Asuka Versus A-ko

Neon Genesis Evangelion OFF series #2

By Austin Covello

Based on the characters created by GAINAX, Katsuhiko Nishijima, and Kazumi Shinasaka

Asuka Langley Soryu stormed into the elevator and hammered the button to the level on which Dr. Akagi's office was located. This had better not be true. She had endured countless failures as a pilot. She had had to be rescued by her inferior rival, Shinji, time and again. She had once even had to wear a special plug suit that had made her look bloated right in front of Kaji. But this… this was demeaning!

If the rumor that she had heard was true, then that meant she and her Eva would be used… no! It was too degrading even to think about! She stalked to Ritsuko's office and pounded on the door. "Come in," chimed a coolly measured voice.

The door banged open. "Dr. Akagi!" Asuka half screamed, pushing her flaming hair out of her face and storming in.

Dr. Ritsuko Akagi didn't even bother to look up from her report. "Yes. What is it, Asuka?" she sighed.

"I just heard that our Evangelions are going to be hired out for private use. What are we supposed to be now? Mercenaries? Guns for hire? I thought that we were supposed to be on guard for Angels, not a bunch of robotic hit men!"

"Actually, we were thinking about using them as construction aids throughout the state. That way, if an Angel attacked, the Evas would already be ready. We'll generate revenue by the money we make to produce more Evas, and that we're helping to rebuild Japan is good PR."

"Oh, so now we're construction workers?" cried Asuka, her voice going up several octaves. "Well my Unit 02 won't be demeaned so! You'll just have to take your money making scheme to those other two idiots! I'm not going to let you use my Evangelion just to haul beams and freight!"

"That's okay. We were planning to employ Unit 00 for the jobs anyway. Unit 01 is too valuable to be wasted on such menial labor, and you... well, we knew that you'd be a discipline problem. The construction gangs want someone who can follow orders, and you wouldn't be qualified."

"What?" Asuka's voice cracked. "You're saying that I can't handle lugging around some lumber and glue?"

Ritsuko's shoulders sagged as she finally tore her eyes away from the report and focused them on Asuka with a cold, penetrating stare. "Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying."

Asuka's face turned beet-red as she hovered on the verge of apoplexy. She spun abruptly on her heel and marched out of the office, slamming the door with a disgusted grunt. Ritsuko shrugged and then went back to her report.

Asuka, meanwhile, stalked from the office. When she got about ten paces from the door, she turned to make sure Ritsuko wasn't observing her from a crack in the doorway. Then she allowed herself two skips before she jauntily bounded to the testing area with a smile on her face. Success! she thought triumphantly.

***

Sparks flew as A-ko Megami punched a six foot hole in the giant mecha. The big, demonic robot toppled and then exploded in a hail of fire and shrapnel. A-ko turned at the sound of a frustrated howl. B-ko Daitokuji, her arch-rival, stood erect against the school fence post, fists clenched at her sides. "Damn you, A-ko!" she yelled.

A-ko strode confidently toward her enemy. Time to add a little insult to injury, she thought. "Well that was fun. Too bad it was over too quickly. So, are you going to change into that ridiculous battle outfit and fight it out hand-to-hand, or should we just call it a morning?"

B-ko flushed with rage. How dare she make fun of her inventions! The Akagiyama-23 was the most technologically advanced battle armor in all of Japan. It increased the wearer's reflexes tenfold, and was armed to the teeth with stiletto missiles, and she had referred to it as "a ridiculous battle outfit." A ridiculous battle outfit! B-ko could feel her blood beginning to boil.

A-ko went on. "When are you going to learn that nothing you ever build will be able to beat me?" she asked arrogantly. "Why don't you do something constructive with your mecha? I hear Graviton needs custodial machines." With that, she ran into the school, trying not to make herself any later than she already was.

B-ko smoothed her uniform a bit, and then walked gracefully toward the entrance. She strode down the hall with all of the poise and dignity that the daughter of the wealthiest mecha designer in Japan could muster to classroom 3-B. Once there, she opened the door and went inside.

"B-ko, you're late again," cried Miss Ayumi, their teacher. "Even A-ko and C-ko were earlier than you were. Find a newspaper and take a seat. We're studying current events."

From a seat near the window there came a loud yell. "Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii B-kooooooooo," C-ko Kotobuki hollered at her. B-ko smiled at the welcome of the prize that she had sought for eleven years to wrest from A-ko's clutches. Then she turned to Miss Ayumi, who had a newspaper in hand.

"My apologies, Miss Ayumi," B-ko said submissively as she took a paper.

Once she got a copy of Graviton Gazette, however, her eye turned directly toward the want ads. Although she was wroth to admit it, A-ko was right. B-ko had never been able to achieve more than a stalemate with her. It was time to find someone who could defeat her. Only, who could beat a girl with superpowers? A-ko had gained the super strength and speed of her father, and B-ko had yet to see her meet her match.

Then she saw the ad she was looking for.

Evangelions For Hire!

NERV is contracting for service Evangelions, the mecha that defends mankind against otherworldly threats. Our organization provides mecha, qualified pilots, power supplies, and support personnel. For details, contact NERV HQ at:

1-888-543-9846.

B-ko rubbed her hands with glee. This was exactly what she had been looking for!

***

"What do you mean I've been contracted!" cried Asuka. "I thought you weren't going to do this to me!" Once again, Asuka stood in Dr. Akagi's office, this time with Ritsuko and Major Misato Katsuragi, director of NERV operations and Asuka's guardian.

"It's not our fault," said Ritsuko. "The girl who hired you insisted on the best Eva that we have."

"It'll only be for a couple of weeks, Asuka," Misato said soothingly. "You'll be back before you know it. It'll be fun!"

"No it won't!" replied Asuka stubbornly. "I've got to go play Legos over in some Japanese dump of a town that I've never even heard of before!"

"You don't even know where and what the assignment is," noted Ritsuko.

"I don't know and I don't care! I'm not going, and that's final! Just send Shinji. That's what you have him for, anyway."

Misato shrugged. "Okay, if you insist. Ritsuko, should I tell Maya to erase the Second Child's REM, or do you want to do it?"

"What?" cried Asuka as her eyes widened.

"Like I said, the girl wanted the very best Eva we had. That means Unit 02. We'll have to reconfigure it for Shinji, which will pretty much put you out of a job. At least temporarily." Ritsuko smirked, not even to bothering to hide her satisfaction at Asuka's reaction.

"No way!" bawled Asuka. "You're not giving my Unit 02 to that loser! You'll have to kill me, first!"

"I'm sure you'll go to Graviton, then, won't you?"

Asuka's shoulders sagged. "You're not going to let me get out of this, huh?" she said with a resigned half-smile.

"No," said Ritsuko.

She sighed. "All right. I'll do it."

***

Asuka stuffed her favorite dress into the already overloaded suitcase and attempted to close it. The lid flew open and narrowly missed hitting her in the face. This time, she sat on the lid to keep it shut and locked it.

The door slid open to reveal Shinji Ikari, Asuka's other roommate and the Third of the Special Children. Asuka breathed heavily out of her nostrils.

"Shinji, you idiot," she began exasperatedly. "Don't you have any manners at all? You should knock before you come into someone's room!"

Shinji put his arm behind his head and bowed. "Sorry, Asuka. I just came to help you pack."

"You're a little late for that," said Asuka getting off the suitcase. She sighed. "But… thanks for the thought." She hauled the luggage off of the bed and onto the floor. "At least it'll give you some time alone with Rei, right?"

Shinji's jaw dropped and he recoiled from Asuka. "Huh? What are you talking about?" he cried.

Asuka pointed at Shinji and laughed. Shinji stared at her and then, shamefaced, he too began to crack up. After a bit, Asuka stopped laughing. "I can't wait to get this assignment over with," she said.

"Are you kidding?" asked Shinji incredulously. "Graviton's beautiful this time of year. Not only that, they've got one of the best shopping districts in Japan."

"Yeah, but who am I going to have around to tease?" She walked up to Shinji and impulsively embraced him. Shinji stiffened and then slowly put his arms around Asuka's waist with a gentle squeeze. "I'm gonna miss you, Shinji," Asuka murmured. She let go of him and picked up her suitcase. "Take care of things while I'm gone, okay?" Shinji nodded a wordless assent. "See you in a couple of weeks," she smiled at him as she walked out the door.

***

Asuka sat in the passenger seat of Ritsuko's van and studied the file on Graviton. Shinji hadn't been kidding when he said that it had one of the best shopping districts in Japan. In fact, Graviton was Japan's greatest tourist attraction and was also considered the mecha capital of the world. It was technological wonder, boasting a Recreation and Cultural Center, a museum dedicated solely to mecha, and a huge theme park. And that was only the urban sector!

