.

"Shinji? Are you ok?"

Snapping out of his revere, Shinji turned his head toward Misato who was now leaning forward, starring right into his eyes with both a worried and curious look. "Oh ah, sorry Miss Misato, um I wanted to ask you about how and why you came to work for Nerv, if it's not too personal?"

The worried look instantly changed to serious as Misato took another sip from her beer.

"No it's not too personal, you're my charge after all, and it's only natural that you'd want to know." Misato looked down at her beer can, holding it with only four fingers, as if she had not the will to hold it with all of them. "I think the best place to start would be where it all began, Antarctica. My father, in a fruitless act to mend the gap between us since he and my mother divorced, took me to their excavation of…." Yet before Misato continued she looked up from her can to let her eyes rest on Shinji. "I'm sure you know of the explanation for why the ice caps melted right?" Shinji nodded his head.

"Yes, my teachers told me that it was a giant meteorite." Shinji said. At least that was what Id had told him to tell anyone who asked. Misato nodded her head once, lifted her beer can back and drank the last of it in one gulp. Throwing the can away and getting another from the fridge, Misato pulled the tab and sat back down.

Taking another swig Misato stared Shinji with a look of utmost seriousness. "Okay Shinji, what I'm about to tell you is a secret, only Nerv personnel can know this, so don't tell this to any of your little friends." Once more Misato took a sip, not gulp, swig, but just a sip, maybe 3 ounces of beer, that's all. "The truth is Shinji, is that Antarctica was not destroyed by a meteorite, it was destroyed by an Angel. I would know because I was there, I saw the creature rise from 100ft of ice, the same one that caused Second Impact. Its name Shinji is Adam. When I first got to the excavation site I saw it for the first time, still frozen in the ice. Shinji, there is no way to describe this creature, words will not describe what it looks like, just that it is far more gruesome, than any of the Angels you've seen already. That Angel Shinji is one of two reasons why I joined Nerv."

************

I stood frozen before it; my body could not move away from it, and my eyes would not let me look away from it. Even when it was frozen in the ice Shinji, I had the feeling that it could see me, its mouth was grinning, a smile of a beast that recognized easy prey. Its eyes were trained on the exact spot I was standing on, looking straight at me; each eye was nothing more than endless abyss, with small red dot right in the middle. It had felt like an eternity had passed before my father broke its power over me, and told me to head to my room. I stayed in that room when ever I could; the only time I ventured out was when I got hungry. Finally one day after not eating for a day and a half, my hunger over took me, and I had to head out to the cafeteria. The problem was that there was only one way to the cafeteria, and the only path to get to it, went right through where Adam was buried.

When I opened the door Shinji I saw something that frightened me almost as much as Adam did. There was a man standing in front of Adam as it grinned down at him, the man just grinned back at the beast. His posture was confident; one hand was hanging loosely by his side, the other against his hip. As soon as I saw him, I knew he shouldn't have been there, as if his presence alone disrupted the very fabric of reality. He wore the same lab coat that everyone in the building wore, yet the lab coat seemed too loose in some places, and too tight in others. Slowly he turned his head towards me, his grin growing ever wider.

"You, little girl," He yelled to me. "Check out the pop-sickle?" His face turned back to Adam, still he continued to grin. I don't know what possessed me to walk up to him, but some how, I ended up standing right next to him, and I finally got a good look at his face.

He was pale Shinji, really pale, even more so than Ayanami, at first I thought he was albino, due to the fact that his eyes were a deep red. But his hair, which was just as red as his eyes, disproved that, since albino's can only have either white or light blue hair.

"Ugly ain't he?"

"I'm sorry?" I had been too caught up with staring at his features understand what he said.

"Big bad Mr. Frost giant over here. He's just but ugly." He said indicating Adam.

"Well, he's not that scary just……………………..a bit spooky is all." I rubbed my hands together to bring about some warmth, but the room just kept getting colder.

"Bet he wishes he was on our side of the ice, eh? Probably wishes he could be the free one, while we sit in the ice." I'm not sure how I figured it out, but I knew right then and there, he was mocking Adam, as if they knew each other. And when I looked at Adam, his eyes seemed to be staring right at the man and nothing else; I could feel am emotion coming from that gaze, it was……………….hate.