However, Asuka's eyes narrowed when she saw the billboard welcoming them to Graviton. Welcome to Graviton, where the real Second Impact took place! "I don't believe that!" exclaimed Asuka. "How arrogant can you get? Turning the biggest tragedy of humanity into a marketing scheme! It's completely immoral!"

"Careful, Asuka," Ritsuko chided from behind the wheel. "What looks like a marketing scheme to you is actually a piece of history to them. Remember, it was one year before Second Impact that a meteorite crashed-landed right into Graviton City. To them, they think that it was a warning of what was to come."

"Except that it wasn't an asteroid that crashed into Antarctica," said Asuka knowledgeably. "It was the First Angel, right?"

Ritsuko smiled. "I see you've been studying. Now, you'll be staying at The Daitokuji Manor, home of Hikaru Daitokuji."

"The mecha king of Graviton?"

"The same. He narrowly lost last year's mayoral election, but financially, he's still the most powerful man in Graviton. The mecha he sells is used primarily for custodial and administrative purposes, but he's been trying to break into the weapons market. It's imperative that he doesn't get anywhere near the Eva. To that end, I'm providing you with your own security force. But he isn't the one you'll be working for.

"You'll be working for his daughter, B-ko Daitokuji. She's an aspiring weapons mecha designer, but she hasn't built anything notable. That's why she called us."

"I don't like the idea of killing some girl, Dr. Akagi," said Asuka.

"Neither do I, but it gives us an excuse to be here. And that's your real assignment. There have been rumors that aliens have landed and are taking up residence in Graviton. You've got to investigate these rumors; see if they're true. If so, we need to investigate a possible connection between these aliens and the Angels. If there isn't one, they could be valuable allies."

"You know me," said Asuka smartly. "I've got a nose for news."

The convoy of trucks behind Ritsuko's van carried power supplies, a security detail, and support personnel. Huge chemical trucks contained the Link Connection Liquid that was essential to the communication between man and machine. Behind the rest of the procession, a flatbed trailer held a bolted down tub of LCL. Sitting immersed to the shoulders in the fluid was Unit 02.

Asuka gasped as she looked out the window when the convoy entered the urban sector. Robots, robots, and more robots! A robot that resembled R2-D2 from Star Wars waddled down the street and opened its head so that a pedestrian could deposit some trash. Down a nearby avenue, a twenty foot humanoid robot swept the street with a giant broom. And so life-like! Even though she was around giant robots everyday, she couldn't help but be impressed with such spectacles.

As Asuka stared in awe at the wonders of Graviton technology, she suddenly realized that a crowd of small children had come up to the curb to watch the convoy with looks of awe on their faces. She caught snatches of their conversation. "…the size of that robot!" "…wonder what it's for." "…cool!" "…seen a mecha that big before!" "…want one of those!" Asuka beamed with pride as a few of the braver boys activated their jetpacks and began to follow in an impromptu parade.

"Did you hear that, Doc?" sniggered Asuka. "Those kids love my Eva. Maybe this place isn't all it's cracked up to be, considering that I've got the biggest robot in town."

"I wouldn't get too smug, Asuka," replied Ritsuko. "You should hear what the adults have to say."

"What?"

"They think it's some grandiose advertisement for the pool company."

"You're spoiling my fun," whined Asuka. "Can't I at least enjoy the moment?"

Ritsuko sighed. "If you must,"

"Great!" yelled Asuka, rolling down the window.

"What are you doing?" hollered Ritsuko. "The AC's still on!"

Asuka ignored Ritsuko's protests and began waving out of the window as if she were someone important.

***

The convoy pulled up to Daitokuji Manor. Ritsuko dropped Asuka off at the gate. Asuka sighed as she realized that the children had gone home, either from getting bored or running out of jet fuel.

"Now don't forget that we're depending on you. And remember, you're representing NERV. Try not to throw too many temper tantrums, okay?"

"Since when do I throw temper tantrums?" asked Asuka indignantly.

"Since about two seconds after I met you, I think. Possibly before," retorted Ritsuko. "We've got some of our best staff on hand to help you through this assignment. You shouldn't have any trouble. See you in a couple of weeks. Oh, and send me a postcard." She drove off.

***

She had blue hair.

That was the first thing Asuka noticed about her new employer. Sitting in a chair across from B-ko's pine-wood desk, Asuka began to fidget. The hair had gotten B-ko off on the wrong foot with her already.

That and her entourage. Especially her bodyguard. Mari looked like that guy from Fist of the Northstar dressed in drag, yet her voice was so high-pitched it almost cracked windows. Wonder what they've been putting in the water in thisplace, thought Asuka, once again risking a glance at the overly-muscled six foot plus girl.

Her so-called test pilot was a joke, too. Ume feigned a casualness when talking about Unit 02 that masked her pure awe at the giant Evangelion. She had bored Asuka half to death as she escorted Asuka and her staff to B-ko's household office, giving her what had essentially been a verbal resume of all of the mecha that she had piloted over her sixteen years. Then she asked, with a subtle smile, if NERV needed any experienced pilots for the Evas.

And then there was B-ko herself. Asuka resisted the urge to throttle this hoity-toity daddy's girl. Asuka had met people like her before. People who always oozed that serenity in the fact that they were the absolute center of the universe. Everyone was inferior to them, and therefore should get down on their knees and thank the maker that they had been born.

B-ko sat her desk with her fingers steepled and smiled at her. "That's quite a cute little robot you have there," said B-ko condescendingly.

Asuka's right hand began to itch as she resisted the urge to slap the smile right off of her face. Cute? Little? It's over a hundred fifty feet tall, you idiot!

Sitting next to her, Dr. Sato, Asuka's Chief of Staff, flashed her a warning frown. Just as Ritsuko had said, she was representing NERV. She needed to act in a professional, dignified manner. To that end, she had asked the grandfatherly old man to join her when she interviewed her client.

It took all of her self-control to surpress the anger welling up inside her. Instead, she smiled with all of the pseudo-sweetness she could muster. "Yes, well, what can I say to one of the top minds in animatronic technology." Take that, bitch!

"Actually, that's more my fathers department," said B-ko. "He's really interested in your Eva's design. Do you have any blue-prints or schematics with you? Perhaps a computer simulation or a working model?"

"I'm sorry, Miss Daitokuji," said Asuka, not sorry in the slightest. "But the designs and defense mechanisms of the Evangelions are strictly classified. NERV regulations prohibit me from giving civilians any information on them." Score one for me! Nyah-nyah!

"I do expect that this thing can do what I expect it to do. I paid good money for this…" You mean your father paid good money, thought Asuka. "…and I don't want any screw ups. I expect you to follow my orders at all times. Is that clear?"

"Crystal. However, in the event of an emergency, NERV's authority overrides your own," replied Asuka, attempting to sound like Misato on the day she took control of Unit 02. "Now would you please show me and my staff to our quarters? We had a long drive, and we'd like to rest now."

B-ko turned to the pretty girl who was her secretary standing to her right. "Asa, escort Miss Soryu and her staff to their bungalows." She went back to Asuka. "Have a pleasant stay. You've got a lot of work to do tomorrow."

Asa led Dr. Sato and Asuka out of the office. Asuka gritted her teeth. "'You've got a lot of work tomorrow,'" Asuka mimicked B-ko. "I'd like to work on ripping her face off and shoving it straight up her…"

"Easy, child," soothed Dr. Sato. "We're guests here. Miss Daitokuji probably just likes to run a tight ship."

"That's not the only thing that's tight about her," muttered Asuka darkly. "I can't wait to get this assignment over with." Her face brightened. "Maybe I'll have time to see the sights later on!"

"That's the spirit!" remarked Sato. "You hang in there and things won't seem so bad. I don't know about you, but once we get to those bungalows, I'm going to get some sleep. I've been penned up in that infernal truck for I don't know how long."

Asuka felt a surge of pity welling up inside her. "Oh, poor Dr. Sato! You're going to be cooped up in that dingy old command trailer!"

Sato shrugged. "It's part of my job, Asuka. Your Eva is going to have to be maintained, and I can't do that from this house. Besides," he added sternly. "Don't think you've escaped your synch tests just because you're on assignment. You still have to report in every afternoon. I promised Dr. Akagi that."

Asuka sighed. "I was afraid of that. Oh well, it's only for a half hour, right?"

"Certainly. I never promised you'd be in for any preset amount of time." Dr. Sato grinned slyly at her.

The odd twosome chatted all the way to the bungalows.

***

B-ko awoke the next morning to the sound of a high-pitched voice being amplified. "ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE, RISE AND SHINE! UP AND AT 'EM! WE'VE GOT A JOB TO DO!"

B-ko crawled out of her bed and looked out the window. Her eyes widened in shock and horror. Asuka was standing on top of her favorite Rolls-Royce! Megaphone in hand, Asuka shouted orders at the bleary-eyed NERV personnel.

"FALL IN, EVERYBODY! GIRLS ON THE RIGHT, BOYS ON THE LEFT! FIVE MINUTES PER SHOWERS! HEY YOU! YES, YOU! THIS ISN'T SOME SUNDAY PICNIC, YOU IDIOT! GET A MOVE ON!"

B-ko opened her bedroom window. "What the hell is going on here?" she yelled.

"WE'RE GETTING READY FOR SCHOOL, MISS DAITOKUJI," said Asuka through the megaphone. "LOOK ALIVE, OVER THERE! I DON'T WANT TO BE LATE!"

"What are you talking about? School's not for another two hours! And A-ko's always late, anyway! And get off my Rolls!"

Asuka leapt off of the car with one bound and landed on her feet. "WHAT? TWO MORE HOURS? MAKE THAT TEN MINUTES FOR SHOWERS! I'M SURE THE GIRLS WILL LOVE YOU FOR THAT ONE, MISS DAITOKUJI. THEY HATE TO GO TO WORK WITHOUT THEIR FACES. BUT I THINK YOU'D BETTER PUT SOME DECENT CLOTHES ON, BEFORE SOME OF THE BOYS START TO STARE." Several of the male officers immediately turned to gawk at the scantly clad blue haired beauty.

B-ko let out a squawk and closed the curtain.

***

Once everyone had been fully dressed, the entry-plug was inserted into Unit 02 and the convoy left for Graviton High. The trip was uneventful, and soon they stood at the gates of the school. Once there, Dr. Sato ordered the umbilical cable unloaded and the Eva activated. The only thing left to do was wait.

While she stood in front of the school, Asuka/Unit 02 thought about the murder that she was going to commit. She had no illusions about what she was doing. She was deliberately and cruelly going to take a human life. It made her flesh crawl underneath her metallic armor. It was one thing to kill an Angel. She could do that and not think twice, but this…

Her train of thought abruptly cut off as she saw a trail of smoke coming up the hill toward them. Someone was really burning rubber, that was for sure. Then she gasped as she saw an athletic looking redhead at the forefront. She was the one creating that dust cloud!

A window with Dr. Sato's image on it popped up in her field of vision. "Asuka, we've just clocked that girl's speed at two hundred and twenty kilometers per hour! Don't underestimate her!"

"Don't worry. I've got the situation under control," declared Asuka.

The dust settled, and Asuka saw a lithe girl with curly blonde hair and huge green eyes, along with the target.

"Hello, A-ko," B-ko greeted her civilly.

"B-ko, I'm too tired to bother with you today, so just get to the point. Are you going to let me pass or what?" asked A-ko.

"You should know better. I'd like you to meet a new friend of mine. Evangelion Unit 02!" B-ko cried dramatically.

The blonde's jaw dropped. "Wow, A-ko! I've never seen anything this big before!"

"I have," said A-ko. "So, you're going to let NERV do your dirty work for you now, huh B-ko?"

"If that's what it takes," retorted B-ko. "Asuka: kill."

"C-ko, why don't you go inside, okay? I don't want you to be late as well."

"Okay. See you in class," she sang, running to school.

A-ko turned toward the Eva, poised for battle.

Asuka smiled wickedly. She knelt down and put her hand right in front of A-ko, her thumb restraining middle finger. She flicked the girl away as if she were a booger.

But A-ko grabbed mecha's finger and began to bend it back. Asuka howled in pain as she felt her knuckle breaking. She waved her hand around, hoping the centrifugal force would shake the girl off. With one swift jerk of her wrist, A-ko fell one hundred feet. That should do it! thought Asuka. That kind of a fall would kill an ordinary person.

However, A-ko was not an ordinary person by any means. Asuka's mouth hung open as A-ko got up to her knees and began to shake her head to clear the cobwebs. "That's impossible!" she cried.

Then her reasoning took over again. While she was dazed like that, she ought to be able to squash her like a bug. She raised her left foot and prepared to bring it down on A-ko.

But just before she could drive her foot home, A-ko raised her hands and blocked it. Asuka's eyes were wide with shock. Quickly, she did some mental calculations. Five-hundred tons of pressure, she had on A-ko. Mein Gott! What kind of girl is this?

Seizing Asuka's bemusement, A-ko pushed on the sole of the Eva's foot and staggered her. Asuka had just enough time to berate herself for not staying focused before A-ko started to run up her leg. Pushing off, she grabbed the red robot's arm and swung around to the back. She was so quick that Asuka had no time to catch her. "Let's see how well you operate without power!" cried A-ko as she ripped the umbilical cable out of its socket.

As the timer display began to count down from five minutes, A-ko kicked the cord spool over contemptuously, thinking the battle had been won. Then she turned and saw Unit 02 moving toward her. A-ko's eyes widened and she froze like a deer in headlights. She doesn't know about the backup battery! Asuka gloated as she broke into a run. There was a sound like the kicking of a flabby football as Asuka's foot met A-ko's stomach, and A-ko was sent flying down the hill.

"That got her!" cheered Asuka. But then she broke into a cold sweat. A-ko was coming straight up the hill for more! Asuka grunted with exasperation. "I was hoping I wouldn't have to use this," she muttered. "Spreading AT Field!" The air in front of her rippled briefly.

A-ko was more surprised than hurt when she crashed into the imaginary force-field of the collective unconscious. As she got to her feet and looked up at the Evangelion, she could have sworn that it was smirking at her.

The blood began to rush to her brain as A-ko felt her mouth get dry. "Now I'm mad!" she hollered as she took off her wristbands.

In the dark recesses of her mind, Asuka always wondered what an Angel felt like when it had its Absolute Terror Field neutralized. But when A-ko ripped through hers like tin foil, she finally found out. Shocks went through the base of her skull and images flooded her mind. Dolls… Mother… Blood… Madness… Hanging… Death… NO!

Asuka sat in her entry plug, her eyes wide with fear and her lungs gasping for air. She swallowed to catch her breath. It didn't help, and she continued panting.

Abruptly, she realized that she was no longer connected with the Eva. Dr. Sato must have disengaged the nerve connection! Thank God! "To hell with this! I'm getting out of here!" Asuka declared. Quickly she punched the button to eject her entry plug. The plug shot out from the base of the Unit 02's spine as Asuka engaged the SmartPlug controls. It was a new innovation that Dr. Akagi had installed into the entry plugs that allowed the pilot to steer the capsule while it flew.

The entry plug touched down fifteen yards away from the school, and LCL sprayed out of it in all directions. The hatch opened, and Asuka cautiously got out. When she saw that the coast was clear, she made her way toward the command trailer to get changed for school.

***

In classroom 3-B, Asuka regarded her new teacher in revulsion as she stood at the blackboard. Blue hair! Again! Rei would be right at home here! Still, Miss Ayumi seemed nice enough, though a bit on the ditzy side. "Now class, I'd like to introduce our new student. Pay attention everyone!"

Asuka finished writing her name and turned to face the class. "My name's Asuka. Asuka Langley Soryu. I'm really happy to be here." …Not!

"That's good Asuka. Asuka comes to us all the way from Germany, and she even managed to be put up two grades because of her I.Q. level. You can sit right behind B-ko."

Asuka turned to see B-ko, her lips curled back at her and her fist clenched at her side. Aww, what's the matter, B-ko? Are you still upset because Daddy didn't give you that pony? thought Asuka glibly.

However, when Asuka got to her seat, B-ko didn't even pretend to be polite. "How could you lose? I thought these Evangelions were the toughest fighting mecha on the planet! You can't even beat a sixteen year old girl!"

"That's because that sixteen year old girl is super strong, you idiot!" retorted Asuka angrily. "Did you just happen to forget that?"

"It was on a need to know basis. You didn't," said B-ko arrogantly.

Asuka slammed her palm down on the desk. Despite the headache she was still feeling, she wasn't about to let B-ko push her around. "Like hell I didn't! I could have prepared a lot better if I'd known that she could lift more than a giant ant on steroids!"

"And that's your excuse for being defeated by a target a tenth of your size?"

"Why, I oughta…"

The door to the classroom pushed open, and A-ko walked in, clutching her ribs. "A-ko," cried Miss Ayumi. "You're late again. I can't believe you! Shouldn't you set your alarm clock in the morning?"

A-ko winced. "Miss Ayumi, I don't feel very good. Can I go to the nurse's office?"

Asuka turned to B-ko. "I bet you never sent her to the nurse before," she sniggered.