Right then I noticed the ID badge on the mans coat, the picture on it was of a different person than the man, I also noticed the faint smell of blood permeating the air around him, it was then I knew, this person shouldn't be here.

Suddenly the man began to chuckle, not laugh yet but slowly it grew into one. "What do you think little girl, would happen if this creature got out?"

I took a step back, just to put some distance between me and him, it was obvious that this man was not in the right mind at the moment. "I-I-I d-don't know." My fear of this man only increased with his response.

"Well then why don't we find out, eh? Would be pretty interesting huh? Maybe even a little fun." His laughter rose and rose, as if the thought of Adam escaping was the funniest thing in the world to him. "Tell me little girl, the Lance of Longinus, is supposed to be inserted into this creature tomorrow, correct?"

"Yes I believe so." Father had told me much about the project; I knew some things most people would get shot for knowing without proper clearance.

His laughing lowered down to a good natured chuckle. "Excellent, well little girl you've just spared your self a very painful death." He turned around and walked towards a nearby door, yet before he could leave I needed to ask him something.

"Wait! Who are you?"

He craned his head around to stare me right in the eyes.

"I'm called, the Destroyer of God."

*******************

"The next day, the Lance of Longinus was inserted far too far into Adams core, so far in fact that it couldn't have been some computer error, it was shoved into him. And some how Shinji, I think that man might have been the one who caused it." Misato looked up at Shinji, who was now leaning forward, enraptured by her story. "And that Shinji is the second reason why I work for Nerv."

Despite the fact that he was raised by the man who Misato was searching for, Shinji had to admit, it wouldn't be below Id to cause Second Impact, in fact, it almost seemed fitting. After all, one of Ids two favorite things to do was to cause mass holocaust, and to cause mass destruction. One time Shinji had asked Id "Why do you like killing people papa?"

"Because it's fun Shinji, one day you will grow to love it like I do. Now pay attention to the lesson, the art of raping women then killing them after wards takes much finesse, and brute force……."

Needles to say Shinji had been 7 at the time and his memories of Ids lessons (like quite a few of his memories) was not the fondest of things he remembered from his child hood. Though not all of them were bad, some were in fact quite good, though few in number they may be.

"Shinji, wake up!" Shinji shook his head to rid his mind of the memories of his past. He came to the site of Misato leaning over the table, starring at him right in the face, also giving him a very nice view of her cleavage. "If you don't eat it Shinji, your food will get away." Shinji starred down at his plate of food, the food was being held down by Misato's hands. "Go on eat it, not as if it's going to kill you?"

Shinji seriously questioned this woman's sanity if she thought that the horrendous mutation upon his plate could actually be edible. But then Shinji's conscience reminded him that he hated to hurt women's feelings, so he took a bite, and swallowed.

Later that night after he had vomited his food into the toilet, and lied in bed with a 102 degree fever, Shinji promptly wished his conscience would burn in hell.

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Authors Notes 2: not that most people read these, but I've figured out a way to write stories relatively quickly, while not putting out much effort daily. You see every day from now on I'm going to write at least 30 minutes a day, and hour if I can. It's amazing how much you can accomplish in that amount of time. Also I think you all should check out a website called

http://addventure.bastenterprises.de/frecent.php?tag=Maho+He ntai+Shinji

It is the location of a rather large amount of Eva lemons, and other lemons involving different series, if you just look around you can find a lot of stuff. It's not the main page though so you'll need to look around a bit, but if your going to write anything there, be sure to check your grammar, because these guys are evil! EVIL I SAY!

Well I hope the next chapter comes out faster, I'm sorry I can't make any more excuses, this one took so long, because I was lazy, you can blame me whole heartedley.

I would also like to thank the following people, who have been the greatest of help to me.

Zentrodie and Otaku D-man-They remain the inspiration for my comedy fics.

NiteFlier-my pre-reader, good friend, and some what psychiatrist.

Dan Snyder-Dan Snyder is my guidance for writing serious stories, or just stories in general, and it was through his teachings that I am as good as I am today.