"Yes I have!"

"Actually…" A-ko began to interject.

"Shut up!" cried Asuka and B-ko in stereo and resumed arguing.

"You go on ahead, A-ko," said Miss Ayumi. "I think we have someone to fill in for you right here." The class broke into laughter as she gestured at Asuka.

A-ko guffaws trailed off into a hacking cough. "Well, at least she'll do a good job. We redheads do everything well."

Asuka ceased her bickering with B-ko. "I'll second that!" she said brightly. As A-ko left the classroom, she saw B-ko hovering on the verge of an apoplectic seizure and smiled.

Her smile faded, however, once she closed the door. She hobbled down the hall toward the nurse's office, clutching her ribs. Asuka had done this much to her, and she hadn't even been prepared! Just think of what she might do the next time around. A-ko wondered if having a loose cannon in B-ko's clique was worth all of the medical expenses she was going to be charged from those battles.

***

At lunchtime, Asuka sat on the green and berated herself. In the confusion of preparing for the battle, she had negligently forgotten to pack a lunch. Her stomach gave off yet another growl. If only Shinji were here! It was true he was an idiot, but he was the best cook in Tokyo-3, and he would have remembered about lunch. Asuka thought about her little dilemma. She could go to the school shop for lunch, but that would cost money. Besides, school lunch was bad enough to make a rat sick, as a matter of principle. Almost better to go hungry.

Just then a high pitched voice calling to her. "Helllllllllllllllllo! Yoo-hoo!" She turned to see A-ko and that blonde girl sitting on a picnic blanket waving at her. What was her name again? Oh yeah, C-ko.

Just then, C-ko pulled out a pink lunch box. Asuka's mouth began to water at the morsels inside: the box was full of rice and steamed vegetables with a boiled crayfish on top. C-ko motioned her over.

Desire fought with duty within Asuka. I can't go over there! They're the enemy! But that food smells so good. What'll I do? A fresh hunger pang welled up inside her tummy. That finally decided her. She plunged toward the twosome with the firm intent of a free meal.

"…actually, I brown-bagged it today, C-ko." A-ko turned and saw the starving form of Asuka hovering over her. "Oh, hi. It's Asuka, right? C-ko made this lunch for me, but I brought my own today. You want it?"

"Yeah!" added C-ko enthusiastically. "It's really good. I call it 'crayfish surprise.' Eat it!"

Asuka smiled gratefully. "Why thank you, C-ko!" she said. Greedily she grabbed the box from C-ko's hands. C-ko watched her, transfixed.

Meanwhile, A-ko smirked. Now's my chance to pay you back for those cracked ribs! she thought. Asuka moved the rice filled chopsticks closer and closer to her mouth. Then she noticed the look on A-ko's face.

"Hey, what are you smiling for? You didn't spit in this, did you?"

A-ko's jaw dropped at the accusation. "Of course not! I just saw it about five seconds ago!"

"Oh. Sorry," she smiled at A-ko. It seemed beneath her to do something like that anyway. She stuffed the food into her mouth. "Mm… not bad," she declared.

A-ko's jawed dropped. "What? I don't believe it! Gimmie that!" She snatched the lunch box from Asuka's grip.

"Hey!" whined Asuka. A-ko got a good bit of rice and vegetables between the chopsticks and shoved them in her mouth. Suddenly, her eyes began to tear up. Her face turned myriad colors; starting from green, then going on to yellow, then blue, red, and finally a pale white. Her cheeks grew bigger and bigger. Then finally, she let out a howl of anguish, and fire licked out of her mouth. Asuka watched in bemusement as, broken ribs or no, A-ko sprinted as fast as she could toward a pool of water in the center of the green and dove in. The water steamed, then boiled, and then went back to normal.

Asuka picked up the box. "Like I was saying," she said to C-ko while opening her backpack, "not bad, but it could really use some Tabasco." She poured the hot sauce over the meal. "That's the problem with you Japanese. Your cooking is always so bland. Give me some nice, bold Australian food any day of the week! Of course, this is still really good. Almost as good as my roommate's."

Tears of joy streamed down C-ko's face as Asuka ate. "That… that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."

***

After school and at the Daitokuji Manor, Asuka stormed down the hall toward B-ko's office, where she had been summoned. How dare she interrupt her synch tests! Those tests were critical to her operating her Eva, and with callous disregard, B-ko had called her. To chew her out in private for losing to A-ko, no doubt. Well, one thing was for sure, B-ko was going to get as good as she gave.

Asuka jerked the door open and stormed in. "What do you want, B-ko?" she demanded, not even bothering with the honorific "Miss Daitokuji."

B-ko didn't even flinch. "My sources say that you were seen with A-ko and C-ko during lunch time. Is this true?"

"Damn right it is. What I do with my lunch time is my business! C-ko was kind enough to give me one of her lunches, and I'm not one to look a gift horse in the mouth!"

Asuka's eyes widened as B-ko's clique recoiled from her. "Y-you went into C-ko's lunch box and lived?" asked Ine, B-ko's Chief of Intelligence.

"Of course I did, you idiot! And it tasted good, too!" Asuka turned to B-ko with her teeth bared. "You pulled me away from my meditations for this? You Scheißekerl!"

B-ko ignored the curse word. "But I can't have a pilot who fraternizes with the enemy, can I? Therefore, I've decided to turn piloting of Eva Unit 02 over to Ume."

"What?" Asuka's voice went up an octave. "You can't have an unauthorized person in the entry plug! NERV regulation state specifically…"

"NERV isn't here right now. I am. Ume will pilot Unit 02."

Inwardly, Asuka gloated. Ume was in for a bit of a shock if she thought she was going to pilot Unit 02. "Alright, fine. But I want it on the record that I'm doing this under protest."

"Fine. One more thing. I don't want you near A-ko. The next time the repercussions will be dire. Understood?"

"Yes ma'am," said Asuka mock-submissively, trying her hardest not to laugh. She turned and walked out of the office.

***

Even with her enhanced metabolism, A-ko's ribs were still smarting the next morning, so she got her mom to drive her and C-ko to school. For once, being late for school was the least of her worries. She knew that when she got there, she'd have to face Asuka, and more importantly, Unit 02.

A-ko swore under her breath at Asuka. The red-headed German had forced her to take a week's lay off from track, her favorite sport, despite the fact that her ribs were even now almost completely healed. But what complicated things was the fact that C-ko had taken a liking to her.

But even as A-ko thought about her, she couldn't find the rage for Asuka that she had for B-ko and the rest of her clique. She seemed different, somehow, from the rest of her sycophants. For one thing, she didn't take any crap from B-ko, that was for sure. Maybe having a member of her clique as strong willed as Asuka would teach B-ko some humility, if nothing else.

As the school entered their field of vision, A-ko's mother gasped. "What in the world is that thing?" she cried, gesturing at the giant red robot that was Evangelion.

"Oh, nothing Mom. Just some new security mecha," A-ko lied glibly. The last thing she wanted was to do was bring her parents into this. She could handle it on her own!

The former Wonder Woman was still gazing at the Eva in awe. "Well, I don't think there's anyone in the school doing anything that warrants that. I'm going to speak with the town council about this. Graviton will go belly up if we keep overspending on these things."

A-ko and C-ko stepped out of the car. "Güten Morgen C-ko!" Asuka called from the gate.

"Asuka!" cried C-ko and ran over to where the pilot was standing. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought I'd watch the fight."

A-ko walked over to Asuka. "But if you're here, then whose piloting Unit 02?"

B-ko stepped out from behind the Eva's leg. "I can answer that. Since Asuka's such an incompetent pilot, I got Ume to man Unit 02. This time A-ko, you die!"

"That's what you think," muttered Asuka under her breath.

"And now, Ume, all systems go!" ordered B-ko.

***

In the Eva's entry plug, Ume watched in horror as a pale-gold liquid quickly filled the capsule. She held her breath for as long as she could while she swam in the fluid, searching for a way out of the plug. Finally, unable to get oxygen, she released her breath and began to suck in the solution. Fifteen seconds later, she realized that she wasn't drowning and swam back to her chair.

As Ume watched in awe, a glowing nimbus surrounded the cockpit. Then suddenly her stomach gave a violent jump. Her face began to turn a sickly shade of green as she fought down the urge to vomit. Then the nimbus passed and red error lights flashed through the plug.

***

"What are you waiting for, Ume?" cried B-ko. "Activate now!"

Asuka quickly phoned the command trailer. "Hey, Dr. Sato, what's her synch ratio?" she asked, doing her best to hold back her laughter.

"She's down to one-one hundred thousandth of a percent! It's the lowest synch ratio in history!" Sato declared.

"Cool!" said Asuka.

"You're incorrigible," Dr. Sato accused.

"Would you want me any other way?" she giggled.

A-ko, tired of waiting for the robot to move, negligently swept the Eva's right leg out from under it. B-ko watched in amazement as Unit 02 toppled to the ground like a felled tree. A-ko sprinted through the gate, avoiding B-ko's lunge toward her.

Unable to hold back any longer, Asuka pointed at B-ko and laughed long and loud.

"What's so funny?" B-ko demanded.

"You can't have just anyone pilot an Eva!" cried Asuka between guffaws. "You need specially trained pilots who've synchronized their thoughts with it! B-ko, you idiot!" Asuka grabbed her sides and roared. "And…" she snorted. "And, it takes anywhere from six months to a year!" Asuka collapsed and rolled on the ground with laughter.

B-ko trudged to school, realizing that she had been the butt of a cruel joke.

***

School let out early that day, and Asuka decided that this was as good a time as any to head into town and do some investigating. And if she could manage to do some shopping as well as detective work… well, that was okay, too.

As Asuka walked to the Urban Sector, she noticed the skinny buck-toothed Ine trailing her. Don't trust me anymore, B-ko? thought Asuka sardonically. It didn't matter to her, either way. She wasn't going to do anything that wasn't public knowledge, anyway.

Asuka crossed the streets and stared at the myriad shops in ecstasy. She was in heaven! Quickly she went into the nearest clothes shop and began running up a bill for NERV that would make Commander Ikari nauseous just thinking about it.

***

Asuka sat in a booth at the local Sarku and studied the souvenirs she had bought. "Now let's see," she mused aloud. "Cookbooks for Shinji and Hikari, a beer mug for Misato, a toy model of the Max 5000 for Kensuke, a baseball glove for Toji, a stuffed cat for Ritsuko, …hmm, all I'm missing is something for Rei." B-ko's scalp so she can use it for hair extensions, she thought morbidly.

"Well, look who it is!" Asuka's head turned to see A-ko and C-ko walking in her direction. "Mind if we sit with you?"

Asuka smiled wickedly. "B-ko told me not to talk to you two anymore, so go right ahead."

C-ko took the seat across from Asuka. Meanwhile A-ko went to the counter for some food. "I don't understand why she always comes to fast food places like this one. I can always whip something up for her," griped C-ko. "How do you like Graviton so far, Asuka?"

"It's great," said Asuka, her attitude having turned a full 180 degrees after her shopping excursion. "I didn't think so many shops could exist in one area! Of course," she hung her head in exaggerated despair, "I haven't seen any aliens yet."

Just then a tall man in a biker helmet came into the restaurant. He turned toward the table and began to walk toward it, taking his helmet off to reveal short cropped curly black hair. He seemed handsome enough, but he wasn't Asuka's type. He sat down directly next to C-ko, and stared at her with a look of adoration fixed on his face. "Asuka, this is Kei Yuki. I think he's A-ko's boyfriend."

It was about this time that A-ko came back with her food. Asuka watched as A-ko began to tremble and her face slowly flushed. She slowly took a seat next to Asuka. "H-here you go, C-ko. I got you some food, just like you wanted."

"A-ko," said C-ko, "what are you-ow!" C-ko yelped as A-ko kicked her in the shin from beneath the table. C-ko's lower lip stuck out and quivered. Her whole body shook. She let out two sniffles and then… "WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Asuka covered her ears, shut her eyes as tight as she could, and opened her mouth to block out most of the sound. It barely helped.

"Alright! You don't have to eat it if you don't want to!" C-ko promptly stopped crying as A-ko turned to Asuka. "Asuka, would you please eat this?"

"But I already ate lunch," protested Asuka.

A-ko leaned in close to her. "Please, Asuka! I can't let him know that I eat!"

Asuka sighed and took the food.

"So, Kei," A-ko began as casually as she could, "What are you doing sitting at our table?" she tittered.

"Well, um… ah… that is… ah… ahem…" Kei stammered.

After about a minute of this, Asuka got fed up. She grabbed Kei by his collar. "What's the matter with you? Can't you even speak Japanese?"

"Um… er… urp…"

Asuka gasped in astonishment. "You pig! You just belched in my face! Scheiße! Idiote!"

Kei bolted from the table and ran away, screaming in terror. C-ko laughed. "I don't know what you see in him, A-ko."

"Neither do I," agreed Asuka. "That's the most apathetic excuse for a male that I've ever met in my time, and I've met some bad ones, believe me." He's even worse than Shinji!

A-ko was livid. "I can't believe you chased him off like that! How could you?"

"Well, I could have let him stay here, have C-ko start crying all over again, have you sit next to me frozen like a Popsicle, and to top it all of have you go hungry. Do you want this food back, or not?" She gave A-ko's tray back to her. "Anyway, I hate to burst your bubble, but I think Kei has a crush on C-ko."

C-ko's eyes widened. "Kei? Has a crush on me? EEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWW! Gross!"

Asuka decided to change the subject. "So, what's this I hear about aliens in the city?"

A-ko took a bite of her tempura. "Yeah, we've got aliens in this town. We've even got one of their spaceships."

Asuka's face lit up. "Really? Where?"

"You're standing on it," replied A-ko dryly.

"It crash landed sixteen years ago," explained C-ko. "We turned it into the city."

"So it wasn't a meteorite that hit Graviton, after all," mused Asuka.

"Yeah, and I'm their princess!" cried C-ko.

"C-ko!" admonished A-ko.

"Oh yeah," said Asuka sarcastically, "and I'm the Empress of Japan." C-ko once again began to sniffle. Her eyes began to tear up. "Okay, okay, I believe you!" cried Asuka. "Don't get upset! But is there anyway you can arrange it so I can talk to these aliens?"

C-ko smiled. "Sure! We can drop by anytime! They always want to see me! We can go right now, if you like."

"Sounds good to me," said Asuka. "Let's go." She got up from the booth, triumphant. The mission was almost completed!

***

"Captain? We've just got one of those report thingys from Major Liza."

Captain Napolipolita sipped her wine as she sat in the command chair on the bridge of her downed Egota-class ship and looked at Spy D, her First Officer and Chief of Intelligence. "Oh? What does she want?" she asked, not bothering to hide her dislike for her Chief of Security.

"She wants to inform you that Her Highness has come aboard for inspection and that she's found two prisoners. She requests your permission to interrogate them."

Napolipolita contemplated the request. "Oh very well, have them brought to the bridge, and she can interrogate them here."

"Aye-aye."

Ten minutes later, Asuka, A-ko, and C-ko stood in front of the tipsy captain and D along with a buxom blonde. "Captain," said the blonde, "here are the prisoners, as ordered,"

"Oh, cut it out, Liza!" said A-ko irritably. "You know exactly who I am. I've been on this ship a hundred times!"

Napolipolita hiccuped and fixed A-ko with an unsteady gaze. "You will speak only when spoken too, is that understood?"

A-ko leaned over to Asuka. "She's drunk. Again," she whispered.

"I've seen worse," Asuka whispered back.

"Captain, request permission to interrogate the prisoners," said Liza.

"Do you think that's honestly necessary? They probably just dropped by for a quick iced tea," said the Captain.

"But they're my prisoners!" protested Liza. A-ko stifled a grin.

"Oh, very well. Ask them what they'd like to drink."

Liza smiled wolfishly and advanced toward the two redheads. "All right you scum! You vermin…"

"Steady on, Major," slurred Napolipolita.

"What do you want to drink?" Liza bellowed.

"Well, an iced tea sounds nice," said A-ko.

"Make that two," added Asuka.

"Sweetened or Unsweetened?"

"Sweetened," replied A-ko and Asuka.

"Lemon?"

"Yes, please. And do you have any of those cute little snack cakes?" asked Asuka.

"I'm asking the questions around here!" hollered Liza.

"Quit being mean to them, Granny!" admonished C-ko.

"But Your Highness, I'm only twenty-four!" Liza protested.

"The Princess is right," agreed Napolipolita. "You're being too loud. Why don't you go secure something, Major? I'm trying to nurse my drink."

Liza stalked toward the captain, intent on delivering that one final insult that would make her day complete. "May I remind the captain," said Liza in a deadly quiet voice, "that she has been nursing that same drink for the past six months!" With that, she turned on her heel and walked off.

"My apologies for that," said Napolipolita. "You don't know how rude she can be. She's already made D cry twice today."

Is ninety percent of the female population of this town on steroids? wondered Asuka as she looked at the well muscled First Officer. Unlike Mari, D's hair was cropped short, and she tended toward a more revealing tank top and shorts, in some attempt to be feminine. However, much like Mari, she didn't seem to be on the bright side, either.

Asuka introduced herself. "So what brought you to Earth?" she asked.

"We were sent on a rescue mission to find Her Highness," began D. "We searched the galaxy for her for sixteen years."

"And then we finally found her," continued Napolipolita. "She was living out her life here, on earth, as an Earthling. We knew we had to rescue her and take her back to Alpha Cygnai with us. Unfortunately, we had some setbacks."

"So you don't know anything about the Angels?" asked Asuka.

"Earth Angel, Earth Angel, please be mine," sang D. "Catchy tune."

"We usually sing it around here," said Napolipolita. "But we didn't write it."

"I know that," said Asuka impatiently. "I'm not talking about a song. NERV needs your help to defeat the Angels. Could you help us?"

"You need help writing a song?" asked D.

"No," said Asuka, doing her best not to scream in the two women's faces. "We need your help to kill Angels."

"Aren't Angels already dead?" asked Napolipolita.

Drop. The subject. Just drop the subject, Asuka, she thought to herself as she felt her blood begin to boil. Exercising extreme will power, she forced down the image of knocking the two aliens' heads together. "So, what was so important that you had to bring your princess home to Alpha Cygnai?" she asked.

"Well, I heard that we needed her to stop a giant three-headed dragon from devouring our planet," said D.

Napolipolita's jaw dropped. "That's not it all, you fool! We need her to stop the infernal brain pestilence!"

A pretty brunette tech turned toward the captain. "Actually, I heard that we needed her as a sacrifice for the one eyed Goddess Febbes."

"So if you crash landed here, then why haven't you activated a distress signal?" interrupted A-ko.

"We have," said D.

"They just haven't answered it," added Napolipolita. "I remember that there was a reason, but it seemed to have slipped my mind. It's because… because…"

"You're all a bunch of useless, idiotic loonies!" cried Asuka, unable to hold back her disgust any longer.

The captain stared at her. "Oh, yeah. That's it. How did you know?"

***

Asuka trudged out of the spaceship with her belongings. Her entire mission, the whole reason for being there, had been a complete waste of time. There wasn't any connection between the Alpha Cygnais and the Angels, but there wasn't a snowball's chance in hell that those idiots could help in any way, shape, or form. That also gave way to another bitter realization: Earth, her home planet, was the galaxy's loony bin.

One thing was for sure, she was getting the hell out of Graviton. First thing tomorrow, if at all possible. And forget A-ko and B-ko. As far as Asuka was concerned, B-ko could have her money back. She could even keep the shipping fees!

A-ko came along side her. "Well, that could have gone better," she noted.

Asuka chuckled. At this point, she was past feeling anger and frustration. "You got that right. I expected something… a lot more impressive."

"Most people do. Then they actually meet them. They're pretty funny, but I don't think they can help you with your problem. Unless you can laugh an Angel to death," A-ko added ruefully.

"Well, you'll be happy to hear that I'll be out of your hair pretty soon. That was my real reason for being here. I can't wait to get back to Tokyo. This has been the worst two days of my life."

"Too bad. Under different circumstances, we might have even been friends. At least C-ko seems to like you well enough." She looked at her watch. "Well, it's getting late. My parents will be worried if I don't get back soon. Maybe I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Sure," said Asuka. "After this is all over, if you're ever in Tokyo-3, look me up, okay?"

"It's a deal," said A-ko, and then she sprinted off.

Asuka turned to the bushes beside her. "Ine, if you're going to spy on me, the least you could do is help me with my bags!"

Ine crawled out of the bushes. "How did you know that I was spying on you?"

"Ine, I have NERV Intelligence follow me to school every day. I'm not supposed to see them, but I do, and they're a lot more efficient than you are!" She shoved half of her purchases in Ine's hands and proceeded to berate her for her lack of consideration.

***

"What do you mean she's not in!" screeched Asuka over the phone. "I can't believe Dr. Akagi would take today of all days off!" She took a deep breath. Cool thoughts. A river running to an ocean. "All right. Next time you see her, would you have her call me? It's urgent!" She hung up the phone in disgust and then phoned Misato's.

After a few rings Shinji picked up the phone. "Hello?"

"Hi, Shinji? It's Asuka."

"Hi, Asuka!" For a split second, Asuka felt the stress and exasperation of the past two days melt away from her. He almost sounds excited, she thought. "How's Graviton?"

"It sucks. Is Misato there?"

"No, she went out drinking with Ritsuko."

"Dammit!" she swore. "Okay, when she's sober enough, tell her and Ritsuko that the mission's a bust and to come and pick me up. Okay?"

"Sure. And Asuka?"

"Yeah?"

"Ah… Um… Uhh…"

"Spit it out, you dummkopf!"

"It sure has been quiet with you gone."

In other words, you miss me. Asuka smiled. "Has it?" There was a knock on the door, and she suppressed a yell. "Sorry, Shinji, but I gotta go. With any luck, I'll see you in another day or so. Bye!" She hung up.

Asuka stalked to the doorway, fist clenched at her sides. She yanked open the door to find Asa. "What the hell do you want?"

"M-m-m-miss Daitokuji w-w-w-would like to see you," said Asa.

"Fine," said Asuka sourly. She trudged out of her bungalow and toward the manor.

***

"B-ko, you idiot!" said Asuka. "You interrupted an important phone call! What's this all about?"

"I told you that you weren't to associate with A-ko anymore," said B-ko. "You will be punished. Mari!" The giantess began to move toward Asuka.

Fifteen seconds later, Mari sat on the floor, howling in pain and clutching her now-broken arm. Asuka stalked toward B-ko and grabbed her by the collar. "I'm not going to say this again," said the irate German in a voice barely above a whisper. "I am not part of your clique! I am a distinguished Eva pilot! Who I decide to hang around with on my own time is my affair and no one else's! Don't make that mistake again!" She abruptly let B-ko go.

B-ko stared after the redhead in awe as a plan began to form in her mind.

***

It was yet another typical school day as A-ko once again raced above the rooftops of Graviton to school with C-ko in tow. With any luck, Asuka was already en route to Tokyo-3. It would be almost a relief to be fighting one of B-ko's mecha's or her in her little battle bikini.

As A-ko raced up the hill to school, she sighed with relief. No Unit-02! And no other mecha, either. Either B-ko was going to change into her slut outfit, or she was taking the day off. A-ko tried not to get her hopes up on the latter, but the idea that she might not have to fight B-ko was too good an idea not to pass up dreaming about, just a little.

Then she got to the school.

B-ko stood at the gate, waiting for her, as well as Asuka Langley Soryu. There was a helmet on her head signifying that she was wearing an Akagiyama-23 battle suit underneath her dress.

"C-ko will be mine at last, A-ko!" cried B-ko. "For now you have to contend with…"

"Oh, shut up! Dummkopf!" Asuka cut her off. "Look, A-ko, I have to stay and fight again. I broke Mari's arm, and B-ko threatened to sue if I didn't fight."

A-ko shrugged. "Typical. At least you have the good fashion sense to wear that ridiculous thing under your dress."

Asuka laughed. "You can say that again."

"Well, I guess we'd better fight, then," said A-ko halfheartedly.

"Yeah, if you say so." Asuka took up a stance.

A-ko did likewise. "Okay, Asuka, this is going to be our last meeting."

"You took the words right out of my mouth," replied Asuka.

The two redheads charged at each other, while B-ko watched with glee.

***

At Space Station Macross, Commander Lisa Hayes watched her radar screen as a gigantic object approached Earth. "Captain?" she called to the tall Russian man sitting in the command chair. "I think you'd better take a look at this, sir."

Captain Henry J. Gloval looked up from his newspaper and got out of his chair. He regarded the monitor that Lisa was gesturing to. "Thundering Asteroids! An Alpha-Cygnai battle ship!" he declared.

"I'm getting a identity," chimed Lieutenant Porter. "It's an Egota, sir!"

"Scramble all the strike units!" ordered Gloval. "I'm declaring a Red Alert!"

"Aye-aye, sir!" said Lisa. "Action stations! Action stations! All strike and veritech squadrons scramble immediately!"

At the Macross' hangers, pilots desperately rushed to get to their aircraft as the Egota class starship advanced toward their home planet. Their goal, however futile it might be, was to neutralize that ship in space before it could crash-land on Graviton. Graviton-and Earth-was counting on these elite pilots.

Once the fighters were out of the launch area, Blue Thunder squadron, led by Max Sterling, engaged in a bold attack on the four mile long behemoth, concentrating their attack on the primary cannon. He was surprised to find out, however, that that was not the best place to attack an Egota. The primary cannon shot out a gigantic beam of pure energy, and he and his squadron were vaporized instantly.

"Blue Thunder squadron has been obliterated," reported Lisa. "We're being targeted by the enemy!"

Lisa was allowed one brief thought before she and the rest of the station were destroyed. So that's why we're all wearing red shirts! And then, no more.

***

As A-ko and Asuka fought, Asuka marveled at how the Akagiyama-23 stood up to A-ko. With this battle suit, it was actually possible to take some of A-ko's most crushing blows and still deal out even more effective ones.

During the first few minutes of the fight, Asuka felt out A-ko's fighting style, and had determined that A-ko had absolutely no defensive repertoire. It was only natural: there were few that could put a super-being on the defensive. But once Asuka had understood this, she began to use purely defensive tactics: she fell back on her Judo background; she picked one part of the ground and defended it while using her opponents energy and momentum against her in the form of overhead throws and chokeholds.

However, B-ko was not impressed. "What are you doing, you idiot? Use your Akagiyama Missiles!" she yelled at Asuka.

"You idiot! I'm not going to use my missiles! I might hit the school!" cried Asuka. "And I'm not an idiot, I'm a Cum Magna!"

Just then, Miss Ayumi rode out of the school on her motorbike. "Asuka! A-ko! B-ko! What are you still doing here? Haven't you learned to evacuate yet?"

Asuka looked at the blue haired teacher. "What do you mean, evacuate?" She dodged a kick from A-ko. "A-ko, what are you doing? Time out!" She turned to Miss Ayumi. "What's going on?"

"Haven't you heard? The Macross has just been destroyed! There's an alien invasion in progress! I swear, you girls are always gossiping about boys and things! When are you ever going to pay attention to what's going on in the real world?"

"Would you say that this constitutes an emergency?" asked Asuka.

Miss Ayumi sighed. "Why yes, I say it does, Asuka," she said in a tone that most people reserve for three year olds. With that, she drove off.

A sinister smirk pulled Asuka's lips upward. "Wünderbar," she murmured.

"What are you waiting for?" screamed B-ko. "Get over there and fight!"

Asuka looked at B-ko and laughed. "Are you kidding?" She turned to A-ko. "Want to call truce? I think we ought to at least get rid of those aliens."

A-ko smiled. "Sounds good to me."

"Okay, I'll need you to get in touch with the local militia. Tell them to come meet me in front of the Daitokuji Manor."

"Wait a minute!" said B-ko. "Just what do you think you're doing? You have to follow my orders!"

"Not anymore," said Asuka. "There's an alien vessel coming this way, and it's my job to stop it. You do whatever you want. I'm taking command of this operation."

***

Half an hour later, Asuka stood in the tent of an impromptu war camp along with EDF Director/General Monty Zuma, his executive officer, Colonel Lawrence Yashida, A-ko, and C-ko for a hasty war council. The jittery, overweight Director was a sharp contrast to the cold, calculated Commander Ikari. For all of her dislike for Ikari, Asuka had to respect his tenacity. Unlike him, Zuma was someone who obviously didn't like the idea of confrontation. But she really didn't need him. She had majored in tactics in college, and she was confident that she could come up with a plan on her own.

"All right," began Asuka, "I need to know as much as I can about the Egota series ships."

"Well for starters, they're indestructible," said Zuma.

"Nonsense," contradicted Asuka. "That's what everyone said about the Third Angel, before it was destroyed. Everything has a weakness."

"Commander Zuma's right," said Colonel Yashida. "I've never seen anything that could destroy an Egota. Disable, sure, but not destroy."

"And we can't afford to disable it," said A-ko. "I don't think we want two Egotas in our harbor."

"Hey A-ko," began C-ko.

"Not now, C-ko," admonished A-ko.

"Is there anyway we can convince them that whatever they're looking for isn't here?" asked Asuka.

"I doubt that," said A-ko. "They're probably after C-ko, and they probably already know she's here."

"But…" C-ko tried to interrupt.

"Later, C-ko, okay?"

"But it's important!" cried C-ko.

"Wait a minute," said Asuka. "What is it, C-ko?"

"Well, the aliens always let me onto their ship. One day I went to the engine room, and there were these weird green pipes. When I asked the Captain what they were for, she told me that they keep the engines cool when the ship's running. Without them, the engines would go supercrii, supercriii…"

"Supercritical?" guessed Asuka.

"That's it!" said C-ko. "And A-ko, you remember the time that the Captain got so mad that she couldn't get a drink that she started shooting that big gun on the bridge?"

"Right," said A-ko. "She hit one of the consoles and it caused half the ship to blow. That's what brought it down to begin with."

"Okay, I've got an idea," said Asuka. "A-ko do you have a jetpack?"

"Yeah. I just bought it last week."

"Good. Here's how it goes. I'll need the EDF to mount a diversionary assault on the ship to lure the widow fighters away. Meanwhile, A-ko will lift Unit-02 onto the ship from the rear. Dr. Sato will utilize the secondary batteries to bolster my Evangelion's activation time. Once that's done, A-ko and I will separate. I'll find the engine room and destroy the coolant pipes. A-ko will take out the bridge. Between the two explosions, there won't be enough of that Egota left to fill a thimble."

"But how will you get out alive?" asked Zuma.

"Are you stupid? My Eva's handled a lot worse than some fire and shrapnel. Once you've detonated the bridge, A-ko, utilize Unit 02's tracking device and find me. Once there, I'll let you into Unit 02. Remember, you'll only have at most fifteen minutes to do all of this, even with the backup batteries."

Asuka turned to C-ko. "C-ko, I want you to stay at the Daitokuji manor. It's probably the safest place, and if this doesn't work, it's the last place the aliens will look for you. Okay?"

"But I wanna be with A-ko," whined C-ko.

"But it's too dangerous," said A-ko. "I'm sure B-ko will take good care of you. Lord knows there isn't anything else she's good at."

"Are we all clear on what we're supposed to do?" asked Asuka. Everyone nodded. "All right then, let's move out!"

***

Asuka looked up and saw the EDF planes buzz overhead. The operation was starting. "How long before the backups are fully charged?" Asuka radioed Dr. Sato.

"We're at eighty percent," replied Sato. "Asuka, are you sure that this is necessary? When all is said and done, these aliens are pretty harmless."

"No way!" said Asuka. "These are mentally unbalanced people with weapons straight out of the next decade! If you ask me, it's worse than going up a knife wielding maniac from some twentieth century slasher flick."

"Ninety five percent," Asuka heard a tech say.

"Ready A-ko?" asked Asuka.

"Whenever you are," replied A-ko, firing up her jetpack.

"Batteries are fully charged," said the tech.

"Detach external power," ordered Dr. Sato.

Retro rockets fired briefly from the umbilical cable as the timer came online and began to count down from fifteen minutes. "Charge!" cried Asuka.

It took all of A-ko's strength to hoist the hundred fifty foot robot into the air. Asuka watched the ground shrink, becoming smaller and smaller. Then she looked up and saw the massive four mile ship coming into view.

"Widows on your left!" cried A-ko. Asuka looked and saw three of the spider-like fighters flying toward her firing their lasers. Fortunately, they couldn't pierce Unit 02's AT Field. Asuka negligently picked them off with her rifle.

They were almost at the ship's stern when they began to dip. Asuka reached out with her hands and grabbed on to the ship like the ledge of a cliff. A-ko scrambled up the Eva's arms and onto the hull. With that, she pulled Asuka up. A-ko discarded the jetpack. "Ran out of fuel," she explained.

"Well, so much for the easy part," said Asuka. "Now the fun begins. Good luck, A-ko." She sprinted across the hull and toward the airlock, causing it to vibrate with the shock. She reached the airlock and entered.

Guns blazing, Asuka took out the death-ray security machines lining the walls. She called up the schematic that C-ko had hastily drawn. According to the blueprint, the engine room was on the lower level. She quickly found a shaft and jumped down it.

Curiously, Asuka wondered why the passages were big enough for her to get through. One of the major flaws in her plans, she had thought, would be maneuvering through ten feet tall passages that she would have. But the cavernous tunnels in the ship seemed just right for her.

Then, much to her dismay, she found out why the passages were so big. As she entered an even more open area, Asuka stared at the two hundred foot giant robot. It had no head, only a torso with a glowing green sphere in the center. It stood erect on two humanoid legs, but the fingers on the mecha's arms were in fact spider appendages. Without warning, the robot's arm shot directly toward the Eva. Asuka deftly sidestepped in just a nick of time as the arm smashed into the wall behind her, leaving a huge dent. She returned fire, aiming at the sphere. But then, Asuka watched in horror as the robot quickly vaped the bullets with a cannon built into its arm.

Mein Gott! How do I defeat this thing? wondered Asuka.

***

A-ko easily took out Egota's foot soldiers. It was just like before when she had attempted to rescue C-ko from Napolipolita's ship. She raced toward the disk elevator, stopping only to throw a few spin-kicks at the advancing security personnel and punching out some of the death-ray machines.

At least there's no D this time, thought A-ko as she stepped from the elevator onto a catwalk bridging the gap between the elevator and the corridor to the bridge. The catwalk hung over a shaft leading to who knew where. As A-ko got to the midway point of the bridge, a figure came down on her from above.

A-ko jumped up and rolled backward, deftly dodging the overhead slash and landing with her back to her opponent. "You dodged that very nicely," said her unseen adversary almost admirably in a soprano voice, "for a rat."

A-ko turned and saw a tall, lithe woman with short-cropped raven hair dressed in an officer's uniform. "Some rats are actually the exterminators," growled A-ko.

The officer ignored the remark. "You go no farther. Now you have to deal with Captain Horror Garrington, and H.M.S. Reebok!" With that she charged toward A-ko, sword poised to kill.

***

Asuka cartwheeled out of the path of the robot's laser and fired another volley. No good. The bullets bounced off of the mecha's metallic armor. In two short minutes, the two robots had battled to a stalemate. And that robot could win with a stalemate, so it was up to Asuka to go on the offensive.

I've got to get close enough to that thing to be able to use my prog knife, Asuka reminded herself. But how?

***

A-ko sidestepped yet another slash and returned with a jab to Garrington's nose. The Captain had taken some of her best shots, and was still able to come back for more. The fact that she was even more agile than D had been made it even worse as her intricate swordplay had left her with scratches on her face and arms.

"You think you're so strong? Well here's real strength!" cried Garrington as she charged once again.

***

"Now I've got you, you overgrown can opener!" cried Asuka exuberantly. She deftly dodged the robot's arm attack, took out her progressive knife, and ran up the side of the wall. The confused automaton slowly turned to see the Evangelion as she pushed off toward it. Asuka grabbed the thing in a bear hug. "See you in hell!" she screamed as she thrust the prog knife directly into the machine's heart. Sparks flew, followed by a huge explosion.

Asuka walked proudly from the hail of fire. "That got him." Then she looked at her timer. "Only three minutes to go! Gotta find that engine room." With that she raced down the corridor as fast as she could.

***

A-ko and Garrington still fought their duel above the bottomless pit. Garrington, frustrated at the lack of success of her finesse tactics, rushed A-ko in an attempt to push her over the side of the catwalk. But A-ko easily matched the captain's strength, and before she knew what was happening, Garrington was sent flying to the other end of the bridge by A-ko.

As Garrington once again charged at A-ko, A-ko remembered how she and Asuka had fought. She had leapt up in the air in an attempt to kick Asuka, but Asuka had simply ducked and grabbed A-ko's arm, throwing her to the ground some few feet away.

Thus it was with Garrington. She leapt off the ground, sword poised for a strike. A-ko ducked underneath and grabbed Garrington's arm and pushing her over her intended target. Garrington screamed as she sailed over the catwalk's railing and down into the depths below.

Before she could congratulate herself, A-ko's watch beeped. "Ack! Three minutes! I'm late!" With that, she raced down the corridor and through the door to the bridge.

Not even bothering to break her momentum, A-ko crashed through the bridge door, going through the console that was her target, and out the other side.

***

Asuka raced down the hall at break-neck speed toward the engine room. She negligently dispatched the death-ray machines along the walls and then came to a giant structure. "This must be it!" said Asuka aloud.

Alarms suddenly began to blare. A-ko must have done her job. Now it's time to do mine. Asuka jumped on top of the engine and smashed the pipes. Clear liquid sprayed onto her Eva as she felt the surface under her feet get hotter and hotter. She jumped off and raced out.

Thirty seconds later, A-ko raced around the corner. Holding the Eva on her commands, Asuka ejected her entry plugs. "The engine's gonna go any second! Hurry!" A-ko raced into the plug as a tidal wave of fire washed through the ship.

***

Director/General Zuma watched in shock from the EDF command tower as the exploding Egota lit up the noon day sky like a second sun. All around him, his subordinates broke into cheers. As the sky rained debris, Zuma sat back in his seat and groaned. "There goes our award for environmental awareness," he whined.

Ten seconds later, Evangelion Unit 02 crashed landed just outside the harbor, fell to its knees, and lay still.

***

Asuka and A-ko watched the sun set from atop the hill in front of Daitokuji Manor. The trucks carrying Eva Unit 02, the power cables, and everything else had all left, and Asuka was just waiting for her ride, which would be there any minute.

"Man, I had it easy compared to what you went through," said A-ko. "A robot bigger than and Eva? No way! They never had one on the ship I brought down."

"Yup. Good thing it was pretty dumb, though. But what about that captain? What was her name?"

"Horror Garrington."

"What?" cried Asuka incredulously. "Honor Harrington?"

"No," corrected A-ko. "Horror Garrington. She was tall, had short cropped black hair…"

"Stop! You're freaking me out! I like David Weber!"

"Who's David Weber?"

Asuka sighed. A-ko was obviously for real. "Never mind. Oh, here's my ride!" she cried zealously as a car pulled up to the manor. A tall unkempt man with a ponytail got out. "Kaji!" Asuka squealed, running up to him and throwing her arms around him.

A-ko regarded the stubble-faced man. "That's Kaji?" she asked. She and Asuka had spent their idle hours discussing what most girls usually talked about: boys. She had expected Asuka to have better taste than this. "Ew."

"Hello, sweetheart!" said Kaji. "Did you miss me?"

"More than you can imagine," replied Asuka.

"Not so fast!" a voice from behind them cried. Asuka turned to find B-ko walking toward them.

"You!" she pointed at Asuka. "You humiliated me in front of my enemies! You made my subordinates look like fools! You took all of the praise and glory and left me with nothing! Look over your shoulder, Asuka, because one day, when you least expect it, I'll be there! I'll be… umm…" by this time, Asuka had strode up to B-ko, hands balled into fists, nose to nose with her.

Asuka grabbed B-ko by her collar. Her teeth bared she cocked her fist, ready to strike. Abruptly, she pushed B-ko down on the ground. "You're not even worth it. You are a bitch. You are the biggest bitch I have ever met in my life. I hope you live a long and miserable life, and if I never see you again, it'll be too soon!" She stalked to the car and then turned to A-ko. "Remember my offer, okay?" With that, she got in the automobile with Kaji and sped off.

***

At a stoplight, Kaji leafed through Asuka's report. "Hmm… interesting. I take it you and Miss Daitokuji didn't get along very well."

"That's an understatement," said Asuka sourly. "What do you think of my theories on physical characteristic transfers?"

"That's more Ritsuko's department. Of course the idea of a super powered special child being able to transfer her power to an Eva has to be worth looking into. If A-ko ever made the cut, and it were possible, think of the way she could handle an Angel." He paused. "And I'm sure she and Shinji would get along quite nicely."

Asuka's jaw dropped. "Are you kidding?" she cried. "Shinji and A-ko would hate each other! I mean, Shinji just isn't her type, you know."

Kaji smiled. "That's not judging by what your report says. Are you jealous? I thought I was your boyfriend, peaches."

Asuka felt a warmth spreading across her cheeks. "You know, don't you?" she said softly.

"Asuka, honey, everyone knows, except Shinji. Don't worry. I couldn't have lost to a better man," he cried mock-dramatically.

"Well, at least you'll always be my first. He can't take that away from you."

Kaji regarded Asuka. "That's true, isn't it."

The car moved silently through the night. "Well," said Kaji, "we're making good time. With any luck, we'll have you home by supper."

An hour later, Kaji and Asuka pulled up to the apartment building. Asuka got her belongings out of the trunk, and Kaji drove away. Asuka hauled her luggage to the elevator, regretting every single thing she had bought in Graviton with each step. She carried her suitcases to the door of the apartment and went in.

The smell of fish and soup wafted from the kitchen and into the hallway as she entered. Genius at work, thought Asuka wistfully as she put her belongings in the bedroom. She trotted off to the kitchen.

Shinji was so engrossed in his cooking that he didn't notice Asuka standing at the kitchen doorway until after about a minute. Then he turned to see the redhead staring at him, smiling serenely. "I'm home," said Asuka simply.

Shinji returned her smile. "Welcome home."

To Be Continued

Next Episode:

After an equipment test goes horribly wrong, Asuka is left in a coma. Fighting for her life in the bowels of her spirit, she comes face to face with worst enemy-herself! In order to survive this conflict, she must do that which she is most afraid to do-take down the barriers that exist between her and Shinji. Can Asuka summon up the courage to defeat the foe within? Find out in the next episode:

Asuka Versus Herself